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Friend: So you're a programmer? You must be good in hacking WiFis and sht.
Me: Uhm..
Friend: Can you hack my PayPal account using HTML?
Me: Say no more.
13 -
I asked my mom if I can buy myself a raspberry pi for my birthday.
No matter what I show or say to her, she won't stop telling me to bake my own raspberry pie. ;-;10 -
Made a website for a friend's parents in 2015. Months later after the website was finished, I haven't been paid. Reminded them about the money, they say they will call me. No call received. So, I turned the website into this. (image)
2017, still haven't been paid.
16 -
Most used lie you tell to client: -
Client: “Could you make the software do XYZ?”
Programmer: “No.”
What the programmer really wants to say:
“It’s software. Of course we could do it. But:
it would take a very long time,you can’t afford it,we can’t sell it to anyone else because it’s a terrible idea,by the time we finish it, you won’t want it anymore.”
“No” is just easier to say and is less insulting, especially when the client has a dozen of these great ideas.13 -
Today, I finally had the opportunity to say to a client: "It is not a bug, it is a feature".
No, seriously, it is a feature.2 -
"Never undervalue yourself or let anyone else undervalue you."
"Learn to say no."
Same person during my first contract, where I was working insane hours for very little pay. -
relationship with dev perks (just happened):
GF : *bad mood* i'm hungry
Me : Let's go get some food ! *trying to cheer her up*
GF : No.
Me : Ok, whatever you say.
GF : Do you really wa--
Me : Whaat? you said "No"?
GF : Don't you see abstraction in my face?
Me : so what ? you want me to Implement it?
GF : NO. PUT IT IN YOUR GODDAMN MAIN FUNCTION.
Me : ok let's go *still don't understand what she meant*
GF : Good Job.68 -
Just a personal thing (and no clue why) but I can't fucking stand it when people say www. in front of their domains.
Working as a Linux + support engineer, I get quite some calls where people have to give me the domain they're calling about.
"what's the domain if I may ask?"
"oh that's www.theirdomain.com!"
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE JUST SAY THE DOMAIN, WWW. IS *NOT* PART OF IT, IT'S JUST A FUCKING SUBDOMAIN 😤18 -
Wife: the neighbors brought their pc, it doesn't work.
Me: WTF did I say to you. I DON'T REPAIR ANYTHING NO PCS, PRINTERS, WASHMACHINES NOTHING TELL THEM TO GET THE FUCKING PC GODDAMIT ITS MY FREE DAY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.5 -
Me, in the zone, staring at the code. Co-worker enters.
Co: hey, can you...
Me (not really listening): no.
Co: it's just...
Me: no.
Co: later?
Me: no.
Co: but...
Me: no.
Co: (leaving)13 -
Android : devRant is consuming too much power in background
Me : Say what ??
A : I said devRant is consuming too much pow.................
M : Who the fuck told you to rant about it
*Turns the phone off
No one speaks ill of devRant and lives long enough to tell about it.5 -
Highschool:
Friend asks if he can copy homework, gets a no, steals it and copies anyway.
Uni:
Asks for help, I give a tip or 2, and say that it's on my Github if he wants to look at it. Replies "No thank you, I really want to get this myself".6 -
When my programmer boyfriend talks about his code, all I say is "That's so cool, babe," because I have no idea what he's even talking about.
He could be telling me he blew up a server.
"That's so cool, babe."
(I love you, though, darling x)9 -
I left the military to become a dev. With no degree and no professional experience. It's safe to say they thought I was crazy. But now it's safe to say they are proud of me.18
-
Headphones are in, colleague calls my name, I take them out a little annoyed at the interruption.
Colleague: what did one window say to the other?
Me: you're such a pane you know that?
Colleague: no but fuck! That's better1 -
I am so fucking fed up with being brought into a meeting because you "understand the technology" and then no fucker actually listens when you say that their idea won't work because the tech isn't magic.3
-
"Dude, don’t you hate it when people say "well yes and no" like they are some kind of goddamn quantum computer or something?"6
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I frckin HATE people who say 'Ah, you can program now? So can you make a game for me? I even have some ideas!, bla bla blurb...'
It makes me wanna hurt them. And the really, really sad thing about it is: nearly no one understands why.4 -
I had a scrolling addiction on Facebook, then I installed devRant... I can say that I no longer have a scrolling addiction on Facebook... *No time for Facebook, must read all rants!*4
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Why am I able to write a quick search algorithm in JavaScript but am not able to talk to girls?
Shouldn't the second one be easier than the first one?
Shouldn't every human being be able to do the first one?298 -
"The client has no idea what they want, just throw your best guess out there and let's see what they say" -- best project manager in the world2
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Started working at a large company with promises of a great framework, stable environment and bleeding edge tools, decentralised working environment, only to find visual studio 2010, no git, no project management tooling whatsoever, all documentation stored on svn, no slack or other modern communications platform, still using uploaded word documents as documentation for projects and meetings, so yeah I can truly say :/11
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Boss: Hey squares, I need one of you to select a new volume control, if you spot anything let me know.
Me: Say no more
2 -
Haven't seen a JS framework in a while? Well say no more, I just created a framework to make sure the flow is ongoing:
https://github.com/tahnik/...
Enjoy!18 -
Client: "I have a problem."
Me: "No problem, can you say me the error message? "
Client: "No I have clicked the message Away... "
Me: 😣🤐5 -
Services/apps and their automatic general sayings. I fucking hate that.
'apping' is an abbreviation for either whatsapping someone or messaging them in general (in the Netherlands at least).
Sorry but I fucking hate WhatsApp and I'm not going to say that fucking app/apping word. But then in general it's confusing imo.
IF YOU'RE GOING TO TEXT ME, DON'T SAY YOU'RE GOING TO APP ME.
IF YOU'RE GOING TO SIGNAL ME, DON'T SAY YOU'RE GOING TO APP ME.
"but I meant that" - THEN FUCKING SAY IT.
I DON'T 'GOOGLE SOMETHING'. I FUCKING DUCKDUCKGO IT. NO, THAT'S NOT THE FUCKING SAME.
FUCKING HELL.18 -
Few phrases you should not say at Job:
1. That's not my job
2. We've tried that before
3. There's no budget for that
4. I told you so
5. That doesn't follow procedure
Comment if you have more.36 -
Note to self : when a client say "we want to develop 'exact clone' of SomeFuckingBigCompany" - Say NO.3
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About 6 years ago, my boss found out about social media and how he could use it to boost his business. So he created a Facebook page.
A week later he called me to his office and asked me to move the page's profile picture from left to right. I told him this was not possible and was something Facebook doesn't allow us to do.
Next thing I know he started telling me to check and try before I say no, and should never say no as anything was possible.
Obviously, I quit.2 -
Assembly...
Do I really need to say more? Okay, it's low level so there is no abstraction. All you deal with is cold naked mathematical truth and physical limitations.
It's still ❤️8 -
I just mistyped a keyboard shortcut that caused my computer to say «I AM FILO AND EVERYONE LOVES ME» at full volume.
I have no memory of leaving a script attached to some random shortcut, and I can't find the setting anywhere.
Young me was a narcissistic asshole2 -
Eh ehe hehe he eh ehehe
On top of burnout, codebase issues, spec issues, burnout, the product butt that keeps on crapping, burnout, burnout, loathing for my employer... My local Apple SSL cert expired. I can’t finish this and push it anywhere for testing. I can’t even run my own specs anymore. And I don’t have permissions to make a new one. I can’t do anything at all.
Ehe he hehe
Deadline is in two days, and I’m just sitting here laughing quietly to myself. I might finally be going crazy
I found a loose bit of tangle, started to pull, and the world decided it was time to fall apart. Reality said it’s time to go. And I wasn’t even a good screwdriver dev. Byeee ~12 -
No Rant, just wanted to say devRant is something I have been looking for in a long time, Love it !3
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My Friends say i´m no dev...
Why???? :(
I love do Sports,
I have free time,
I´m eating healthy,
I don't like coffee....10 -
How to be the Dev with no friends
Say:
"DevRant is shit"
"SO is shit!! "
" Quora is shit"
"I dont need Friends"
Voila: ur life is ruined now14 -
Clients who don't get back to you for weeks and then suddenly need it done urgently. Just once I would love to say "sorry, booked up, no can do."3
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Everyone knows that coworker who just defies anything you say for no reason.
Me: "Ah, nice day today isn't it?"
CW: "Actually, today is historically mediocre compared to the rest of the days that have ever occurred."
Imagine trying to solve real problems with this dude.4 -
So this client wanted a demo on Dockers. So I gave the demo with some microservices running on different containers. Later the clients come back and say, "Docker is good. But please fit all the microservices in one container." I say but that defeats the purpose of microservices. But no, the client say. I tried explaining but no is no. Shit!! Fine! Have it your way!!5
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That brief moment in life when you realize no one actually cares about half the stuff you say.
Man does it suck to be depressed.12 -
I as the "coffeedrinker" stopped drinking coffee and energy drinks. I do not want to be anyone's boss but if you think you can live without them, do it. I am fairly young and after a long period of frequent consumption ( 1 coffee or drink per day), I was waking up at nights or struggling during the days from constant heart pains. Now 2 months later this phenomenon happens seldom and I feel better and more refreshed after my sleeping. I know this is irrelevant but I know fellow devs that overconsume these kind of drinks. At least if you can limit your dose! :) I just want everyone to be healthy and happy! Have a nice day! ♥60
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WTF python.... How the fuck are you an OOP language and unable to overload constructors...?
No method overloading... and they say JAVA is a shitty language.24 -
How can those WordPress-Theme-Creator-Bitches write bullshit like "no coding skills required". What the fuck do you say?
Why don't you jump into the Pacific Ocean (no swimming skills required), idiot.3 -
Whenener I say that I'm a videogame programing student, why is still everyone judging me like "so you have no future" or "so you spend your days gaming..."
I'm not studying on stack overflow, I'm in a specialized school and I DO have a social life besides that 😡10 -
What the PMs always say: Always be thinking of ways to improve our system.
Me: Hey this is really poorly built. We should rebuild it before moving forward.
PMs: No just use the same code we used before. It was working so we don't need to rebuild it.4 -
So im trying to learn to install arch Linux and it's safe to say... I have no fucking clue what in doing :-D11
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So... Some fake accounts on Twitter claimed to be Elon Musk and to give shitloads of Bitcoin to those who sent a little amount first. They stole... Wait for it... 180 grand.
That's basically your everyday 419 scam. Existing since before the internet, done with the names of Gates, Buffet, Bush, Obama...
They say "the big bad evil criminals and the poor little innocent victims" I say natural selection. Sorry, in those lion vs gazelle scenarios I always thought that it was fair, no matter how it went.
Just when did humanity get so brainless? Have we always been, is the internet just a catalyst for stupidity?
Just why the fuck must I be an infosec sheepdog instead of a wolf? Man, I could live the life, drink beer and smoke herb while working... Get up at 12, don't give a shit, no boss, no taxes, no social security payments that I don't see jack shit from, and the pay would be better to.
Damn.13 -
My company is asking me to create a new gmail account everyday and write a positive review with 5 stars for their iOS app on App Store. Is that even legal? Should I say no? I’m a fucking engineer, not a click-farm worker.10
-
Fullstack developer Job ad:
........ Building the next generation of IOT. Innovation that will change the way internet works.
Requiremenets:
- wordpress
...5 -
When the client rings up saying the website is down. I say can you see any other sites. They say, no, nothing is coming up. It's your internet connection, kindly fuck off!
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So, boss asks for support on sunday, I say sure, no problem. I arrive, get to my station and suddenly my nose, eyes and throat become itchy. The goddamn building's been fumigated. Fucking assholes. I'm going back home dizzy and nauseous.4
-
Yesterday I had to ask a classmate what the arguments of a method were (no documentation).
He said: "Uhmm it doesn't matter in which order you put the arguments into the method?"
No more to say.5 -
Hey are you atheist? Looking for answers? Say no more I got the religion for you. Convert to stackoverFlow and you will always have an answer in your dark times.3
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!rant
Vertical monitors people... Just tried it for the first time a few days ago; let's say that there's no going back. Why didn't anyone tell me about this before?11 -
Why The Fuck do you always have to say "Yes"?
I'm asking for a goddamn opinion. Give me an opinion.
But no, everything I say must be fucking gold 'cause it's always "yes", "you're right", "good idea", "I agree".
It's irritating as hell. It's "yes" even when I say something stupid on purpose.
Learn to say no, for fuck's sake.12 -
Buttons that say "Yes, please" should be "Yes".
"No, thanks" should be "No".
"Not now" should be "Never".
I am using software, not talking to people, there's no need to be nice.11 -
Roommate: Filter it, would you please? (* Was talking about the tea*).
Me: Alright buddy, say no more. (*Names the signal that I was working on as "Tea".*)
(*Got the filtered output 😎*)
3 -
Cs101 - a 3 hour Friday morning lecture. 1st at uni doing computer science. Half asleep. I'm awoken by the professor
"You at the back - what's the answer!"
Alarmed but not too bothered I just say "I don't know"
He replies "yes you do! We just went over it"
I say I really don't know. Someone behind me says "64". So I say "64".
Professor sighs and says "no - 2 to the power 8 is 256!"
He never liked me after that.4 -
Just heard a site IT leader say her laptop was "fixed with a BIOS update" followed by "I have no idea what that means"
How do these people get into these kinds of roles?4 -
So many meetings that we have pre-meeting meetings.
Tomorrow is the best meeting of all - the show and tell, where we can say we spent all sprint in meetings and did no actual work.1 -
I know i know, its an old story.
but.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR STUPID PASSWORD REQUIREMENTS
NO SPECIAL CHARACTERS WONT MAKE IT SAFER
FFS. JUST SAY IT HAS TO BE 20 CHARACTERS AND BE DONE WITH IT
14 -
In the wk83 rants I noticed that users mostly upvote posts that say "I have no friends" instead of posts that actually talk about the week subject.
Are you envious or what?7 -
I just read two rants with round about 40 fucking inside.
No I feel better after a fucking shit day.
Want to say thank you for your fucking good rants.
👍😁4 -
I know ppl say there is no place like home...
but after returning from places like this one, I just wanna go back there...
3 -
In spanish we don't say "stop being afraid" o "have no fear" word by word through translation. We say "ya no seas panocha" which roughly translates to "find bravery within you" and I think that this is beautiful.
For people that are constantly afraid we don't call them fearful in standard translation, we refer to them as "panochon" which attempts to remind them that they are in fact brave.
Use the word my friends. No sean panocha.21 -
For the first time I have enough seniority to say no to a request from another team...and it felt so good.3
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I'm embarrassed to say I'm a php programmer. Time to learn a new language. No offense to any php lovers out there. All love ❤8
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Don't trust people. Especially if they say: "No Problem, I'll invest enough time to make x happen"
But in general. Don't trust people until you know them very well.2 -
*LOL* The animal rights organisation PETA criticises the use of donkeys in the traditional Passion play in Oberammergau, Bavaria, Germany. PETA claims that Jesus would ride into Jerusalem on an e-scooter.
https://dw.com/en/...11 -
"Yeah, I got your e-mail, I see the subject. Oh no, dude, it says urgent so it went straight to the URGENT queue. Yeah? Ah. Sure, I'll get to it as soon as I get through the ASAP, NOW and YESTERDAY queues. Well, if you wanted me to read it right away you should've say there's NO HURRY - I read only one no-hurry e-mail a day but there's currently 0 tasks on that queue."
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Long time no see devRant! Its been a long time since I have been active in this community but I am proud to say in my current job, for the first time, i am being paid to program! A wonderful feeling1
-
in Russian the word “шляпа” (fedora) means not only the specific hat but also something that makes no sense, something ridiculous or something of low quality.
So when someone sends you some spaghetti code on a review, you can just say “That’s fedora” and I love it. You can also WEAR a fedora and point to it as a response to someone saying something that makes no sense.
5 -
Windows asks to update. I say no and 10min later i get this casual update continuing.
Glad i have a say in life
8 -
Did you say "go to hell" to your project manager?
No, i would not use gogo.
So what's it with you and him?
I think he implements IDisposable.3 -
People that say they want things ASAP. But really mean "no rush, whenever you get to it". Can go fuck themselves.3
-
My strategy is really really dumb. I go outside and smoke... ive done this for so long that im now at the point that im terrified that if i stop smoking i wont get unstuck. pathetic isnt it?3
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There are no words to say how much I hate it when people put spaces in front of the brackets of function calls. No one ever can tell me that this would be easier to read...
8 -
So...Just got moved from salaried to hourly for an already extremely overworked, underpaid position. Lost our flexible hours and our platform is moving to drop and drag...Watch them say no overtime now. Beyond pissed!😡1
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All I did was asked a rookie question(because I am rookie) and this is what he had to say.
He could've just said no politely. But I guess his success is on his head.
9 -
Wtf. So if I say I'm a web developer and I say I'm from Russia. Then I am automatically a hacker for you? "Web developer + Russian = 95% chance of being a hacker". Yeah, right. Since now, right after I say I'm from Russia I always add this: "No, I'm not a hacker and no, I didn't hack the last election, but I can tell you your last four digits of your SSN if you show me your debit card". Guess what, no one wants to talk to me anymore.12
-
Anyway I just want to fucking write code. I don't want to deal with people or give an opinion that is not appreciated. My manager says I am too aggressive but the truth is I hate stupidity and incompetence. I tell them their ideas are shit and not in a polite way and they make HR call me. Now I don't say shit and they are asking what I think. I think all of you are cunts that's what I think.but I don't say that. I say no comment when I know they are about to fall into a massive ditch. Will I stop them? Fuck no. Will I help them out if the ditch? Maybe, if it only involves writing code. I can't do diplomacy. I'll definitely be a fucking tyrant if I ever ruled a nation.14
-
First time doing web development for front end AND back end and I just want to say...
FUCK YOU YOU SHITTY ASS BOLLOCK DRIPPINGLY RETARDING CACHE, WHO YOU LOAD THINGS I NO WANT YOU TO LOAD...WHY THO?...
Well that was 2 hours of my life wasted....8 -
TL;DR;
I was asked to give estimation on an app, that:
1. No one has a clue what it does, even though there is v1 on the store with almost 10% of functionality working
2. No one has a clue what should be in the new rewritten version
3. We are already behind schedule and I have no clue why, I've just been told that
4. They need UI flow that shows how the app will work with static data and when API's are ready (because ya know, writing code is easier than creating wireframes and modifying them accordingly) I will then need to link app with API as if it is as simple as drinking a cup of water, especially that: 1. What is water? 2. Do I have a cup or is it given, and 3. Relax bro, drinking water is like eating a burger, piece of cake!
I'm not sure what to do, not enough that it's React Native but also spaghetti requirements that no one was able to answer my simple question: What is the app responsible of?
P.S.: Some say I must rewrite the old app ONLY, no new features, others say: Turn the new web portal into mobile app, I say: WTF is going one?6 -
Last day at home today. Moving tommorrow for my apprenticeship with a company that'd likely give me a warning/fire me if I say too much about it.
If I disappear off the face of the planet, it's because I have no money for internet yet.
13 -
npm: "npm does not support Node.js v10.24.0; You should probably upgrade to a newer version"
Also npm: "Supported releases are the latest release of 4, 6, 7, 8, 9"
Uh...good to know this piece of software is still a dump where rejected code goes to rot.2 -
Rant! I'm the only developer working in the company and everybody always comes to me and say, oh you are the IT guy can you fix my iPad?
F**$ no I can't... Stupid iPads..2 -
So I'm gonna send the e-mail with these 4 questions, is that OK or am I missing anything?
"Go ahead"
* Clicks send *
"Could you also ask..."
NO! DON'T SAY THAT'S IT'S OK TO SEND IF YOU STILL WANT TO ADD STUFF TO IT!1 -
Devs: There is to much work for the team size, can we say no or wait to the business?
Mgmt: Here are some staff aug contractors.
Later
Devs: They are screwing things up.
Mgmt: Then manage them better, it’s your work they are doing.2 -
Junior developers:
"I have no idea how to solve this one problem; I'll never get good if I just keep Googling for the answer"
Senior developers:
*46 tabs open to Google and StackOverflow for one problem*
src: https://twitter.com/DavidKPiano/...
Gotta say, it's spot-on10 -
My internship is about to end in two months. I was under the impression that I'll start looking for a job towards mid August and then decide what to do. I didn't expect my company to offer me a position so early before my internship ended.
Initially I had liked the place. The work was pretty relaxed and I had quite a bit of freedom. Soon enough, I proved my worth and my team started respecting my opinions and suggestions. They even consulted me on multiple occasions.
The first thing I noticed on the downside was the company, despite being resourceful enough and having a decent turnover and important clients, was quite stingy in terms of employee welfare. There was no coffee. There was machine but you had to buy the capsule for yourself. And that sucks. I know I don't need to say more but the other problems were there was no enterprise subscription (or any subscription) to PhpStorm even though our team handled so many PHP projects. I know IDEs are personal preferences but not having any professional IDEs is not something to let slide. The lead dev uses NetBeans (and not because he loved it or anything). Even though I worked on WebDev and front end, I had no option to ask for a second screen. I had one display apart from my laptop. Usually most companies in Paris provides food tickets for internships and this company did not even give me that. And worst of all, there wasn't really anyone I looked up to. As much as I enjoy responsibilities and all, I don't think I should be in an environment where I have nothing much to learn from my seniors. For some fucked sense of security and certainty, I was willing to overlook all this when they offered me a position. But I recently had my interview and the regional manager, a fuck face who still makes me wonder how he reached his position, made a proposal for some quite a small amount of salary. What infuriated more than his justifications was his attitude itself. There was absolutely no respect whatsoever. It was more like "We'll give you this, I think this is more than enough for you. Take it or do whatever you want". I asked for more and he didn't even bother negotiating. I declined the offer.
Now this would have solved all the issues. But my manager and my lead dev like me a lot. Both of them are pretty nice people. They both were bothered with the fact that I had turned down the offer. My manager even agreed that the offer was too low and had already given me tips to help me negotiate. But after I turned down the offer, she went and discussed the issue with the regional manager and he offered me a new proposal. This time it was decent but still under my expectations. I'm pretty sure I can do better elsewhere. I said I need time to think about it. I get multiple advises from people to take it atleast so that I get my visa converted to a work permit. For some reason, I want to take the risk and say no. And find something else. But today my lead dev called me aside and asked me if was going to say no. He really tried to influence me by telling me a lot of good things about me and telling me about the number of different projects we're going to start next month and all that. Even though I'm fully convinced that I don't want to work here, just the sheer act of saying no to these two people I respect is sooo fucking difficult for me that I can already imagine me working here for the next one year. The worst part is I can clearly classify their words and sentences into stuff they say to canvass me, stuff they're bullshitting about and flattery just to make me stay. Despite knowing I'm being taken advantage of, some fucked up module in my head wouldn't stop guilt tripping me. I don't know what to do. If I only I could find a really better job.
Pardon the grammatical errors if any. I'm just venting out and my thoughts branch in 500 different ways simultaneously.5 -
Returning from vacation tmr... But apparently we just had a "someone at github deleted all the repos and no backup"-like prod issue....
Well guess I say least can say "¯\_(ツ)_/¯ not my area, can't help u"6 -
I know I'm writing the correct integration tests when each one I add uncovers a new bug.
Still, it would be nice if just one of them passed first time.1 -
> Get told my teams products don't work
> I say file a ticket so we know and can assist
> No tickets filed after 4 weeks,
> Team still complains my teams products don't work
Who else has mindless complainers? -
"The word ‘tokenizer’ makes a lot more sense, but ‘lexer’ is so much fun to say that I use it anyway."
No wonders people think a lot of programming subjects are intimidating.3 -
anyone ever had a relative download a virus and when confronted about it they say no? even though you specifically told them not to open weird looking emails.
well, pops apparently did NOT open a ransomware email 😂 Baby, bye, bye, bye... to all the files6 -
Does anyone here just wake up and feel shitty for absolutely no reason why ? When I say absolutely no reason means none whatseover from previous day etc . I wanna know if it's just me 😅4
-
Proud to say that I've graduated with a first class degree! Going to start my graduate job soon, would appreciate any advice as I have no idea how to tackle it or what to do.8
-
It’s been almost 2 years since I left US. But damn, is America now so bitterly partisan? No matter what you say or do, half the country hates you.
25 -
My most ridiculous recruiter experience was the time he called me back to say to me that I'm too confident and... too good for the job. I was so confused ! I had no experience at all, and I was a very introvert person. What a strange way to say that I don't fit for the job.4
-
John Cena : You can't see me !
A frustrated coder : No problem , I'll Java you. I'll Java you until I make sure you are portable , WWE-oriented and ofc .. visible . Say hi to Nikki .
-
I'm the only one who after saying "nah, come on, I will backup it tomorrow, what could happen?", spends the day after by reinstalling Windows (after an awesome crash) and praying that the project he was working on for months is still there?1
-
Lucky shit: no need to clean ass/toilet
Lucky call: Boss/Client asks you immediately after you say Hello if you were ill, and leaves you alone
Today I had both!
Hard times are coming....10 -
When I got in this job:
No test, 0% coverage
No teamwork
No documentation (front and backend)
Senior doesnt want to talk
1year later:
We have test prolly 10% coverage
Still no team work
No documentation
Senior doesn’t want to talk
Ps: tried doing documentation but I cant unless my senior will help me because I dont know the ins and outs of the codebase.
I say crap.11 -
My friend is insistent that developers have absolutely no life whatsoever. Anything you want to say? XD24
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It's nice to see people posting what they've been up to during their free time.
Oh wait, did I say nice? No, fuck you and your slightly better circumstances!2 -
---Me coding away---
ESLint: Hey...
ESLint: Hey... don't-
ESLint: No I think-
Me: Not now bro! This is fine, I need to get this done.
---Months later I go back to clean some things up and I look to see what ESLint has to say----
ESLint:
4 -
It is so comforting when senior senior senior engineers also tell you they have no idea why a fucking test spec occasionally fails. Literally, the spec is fine and all but sometimes, it just decides to say fuck off.3
-
What do you say to your coworkers who want to get free copies of your paid (kinda expensive and lots of effort + time to download) work related video tutorials?
Also, sometimes they ask for it indirectly then laugh.
If they insist, should I ask them to pay for the share?
Some people don't like investing in themselves. They pay expensive tuition costs but don't want to invest while they are working.
What's the proper way to say no in a big corporate environment without looking like a bad guy? I will say yes if the justification and initiative are really good.17 -
You know what I hate more than bugs/shitty docs/no VCS?
Recoding the whole damn thing in another language, from ground up to do exactly the same shit. Why WHY must developers shit hundreds of solutions into space only to say "Huh, look at my software, it was I who developed it." No, you simply recoded it and wasted your time and everyone else's time searching for a solution.1 -
So yeah, apparently i am supposed to take part of 'meating'.
I would love to say its joke/meme but no, not really, that happened.6 -
A: Hey yo, that function should only support up to 20 objects
B: Say no more fam
https://api.flutter.dev/flutter/...16 -
Soooo. World war 3.. 🤷🏾♂️
Safe to say most of us here will be fighting a cyberwarfare. 😂😂😂 No hard feelings folks.10 -
The moment your website throws an irrelevant modal is the moment I close your website. It's the most disgusting website practice of our time, and people really should do something about it. If your client asks for it, please, just say no.
-
Its so disheartening to see how easily replacable you are if you work for someone else, no matter how hard you worked. The moment you say " I am resigning", the behaviour of your manager changes so dramatically. Its like you don't exist anymore. No more new interesting work, no nothing. Why!!!!7
-
I gotta say I hate and I love the part where I have no idea what I'm doing.
Sometimes it's the last time for that action -
learn when to say no. you gotta play and say yes sometimes, otherwise people won't like you, but if you say yes to anything they'll walk over you2
-
Mentors dont understand the power they have...
My mentors boss (non technical) will ask me to do something that either makes no sense or technically impossible. Without a mentor whos willing to say "that makes no sense to ask" or just "he will need an extra week to do it" can change an internship from a horrible nightmare to a great experience1 -
Reading IE rants on here and I'm confused.
If a client/boss asks to have something work in ie 8, for example, why can't you just say...
No.
"No, it'll waste a hundred hours in Dev time, costing you at least 5 grand or more. please have your users upgrade to the latest browser, it takes them five minutes."
Or am I just naive
Just... Why can't you say that.8 -
!dev maybe... PSA.... just need to rant...
So I've been damaging my teeth all this time without even knowing it...
Apparently coffee is acidic.... Fck.... And also sugars.... And bread and dairy...
So the problem is not actually plaque.... Just brushing teeth don't help...
Why the fck did no dentist ever say that.... All they say it's brush and floss more....
https://triangledentistry.com/how-s...22 -
Time to say no to artificial intelligence, tried ChatGPT today and it's frightening.
The day when we won't consider nukes as the biggest threat to our civilization is approaching exponentially faster and faster and this is really worrying.21 -
What are your guys thoughts on Stackoverflow? I feel like no matter what I say on there, whether it be a question, comment, answer, it’s never good enough for someone. Everyone there just seems so rude for no reason. Do you guys have the same experiences? Just curious if it’s only me or it is like this for everyone.14
-
Trying to get ChatGPT to say inappropriate things is like talking to a fucking twitter user, having to reassure everybody every other sentence that no hypothetical people are being offended and that everything is fine13
-
I hate it when software downloads an update
and then shuffles a notification up my face saying "An update has been downloaded and ready to install".
Just WTF is wrong with these developers! What if I say no then you just successfully wasted my fucking internet data and disk space. Thank you and no thank you idiots.1 -
My old boss who somehow has gotten his small team of 4 PHP development contracts with Vodafone and Tesco etc. No QA, no tests, no frameworks allowed.
Sets random deadlines and used to suddenly drop demos on me for projects I'd just started and he had no idea of the state of them. Needless to say one project I was so rushed with no idea what I was actually making (for real) that I got sacked. -
ATTN: ALL DEVZ
I think we all should just band together and say FU! to all of these software companies and form one gigantic software corporation, steal all of their clients, and make them beg on their knees for us to help them. Not only that, make them go through a series of VERY stressful interviews (to see who deserves our time, of course) in which we simply say....."no" with no explanation. Bwahahahahhahahaha!!!
Wishful thinking.... 🤔4 -
dear ietf-people i want to thank you that tls1.3 is official. i know it was hard work to say just no to the doughbags and preventing that middleware and spyware manufacturers implementing static keys.
to make it short:
Thank you for your hard work -
Fucking MySQL workbench won't even tell me what's wrong with my PL/SQL script. It has no output whatsoever. I click the run button and its like "y'all say sum?"
Why are all tools for SQL development so shit. All the time.5 -
Just saw this question on quora asking if saying ess-kew-ell is an indication that someone doesn't know SQL. I say SQL because there's no goddamn ee or kwell in there YOU'RE ADDING LETTERS THAT AREN'T THERE BUT SOMEHOW I'M THE MORON?!?!?!5
-
Obligatory I hate C++ rant
And no, I don't care what anyone has to say, you have to be masochistic to enjoy working with this crap13 -
Biggest distraction for me after noise, is someone challenging me for a chess game, i can't say no to that!!
-
Been developing a "3 months planned" project for almost a year now because PM cant say no to requirements, ive been finding previously disabled functionalities that client is asking for again, i think this is never going to end...
-
Wait a moment sublime... really? I don't have the option to say no to all the 10,000+ replace action?
Now you have me clicking "No", "No", "No"... like a maniac! (－‸ლ)
25 -
Hate it when customers are acting like they know everything about IT and then say things that make absolutely no sense ... 😡
-
November is coming up. That means no mental illness month. Absolutely no front end or JS shit all month. Because it is going to be officially:
"No Nutjob November"
So keep your AOK ass to yourself in November!
(AOK, if you see this, we miss you!)4 -
Moved from a gambling company to a government body. Got to say I'm less stressed about estimates now but more worried about standards here.
Stress and career development < No Stress and less career development.
Ask me in a few months.3 -
I already got my stickers of devRant. I have to say I was thinking that they would pay their own staff for posting photos with stickers, but no!. It's true, they send them haha. Thank you so much for this, it's of very good quality! devRants team it's awesome! :)
3 -
Today in the office: colleague no.1 picks up the phone. We hear a doctor telling him that she does not work tommorow. I say: gynecologist? And my colleague no.2 replies instantly: A vet is more probable 😂 You know why? Cuz he is a beast!2
-
When I say "error in an async function" you say "no stack trace"!
"Error in an async function"!
"No stack trace"!
"No stack trace"!
"Error in an async function"!
"Unhandled promise rejection DEPRECATION WARNING Unhandled promise rejections will be shoved up your ass in node v7.coffee.9.10.666."3 -
The no. of likes on devRant FB page just shows how lazy we developers are, and that we don't really use FB :p
I think devRant shouldn't really worry about FB, and when I say FB, first thing that comes to my mind is Firebase :P2 -
Client asks "Why cant i see an active order on the grid", i say: "You have the No-Active filter applied", Client says: "I think thats no lt the correct behavior", then i just shoot myself...
-
I like the clicks of mouse, the taps of keys, sound of central cooling, the low tone conversations but if someone near me is in a long meeting and constantly talking, I NEED my headphones with music blasting
-
Some people say linux is better than windows because it's better suited for development work
Let's be honest: It's not linux, the tools just suck ass
And no I'm totally not frustrated with installing ocaml on windows 🤐14 -
Sr Engineers that want other to just do what they say with no context or explanation
You are probably right but just explain why!3 -
After reading the script for the architect scene in Matrix Reloaded I was determined to use the word 'concordantly' in a sentence. I am proud to say I have succeeded, and with reference to cloud computing no less.1
-
Fixing a bug under Drupal 8 has a bright and an other bad side
The bad sight is that you slowly get insane trying to fix a bug.
The bright side is that you get to see the lead the lead dev, who assigned you this bug, to get insane too 😁 -
Sitting in a meeting. PM asks if we can go with the schedule management has agreed with the customer.
So, now what do you expect us to say? We can say no, but if it's already settled up the hierarchy levels, it will not have any effect.5 -
Facebook Messenger's latest update wanted to do something with my Google Drive, and I got a prompt asking "Do you trust Facebook?"
Unfortunately, there was no option to say I trust Hitler with the Tsar Bomb more than I trust Facebook and Google talking to each other.6 -
Which privacy-respecting email provider can you recommend? It seems that the following three are the best options:
- tutanota (0€ / 12€)
- posteo (12€)
- mailbox.org (12€)
Do you have any experience with them?
What do you think about a hosted email service with your own domain?18 -
Pushed out a big update that included restructuring every directory. No one had access to the admin section. Yeah needless to say my boss was not happy since no one could do any work. Turned out during the process I made every admin page need the highest level of authorization which only the owner has. Easy fix but stressful day for sure
-
Programming
Easier today than in 2009?
We're got all these tools and shit.. frameworks...
Yeah, which just makes you over ambitious, as the weekend project turns into 6 months despite itself.
I say no.5 -
Never say you can't do feature A, offer a different(better, cheaper, faster, possible) solution when saying NO to your boss
-
Boss always asks how long it will takes to fix a production bug. I just say 2 hours no matter what.1
-
Clearly automated vehicles are not ready for India. As a human I can say the person is trying to explain the no parking sign through words. Systems have to be trained to judge these too :O
5 -
I've spent 6 hours on a discord bot using a language I have no experience in and I have got it to a good foundation. Gotta say im pretty impressed at my ability to google..1
-
So I've started working on my own theme for gnome and after 1 hour I can safely say this... I have no fucking idea what the hell I'm doing! :-)2
-
My boss tried to make me work at holiday (there's no work till 5th of Jan). I laughed at the proposal more than I should, then he understood what I meant and didn't say anything 😄
-
Everyone has these swank job titles now. VP, Principal Something-Something Architect. I'm sorta jealous.
I'm just a "Software Engineer" (I think?) at 23 years in. Actually, I have no idea what my title is, so I just say "Software Engineer".4 -
I love this documentation about System. nanoTime()
Differences in successive calls that span greater than approximately 292 years (2^63 nanoseconds) will not correctly compute elapsed time due to numerical overflow.
Can I confidently say that no service will ever break this limit?5 -
Well one of my clients called me yesterday and say his Windows is not working properly. I asked what did hi do and the answer was:
- Windows say that there is no more space left on drive C: so I moved the Users folder to D:. I thought it should work fine.
Seriously!? Why are you touching system folders!? You should move Win32 folder to D:. Or format drive C:. What's wrong with you man?1 -
I think their should be like tests or any kind of competition on coding kind of thing in devrant.
Or tips related to coding no matter any language most common mistakes etc.That's my idea tho😅😅😅
What u guys say about this?? -
Don't ya just love it when someone you work with is constantly asking you to do stuff. Even though you literally ask nothing of them. Can't say no though because then they throw a gigantic 11 year old temper tantrum..1
-
I can't really figure out how I grew from learning_syntax -> remembering_function_names -> following_patterns -> developing_a_personal_style -> reading_the_doc -> getting_the_source.
Well I have a long memory problem, so I guess it happened overnight!
Wait, did the doctor say it was a memory problem? Hell no! -
Not a rant but I love the fact we can say there is a run away unicorn in staff slack and no one is bats an eye or it looks like there is a lot of orphaned processes lets investigate and murder all the orphanes2
-
And also this year UWP Community Launch is arrived, thanks for your effort, and good luck to everyone involved, keep up the good work, say no to electron.
https://medium.com/@Arlodottxt/...4 -
Done nothing today...
And when I say that I don't mean "I did no work because I've been screwing around doing xyz"
There are things where info from other people is a blocker but still, I'm sitting here at 13:00 going "Where did the time go?!" -
Lately, when someone asks if I know how to do something that I totally know how to do, I just say no so I don't have to do it.3
-
Anyone else remember before Google when we used to say "God knows" for questions we had no idea about.2
-
Wondered what that checkmark on a youtube channel means. Googled it. The summarized official answer:
3 -
So we’re in a completely bugge stage of the repo and ofcourse the client goes: we want this and that functionality live today. And i can’t say no so now i have to figure out if this is a smart thing to do. I guess its not
-
When creating a new indie game with no budget start really really small. Because it will grow faster than you can say 'input mapping'.
-
When users say "An error was shown" or "It's not working" but with no further details, I feel like they hate me.4
-
There's no bug free program on earth, they say. Well show me a bug in my program
<?php echo"hello world!";?>
😂 😂6 -
I would have to say this online OCR software that I was forced into and expected to build for medical documents. The problem was the scanned documents were so unreadable, crooked, and in dot matrix style, so there was really no way to do this.4
-
can option pls override or operator
this is stupid
say no to
let branch = branch.unwrap_or(config.branch.unwrap_or("something".to_string()));
say yes to
let branch = branch || config.branch || "something".to_string();6 -
When interviewing people still ask me if I work with Eclipse. I'm Android dev, why should I ever work with that piece of sh*t of an non-IDE?
Please just don't ask for Eclipse. No sane androider uses it. I don't like to waste my life using the worst software ever made. I would even say that no one should be using it. NetBeans is better, IntelliJ is best.2 -
I'd say a car mechanic, since I'm a petrolhead. But this also will be eventually replaced by robots and AI, so no job for me...
-
I think I won't be happy if all my codes works perfect no bugs at and all, I think I'll feel like my life have no purposes or as the wizard will say the coder have no destiny , how would you feel if all your codes works every time .1
-
Quite frankly im embarrassed to say how much time i wasted having no idea why my pipeline is failing because it cant login to my aws account
3 -
Nothing prepares you for Windows deciding your program as a virus for all your thousands of users and having no idea why.
It wasn’t virus related at all. It needed a new signing with an updated certificate. Did the error say anything like that? Hell no . -
Let's test the morality of devRanters with this question:
You have to build an anti-piracy plugin that will be installed on every and I do mean every, device on this planet and it will monitor if the users are pirating any copyrighted content. If found guilty, they will be penalized by getting them thrown in jail or fined $5000 (let's say).
It's already presumed that you have the skills to get it done.
It's only you that this job is offered to, and no one else. If you say no, then this is not getting built in any way.
If you say yes, you will be paid $50 million.
Are you taking the job?32 -
Let's say you are just diplomed and got hired in a small dev company.
Let's say the company is eventually really boring, and it mainly devs with Drupal (see my profile to get my opinion about this CMS).
Let's say you leave, find a bigass society, they accept your desired pay per month, and tell you that, no, there won't be any Drupal in your future work.
Let's say that you come on monday and the first thing people ask you is to check you Drupal level, because you're going to be needed a in future projects.
What would you do?
This happened to someone who joined us this week, the dude who hired him (and no it's not a recruiter (almost sadly)) sweared him that wouldn't use Drupal, and it's been a week and he did only that. Should he just GTFO?7 -
A lot of companies are developing systems to improve the way we interact with retail stores.
Most popular trend is having no cashiers.
Can't wait for a simple and affordable system that can easily be installed at any store.
Minimize teft, save time and no judgement from cashiers. Need I say more?1 -
So is this true? Does the caste thing really follow you around outside of India or is this a Hindu thing? Because I don’t know.
https://pulitzercenter.org/reportin...6 -
I was hired to work on an Android application written in java. Spent three months working on a project written in C++ instead. Needless to say I had no prior experience with C++ at that time.
-
I have no one to argue about this with, I'm the only developer in my place of work, but I can say that the arrangement of the import statements sucks my nuts no PR is accepted just because they want to see first inbuild imports, then third party, then imports from current projects, why why why!!! that doesn't harm anyone in the world!!!! but just my time!!!3
-
I guess coding is a coping mechanism for not matching on any dating sites and hence no dates...
I guess you could say it helps me find alternative methods to release my per up desires... Although I guess a real relationship is something it can't replace... -
I just started maintaining a few AUR packages, and I got to say it's rather fun and rewarding, just to know that your responsible for making sure that something is up to date, and that no one using the package is getting anything bad.2
-
Whenever someone comes to me with an idea that will "make tons of money" i ask them if they have any concrete proof that people are interested in their idea.
If they say no, I point them to the pdf book on the downloads page of pretotyping.org1 -
Bugs: These are not bed bugs. For programmer they are a nightmare, to customer we introduce them as a new feature and say, “My software has no bug. It just develops random features.”
-
I gotta say, devRantron is awesome guys, congratulations! One issue though I'm having (it's probably not devRantron's issue) is that notifs from other Electron apps appear under devRantron in the notifications indicator on Elementary OS 😂 but no problem :)
-
I would like to know who of you actually works as a developer in backend / mobile app work in native languages? (as to say, no js) With work I mean, actually working for a real company.1
-
I gotta say that I really like Christmas trees if for no other reason than they are nearly the only type that aren’t upside-down.
🎄 -
Was really happy when I found out I was getting an XPS 15 for work, but no. After spending two weeks with it, I can honestly say it's a terrible laptop15
-
So who has absolutely no idea why they say the things they do at any point whatsoever and feels that they are not so much living but being elicited in some kind of pointless storytelling device and have been fed lines they no longer understand why they say ?
-
Why asking your dev team for any suggestions or solutions when you can easily say „make new website! Fast!“... now we have a new Website providing the exact same features as the so desired App... no further words for this.1
-
Let me just say:
Galera is bloody incredible. We had 2 out of 3 nodes crash, and it still managed to recover automatically with no downtime.
But let me also say
When it *does* fully crash... Data recovery is an _incredible_ pain in the arse.
Thank you, Galera. Wish more customers were willing to pay for 3 SQL nodes instead of just two while expecting minimal node downtime...7 -
How do you read /pronounce "x +1'd your rant / comment"?
I say masunomeó: más - uno - me - o, no Idk fonetics9 -
One must wonder how wise it was to entrust important personal data to any large corporation like Google but with apparently no oversight one might say they overstepped their bounds a tad4
-
Has anyone else had it where you get so used to saying 'no, this will never work in live as it is' that when it actually becomes pretty good, you struggle to say nice things about it?
-
Why do you ask “can you {do this/that}” when “no” is not an option? Why don’t dare dare to say “please {do this/that}”?
Yeah nah I’m still gonna say no. But fuck your hypocrisy too9 -
After 5+ years of IT working experience, I still cannot say 'no' to certain customers, even though they're morons and I know it.2
-
Started a new freelance contract.
Invited and joined slack channel.
Introduced to the PM.
PM hates me from the first second for no reason.
Doubts anything I say, he has doubt in me.
Something tells me I won't love that arogant PM too 😆 -
[INTERVIEW] Can you say what this DP approach is doing?
🤣
Get the answer: https://iq.opengenus.org/number-wit...
6 -
I know this question sounds dumb but when i google 50% say no and 50% say yes. So my question is, can i spread (a Fileless) Malware with cookies?5
-
colleague's constant whispering across whole office 😏 he won't shut up no matter what you say to him...
only music to the rescue here 🤘🎧1 -
I'm almost four years work experience and I'm still not a senior engineer.
Feeling quite sad, idk what I'm lacking. I do interviews and they give offers but say I'm not senior yet so take this role instead and I obviously say no to that (salary is even lower than current)9 -
What is software development like where you live? Would you say it's good/modern or bad/outdated?
For example, in Peru (this has a degree of truth of up to 95%):
- React isn't even a thing (nevermind RN)
- Everything uses Angular
- No Django, no Rails, no Express. Everything Laravel, CodeIgniter and .NET
- No NoSQL
- Objective-C >> Swift
- AWS? cPanel!
- No testing
Of course I focused on the "bad" part, but maybe this is what rants are for :) And I haven't said anything about salaries 😪
What about you? And please don't forget to mention your country.2 -
guys, today i was playing monopoly with my father (not gone with the milk i swear) and he was beating me, so i flipped the board. he got pissed and angry, am i the asshole?
p.s, if u say im the asshole im gonna be super mean to u so say im not but no hard feelings.6 -
Something that I think devs have to do, is say 'hell no' to their superiors. Anyone got any war stories for this? We can use the tag 'nope' to group them all?2
-
Back in school! Happy to say i'm taking classes i genuinely like, which are useful and challenge my brain.
Classes include (but aren't limited to)
SQL (and MS SQL Server, no MySQL sadly)
HTML/CSS/JS
Java2 -
Hello, I'm kinda stuck in this problem: Lets say, I want to give each of my users a dedicated IP address. How do I do it? & what's the best way to do it with python?
No need to share code, just some instructions/guideline would perfect. Thanks in advance.19 -
"rust is great it's gonna kill C and C++ and all other low-level languages" i'm still hitting undefined behavior on printing a string to console and nothing else so i'm gonna say no as it's got the same issues C has8
-
they say don't talk about the future. well the future is come and gone so technically its the past and all you people are trapping yourselves in it for no valid reason. looks like i'm going to be imprisoned in the near future
-
What's common between a wife and a client ?
Both have endless demands....
And you can't say a NO to them...
And they are never gonna satisfied... 😜3 -
Hey guys,
Would you like to join the production support team in early stage of your career ?
Let me know your thoughts.. anyways I don't have a choice to say no.9
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