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Search - "way"
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So there was an inspection from government for our bank's IT security. I gave a tour to our server and security systems. I threw all possible acronyms as much as I could remember. Inspector nodded and noted down never uttered a word.
Finally, he breaks his silence, looking at a device he points out and says "What's that ?"
I look at the device then stare at his face back again at the device and to his face I reply "That's AC, Air Conditioner".19 -
*after 2 hours of programming*
Me to me: you can watch one episode of [some series]!
Me to me after that episode: just one more couldn't hurt for once!
...............
...............
...............
*five hours later*
Me: "what am I doing with my life 😭
This happens too fucking damn often 😫11 -
Teacher: Homework for next time is to make 2 web pages with three javascript.
* whole class is quiet *
Me: What's "three JavaScript"
T: undefined
M: Do you mean three files?
T: No, I mean three JavaScript.
M: Okay, so let's go with five CSS and twelve HTML as well then...
Please, go somewhere else when you can't explain your OWN HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT. Holy fuck.16 -
I've always find it weird when people said "You never know how much you love something until it gone"
Until i broke my keyboard's Left CTRL.11 -
What the fuck is this one-way interview bullshit?
"The organization you are interviewing with has come up with a series of interview questions that they have requested you to respond to. This is an on-demand interview which means that you'll be recording your video interview answers at your convenience as long as you submit them before the deadline." -- sparkhire.com
Like seriously?
What if I have questions? I have plenty, and I find those questions considerably more important than whatever bullshit gotchas the company wants to annoy me with.
One-way interview.
Fucking really.
At least have the decency to talk to me.rant bullshit root gets angry one-way interview interviewing talk about lazy and unprofessional root swears oh my this just screams 'bad environment'36 -
One day I developed a simple website for a goldsmith who I already new for a year or so.
We discussed everything and agreed on a feature set, price and a deadline when it should be ready. Based on this we signed a contract and I started my work.
Unfortunately at the same time I lost most of my childhood friends. I moved to a new city and started to study computer science, which was awesome on the contrary.
This is where the horror began.
I was totally occupied by the studying, my partner, myself and by the shit of life.
It knocked on my door. The horror decided to pay me a visit.
"Had a look at your calendar recently? Just saying..."
Shit! The deadline came closer and closer everyday and the pile of work undone grew with it. At that point I had to do something. I don't know what it was or how I did it, but somehow I managed to finish the project just in time. I was totally not proud of it, but it featured what was required.
The day before I contacted my client, the horror knocked on my door again. He said:
"You really should have a look at your hard drive."
"Why? everything seems allright."
"Well, then look closer."
"Fuck."
"Right."
Well, there are backups at least, I thought to myself. I'll just recover the last state. That was an annoying thought, but nothing serious. That's just one or two days of w... - Wait, what? Where are my backups? What the actual fuck? Why is the zip file broken? Why doesn't the flash drive work anymore? FUUUCK!!
I was lost. It was a complete nightmare.
Each time my telephone rang the following days, my heart skipped a beat. Finally my client's name appeared on the display. I answered the call, my hands shaking.
"Hey there! I'm calling to discuss the website project with you."
"Well, about that..."
"Yeah, I know you put a huge amount of efford in it so I'm really sorry to say that I on the other hand can't effort the money. Actually I'd like to simply forget about this whole idea."
Seriously? What the fuck just happend? I suddenly noticed a sticky note infront of me reading:
"It was really fun to see you suffer, but I have to go! See ya
- The Horror"
"Hello, are you still there? Do you hear me?", yelled a voice through my phone.
"Uh, yeah. You know, that project was a lot of work and... but you know what? It was actually a pretty fun exercise and I'm doing well over here, so because it's you I'd agree."
I heared a reliefed sigh from the other end of the line.
"Really good! I owe you something! Bye!"
What. The. Fuck.14 -
OMG you guys weren't kidding. Windows 10 sucks. I finally understand why no one uses it anymore. I heard the Linux brand is very good.42
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Last day at my first job. Spent 7.3 years here.
Joined as a kid, leaving as a grown up man.
So many mixed feelings, and being an emotional person, if I were in office, I'd have surely cried.
Crazy experience. So many flashbacks all at once.8 -
Gf: Which way do you round 4.5 up or down?
Me: (int)4.5;
Gf: Ffs the proper way!
Me: Math.Round(4.5);
Gf: Fuck off.12 -
I recently had the problem with my Galaxy S8 that my camera won't focus. Searched for solution. Found one which said: "Just hit the side of your phone when the camera is on."
Problem fixed, camera focuses again.
I like this kind of problem fixing.2 -
it's funny, how doing something for ages but technically kinda the wrong way, makes you hate that thing with a fucking passion.
In my case I am talking about documentation.
At my study, it was required to write documentation for every project, which is actually quite logical. But, although I am find with some documentation/project and architecture design, they went to the fucking limit with this shit.
Just an example of what we had to write every time again (YES FOR EVERY MOTHERFUCKING PROJECT) and how many pages it would approximately cost (of custom content, yes we all had templates):
Phase 1 - Application design (before doing any programming at all):
- PvA (general plan for how to do the project, from who was participating to the way of reporting to your clients and so on - pages: 7-10.
- Functional design, well, the application design in an understandeable way. We were also required to design interfaces. (Yes, I am a backender, can only grasp the basics of GIMP and don't care about doing frontend) - pages: 20-30.
- Technical design (including DB scheme, class diagrams and so fucking on), it explains it mostly I think so - pages: 20-40.
Phase 2 - 'Writing' the application
- Well, writing the application of course.
- Test Plan (so yeah no actual fucking cases yet, just how you fucking plan to test it, what tools you need and so on. Needed? Yes. but not as redicilous as this) - pages: 7-10.
- Test cases: as many functions (read, every button click etc is a 'function') as you have - pages: one excel sheet, usually at least about 20 test cases.
Phase 3 - Application Implementation
- Implementation plan, describes what resources will be needed and so on (yes, I actually had to write down 'keyboard' a few times, like what the actual motherfucking fuck) - pages: 7-10.
- Acceptation test plan, (the plan and the actual tests so two files of which one is an excel/libreoffice calc file) - pages: 7-10.
- Implementation evalutation, well, an evaluation. Usually about 7-10 FUCKING pages long as well (!?!?!?!)
Phase 4 - Maintaining/managing of the application
- Management/maintainence document - well, every FUCKING rule. Usually 10-20 pages.
- SLA (Service Level Agreement) - 20-30 pages.
- Content Management Plan - explains itself, same as above so 20-30 pages (yes, what the fuck).
- Archiving Document, aka, how are you going to archive shit. - pages: 10-15.
I am still can't grasp why they were surprised that students lost all motivation after realizing they'd have to spend about 1-2 weeks BEFORE being allowed to write a single line of code!
Calculation (which takes the worst case scenario aka the most pages possible mostly) comes to about 230 pages. Keep in mind that some pages will be screenshots etc as well but a lot are full-text.
Yes, I understand that documentation is needed but in the way we had to do it, sorry but that's just not how you motivate students to work for their study!
Hell, students who wrote the entire project in one night which worked perfectly with even easter eggs and so on sometimes even got bad grades BECAUSE THEIR DOCUMENTATION WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH.
For comparison, at my last internship I had to write documentation for the REST API I was writing. Three pages, providing enough for the person who had to, to work with it! YES THREE PAGES FOR THE WHOLE MOTHERFUCKING PROJECT.
This is why I FUCKING HATE the word 'documentation'.36 -
I get serious anxiety when someone is doing something on a computer and I know that the way they are doing it is the slowest way possible.8
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Assembly...
Do I really need to say more? Okay, it's low level so there is no abstraction. All you deal with is cold naked mathematical truth and physical limitations.
It's still ❤️8 -
Im way to fucking dense... Today a girl tried to show me she wanted to get to know me.
I was at McDonalds to get a coffee at McCafe. Since Im a regular there I know one of the guys enough to make jokes with him. So I was talking to him while he was making my coffee. Just before he finished it a girl interrupted him with the question if she could finish it. All she had to do was draw something with caramel on top of the cream.
I thought it was kinda rude because I was talking with her colleague. She gave me the cup and I walked out after thanking her, only to realize what she had drawn after I sat on my bicycle.
She had drawn a big heart with a question mark in it. I didnt really pay attention to the girl because I was annoyed she broke of the conversation and just took my coffee and walked out.
Now Im trying to remember what she looks like so I can talk to her tomorrow, but I dont even remember her hair color..24 -
Freaking tech support.
Freaking sparkhire.
Their 'one-way interview' bs only supports flash. Flash. in production. in 2019. Flash died years ago, and its support ends next year. What the crap?
Anyway, I finally decided I should do the interview since they already have all of my information anyway. Thanks, "privacy-conscious" third party. Totally appreciate it.
I spent half an hour and couldn't get flash working on their site (but all other sites were fine), so I contacted their support. I gave them all the relevant specs (inc. ofc browser), the steps to reproduce, and all of my attempts at fixing the issue.
To their credit, I recieved a response within a few minutes. To their discredit: their response was: "What browser are you using?" This question was followed by my report (including, ofc, my browser and all the other overlooked details), immediately followed by a "debugging info" section appended by their support service that also included my browser, os, and other specs.
Learn to fucking read.
Their suggestion? Use google chrome. Barring that: record your 20-30 minute video by holding your phone in front of your face the entire time. I am so not kidding.
They also asked what page i was having difficulty on. You guessed it: the page url was also included within that "debugging info" section.
It wasn't a form letter, either. I'd understand if it was all automated, but it was a real person who was really typing up the emails, and really didn't bother reading a damned thing.
I did end up getting flash working, but their "tech support" (script-reader) was entirely useless.16 -
Him: everything is hackable, you know
Me: oh well, enlighten me with an example.
Him: well take for example whatsapp, which was bought by facebook, so if Facebook is hackable, then why not WhatsApp
Me: ok, so tell me how do you hack Facebook ?
Him: just like how you hack WhatsApp.
Me: *digs in the Bosch toolkit to find and drilling machine* How about I drill some knowledge into you? *evil jack nicholson (the shining) smile*4 -
I accidentally broke our office’s tablet device. Operations manager said it will be deducted from my salary next month.
Few weeks later, my operations manager breaks his laptops touch screen. I almost did a naked run in excitement.9 -
- implement feature
- manager suggests a different way to do it
- manager's version adds bug
- get blamed
- manager makes you implement feature the way you originally did it
..... -
Given how much I'm asked to fix my family's computers, I think I'm just going to write a script that shows a "Now fixing..." message and just restarts their system and router.
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Windows 10: if there is a way to condensate all the shit of the world into a single Operating System, Microsoft has it found that way for sure.10
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When you advise coworkers to do something one way because you know better but they do it their way anyway so this is you when shit hits the fan.
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Paraphrased conversation I saw in a space forum:
dude1: Our galaxy is moving toward a large cluster of galaxies and we don't know why.
dude2: Could it be gravity?
dude1: No gravity isn't strong enough for the distances involved.
dude3: Those galaxies are sexy as fuck. Our galaxy wants to hit that.
dude4: Is our galaxy old enough for a cluster fuck? -
Continuing someone's project mid way be like doctor performing operation, leaving it mid way and other doctor trying to continue. May the god bless the patient.1
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Finishing off an all nighter the best way I know how (well most practical because the best way isn't entirely possible lol).11
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I am a woman with multiple years of experience in the coding industry , while in most of my jobs I have been the only woman in the team and I do agree there is a need for more women in the coding industry , however I really do believe workshops like shecodes are an absolute scam , the inclusiveness to bridge the gender divide in tech needs to start from the employers , all resources to learn to code are completely gender neutral and unbiased. I also find it quite hypocritical that shecodes was founded by a man and is taught by a man . Can anyone please shine some different opinions about this or does anyone else believe a similar thing ?32
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The never ending struggle between my need to do things the right way and the way client wants them3
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!rant !!questionTime
So I’m currently looking as a side project to build a web based game using canvas / webgl possibly, I don’t really want to take up iOS/Android dev to do this.
This is a new field for me being mostly a ecommerce guy rather then game dev, so I was wondering if anyone out there knows off a good starting point and decent frameworks to get me going.
I came across
http://phaser.io/
and it seems at a surface level semi suitable.
I’m not looking at doing anything overly complex, basically drag drop functionality for the interaction to navigate a sprite around mazes at a top-down level with I guess collision detection for when you turn the wrong way.9 -
Recently, my CS teacher proudly bragged about how, to this day, no pupil has ever had WiFi Access to the school network (only teachers have access).
What a naive teacher he is ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)5 -
That feeling when lead dev hid a couple of really secret bugs for you, and then left for vacation... *cough* @BinaryProvider 😉3
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Why the fuck does Apple hate developers so much? I just want to test and play around a bit. Why do I have to own a fucking Mac? Why do I need to pay 99$ a year just to install a debug build on my own device?! It's literally impossible to get into ios development without being rich or having some kind of plan for revenue...
Testing my app on Android:
Install Android studio -> plug in phone -> run code in Android Studio or simply install the resulting apk on your phone.
Trying to test my app on my iPad:
Google how to build app for iPad -> reading that you have to own a Mac to run xcode when you want to build Code for iOS -> searching for a workaround -> find a way to build my app online -> setting the tool and building it -> Trying out 5 different tools to sideload the app, no one works -> finding out that you need a developer account to sign the app for testing purposes on MY OWN DEVICE. I really would appreciate it if I would be able to install personal stuff for testing and LEARNING without being forced into insolvency. Why are people putting up with this kind of bullshit?18 -
Is it just me or what. I had begun learning web development (but prefer C, shell scripting, Linux... ).
One thing that amazes me - besides having to learn 1356367626785576 technologies to get something done and the fact we get a fresh new amazing framework every 0.00000000000234 seconds - is CSS.
Amazing, I made a navigation bar where I wanted the items to be displayed in the horizontal position, so I
.navbar li, a {display:inline-block}
Works fine.
Next day I'm doing the same from scratch, doesn't fucking work. I look the previous design, HTML structure looks identical, I only use a different font face and colors.
After a while I randomly decided to put a <div> around the a element in order to do something else, update the page and... Voilá, text is in line.
Like... Wtf.
I'm like fuck it. No way I want to work with this shit, let's go back to shell.6 -
Dude, publish your damn dataset with your damn ML study!!!! I'm not even asking for your Godforsaken model!
😡😡🗡️🗡️⚔️🔫🔫🏹🔨4 -
This year, Lord willing...
* get married
* take a one week honeymoon without a single frantic phone call/email/IM from work or clients. Way way harder than getting married!2 -
Nothing interesting. Just 11 GB ram using and increases steadily. After restart app the bug was again. Okaaay, I thought. I reboot my PC, but bug was adamant. Well, then I update phpStorm and everything became fine. Ok, JetBrains, good idea to say user about new release version and make update:) Seriously, it works fine. I think every company should adopt this idea:)8
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Coding style influence:
Me: Did it work?
-looks like it worked-
Me: THIS IS THE WAY!
Someone else: Yeah but that -
Me: THIS IS THE WAY!1 -
here's one for ya: we devlop, use and sell a crm with extensive project managment, task assignemt and time tracking modules in it.
It is the main income ofbthe company.
Yet somehow we're still required to send an email with status update at the end of the week.
FFS i don't remember what i did on monday and all the 100 micro tasks that jumped in between.
That will take me an hour to gather the info and write an email that software automaticaly sends out everyday to PM anyway. :((1 -
So a server goes down and being the only person who can recover it, I get started, whilst doing this the boys sits right next to me (6 inches) and starts asking what caused the problem instead of letting me get on and fix it, then complains the outage was too long.
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I just want to say,
wow the Cloudflare API is awesome.
In less then an hour (from a blank file - to automation and tested) I was able to setup a DDNS task that basically just pulls my public ip (see https://devrant.com/rants/2050450/... for details) comparing it to the current DNS records for and update them if anything has changed in the past 30 minutes.
So kudos to these guys letting me in next to no time having a simple yet elegant way of dealing with my missing static ip.
Why can’t all APis be this simple?3 -
No matter how many stackOverflow threads you study or how many resources you have, experience is really what makes a very good developer3
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Rant from a previous gig I just remembered that reignited my fury lol
Suddenly, CSV exports became massively critical to our product's success. "They were always part of the plan, if we don't have them the product is a failure". Plot twist, they were NOT always part of the plan. And our backend is not at all designed for querying the combinations of data you're asking for.
Nevermind we've been entirely focused these last few months on making the new user experience as slick as possible because "our customers want cake, not meat and potatoes". Forget the fact that, in order to meet the deadlines, my team coupled the backend a little too much with the needs of the frontend because otherwise integrations took too long. We NEED fucking CSV exports of everything you can fucking imagine.
No. Fuck you. If you want it, it's gonna take at least 2 engineers and a month, and according to you we only have a few weeks of runway. No, I'm not compromising jack shit, this is the reality we live in. This is going to go nuclear in production if we don't do it right. Either give us the month and bankrupt the company, or fucking drop it.
Or...you could go cry to the frontend team for solutions. And convince them to page through ALL of the data and generate CSVs in the fucking browser. Sure, it sort of works in QA with the miniscule amount of data we have there, but how'd that work out for you in prod?
Jesus fucking christ why are you people such incompetent morons, and how the fuck did you become executives??2 -
endor's first magical adventures with PostgreSQL
"Alright, got the docker image up and running, and I'm connected to the db, both from console and from Datagrip! Cool, let's get started with the tutorial!"
*cue montage of me using Datagrip to create my first schema, then the first table, then insert a bunch of data to try things out*
"Cool, now let's see if I can view my data from the console"
db1-# select * from my_schema.table1
db1-# [nothing]
"*Ahem*, I said:"
db1-# select * from my_schema.table1
db1-# [nothing]
db1-# select * from my_schema.table1
db1-# [cricket noises]
"Wut, why can't I see the data that I inserted? Wtf is going on?"
*30 minutes later*
"Alright, I have no idea what's going on, so let's try inserting the data from console and see if Datagrip can see it"
db1-# insert into my_schema.table1(id, name, field2, field3) values (1, 'Mike', null, 123), (2, 'Jake', 0, 456);
ERROR: syntax error at or near "SELECT"
LINE 2: SELECT
^
"Wait, what?"
db1-# insert into my_schema.table1(id, name, field2, field3) values (1, 'Mike', null, 123), (2, 'Jake', 0, 456);
INSERT 0 2
"Wtf? Haaang on... "
db1-# select * from my_schema.table1;
id | name | field2 | field3
----+------+--------+--------
1 | Mike | | 123
2 | Jake | 0 | 456
1 | Mike | | 123
2 | Jake | 0 | 456
(4 rows)
*eye twitches*4 -
Honestly?
No way.
No matter what you give up for your family and friends.
It's never enough.
"You're always tired"
"You're not interested enough in my/our stuff"
"No wonder you won't proceed with your carrier, when you act like that"
C'mooooooon!
Give me a chance to build up a regular life.
Most Ppl = Egotistical piles of crap.
Sorry for this dark rant :/2 -
Here's an idea: starting my own botfarm to automatically downvote obnoxious adbots that simply won't stop tickling our collective fucking testicle sax with unrequited love stories and crypto bullshit.
To detect the sheeit, just look for idiot giving contact info in a rant about hacking the device of your unfaithful spouse/treacherous cyber girlfriend who also ran a bitcoin scam and fucked you in the ass with a welding torch. That should do the trick, I can give you that power with a perl script, because fuck you that's why.
But since there is no moderation in this bitch, daring to offer me sufficient knowledge to the inner workings of such a construct would be exceptionally perilous to your asshole. That is to say, nothing could then stop me from redirecting said botfarm to target my enemies and anally assault their every rant and comment.
Indubitably, this would in turn quickly spiral into digital warfare of cyberfeudal lords pitting their automated fake accounts against each other. Millions will die. Upside being hexical gets to pull the plug without guilt.
What do you say? Should we begin the apocalypse?19 -
Last week: "let's build this page this way!"
Me: styles page
One day later: "no, that's build the wrong way, let's build it this other way!"
-_-' -
Was watching a video tutorial narrated by a south asian guy(am not racist). Middle of the tutorial, he burped. I rewind the video to confirm if he actually did that. Mofo literally burped.
Now i feel stupid that I rewind to hear that.11 -
Finally found a quite reliable way of generating mbtiles 'archives' for tile hosting!
Now I yet have to find a reliable way to fucking actually HOST it and a way to get it fucking displayed.
Spend my entire goddamn day on this and I'm hardly a step closer, for fucks sake.2 -
Developer: we are going o have to do it this way because it's the only way I can get it to work.
Other developer: what are you on about that's a easy thing to do you should not be doing it that way you idiot are you thick or something! do it this way the correct blah blah way, "let me show you moron (says out loud to everyone in the office) to show how superior and awesome they are"......
Two hours later, "yes we will have to do it your way in the end, my way doesn't work"
I fucking told you that 2 hours ago. Some people just don't believe lol #timewasted1 -
"You don’t think your way to creative work. You work your way to creative thinking." - George Nelson
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I always challenged myself to explain my work in a very approachable way. Everyone knows what I do and in a way how IT works 🎉3
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Being made redundant from my first dev job this morning.
Might as well make it a positive thing though! I've now got time for a few side projects and open source contributions!1 -
If a lot of people are programming something a certain way, should a person also program it the same way?3
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Updating Oxygen OS....
1. WARNING: You will lose root.... OK
2. Fastboot TWRP
3, Install TWRP
4. Flash Magisk
5. Restart
6. Reinstall xposed from Magisk Installer
7. Restart
10. Re-enable Gravitybox in xposed
11. Restart
All done... did i do something wrong?7 -
You gotta know the box to think out of the box, said the Dropbox fanatic while syncing his local Git folders to share with the team.
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I hate it when framework doesn't behave the way it should (or I didn't code it the way it's meant to), though in example it works the way it should.1
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Why does it take 3 interview stages to get a 3-month internship...
That's ignoring the personalised CV, resume and cover letter for each one as well.
Can't imagine the fun of getting an actual job!!8 -
The annual end of year meeting that takes a 3 day offsite so we can list 21 new enterprise projects to be completed the upcoming year - hehe 😅
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Learn the hard way:
Episode 1:
Struggled 4 hours building my package. Some dependent package was failing build. Tried everything and atlast, contacted that package developer. He checked and said: "It seems it's broken. You can use v1.1 instead."
Lesson learnt: Sometimes, it's better to ask instead of banging your head and debugging things out. -
Awkward, but the only possible way.
Either I didnt figure it out or shame at Apple, this is not a good way to handle this. -
A new YouTube (AI) tool by google for battling misinformation failed in a highly public way on Monday, wrongly linking video of the flaming collapse of the spire at Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris to the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks.
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Stepping through the source code of a no-code-graphical-programming-tool (or however you call that) to understand why my stuff isn't doing its thing or at least see what it wants from me.
Very intuitive1 -
i swear to GOD i am so fucking productive, happy, full of life, thankful to live, WAY MORE PRODUCTIVE, WAY MORE NORMAL, WAY MORE PHYSICALLY BEAUTIFUL, WAY MORE MENTALLY STABLE, i get WAY MORE SHIT DONE, i appreciate people, i help people, i ACTUALLY BECOME SUCCESSFUL, i am actually WILLING TO LEARN ADVANCED SHIT THAT ARE BEYOND MY UNDERSTANDING *BECAUSE* IT IS SOMETHING I ENJOY TO FUCKIN DO, WAY MORE FUCKIN POSITIVE, WAY MORE FUCKIN SOCIAL, all of this --- when i do NOT fucking study or go to the fucking cuckold college.....5
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I’m 15 and I love programming and electronics and I need a way to earn some money in some way even if a small amount, so if anyone knows or advises some kind of way to use my skills to earn money I’d like to know. Thank you.10
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The 'hamburger menu' is now like, and industry standard for basic UX everywhere.
Am I the only one who feels that it in its entirety, sucks?
the way iPhone implements its commands on the bottom or the way windows used to (before it gave in to hamburgers in UWP) implement charms was a way more efficient and elegant way to show commands..
I cant think of a better way without sacrificing screen space, but this for sure isn't the best way to handle commands.6 -
When developers see everything the way it could be rather than the way it is - sort of on a slant. Opens up lots of opportunities.
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Future01
Click, click, click, click.
Tap, tap, tap, tap.
Swipe, swipe, swipe, swipe,.
Scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll.
I’m tired of living on popularity driven planet among animals, where number of clicks on likes, subscriptions and links are worth more than iq, education and experience.
Let’s face it - AI is showing us traffic driven recommendations that sucks. If you’re hooked up to social network and can’t disconnect from it you’re half way to matrix. You probably also disagree with me cause you’re serotonin junkie. You can’t stop like you can’t stop eating for a day. Bubble have you in your hands and whatever you do you probably won’t wake up. To be honest most of us won’t. It’s already to late.
I’m waiting for meta so they can put you in virtual world where you can have what you want and at the same time own nothing. They will put you in some small empty space and give you something to eat how many times you want so you can feel safe and click, tap, swipe, scroll more so they can own this planet.
You will be living only to deliver corporate metadata and you will be happy, cause they will make you happy with giving you emotions that you want to feel at exact moment.
If you get out, you won’t be able to interact cause you won’t know how to behave, you will become wild animal.
By going out you will break the law, cause outside world will be long gone. To move to bar or visit family you will travel with autonomous vehicle that have screens instead of windows.
Eventually you stop going to bar cause it’s unhealthy, you stop going outside cause there’s deadly virus and you can die.
They will take you last thing later with birth control so you can have baby whenever you want and with who you want as long as both parties agree by signing baby nft contract, you don’t have to take care of your baby and be pregnant cause it will be robotized, you will see your baby in meta. You will think you feel it using robot hands.
You will never meet your baby in person.
That’s how matrix will start. We’re half way.6 -
I was thinking about the problems one of our clients faced with the launch of their project the other day, because things were rushed, stuff was omitted and in the end they could not meet the launch date, and I started making a list of hard lessons I learned over the years that would have helped them avoid this situation.
Feel free to add yours in the comments.
- Never deploy on Friday
- Never make infrastructure changes right before a launch
- Always have backups. Always!
- Version control is never optional
- A missed deadline is better than a failed launch
- If everything is urgent, nothing is important
- Fast and cheap, cheap and quality, quality and fast. Only one pair at a time can be achieved
- Never rush the start or the end of a project
- Stability is always better that speed
- Make technical decisions based on the needs of the project two years from now
- Code like you will be the only maintainor of the project two years from now. You probably will...
- Always test before you deploy
- You can never have too many backups (see above)
- Code without documentation is a tool without instructions
- Free or famous does not necessarily mean useful or good
- If you need multiple sentences to explain a method, you should probably refactor
- If your logic is checked beforehand, writing the code becomes way easier
- Never assume you understand a request the first time around. Always follow up and confirm
There are many more that should be on this list, but this is what came to mind now.2 -
I've never made crepe pancakes in a microwave before....
But when your pancake matter is too liquid and you don't have any flour to fix it nor a flat pancake and your kiddo is hangry - you've gotta engineer your way out.14 -
What technology/concept/programming language did you learn that made you feel way way more brilliant?
Me: Shell scripting, feel like god 😌18 -
!rant
The new end to the idiotic code snippet head scratchers interviews (awkward for both parties but nobody is willing to admit it)?
Hometasks.
Infinite internet access, use whatever tools you want, do as much as you can in 2-3 hours.
The best non-toxic way to see how someone works as a dev.
This is the way I expect you to work, so this is the way I will interview you.
Sorry silicon valley, we don't need people who can write up a binary search algo from rote memory.3 -
Can't even find a proper way to learn android app development.. Some tutorials are way too basic and others way too advanced.. Even books arent of much help to me... I know the basics... How do i learn further :/ How do i code without having to look at some example every time ://9
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That's like saying if there's a soccer (or football for non-Americans) game that's 3-2, then there's 6 goals scored. Step up your math google.16
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Generic arguments can't be cast. List<Dog> can't be cast to List<Animal>, because any methods that take Dog as an argument would suddenly have to work with an Animal (same works the other way round with return values).
But there are many situations where this would be okay. For instance, a Date can be cast to a String, so if we know that no method directly or indirectly accessible from a ListView<T> (including accessible property and field setters) will ever take an argument of type T, then ListView<Date> can be cast to a ListView<String>. Conversely, if we know that methods of StreamWriter will only ever take arguments of the generic type and interact in ways that don't change the object, then we can safely cast a StreamWriter<String> to a StreamWriter<Date>.
There could be a pair of generic constraints signifying that the type only crosses the interface boundary in one direction. I think this would be an interesting feature, but I don't know any strict type system that allows it. What do you think?25 -
The way of the code warrior is no match against the way of the wife...
...unless, wife is a developer as well :)1 -
DevRant should have a questions and awenser in the more tab so when people have question about DevRant, jobs and other things other people could awenser, I belive that is a good way from keeping rants and memes in a place and Q&A in other place2
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Excel plus CSV into word with mail merge into outlook to send.
Lovely integration.
I wanted to do it the hard way.
Postgresql database + python script.
I have no idea what I'm doing, but isn't that the best way to learn?1 -
i learned the hard way the best way to finish a project is to do it alone
notice how i said exclusively the word finish1 -
Me: Hey, that modification though it will fix the issue, it will add a lot of tech debt in the future.
Lead CoWorker: We'll take care of that when that happens.
Guess who's fixing that TODAY? -
I've just discovered by accident that the dumbest way of solving the Hash Code practice problem is way better than my previous solution.
(medium 49509, big 897164)4 -
I remember few years back when I had subscribed to this ISP, where few months on subscription worked flawlessly. Then it was all downwards from there. Customer care never answered. Charged for bloddy whole month whilst the working was just for 2 weeks. People subscribing to this ISP had a facebook group named ISP Victim. Was forced to change my ISP.
Now, few days back they put up a stall in an IT exhibition. I went up and signed in for their service. Now they call me for setting up their network, either i tell them am not available or dont answer at all. I do the same to them what they did to me. That utmost pleasure HAHA. I shared this idea in the facebook group and people are starting to do the same.
I feel like a con artist now. -
Aaaaaaaah. I just spent way too long trying to understand kivy. I enjoy backend stuff way more than front-end.1
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The whole class is approaching me to solve the assignment coding problems, in addition to it our professor is changing the way we code as i insisted him. I don't know if this is the result of my past sleepless nights.
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Redux is absolute fucking insanity. There is no way in hell there isn't a better way to do this. Absolutely unintelligible, convoluted piece of garbage.5
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"We are a very solid development team. Come, young programming Padawan, and we will show you the Way..."
Oops, sorry, I was daydreaming. -
When agile is everywhere (including toilets). Do you want me to poop in agile way? 💩💩
What can be the agile way of shitting?2 -
Throw out or minimize paper tests and teach primarily through projects and the tools and libraries that are actually used.
You can still do the theory, there’s merit to it, but I wish I’d had more experience in my classes with the things employers are actually looking for. -
PM: let's show customer the new feature while it's still in the develop branch
Me: no fucking way this could ever happen -
Trying to make my first genetic algorithm program "to be or not to be" in javascript.... (coming from java and experimenting a bit)
Can't even get past instantiating a function/class Gene.js file into the main.js file. -_-
I got a long way to go...1 -
Is there any fun ways to learn code? I'm talking about smth like CodeCombat but it is so childish...4
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Work to clients specs, sign off the job. Three months later they email asking why things are the way they are.. because they asked for it that way!
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You wanna know what my problem with chatgpt is? It's that it cannot form a FUCKING OPINION.
I have a few guesses on how that can be sorted, but peeps who are already afraid of AI will freak the fuck out when it starts saying "in my opinion..." LOL.
Also, did they ban the thing from making predictions? Like, simple probability. It can't do. 🫤40 -
I don't know why I always take the hard way when I have an easy way to do something and when I failed then I doubt myself.1
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I made the mistake my first year as a programmer to start sim racing. It was a disaster. I was continuing staring at a screen. The next step was buing woods and knifes for woodcarving. Still a disaster. It was demanding the same concentrations in very small pieces for my eyes, just like code. Now, i learned. I get a motorcycle and i hope riding soon. I believe it is the ultimate anti-stress activity. Nothing to do with high speeds, just the feeling of riding, and doing something not mentally2
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When you're working in visual studio and trying to look through the suggested uses of an object and fucking shit keeps popping up all over the screen to tell what type things are and shit and you're just like "get the fuck out of the way I can't see shit you useless cunt fuck."
Visual studio buddy. You're killing me.2 -
!rant "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
I'm learning Java/Android Development with the Udacity Nanodegree (hey we all gotta start somewhere). Got to one project that was intended just to demonstrate use of basic form elements in a static quiz. Predicted time was about 20m I think.
Three days, much hair pulling, and many SO pages later I've built a little app that displays any number and type of question, dynamically generating the views.
I may do things the hard way, but I learn a heck of a lot more for doing so. -
A guy who thought the only way to access data was through a relational data base and the only way to access a data base from java was JPA
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Oh for fucks sake! Why so we have threading when we synchronize EVERYTHING with a singleton... and when I actually show you that even unthreaded spaghetti code runs 40% faster under real life conditions than your shit you just brush it of because I'm still at university and don't know what I'm talking about... And not because changing it would require money or time we don't have... no, just because I “lack the necessary experience with such things.“
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If a project's structure is shit, well of course, let's continue using it because "it is known". Doing it any other way "will add complexity".
That I wasted three days making my working code adhere to the clusterfuck of a structure, nevermind that. Let's continue. And yes, colleagues do agree that the structure is shit, though let's improve it ... later.
Or in other words: Suck it up, we always have done it this way. Fuck you and your ill-advised attempts of trying to improve it. -
An engineer's clinging focus on the dualistic right and wrong will prevent them from seeing the middle way, the way of the solution, the way of balance between all trade-offs.2
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A lot of us get imposter syndrome in this industry. I still get it on a regular basis.
You can't wait until things are perfect. You have to launch imperfectly, but with confidence that you'll get where you need to be. But then imposter syndrome sets in. Self doubt tells us we don't belong.
I found this quote in my email pile this morning:
"Isn't doing your best all you can do? Dropping the narrative of the impostor isn't arrogant, it's merely a useful way to get your work done without giving into Resistance. Time spent fretting about our status as impostors is time away from dancing with our fear, from leading and from doing work that matters." - Seth Godin -
good evening devs,
any suggestions/tips, on how to learn more efficiently, more effectively, more structured?
Recently, after school/work, my discipline to learn is lost a bit..
Because, watching tutorials or reading, while programming the shown, isn't the right thing for me.
I need definitely much more practice , to keep shit in my brain.
Maybe i need ideas? small projects and then make it bigger and bigger?
How do you learn?
Whats your way to practice?1 -
Nugget starting tomorrow. Full of energy and hope... I'm not sure whether to treat her the way Picard treated Wesley, or the way Sergeant Hartman treated Pyle...
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Getting used to C++.... Jesus those syntaxes.... you can write it so or so or this way... also this way.... did i mentioned this?!1
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Fingers -- what are you doing? You don't need the extra typing practice. Just use copy+paste already!
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Can anyone suggest me a way to store and perform CRUD operation on 10billion x 10 billion matrix. Is there any way possible?8
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The only way I’ll be happy is if every politician’s house is destroyed by a tomahawk missle💣
The only way I’ll be happy is if I live in forest with unlimited Percocets💊
The only way I’ll be happy is if I bathed in a river of chocolate pistachios and wintergreen zyns🍫
The only way I’ll be happy is if Sid the IT guy posts a pic of his Lucious titties😩
The only way I’ll be happy is if I go inside of bill murray freaky Friday style👴🏻
The only way I’ll be happy is if I think God is actually real🙏
The only way I’ll be happy is if I get to wear the skin of my favorite celebrity 😍
The only way I’ll be happy is if I hold hands with Morena Baccarin as I watch the world literally go up in a gigantic fireball 🇺🇸
The only way I’ll be happy is if I take acid and 5 Benadryls and take in my live action horror film that is my life 🎥
The only way I’ll be happy is if I take gas station dick pills and huff gasoline and start as many fights as possible 🤺
Share on bible.com if you agree 😔3 -
What would be the best way to basically make a "visual poll" that takes clicks from users and calculates a "final score" for a website.
I've never really done something like this before...4 -
been using Manjaro KDE (arch) - it feels way better than windows. Linux has certainly come a long way.3
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"You don’t think your way to creative work. You work your way to creative thinking." - George Nelson