Got this from a recruiter:

We are looking for a **Senior Android Developer/Lead** at Philadelphia PA

Hiring Mode: Contract

Must have skills:

· 10-12 years mobile experience in developing Android applications
· Solid understanding of Android SDK on frameworks such as: UIKit, CoreData, CoreFoundation, Network Programming, etc.
· Good Knowledge on REST Ful API and JSON Parsing
· Good knowledge on multi-threaded environment and grand central dispatch
· Advanced object-oriented programming and knowledge of design patterns
· Ability to write clean, well-documented, object-oriented code
· Ability to work independently
· Experience with Agile Driven Development
· Up to date with the latest mobile technology and development trends
· Passion for software development- embracing every challenge with a drive to solve it
· Engaging communication skills

My response:

I am terribly sorry but I am completely not interested in working for anyone who might think that this is a job description for an Android engineer.

1. Android was released in September 2008 so finding anyone with 10 years experience now would have to be a Google engineer.
2. UIKit, CoreData, CoreFoundation are all iOS frameworks
3. Grand Central Dispatch is an iOS mechanism for multithreading and is not in Android
4. There are JSON parsing frameworks, no one does that by hand anymore

Please delete me from your emailing list.

Friend: *deletes something from the internet*
"Thank god, now it's gone forever!"

Me: *Laughs in French*
"Hahahaha!"

Friend: "What?"

Me: "No, I'm pretty sure almost everything you put on the internet stays on the internet."

Friend: "ARE YOU STUPID??! The button says fucking DELETE. What else would it to do? Please use your brain for once."

Me: "You realize that text in the button is just a string right?"

Friend: *Looks confused*
"Stop trying to be such a smartass. Why would it be called 'delete' if it doesn't delete? Your logic make no sense whatsoever."

Me: *Makes quick simple app in order to prove my point*

App has 4 buttons:

-Play Music: Shows a picture of a dog

-Stop Music: Starts playing music video of Never gonna give you up

-Close App: Changes the interface to a random color

-Delete App: Pop up that says "The app has been deleted"

Friend: *Installs and tries the app*
"Dude! Did you even test your app before sending me?? Your buttons are broken as hell. None of them works. They all do things they're not supposed to do. How do you even call yourself a programmer? Sorry dude, nothing personal but this app sucks."

Me: *I need a new friend*
*sigh*

Don't forget the WHERE in the DELETE FROM.

Little Hack
It annoys me whenever I encounter a website like quora which hides the real content with a overlay and a pop up to sign in. Little do they know I just delete the overlay element from the Dom 😁😁.
Who else does this?

Sometime it feels like I'm surrounded with idiots.

Got a Ticket:

Support: Please delete installation ABC from Server D.

Me: Checks everything. Installation is on Server E. Asks if this is correct?

Support: Just follow the instructions!

Me: Okey dokey. If you want me to be a hammer the installation is a nail... Drop database, Remove all files. nuke K8s resources

Support: Why did you delete the installation ABC? You should delete XYZ!

Me: Cause the ticket told to delete ABC on Server D and YOU told me to follow your instructions!

Support: Yeah but we just reused an old ticket. We wanted XYZ deleted!

It's not a big deal I can restore the shit but I hate it if a day starts with this kind of shit!

Friend : "I can't take it when people don't delete old downloaded shortcuts from their desktop"
Me as a programmer:

My experience with Adobe...
(I recently moved to Canada)

Me: I want to give you money. (Tries to pay with Canadian card)

Adobe: Sorry, you have a US account, you must use a US card.

Me: Okay, what are my options to pay with my Canadian card?

Adobe: We have to delete your US account and create a Canadian one.

Me: Okay... Why can't you just switch the country from US to Canada on my account?

Adobe: *bullcrap response*

Me: Okay, delete it and transfer everything.

*Kicks me out of the chat.
*I log back in. Try to reconnect to customer service chat.

Adobe: AdobeID unable to participate in chat.

*I'm 30 minutes into this ordeal

Me: (to myself) I could literally torrent this program in 5 minutes 🤔

Lesson: if a company wants people to not torrent their software make it easier for a willing fucking customer to buy your software!

Since the chat doesn't work anymore, I called customer service and am still on hold.... 😤😤😤

Why does the internet have borders?

when i worked in IT, some coworkers told me to install some stuff in the "happy" and delete some files from the "surprised". I spend several days confused, until they explained me... Idk if they are idiots or geniuses.

happy disk (C:)
surprised disk (D:)

maybe they were both.

My biggest dev blunder. I haven't told a single soul about this, until now.

👻👻👻👻👻👻

So, I was working as a full stack dev at a small consulting company. By this time I had about 3 years of experience and started to get pretty comfortable with my tools and the systems I worked with.

I was the person in charge of a system dealing with interactions between people in different roles. Some of this data could be sensitive in nature and users had a legal right to have data permanently removed from our system. In this case it meant remoting into the production database server and manually issuing DELETE statements against the db. Ugh.

As soon as my brain finishes processing the request to venture into that binary minefield and perform rocket surgery on that cursed database my sympathetic nervous system goes into high alert, palms sweaty. Mom's spaghetti.

Alright. Let's do this the safe way. I write the statements needed and do a test run on my machine. Works like a charm 😎

Time to get this over with. I remote into the server. I paste the code into Microsoft SQL Server Management Studio. I read through the code again and again and again. It's solid. I hit run.

....

Wait. I ran it?

....

With the IDs from my local run?

...

I stare at the confirmation message: "Nice job dude, you just deleted some stuff. Cool. See ya. - Your old pal SQL Server".

What did I just delete? What ramifications will this have? Am I sweating? My life is over. Fuck! Think, think, think.

You're a professional. Handle it like one, goddammit.

I think about doing a rollback but the server dudes are even more incompetent than me and we'd lose all the transactions that occurred after my little slip. No, that won't fly.

I do the only sensible thing: I run the statements again with the correct IDs, disconnect my remote session, and BOTTLE THAT SHIT UP FOREVER.

I tell no one. The next few days I await some kind of bug report or maybe a SWAT team. Days pass. Nothing. My anxiety slowly dissipates. That fateful day fades into oblivion and I feel confident my secret will die with me. Cool ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I do tech support for our platform for real estate agents. Today I got a call from a user saying she can't find her files.

Me: "are you logged into the platform?"

Her: "Yes, but I hate this whole technology thing. Why is it so complicated and unintuitive"

Me: "which part exactly, we welcome feedback"

Her: "when I download my pictures from your site, I don't see them on the desktop..."

Me: "...ummm... have you checked your 'downloads' folder?"

After 5 minutes of explaining how to get to it...

Her: "you see, this is exactly what I mean, why does it have to be so unintuitive... your web site is poorly designed"

😑🔫

Should I just delete her "FREE" account?

The superpower to perform version control on reality. (Git)

Imagine this universe (the current branch), which is made up of a series of events (commits).

Having this ability to allows us to:

- undo events (git reset/git revert)
- reorder events (git rebase)
- transfer to another universe (git checkout)
- derive a new universe from current universe (git checkout -b)
- delete a universe (git branch -D)
- apply an event from another universe (git cherry-pick)

and my favorite:
- merge universes and their events (git merge)

we have to resolve conflicting events, of course.

What else? ;)

IntelliJ IDEA just saved my ass!
I tried deleting a resource file I had staged, but not commited yet.
A dialog comes up asking to delete alternative configs with "Yes" as the default.
Boom! After I braindead hit the enter key all other files vanished too!
I checked Git and saw to my horror that the files were also not tracked anymore.
I hastly lookup the last backup timestamp - an hour ago - fuuuuu!
I just lost about an hour of work.
I was about to give up and start from scratch when I look at the edit menu in my IDE.
Turns out you can actually undo multiple file deletions!
Kudos to the girls and boys at JetBrains! You saved the day! 😙

HR: Sorry, we're a family here but we have to let you go.

Engineer: Okay.

The End.
----

*DELETE FROM employees WHERE 1=1;*

Site (I didn't build) got hacked, lots of data deleted, trying to find out what happened before we restore backup.

Check admin access, lots of blank login submissions from a few similar IPs. Looks like they didn't brute force it.

Check request logs, tons of requests at different admin pages. Still doesn't look like they were targeting the login page.

We're looking around asking ourselves "how did they get in?"

I notice the page with the delete commands has an include file called "adminCheck".

Inside, I find code that basically says "if you're not an admin, now you are!" Full access to everything.

I wonder if the attack was even malicious.

I read a story about a guy from Greece who wants to delete his gender from his id and my first thought was how many 20 year-old government database schemas that is going to mess up.

I just came to delete my gmail account from when I was 12-13. I haven't touched it in years. There was a video where someone needed tech-related help, so I helped them, and I think that's where this person found me...

"Hacker."

I just want to say FUCK YOU to the guy who had the great Idea of putting the EDIT button 10 pixels away from the DELETE button on this internal batch processing scheduler tool.

manager (not technical) : we need to add blocking feature to our social media.
me : adding block feature will take 2 weeks developing.
manager (not technical) : why it takes too much time to develop you can just delete the user from the database if a user blocked him.
me : hahahaha ... just ... delete ...
manager (not technical): ...
me : hahahhahahhaha.....
....

FUCKING HELL
My sister has that Vaio laptop from 2012 and she wanted me to "clean it up"... You get the deal. I ran the bios and booted it up from my external SSD setup so I don't have to bother with her bloody Windows fucking 7. When I'm finished deleting some garbage she managed to accumulate on her disk I wanted to switch back to Windows to properly uninstall bloatware she had. AND THEN OT FUCKING STRUCK ME. Can't load bios. F keys don't do shit. Delete doesn't either. The bloody "ASSIST" button is as useless as always. Since the computer is so slow I'm gonna waste a whole day trying to fix it and in the end she will be like: "oh, it took you so long!". Why Vaio, why can't you just get over the fact that some people actually use BIOS and make it somehow ACCESSIBLE? It's the same shit every time I try to do anything with that laptop. I'm always getting shit on from Sony as if I paid them to fuck me. One last time. VAIO, FUCK YOU.

Google sucks!
No, not as e-mail or for privacy reasons. Sure, that too, but it comes with "free" stuff.

It sucks because it's breaking every possible record in the worst, shittiest, most insanely stupid APIs and integrations out there on the entire fucking planet!

It is comically stupid!

Aside from their LOVE of hard-deprecating APIs every few months, requiring constant, time consuming maintenance of every tool that integrates deeply with Google services, some of their APIs, for expensive stuff, look like they've been written by Bobby McFartface from 7th grade.

Take a look at DoubleClick Search (their ad performance reporting tool, that sure does sound like one). To upload custom, additional data, you must pass in a ton of parameter, and they REQUIRE some of them to have a specific, hardcoded value. What's the point in passing that parameter then you dickheads?!
But fine, so you uploaded some stuff using the API. Now you want to delete everything and try again after you fixed a bug - well you fucking CAN'T! You can't delete stuff, you can only mark them as "deleted" using an update call.
Bulk operations? Fuck no!
Can I just add on top? Well of course not! That will raise a ton of exceptions. Same message should be transmitted using the PUT, not POST request, in order to edit.
Can I send everything to PUT? Of course not! You can't edit something that's not there, dummy!

Can I see what's there so that I can update it, and add what's missing?
Well of course not! Why on Earth would you need to see what information is in there after you uploaded it? Who needs that anyway?

Simply send, pray, and hope that everything will be fine (it will not).

Like holy fucking crap, it can't get any more stupid!
Google is a huge pile of idiots who feed on only a single cow - the search engine.

It's times like these when I think that Google right now is the worst thing that exists for everyone in tech. It's dragging everyone down with their monopolies everywhere and complete idiocy in managing them.

Cleaned up my email and deleted 45k emails and unsubscribed from ~80+ services and added ~100+ filters to sort and auto-delete new emails. Now I have no unread messages.

*PM on drugs*

PM: The destination list on our Infinity Rider app is not updating even after the user changes their pickup location.

Me: ???

PM: Infinity App not updating after pick up point change.

Me: Not really sure what you mean... Can I get a screen record?

PM: {{sends screen record}}

PM: You see it's showing results of old search. Not good!!!

Me: {{Watch media half way through and saw the obvious}}

Me: Results on available destination are relative to the user's current location and not the pickup address.

PM: Why would that be? Not good enough!

Me: You actually requested that implementation after I had previously made the destination recommendation list relative to selected pickup address.

PM: Please revert immediately!!!

Me: Hmmm... You told me the reason why that implementation was needed was to prevent users from selecting interstate addresses because they could.

PM: Ooh true. You can leave as is.

PM: {{proceeds to delete all older messages but last}}

Me: (⊙_⊙)

{{ 4 hours later }}

PM: I think we need to look into this implementation a second time.

Refactored a legacy source file and reduced it from 2.8k lines to 300 lines.
Mixed feelings: happy that it is much simpler now and sad that my current project team members never go back to delete unused code.

Testing pending though 😜

Being a college student and knowing that when someone ask for "help" they actually mean "Give me your code"
The other day someone asked me for a way to solve a homework and I instead gave them the links from MSDN of the libraries and method he needed and he was like "Okay but how do I use this, how did you do it?" I facepalmed and decided to delete them from facebook, I hate leeches who wants me to do their jobs.

Worst of many. Had to work with someone who could be accurately described as a monkey in trousers with strategically cut fur.

Him: "I have refactored code now I have to refactor all your goddamn unit tests"
Me: "so?"
<silence>
<checks his commit>
Me: "why have you commented out every single line in all the unit tests?"
Him: "I DON'T BELIEVE WE SHOULD HAVE ANY UNIT TEST. THEY ADD TIME".
Me:"You cannot be serious. Apart from the obvious mistake in judgement why in the name of blue buggery fuck did you not delete the files? Have you not heard of source history?"
Him:"...."

I became his lead.
He left.

Colleague started a slack channel for our team, management wanted nothing to do with it. We used it to work and have a bit of fun.

Some push / drive came form somewhere and now all the managers are on it. Yesterday I was told my screenshot and "snarky comment" are not appropriate for the workplace and to delete my slack message.

My comment was a joke about about a new app the company has to use "to increase efficiency" that broke and wouldn't let me do what I needed. It wasn't offensive, demeaning, sexist to anyone or even contain any bad language.

How petty and childish to be monitoring a private channel making sure everything is positive. We all joked that from now on our meme's must be about how awesome the company is and how much time we are saving on a daily basis.

God forbid we're allowed to speak honestly and openly or have a bit of fun.

So this guy rated my app 1 star saying that "application is pretty good. I can do almost all of my task using this app. It would be better if you have added this* features."

*The features he mentions is nothing but the substraction of 2 variables.

Why some of the app users behave like this? This is the biggest turn off to motivate me to keep developing if your application is free of cost.

Why can't we delete those review from stores?

So I have this friend, let's call him retard. He decided to check out a coding competition. He signed up for it and then added me as a teammate. Then he went ahead and gave me a time, 22:00 local time. The time when the competition starts. I was excited, and being super retard didn't even think of rechecking things myself.
We waited in our merry ways, all so excited for a coding competition while listening to music to keep the mind free. The time finally came. It was 21:59. I opened up my ide and called upon my dear friend chrome. Asked the retard for the link. And then he decided to break out the curses. I was shocked, bewildered.
I didn't know what was going on, did I do something bad to him? Did I make him angry? Or did something happen to him? I was worried. After all, I don't want my teammate to be distressed during a competition. So in a stern voice I said, calm down my friend. Tell me the thing that's got you all riled up.
The news he conveyed shook my very foundations of trust and the feeling of comradry that we had built the day before going to lunch and discussing strategies. That bloody retard misread 20:00 as 22:00. Two whole hours. Two whole hours that could have been used for solving simple problems and making pretty algorithms were all gone and all that was left was the dust of other competitors who weren't retards and managed to read the time correctly.
Idk what to do. Should I kill him? Delete his github profile while he isn't looking? Ask him to kindly delete System32 folder from his C:/ drive?
But then again I should also take half the blame for not taking things seriously enough to make a bloody checkup on the fake news he provided.

FUCK I hate StackOverflow! I get a -2 on an answer from 2 years ago, so I delete the answer, but the -2 remains. Fair enough, until you see the COUNTLESS approved edits that I have made (+2 rep) that get automatically removed when the question is deleted. I made an approved edit, I deserve the FUCKING rep!

A new linear time O(N) sorting algorithm [Keep it secret 🔒]

* Compare two adjacent elements one by one starting from the first element
* If there are out of order, delete the second element and continue with step 1
* If in order, go to the next two elements
* Once done, act like the numbers you deleted never existed

Works all the time.
Not yet published. Thinking of a good name for it.

Today my boss told me that i missed the '*' in the delete from x SQL query..

Once on my old job I had several ssh sessions and I was running some tests where I frequently restarted the application... Until I entered the restart command in the terminal of the production system and shutdown the whole application. - Still gives me the creeps today, was just lucky the customer was in a break and we could remotely restart it, so probably nobody even noticed.

Now today I run a "rm -rf *" on a folder that is supposed to be local, but after some time I get suspicious because it is taking too long.. Only to discover that the mount point of the remote resource points to my "local copy". Shit.

What is next? The "delete from ...;" without where clause? Fuck, aren't you supposed to get more experienced and cautious?

Don't you just wish you can delete things from the internet forever?

I used to be a host on this show, not telling the name tho. It aired every Thursdays at 10 pm. And in case anyone missed it, the television station would post it on their youtube channel.

I was so desperate to remove it that I flagged it a bunch of times, but I knew it wouldn't work.

I'm dying of embarassment because everyone is finding it. It doesn't air on TV anymore, so that youtube channel is the bane of my existance.

I even got the idea to search myself up and delete any social media accounts, because I want to be nearly invisible on the internet.

That worked out. Except for that damn youtube channel.

I was a fucking 14 year old. I looked weird, acted weird, my mom made me dress weirdly. I was so nervous, I licked my freaking lips ON CAMERA. Not to mention, I had acne, and my skin was dark at the time because I was fresh out of middle school, and I did cross country in middle school.

Now I'm curious. Does anyone else have something embarassing on the internet that they can't get rid of?

2-3 hours top they said..

; DELETE * FROM Users WHERE 1=1; just checking

Who else does this?

>Work on a website for weeks without taking a break.
>Really enjoy the outcome, take a deserved 2 days off.
>Come back to your code, suddenly you don't know where to start, you feel disgusted by your code and you totally change your idea on how your website should look in the first place.
>Delete it, start from scratch.

Managements definition of an MVP:

- Integrate our backend and database with a similar-ish, older internal system built on a different tech stack and different rules.
- Merge the functionality and delete the old one.
- Modify our system to accept 2 types of logged in users.
- Have 2 versions of our API that return different values.
- Update our mobile app to render different data based on which user is logged in.
- Onboard the old system users to this new system.

My definition of an MVP:

- Tell the store we are taking over, that they have to print their labels from our tool, and onboard the users to our app.

I had plugged in my Android phone to the PC, browsed files from internal storage, Ctrl + X'ed some files from there, Ctrl + V'ed them to the desktop. Nothing special.

Bang. Files travelled to another dimension, absolutely gone from the original location, with no trace or them or any notification.

Who thought it would be a good idea to delete stuff before making sure it's been successfully transfered first?

Fuck you Windows.

Also, hello, its my first rant but I've been lurking devRant for a while now. Loving it here.

Oh my glorious diarrhea code.

DELETE FROM
[table]
WHERE
id = id

(instead of @id)

Behold the results of photoshopping pictures for the last 3 weeks....

Now I should be able to delete 10GB of RAWs from my 256GB SSD....

Next up, the 4 hours of videos.... and my interview tomorrow.... wish me luck?

It was our first computer. probably it was 2008. I was super stupid back then. One day I saw a text file in our desktop, which says, "Hey $username, how are you? Message me here I-forgot-his-email@yahoo.com"
No matter how much we delete the text file, it kept on recreating and keep on adding same texts with multiple lines. I was really annoyed!

Yahoo messenger was popular back then. So I messaged the person using Yahoo messenger and he replied. Our conversation went this way:
Me: (after explaining a bit about the text file) what is this?
Him: it is a virus
Me: how do I delete this?
Him: if I teach you how to delete it, the whole purpose of creating it would be in vain
Me: okay, how do I create something like this?
Him: just Google

That day I was swearing at him from the bottom of my heart, not through messenger, but from my mind, because he didn't teach me how he made that virus.

I was like, "I will show you ***** that even I can make a virus better than that". So, I started googling & started learning how to make these scripts. The more I learned, the more it blew my mind. I was creating simple stuffs like, opening/closing CD rom every 5 seconds. It was so fun back then. Cause, my friends had no clue why their CD roms kept opening every 5 seconds.

After a few days, I started to thank the virus creator from the bottom of my heart. Cause, if he taught me how to create THAT virus that day, I probably would've just learned THAT one thing and stopped. But because he didn't teach me that, to learn one thing, I got to learn more than that one thing, which I'm really thankful for.

And then the journey started. Learned Batch, VBscript, C, C++, Java and so on. And still learning new things everyday...

Son of a... insurance tracker
You hit delete and I’m stuck with this reply!?!

Stuff it, I’ll rant about it instead of commenting.

How’s an insurance e company any different to google tracking your every move, except now it’s for “insurance policy premiums” and setting pricing models on when, how, and potentially why you drive.

Granted no company should have enough gps data to be able to create a behaviour driven ai that can predict your where and when’s with great accuracy.

The fight to remove this kind of tech from our lives is long over, now we have to deal with the consequences of giving companies way to much information.

- good lord, I sound like a privacy activists here, I think I’ve been around @linuxxx to long.

I started working in a company where they use scala/akka stack, that requires a huge amount of hw resources to compile and debug, so my boss bought me a new laptop: a MacBook Pro. I came from a Dell with Linux Fedora, and now:
FUCK YOU APPLE YOUR COMPUTERS ARE SO SHITTY
JUST EXPLAIN ME WHY THE FUCKING KEYBOARD IS SO A PIECE OF SHIT WITH THE FUCKING COMMAND KEY
FUCK YOU COMMAND KEY
FUCK YOU MAC OS WITH YOUR SHITTY POLICIES YOU CAN'T INSTALL THIS PROGRAM BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO ENABLE UNKNOWN RESOURCES
FUCK YOU BREW AND BREW CASK WHAT THE FUCK OF TWO SHOULD I USE
FUCK THE STUPID TOUCHBAR I WANT THE FUCKING ESC, DELETE, F1, F2 AND SO ON
FUCK YOU APPLE YOUR MAC IS FRAGILE AS FUCK I CAN'T THROW THAT FROM THE FIFTH FLOOR OF MY BUILDING LIKE A THINKPAD
FUCK YOU SAFARI THAT YOU DON'T REFRESH THE PAGE WITH F5

I have a small gif for you just to explain how much shitty is Mac OS

I miss laptop keyboards like this...
Look at delete and esc buttons!
😍

P.S.: No commercials here..you can't find this anymore! Even that company stopped from produce laptop like this..!

I love how i finish a project, dont touch ANYTHING for months, then a few months later i try to run it and NOTHING WORKS. I cant start. I cant compile. Now i have to update versions. Now developer mode has to be turned on and restarted phone. Now i have to configure something specific in xcode. Now i have to update xcode. Now it crashes. Now i have to modify something. AND IT NEVWR FUCKING ENDS. I DIDNT TOUCH SHIT SINCE THE LAST TIME I OPENED THIS PROJECT AND IT WORKED PERFECTLY FINE. I DIDNT EVEN CHANGE MY PHONE OR PC. I DIDNT EVEN DELETE THE REPOSITORY FROM MY PC. AND BY MAGIC EVERYTHING GOT FUCKED A FEW MONTHS LATER FOR NO REASON. NO. I WILL FUCK YOU. U WONT FUCK ME. FUCK U

For shits I opened myh spam box in gmail. There was a flood of spam from dating.lt . I wanted to just go over there and see if I somehow have an account in there. And delete it if possible.

But when I tried to log in with my usual "spam credentials" -- this hapened

DELETE FROM 'users' WHERE 1

Oops... 😧

DELETE FROM Invoices;

I am on test, right? OH SH!T

had a recent backup tho and no data were lost.

Happened once and never again. I was still pretty much junior in a senior position to be fair 😅

DELETE FROM TABLE invoices.

The next week was spent inputing the data by hand because:

Who needs database back-ups?

1. Read about software engineering/design patterns, tools etc.
2. Adopt information to my requirements
3. Write code
4. Delete my shitty code from point 3.
5. Goto point 3

Phish everyone's slack tokens, make markov chain bots that immitate everyone and delete any messages not coming from the bots.

Have the entire company chatting with itself nonsensically without allowing any human interaction for a whole day.

Then buy the sysadmin their favorite bottle of alochol for the trouble I put them through.

Last week I was erasing a 2Gb USB thumb while copying some really important shit to my backup disk. I look at the terminal and see it's taking a lot of time to did zeroes on dev/sdb.
Then I realized that dev/sdb is the backups drive and I just erased the firsts sectors of my only fucking backup.
It's ok, I said, let's see what can TestDisk do for me. And it only could find an empty sad partition that had useless shit on it. Whdd couldn't even find the drive. Cat and dd vomited 160Gb of nothing to a file that couldn't be read. I was lost, because I failed doing something I'm really good at. And I did it because I was to stupid to check fstab...
It's the very first time I couldn't recover data, so I'm thinking about delete "Data recovery" from my resume skills and put "Data cleaning. Really effective. I can send you 160Gb of pure horse shit to prove it" instead.

Boss: please deleted These vServers since we dont need them anymore

Done.

Me: Starts working today. Got a Mail from my boss.
"Can we Talk about Server xyz123, there may be some important data on it"

Sometimes I wonder if they think that I Just sitting around with a finger in my nose and wait for days before I start doing stuff.

Just dont ask me to delete stuff if you are unsure.

My company that I work for now is making me work on my personal laptop for the past 4 months! Like wth! It’s work from home y’all, and you gotta work 24/7 but on your own laptops! A thing came up for a new project, and my laptop doesn’t have enough space for it, they were like, delete your stuff, make space! Wtf! It’s called a personal laptop for a reason!

There are still old youtube comments from my younger self to be found on youtube. Delete every evidence!

Me: How can I delete pushed commits from origin?
Colleague: Just do git reset --hard and then git push -f
Me: But this is dangerous
Colleague: Wait, I'll do it myself
Colleague: Done
Me: But nothing happened
Colleague: Fuck. I just removed all changes on my own branch

When you're parsing SO's questions from your cellphone, you find one that's easy, you answer it, then when it's done, you read the question again to realized you totally missed the point.

When you realize that the StackExchange app doesn't allow you to delete your own comment, so you have to rush to the nearest computer to delete your answer before anyone downvotes it.

When you sit back again to resume your breakfast, the adrenaline rush slowly fading away.

Sure thing Facebook, I'll just get up from my grave and ask you guys to delete my account

TL;DR: If you make a contest where people get to vote online fucking make it right!

And here's the story: I play in a local coverband to make some cash on the side and because I love making music. We entered a contest hosted by a local radio-station. The first round was determined by judges and now 5 bands remain and of those 5 only 3 get to be voted into the final round. In the final round every bands wins something: 3rd place 250€, 2nd place 750€ and first place 5000€.
Now that stupid dipshit of a web-designer of that radio-station made a website where you can vote and it only fucking sets a cookie. You can delete it and vote again. You don't need no E-Mail and nothing. It doesn't even block multiple votes from one IP. It doesn't do shit.
Even my bandmates (who don't work in IT) where smart enough to figure out that you can just delete the cookies...
I think that now every band except for one is cheating. (we have over 5000 votes and combined all bands have like 4000 FB-Likes and sometimes and Band gets like 400 more votes in an hour) This is such a fucking messup and I don't know what to do. Maybe they'll look into stats but if they're so stupid to make a contest like this in the first place, maybe they won't. And even if they look into the stats it wouldn't be fair to kick out a band with much votes because how the fuck would they know if the band themselves cheated or if it was a fan of the band or even an enemy of the band just to get them kicked out.
I'm afraid of talking to the radio-station as a part of one band because maybe the web-designer there just gets frustrated and bans us from the contest entirely.
This is just fucking frustrating.

Most ignorant ask from a PM or client?

Migrated to SharePoint 2016 which included Reporting Services, and trying to fix a bug in the reporting services scheduler, I created a report (aka, copied an existing one) 'A Klingon Walks Into a Bar', so it would first in the list and distinct enough so the QA testers would (hopefully) leave it alone.

The PM for the project calls me.
PM: "What is this Klingon report? It looks like a copy of the daily inventory report"
Me: "It is. The reporting service job keeps crashing on certain reports that have daily execution schedules."
PM: "I need you to delete it"
Me: "What? Why? The report is on the dev sharepoint site. I named the report so it was unique and be at the top of the list so I can find it easily."
PM: "The name doesn't conform to our standards and it's confusing the testers."
Me: "The testers? You mean Dan, you, and Heather?"
PM: "Yes, smartass. Can you name the report something like daily inventory report 2, or something else?"
Me: "I could, but since this is in development, no. You've already proofed out the upgrade. You're waiting on me to fix this sharepoint bug. Why do you care what I do on this server? It's going away after the upgrade."
PM: "Yea, about that. We like having the server. It gives us a place to test reports. Would really appreciate it if you would rename or delete that report."
Me: "A test sharepoint reporting services server out of scope, so no, we're not keeping it."
PM: "Having a server just for us would be nice."
Me: "$10,000 nice? We're kinda fudging on the licensing now. If we're keeping it, we will be required to be in compliance. That's a server license, sharepoint license, sql server license, and the dedicated hardware. We talked about that, remember?"
PM: "Why is keeping that report so important to you? I don't want to explain to a VP what a Klingon is."
Me: "I'm not keeping the report or moving it to production. When I figure out the problem, I'll delete the report. OK?"
PM: "I would prefer you delete the report before a VP sees it."
Me: "Why would a VP be looking? They probably have better things to do."
PM: "Jeff wants to see our progress, I'll have to him the site, and he'll see the report."
Me: "OK? You tell Jeff it's a report I'm working on, I'll explain what a Klingon is, Jeff will call me a nerd, and we all move on."
PM: "I'm not comfortable with this upgrade."
Me: "What does that mean?"
PM: "I asked for something simple and I can't be responsible for the consequences. I'll be documenting this situation as a 'no-go' for deployment"
Me: "Oookaayyy?"

I figured out the bug, deleted the 'Klingon' report, and the PM couldn't do anything to delay the deployment.

intialize

made a spelling mistake? just move back with the arrow and add the "i" between the "n" and "t"?

no

delete the whole word and write it from scratch again because it is faster

am i the only one?

I've seen many devs doing crazy things in my entire career till now. But this one dude stands out.
He used to:
- Push binaries to git repo
- Use some old libraries which were used during Indus Valley civilization
- Had no sense of database and used to delete random data from it and call it as TESTING (Thank God! I never gave him prod access)
- And on top of this, he had an ass full of attitude!

Conversation I had with a coworker today:

me: When transferring an object from C++ to QML you have to set the parent of the object. If you don't QML thinks it can just delete this object.

coworker: So if you don't set the parent of the object then the orphans get Anakined?

me: Yes

Me, being a lowly junior dev, had the honor of being in a same group chat with a big corporation devOps team.
Finally ready to play with the big boys!!

*opens chat*
DevOps 1: "so we need to remove the CSS cache from our clients computers."
DevOps 2: "ok, well... just delete the server cache"

*watching in awe as they all try to figure out why it's not working*

This continued on for a while...
Until my boss had enough laughs and giggles and put an end to this stupidity :D

My gym decided to adopt a fitness app so members could sign up for classes. Their onboarding was terrible (to be nice about it). I really hate when businesses don’t understand the technology they want to use.

Me: I downloaded the app, but all the classes say to call the gym.

Gym: Are you using the email that’s on file for your apartment?

Me: Yes, I am because I read the gym’s instructions for using the app.

Gym: …

Me: I think the issue is I had an existing account on the app before the gym decided to use the app for its business.

Gym: Then that’s the problem. Delete your account and sign up for a new one.

Me: WTF 🤬 I am not deleting an account that I’ve had FOR YEARS just because you can’t figure out technical issues with the vendor. How did it never occur to you that gym members might already have accounts for a fitness app that’s been around for years and used by other businesses? Besides, this app doesn’t let users delete accounts from the app so I don’t know where you’re coming from with telling me to delete my account.

JUST ONCE DOCUMENT YOUR FUCKING LIBRARY!

FUCKING CLOWN!

FUCKING IDIOTS!

YOU RUIN MY DAY, MAKE ME WORK 12 HOURS A DAY, TO RESOLVE SUCH BASIC FUNCTIONALITY

YOU FUCKING CLOWN!!!!!!!!!

I'D BETTER DELETE THE ENTIRE APP AND START FROM SCRATCH, WOULD BE EASIER THAN USING YOUR SCUM OF THE EARTH PIECE OF SHIT LIBRARY

DELETE userAccount
FROM devRant
WHERE postContent LIKE '%article 13%' AND numberOfPostsAboutArticle13 > 1;

Finished porting clientX to Linux, including dev laptops and desktops. The best part was getting to personally enjoy the moment I got to delete all IIS/Windows integration logic from the .Net core services.

Commit message:
"Windows... where we're going we don't need Windows. #CLD-15"

Going to create a couple of cron jobs that delete stuff from database.

What could possibly go wrong? ;)

I love that its 2024, and yet sometimes you still have to delete the /bin and /obj folders from a C# project to remove build errors that are in fact, not build errors...

...and people here hate node.js / npm

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

but come on down in the comments all you C# worshippers and please enlighten me what I am doing wrong... definitely couldn't be C# right?

also explain why 'clean' must not REALLY mean clean 🤡

My girlfriend needed a flash drive to back up her Chromebook. I took an old 7g I had and formatted it to exfat (standard procedure here, nothing special). She plugged it in and had some issues with it, so I told her to see erase the drive from her Chromebook. Chromebook said it would delete all 4 terabytes (4tb) from the drive. Lol. Don't know how that happened, and was tempted to try it to see how it went, but did not want to mess up her laptop or wait days for a supposed 4 TB drive to format.

Tl;dr: girlfriends Chromebook thought a 7gb flash drive was 4tb

During the first few months of my first professional development role, I had a really odd bug on a live WordPress site that I couldn't replicate locally, despite having the same code and dependency setup. Using WordPress was a mistake but not the one I'm writing about.

I decided to copy live site and its database. Then I thought it best to delete all the users from the copy of the database (I'm not sure why I thought I should do that) and I did so via the WordPress admin UI.

What I wasn't aware of was there was a custom function to email the user before they get deleted.

I got inundated with hundreds of confused/angry/hysterical users about their accounts being deleted, even though they hadn't actually been, and a telling off from the boss.

It seems as if my parents delete SYSTEM32 folder each time I visit them 😂.

How do you keep your parents from breaking their phone of pc?

School's windows installations had the UAC set to lowest.
Anyone could install malware or fiddle with important settings.

Oh by the way, the same school who's gData found it funny to go through my USB drive and delete all executables and all my code because it was "possibly malicious".

Started installing random crap and messing with people in retaliation.
Was fun.
Until I got caught.
Good thing I compiled a list of security flaws earlier on.

From that day on, everytime I messed up, I sold them two security vulnerabilites to let me off the hook.
These included access to all kinds of drives in the windows network, accessing other PCs desktop, literally uninstalling random printers from the network etc..

Fun time.

When someone decides to manually delete a user from a relational database that relies on that user to exist and expects everything to work out perfectly.

From fresh experience, IF you are learning Git I would really suggest you fully learn it from a professional before really using it. So you don't accidently delete 1,5 weeks of work like I just did :))))))))))))

On the bright side, with all these privacy update emails, it has given me a chance to unsubscribe from all the shitty newsletters that I subscribed loooong back and to delete unwanted spam accounts that I don't use anymore.

Thanks GDPR!

New episode on my clients being morons.

Got a call this morning:
Client: hello, we've got a problem here...
Me: tell me about it
C: well... Do you remember the 1200 account we loaded last week ?
Me: yes? What's wrong, we tested them, everything was alright.
C: yeah... But we just noticed we loaded them in the wrong status... Fix that!
Me: easy, we clear the database and load the correct data back.
C: NO WAY! We already worked on 3 accounts. Don't want to lose any of that. Just change the status, it's easy
Me: well not really, there's a lot more going on when you go from one status to another.
C: Don't care, just do it

So... now I need to delete the bad data, checking nothing else gets impacted in the application. And then reload that same data with the proper status this time.

As weird as this sounds like, this is the reason why I love my job. You get challenges like that every single day.

Never again...:

DELETE FROM objects WHERE id - #####;

😳...fml

In a shit mood from developing and being an adult so fuck it, let's get drunk and delete windows and install arch as my main driver...

Im sure nothing will go wrong...

Fuck you Intel.
Fucking admit that you're Hardware has a problem!

"Intel and other technology companies have been made aware of new security research describing software analysis methods that, when used for malicious purposes, have the potential to improperly gather sensitive data from computing devices that are operating as designed. Intel believes these exploits do not have the potential to corrupt, modify or delete data"

With Meltdown one process can fucking read everything that is in memory. Every password and every other sensible bit. Of course you can't change sensible data directly. You have to use the sensible data you gathered... Big fucking difference you dumb shits.

Meltown occurs because of hardware implemented speculative execution.
The solution is to fucking separate kernel- and user-adress space.
And you're saying that your hardware works how it should.
Shame on you.

I'm not saying that I don't tolerate mistakes like this. Shit happens.
But not having the balls to admit that it is because of the hardware makes me fucking angry.

FUCK U GOOGLE PHOTOS, I MANUALLY UPLOAD PHOTOS FROM THE APP AND THEN DELETE ONE FROM THE WEB APP FROM MY PC BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT THAT ONE UPLOADED.....
BUT IT DELETED IT ON MY PHONE.... WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lesson of the Day: Manually copy all photos to PC and external HD first. Then upload the ones you want.

This is taking a while.... i wonder if i have enough disk space.....

Stopid mf fat fingers, worked 2 weeks building a design system and 2 hours ago I accidentally shift deleted the scss folder and lost every fcking file, no git, no backup, no nada,guess what, tried to recover the files with 2 Permanently deleted file recovery softwares and from fcking 20 files, 17 were corrupted and weren’t readable, I and my designer friend use a folder sync app, the fcking app synced the delete and she lost the files aswell, fooockiinggg shieeeet, to my don’t know how where luck I managed to recover the copiled javascript chunck from my vue app that had the css styles embeded in the file, you know where I found the js file? iN ThE fcking cache of google chrome. Today I almost broke down to tears, but nonetheless it was a reeee moment for me.

Problems with redis... timeout everywhere...

30k READs per minute.

Me : Ok, How much ram are we actually using in redis ?

Metrics : Average : 30 MB

Me ; 30 MB, sure ? not 30 GB ?

Metrics : Nop, 30 MB

Me : fuck you redis then, hey memory cache, are you there ?

Memory cache : Yep, but only for one instance.

Me ok. So from now on you Memory cache is used, and you redis, you just publish messages when key should be delete. Works for you two ?

Memeory cache and redis : Yep, but nothing out of box exists

Me : Fine... I'll code it my selkf witj blackjack and hookers.

Redis : Why do I exist ?

Nothing is as boring and frustrating as cloning a ripo from GitHub
run it then you get 3, 4 syntax errors
you fix them
then boom a library throws a hug ass exception

at that point I just delete the damn thing

The knowledge base for fixing stupid shit in Windows 10 is abysmal. I had a slow login that seemed to be progressively worse. I had searched in the past about this. The suggestions ranged from getting an SSD to reinstalling Windows. None of them addressed the issue. I had removed some startup programs thinking that might be the issue. It was not. I finally found some obscure mention by some guy that said: delete the user temp folder. So I did that. Now it takes almost no time to login. I think the only delay is the steam stuff in the background.

Of course all the official Microsoft suggestions were total shit.

My mom asked me to speed up her PC's startup process. I looked into it and and probably found the problem: G Data.

I told her she has to delete it, there is windows defender anyways (and virus scanners are just snake oil). She refused and said: But I bought it from the local IT shop. They said it is the best.

I said: Yeah because they cannot sell windows defender...

She still argued that she paid for it and wants to keep it.

That was were I said: then enjoy your slow startups.

She also said she feels more secure with it. 🙄

I would not even be able to work with that PC! Its not old at all, but the permanent scanning comes at a high cost and probably does not help much.

But she trusts that local it store guy more than me apparently.

DELETE * FROM TABLE;

I downloaded Lapsus$ source code leaks from samsung, nvidia and microsoft, looked at them and I think I’ll delete it cause I don’t like shitty code on my personal computer.

Thanks to McDonald's for such a wonderful morning... And this may explain why a busy store is now empty...

-Order mobile deal at home
-Walk 15mins to the restaurant
-Opens app, get message "your account has been deleted"

*WTF!!!!!*

-Tried to sign up with Google, error
-Sign up with Facebook, OK!!

(btw I got a privacy message from Google this morning... Haven't got one from FB yet... hmm...)

-tried to redeem again. All coupons are like "not available at this location"

Well since I'm here anyway...

-Walks to machines and enters the codes, it works!!!!

FFS MCD JUST TELL PPL THESE COUPONS CAN BE REDEEMED IN STORE ONLY!!!! AND DON'T RANDOMLY DELETE ACCOUNT BC YOU CAN'T SUPPORT GPDR OR UR SYSTEM CRASHES FROM AN INTERNAL BUG

Lucky I redeemed my free coffee last week...

An app is protecting me from itself. :|

This is a notification from my budgeting app, which translates SMS confirmations. It has a spam filter built in.

I've been getting annoying SMS ads from them which I delete.

The app would now like to know if I want to auto block SMS'es from its own company.

You'd think a company with enough sense to build an SMS spam filter would have enough sense to, you know.. not spam SMS'es?

I found these notes from myself 6 months ago to my future self:

// may delete this, now it's in join profile
require('./configure/auto-confirm.js');

// may delete this, now it's in join profile
require('./wso/wso-email-ad-form.js');

I don't trust it. Not deleting.

Delete your Facebook
Delete LinkedIn and Gmail too

Stop visiting websites with ads
Stop being friends with anyone with smartphones

Draw your own maps
Draw your own water

Avoid drinking tap water
Avoid going out in public with your face on

Kill your own meat
Kill your gods
- From tweet

So on a scale from 0 to creating a bat script to delete folders and fully re clone the repo's you just deleted because you can't be bothered learning git, how lazy are you?

I'm in the latter...

I made a New Year's Resolution to take more of an interest in my Internet privacy. Feel like it's something I should have done a long time ago. I've stopped using Google search (DuckDuckGo instead), moved away from my Gmail account (Tutanota instead) and stopped using Chrome (Firefox/Firefox Focus instead). I've had my Gmail account since they first announced it and you could only sign up if someone invited you. It felt good to delete 7000 emails and what I estimate must have been 13-14 years of Google/YouTube searches. Currently experimenting with VPNs, considering paying for ProtonVPN soon.

A guy came from another city, just to teach a little bit on how to improve productivity, and after almost 2 hours of him telling stories about his life and career, in five minutes he told us to delete games and facebook from our cellphones, and only focus on learning and work related apps... And He tried to sell us the complete series of books and videos with the full content on productivity in the end...

Reminiscing the days before Mercurial and Git,

1) I delete foo.cpp.
2) I tell Subversion to delete foo.cpp from repository.
Subversion: Error - can't delete file because it doesn't exist locally.
3) I create some dummy foo.cpp.
4) Again, I tell subversion to delete it.
Subversion: Error - can't delete file because it exists locally.

Every time I get angry with Git (strangely never happens with Mercurial), I remind myself what Subversion was like.

<rant>
I really don't enjoy visual studio

Is not bad but it's not worth the disk space it takes up..

Also, if your disk is starting to fill up and vs is filling the most space, YOU CAN'T <swearword> UNINSTALL IT FROM YOUR PC

To remove the shit, I had to upgrade to Windows 10 (our school PC's are not allowed to have Linux) and delete my whole fucking disk, just to get it removed

Fix your shit ms

</rant>

I just woke up this morning to an email saying that someone from chile logged into my instagram account and I'm not actually what set me of the most.

The fact that my password was leaked, the fact I literally never got notified that I had a Instagram account I never wanted or the you have to disable most privacy settings, just to reset your password.

Like holy fuck, I disabled all options I could find on firefox concerning privacy/tracking and it still tells me I should disable some privacy settings.
So I enabled chrome again (fucking system app) and it worked on first try. Just as expected...

Anyway, fuck instagram and thank you dear hacker for telling me that I had a worthless to delete.

story time:
I use onedrive for sharing some files and shit. So one day one of my folders, which I got from a downloaded zip, caused an error "files couldn't be synced because of unallowed character in the title".
Turns out there was a space at the end of the folder title. I change the name, I get some error.
"Okay, no problem, I don't need that folder anymore anyway" So I delete it, doesn't work, the error message reads "Can't delete folder because it no longer exists.". "What the hell" try deleting it some more. Emptying it before deleting. Deleting the parent folder. I try formatting it before deleting. Nothing works.
Deleting from the online onedrive client causes it to briefly disappears but refreshing places it back right where it came from.

So I resort to my last hope, customer support.
I explain the whole thing.

I get a reply. Oh boy.

I get explained that if the recycle bin is full, the file will be placed back.
After that, I get an explanation on how to remove a file xD

Thanks OneDrive Team, really helpful.

Why Microsoft, why.

We have our own Powershell Scripts to delete unwanted apps that are installed from Microsoft on Windows 10, like XBOX app.

I installed a new workstation for a new worker and deleted the apps with the scripts.

The Day the new worker arrived, it was my task to give him an introduction, what Programs we are using and so on.

Worker logs into machine and opens Startmenu.
All Apps that I have deleted with the scripts are back!

Why, you ask. Because Microsoft made it so, that when a new user logs in on a machine he has never been before, every single apps that has been deleted is reinstalled.

I'm searching for a method to shut this down for good.

Help is much appreciated.

TL;DR my first vps got hacked, the attacker flooded my server log when I successfully discovered and removed him so I couldn't use my server anymore because the log was taking up all the space on the server.

The first Linux VPN I ever had (when I was a noob and had just started with vServers and Linux in general, obviously) got hacked within 2 moths since I got it.
As I didn't knew much about securing a Linux server, I made all these "rookie" mistakes: having ssh on port 22, allowing root access via ssh, no key auth...

So, the server got hacked without me even noticing. Some time later, I received a mail from my hoster who said "hello, someone (probably you) is running portscans from your server" of which I had no idea... So I looked in the logs, and BAM, "successful root login" from an IP address which wasn't me.

After I found out the server got hacked, I reinstalled the whole server, changed the port and activated key auth and installed fail2ban.
Some days later, when I finally configured everything the way I wanted, I observed I couldn't do anything with that server anymore. Found out there was absolutely no space on the server. Made a scan to find files to delete and found a logfile. The ssh logfile. I took up a freaking 95 GB of space (of a total of 100gb on the server). Turned out the guy who broke into my server got upset I discovered him and bruteforced the shit out of my server flooding the logs with failed login attempts...

I guess I learnt how to properly secure a server from this attack 💪

Trying out Exercism - The learning curve is fucking massive - and they don't warn ou about not being able to go to mentored mode from independent mode, and you can''t leave a track to counter this, and can't delete an account...

Sometimes I have to work with physical hardware. There are over 300 machines in our lab, split among two subnets. But for some reason, I can never access my machines by hostnames.

Every other week, there's an IP conflict on this network, requiring me to log into the active directory server and delete old DNS entries. This usually happens because someone decided to deploy 64 VMs on a huge server, all at once, didn't boot them with a delay, let alone with with a warning to IT.

Then when my superior asks how my progress has been and I respond with "I can't even get the machines to ping each other by hostname, there's something wrong with the DNS:, I get the following response: "HOW COME NOBODY ELSE IS HAVING PROBLEMS WITH THIS. YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT", from someone who spends 90% of the year abroad, working remotely.

What is it with certain colleagues who "wanna write C, not C++"

Motherfucker if I see another malloc in the code I will physically asssault you.

Like damn we're failing to teach people C++ badly when a newcomer from university, who had 2 semesters of "C++" doesn't even understand RAII.

And how in gods name do software engineers with *decades* of experience get so stuck on old technologies?

Like I've seen them write 3 nested try-catch to make sure a delete is called or some mutex is unlocked....

If youre in the position of teaching others C++, please stop teaching C first.

When I moved away from my family for my studies, I found myself alone for the first time in AGES. It caused bad things to my brain but since, I really enjoy loneliness, peace, and not having anyone to disturb you.

When I check Facebook (from where I'll remove my account soon), all I see is people craving for likes, feng shui bullshit and useless stuff from people I don't speak to since I left my family.

There are these times where I wish I could get off the grid without having to say goodbye, move to Canada, and reset everything, delete all my accounts from everywhere, build a shelter and stay there.

Man, I miss loneliness

I upgraded a PC with an SSD and had to reinstall twice because windows thought it would be a good Idea just to use the boot partition of the old drive instead of creating a new one on the SSD.

I first noticed that something was weird because I could only delete the system and not the boot partition on the old drive using diskpart. I restarted the machine thinking it would help only for the bios to tell me there was no os on the ssd. I tried booting from the old hdd and sure enough, I landed on the desktop of the ssd install.

To resolve that I had to unplug the other drive, reinstall windows and only then I could boot normally.

60mins of my life wasted as I had just finished installing all the software...

So I'm basically my family's IT guy, as you'd expect, but this is just pulling my hairs.

My mom's laptop has a weird error message saying something about a corrupt windows update database.

Not wanting to mess the system up, I decided to factory reset the computer and see if that helped.

During the factory reset, windows tells me that it can't delete all files, and that another factory reset might be in order.

Alright, I don't think any more of it and proceed to setup the account on the computer, everything works fine.

Next day I decide to run windows update on it just to see if everything works as it should, the computer restarts and immediately BSoDs on me. Upon reboot the same error from before the system reset pops up again, and I'm back to square one.

Fuck windows and all its constant issues

I remember the first time I was experimenting with Linux and decided to install Kali Linux (was still version 1 at the time) and in the process cleaned my hard drive. I was in first year and I hadn't been introduced to git, so you can imagine what happened to my code.

Or when I dumped all my databases into one SQL file (the feature looked tasty in phpmyadmin) and then after reinstalling everything, I couldn't import back the files.

Or last year, where I was on industrial attachment. So we were to delete some data from DHIS2 manually. So as a developer I grouped all organisation units to be deleted under one parent and wrote a python script to recursively delete anything in that group. Just when I was about to show my supervisor how efficiently my script was deleting stuff, he said, "Don't delete anything yet". I hope he doesn't read this *wink*

Fast forward, last week on Friday I dropped my external hard drive. It just works on one USB port now, no idea how and why.

Before you fire me and delete me as admin from managing your website, also be sure to check on and have me transfer to you the third-party stuff, like Cloudflare or Mailchimp. Remember how I had to set these up on my own on your behalf (because you don't know what you're doing and those alerts would disappear into your unmanaged inbox)? Think first to make sure you have full control over your WHOLE site. You see, what happens when I delete those accounts is no longer my problem once I walk out the door.

I had a pretty good laugh just now.
There's this extension I wrote for our client's online shop which enables them to create template files via the backend. Essentially it's just an editor reading and writing files from/to a directory.

So I installed said extension using a package I found locally, thinking it was the latest release. Unfortunately it was not.

As I said the extension writes template files within it's own directory and back when I had packed up the extension, I must had forgotten to delete these template files resulting from tests and messing around.

Long story short, I just received a ticket about a line of text suddenly showing up below the product page description saying: "I like turtles!"

The ticket itself was very professional though and the client didn't forget to mention that the "notice" was not part of their product feed data. No shit! LOL

fuck..fuck..FUCK..FUCK YOU MANTIS!!!
fuck you and your fucking invalid security token... fucking cunt...
yeah i love extracting my notes from POST data via the browser dev console cause you fucking delete it when hitting the back button...
THANKS FOR NOTHING

Spam assassin kills most of the spam I get before I see it. It works pretty well. However, I started getting a fuck ton of spam from some asshole on a Turkey server. You cannot forward spam to the gov anymore so what to do (They use a honeypot. Apparently it doesn't catch everything.)? Well I got the abuse email account address for the server. Then I went into my servers spam filter for the email address I am having issues with. Then I redirect the email to this abuse email address. Then I delete it from the server. This makes it so my email client never sees the message and I automagically notify the abuse account. If the abuse account is owned by the spammer then he is just filling up his own server with shit.

Anybody else have fun or interesting ways with dealing with spam the regular filters don't catch?

Upon deleting a file,
Filename too long. Delete file permanently?
*just windows things*

Maybe I'm not that well informed but wouldn't the option of allowing user to rename it or removing excess characters from filename be a better option?

How to be more productive at morning? Just get alert from PagerDuty that one of core app running out of space and there is nothing you can delete. Call me Speedy Gonzalez

For hours I spent my time debugging my code, trying different approach to the same code function. Looking for one simple invisible mistake, that is when I want to make a delete request to the IndexedDB.

The request are fine without running a single error, the success event fires perfectly. But one thing which is unexpected, the object inside IndexedDB did not vanish at all. The data stay the same without any flaws (but how can that be, when the 'delete success' event fired? IT SHOULD BE GONE BY NOW!). No kidding, for hours I debug my code, yet found nothing's wrong!

Until one moment I found out the datatype of key I gave the request are different from the object I wanted to delete, the object has a key of 4 and I gave the request "4". I'm so pissed at this moment making me googled 'developer rant' and found this site.
Really! God Bless 1 !== '1'.

<warning>bad words</warning>

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!!! LibreOffice Impress is a complete shit!! I am all about open source and such but this shit just sucks, moving elements around a frame snaps them to some grid, however when you paste an element from other frame it will have a different grid!!! This motherfucker has got an ALT function that will allow you to move the element more precisely but it only works seldom and it hates it when I try to use the fucking arrow keys - it even crashed once when I tried it. AND WHEN YOU FUCKING COPY A TABLE FROM ONE FUCKING FRAME TO ANOTHER MOTHERFUCKING FRAME, DELETE A FEW ROWS AND THEN COPY THE FREAKING TABLE BACK IT WILL HAVE MAGICALLY DIFFERENT DIMENSIONS BUT JUST EVER SO SLIGHTLY, BECAUSE FUCK THE USER, RIGHT??!!! (Doing this because there is no way to split tables into two different objects) I constantly have to save my presentation, kill the process and open it again because something just stops working or gets stuck, like seriously, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING FUCK???!!! Are there no tests?!!! Do the people who work on this piece of motherfucking shit even use it???!!

Immediately start coding every feature all at once as fast as possible. After about a week I realize the architecture is so bad I can't continue so I stop, and design the architecture properly so it will scale. Then I delete everything I had and start from scratch. Finally after about another week I lose interest and let it rot in the side project graveyard.

Rinse and repeat.

Guys, just a quick update on the ability to delete default apps on iOS 10 since Apple is not saying much, I've just deleted all the defaults and gained around 0.38GB in total, it would appear that some of the Apps aren't in fact deleted but are just hidden from the home screen (which would explain the lack of a size being given on the App Store)

In the macOS app "Keychain", if you search for something ("fork" in this case), you can’t delete it from the results directly. To delete it, you need to select it in the list without searching, which of course defeats the purpose.
WTF is this? This can’t be on purpose right?

(Sorry for the bad photo instead of a screenshot)

So we have this really annoying bug in our system that customers keep complaining about. I've explained in detail, multiple times, why the part they think is a bug is not a bug and the workaround they keep asking me to apply doesn't make sense, won't fix the issue, and won't even stick (the system will notice that the record they want me to delete has been removed and it will repopulate itself, by design).

I've told them what we need to do as an actual workaround (change a field on the record) and what we need to do to properly fix the bug (change the default value on the record and give proper controls to change this value through the UI). We've had this conversation at least three times now over a period of several months. There is a user story in the backlog to apply the actual fix, but it just keeps getting deprioritized because these people don't care about bug fixes, only new features, new projects, new new new, shiny shiny new.

Today another developer received yet another report of this bug, and offered the suggested workaround of deleting the record. The nontechnical manager pings everyone to let them know that the correct workaround is to delete the record and to thank the other developer for his amazing detective work. I ping the developer in a private channel to let him know why this workaround doesn't work, and he brushes it off, saying that it's not an issue in this case because nobody will ever try to access the record (which is what would trigger it being regenerated).

A couple hours later, we get a report from support that one of the deleted records has been regenerated, and people are complaining about it.

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

Microsoft and their dev tools...

> Trying to login to Azure VM
> Get an error, saying that password needs to be changed before logging in the first time
> Head over to Azure portal, try resetting password
> Password reset is not successful. Reason: Account already exists (???)
> Google the error message. Found solution (coming from a Microsoft employee!): Create a new user, login with that, fix the password for user #1 inside the VM, then delete the new user

What's wrong with these people? 😂

Anecdote from when I used to be an apprentice:
Setting: Small company, number of employees -> ε, direct superior is the founder and owner, no tech background

Boss: I've looked at this backup directory of the ERP /* why is he even going through that stuff?*/, it looks messy as hell, I want you to tidy that up
Me: Those are incremental backups, I can't just go and delete some of them, the application manages them by itself
Boss: Get it tidy!

Got a new job at a fairly large IT firm which deals with large scale business software for customers like the government's various agencies.

The very first job I'm assigned to: we have to strip down this software and make it more general, go ahead and delete everything related to <feature>.

I haven't had time to get to know the product and I've deleted hundreds of files and lines of code from related files...

I have a feeling this will bite me somehow

Yesterday I helped in a college final project. To be done using PHP and MySQL.

- they were taught to create a login page and when submitted just check the values against username and password from DB table and redirect to a dashboard page. No session created.
- in the dashboard, session is not checked. Shows links to other pages.
- each page is a separate php file
- the app allows users to issue books to customers. They were taught to delete the book from book table and save all the info in issue table, when a book is issued
- when a book is returned, book info is saved in a return table and also saved to book table again and deleted from issue table

I asked this student to change it to the right way, to use sessions and includes. He said that then the lecturer would know, he didn't do the project. It's a diploma level course.

Just got off the phone with a csr about a bug they found. No biggie, I said I'd fix it. Basically until it gets fixed I told them that when they do their process to make sure to do "foo" first, then "bar" second. As soon as I got off the phone, had to poop so I went to the bathroom, and as soon as I sat down I get a message from the same CSR, "Hey I did bar first, can I type foo then bar again?"

WTF DID I JUST SAY LITERALLY 2 MINUTES AGO ON THE PHONE. TBH IT WOULD BE BETTER IF YOU JUST DIDNT DO ANYTHING FOR 15 MINUTES BUT NOW I HAVE TO COMB CLOUD FUNCTION LOGS, FIND THE DOC UID YOU CREATED, FIND THE DOC YOU MADE, DELETE IT, DELETE THE ASSIGNMENT IN YOUR TRASH ASS WORKPLACE PORTAL, AND STILL FIX THE SAID BUG

Tarball of source code from a big manufacturer served on their open src page...
They forgot to delete the .git subdir!
Private keys and signing tools for everybody!!!!

P.S It's fixed by now, don't get your hopes up :P

I once accidentally deleted the live versions of my websites instead of the development versions (which I wanted to delete because I was going to start over from the live versions.) After several hours of digging through backup folders, I finally found the latest backup files, which were a few months old.

It took me a few hours to get the backed up versions to the same version they were when they were live. In all this, I have learned to keep the live and development versions of my sites in completely different locations.

How the fuck does Linux think it's okay to let you delete the very partition it's running from?

Rant rant rant!

Le me subscribe to website to buy something.

Le register, email arrives immediately.
*please not my password as clear text, please not my password as clear text *

Dear customer your password is: ***

You dense motherfucker, you special bread of idiotic asshole its frigging 2017 and you send your customer password in an email!???

They frigging even have a nice banner in their website stating that they protect their customer with 128bit cryptography (sigh)

Protect me from your brain the size of a dried pea.

Le me calm down, search for a way to delete his profile. Nope no way.
Search for another shop that sells the good, nope.
Try to change my info: nope you can only change your gender...

Get mad, modify the html and send a tampered form: it submits... And fail because of a calculation on my fiscal code.

I wanna die, raise as a zombie find the developers of that website kill them and then discard their heads because not even an hungry zombie would use that brains for something.

I made a huge mistake

I got "in the zone", I was coding so nice and fast and everything was working, so I didn't want to commit every single minute and then have to go back, cherrypick commits squash them revert them etc.

So I didn't commit anything at all... Now if I were to commit the commit would modify 2 files, create 26 new files and delete 2 files.

The changes include moving from JS to TS, implementing a desearialization scheme, implementing a server class and wrapper client classes, with common type interfaces for different requests...

So now I need to save my changes somewhere, go back to the last commit and slowly incorporate the changes.

I'm dumb

Remember my friends

Fuck 2019. I still have one photo of 1/1/2019 on my instagram profile as my first photo with hopes to achieve what i was planning to achieve. But life happened. Things went wrong. Murphy's fucking law took over. Fuck you

Start fresh 2020. Learn from the mistakes. Expect more mistakes because they are inevitable. But do your best to NOT repeat the old ones.

We are going into the new decade. No more 201X year.

-Delete all negative energy
-Cleanse all BULLSHIT
-Remove everything weighting you down
-DETACH FROM THE PARASITE PEOPLE
-Stay with the real people
-Stay with family

2 more weeks until 2020

🙏🙏🙏

...just download our new app! NO! FUCK YOU! What do you think you deserve storage space and permissions on my phone? Make a responsive site or webapp or I will not use your service. Why does everything need a fucking app? Oh, you bought a new car? Download an app! New appliance? DOWNLOAD A FUCKING APP! Just bought a new Samsung phone, but already use all of Googles empireware? WELL HERE IS ANOTHER CALENDAR/MAIL/EVERYTHING APP FROM SAMSUNG THAT YOU CAN'T COMPLETELY DELETE! This needs to stop.
/rant
Thank you for listening

I wonder, are some apps on purpose made to be small size, but then later when you open them force you to download the actual data made with converting people that are low on space or dont want heavy apps to actual download numbers? since if they now after discovering that, delete the app - they already have boosted the downloads

I can understand pulling offline databases or game updates from own servers to get the newest data, but sometimes you come across apps that have no need in any of those and could just e.g. package the audio which will never be updated

Today I had my first ever prod db fuckup due to too wide where clause in delete query. Spent 8 hours restoring service. It's 02.09 now and I'm finally home, going to bed.

Interestingly enough I've enjoyed this experience...

Working for 5 months as a junior dev. I receive a request to check out a data issue at client, no one knows what is happening. I quickly find a data import issue and let everybody know. Few days later apparently issue is still not solved. A senior data consultant approaches me asking for help.
senior: 'So, any idea what's wrong with the data?'
me: 'Yeah, someone messed up the import. Just delete it and import it again.'
senior: 'How do you know?'
me: 'Because <insert valid arguments>'
senior: Wow, very clever. Amazing work. I wouldn't have thought about that. Great job'

A few moments later I receive an email from the senior with all the stakeholders in the cc: 'I found the problem and I have a solution <copy/paste my words>'

Stakeholder: Can you investigate the problem with this user profile? We made updates to system A, but user is saying it’s the wrong info on the website.

Me: Looks fine to me. Looks like your updates just needed time to trickle down. Though, you will need to clean up this user’s data because it can cause X problems. There’s not much I can do since the site just displays info from system A.

SH: Can you delete the user’s website account and we can ask user to create a new one?

Me: …Ok, let’s try this again. It’s not necessary to delete the account and make the user create a new one. It’s not going to resolve the X problems that I mentioned. The website really needs clean data from system A.

How to convince someone that it's not helpful to delete apps running in background (RAM) on an android phone? it's like a habit for that person😌
says phone will explode with too much RAM being used and don't want apps run in background ... 😥
pls help for arguments

::This app says you need at least 3GB RAM.

::> delete everything there, I don't need anything.

:: uaaaaa.... you can't (long pause... ) do that.

::> I don't need anything from the laptop, delete everything and make the app run.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (he had 2GB ram)

Why did the developer delete all the F’s from his code?

Because he didn’t give an F. 🥁

DELETE FROM 'users' WHERE id-1

Oops 😅 I meant id=1

Note to self: Always do a dry run first when you have --delete-before using rsync.

Long story short I wanted to restore some folders from my external HDD to the home directory on my laptop XD I should have specified the exact folders 😹

I just had to delete 60GB of files, just to install all of them again from 7 DVDs* because Rockstar can't be bothered to fix their download client.

I went down a rabbit hole of code changes to try and delete a stupid for loop with a break in it.

It was super stupid and I gave up and submitted to the fact that some battles are not worth the time and stress.

OK... But seriously, It was returning multiple entities from the database, but we only always want the first one. My logic is that we should just go in there and fix the LINQ so we are explicitly getting one entity out.

But fuck that logic. No I'll have to change fucking everything that's tied to that method and expects a list from it. Every fucking thing. That includes error handling, parsing, for loops..... Nevermind...

You can have your foreach and your break. I'm taking mine, now.

I need some time off. Just had this convo with a dev-manager about an 'issue' with our system change mgmt calendar (Blazor) app.

K: "In the system drop-down, it's not filtering when I type."
Me: "Let me check <I attempt to reproduce>, yep, not working. Do you get the same error? Looks like duplicate data from the database is causing a problem."
<this is over MS Teams, about 5 minutes go by with no response, then>
K: "No error, its not working."
<I find the bad data, delete it, TADA, the filtering is working again>
Me: "The filtering is working again, at least for me. You sure you didn't see an error?"
<wait 5 minutes again>
K: "No, no error."
Me: "You didn't see a little red banner at the bottom and in all caps..ERROR"
<send him a screen-shot of the error I still had in another tab>
K: "Yes, I saw that one, but no other errors. Filtering is working again. Thanks"

Official Postgres docs:

"If you simply write:

DELETE FROM products;
then all rows in the table will be deleted! Caveat programmer."

"Caveat programmer"... "Cavea...." "Cave..."

Someone out there is reading this with bloodshot eyes, 3 am, stuck reading this on repeat and prefers that The Ring movie is true and would rather take that...

This is also why you should always take a backup:

client.ExecuteNonQuery($"delete from {CategoryTable} where category_id-{id}");

7-zip fucked me over real bad today.

It decompressed 30 gigs of data (about half an hour), from a deeply compressed bz2 archive, then decided to throw an error and delete the decompressed data.

...

There goes my ambition for working on my side project

Fuck, I want to report a bug to KDE, but the more I think of it the more it looks like it's someone who implemented the shit.

It's a feature!

For some fucking reason KDE launcher overrides the commands from one of my programs with its shortcut entries. That's mostly OK.

Now, the problem is that if for some reason the shortcut goes broken, KDE makea sure it is stores in some sort of database, so that even if you delete it from the disk you will still have a broken link overriding the real command.

Until here it's OK. The thing is that, if you delete the shortcut , you will be prompted with a message showing its contents, asking if is it secure to launch the corresponding shortcut?

I'm like, what? Man I deleted the file, there's no shortcut anymore, just let it go and show me the original command.

why would I want you to store previously deleted shortcuts so you may make sure I launch my programs through them?

PS: forgot to tell the whole problem started from a bug in another program, which for some nonsensical reason creates shortcuts calling system commands through itself rather than just calling them out. The result is that once this program is removed all the shortcuts it created no longer work.

I was helping a friend with her computer when an alert from the antivirus tells me there is a virus in the computer. I tried to delete it and the computer shows this alert (the translation would be something like: The action couldn't be performed as the file is a virus).

FUCKING WINDOWS I KNOW ITS A VIRUS SO LET ME DELETE IT. 😩😩

I don't know why people here dislike php

It's been 3 years since I was introduced to php and I never find it unworthy to be used in my project at all

Last night it was my first freelancing project and the guy asked me to scrap a table from a stock market website in vba script and append the table values to the excel sheet. That looked easy, I kid you not, from the image he sent me that looked too easy.

I decided to accept it, fml. Cause that site was using fucking cookies and javascript to load the table values.

There was no way to implement shit that in vba under my current knowledge.

Let's fuck this shit and jump to php, I inspected the site and found a cookie was enabling the site to load another part of the site through GET request.

Once I knew what was holding that GET request url, curl came to rescue. I attached cookies and sent the request header and parsed the ajax script url and fetched the response (table data).

Parsed the fetched data using explode and Voila! I made the fucking working script in php

As for the vba script, I wrote code to get this csv, append it to the file and delete the csv

As many of you might know, the PYX servers are down. It happens that I run an Android client for PYX, that was obviously a tragedy for me. I didn't give up and I've immediately setup a backup server, then due to lack of resources I had to shut it down, but I provided a list of servers run by other people.

Yesterday I've updated the app once again to do some fixing. Today, this guy leaves a review: "Absolutely useless until they bring back the servers. Why update the app when literally NOBODY is playing??"; Why am I updating the app?! Jesus Christ, why can't I update my app?!?! Should I delete it from the Play Store just because some servers are down? I get it, there are a few people playing, but please, don't fucking say that the app is useless.

This kind of people makes me very angry.

"Hi X,
Y stepped down from organizing meetup Z.

You are one of the top members of this Meetup, so I think you have what it takes to be a great organizer. Stepping up would help ensure that this community continues to survive past [date in the near future]."

Third time I get a message like this from meetup. Usually followed up by threatening to delete all group data forever if no one "steps up" (e.g. pays their bills). F***ing vendor lock-in! They have been colleting and publishing data for years only to blackmail people to continue using their services.

Some meetups (at least in my region) have switched to LinkedIn, so we will surely receive messages like above from LinkedIn in a couple of years.

So, I feel a sleep at my desk for about 15 minutes. Only to awaken with drool down my shirt. I then proceeded, while half sleep, to delete 58 rows from the DB...O.o

Hahahahaha good thing it was only on my machine.

Can we delete snow from existence

A few weeks ago I ordered 2 8TB HDDs so they can run in RAID 1 on my server. Then I discovered that one of them isn't working.
So I sent it back to seagate and got a new fresh one today. I thought I would install it in my server and everything will be fine ...
First thing was to backup all files on the already working HDD and delete the volume, but windows already put a pagefile on it so I needed to deactivate it.
Restarted and notice that windows wasn't doing anything so I deactivated it again and now the wonderful text "Getting Windows ready screen" appeared and after minutes of starring at a non moving image I force-restarted the server and eventually I could delete the volume.
I activated mirroring and thought "I'm ready to go". After 15 Minutes of waiting, the text changed from "Formatting" to "Formatting (1%)". The only thing I wanted to do was yelling ... Thanks Windows .... thanks

When Windows tells me I require permission from my own user account to delete or modify contents of a folder...

...makes me wish I still used Linux...

...but many of my favorite PC games don't work with Wine...

...so I guess I just have to suck it up and reboot my damn computer so I can delete this folder. 😡

48 hours.
We had 3 weeks of "manual data collection": pencil, paper and a dozen of people around all the offices of the company with the task to collect serial numbers of every piece of equipment used.
Then we had 3 weeks of data entry, a dozen of people copying all handwritten data to a custom made VB form.

And then there was me, the guy that was in charge of verifying, zipping and sending the data to the client. I spent 48h non stop to go through everything, finding, fixing or delete unusable data.
I had to delete at least 25% of the data because incomplete or completely unusable (serial numbers too short or too long, for example).
48h in the office.

The data was then delivered to the customer. 2 days after, when I finally woke up, everyone was in panic because:
- serial numbers were not matching
- addresses were wrong
- the number of delivered records was smaller than expected

What did I learn from this experience?
When your deadline is tomorrow, and you need 4 weeks to complete your work, ignore the deadline and inform everyone at any level that you are ignoring the deadline. And then resign and find a better job.

Ah, yes, pencils and paper are powerful tools, but rat poison too. You just need to use them in the right place. The only data collection that can be trusted when done with a pencil is the one involving checkboxes.

I had been struggling with writing some test cases for days - so I decided to delete all the test methods I'd written and start from scratch - took me less than 30 minutes!

I'm happy now

During my high school days, I pitched an idea of an Antivirus. That would “hack” any origin computer that was being used to hack the destination computer.

Another idea I had was to deploy a virus, which was meant to be harmless, and would stay dormant while it replicated itself. Once in enough systems, I would “command” it to delete a certain photo from every computer that would ever exist.

The second idea came to me after the bullying of Amanda Todd.

Hey Guys
So... I Have a question / rant / frustrated commenting to do...
WHY THA FUCK DO FIRMWARE TAKE SO LONG TO UPDATE!!!
been configuring my webserver and 2 p2p cameras to access from the outside, and for each click or change can take 1 to 5 minutes to implement...
And then, like 6 or 7 hours latter I notice that everytime the port wasn't associated, a small label in like size8 text shows that port is already in use...
And... Da FUCK??
I'm associating the ports myself... how can port 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, ... be In use?
I have my server in 80, WebDav e another non relevant port, and trying to find open ports for the p2p cams...
Fuck I'll just delete all that services that no one uses and are pre configured, like, emule? napster? FifaPC? WTF? I never played Fifa, don't like socker. KaZaA SERVER? WTF why does this shit comes pre-configured?
Btw I'm writing this while I wait for the router to finish every time :p

delete random, unused column from production database
entire app blows up
re-release last change on code pipeline
everything works beautifully
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

exit from life with code 0 without ctrl-alt-delete and kill -9

Delete completely a project and start from zero.