When you SSH into a machine and then SSH back into yours, you know you are drunk.

Ranted about that porn work prank.

Forgot a joke the senior linux engineer pulled with me.

I came back from the toilet and sat down. Logged in. Cursor was on the left screen. Looked away and then back. Cursor was on the right screen.

*wait what? hmm must be my memory.*
*looks away and turns back*
*wait did that cursor just move.....?*
*damn what's up with me...?!?*
*turns around and looks back VERY quickly*
*cursor moves all over the screen*

*looks at front usb inputs*
*notices a wireless receiver*

*laughing from the corner where the senior linux engineer is sitting*

MOTHERFUCKER.

Cable Management was still a bit of a mess back then.

My brother logging in to my facebook to post "i m gayy".

Things were simpler back then.

After months of agonizing work I found out my team mate deleted my code cause they thought it was useless. Then they come back and ask if I KNOW WHERE THE BUG IS. I now realize how true this is.

CEO hired graphics designer without HR help after first meeting and that person first day of his work borrowed money from people and that’s not end of story.

Same guy came back at night and robbed the workplace with his friends, didn’t came back to work. Company bought couple of big iMac for new graphics department back then, all gone.

When company reported incident to Police it turned out he travel and steal from companies all over the country and they’re trying to catch him for a year.

Does anyone else get irrationally annoyed when a team member says "Hi" via slack/messenger etc. and then nothing else until you say "Hi" back, and only then describes what they want?

Dahhhhhh. Stop wasting my time. Just ask what you want.

Dug out my 15 yr old childhood PC today, the stickers back then were surprisingly honest

When I was a kid I used to play on my old Pentium computer all night after my mother sleeps. One night she caught me playing, she pushed the cabin from the table and broke it 😵. After then I tried to fix it and succeeded. Since then started learning about computers and now a back end engineer..

Have you ever wondered, you "Hello World" then who "hello" back to you, and this is the truth...XD

When the inventor of the USB stick dies, they'll gently lower the coffin, then pull it back up, turn it the other way, then lower it again.

I sometimes write code by first putting comments and then writing the code.
Example
#fetch data
#apply optimization
#send data back to server
Then i put the code in-between the comments so that i can understand the flow.
Anyone else has this habit?

TFFW you regret the decision of using “truecrypt” on a hard drive back in 2012......... and then forgetting the key...

Yesterday I won an old Mac mini at work, then I lost it on the bus back home, but got it back today. What a roller coaster of emotions 😅

I wish we could branch out our lives like in git. Just fork at critical decision points, try out both/ multiple outcomes simultaneously, then reconcile and merge back into master.

Undev life
"If I'm ever on life support, unplug me .......and then plug me back in, see if that works"

Jobless.
Nah, just kidding.

I'm a qualified teacher, so I have that to fall back on.

That or fixing things, I suppose. I would then design something to corrupt that AI and then I can get hired back when the AI starts its reign of terror.

"Oh no! The AI became sentient and started intentionally fucking code up (and then proceeding to manically laugh at it ((ha...ha...ha...)! Who can save us?"

"I have a team of highly skilled devs, programmers, and a dude who works in a cellphone shop at my disposal. devRanters assemble! (then I just fuck up the code I made initially to make them sentient and commit it - problems solved.)

When you get used to async web programming and then come back to desktop java/c#. Oof.

Manager asked intern to bring coffee during meeting

Intern came back with an empty cup and his mouth full of coffee which he emptied into the cup

Since then, I have not seen the Intern at office.

Programmer boyfriend: you should come back to programming

Me: why?

PBF: then we can work together

Me:

Hello! I am Johnny Knoxville and tonight on Jackass...we test in prod with no back out plan in place...and then I will glue Bam's hand to his dick while he's sleeping.

If you're stuck....take a break away from the keyboard. Go outside and take a couple of deep breaths. Talk to someone about something not work related. Then get back in and look at the problem with fresh eyes.

in python script; a for loop inside a recursive function to slow down stdout. i don't know time.sleep(n) back then

Accidentally come across this. I guess I was pretty annoyed back then.

Once I had been sick for a couple of weeks. Then came back to this abomination

Didn't make me feel any better 😨

A QA engineer walks into a bar, and orders a beer.
Then he orders 0 beers.
Then he orders 99999999999 beers.
Then he orders an ahzuzydhu.
Then he orders nothing.
Then he orders -1 beers.
Thrn he orders NULL.
Thrn he orders jzuzuj beers.
Then he orders a "<script>giveMeYourCreditCard()</script>"
Finally, he leaves without paying, comes back and asks for the tab.

Heard this one a while ago and wanted to share it here 🙃

So I used to be a chef, then I got married and decided my weekends and holidays were better spent than making food for ungrateful shit-wagglers, or getting screamed at in Lebanese by the exec Chef during dinner service at the end of a ten-hour shift, so I went back to school for Computer Engineering. I was so worried because I swore compulsively from day one of classes.
Little did I know way back then, the first programming language I ever learned was swearing.

That moment when u created a project and quite some folks forked it and continued their own versions, but then you realised that you've made a little mistake back then so now your dumb code propagated across humanity.

¯\_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯

Microsoft, if I click the "Update and shut down" button it means I want you to update and shut down, not do a third of the update, shut down then wait for me to turn the computer back on for you to finish! Why can't it just do the update, reboot as necessary then shut down once it's all done?

watched a client use IE, all the while they didn't use tabs or even a new window, every time we had to go back to a previous site they had to Google the URL then click the search link

about one and a half years ago I wrote my first application ^-^
it generates a little christmas tree with lights on the CLI.
and I still feel the same joy as back then when something actually works out :)

So this is my first game I've ever created. I was 10 back then:

Never put more than 1 sentence in an email. People never fucking read more than the first line. Then they fire back an email with questions you already answered. Arghhh bastards.

When you write code and forget to comment it, and then you come back and try to figure out why the heck you wrote certain parts of it.

Let this be a lesson for future me.

Found this sweet floppy at my parents place yesterday.
I dont even know if 1.44MB was alot, average or a little back then.

Was updating a legacy website when I came across this gem... Gotta wonder what was going on back then

Guys, I think it's time to fight back!

Whenever a client ask you about IE9 support, tell him to find someone else, because noone the fuck uses IE9 and if someone somehow does, then it's his fault!

Then he will search for other dev, but if we all do so, we can forget about supporting stupid old shit again!

Clients who don't get back to you for weeks and then suddenly need it done urgently. Just once I would love to say "sorry, booked up, no can do."

And then they never returned back..

First contact with computers: draw a square using LOGO language. No idea which was the computer back then.

That moment when you accidentally click on upvote button & click it back to undo it & then, clicking it again so the person who posted doesn't feel bad.

Once my fuckin annoying colleague replaced all console.log to alert in our hybrid app..

And back then my testing logs used to be idiotically profane :|

Needless to say, I faced the fuckin wrath of clients :/

It was around 14:55, I had no energy, and was ready to call it a day, but then I messaged my boss on slack, "Ballmer Peak". He comes back 5 mins later and my desk looked like it this.

- Sent from my iPhone

You know what? I'm gonna take that iPhone, smear it with my dog's shit, stick it down your throat, beat you up until you shit it out and then stick it right back into you ass!

the first program ive written in my own programming language

schreibe
{
hallo welt
}

i didnt know about parsing back then, so everything was its own line

Networking class. We're learning to configure switches, or at least trying to. A full hour goes by and the thing is not making a single beep. I frustration we lean back. Then my friends sees it. We never plugged in the power cable.

Hate it when you're on the verge of fixing a bug when suddenly someone asks you for something, then you lose your train of thought and you're back to square one 😭

From 'Javascript' then 'jquery' 😬 then 'angular 1' 😐..wait their is 'angular 2' damn this just a new framework compared to angular 1.(back-end) 'Nodejs' 😩, wait! you have to learn 'Express' after sometime upgrade to 'Hapi' wait now am on 'loopback' can't we just have one standard framework 😣😣😣

sometimes in my head i go through code i wrote some time ago and think: "did i think of this case? if that happens something could go very wrong." when i look at the code i see that i already thought about it and catched the case back then. then i am like "daaaamn i am good".
do you know that feel? :D

My coworker can't be bothered with learning git branching, so he comments out significant functionality during testing and then comments it back in before go-live. What could possibly go wrong?

Had a company BBQ lunch today then someone turned on some dumb movie and everyone is sitting around laughing at it. I'm like how soon can I leave and get back to coding without looking rude....

Ever stopped coding for a few weeks and then you came back and you feel like a bloody greenhorn?

When you discover this new amazing programming language and play with it the whole weekend and then realize it’s Monday again and you need to go back to the office to work with some legacy GOTO spaghetti... 🍝🌧

Back in school a class mate used a bat file to recursively create a directory an then enter it and repeat.

The directory also ended with ascii 255 which looks like a space and when placed at the end is invisible.

This was in msdos and there was no mouse or autocomplete, also no deleting of non empty directories.

The teacher finally gave up and admitted he could not solve it.

You had do make a new script first to traverse to the inner most dir, then recursively back trace removing directories.

When I got my first PC the famous Pentium 1. It just hooked me. The struggle was real back then tho....

Top advice to give to a new dev? Go back in time and download devRant, then buy a rubber ducky. Yes, I finally got mine 👍🏻

I fucking love how the Cyberpunk 2077 disaster goes down... and then, silently, Kerbal Space Program 2 pushes their launch date back again by another year.

Lol, is someone a little afraid? Take your time, boys.

Back then it was for kids. Today i think it wil be torture for them.

Ps my first language was assembly (not judging)

When reading your old code, there are two feelings you may have:
1. I was such a dumbass back then
2. I was so thoughtful back then

If its #2, seek a position outside development, like product management, your coding career is probably over.

Sometimes I miss programming, but then I look at my programmer boyfriend's code and I'm like, "Never mind, I'm okay," and I go back to being carefree and happy while he's going grey from the stress. 🙆🏽

I had a genuine respect for C++ developers back in 2001

Then this whole STL thing happened. Then C++11, C++14....C++17

Me now: Bitch do they even write code 🤣🤣

Hello there! I’m back from the /dev/null to rant about how my teacher marked the “the new C# syntax” as a mistake.

I’m really sorry, but this “new feature” is a thing since 2015 - back then, iPhone 6s got released, Barack Obama was still the US president and the only Corona people cared about was the beer.

!rant
Got my stickers a few weeks ago, but did not post anything back then, sorry. Still, thanks a lot!

Might just give the extra stickers to friends :)

On my last project the customer gave really high reviews and asked me back as a senior engineer. First day back I meet the new PM and ask what I'll be working on.

He responds, "We have a printer that's not working..."

Of course I'm like wtf but then it quickly becomes apparent I'm writing the interface instructions between the software and printer....

Still, I'm back as over priced tech support to fix a printer!

How did y'all survive when devRant was down for maintenance?

I personally played Fifa 17 on my ps4 then quit in the middle of a game when I saw that devrant was back online. :D

The feeling of looking back at some old projects and coding exercises and then realise how much you have improoved

:')

Anybody else feeling it after Chester Bennington's death recently? I'm nearly 30 years old, so I listened to him a lot through my teenage years. Linkin Park was practically my favorite band back then. I'm pretty bummed out man. 😔

Damn.

When you're on DevRant reading a rant, have to Google what their talking about and then come back to upvote it like you knew.

Apparently I can't follow devrant clearly when I'm drunk.
Going to YouTube to watch cat videos for a few hours. Then I'll be back.

When your internal timezone automatically changes over the weekend and you have to get it back to "normal" but then somehow end up not sleeping at all 😅😐😑😪

Is this here your bloody fucking diary?!

Then maybe back the fuck off to Insta and Fagbook commercials Stockholm syndrome circle jerk. Right where your mind is at ease.

PM and UX designer talks.

About a feature on android with viewpager (swipeable views) and a header with buttons.

PM : We need a back button and a close button on the header.
UX : A customer will be confused by both, with the swipe too.

PM : Then we need a close button alone.
UX : Customer will search for back button and not everyone might swipe left.

PM : We need a back button alone.
UX : Customer might not know how to close the view. He can't keep going back back back.

PM : we don't need any buttons.
UX : Customer should find it easy to close or go back.

PM : bruv.

Old team that screwed me over now comes back being all nice to ask me for help...

Me: **fake smile** Hi... (what can I do for you monkeys)

Then proceeds to do a Google search and gives them a link... idiots....

Twitter has become just like Facebook now, where if you click on something interesting and then press the back button everything will be fucking gone. this shit is horrendous and not how webbrowsers work. I don't know what apeshit thought of this but it needs to stop. The back button takes me back to where I was. not to new content.

Almost finished writing some code, then got distracted by devRant. Now I'm back to post about it. MUST FINISH CODING! DAMN YOU DEVRANT!

3 years later and there are still members from back then, that's so cool :)

New boss gets us to work overtime, all weekend and till 9pm. Promising that we will get that time back.

We get the project through the door. His KPI looks great to his boss. He then slithers his way around hints about this time back. Someone confronted him today and he says he can't officially recognise the over time due to company policy. The fucker.

I'm about to finish university and I look back at some of my projects and homeworks from my Programming Fundamentals class back in semester 1...
WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS I THINKING BACK THEN!!!

I only created a fucking class, a FUCKING EMPTY CLASS

Cancel button does nothing, obviously.
After 30 seconds or so, everything is back to normal. This shit reminds me of the "good old days" with Eclipse.
I hated Eclipse back then, and I fucking hate VS now

Legitimately haven't written a single piece of code in months... I feel truly broken!

Haven't even done my usual of prototyping 456 things and then immediately shelving them, maybe it's time to get back in the game

Tfw you *have* to tell the client it's *technically* possible, but at the cost of work and complexity... and they come back with "let's simplify the whole thing then" *.*

I hope and wish that a big company will support/back up VueJS. Maybe then VueJS can be commonly seen as a job requirement.

Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk?

If Front end is your gf
Then back end is what?

When you snap at the other Developer because you SWEAR your bug fix push corrected the issue, to then be put back in your place...realizing the other Developer was right...humble yourself

When someone is presenting their code for aspects of a terribly made page.

They know you are proficient in 6 different languages, and then still ask "is it too hard for you".
Holding back my comments, just sitting down and smiling inside.

Had a burnout at my last job when I worked myself to the bone to cope with stress, a failing relationship and not having much money. Also, made a crap ton of mistakes at work because of it.

Didn't sleep much, started skipping lunch to save what little money I had so I could commute (friends treated me every now and then, still grateful), dropped out of college because couldn't juggle work, studies and got chewed out by my family every day and just worked non-stop.

The end result was that I collapsed when I got home one night and woke up at 3 am with a severe migraine; stayed awake till sunrise then left for work again (got scolded really badly by everyone, felt loved). Fun times.

250 errors in 3 applications this morning.

Then I merged two pull requests that I created yesterday and the error graph started decreasing. After 30 minutes the error count is back to 0.

I hate knowing that there are ton of ways doing something but cant just figure it out which is the best and then having to come back and change it. I know it is part of learning and becoming experienced but still...

Just spent an hour looking at the NYC Subway maps vs the direction Google wanted me to take.

Google found the most efficient way is to take E train then transfer to R which then goes back a bit like a U-turn to get to my stop.

Then looking at the subway map, I can just take the R train... Since none of these trains are express... How the fuck did Google think that A-B-C is faster than A-C....

redevelop an entire application within 24 hours for the same pay. Yeah, no that didn't happen surprisingly. And then when the client realised I was offering a great price he came crawling back😂

*It's too early*

Opened a rant and read it, then I started furiously started double tapping before I realized that that does not work there.

EDIT:
wait that works, I should really go back to bed.

I forget to commit changes when I get something working. Then regret it when I monumentally screw something up and have nothing to fall back on

When a two programmers meet in public and they start to talk loud
Then.....
You notice people look like (o_o) and watching
And a sound from the back saying "what are you saying?"

If microsoft developers were ever on life support, we should unplug then plug them back in and see if that works!

Ok so we just signed a new client with some "artificial intelligence" back-end...

To authenticate with their back end, they developed a FU**ING GET REQUEST so the username and password are passed in the URL.

Then we get a token that we pass in FU**ING GET REQUESTS to communicate with their "artificial intelligence enhanced" back end.

I can't even. I just can't.

Ever get assigned a defect like this?

First click any radio button and hit the Next button. Then on the next screen click some buttons and hit back button. Then hit next, change a radio selection, hit back, then next, then back, then next and eventually page will bomb out.

Wtf am I supposed to do with this?!

Sometimes I wonder how software development in (bigger) teams worked in the 90s.

Take the first Pokémon games for example. It was the mid-90s and the final product would be Assembler code that goes onto a cartridge with limited space.

I believe version control systems didn't really exist back then (Git & Mercurial: 2005, SVN: 2004). So probably people took backups of the chunks of code they worked on, copied around a stitched-together code, threw everything together at the end of the day, etc. etc. ...

Does anyone here know if there is some kind of documentary about that topic or did anyone here experience that first-hand?

It would be really interesting to see how that stuff worked back then 😊

Semantic bug:

Updooting someone's rants until you scroll down and realize they're the same person who said a moronic thing you have already downdooted in the past.
Then contemplating if you should take all the updoots back. 😐

I don't get what's happening with trolls here. Or people who are trying to be trolls.

Ostream got brutally trolled and deleted his account. Then came back with an alt account.

Same with Alexanderr, Nanos, Chaosesqueteam.

I am not siding with anyone, idc who's right or who's wrong, but there's one golden rule for trolling that you should know, before u attempt to be one -

If you can't handle people clapping back at you or if you don't have thick skin, then don't bother.

I love when you stare at a problem for like an hour, then go eat a burrito, ten come back and instantly realise the solution

Getting a ticket that a feature is having problems when you triple-click it. Otherwise it works fine.

I'm so close to write them simply back: "Then don't fuckin do it?"

I didn’t really choose, I just happened to learn C# as one of the 3 first languages I learnt back then. It landed me multiple jobs and that’s about it really 🤷‍♂️

Physically copy the git project's folder, change his terminals directory into it to test then move the files he edited to the original folder and commit back.

Call me crazy, but I'm pretty sure no java code should be able to jump from the if block to the else block, and then back to the if statement, ahen trying to initialize an object

Gotta love recruiters... Got contacted for a position a couple days back through LinkedIn, talked a bit back and forth, and set up a call for today.

I get up early for the call, prepare and then I get the call.

Caller: "So have you graduated yet?"

... Fucking look at my LinkedIn, can a degree be completed in a year? Yeah, thought so...

DevRant needs a save for later option... I see lots of long interesting posts, I start reading them and then something comes up (like a phone call or I need to do something). Then by the time I come back the post is gone, and I’m sad...

Finalising my Master's thesis just before the deadline was an all nighter in which I coded a lot.

Back then it was all Matlab!

When the client wants backend access because they've been "coding since 1983" and then comes back saying they can't find the "hidden pages" :/

The best AH-HA moment is the ones that you just can't get your mind around and then go for a coffee break.

Come back to your desk and then ... bam! There it is!

Thanks, coffee ☕

A while back I spent weeks cleaning up our 20 or so .scss files, then went on vacation. Our backend guys were left alone to "float: left" and "position: absolute", literally everything.

Back when I was younger, I used to do concreting. And our boss was an old school type of prick.

Pissed off one guy so much that the guy literally hurled a shovel at him lol. Then quit.

That feeling when you spend hours trying to fix something, only to give up.

Then you come back he next day and find you were missing a comma...

According to many of the rant posts, I am not a programmer.

I wake up 8 in the morning, eat breakfast at home and then get to the office at 9. Work till noon and then enough 1 hour lunch, back from lunch work till like 6-7 pm, have dinner at office then head to the gym workout for an hour to an hour and half and then head home, shower and sleep at 11:59 pm.

For some reason my wife was watching me reading away at devrant and then says:

Wife: You are missing your protection!
Me: ehh what ....
Wife: Let me fix that.

Then she comes back with a ... wait for it ... green yellow striped glitter apple sticker for my webcam.

I don't know if I should be proud of my wife or ashamed of myself for not a replacement yet.

Question: how does my phone know where I took the picture?
me: when it shows you the image after you take it then the phone writes on the back of the picture where it happen.

Just graduated in CS.
All jobs required experience in stuff I never seen/heard before (back then I didn’t know most job listings were copy pasted by people who knew less than me).
I felt so inadequate that I replied to a job offer as a seller as they asked only fluency in 2 foreign languages.

The company owner during the interview looked at me and told me I needed to look elsewhere, that mine was a good resume and then he dropped this:
“I can see you are a good guy, but for this job I need an asshole”

Back then it was very hard for me but now I understand

"Aww yeah, Bootstrap 4 is coming!"

Shut up bitch! I started 2 years back with web development when I was a noob and since then you are coming.

Trying to figure out why the damn error keeps appearing - then I realized I was refreshing the /Error page instead of going back to /Login for each of my tests.

Spent 2 hours trying get ng-model working with <select> with no success. Then co worker came and changed model from string to object and moon walked back to his seat.

I’ve been debugging all day. I finally nailed it down to the final error message but then when I fix it ALL THR OTHERS CAME BACK LIKE ON SOME NECROMANCY BULLSHIT.

Who is that genius at Microsoft thought about that if adding a new email to outlook on Android and credentials are wrong, CLOSE THE WINDOW AND GO BACK TO SETTINGS!!

Error message says wrong username/password then let me fucking fix them not go back and enter everything from scratch (outgoing, incoming servers, username, password)

Fuck this shit -_-

I hate giving estimates, especially for projects when you hardly know the codebase. But yet everybody expects you to deliver everything and everything on time.
Just get off my back maybe then I can actually finish something.

Thank you for listening. <3

you know what was fun?
Back in 2012, I started developing an app for the windowsphone (7 back then) which was basically an offline backup navigation for pilots with a few extras likr weather data for pre flight planning.

It was so cool doing all this back then, because there weren't many wp devs out there.

Microsoft even sent me 6 different phones (straight from Redmond) to play with (and keep them).

Those were the days 😀😀

I keep jumping between unfinished personal projects and then i get busy with the job, when I try to go back to them, I lose interest! Any advice?

Checking for a hardcoded password and submitting User and password in a hidden Input each time.

Didn't know about Sessions back then

When you're trying to solve a problem and you're spinning your head around then you check your phone and see the co-founder of a service you love just liked your rant.

You feel like: awee!! thank you 😍

Then you get back to work with some good portion of dopamine in your head to support you

Thanks again for this service 🙏

Broke: logging into GitHub to pull changes from a private repo

Woke: changing the repo from private to public, pulling unauthenticated, and then changing back to private.

Flash new OS on it.
bricked my phone back then

After your boss side tracks your udemy course to learn something else and then going back to that course after a month like "wait what the hell is this alien language"

Devrant freezes when switching to different app then back again. A bit random though, has happened a couple of times but can't reproduce it.

When you make a goofy username but then your computer sleeps during a presentation with investors and you need to log back on.

"Cheesy McChunkerson"
**********

When I got X up and running at 1am for the first time on my first computer, 486 SX 25MHz with 8 MB or ram.

The program SuperProbe is probably depicted now, but it got me up and running back then.

Been working on a back-end server for one of my apps. Then I discovered Firebase. The way I code apps will change forever now. I've deleted all my back-end code and migrated to Firebase.
Firebase is like the new Parse.io, I love it

Companies be all excited when you're available immediately but then be in no rush to get back to you

Quick nap. Then back to work

I got handed over a project that has hundreds of lines of commented codes, some dating back to 2013. I am then told not to delete those as we "might need them". WHAT DO YOU NEED A 4 YEAR OLD COMMENTED CODE FOR???

When ryzen released I bought a 1700x a little while after with 3600 cl15 memory.

Back then it only ran at 3.6ghz cpu and 2800 mhz cl16 memory.

Now im on 3.75 ghz and 3333mhz cl14.

I honestly didnt expect this to happen

The moment when you can't get something working for the love of God, you call a colleague who suggest the simplest and already tried out solution, which magically now works.

Then he goes back to his place and your code breaks again.

If there are any older devs on here, (pre StackOverflow) what did debugging look like back then? Rifling thru language manuals?? Diving into source code ??

I'm super curious

Code in index.php: if(!isset($_COCKIE['access'] == '123') {
echo 'Denied'; die;
}

And then there was the access.php which set the cookie.

So you had to go to foo.com/access.php which displayed a white page and set the cookie. Then navigate back to foo.com for access

I hate leaving work late, stuck on a bug and 10 miles down the road heading home, figure out a solution and then argue with myself do I go back and fix it now with no distractions or write it down ... then in the morning I’ll do it but bear with distractions... or not write it down .. hope I remember and then do it in the morning

But I’ll probably get distracted.: forget .. then remember after everyone leaves and implement it tomorrow night .. lol

Aber method that was supposed to Check If a payment for a (back then) unimplemented payment methode that returns true as a default value...

A Javascript oneliner to skip the payment... Used to be in produktion for years, before I reported it

I type "sudo apt-get install ..." then I delete the line back till apt and again write the whole fucking statement cause linux wished to save my time in 16.04...

I think I will spend some valuable time on devRant and then go back to sleep.

I officially gave up on this semester of college! ✨🍻🎉
I'm coming back next year, but until then, I'm glad to disappoint my family

Cat just attacked my keyboard, which was quite funny. Took some pics and entertained it for a bit.

Then I looked at my IDE.

Lost all of today's work because the cat somehow managed to press keys to delete it and then type enough that undo won't recover my code...

That cat is my arch nemesis now... And then it tried to jump back on, which I put a swift end to.

😭😭😭

Myself. Two minutes of googling a problem turns into an hour of reddit/youtubing things totally unrelated. Then I need to go back to searching for the original solution.

that moment when you wait two weeks for client confirmation then he comes back with minor or silly edit then goes again another two weeks...

Convinced someone to start using ubuntu. Now we spent 25 mins getting mySQL and workbench to work. He was getting pretty frustrated, but then we got it working and he was so happy about it.

Now he knows.
No turning back.

Yesterday I wanted to make a small infographic. I started with photoshop, switched to illustrator, then indesign, then back to illustrator. All of them have super shitty quirks when it comes to work like that.
Next time I will just build it as a website and screenshot it. Elegance of code-based design is just unmatched. It brings reusability, consistency and precision to another level.

In school i had to do a simple HTML site(i was 13 back then). And i started writting it in guess what... Notepad
Thats how i felt in love with bare code

We are not interested in your skills right now, but is it ok if we keep your details to maybe contact you in the future?

8/9 never hear ever from then again.

1/9 so i wasn’t good enough for you back then, and now that i have a job i am? Go f* yourself!

We were in the process of signing up an enterprise company. We sent them a spreadsheet requesting a list of all of their staff so that we can create user accounts for all of them. That dumb shit at the company printed out the spreadsheet and then filled out the printouts using her pen and then took a photograph of it and emailed it back to us.

I loved my Watch, i wore it everyday, and even bought a premium bracelet 40 euros or so... then, THE FUCKING BACK OF THE WATCH FELL OFF! LIKE THE FUCKING BACK! So i returned it... AND THESE CUNTS SEND ME A FUCKING REPLACEMENT WITHOUT MY FUCKING BRACELET! WHICH FUCK DID THIS! WHO CAME UP WITH THIS FUCKERY! FUCK!

There was a time i disliked middle managers (because i thought they were useless and just making bank for sending emails and doing meetings) but then a couple of them took sick leave for a few days and then i realized how important they were. When they came back, i was almost crying with joy 🤣

I've been using Git since 2014. So why do I STILL cringe whenever I have to revert commits or do a hard reset back to HEAD? What's going to disappear? What will remain? Will my entire Git history be vaporized? It's a total game of Russian Roulette to me. So, without the certainty level I want, I just do what feels safer...I grab the versions of the files I think are what I need and stick them back into my repo, then git status and commit the correct changes back in.

When you have an important presentation and you are so ready for it, and then you find out you forgot to pack your charger and that you didn't back up the presentation somewhere online and nobody in your entire tech savvy college has a charger compatible with your fancy ass gaming laptop and now you have to commute all the way back and come back in time to do the presentation.

I've had a terrible experience with Visual Studio's GitHub client. Then I found GitKraken. I'm never going back!

Always fun to come back to an older project to update stuff only to find your IDE and SDK updates have broke your old code base and you now need to debug and update a lot more then you initially wanted to. 😣

I turn it off and then back on.

Being off sick for two weeks and then trying to get back into your coding like "what was I doing?" I simply cant remember or know where to start!

You beat back all the lesser buzzwords, but then you round the corner to face the ultimate boss of buzzwords, a God amongst ads.

I hear Devs of all ages blaming everything on imposter syndrome. Everyone is scared and will get back stabbed by our rivals now and then. We cant build cool things if we don't suck it up and go balls out.

Biggest aha! moment was when i understood rust's borrowing and how much of a retarded piece of shit it was and then went back to scala yesterday

Still more fallout from Yahoo in 2003.

I thought back then we already established that MD5 hashing is not security?

found all my DDR1 that went missing recently

my dad stole it, put it in a RAM hardcase, then packed it in the back of his closet

he doesn't even have anything that accepts DDR1

what an asshole

Learn on a Commodore Amiga 500. All from books and shareware discs - no Interweb back then.

I will literally pull out you soul, grill it, and then put it back into you just to kill you, roll you up in nice mustard, pickles, bacon, pepper and salt and then roll you over with beef so I can properly make a roast and then, when you're ded, I will take your soul again to just torture it for all eternity.

....didn't have my coffee yet, guten morgen

People have good coding style right up until they use a new language, then it's like they're back at uni. Having to explain basic things like good names or what should be a member variable, don't add comments like "sets variable x"

How do you type with pairs of characters like () [] <> "" etc.?
Do you type them both, then move the cursor back and type the stuff inside or do you type the first of the pair, then type the stuff inside and then close it with the second of the pair?

I just realized I do both techniques, apparently randomly, which weirds me out.
Also my IDE often places the second character of the pair automatically.

Very true back then in life ...

me ={}

function me.returned()
error, login = http.submit("devrant.com", {"Rexzooly", "magicSource"}, 20);
if error == 200 then
//Ya I logged in
retrun true
else
me.resetpassword();
me.returned();
end
end

me.returned().

As the function kind of says ... I AM BACK and I remembered to reset my password :P

Get on devRant while compiling / waiting for results. Much time later I'm wondering how long that error message has been on my screen staring at me... and then I need to get my focus back into the code :(

Back then people used to edit their photos with OpenCV 😋

When the guy you are relying on to do an export for an app during a MISSION CRITICAL downtime exports the wrong data and drops offline... Then you find his number in an email... then you find out he is driving somewhere and will not be back at his computer for 30 minutes...

Thanks for staying up with me @joeygreen

I am having a weird ass Sunday.

Nanos deleted his account off of Matrix and devRant, apparently after I hurt him in a group chat.

Chonky boii went back 117 days to find a rant, then find my comment and then "slammed" me.

How's yours going?

It was some Toshiba laptop with Windows XP (back then fairly new) when I was 4. Playing Internarional Rally Championship.

You are a coder as well as dota addict and you see a good game just posted on YouTube. You don't come back then

I was messing around with global git precommit hooks.

Then I went on a holiday for a month, and forgot all about those hooks.

I came back, and then spent 2 days debugging why "git was behaving weirdly". I seriously started questioning whether I had ever even understood git at all. Turns out some moron (me) left some half-baked scripts lying around.

I'm such an idiot

All right then, my setup as well. I exchanged 2 24" for 1 40" 4k monitor and I'm never going back. Perfect for coding.

When you start your internship with zero knowledge of web development but then becomes responsible of back end web development. #learningthehardway #mybossCCgonnakillme

6 months exactly into my development career. Finally starting to understand the product and feel like I’m finally getting the hang of stuff. Then a DB task comes up and I feel like I’m back at square one.

Was in awe for the democratic potential of the worldwide web, and wanted to help realizing it. I was blind to its corporate potential back then.

Wearing socks for 12 hours straight is alright.
But wearing socks for 5-6 hours then taking them off for 5 mins and wearing them back again is weird.

My computer was too slow to play games back then soooo.......

Back in the day I was a website administrator. At one point it involved cropping images in Photoshop for 6 months then doing data entry to new website. Man that sucked.

Encouraged me to learn to program then became a web developer at the same company.

Back in high school, before I knew how to actually code, I wrote a paper about a theoretical "Social" Operating System. Back then, to me it seemed like an all-so innovative product.

I came across the document while looking through an old chat on facebook. Reading it now, it seems the operating system was just a basic linux system with a pretty UI.

36ish.

Because it was fun back then.

attempting to write 3 broker integrations for my fintech product today: TD Ameritrade, Tradier, and TradeStation...

starting with just the most basic possible: live bid / ask price, then will go from there...

will report back

will likely fail

🤡

So since elementary is based on Ubuntu 16.04 would it be possible to turn it back into Ubuntu but keep all my data then upgrade to 17?

Haskell is so funny like if you ask a function for some pizza, you get a bunch of pizza boxes back, and then when you want to put topping on the pizza you're like "hey can i like actually have the pizza now?", and then you realise you can't actually change the pizza so you make copies of them with the topping on.

Tech Lead = "Super quick question" + "one small doubt" back to back for 8 hours, then coding in the evening because making some progress is the only way to take the stress away. Rinse and repeat, while slowly developing an alcohol dependency. Be kind to your leads, kids.

Dealing with big projects can be troublesome at times. You take your mind off once and then it takes a lot of time to get back into it.

I go around the office judging other people's work in my mind. Then I go back to solving the problem with a renewed sense of self worth. haha

When the project manager gives you work then sods off to a meeting. You review the work and only been given half the info you need and impossible to complete. They then come back from the meeting and kick off it's not done!!!

For some reason I now wake up at 6am every day...

But after like an hour in bed reading emails/news, I feel tired and then go back to sleep till 9am...

Anyone else waking up early since wfh?

I've discovered the best time for me to write blogs!

6am... Now back to sleep 😪

Hmm... Not really dev related (but the post I will was...) Maybe I should also start using Twitter... But then I need to find followers....

!Rant

How do you get your motivation back?

I had so much motivation on the way home, then got to my desk and decided, I didn't have the motivation

Help!

Not using my period of unemployment to really delve into freelancing. It's much harder to do on the side. But I lacked knowledge and experience back then.

Also not interviewing companies better. Always ask about everything.

When your cybersecurity departement gets back your hacked servers but then the whole network is DDoSed!