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I use a lot of dev tools, but one of my favorites is the Linux screen utility. It's awesome to be able to keep shit running on servers whether my laptop stays connected tot he server or not. It's great for jobs that take a long time, can't get interrupted, etc.
If you haven't used screen definitely give it a try!14 -
Sometimes I feel frontend development is like ancient magic:
Backend Dev: Oh no, I can't align this DIV properly.
FE Dev: No worries!
* Casts Flexius Boxius on the DIV *
* Div aligns slightly better *
BE Dev: But it's not centered!
FE Dev: No worries!
* Casts Marginis Automaticus! *
* Rolls natural 1 *
* Everything collapses *
* Website is on fire *
* Product owner cries *
FE Dev: No worries!
* Casts Flexius Boxius level 5 on the parent div *
* Everything looks beautiful *
* People are in awe *
FE Dev: You are welcome!
* Adjusts his robe and leaves *8 -
This is the first time an IDE has apologized to me.
PS: Dev notes, crash reports etc are excluded. This is the IDE saying sorry I can't do it, no matter what.
11 -
A convo with my !dev colleague.
Her: Can i use your PC for a while?
Me: Yeah sure.
Her: Why is this so wierd? Why i can't refresh?
Me: It's Ubuntu.
Her: Man, this sucks, you should use windows 10, it's the latest!
End of Convo.
After that day, i heard her talking to my other colleague.
Her: "Go ask him. The one with the weird PC."
--------------------
SHOULD I KILL HER?22 -
Manager: "yeah so thanks for understanding we can't give you a payrise, by the way we need you to train the new guy we just hired who is your senior because even though he is more experienced than you as a c# dev he doesn't understand what an object is"
Me...
12 -
I am on nepal and we don't have international payment system. I have been sending email to dev writers for their book as I can't buy it from here and all of them send me their book for free. Its amazing :)15
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Dev : Every user in your organisation requires their own username and password...
User: Why?
Dev: Because if everyone uses one account, every note, product, message etc made by all the user's will be saved to that one account and confuse the he'll out of everyone using it when they can't find their 'own' information they made/captured/downloaded.
We just need the user emails.
User:We can't give you all the user emails just use one account ....
(The reason for not providing us the emails is purely cause it would require user to do work and that's out of the question)
Dev: Uhm ok, but this is not what you want, and *interrupts*
User: It is what we want, do it like that everyone will understand and it will make the system easier.
*Two weeks later*
User: Why is there only one account? Why doesn't everybody have their own account? This is not what we wanted.
... The shit you have to deal with when you are on holiday ...6 -
Me: *Installs travis*
Dev: oh what's travis?
Me: it's a continuous integration tool I wanna setup.
Dev: ... contin.... ?
Me: continuous integration, a tool that performs builds.
Dev: ah!, is it the new version of that deprecated tool we were using "client access"?
Me: ... no ... that's an authentication service that generates and stores oauth tokens. This is the continuous integration tool I told you about yesterday (and last week and the week before).
Dev: ... contin....
Me: ... con ........ continuous integration. It listens to branches on GitHub, downloads, builds, tests and then deploys the code.
Dev: ah ok ok, cool.
I would bet my monthly fucking salary he can not repeat what I said, tell me what oauth is, or explain what he's working on at the minute.
Jesus at this rate I'd bet my salary he can't tell me my name.7 -
"secure" messaging apps which aren't open source.
Isn't it common sense that, when you can't check an app for anything because it's closed source (backdoors, vulnerabilities etc), you technically can't be sure whether it's actually secure or not?
And no, I'm not going to trust an app dev on his/her blue fucking eyes on this one.28 -
Manager : Developers are always over optimistic.
Dev : this task will take 4 days.
Manager : can't you complete it in 45 minutes? What are the complexities involved?
Dev : okay. I can. Thinks ** I'm a ninja developer** and I can complete this.
*** finishes it in 4 days***
Manager : That's what I said. Developers are always over optimistic.
Developer : -_-3 -
I know this isn't Dev related but some people shouldn't own a PC. If your going to call me to drive half an hour to your house to show you how to open word because you can't take instructions over the phone you shouldn't own a PC.16
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Dev: Breaks unit tests
Same dev: Merges it to master anyway
Same fucking dev: Can't merge to master coz CI is screaming at you? Merge locally and FORCE push.
Me: Hi, I'm blocked. I can't merge to master coz of this failing test, can we get on a quick call and figure this out?
Same fucking fuckface dev: *after 3 fucking days* Yeah, I don't know why it's failing.. the results seem to be inconsistent..
Jesus Christ. I am so close to leaving this side-project because of the frequent shit I have to go through with this fucking idiot.
God I wish I didn't need the money.14 -
Dev: I'm going to a engineering and robotics seminar this weekend
Manager: Stupid. Waste of time.
Dev: I also got invited to go to a 2 day tech and innovation conference
Manager: Another a stupid waste of time.
Dev: The CEO's son invited me and is paying for it, he said he thought it would be interesting to me.
Manager: ...Well as long as it's not on company time
Dev: It is on company time, I won't have time for tickets
Manager: WHAT!? YOU HAVE TO SAY NO, WE ARE BUSY!! WE CAN'T NOT HAVE YOU FOR 2 DAYS.
Dev: Duely noted you said that and you think the whole idea is stupid. Take it up with him I already RSVP'd yes.
Manager: 😡😡😡😡😡😡7 -
Client: I need this very complex feature
Dev : Ok, give me approx 2 weeks, this is new to me, have to do r&d.
Client: I can't give you 2 weeks, you have 2 days.
Dev: Somehow manages to complete in 2 days.
After few weeks.
Client's representative : What's the progress on the new features?
Dev: You haven't mentioned any new features yet.
Client's representative: I don't care, it's been weeks now, here are more complex features, I need them tomorrow.
😕12 -
Senior Dev: "-bleep- I hate Javascript. It is such a pain to have to debug in Chrome"
Mgr: "Why are you 'having to' debug in Chrome?"
-in an almost 'you didn't know?' condensing tone -
Senior Dev: "Because you can't debug Javascript in Visual Studio."
Me: "Umm...pretty sure you can."
Senior Dev: "No, its impossible. I have to make a simple change in Visual Studio, save it, deploy all the files to the server, restart IIS, open up Chrome and use it's developer tools to find bugs. -bleep- Javascript sucks sooo bad."
-I do a quick search on stackoverflow-
Me: "No, I'm looking right at it on stackoverflow. You can debug Javascript in visual studio just like anything else."
- Mgr looks over and smiles, not trying to laugh -
Senior Dev: "Hey, did you watch that scene in Stranger Things...man thats a good show ..."
- other devs jump in to comment about the show, completely dismissing the VS/Javascript conversation -
Not sure WTF just happened.9 -
Full stack web dev has no idea what an ssh key is. He is telling me that he can't read the key file, it would be kind of me if I could send him a .txt file instead.
Fuck me man...5 -
I swear 90% of people who apply for a dev job couldn't code to save their fucking lives.
Like wtf? You can't apply for a job as a commercial pilot, then turn up and announce you've never flown a plane before, so why is that accepted as being somewhat expected in development?
Fucking hell....9 -
Dev: Hey, I need you to see something.
Client: ok
Dev: this is the models of those reports you need
Client: ok, wait, what is that number? This is wrong, we can't...
Dev: hey, calm down, this is not the production, it's just fake database!
Client: ah, ok.
(5 minutes of explantion)
Dev: so, what do you think?
Client: just one point, that data is very very wrong, we need to change this ASAP!7 -
!dev
If you ever feel like having a good laugh, just watch a flat-earthers video/live-stream.
I can't understand how something like this can even happen, it's so insanely ridiculous.
HOW THE FUCK CAN A HUMAN BEING LIVING IN 2018 BELIEVE THAT THE EARTH IS A FLAT DISC WITH A GLOBE ABOVE IT.12 -
You know scrum is working when the dev team are feeling that scrum isn't working because they have nothing to do because the product team can't keep up with the pace.4
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[when starting out with web dev] Just use bootstrap!
Please don't. I teach web dev now, and when people learn a framework initially, they often get a warped and incomplete understanding of how things work. They spend their time learning the framework instead of learning the systems they're actually working with, and then when the want to do something the framework can't do, they're just at a loss.
Don't get me wrong, bootstrap and jquery and so on have their places, but those places aren't when you're just starting out.12 -
Today 🙄
This dev goes "I connect using plain FTP over a VPN to update why can't you!?"
Because it's unsecure you fucking idiot.
His FTP server can't even do secure connections. Some how.
Guess I have a new site to take over 😏5 -
The relentless feeling that slowly has over taken my waking life. The feeling that if I am not coding, learning or becoming better at coding I am wasting my time. I can't even watch movies anymore without reading articles. This is the worst thing about being a Dev, how when you are a dev you are nothing else.
At least for me, not sure how common this feeling is.10 -
Frankly if your a dev that doesn't push yourself. I wont take you seriously.
Experience levels range greatly! You have to be mindful of that to.
I push myself with every project looking for better ways to do things
Doesn't mean you can't have fun whilst you do it 😉5 -
I can't believe how quickly this community has grown! Absolutely amazing to see so many like-minded people I can relate to 😊. Before devRant I had (I shit you not) 1 fellow dev that I could talk to.. Now I have a ton 😄5
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You know you're fucked when even the lead dev can't think of a decent solution for your problem which is...
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... the most difficult challenge devs have ever faced:
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What should be the name of the github repo for the new module?3 -
If you're an aspiring web dev, get comfortable using the command line.
Amazing how many new starters can't restart a service or tail an error log.
I'm not saying it to be a dick, it's just 101 stuff that'll save you loads of time.1 -
!dev
GOD FUCKING DAMMIT
My Mother was intelligent enough to get her phone stolen and screams at me over the phone of my brother why I can't do more than telling her the last known location
BECAUSE THEY SHUT IT DOWN
I CAN'T DO SHIT WITHOUT THE PHONE HAVING AN INTERNET CONNECTION
But what if they go through my files go into my bank account
THEY CAN'T BECAUSE YOU HAVE A PASSWORD ON IT
but they could crack it or something
NO THEY CAN'T WITHOUT TRYING FOR MONTHS OR YEARS OF POSSIBLE COMBINATIONS
but
NO BUT JUST FUCKING CALM DOWN IF THEY AREN'T THAT BAD THEN THEY WILL CALL ME IF THEY ARE ASSHOLES THEY NEED AT LEAST MAKE A FACTORY RESET AND DELETE ALL YOUR FILES
I CAN'T DO MORE THAN THIS SO FUCKING SHUT UP AND DON'T LEAVE YOUR PHONE AT A FUCKING WAITING ROOM AND DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING ON THE FUCKING INTERNET ESPECIALLY FACEBOOK
Thanks know I can't concentrate anymore........5 -
It today's team meeting my manager asked, "What is GitHub?"
Seven years leading the group. Hired with no dev knowledge. Can't be bothered to acquire any.15 -
Completely unrelated to dev stuffs but I just pre-ordered the first physical album in my life 😍
Can't wait till half December 😋13 -
Do not hire a team of full stack developers such that the entire teams' core competency is back-end development and then wonder why they can't hurry the fuck up to design and build usable, device-friendly interfaces.
Hire a damned front-end dev.1 -
A fun fact, dev in hindi/gujarati means "God".
Now I can't help but wonder if those languages were developed by time travellers!5 -
!dev
My neighbors are absolute assholes.
I can't get enough sleep. This is driving me nuts. Worst of all, they're all students. I've called the cops on them once, but still the same behavior.
Am about to lose it, ngl.27 -
God fucking dammit.
I got assigned to a WordPress project...
I AM NOT A WORDPRESS DEVELOPER!!!
Why do I have to deal with this giant pile of stinking shit?
I'm a php developer, I make applications, I don't write fucking wordpress plugins...
WHY DOES THIS EXIST, WHY DID WORDPRESS BECOME SUCCESSFUL WHY CAN'T I JUST DEV IN PIECE.
Dear wordpress developers,
Please suffocate on a big fat old cock.
Regards.10 -
Using Ubuntu for the first time on my new XPS-13 Dev. Ed.
I'm loving the OS but it sure is frustrating. Can't even get Spotify to download -.-
27 -
10 years in dev and can't seem to keep up with all these languages. I learn one forget the other. Mix up syntax. Features removed or added.
Still use cheat sheets which I update as the languages change.
Just me or everyone else?9 -
Got hired as a fullstack dev last august (first dev job). This was a 1 year contract. Was offered permanent employment today and I can't stop grinning :D3
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The "Change Password" function autofilled the old password. Dev told be it didn't matter because "if you set the field type to password you can't see it".4
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When you've to explain normal people that you're a dev and not a hacker and so you can't just hack into their ex's Facebook account like it's some magic trick.3
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Worst part of being a dev?
THERE'S A NEW FREAKIN FRAMEWORK EVERYDAY.
Where are we supposed to get time to learn everything the job applications require? And even worst, have 2 years of experience with the thing?
And how about when developing a responsive dynamic website? If you are crazy, like me, and you are the kind of dev that always wants to deliver something great, customized to the needs of your client, and that doesn't smell bootstrappy, you probably can't stand too when people ask you about time guesstimates. Especially when you are the ONLY DEV in your company.
Also, our gear is EXPENSIVE.
Sorry, I guess I'm stressed... Had to bring some work home, due to the bosses deciding to deliver a project one week early to the client, without consulting me first.
Still, luckily for me, all this bullshit can't take my love of coding away.
4 -
Really just an average week.
Just feel I need a bit of venting. (:
@meet: (monday)
- mgr: we need video transcoding and VOD ASAP.
- dev: on what server? It's expensive, especially without a GPU.
- mgr: prod is beefy. Put it there.
- dev: everything else is gonna crawl then.
- mgr: you have till the end of this week.
@demo (Friday)
- dev: k, it's ready.
- mgr: Why is everything slow??!
- dev: transcoding. Expensive.
- mgr: Why do we transcode? Never said I wanted transcode!
Can't we upload to YT?
- dev: ...yes. But will then each customer that wants VOD will need to setup YT studio and provide an endpoint and stream key.
- mgr: OK. But we're now behind schedule because of this and the customers will not be pleased.
- dev: oh, didn't know we're into gaming.
- mgr: ???
- dev: nvm, see you Monday.
...
Later Friday evening
...
*ding* mgr has added 5 new tasks to your list.
*ding* mgr subtracted 30 points from you.
reason: deadline over due.
Ya ya, the usual shenanigans.
Time to mute for the weekend.14 -
My fellow coworker dev just sent a staging site link to our CFO to review some new functionality...
CFO clicks on our corporate HQ link in coworker's email signature instead and berates coworker for sending him the wrong link...
This person is somewhat largely in charge of making decisions that affect our digital marketing, website budgets, and strategy.
I can't make this shit up.6 -
Got laid off last week with the rest of the dev team, except one full stack Laravel dev. Investors money drying up, and the clowns can't figure out how to sell what we have.
I was all of devops and cloud infra. Had a nice k8s cluster, all terraform and gitops. The only dev left is being asked to migrate all of it to Laravel forge. 7 ML microservices, monolith web app, hashicorp vault, perfect, mlflow, kubecost, rancher, some other random services.
The genius asked the dev to move everything to a single aws account and deploy publicly with Laravel forge... While adding more features. The VP of engineering just finished his 3 year plan for the 5 months of runway they have left.
I already have another job offer for 50k more a year. I'm out of here!13 -
-Hey highonsleep you a webdesigner, right?
Me: no, frontend dev.
-Yeah right my dad needs a new logo for his firm, can you do it? We can't pay right now but we'll give you lots of paid design work in the future and it'd be good for your portfolio.
Me: whatthefuckingfuckLOL. *Unfriend/block/delete/remove*6 -
GO FUCK YOURSELF BY A CRAZY PONY SAFARI !
Fucking useless browser that hide by default the fucking dev tools.
And also it fucking supports flexbox but can't fucking calculate height 100%.
Fucking fuckitty fuck.
Have your website with a shitty ui then. Might as well do a popup saying "switch browser" cause even IE manage to understand height:100%.17 -
New dev: I need help with this issue. I've been debugging it all day.
*2 hours later*
Me: spent a while debugging it, eventually came across a stack overflow post that says you can't do that.
New dev: oh I saw that earlier, didn't think it applied.
Me: ... why ... accepted answer "It is not possible to do this, this way".
New dev: hhhmm, ok
... get the fuck out of this building immediately.3 -
"What we can do to get all on time? ", manager asks
"Can we have 4 more developers on the project?", dev asks
"No, that's not gonna happen. Let's be realistic", manager says
"Is it realistic to ask 3 devs to ship 20 features in a week, reviewed and tested?" dev asks
"Actually 2 of you, because our contractor goes into a vacation. But you can do overtimes, can't you?"
"I prefer not to but even in that case I can't guarantee that as it's not realistic. But at least can I leave earlier and work more from home more because there are severe delays on the train lines and if I have to commute 4 hours a day it won't help", dev says
"Well, I'm not sure if that's a good idea. You have to communicate with people, you know. We have to ship things. But we can discuss this tomorrow as I have to leave early today. I have to take my kids from school"
Really? Wtf?4 -
Me: junior dev
Assignment: build a REST search service that also does (thing x)
Me: gosh I just can't figure out how to make (thing x) work! Nothing I try works and there are no online resources!
*goes to meeting with client*
Client: (thing x) is impossible in our application, so we are expecting (much more manageable thing)
Me: awesome! I think I can build that
Manager who can't code: what are you talking about, (thing x) is clearly better and it should be possible to do
Manager: *sends email outlining shifted requirements after the meeting, including (thing x)*3 -
The worst thing about being a dev is explaining to these fucktards that facebook can't be hacked.
But what is even worse, is when these dipshits say that i am a bad dev for not hacking facebook for them.
Use that big stupid head to sometimes think straight and stop being a little twat.3 -
Dev deploys new CSS.
Client: I can't see the changes PANIC.
Dev: clear your cache!
Client: oh that's better. Now can we do that for all user?
Dev:😱4 -
I really truly want to run my own dev blog, but every time I write an article, I feel that it's too dumb and useless because I already know the thing I wrote. I know it's absurd, yet I can't fight my own anxiety about it.2
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Has anyone been in a situation where a sr dev, with 12 yrs of experience and paid more than you, can't fix something after trying for a week and now the boss comes to you and expects you (a lowly paid dev with only 5) to fix it in a day, now that it's super urgent?
That describes my day... FML... I have to do overtime tonight...
Feels nice to have some place to rant now though....10 -
!dev
I hate it when the inspiration finally comes... and you can't use the PC to compose. Because you're currently at school, or for whatever reason.
Now I'm scared that I will forget my ideas, before I get back home...
Damn, happens everytime.
( ◕∧◕)32 -
Me: Hey sys admin guys (group chat), our servers are in a complete different ip range. (192.168.x.x)
Sys admin: acknowledged
Sys admin: *installs tools on our server*
Sys admin: hey dev, please open up your ports
Me: why?
Sys admin: our tools can't talk from your server
Me: ok, what ip range
Sys admin: (10.0.x.x)
Me: 😑😑😑5 -
Frontend dev for 10+ years here.
"We can't afford to hire you as a senior, so your job title will be 'Frontend Developer' and your tasks will carry less responsibility than expected from a senior"
One year in, team of 2 handling 3 projects.
After merging with the parent company, we got business cards, mine describe me as a "Senior Frontend UI Engineer".
"Well, our customers only trust seniors, otherwise we can't send you to them".
Meanwhile a former colleague earns >1000€ more a month.
Yeah, fuck you too bosses!3 -
Top reason not to be a dev:
If you can't stand it when the computer does EXACTLY what you told it to, and don't have the patience, curiosity, and interest learning how to make it do the thing you wanted in the first place. 🙂1 -
🎶 Simple Plan - I'm just a dev 🎶
I woke up it was 7
I waited 'til 11
To figure out that no one would call
I think there are a lot of specs
I just haven't received them yet
They are the only thing that I really need to know
Because I can't find them on stack overflow
And here it goes
I'm just a dev
And life is a nightmare
I'm just a dev
I know that it's not fair
Nobody cares 'cause I'm alone
And the world is
Having more fun than me
Tonight
And maybe when the projects dead
I'll finally go to bed
But I'm staring at these four lines again
I'll try to think about the last time
That they were working fine
These things have business rules that I don't know
And they're gonna leave me here to figure it out on my own
And here it goes
I'm just a dev
And life is a nightmare
I'm just a dev
I know that it's not fair
Nobody cares 'cause I'm alone
And the world is
Having more fun than me
Tonight5 -
Picking the web development field and becoming more of a business person than a dev.
I want to develop more interesting things (like games, AI, etc) rather than corporate websites and web apps. Now, I can't even write a mobile app ffs.
I can't even work on my hobby project lately.6 -
Manager: Can you stay late as fuck today? One of our bitchiest vendors is gonna update their piece of crap and I'm pretty damn sure shit is gonna hit the fan
Dev (inner voice): no fucking way, I have kids to watch and chores to do!
Dev (outer voice): can't we just check everything in the morning?
Manager: No fucking way! If there is some fucking "challenge" when our "people" try to log onto their shit, I'm gonna look like a chump!
Let's talk silvers, I will sign on that bloody commie bullshit for your hours tonight.
Dev (outer voice): Fine. Until how late?
Dev (inner voice): Wait, I was supposed to do it without getting overtime bonus?5 -
Me: soooo can you get this done by next week?
Other dev: well who knows what rabbit hole I'll fall down. There's no way to tell.
Me: can you just avoid falling down a rabbit hole? We have a deadline.
Other dev: oh ya there's no way to know for sure.
Me: ....... Can you please try harder
Other dev: I'm trying I can't.
Me: ................6 -
Normally I'm both the dev and QA... Today I was the dev, QA and the user... Of course, I'm paid only as a dev... But I'm blamed as all three... Ffs I can't do this anymore 😞2
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We have a new lady in HR and boy is she noisy. She just can't seem to keep her mouth shut for even 2 seconds. She has opionions for everything, even dev related conversations.3
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Just over heard, Dev A was reviewing another team's code ...
Senior Dev A: "I don't understand this teams code. I hate WebAPI. Wish we could use X."
Senior Dev B: "Why can't we use X?"
Senior Dev A: "It's frowned upon."
Senior Dev B: "By whom?"
- couple of seconds of silence -
Senior Dev A: "X is not a Microsoft technology"
- few more seconds of awkward silence -
Senior Dev A: "X is magnitudes slower than WebAPI anyway."
Senior Dev C: "What? How much slower?"
- caught off guard..didn't know Senior Dev C didn't have his headphones on -
Senior Dev A: "Um...I don't know, that is what you told me."
Senior Dev C: "I never said that. I've never used X. I prefer WebAPI anyway, but both WebAPI and X use REST based protocols, I doubt X is magnitudes slower. Actually, I think you told me WebAPI was slower."
Senior Dev A: "Different paradigm."
- second or two of silence -
Senior Dev B: "What?"
Senior Dev A: "Hey, did you see on twitter ..."
Have no idea where he thought that conversation was going. Maybe he was hoping the other devs would dog-pile/attack the code. Pretty funny it backfired. His face when Dev C said 'I never said that' was priceless. Like "Oh -bleep- ..how do I lie out of this one? ...quick, distract with random words or a twitter post" -
when your boss can't distinguish back end from front end web dev
I admit the lines are blurred, but the guy whose background is pure front end probably shouldn't be designing databases, and I'd rather not spend my days trying to make videos autoplay on mobile on the company website7 -
I literally just had a conversation with my coworker who is not a dev where he said that WordPress sites getting hacked is a myth. He also thinks shared hosting sites getting hacked is also a myth......I literally can't right now.4
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JS Console: user_name is undefined
Señor Dev: can't be the API response has it!
The API response: usre_name8 -
I think devRant should add an Ask A Dev section, since I always feel intimidated using stack and I can't be the only one...9
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Conversation with coworker at a staff function...
girl: ...we can't wait to see what you can do!
Me: Great! I can't wait to get stuck in, but you know, those exports you wanted from it, that doesn't have to wait. If you need that straight away, come to my desk and I'll make some queries for you and pull out the data you want...
Girl: o_0
Girl: ... Omg, you can do that?! You're awesome!!
Me later: o_0 - the Dev before me could never at least do that?!6 -
Can I just say, this community is awesome. All Dev talk, all the time. It's like Facebook but not complete s***!
PS: UK Dev rant meet up has to go down. We can't have the yanks outdoing us.6 -
(!rant && !dev && awesome == true)
So for the space fanatics here who didn't knew. SpaceX will launch their falcon heavy rocket today Can't wait 😊
22 -
Why do _devs_ still use shared hosting (and then bitch about it)?
"This thing won't let me use external SMTP" - "I can't use more than 2 domains for my site" - "I can't change X in PHP config" ...
You're a dev, VPS prices are pretty much on the same level as shared hosting, and setting those things up isn't exactly rocket science either.31 -
Company switched some users from windows 7 to windows 10 overnight. Installation failed for most of the Dev team.
- No admin access
- Files missing
- Programs missing
Result : we can't work :/4 -
CTO: We'll use epochs for any time related fields in our services.
After service integration...
Dev from producer team: Hey the time field is showing up as 1970 and not null in your table. That seems to be a bug.
Me: Code looks fine. We are converting epochs to timestamps here. Null is taken care by the library function itself.
The same dev: Actually we are sending zero instead of null values in that time field. But we'd want the end table to treat that as null.
Me: Why can't you send null then?
The dev: Actually avro doesn't support nulls. Hence the zero.
Me: WTF??????
Manager to me: Actually you need to convert them as null. Anyways, this is not a blocker and we can live with it for now.
END OF RANT
Why can't they fucking send it as null? And when I asked about the details, that particular event type doesn't require that field. Still the manager insists on sending that field for it.23 -
I can't code
So 3 things i hate because i can't code. #selfrant
1. My father was a programmer in the 80-90ties. So he forced me at 11 years old to do a stupid "Java for Kids" book. You had to write sooooo much verbose code just that a stupid grey button would appear that looked ugly. I really really hated it.
2. Now I'm a graphic designer by trade. The first time I came in contact with something useful code related was in 2011. https://processing.org the generative design framework. It looked glorious! But it was in Java! I hated it.
3. I hate that i can't code because I'm dependend on you guys to get my design to become alive. Thanks to 3 years on devRant, the days arguing with a lazy dev that something can't be done is thankfully gone.6 -
Serious question, what's so great about using Macs for programming and dev work? Junior dev here and all my colleagues and superiors can't stand them.
Is there actually a technic benefit that I'm missing?59 -
i was helping a friend who just started learning how to code and i realized that tutorials don't teach you how to read error messages and how to debug. that's stuff we learn from people, it's tacit knowledge. that's crazy to me, because those are such essential skills to a dev and i think just self learning is not enough. maybe coding is even more of a socially dependent skill than i ever thought. looking at it that way, stackoverflow is a good example of that, I can't really imagine being a dev without the dev community7
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The senior dev in my team wants me to convert all the lambda expressions I have written to anonymous inner classes. He says it will increase the code readability.
IT IS NOT MY FAULT THAT YOU CAN'T READ LAMDA EXPRESSIONS!!!!
It's like the dev has something against the new features of Java87 -
A computer? We can't afford that shit.
Later...
Here son. Mom took this from her Job, they were going to trash it anyways. Go nuts.
Sister oh here are all my dev books. I am doing something else now.3 -
Worst dev tech I have used must be Visual Studio in a virtual Windows machine.
I can't think of anything slower.
And also, I'm a Linux user so I just hate it.6 -
Backend Dev: Sir, I think we have a problem with our code. The function does have a lot of bugs in production that we can't maintain it.
Manager: Okay Front-end. You get a new Ticket. Prevent this bug by today
Front-end: Dafuck
Sometimes, I feel sorry for my colleague.1 -
!dev
Just took out my four wisdom teeth at once. I can't feel my face, I look like a balloon and I'm drooling like I'm about to eat a delicious cake.
Except the cake is a fucking lie, my mandibular joints are hurting and I can't eat solids for a week.
At least I only have one postoperative to contend with. Hurray! 🙃6 -
Other dev: fuck you, your code can't handle null as input
Me: yeah, because it's kotlin. It's like I added @NotNull, so?...
Other dev: fuck kotlin
Me: fuck you and your nullpointers. Don't pass my precious constructor that crap!2 -
Best Dev experience: Switching to rust,
Worst Dev Experience: Using VS code at work because I can't get anything else approved to be installed.9 -
Worked alongside lead dev who was also a contractor. The lead dev made a lot of demands on the codebase, and I managed to work around their demands, but at the expense of more progress. They were fired out of nowhere just recently, and oh wait, they never wrote a single line of code this whole time and the budget can't get us another contractor now. I am going to lose my mind on this contract and I'm pulling my first of many all-nighters right now, wish me luck.10
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Me: I'm a hardcore dev lookin for trouble, can't flex on me, js on the streets and css in the sheets, watchoutttt
Also me: fuck how do I control F but like more
Also also me: I wonder how many ramen packets I'd have to eat to retire at 30 -
The day after I delivered a secure programming course to our junior devs.
Junior dev: I can't figure out what's happening when I generate this sql.
Me: what do you mean generating ... It should be a prepared statement..
Junior dev: no I'm just generating the strings from the form
Me: ... Let's try this again.... -
I had my first ever dev interview yesterday, at a local cybersec startup(FullStack Python position)
I think it went smooth, they said if we continue the process they would give me a small dev task to complete to prove my abilities, and asked how much time of notice to give my current employers before leaving.
I can't wait to leave 4 years of sysadmin and finally move on to be a (professional) developer! 🤞3 -
Today at 'Derp & Co' a fellow co-worker decided that had duplicated data on Relational DB is good!
- Dev: 'but what if we have 2 companies in diferents groups?''
- co-worker: 'Just call it company A and Company B'
- Dev: 'but... this is not what...'
- co-worker: 'Trust me Dev, is the easy way'
I want the professional way, not the easy (and damn wrong) way :(, I can't improve myself like this.
Also, dead line is here too... TT^TT
Last sprint and still with doubts about the DB structure.12 -
Not entirely dev related, but...
I'm getting tired of (electrical, mechanical) engineers complaining about HW limitations like "oh this board only has 12 KB of flash memory" or "I can't make this thing move smoother because my CPU is only 16 MHz" Bitch, you can spend $500 on 3 servo motors, but you can't afford to pay extra $5 to get a board with better specs to control them?8 -
Spent 2 hours last night (leaving an hour late) with the IT guy hunting down a problem that affected at least 12 other teams. It didn't crash the app, but did prevent MANY scripts from working, and thus nothing could be committed.
I found the culprit, made a solution, and posted in the email chain my solution. (it required a code review and a client-side update)
Someone responded asking for another dev to confirm my report. That dev did and them dumbed it down for those who can't understand programming talk. Then EVERY EMAIL after that thanked that dev for "fixing the root problem" and "solving their scripts".
And just now, the PO for the bug was replaced to that dev's team. (previously was my team's PO)3 -
I absolutely love the dev community but one thing I just can't stand is the snobbery that permeates it. I don't understand why some devs expect non devs to know or understand the intricacies of computer programming or even computers in general when it's really not their job to do so.
"Ahhhhh!! How DARE this non dev PEASANT ask me about hacking Facebook accounts!! Does he NOT understand the basics of DNS spoofing and social engineering!!1!!1! bahh"2 -
In my school there is this guy, who talks a lot and fools the teachers into thinking that he is a dev savvy so he gets assigned to projects with us, but he can't even write a function in js, and talks about accessing a DB with jQuery. Talk is cheap show me the code5
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Sometimes I hate it to be a "computer-guy". There is this one beautiful girl, I see her everyday in the train, but I just can't talk to her. I hate myself for not just saying " Hi" or whatever. I'd love to "just say something", but it doesn't work! Why the fuck am I thinking this much?!
Any tips? From dev to dev? Please?!33 -
It's oddly satisfying to see other devs rant about the shit they go through. And yet, I can't deal with the shit that people rant on non-dev related on Facebook.
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As a dev that can't work from home, sincerely, fuck you weather. I'm gonna punch the next person that says climate change isn't real.
2 -
Well paid java dev. But the HW/SW-Stack is awful.
Monitor: single 1600x1024
5yr old notebook, old i5, magnetic hdd
Forced to use windows 7
No maven server
No CI server
SVN but no git
Eclipse, no intelliJ
No sonar server
There are days where I just can't take it anymore.11 -
4 months into the journey at an ambitious streaming startup we, a team of 10 engineers (primarily full stack), sets up a tiny and performant express.js api setup.
We document plans for improving the maintainability, including outlining specific practices (not very different from general node best practices) that need to be followed for all new development.
Enter a new engineering manager (dedicated backend manager), henceforth referred to as S, with a rat face and brain that belongs in a rat hole.
Week 1:
S: let's push this new feature out asap
Dev: it'll need a couple of weeks to get done right
S: let's push out a functional version tomorrow, and revamp in the next iteration
Dev: ... (long pause) there's documented practices specifically directing against this
S: can you not do it by tomorrow
Dev: not if it needs to be done right
S: all you need to do is.. (simplifies changes spanning 5 modules into a 3 line summary)
Dev: yes, (outlines how each changes chains into the others, and how to keep the development maintainable for atleast a few months)
S: (interrupts every sentence saying "yes dev, I understand, yes yes")
Dev: could you please tell me how you expect me to connect (outlines two modules that would fail unless developed as standalone services)
S: Yes dev, I understand, yes yes. I don't have much experience with Node.js, so I can't tell you that.
Dev:
<_<
>_>
O_<
Our.. entire.. backend.. stack.. is.. Node. (Months of motivation, cultivated through hard work over late nights, dies inside)
I need a J and some sleep.6 -
>Adds new feature
>New feature works fine on dev
>New feature works fine on staging
>New feature doesn't work on live
>You can't easily figure out what is wrong because you need to wait an hour for it each time :|5 -
!dev && !rant
@dfox and @trogus my so was like, wait... Is this like a thing to complain? That's awesome!
Wait let me guess it's for developers only, right? Why can't we normal people have this? :O7 -
"try harder and smarter, we will do a training if needed"... A coworker replying to another coworker (non dev tech support guy who never used postman in his life) in public chat... And I can't help but think that he is implying that the tech support guy is stupid.
KNOWING POSTMAN DOESN'T MAKE YOU SMART!!! AND YOU NEED TO SHOW SOME RESPECT AND LEARN HOW TO SPEAK!!9 -
Worst part of being a dev is that feeling that you're walking up the down escalator. Can't get ahead and if you stop, you're back where you started.
Oh and some punk kids keep passing you on the way! Lol -
My current job. Fire half the dev staff, leave junior as only web dev with no plans to rehire. Then immediately starts a larger project that we don't have a contract for yet with half baked and fuzzy requirements, due by March. The reason for firing most of the staff? Running out of money and can't promise our jobs 3 months out.7
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Oooh latest Smashing Mag book its here!! 😁😁
What dev books do you recommend or can't live without ?? Must grow the library...
15 -
!dev
i am so lucky to have a good memory. i am not the best problem solver, but i remember lots of previous solution. being a dev has really help my thought processes though.
tldr; i told my gf i'd get an ass tattoo of her choice if i got a 1500+ on the sat and now i'm nervous because after looking online i can't find a single math question i got wrong.11 -
!dev
I'm marking some exams for the class I teach right now, and I'm just so FRUSTRATED at the number of students that can't just fill out a STUPID multiple-choice answer!!! For goodness sake, don't just leave it blank, and don't give me 2 answers! How difficult is it to just guess a number between 1 and 4?!?!2 -
Stereotypical Indonesian CS Lecturers :
"This is the code *showing slides containing a Java code*, write it on your IDE and run it"
*waiting for explanation*
"Good, blablabla *doesn't explain a single line of code, and keep reading the slides* understand?"
Fucking cunt! I fuckinf mad because not everybody as lucky as me being a self-thought dev, or atleast you can't expect everybody as smart as you!5 -
Goldman Sachs analysts - hey, please could we stop working 95 hour weeks? It's really getting silly.
David Solomon - Hey, I'm really glad you brought this up! But screw you. Work harder.
...yeah. Even ignoring the morality of the situation, that was a commercially stupid move. I can't think of a single person that would now want to apply there, analyst or not. Can't help but feeling they've lost a lot of potentially great dev talent over the coming months & years.7 -
!dev
Swedish winters are weird, I can't remember last time we had snow around Christmas. Today it's white everywhere outside, but I doubt it is because it has fallen snow tonight. It's probably just the frost...19 -
What is your favourite dev-tool, you can't live without?
For me it's Git. Rescued my life for several times... 😅13 -
Arrived...! Dev rant stickers are way too sexy, can't wait to see 'em on my pro 😄😄 .. @dfox gratitude sir!!
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! dev. I had to pick up a parcel at lunchtime. Coming out of the shop, there was a parking enforcement officer (what we used to call traffic wardens) standing in front of the door, fiddling with his ticket machine, blocking my exit.
"Excuse me, you can't park there", I said.
He wasn't very amused, miserable bastard. -
Worst Hackathon experience:
Taking an API built by a junior dev team with minimal specs and "hacking for two pointless days" to make it work in production...
The whole Hackathon idea was an experiment to see if they could make the dev team stay late if they bought pizza and said "have fun".
We all spent 2 days cursing at the shoddy tools and lamenting that you can't run a Hackathon with a single directive and "production ready goal" yet remove any choice the developers have to actually contribute.1 -
That moment when you simply can't find a solution to a specific dev problem and you urgently need to finish your code..... I know the feeling.
1 -
My boss creates so many wtf moments with his total tech "un-savyness", although he is the " lead" dev, that I'm getting worried that I might be doing the biggest wtf faces every time ... I can't pretend like nothing is happening anymore .... Fuck!
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Debugging that responsive website and can't figure out where it is applying the viewport for the mobile layout. Cookie isn't set to view full site, nothing in html....checking Google's Dev Tools even in incog mode...until I notice Chrome is zoomed in....CTRL-0 = fixed. Dammit. Zoom on page just wasted 5 mins. I want my 5 mins back!
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I can't believe it, people are still using dreamweaver, and they doing so because they actually don't know that there are better options. How are you a web dev and using dreamweaver out of ignorance...4
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!dev
I like biking to places, but the roads are so terrible quality in Budapest (the capital city) that I can't sit down without risking getting sterilized.2 -
Classmate was crying, I asked her several times why are you crying. She kept saying I won't understand. I asked why can't I ?.
Because you never loved someone.
My DEV ass got triggered, and said have you ever tried Linux and Visual studio code ? -
[Working on some really "urgent" report for an about to publish project]
dev: client, can you explain what this value is? we can't figure it out and we though tha...
client: im gonna stop you right there, DO NOT Analyse! we dont have time for silly questions, if the design says there's a 10, just put that freaking 10 in that place...
dev: but sr, we need to...
Client: what did i say? just stop saying things and build it!2 -
If corporate always bothers that they can't find any female dev to hire, then encourage them to look into femboys!8
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Feeling frustrated/angry because you can't get that piece of code to work? Just remember that Dev in Hindi almost loosely translates to God :P
4 -
If I wasn't a dev, I'd probably still be in sales somewhere.
Can't say I miss that life, customers are a pain in the ass you can't punch in the face. at-least with IT, if I smash my keyboard, it's not going to complain 😇1 -
Is there a dev who knows a good webpage to get started with kotlin and spring?
I've searched a lot but can't really find something good. So I'd be very happy :)
Thank you7 -
lead dev: hey, I just committed but can't push
me: you need to add a remote repository, you don't have any yet
lead dev: what you mean by remote? 😕😕😕
me: explain what "push" does.
lead dev: ( with didn't get it expression ) hum...
me: (I think I'm in the wrong place) 😐😐😐😐 -
CTO: We can't keep getting egg on our face letting these simple mistakes through. We value your expertise, please speak up.
QA: This looks fucky, should it look this fucky?
*crickets*
Dev: That is dangerously fucky.
QA: Ticket time.
PM: Hey Dev, I know it's not your AOE, but I need to assign it, and you spoke on it so here's your ticket.
Dev: *dies inside*2 -
Reading IE rants on here and I'm confused.
If a client/boss asks to have something work in ie 8, for example, why can't you just say...
No.
"No, it'll waste a hundred hours in Dev time, costing you at least 5 grand or more. please have your users upgrade to the latest browser, it takes them five minutes."
Or am I just naive
Just... Why can't you say that.8 -
You have your favourite dev stickers on your first laptop and now you get another laptop, fucking can't reuse it!! Gonna miss it !
Any website to get stickers in India?3 -
Yeah sure, drown me in administrative work and then plan to hire another dev to help because I can't keep up.
Are you kidding me?
F*cking hire someone for the KPI and that stuff!2 -
!dev
I can't stand any more YouTube ads, it's gotten up to a point where it's just abusive. Some videos have two consecutive ads before starting, other videos have 5+ ads in less than 15min. Watching a video is just frustrating nowadays. I'm done, I'm installing adblock and only allowing certain channels to have ads.15 -
For the past 19 years of life, I've loved Thanksgiving break because it was an escape from school or a job I hated. But now that I work as a dev, I miss working on my project and can't wait to go back!2
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How can you explain to a senior dev, with more than 15 years of experience, that for money calculation (like VAT) you can't use the fucking floating types?!?!?!?!?9
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What would you guys recommend if a beginner wishes to become a full stack developer?
I have some basic programming knowledge, but can't say that I know enough to be a dev.4 -
Just had a Skype call that explained a Skype chat about the fact that I can't do anything on a task, because we are waiting for another (external) dev do finish his work.
Time wasted for Skype chat: 10 min
Time wasted for Skype call: 20 min
Time wasted for stopping myself from doing any harm to the user: 30 min4 -
Can't wait to get a dev girlfriend,
make her my {World},
then start learning new languages even the weird ones so that I can do
~Hello {Her Name}~5 -
I love old school design. 1990's and 2000's website has their charm.
Negative side of this: I want to be frontend dev and I can only design these, so I can't make modern website without proper designer6 -
any advice for a junior dev that can't get any fucking help from the senior devs? I can only in good-conscience try to solve a problem for so long before I know I'm seriously wasting my time
when I ask for help I often get "I'll get to your question in two or three days"
like damn I'm pretty stuck here guy10 -
If there was an anime Based on developers.
==Start===
Dev : here comes my favorite browser.
Mouse : No, not until I'm here.
Hand : whattttt? What's happening??
Mind : oh NO!! I why's Internet Explorer is loading?!?
Faster Mind : it's mouse, he's behind all this. Only he's powerful enough to pull off something like this.
Time : Developer-san SAVE me!!
IE : it's too late now, if you do anything it will just slow everything down!!! Hahahah
Dev : No it won't, don't ever underestimate a true developer. It's not over yet!!
*Some keyboard key combination
Time : *screams* developerrr-saaaan!!
Hand : wait, I know it, it's happening. We can still save Time-chan.
IE : WHAT!! No, it can't be!!
Dev : here comes Ctrl+Alt+Del. Be gone....
IE : Nooooooooooooo, this isn't happening, Aaaaaa *dead*
Hand : we did it!!!10 -
Damn, sometimes I want to rant about something rather badly, but feel I can't as I'd inevitably mention something way to specific which would identify me way too easily 🕵️♂️
I'll just say talking to our offshore dev team really does feel like talking to a brick wall 😒4 -
Can you help me to come up with a company name?
I want to provide dev services (mainly mobile apps) but I also want to have couple projects of my own, so I can't go with a name which indicates only mobile apps. This is the keyword list that I have at the moment:
dev
optimal
baltic
digital
digital
app
cyber
data
vision
systems
projects
solutions
apps
systems
tech
development
software
strategy
byte
builder
services
industries
house
Factory
incubator
media
dev
projects
net
tools
system
center
tech
pro
loft
devs
and these are my current ideas:
appswat.com
appdevhouse.com
balticdevs.com
devbaltic.com
balticincubator.com
appdecision.com
balticstrategy.com
appmobservice.com
appmobservices.com
appmobileservice.com
appbaltic.com
devbaltic.com
mobilebaltic.com
databaltic.com
balticcyber.com
solutionmob.com
mobiledevmedia.com
balticmobilevision.com
balticmobilesoftware.com
mobilemediasystem.com
probaltictech.com
But none of them seem good enough :/
What do you think about appbaltic.com or devbaltic.com ? Does this name makes sense for you native speakers?
Baltic because it will be an eastern european company located next to Baltic sea. We will provide dev services and have couple projects of our own.14 -
Time for some bad puns I made up with my coworker when we were stuck in traffic. Got any dev puns of your own? Share them here!
Why is it called Python if it isn't a snake?
Why is it called Ruby if I can't put it on my jewellery?
Why is it called Rust if it's so clean?
Why is it called Go if it stays in the same place?
Why is it called Perl if it's so ugly?
Why is it called C# if I can't write music with it?
Why can't I drink Java?6 -
Co-Dev: The table doesn't have pagination. You said if I use your code it will have search bar and pagination.
Me: Did you initialize datatable? (we are using JQuery DataTables)
CD: No. Do I have to? How can I do it?
I. can't. even.6 -
Every Node.js dev today - Deno is awesome! Much better than Node. Let's use Deno.
Still every Node.js dev - Why can't Deno run my simple code? Why can't they make Deno work exactly like Node?6 -
We rant while we hit obstacles in life/dev jobs..
Just one flu/food poisoning makes us realize we are so vulnerable at time.
We can't code our way out of that... -
In all seriousness, the best part of being a dev is that you learn something new every day. That serves me personally as motivation. There are so many fields of study that embody what a dev is, and because of this, there are a LOT of things that you can do and create. On the other hand, the worst part of being a dev is the fact that we can't do it forever.
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still can't believe someone actually hired me as dev and then multiple companies tried poaching me (one tried twice, another tried four times)
what are they all on3 -
I got my dev ducks in recently (React, C++ and C#) but brought them to work before I took pictures and now I can't show you guys because I am not allowed to take pictures at work.
Believe me, I have them.2 -
How would you feel if you can't solve your code? I'm almost a week stuck on a server problem. I applied for frontend dev position, it's okay for me to do this kind of stuff but the fact that I can't solve it for so long it makes me feel down :(5
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Sometimes I start feeling smart as a developer. Other times I can't even figure out why windows 10 runs super slow on my normal non dev machine. 🙈2
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!dev
It's ridiculous that it's 2018 and i can't connect my $120 bluetooth headphones to my playstation 4!
Come on Sony! -
Maybe a stupid question but I can't seem to google the right words.
In Linux, how do I reference the same device (disk) through reboots? Like, there's no guarantee that /dev/sda1 will be the same device twice, right?
Like, if I have three or four disks and I want one for "backups", how do I choose that disk *every time*?4 -
It's an irony in my case. Python is so simple and fast to implement that I end up doing all my projects ( web dev, ML, crawlers, etc.) But still I can't use Python for solving competitive programming. Python seems unknown if I don't have access to google. Way to go to learn Python. Though able to think Pythonic nowadays.. ;p3
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Why can't my team including my boss learn to stop making assumptions... And mixing seperate issues into one...
If there's a fucking production issue, first step is to reproduce it... AKA ask what the user did and what he expects....
Not...
User: hey we call this url and get an error
Dev: ok rollback -
I have to listen to Pandora or something when I program... it's gotta be low volume, and the song can't be too bad or I'll get distracted from my hatred of it, and the song can't be too good because then I'll start singing along. Why am I so prissy about this? It's the only thing I'm prissy about, not like a norm dev… I'll use any editor, I don't care, any OS… but the music gets to me.2
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!Dev rant:
My room is well isolated from street noise, today I am having some trouble to sleep, and can't stand ear buds. So I said isolated from street noise, but now I can fucking hear the mother fucker upstairs snorting like he was lying next to me -
After completing urgent projects that rewrite a lot of "overtime" or even personal projects that rewrite like a few weeks to complete.
Old web dev days pre-BS... All the CSS needed to and the cross browser compat. The divs don't align... Can't get elements to center... Or it does, just not in browser X...1 -
I JUST CAN NOT UPDATE THAT ONE SERVER TO DEBIAN 9
- it has no /dev/sda but a /dev/ploopXXXXX which is mounted as / but I can't see it
- uname says it's Linux 2.6.32-042stab126.2 and it says Debian some lines later in the ssh login
- there is no boot loader (I can't find it)
- lsb_release tells me it's running Debian 9.6 stretch, I put stretch into the apt sources
- in /boot there are 2 different versions: 3.16.0-7-amd64 and 4.9.0-8-amd64
- and I do not have physical access to it
WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!
I wanted to install OpenVPN on it but that Linux Version doesn't support the Tunnel Interface /dev/net/tun8 -
any ios devs here?
i'm a fifteen year old dev collaborating with a friend and we made an app - in flutter. android we are planning on publishing, but on ios we can't afford to pay the $99 to publish. we can't even compile it on a hackintosh. if anyone is willing to compile our app and give us an ipa (or publish it), we would really appreciate it!!!6 -
Dev management high muckety muck: "Even though I never speak to or communicate with any of you personally, my Jira charts indicate that you are sub optimal." Absentee managers can't help but be dickheads.
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WTF kind of bullshit software is sonar.
I can't deploy my application because sonar is telling me that there is a vulnerability. So I look at it. IT'S A FUCKING DEV DEPENDENCY. Are you fucking serious sonar? I can't deploy because a dev dependency has a vulnerability that allows DOS attacks. What the fuck do you think will happen?! I'm going to DOS my own fucking application whilst coding or what? Who the fuck would even care?!
I fucking hate our Pipeline, all the tools behind it operate like shit. the only thing positive about it, is that I am able to deploy applications myself without having to call someone and wait a week. Because putting a file in a directory is hard ._.3 -
Cómpletely not dev related but...
Any english geeks?
What is the difference between a few and the few ??
I can't find a difference but my stupid school english teacher is telling there is a diffenence
8 -
What the fuck is going on ???
How the "intermediate" c# developers can't do a simple null safe average of even numbers in an array ?!
Why they still write loops and shit (without any nul checks ofc) while it can be done in 1 line :
array?.Where(x => x % 2 == 0).DefaultIfEmpty(0).Average() ?? 0
WHY ? Even Junior c# dev is supposed to know that shit4 -
my workstation, can't imagine to work without it,
waiting for dev rant stickers even left some space for them
Proudly running Ubuntu Gnome 16.04
3 -
I can't change my choice of beer this week because the company is stocked for another 2 weeks.
Damn! I love my job.
I'm just a dev. -
!dev?
Colleges now require proof of vaccination but admins are worried about the spread of fake vaccine cards
https://apnews.com/article/...
My mindblowing solution: require students to submit a covid antibody test result instead.
You can't spoof the lab test result number and it can be easily verified by calling the lab...
Can even create a site for that...
isTestValid.com
Worried about privacy... Have labs upload a hash of the data...
And user submit their hash...
Clearly nobody asked a dev for they're input... again3 -
!dev
Did anyone else but a Foldscope? I spent 2+hrs assembling and trying to use it but can't see any bacteria.. Or anything at all.... -
I just can't...the boss just told me that we don't need to make sure that the user is logged in order to make a subscription payment...I tried ( in 3 diff ways )... but his reponse was :
- don't worry, we will figure it out later
now I can't properly finish the task and have to remove the force login... so if the user is not logged he just give us his money for nothing...
then after some tume will come the next dev and will start curse me...19 -
.Net Dev here with a degree in graphic design. Almost 9 months into my first dev job, 85% of it has been dealing with god damn webforms. Unfortunately, sometimes it doesn't play too nice with a bootstrap / jQuery especially with code behind and when you have post backs. I never thought I would say this but fuck the front end lol at least when it come to this dumpster fire. At least I'm learning a lot but damn I can't wait to get back into an MVC project or service work.1
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!dev just needed to rant...
Fox says their streaming Miss Universe is live from Thailand... It's 7:40PM here and it was delayed 40mins...
Google says it's 7:40AM in Thailand...
I can't tell if Fox is telling the truth or they are actually the biggest source of fake news and thinks everyone is too stupid to know
11 -
The customer wants to migrate his old store into WooCommerce. Here's a MySQL dump with 130 tables and no documentation on how they're related.
You also have to scrape all of the couple thousand product images off their site because they don't want their old dev knowing, so you can't just have FTP access...1 -
I am this shitty ass frontend dev that knows one language and one framework, I only do light logic and I can't even do a quick sort algorithm.10
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!rant
I have a Surface 3 for home dev stuff. I wanted to get back into C++ for graphic/GPU programming. However it uses an Intel Graphics 5000 chipset so I can't do CUDA and the Intel Media Server can't upgrade the graphics driver because it's a Surface.
What should I do? I would rather not build a system just to play.5 -
(Sr. Dev) Oh right, you can't do that in the controller.
(Me) I can't do what?
(Sr. Dev) That thing.
(Me) Call another controller from the controller?
(Sr. Dev) Yep.
(Me) Where is supposed to be called?
(Sr. Dev) From the view.
(Me) But what is supposed the controller to be used for?
(Me) What is supposed to do the controller?
(Sr. Dev) The controller pass data to the inner classes. (Controller > Manager > Domain Object > DAO)
I ended calling 3 controllers methods from the view in 4 different views everytime...3 -
Said to me one time by someone I worked with who wasn't a dev over the course of a 5min talk
I don't know what you do
...
We can't have this project fail
...
It should only take 3 months but we gave you 62 -
I overheard this mid level dev discussing a new task with a senior dev. They're discussing compile error in cmake. I realized that the mid level dev asked so many basic stuff that are easily google-able. Mind you, our codebase is cmake based, how come she didn't know even the basics and yet survive in our company for years?
I felt bad for the senior dev, as I knew he's busy with his work. He couldn't do his job because he had to do hand-holding with this dev.
My biggest mistake is often trying to solve things by myself which will take hours instead of just asking a senior. But asking other dev for every little things are also annoying. Why can't you just google shit up or RTFM?1 -
I know I can't be the only one of us that listens to dev related podcasts. Does anyone have any good ones they'd like to share? I'm looking for something more entertaining than Software Engineering Daily, yet more informative than MS Dev Show.1
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me: *opens dev env using Docker*
me: *makes changes*
project: *permission error*
me: *fixes permissions*
Git: *Can't find a compatible repo*
asdf -
Started working with a startup. They have one Dev guy, who for some reason is using both python 3 and 2 in the same git repo, and had no requirement.txt or anything to really track dependencies....
For fuck sake, the Dev guy is actually intelligent, but really freaking messy.. why can't he have this basic thing done...1 -
Ik was helping a friend and needed quick a dev environment. Great, github codespaces to the resque! Fast dev environment with vscode editor online running a debian container. Perfect. But then it happened: "You're at 100% of your included usage for this billing period. For more information, view your billing settings.".
I can't access my source files anymore. Fuck, it was so much research5 -
Time to face the truth.
I'm being moved from one team to another. Which is great.
But the reason I'm being moved is to take over for another dev. So that dev can get a promotion. So basically I'm getting a promotion, without the pay raise.
I can't fight this either.
So I'll take this as an opportunity to get all the experience. Also begin looking around.1 -
!dev
People that say shit like "real fans know that *their opinion* is true" or "anyone that knows anything about x knows that *their opinion* is true" are some of the worst people in society.
You can't start a sentence implying you're going to state a fact only to give your opinion. It's bullshit. It's lame. It makes you look like an idiot.3 -
!dev
This is not dev related but I figured I would ask here anyways. What type of connector is this?
I have this old subwoofer with a non interchangeable cable like this. I have been searching around but can't find a name for this type of connector...
16 -
We can't run linux on our work machines but I need to build a couple of linux scripts.One drive said it backed up my dev VM...so where is the hard drive file. Its been syncing to my new laptop for a day.2
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Really starting to reconsider being a game developer, I can never seem to get anything past engine prototyping. So many idea's, so many concepts, I have the ability to build it but I can't get past the first hurdle and it's really bringing me down...
Don't even have any dev friends to help me out...4 -
How to sow the seeds of panic in a dev organization. Pop up a message that your BitBucket license has expired and you can't push code changes until it is renewed. Happened today. Amazing how fast the corporate cogs can turn when productivity is on hold and you still have to pay the devs.
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Looking for the gif of the "developer" in Times Square. Can't find it via Google search but I want to show a friend as the guy looks roughly like a dev friend of mine. Help me out.1
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Starting a project in work learning some new tech. After a brief introduction to the tech, the lead dev can't wait to tell us about how we need to coordinate our daily standups with another team in a different part of the world.
Honestly, I'd rather stand up in front of a firing squad. -
Not dev per sé but annoys see he'll out of me on a monthly basis... 30 day password expiration, how does that make things more secure?! The thing that makes it worse is that I can't use any previous 28 passwords or anything too similar... Now I'm stuck with a 36 character password which I have to put in everytime my work machine decides to lock out... Which is less than a minute of not touching it.
What's that? No I can't turn around and answer a question because if I do I'll be taking 20mins off of my future career prospects as I'm working on leveling up my inevitable arthritis6 -
When you start a new game and you can't stop your dev brain and just enjoy the damn game and play it as it is!!!!
Grabbed this baby up the minute i had a chance to. Being the dev that i am, already thinking of doing something to optimize my calendar confidant(social links)-wise.
I mean i have the list of confidanfs, the date they start and the days they are available. All i need is a tool that can take all these in, apply some scheduling algorithm, and churn out a calendar!!!
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So I was instructed today, after lunch, to spend an hour teaching a member of my team how to SSH, store keys, basic io routines, and create CRON jobs to auth our ECR registry by my team lead.. Why am I wasting dev time teaching someone how to use an operating system? Need I add, our primary Dev workspace is a spun up using vagrant using xubuntu. I just can't comprehend how this person has been using xubuntu as their primary OS for two months and doesn't know the SSH protocol. Much less how they landed a dev job without any prior experience with a *NIX based OS.2
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This is an actual transcript...
Since it's way too long for the normal 5000 characters, hence splitting it up...
Infra Guy: mr Dev, could you please give some rational for update of jjb?
Dev: sparse checkout support is missing
Infra Guy: is this support mandatory to achive whatever you trying to do?
Dev: yes
Infra Guy: u trying to get set of specific folder for set of specific components?
Dev: yes
Infra Guy: bash script with cp or mv will not work for you?
Dev: no
Infra Guy: ?
Dev: when you have already present functionality why reinvent the wheel
Dev: jenkins has support for it
Dev: the jjb is the bottle neck
Infra Guy: getting this functionality onto our infra would have some implications
Dev: why should I write bash script if jenkins allows me to do that
Dev: what implications ??
Infra Guy: will you commit to solve all the issues caused by new jjb?
Dev: you show me the implications first
Infra Guy: like a year ago i have tried to get new jjb <commit_url>
Infra Guy: no, the implications is a grey area
Infra Guy: i cant show all of them and they may hit like in week or eve month
Dev: then why was it not tackled
Dev: and why was it kept like that
Infra Guy: few jobs got broken on something
Dev: it will crop up some time later
Dev: if jobs get broken because of syntax
Dev: then jobs can be fixed
Dev: is it not ???
Infra Guy: ofc
Infra Guy: its just a question who will fix them
Dev: follow the syntax and follow the guidelines
Dev: put up a test server and try and lets see
Dev: you have a dev server
Dev: why not try on that one and see what all jobs fails
Dev: and why they fail
Dev: rather than saying it will fail and who will fix
Dev: let them fail and then lets find why
Dev: I manually define a job
Dev: I get it done
Infra Guy: i dont think we have test server which have the same workload and same attention as our prod
Dev: unless you test how would you know ??
Dev: and just saying that it broke one with a version hence I wont do it
Infra Guy: and im not sure if thats fair for us to deal with implication of upgrading of the major components just cause bash script is not good enough for u
Dev: its pretty bad
Infra Guy: i do agree
Infra TL Guy: Dev, what Infra Guy is saying is that its not possible to upgrade without downtime
Infra Guy: no
Dev: how long a downtime are we looking at ??
Infra Guy: im saying that after this upgrade we will have deal with consequences for long time
Infra Guy-2: No this is not testing the upgrade is the huge effort as we dont have dev resources to handle each job to run
Dev: if your jjb compiles all the yaml without error
Dev: I am not sure what consequences are we talking of
Infra Guy: so you think there will be no consequences, right?
Dev: unless you take the plunge will you know ??
Dev: you have a dev server running at port 9000
Infra Guy: this servers runs nothing
Dev: that is good
Dev: there you can take the risk
Infra Guy: and the fack we have managed to put something onto api doesnt mean it works
Dev: what API ?
Infra Guy: jenkins api
Infra Guy: hmmm
Dev: what have you put on Jenkins API ??
Infra Guy: (
Dev: jjb is a CLI
Infra Guy: ((
Dev: is what I understand
Dev: not a Jenkins API
Infra Guy: (((
Dev: (((((
Infra Guy: jjb build xmls and push them onto api
Infra Guy: and its doent matter
Dev: so you mean to say upgrading a CLI is goig to upgrade your core jenkisn API
Dev: give me a break
Infra Guy: the matter is that even if have managed to build something and put it onto api
Infra Guy: doesnt mean it will work
Dev: the API consumes the xml file and creates a job
Infra Guy: right
Dev: if it confirms to the options which it understands
Dev: then everything will work
Dev: I am actually not getting your point Infra Guy
Infra Guy: i do agree mr Dev
Dev: we are beating around the bush
Infra Guy: just want to be sure that if this upgrade will break something
Infra Guy: we will have a person who will fix it
Dev: that is what CICD is supposed to let me know with valid reasons
Dev: why can't that upgrade be done
Infra Guy: it can be done
Infra Guy: i even have commit in place3 -
!dev
Why is it that whenever I have a goal, everybody comes out of the woodwork to tell me I'm stupid and am not capable of achieving it, but whenever I do achieve something on my own they expect thanks and recognition for all the "support and guidance" they gave along the way?
Surely this can't be just me experiencing this?2 -
Hey look at these awesome features we offer in the new version!
*carefully upgrades servers*
*app runs smoothly for few hours*
(Docker container exited with code 137) x 100
OutOfHeapMemory errror
Another dev: "I can't see the data flowing through the pipeline"
Boss: "Hmm, why did we upgrade again?"
*checks jira issue for the software*
Bug Report #125 fixed in the next version.
Aha!
Fuck this shit!1 -
Fellow dev: I need a new car at the same time am planning to wed. My cash can't cater for both.
Other dev: Congratulations, you have grown up problems -
Mmm, can't stop my brain when I have an opened project. Not possible to live the present moment when you're dev.
-
How I know I need coffee?
(1) fire up "npm run webpack-dev"
(2) Debug webpack config settings for 30 minutes wondering why it can't rebuild scripts
(3) Realize you ran it on the ~/projects/me/release folder and not ~/project/me/dev-latest folder. -
!dev
Ok, fuck my city. We are fucking freezing here the second day now, no hot water, no heat, it is around 0 degrees outside and THEY FUCKING CAN'T COMMENT ON THE CURRENT SITUATION AND WHAT HAPPEND OR WHEN WE WILL STOP FREEZING? WHAT THE HELL????3 -
I love doing multiple tech things. Development, Ops and security. Why can't people see this as tech experience and not individual subdomain experience. Why can't people switch jobs easily over Dev, Sec and Ops?
Smh.1 -
Okay so there's lots of posts regarding coffee... I don't actually drink coffee, does this mean I can't be a dev anymore?6
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Every dev team has this chatterbox guy, who works as a support, does sometimes whole work in a hour, watches anime for following 7 hours and wants to fix the whole world with JQuery. Still can't imagine working and hanging out without him.
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Fuck the dev! Who decided to change shit on their site without telling me...
It's your fucking app do you want it to work!?
I can't connect the two if you keep changing shit!
I know this dev to be a fucking asshole!6 -
Hey dev. Listen to religious music at too high a volume or constantly bitch and complain about how everyone else in the world is an asshole. They're both annoying but I can't take both at the same time...
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Q: I'm using make as a simple task runner. `make build` instead of a longer build command etc. It sucks that I can't simply pass some params like `make build dev`, instead I have to pass them as variables: `make build tag=dev`.
Can you recommend a standard, cross-platform (Linux, OS X) tool for this?9 -
So sick of a flimsy/fragile dev environment. Introducing docker at any level just increases risks, I swear.6
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Well this weekly rant topic comes a few weeks to soon....
Ah what the hell, my most successful dev project is hopefully this: https://codeglass.io
Why: well that is why this topic comes to soon, I can't disclose anymore than there is on the website for now, release will hopefully be this month.
It is pretty awesome. It deserves to be called next generation. -
Wednesdays. The day we get every single dev in a meeting room, and get everyone to explain what the fuck they are working on and what sort of issues they are having. Regardless of whether you'll ever see that site or not. Can't think of a bigger fucking waste of time.... ....meetings for the sake of meetings.... PISS OFF!!1
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Fucking large ass corporate companies that outsource some apps with fucking internal politics. Can't decide the scope of what we're working and won't even let us decide or proceed with our dev.
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Recently had an issue where we forgot to deploy some API updates on live when we pushed an app version live (we test on dev/staging)
Does anyone have any experience in mitigating this risk? Can't do a final test on live since that has permanent side-effects (e.g. Automated emails getting sent to other users)2 -
We are probably going to see even more kotlin. That's something, right? The dev future can't be all bleak ^^1
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*New defect*
Designs are confusing and use bad practises. Multiple buttons achieving the same task. The dev team, the BA's, PM's can't understand the current flow.
*Defect closed*
"Design happy with current implementation" -
So, I was building a new pc for gaming and dev, but I can't choose which cpu to put in.
So I thought let's put it here: i7-7700k or Ryzen 1700X?
Your thoughts?3 -
Top Challenge from my dev career?
Ppl trying to call me for every little thing. Why can't simply text. -
I can't choose just one so here are my favorite desk things...
In order of appearance:
Coffee, because no dev can dev without.
Mini whiteboards, (one on each side), makes for easy quick notes and helps me organize my thoughts.
Legos, specifically #4070 because of its intriguing geometrics. Tearing them apart and making different shapes helps me think through problems.
Code keyboard, pure excellence.
Logitech MX master mouse, same as above.
2 -
For our current project, we connect to three different OpenVPNs:
Our dev OpenVPN (to get Jenkins/Artifactory)
The ops team devops OpenVPN (to get to environment)
The vendor's VPN for single signon
All of them have different keys and one connects to LDAP and uses a password we can't change. -
Unrealistic deadlines, and my dev environment is lagging so bad I can barely type. I can't work like this!
-
I can't imagine how exactly not being a dev feels like :D (in the sense of skill, not profession). I honestly believe it will be part of primary education in the not so far future.
So actually I need reasons for not to be a dev :) -
Clean install of Ubuntu 18.04 on my work desktop, rbenv won't install a ruby version saying i need to install libssl-dev (that i've installed, ofc) and the mysql install did not prompt me for the root password, so i can't login on it.
Yay3 -
substr, substring and any variants
Confusing af. Added 5-sec of Dev time every time I use them because I have to look up just to make sure.
Why can't they be the same? If they're the same, why are they different?2 -
How are Macs preferred for web dev? You can't even easily switch between chrome and the inspector tab.9
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Arghhhhh working with regular expressions (already a bad start) got it working on my dev PC but it won't work on the server.
The only difference is my pc is running PCRE v8.41 and my server is running v8.42. Can't find anyone else having the same issue on SO/Google8 -
I am supposed to hire a Senior Dev for my startup but I'm kinda confused as to what should I do to make sure someone is good enough. People often write 5-8+ years of experience yet turnout to be fakers and I really can't afford that right now. Any tips on hiring somone senior or more experienced than I am..7
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!dev
with 8MP@iPad Air 2 ╮(￣▽￣"")╭
and Nokia Lumia 1020 even Huawei(unknown model but surely 48MP) can't do that
(1020 produced low quality images (more ambiguous than that) and Huawei got even just a white circle, garbage.)
3 -
Guys, I'm a bit into those dev-stickers, but the hell, I can't find any Pascal ones.
If someone know where to get them, please share with us/me.
Thx in advance.5 -
I ain't getting any summer internship so thinking to do a good course on big data and hadoop. Can't find the free proper source for beginners😕! Any suggestions? Whats your plan btw..m thinking to dive into web dev as well.2
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just figured out why my change blew up all the tests and fixed it - now I can go back to blog-reading and pretending to be a diligent dev... Can't wait to go on Vacation tomorrow!
-
I can't be the only dev that wears dress shirt and pants. I could wear a T-shirt and shorts for all they care.1
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!dev
devRant help me decide on something...
I feel like learning a new language but can't decide, I'm torn between Swedish (because I love Sabaton) and German (I have a character in my book who is german)...10 -
being so incompetent i can't have a working dev environment across different workplaces and/or so cursed it happens to me repeatedly
-
Can't find a good dev internship here, sure imma move out. Trying to move out, nuuh u uh, you need a years experience to get a resident-work permit in any good country that's got dev internships. Now do I go in as a master's student or what now :(4
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!dev related (sorry, but have to vent):
Just watched Resident Evil Last Chapter and can't get over the fact that Wesker got killed by a f*cking DOOR like a f*cking b*tch 😠😠3 -
!dev but why can't I use messenger services like WhatsApp or Telegram in the browser without my phone powered and connected? Why are both services still so popular anyway?7
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So I got a new remote dev position today yay after two interviews and three months of looking for one, however, they can't onboard me until the virus calms as I need to go into the office and pick up some equipment 😔7
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Best part of being a dev:
You can tell people you can't do something or it will take twice as long, and they don't have a clue as to why because you are a wizard in their eyes -
!dev
My new passion in life is to stack money in prevision to pay an enormous tax, and discovering the day before paying that some gas company took advantage of it to pay themselves about 1/3 of the amount I owe to the taxes. Now I can't pay anymore.
This is a fucking nightmare.3 -
Why is it that Browsersync works so much faster and cleaner in Chrome then Firefox. I want to dev in Firefox but Chrome is seriously tempting me with it's faster refresh rate with HTML and JS.
Google I want to hate you and dammit sometimes I just can't. 😫3 -
Err so i gave in and decided to set up my dev environment locally as opposed to cloud. Especially since I wanna do mobile stuff now.
But yeah. I had to revert to npm 4 for react native with sudo but now I literally can't npm install anything without sudo...
Should I be worried or carry on?7 -
Absolutely hate it when managers give an estimate for an hour tasks to be completed in 7 days.. why can't they just accept they are shit and ask for the effort estimation from the concerned dev.. all the AGILity goes in an awry..2
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!Rant about dev but a rant about one of my classes
Have this group project due on Monday, haven't gotten any audio recordings from the other members in the group can't actually start on it till I get the audio.
I hate economics. -
Should I buy a Surface pro or get a pc assembled for Linux or get a pc assembled for Windows. I'm new to dev and not planning to be a web dev. I already have a MacBook Pro and at work I have a Windows desktop. Also I'm planning to get in to gaming. Whatever OS it is I will be exploring it and learning. I have read so much on what would be thr best option but still can't make a decision.6
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I just can't believe react-component/form (rc-form) has no dev tools available
I really need to debug a strange behavior in one form as it seems the object of an InputEvent (I believe) is being passed along with the value (pic related)
1 -
First try on Debian to deploy dev environment, can't fix the grey screen cross cursor vnc issue with gnome regardless whatever solution on the internet.
Screw this shit wasted plenty my time. Reinstalled back CentOS 6. -
Rendering a html page which if fully populated with code and markup....fire up dev server, navigate to route and dang.....page is empty and can't see WTF!!! is wrong7
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Any grails dev here? I needed some help urgent but can't seem to get any answers from the internet or even the question I posted on SO. Here's the question:
https://stackoverflow.com/questions... -
[POOL]
What do you have: a "dev" or a "workplace" directory in your home? I always had a "dev" for my projects and I think I'm not alone, but I can't be sure10 -
Developing for mobile feels like crap to a web dev (ME). I spend days configuring testing and CD and when the builds and 563 tests finally pass, and I try and download the APK thinking it'll work PSYCHE the app can't open.
-
Probably fixing an error, not really knowing because it can't be reproduced in your shitty dev environment, push to production and just enjoy, my day every day...
-
1) I really can't into math and it's been pretty easy to hide it while working as a dev.
2) I just love to create. As soon as I noticed I'm really bad at storytelling I found out I can create by coding.
3) THE FEELING OF GAINING EXPERIENCE AND GETTING BETTER IS JUST SO GREAT I'M ADDICTED TO IT -
Does no one check the dev console before comming to you about site code not working?
It says it right there!
You can't load a src with http while the site is https.
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