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* The app is almost ready, boss asked me to show the progress.
Boss: The design is bad, I don't like it 🤔
Me: I just implemented the design, which is approved
Boss: Really? because I "feel" that the design is bad on the screen.
Me: Okay 😐, can you tell me what exactly the part to change?
Boss: I don't know, *calls the designer
Designer: *showing his PSDs* yes it is the same, and you [the boss] approved it.
Boss: Ok make some changes to make it feel better.
Me: (Inside: 😡 ) ok, have you some suggestions?
Boss: dunno,
Me: at least tell me what is wrong with it
Boss: dunno
Me:🤢26 -
I replaced my friends CMD shortcut with this target:
CMD.exe /k rickroll.bat & cls
The file rickroll.bat contains a script that launches VLC in the background on loop playing Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up at a very low volume. Every now and then it increases the volume.
So original, I know....1 -
Boss : "just" hack the google AdWords and show our company ad everywhere on google search"
"Don't you know that everything can be hacked?"
Me : "Ok, first let me ***k you."
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I mean "let me hack you"8 -
Hello, mister Boss man. If you'd please stop referring to me and my colleges as "resources". K, thx.4
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Do you build some eastereggs into your homepages / apps?
When you press F + U + C + K together on my newest creation you get something like this :-D
7 -
!rant
So this happened in the zoom meeting today. 2 colleagues were arguing on something.
A : "Do I look like f**king joke to you?"
B : " No, you don't look like a joke , your camera is off. But you sound like one. "
A : "I am so tired of you , f**k you man"
B: " Hey you can't f**k me without my consent, I said I am not interested."
Me : "Uhm guys this is scrum meeting."
B: "No shit captain obvious, we all know that. "
I am so speechless.....36 -
Please make an entire webshop with animated shopping cart in react + redux within a week 👍
We will then reject you for the position and thank you for rewriting our tech stack for the frontend 😂 K THX BAIII11 -
Developers coding cycle:
Start of Project - "Right, I am going to make this code clean and structured."
Deadline looming - "F**k it, just throw the code in there and get it finished".2 -
Actual email I just sent to a customer:
"I logged into your account and I see the problem. I will update you and have it fixed either by tonight or tomorrow morning. It is a rare bug we have encountered before, and we are working on it as you read this. "
The truth:
"Im fucking drunk right now. I know that error. I put off fixing it for awhile now hoping it wouldn't come up because it's fucking annoying to fix. I'll try to fix it tomorrow morning, k no promises though. If I can't I'll still have your problem taken cats of it just means I'll have to do it manually. Anyway.. Gonna drink some more now, bye. "
P. S. There is no we. It's just me. K bye.4 -
Did you know, that adding the flag
"--libcurl" to you curl command, does actually create a .c file that you can compile and that tiny program will execute that exact command that you just performed in the terminal??
Example:
"curl http://linu.xxx/I_love_GOOGLE/4ever -# -k --libcurl"
It creates a .c file that perform that action when used.15 -
I remember when my professor in Linux Kernel Programming told us this is a programmers bible, everyone has this one right ?
12 -
Try this line of javascript in a browser:
<pre id=p><script>n=setInterval("for(n+=7,i=k,P='p.\\n';i-=1/k;P+=P[i%2?(i%2*j-j+n/k^j)&1:2])j=k/i;p.innerHTML=P",k=64)</script>8 -
Oke so this just happened...
Spent 30 minutes figuring out why the f**k a div was vertically centered within another one.
Apparently margin:auto within a display: flex not only centers horizontally but also vertically.
I remember the days when i spent hours vertically centering sh*t. What universe are we in?12 -
I HATE working with MS Office products. Yes, Access, I'm looking at you, you backwards, whanabe database reject! You're invalid as a serious SQL database and retarded as an data application suite.
VBA, make up your MIND with your damn function calls! Either require me to use parenthesis or don't! I'm sick of this conditional parenthesis sh*t!
While we're talking about not making up your mind... screw 'sub', you half wit language! Either use functions like a real language or go the f&$k home and make room for a language that knows what it's doing!
Oh!!! WHY... WHY! do you have null AND... NOTHING?! Who... Who... WHO invented "nothing"?! And what sick joke are you playing at with isnull() and empty()??? How many damn ways so you need to test for "no value"?!?!
Access... That's right, I'm not done with you yet... How is it you've survived this damn long in the business world with all of the databases you corrupt? Sure, you suck as a real database, but at least have some freaking pride that people even USE you! How DARE your corrupt yourself with the regularity you seem to have! I wish my bowel movements were as regular as your database corruptions, for the love of humanity.
F$@k you, VBA! F@&k you, Access! F$#k you, MS Office! And Fuuuuuu$k YOU Microsoft for shoving these half assed reject tools down my throat!
I hope your cloud uses Access as a back end and gets some injection virus.
*Takes deep breath* need to say that.10 -
After weeks of hard work creating a website:
It looks so beautiful 😭
*opens in a different browser*
WHAT THE HECK! why is all my divs flying here and there !
*opens in mobile*
f*#k this9 -
New girl at work: "I like using internet explorer"
Me: "F youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!".....In my head, but breath out, smile and say "hmm k"9 -
Look at the 'k' in 'keyboard'... Fuck this fucking shit. I'm wasting my life with this stupid things
13 -
So I wrote a py script that calculated the total no. of the word "fu*k" found in rants -
Here are the results have a look.
Although I expected more, since in every other rant people use the word "fu*k" :/
This is in context with my previous rant -
https://devrant.io/rants/862267/...
30 -
K but why is this even possible through CSS...
Linked below is a pure CSS keylogger, i.e., now you can get your passwords stolen through a stylesheet. Keep your head on a swivel kids.
https://github.com/maxchehab/...13 -
When the purpose of your app starts with a "C" then just replace it with a "K" and tada: You have a cool new hipster name for it!
Example:
Collaborate -> Kollaborate
How cool is that?!!18 -
How to reproduce:
human - F**k
process - Fork
Is that skeumorphism of words/sound by Unix developers ?5 -
In college, teacher teams us with other guy,
I tell him to do backend coding in JS
He says: Dude, What is JS?
Fu*k7 -
How many of you naturally used Allman style, even though your first programming class taught you to use K&R?
24 -
Chuck Norris can write Java without wearing glasses. He can C#.
Chuck Norris can compile C++ with just a word editor and K&R.
Chuck Norris can read the comment you almost put in on line 63 (it would have been very helpful.)
Chuck Norris can optimize programs in binary.
Chuck Norris does garbage collection with his mind.6 -
Microsoft WHAT THE ACTUAL F**K. WHAT IS THE REASON TO UPDATE VISUAL STUDIO INSTALLER TO UNINSTALL VISUAL STUDIO.16
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Hello devRant world, from Stockholm!
I've been lurking around for a while now and feel time has come to open up and start contributing :)
Thank you for being there and for lifting our spirits up, through good and dark times, equally.
~k
(photo: mad light at midnight)
12 -
My office has blocked access to all external websites. Only internal, self-hosted sites under our domain work.
P E A K. S E C U R I T Y.15 -
Some days am broke 😣
Some days am rich 🤑
Some days am nice ☺
Some days I can be a d*#k 😠
Some days am strong 💪
Some days I quit 😞
But I get up and move on 🚶🏾
Coz am a PROGRAMMER 👨🏾💻2 -
StackOverflow knows everything!
One night I asked question on SO first time. So next morning, really excited man, want to see my scores. But result was -3 rating! "F**k!" And urgently deleted my question. But SO gave me `Peer pressure` badge, badge for `Delete own post with score of -3 or lower.`... OMG!3 -
So Im making my best friend (which is a girl) a website. I'm not a pro at it so please don't roast me. I am self taught and still learning. A few opinion and ideas would hurt ? K:
30 -
Me (front dev): We should use nodejs for this project...
CTO (back): Nah... Fu*k Node! Php ftw
Now: we have a php framework with a nodejs server for the front end6 -
:Junior> man, i saw a little bug here. lemme fix it.
:Teamlead> (*hmm, nothing wrong should happen*) well, k, try not to mess everything up
:Junior> yeah, yeah, i know
*1.5h later*
:Teamlead> *opened github* ...?
6 -
Arrived at office then almost immediately the boss, who's also a developer, tells me he changed something on the protocol/api.
Me thinking: u just broke the api without thinking on consequences but hey... Ur the boss...
Later, he says: look, our app crashes!
Me: obviously...
:/ what the f**k was he thinking... :/9 -
After being in China for one week,I realized how much I actually use Google during the day.don't know how they do this but even using a VPN is not a solution most of the times :-? At least devRant is not blocked here;)13
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!rant
Breaking point in System Architecture. The point where you define it is ok for the system to break if you user doesn't meets the expected threshold of intellect.
In plain words, you say "F**K it, if someone is that stupid, let the system go down"
They don't teach this in college.9 -
Do you know what's better than getting work done. HAVING ANOTHER F****ING MEETING ABOUT WHAT WORK NEEDS TO BE DONE!
I COULD'VE HAD MOST OF THIS SHIT DONE BY NOW BUT I HAVE TO SPEND 1/2 OF EVERY DAY JUST EXPLAINING WHAT THE F***K I'M DOING, WHAT THE F**K EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING, AND THEN EXPLAINING WHY IT HASN"T BEEN F***ING DONE!
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY EVERYONE IS LEAVING WHY YOU CAN'T RETAIN ANYONE? YOU HIRED THEM AS FREAKING ENGINEERS PROMISING THEM THEY WOULD BE ABLE TO DO THINGS AND THEY SPEND ALL DAY IN F***ING MEETINGS WASTING THEIR IQ AND WISHING FOR DEATH!
GGAAAHHHHH! BY THE EMPEROR PLEASE COMMISSAR END ME!4 -
Was just working in a restaurant's kitchen when chef told me "can you make me a website ?"
Me :thinking: : "Mmh k..."5 -
Me: *implements design given by client*
My boss: *opens ticket*
"This is not acceptable. this looks like a child made his first website"
k thxbye4 -
Mom: what is it you do exactly?
Me: I make web sites and test computers for bugs.
Mom: What is a bug?
Me: it is when a program does something you do not want it to do.
Mom: k, I don't understand how money is made in that. But, you know (random store) is hiring.2 -
Why dark is spelled with a 'K' and not 'C'?
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Because you can't 'C' in dark.8 -
today a developer delivered his code.
and I found
- all "i" variables missing
- all "(" closings missing
- all "k" characters missing
latter I found out that it was because his middle finger was hurting :XD5 -
Can someone please build an SVG vector file format equivalent that uses json instead of xml? k thnx! 😆14
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Yes of course, my problem is not having enough memory to throw an exception of not enough memory ...
5 -
Random guy to 3d artist : Want to listen joke
3d artist : sure
Random guy : Mac
3d artist : Fu×k u2 -
That moment when one a simple feature request devolves into fixing all other issues of a service we own.
F******k -
Has anyone ever taken on a project where you dont know what you are getting yourself into, and then start it and going down the rabbit hole of docs and then at some point ask yourself "what the f u c k am i doing?"8
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My grandmother started dating soon after granddad's death.
Death of Grandpa: fuser -k 80/tcp
Announcement to all programs, port 80 is now free7 -
God, Allman indentation style is such pain... God bless K&R...
For those who don't know, Allman is this:
void foo(void)
{
statement;
statement;
}
and K&R is this:
void bar(void) {
statement;
statement;
}12 -
f**king people asking to design admin panel colorfully with these f**king psd images, I was like literally crying inside, I have never seen such a damn f**king admin panel. f**k off managers
5 -
If you or a loved one suffer from whatever the f u c k this is...
Send them to the fucking hospital
9 -
-kno
-who's there?
-ck, k
-what!?
-...
-...
-no
-...
-...
-...
-ckknockit'smeMrLag
-Areyoukiddingme!??kekfkfh+_udjd773jddjfctrlaltdeldeldeldel -
Remember the post about bruce's constant?(4.5099806905005)
Well apparently theres a convergent series for it found all the way back in 2015.
Apparently its an actual thing. Which connects e to the square root of this series.
And it converges on (bruce-1)**0.5.
I confirmed it myself.
The two people who found the series that converges are N. J. A. Sloane and Hiroaki Yamanouchi
Thank you Sloane and Hiroaki!
The actual formula is a series of embedded square roots with the repeating numbers 1,4,2,8,5,7
like so...
sqrt(1+sqrt(4+sqrt(2+sqrt(8+sqrt...
What this means is you can find e using this series.
All you do is run the series, raise by a power of 2, add 1, calculate J and K like so
J = log(2, 1.333333333333333) / log(2, 2)
K = log(2, 1.333333333333333) / log(2, 3)
then calculate (J+K)-(bruce-1)
and out pops our buddy e:
2.7182818284591317
I guess I bullshitted myself for so long, that I didn't believe people like scor when they said they legit witnessed by math skills grow.
Or maybe a blind squirrel occasionally DOES find a nut.
Pretty cool find either way.
13 -
Why do these people want CoC(k) in original linux?
As Linux is fucking open source, why don't they make their own fork.
They can call it whatever they want and they can surely add code which is not based on meritocracy.
A good suggestion for name would be CoCoS (pronounced as Cock OS)
9 -
that moment when you write 100 lines of code for particular purpose and at last you find built in function for that purpose
f**k f**k f**k -
Believe it or not, none of these mices are working. This is my traveling setup, this laptop used to be a gaming computer, but now it's just really tired (but it still can run servers so it's k)
7 -
Just entered my password, looked at devrant on my phone, looked back on the screen. "Here you go f**kwhit, I turned into the blue screen of death just because I didn't had your attention"
Did this another time while writing this rant. F**K OFF Winderp!
12 -
Colleague: No the logic is stored in post_2.php but before you edit it make sure you make a post_2.bk.php just in case we need to revert the change.
Me: ....k4 -
I'm addicted to the Visual Studio shortcut ctrl+K - ctrl+D to automatically format my code and hate it when I pull down the latest version and it's not formatted properly. 😲5
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DO NOT f**king run automation and performance on the same f**king environment! You'll f**k up both the tests. Today is gonna be a long day.1
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I fucking hate being a Dev sometimes.
G i v e m e f u l f i l l i n g t a s k s p l e a s e
Not these shitty ones with API documentation riddled with holes 🫠😥6 -
A new mathematical constant was discovered recently: Bruce's constant
I took some code from the paper and adapted it in python.
def bruce(n):
J = log(n, 1.333333333333333) / log(n, 2)
K = log(n, 1.333333333333333) / log(n, 3)
return ((J+K)-e)+1
gives e everytime for ((J+K)-bruce)+1, regardless of the value of n.
bruce can always be aproximated with the decimal 4.5, telling you how close n can be used to aproximate e (usually to two digits).
Bruce's constant is equal to 4.5099806905005
It is named after that famous mathematician, bruce lee.
You'll start with four limbs and end up with two in a wheelchair!6 -
var a = {
value: -1,
toString: function() {
return ++this.value;
}
}
if(a & !a) {
console.log("F**k you JS!");
}
if(a == 2 && a == 3) {
console.log("F**k you again JS!");
}6 -
Never NEVER accept friend request from other area.
A guy from the sales department sent me 10 messages through Facebook to give priority to him because he is my friend.
S**k it Manolo.3 -
!dev
K pop is garbage and yet somehow their fans are a bigger cancer than that sad excuse of music.30 -
Anyone that stands in the middle of an open space building and talks loudly is an absolute cunt.
Nobody wants to hear you bitch about your problems, so kindly shut the fuck up. K thanks2 -
JSON: "Ok fine you can use our syntax and everything else but make sure you change the name of the format so people know there is a difference"
MongoDB : "K"3 -
I don't understand people who write "Fu*k" instead of "Fuck", dude everyone know what's that means anyway and you definitely not going to become a Honorable man or you will go to heaven by doing this. Seriously.11
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To,
GOOGLE CHROME
F**K U
the sh*ttiest browser ever
Thanking you,
yours faithfully,
annoyed developer8 -
Opened an old document using Office, tried hours to move around the document but couldn't.
Then realised, I was pressing 'h', 'j', 'k' and 'l'.
😒😒2 -
Me: I don't understand, why is this not working?
After a few hours of debugging and continuous re-starting the server and most important praying to GOD
Me: F**k! how is this working? Ok let's not touch it, it's working -
Mail provider: "You are over your storage quota"
Me: "K, guess I'll clean up the junk I have on there then?"
Mail provider: "We also block IMAP connections for accounts over the storage quota"
>.>5 -
!rant
Finally got myself a czech copy of "The Book". Happiest day in 2017 so far 😁
How do you make yourselves happy, fellow ranters?
2 -
Any enterprise web service which ignores http standards. If you have a Fucking error return 500 not 200 with an error string you f--k
-
Forget the people that don't use tests.
If you are a guy that doesn't even use error handling,
F U C K Y O U
I can't move on my tasks because the fucker doesn't have any error handling and he is absent so i have to fix them.
fucker.1 -
WordPress makes me a violent person. I just fucking hate WordPress with all my guts.
Fuck WordPress. F U C K WordPress.5 -
Stackoverflow started 8 years ago.
Is there no hope for us "noobs" to ever see the 'k' at the end of our points?
All these 100K + users and i'm over here rejoicing in the 48 points that I was able to muster up with some effort T-T
7 -
"the footer of the site is broken"
seriously, f..k wysiwyg-editors!
all they do is creating invalid bloated html and I'm supposed to clean up the mess behind the content managers...7 -
Hi.
Forgot to renew my expiring ssl cert of my smtp/imaps/pop3s on 12/31. Set that date to self-harm me for bad monitoring.
F**K F**K F**K F**K...
Why do I do that?
F******K!
Meh.
You shall have a happy new year... i will regen certs :D -
I HATE PHP.
I hate it with all my guts.
It's weirdly cobbled together, nothing fits for anything, it's a NON PROFESSIONAL TOOL. AT. ALL. PLEASE STOP DOIN' STUFF WITH IT AND REWRITE YOUR STACK IN COBOL/BRAINF**K.
I HATE IT.14 -
"Raspbian has no auto-updates installed by default"
Raspbian on boot: "running daily apt update and upgrade"
K.3 -
Turns out
if(double.TryParse(input, out double value)
{
//Do something with value
}
can't be used in compilers using C# versions prior to 7.0. Reason: → out double value ←
...k den7 -
Every f*k**g morning.. "Good morning _____, goood morning!" I'm so tired of these work from home Zoom calls with my boss. OMG. Everybody gotta suck her dick like we like her. Aaaaaaah. #tears2
-
Does anyone else get blackouts at the end of the week. I mean those moments when you stare at the screen and wonder what the fu*k were you doing right now.
-
My favorate bookmarklet (ES6 only):
javascript:(()=>{var b,c,a=document,f="onreadystatechange",h="https://rawgithub.com/smore-inc/...=(p,q)=>{p.readyState?p[f]=()=>{"loaded"!=p.readyState&&"complete"!=p.readyState||(p[f]=null,q&&q())}:p.onload=function(){q&&q()}},k=()=>{clippy.load("Clippy",p=>{$(".clippy").css("position","fixed"),$(".clippy").css("z-index",1e3),p.show(),p.moveTo(100,100)})},m=()=>{(c=a.createElement("script")).src=h+"clippy.js",a.body.appendChild(c);var p=a.createElement("link");p.rel="stylesheet",p.type="text/css",p.media="all",p.href=h+"clippy.css",a.getElementsByTagName("head")[0].appendChild(p)};"undefined"==typeof jQuery?(b=a.createElement("script"),b.src="https://ajax.googleapis.com/ajax/...,j(b,()=>{m(),j(c,k)})):"undefined"==typeof clippy?(m(),j(c,k)):k()})();14 -
I accidentally deleted a folder containing contracts and files worth millions.
There's no backup. 😭😭😭. EaseUS didn't help with the entire recovery.
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J K. I put a recurring backup every week 😌. Hadn't made any changes in the past week. 😂.6 -
Please, stop using `i`, `j` and `k` in loops... specially if they are nested, help the fellow programmer after you29
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Programmer BF before we were dating: I love my job. My job is the best thing ever. I will never love anything as much as I love coding.
Me: K
*A few months later*
Me: Ugh, your alarm is going off. Wake up.
PBF: I don't wanna go to work 😭
Me: Oh really? 😏6 -
// Posting this as a standalone rant because I've written the best piece of code ever.
// Inspired by https://devrant.com/rants/1493042/... , here's one way to get to number 50. Written in C# (no, not Do diesis).
int x = 1;
int y = x + 1;
int z = y + 1;
int a = z + 1;
int b = a + 1;
int c = b + 1;
int d = c + 1;
int e = d + 1;
int f = e + 1;
int g = f + 1;
int h = g + 1;
int i = h + 1;
int j = i + 1;
int k = j + 1;
int l = k + 1;
int m = l + 1;
int n = m + 1;
int o = n + 1;
int p = o + 1;
int q = p + 1;
int r = q + 1;
int s = r + 1;
int t = s + 1;
int u = t + 1;
int v = u + 1;
int w = v * 2 * -1; // -50
w = w + (w * -1 / 2); // -25
w = w * -1 * 2; // 50
int addition = x+y+z+a+b+c+d+e+f+g+h+i+j+k+l+m+n+o+p+q+r+s+t+u+v;
addition = addition * 2;
if (addition == w)
{
int result = addition + w - addition;
Console.Writeline(result * 1 / 1 + 1 - 1);
}
else
{
char[] error = new char[22];
error[0] = 'O';
error[1] = 'h';
error[2] = ' ';
error[3] = 's';
error[4] = 'h';
error[5] = 'i';
error[6] = 't';
error[7] = ' ';
error[8] = 'u';
error[9] = ' ';
error[10] = 'f';
error[11] = 'u';
error[12] = 'c';
error[13] = 'k';
error[14] = 'e';
error[15] = 'd';
error[16] = ' ';
error[17] = 'u';
error[18] = 'p';
error[19] = ' ';
error[20] = 'm';
error[21] = '8';
string error2 = "";
for (int error3 = 0; error3 < error.Length; error3++;)
{
error2 += error[error3];
}
Console.Writeline(error2);
}5 -
While I'm doing my hacker rank problem I have seen new word instead of using letter like I,j,k .but it is weired .Can I just know what is t_itr is that has any operation? In for loop "for "t_itr" in range t"
16 -
That moment when first coding challenge is a mathematical expression evaluator with custom unary operators but your code does not meet the standard because it did not cure cancer.
The fuck you mean I had no unit tests. You specifically told me that you don't want a lot of code. F@$#&#k -
I need some time off. Just had this convo with a dev-manager about an 'issue' with our system change mgmt calendar (Blazor) app.
K: "In the system drop-down, it's not filtering when I type."
Me: "Let me check <I attempt to reproduce>, yep, not working. Do you get the same error? Looks like duplicate data from the database is causing a problem."
<this is over MS Teams, about 5 minutes go by with no response, then>
K: "No error, its not working."
<I find the bad data, delete it, TADA, the filtering is working again>
Me: "The filtering is working again, at least for me. You sure you didn't see an error?"
<wait 5 minutes again>
K: "No, no error."
Me: "You didn't see a little red banner at the bottom and in all caps..ERROR"
<send him a screen-shot of the error I still had in another tab>
K: "Yes, I saw that one, but no other errors. Filtering is working again. Thanks"3 -
I know A.I can produce child in some way (ai can make another ai) But without f**k, the only job left for me is to become PornStar();1
-
Just needing to vent a bit...
We start off with classic asp.net & Xamarin. K.
Then we run into the shitshow that's lackluster documentation and heavy push for asp.net core.
Whatever, will just handroll things.
K. Azure is quickly turning expensive..
Well let's find alternatives.
Yeah, no Linux ain't gonna work.
Wanna shell out for a windows server? Nah.
K. Well, let's rewrite in asp.net core then.
Nginx proxy passthrough to kestrel. Ez.
Now.. wtf is the deal with mssql behaving like a turd on Linux?
Oh now some security jibber about telemetry and adding Microsoft keys to root.
Whatever. I can do PHP & MariaDB then.
1001 things wrong about Xamarin now.
Mostly performance related.
Especially cuz custom renderers for everything.
& Abused onPropertyChanged.
Uh la la, look at that sexy thing called react native.
Hippytyhop new tool for the job.
Ugh wee, what's this ? Customer impatient & deadline for months worth in Xamarin => 1 week.
Whelp I be fudge..6 -
This is important.
I officially proclaim myself impressed with @K-ASS and their CSS skills. Those pure CSS spheres are amazing, and I regard their CSS skills as “very high”. Probably higher than most of the programmers out there, maybe just shy of spec-writing demigods out there in knowledge. Yet, not shy in creativity.
Congratulations!16 -
FUCK! I've done this a fucking God fucking damn million fucking God fucking damn times fucking before! FUCK! FUUUUCK! FUUUUUUUUUCK!
The best part is that someone is going be paying me once it works............................... FUUUUU K!
2 -
Should I be ashamed?
I hardly ever use "i" as a counter in for loops
I most likely use "k" and "j"; "i" stands for "index"23 -
I got so used to vim like bindings on spacemacs, i3wm, firefox(with vimium) in such a way that I was pressing j and k on Microsoft Word like a moron and wondering why that shit isn't scrolling up or down.
-
!dev
FUUUU*K, I lost my wallet today with a ton of important cards inside.. F**K F**K F**K FML
Note of the day: A wallet is as important as a smartphone is!5 -
F**k this. Exactly The same site is displaying differently. Only thing changed? On left access is by local IP, on right by URL using no-ip.
Apparently it grabs CSS from project on another port
7 -
*cloning and building this other team's Android project*
"install API 21, current is 23" K
"needs gradle wrapper 2.2, you have 2.10" umm, OK
"this project is using gradle 1.2.3, current is 2.1.1". (ノ-_-)ノ~┻━┻ -
If I have four unknown variables, x, y, j, and k, but know the values of x*j, y/k, and k/j, and x*j == y/k
How do I go about getting the values of the individual unknown variables?10 -
Me:put proper variable names so that i can remember later what this loop does
After writing some good names
Me: i will remember it i am just gonna put initials
After a week or two.....
Me:wtf these a,b,c,d,i,j,k,l variables do2 -
Must be K&R, Ken Thompson for being the inventors of Unix and C. Also, lots of authors of various books prescribed in college
-
I just used Visual studio c++ for the first time. In comparison to intellij it just sucks, so many features are missing, im fighting with the editor all the time.. For example Code completion, visual studio suggests me the method name, i press enter, new line inserted, wtf? Apparently only tab is working here, next try, visual studio suggests method, I click tab, method name inserted but whithout brackets, omg. The standard shortcut for commenting out code is CTRL+K followed by CTRL+C, if you want to use the code again you need to use CTRL+K followed by CTRL+U. HOW STUPID IS THIS? Refactoring of code, e.g. Method names also sucks...5
-
I've been away a while, mostly working 60-70 hour weeks.
Found a managers job and the illusion of low-level stability.
Also been exploring elliptic curve cryptography and other fun stuff, like this fun equation...
i = log(n, 2**0.5)
base = (((int((n/(n*(1-(n/((((abs(int(n+(n/(1/((n/(n-i))+(i+1)))))+i)-(i*2))/1))/1/i)))))*i)-i)+i))
...as it relates to A143975 a(n) = floor(n*(n+3)/3)
Most semiprimes n=pq, where p<q, appear to have values k in the sequence, where k is such that n+m mod k equals either p||q or a multiple thereof.
Tested successfully up to 49 bits and counting. Mostly haven't gone further because of work.
Theres a little more math involved, and I've (probably incorrectly) explained the last bit but the gist is the factorization doesn't turn up anything, *however* trial lookups on the sequence and then finding a related mod yields k instead, which can be used to trivially find p and q.
It has some relations to calculating on an elliptic curve but thats mostly over my head, and would probably bore people to sleep.2 -
Out of all the debates we have on devrant... we have yet to reach the most important one.
Ground Coffee or k-cups>16 -
If we could lay off the LinkedIn jokes, that would be great. These things are already more stale than a 100 year old bagel, K? Thanks. The rest of the dev community thanks you. 🙄3
-
So a front-end that:
- Contains duplicate data in the same page
- Does not adjust itself well with content that's not lorem ipsum
- Only looks aligned properly on one screen size
- Contains sections that I have no idea what to feed from my backend
k I can be a full-stack dev too. ty front-end guy. -
K.
1. Uni wants me to use Java.
2. I don't like Java, because everything that I am used to, is different.
3. I look up easy things online on shitty websites...
4. C'm on journaldev... Where 's da cookiebanner?
4 -
Challenge: rank the following in your favourite order:
A: Stargate shows
B: Battlestar Galactica (and Caprica)
C: StarTrek
D: Westworld
E: Star wars
F: Doctor Who
G: Black mirror
H: X files
I: Matrix films
J: Babylon 5
K: Altered Carbon
L: The Arrival
And any other sci-fi shows/films I've missed19 -
Updated my Azure aide project to ASP .NET Core 2.0.
Works perfectly in develop in Debug and Release.
Deploy to Azure.
502.5
No error logs, no feedback, no explanation.
K den.1 -
So I'm learning Vim at the moment... and one thing that bugs me is that the navigation arrows are h,j,k,l.
On the german keyboard layout, when I use the 10-finger-system, my right hand is in this constellation: forefinger on j, middle finger on k, ring finger on l, and little finger on ö.
So wouldn't it be better if the navigation would be j,k,l,ö instead of h,j,k,l?
Or is this different in english keyboard layout?
I'm confused 🤔6 -
I hate Mondays. I hate Mondays even more if everything went wrong. F**k this day. Tomorrow is a new one.
-
Knock: K is silent
Hour: H is silent
Numb: B is silent
Wrong: W is silent
JavaScript: Java is silent2 -
I'm intrigued, what are you all trying to learn in your spare time and how?
I'll go first, brushing up on maths by reading K A Stroud advanced engineering mathematics.
He's got an intro level book that's also very good.5 -
Sucks when you are more excited about a project than anyone else!
F$#k it. Instead of doing it for the company I'll do it for myself as a side project!
Anyone interested in building an Alexa skill?1 -
I am an ancient beast called "Humturnal".
..half human..half nocturnal..
I answer life problem and code like a beast at night.
I wake up tired as f**k and I remember nothing in the morning.1 -
Google and TikTok sitting is a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G
First comes love, then comes marriage
Then comes a baby in a baby carriage
---
I see this every time I need to manually update some apps...
19 -
Here's some delphi code where one random developer from the 80s tries to force an error
if k=N then
begin
Memo.Lines.Add('Error, [some info]');
a:= 0 ; b:=b/a; {Here we try to force an error}
end ;
Oh god :'( -
I invested 1000 rs in bitcoins today. My 1st 0.002289 BTC 😁😇. (1000 yet to invest). Lol its a small amount i k.2
-
Today's achievement: wrote game of life in K3.
neigh:{(+/,/-1 0 1!'\:/:-1 0 1!\:x)-x}
life:{(x*2=neigh x)|3=neigh x}15 -
accurately estimates number of primes under k
from k=29, to k=232 (within +/- 1..2)
ceil(k-((phi/(1/((log(phi**(k-6), phi))/1))))/2)
Played with an alife I made.
And built a system to explore long chains of polynomials where the exponents were prime.
You can look at it if you like here:
https://pastebin.com/3trWAU7v
Don't blame me if your console explodes though!12 -
"Hey mate, you should learn some zen coding you know."
"Ow that's one of your tricky bullshit"
"No man, look and learn!"
"OH FOR F***K SAKE! ARE YOU A WITCH?"
-
Just spent 3 hours looking for an error in the client program. I later found out that it was a server-side error :D
k m n -
I went to a machine learning meet up.. I asked every one over there to explain me K-means algorithm. I got K different answers, then I applied K-means algorithm on K different answers to form K clusters..1
-
I love doing what we do b/c we're always solving tough problems... But f@&k it sucks just before the right answer becomes clear! It always feels like it's impossible, until you're playing with your daughter and her Barbie dolls... Then it's a battle of not forgetting it....1
-
I would rant about apple and their horrible horrible system of just even being able to deploy an app to testers..
But you have to pay me 100$ a year so you can be able to find it out yourself, fuck support, we just want free money ~ herr jobs/ herr coo(c)k4 -
started with
printf("Hello World... It's 2010")
Journey to
cout
println
Document.write
echo
Stayed at
try:
print('hey there...')
except:
print('got issue.... Fu#k this bug')
pass -
Today's task: create a wireframe for the website.
Teamlead doesn't give a fucc about me, k I'm chilling then. I looked at their work and I saw a picture where a stickman types the domain in the browser and then the site appears (as a printscreen of the existing site I've done so far) -
Yester... TODAY at 4am because of another typical 4am episode
I understood everything.
And I mean EVERYTHING. Remember how I declared that I dropped the search for the worldview that suits me? Well, I somehow found it and it’s surprisingly good.
Maybe I’ll share the notion document.
K boubas bye 😘3 -
There are contractors in office to take out garbage (devices, boxes etc) that we'd put away last week as part of spring cleaning
Now they're doing it on premises ...
Sound of metal, boxes, clutter, breaking this and that. This is quite annoying and hard to bear
And a freaking Monday, why can't they arrange shit over the weekend.
It's no noisy like a (scrap) kabadi shop.
sounds in the background
[bam
bang DING
RRUUMBLE SCRUNCH SCRUUMBLE SCRUUUNCHH
ca-chunk
Chrrrick chrrrick chrrrick chrrrrick
CHUMMA CHUMMA CHUMMA, HUFFT HUFFT FALUMP
gr gr k k grk
clickety-clack
GRRRAKKA KKAKKAKKAKKAKKAKKAKK AKKAKKAKKAKK AKKAKKAKK AKKA KKAKKA AKK
tluck....tlock]
Dark music plays ....
source: http://www.writtensound.com/i -
Hey I've learnt something funny.
If I listen to music in a language I understand (spanish/english/ very little japanese), I get instantaneously distracted expecting lyrics to make sense.
My solution: listen to something I can't uderstand shit, i.e. K-Pop
Kinda funny and doesn't distracted that much haha5 -
lesson learned...
never run yaourt -Syu --aur without checking the upgrade list.
reboot-> system doesn't boot -> F**k
reboot (runlevel 3)
discover that nvidia-beta and nvidia-utils mismatch version.
fix it editing pkgbuild of nvidia-beta to install lastest version.
reboot->everything works.
Results: succesfully wasted 25minutes.3 -
For those who f**k with PHP language, this is a required reading article from Slack about their decision to develop on PHP
(I guess that you guys could copy/paste this URL)
https://slack.engineering/taking-ph...2 -
Pretty tired, plus working on something that at some point needs 4 or 5 for loops inside each other
End result: for (i=0; k<=Nspecies; ++j)
Mhkay time for coffe -
For F^^k sake Microsoft give us some way to protect .net code from easy reflection / decompilation ..... Obfuscation just doesn't cut it.1
-
I almost everytime these days start counting from zero in real life and f**k up the calculations and recalculate and do the same mistake. I hate programming.
Happy programmers day -
That moment I saw a yeti factories intro with rasterbars on the commodore 64 at my cousins house, I knew I need to know how the f**k this was done! I was 10y old 😁
-
When you tell user to open browser and try to browse any website to che k if Internet is working. When they see google search box and tells you, yes Internet is working!!!2
-
!basicNonHarmfulExploitTest
A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
K
L
M
N
O
P
Q
R
S
Lets see If I can mess up the character cutoff limit 😜3 -
How the fu k do I remove this shit?! I can't find the fucking package name. Big hint: IT'S NOT FIRE!!!
7 -
This headhunter even took the time to bold out the hipster verbs like: blockchain, microservices, angular, react and vue keywords and hashtags ...
K thx bye
*BLOCKED* -
emulation accuracy is important, kids
here's a set of S3&K songs recorded off my 3DS to show why
(thanks, jEnesisDS!)
https://drive.google.com/open/... -
IT IS BOILING HOT IN HERE
I had to get out for a half hour for bcuz of updating my citizen ID and boy do I get motivated to #stayathome.
Sadly, 303°K is not enough for killing coronavirus.
16 -
K&R style Brackets are so goddamn shitty. I hate hate hate hate that style. It makes code so goddamn hard to read. And for what gain? You write "less" lines of code? So what? Who gives five fucks about that? Readability is key for coders.7
-
that moment when you spend 3 days searching resources for creating CMS with php from scratch and you suddenly remember java spring on devrant
f**k f**k f**king f**k -
Why would the great linux devs and the 'C prophets' choose K&R indentation model ahead of Allman's model ? Its saddening that i would have to work with K&R style for my future works !5
-
Q.14 - Suppose that R sends a msg 'm' which is digitally signed to M and the pair of private and public keys for M and R be denoted as K(x)- and K(x)+ for x=R,M respectively. Let K(x)(m) represent the encryption of 'm' with a key K(x) and H(m) is the message digest. Which of the following is the way of sending the msg 'm' along with the digital signature to M?
A. [m, K(R)+(H(m))]
B. [m, K(R)-(H(m))]
C. [m, K(M)-(H(m))]
D. [m, K(A)+(m)]
E. WOW, REALLY ?5 -
So I stashed my changes to switch branches and quickly fix a f**k up, then I switched back and went to 'pop' the stash.... only I didn't click 'pop' I clicked...'delete' and GitKraken or ShitKraken as it should be called, didn't ask for confirmation... it just deleted all my changes. FML5
-
New Year Resolution:
Keep my files organised. Thinkpad laughed at me saying how about finishing last year's resolution of keeping your Desktop organised.
Me: F**K it -
Check out the TypeScript Patcher i made lol
i was bored so i had to do something :D
https://typescriptlang.org/play/...1 -
Why the f**k youtube keeps showing me TOTALLY WHITE youtube premium ad in my dark mode?
Do I need to buy premium just for this shit?7 -
First of all, this is a bit of spam. So maybe you don't want to read this. I don't want to waste your time.
----
I recently started a blog where I write about my experiences of dev life, git and others.
Currently it's only in Spanish but I don't discard to create an English one. :)
Blog: https://k-site.ghost.io/4 -
Creative javascript encrypters:
((86.4E1, 0x169) > (1.116E3, 1.22E2) ? (0xE5, "k") : 0x96 >= (1.182E3, 7.74E2) ? (53, 1.56E2) : (112, 0x115))
just to write "k" -
K, how to get started with HTML, CSS and JS basics? I want to get started right away and would like to have something like a reference tutorial, with short helpful code. Nothing like a course or something. Hope you can help me.3
-
if(
bathroomrenovation &&
startdate < now() - 4 weeks &&
!showerisfitted
){
do {
print ("Where the f**k is my f**king shower!");
} while (delay);
}10 -
when the code works: that's f**king easy
when the code doesn't work: what the f**k is going on, you dirty piece of sh*t, you f**king computer, sh**y compiler.
oh, dear! I missed a semicolon1 -
So the cocks* where i work have recently started a policy where sleep mode is no longer a good idea anymore. This is so that they can push gpupdates everyday, i.e bogus corporate propaganda such as changing our desktop wallpaper. Like developers give a fly f* about corporate events and wtf marketing actually do with their time. Filled with noisey ass b*.
I wouldn't be half surprised if the policy is enacted by the head of IT. C* refuses to teach any one on his team so this way he looks important and busy all of the time.10 -
Business: The feature is not as aspected.
Dev: This is what you asked for.
Business: I ask for something else.
Dev: Please refer to the documentation.
Business: F**k with document.
Dev: You only the documentation. -
I used to like Richard until he said he likes Emacs more than Vim. What the f**k mahn, Luke seriously?2
-
I can confirm that Crystal lang v1.0.0 is not stable really. I seem to have hit a block. For example, I get error messages like this frequently:
`Error: can't use Hash(K, V) as generic type argument yet, use a more specific type`.
I love the "yet" in this message; it gives you some hope!5 -
its just me or when im f-k work hard for days
i take a f-k big reset for weeks without doing anything
even coding make me cry as f-k
and i cant just do it at that time
im to laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy7 -
Dear devs, what gadgets do you often use that help your daily programming?
Even if you only have m+k, what do you prefer?7 -
i chose to work late today so I can have the office all to myself. however, I'm surrounded by art directors that keeps on playing cat and/or queer videos.
sorry pm, i guess i'll be taking that buffer and some.
k. bye.1 -
Count the fingers on both hands
if it comes 10 then f**k u
else if it is < 10 you are definitely a programmer.14 -
there are new changes to https://github.com/vindicit/...
I made a visual windows form, please criticize just not to harshly k7 -
Let's say I take a matrix of high entropy random numbers (call it matrix J), and encode a problem into those numbers (represented as some integers which in turn represent some operations and data).
And then I generate *another* high entropy random number matrix (call it matrix K). As I do this I measure the Pearson's correlation coefficient between J (before encoding the problem into it, call Jb), and K, and the correlation between J (after encoding, let's call it Ja) and K.
I stop at some predetermined satisfactory correlation level, let's say > 0.5 or < -0.5
I do this till Ja is highly correlated with some sample of K, and Jb's correlation with K is close to 0.
Would the random numbers in K then represent, in some way, the data/problem encoded in Ja? Or is it merely a correlation?
Keep in mind K has no direct connection to J, Ja, or Jb, we're only looking for a matrix of high entropy random numbers that indicated a correlation to J and its data.
I say "high entropy", it would be trivial to generate random numbers with a PRNG that are highly correlated simply by virtue of the algorithm that generated them.12 -
I'm working a site were the typography is set in "pt's" for desktop use! Not pixels, em's, or rem's - just pt's
Just what the actual f**k?4 -
Made a new site, added a contest to draw people in... People do the contest and never come back F#@K. They don't even hit a single other page on the site
-
so.. k
my name is not my name and i'm only 40 years old and its really 2022 ! I give ! Or Take or whatever ! and the world is fine, and people are great and none of this happened before ! can I do something different now or could all of you fucking fucks ?2 -
that moment when you got just one night to prepare app for arduino based robot with pattern recognition. No hardware component with me and whole thing goes on asumption
f**k competition -
while not all(pokedex):
for k, v in pokedex.iteritems():
if v:
feelings = get_satisfaction()
else:
pokemon = find_em()
try:
new = catch_em(pokemon)
except PokemonEscaped:
continue
else:
pokedex[k] = new
feelings = get_satisfaction() -
Not a function, but a java object... SortedMap saves my ass all the time. Be it market-basket analysis, or selecting top k individuals in an evolutionary algorithm xD5
-
Microsoft Teams login says password is incorrect then and for a captcha
I type it again but fails...
I'm like wtf... Could it be the captcha...
Which I entered in all lowercase
It doesn't say the captcha is case sensitive though..
Next few times it gives me captchas with k... Teehee me like 5 tries to login
Are we trying to verify passwords/humanness or whether I can somehow tell the difference between K and k?1 -
Ah, the eternal battle between "Allman style" and "K&R style" bracing. Because arguing over where to put an opening curly brace is what I dreamed of when I became a developer.
Can we just agree on something and move on?3 -
Spent months writing up a model and fine tuning, trained on complex image data (all we had to work with), to work well with what it needed to do.
Only to have “subject matter experts” be like: why don’t you use PCA and K Nearest Neighbours.
The fuck do you think the baseline was written with?
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