i, j and k declared as globals. You fucking moron.

* The app is almost ready, boss asked me to show the progress.

Boss: The design is bad, I don't like it 🤔
Me: I just implemented the design, which is approved
Boss: Really? because I "feel" that the design is bad on the screen.
Me: Okay 😐, can you tell me what exactly the part to change?
Boss: I don't know, *calls the designer
Designer: *showing his PSDs* yes it is the same, and you [the boss] approved it.
Boss: Ok make some changes to make it feel better.
Me: (Inside: 😡 ) ok, have you some suggestions?
Boss: dunno,
Me: at least tell me what is wrong with it
Boss: dunno
Me:🤢

F**k Customer

F🤬k!! why doesn’t this work on the testing server!l! I swear it worked local.

Meanwhile live:

oh hey
it’s just me
o
v
e
r
t
h
i
n
k
i
n
g
yet again

Web dev working in a shell:

And lemme copy that, ctrl-c.
Process stopped.
F**k!

I want the legendary I phone (x-h)^2 + (v - k)^2 = r^2 !!!

B a l l m e r P e a k

M instead of K wasted my whole day. So much furious 😡

I replaced my friends CMD shortcut with this target:
CMD.exe /k rickroll.bat & cls
The file rickroll.bat contains a script that launches VLC in the background on loop playing Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up at a very low volume. Every now and then it increases the volume.
So original, I know....

-Why you don't use WordPress for every client? It's less work same money.

- because f#*k you.

Hello, mister Boss man. If you'd please stop referring to me and my colleges as "resources". K, thx.

Boss : "just" hack the google AdWords and show our company ad everywhere on google search"

"Don't you know that everything can be hacked?"

Me : "Ok, first let me ***k you."
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I mean "let me hack you"

D E L E T E _ F A C E B O O K !

Do you build some eastereggs into your homepages / apps?

When you press F + U + C + K together on my newest creation you get something like this :-D

!rant

So this happened in the zoom meeting today. 2 colleagues were arguing on something.

A : "Do I look like f**king joke to you?"
B : " No, you don't look like a joke , your camera is off. But you sound like one. "
A : "I am so tired of you , f**k you man"
B: " Hey you can't f**k me without my consent, I said I am not interested."

Me : "Uhm guys this is scrum meeting."
B: "No shit captain obvious, we all know that. "

I am so speechless.....

Please make an entire webshop with animated shopping cart in react + redux within a week 👍

We will then reject you for the position and thank you for rewriting our tech stack for the frontend 😂 K THX BAIII

I wrote an algorithm which runs in constant time complexity, we can say it runs just O(K).

Developers coding cycle:

Start of Project - "Right, I am going to make this code clean and structured."

Deadline looming - "F**k it, just throw the code in there and get it finished".

Actual email I just sent to a customer:

"I logged into your account and I see the problem. I will update you and have it fixed either by tonight or tomorrow morning. It is a rare bug we have encountered before, and we are working on it as you read this. "

The truth:

"Im fucking drunk right now. I know that error. I put off fixing it for awhile now hoping it wouldn't come up because it's fucking annoying to fix. I'll try to fix it tomorrow morning, k no promises though. If I can't I'll still have your problem taken cats of it just means I'll have to do it manually. Anyway.. Gonna drink some more now, bye. "

P. S. There is no we. It's just me. K bye.

What the f**k is this changelog.

I remember when my professor in Linux Kernel Programming told us this is a programmers bible, everyone has this one right ?

F**K I LOST MY DEVRANT LOGO STICKER

Try this line of javascript in a browser:

<pre id=p><script>n=setInterval("for(n+=7,i=k,P='p.\\n';i-=1/k;P+=P[i%2?(i%2*j-j+n/k^j)&1:2])j=k/i;p.innerHTML=P",k=64)</script>

I HATE working with MS Office products. Yes, Access, I'm looking at you, you backwards, whanabe database reject! You're invalid as a serious SQL database and retarded as an data application suite.

VBA, make up your MIND with your damn function calls! Either require me to use parenthesis or don't! I'm sick of this conditional parenthesis sh*t!

While we're talking about not making up your mind... screw 'sub', you half wit language! Either use functions like a real language or go the f&$k home and make room for a language that knows what it's doing!

Oh!!! WHY... WHY! do you have null AND... NOTHING?! Who... Who... WHO invented "nothing"?! And what sick joke are you playing at with isnull() and empty()??? How many damn ways so you need to test for "no value"?!?!

Access... That's right, I'm not done with you yet... How is it you've survived this damn long in the business world with all of the databases you corrupt? Sure, you suck as a real database, but at least have some freaking pride that people even USE you! How DARE your corrupt yourself with the regularity you seem to have! I wish my bowel movements were as regular as your database corruptions, for the love of humanity.

F$@k you, VBA! F@&k you, Access! F$#k you, MS Office! And Fuuuuuu$k YOU Microsoft for shoving these half assed reject tools down my throat!

I hope your cloud uses Access as a back end and gets some injection virus.

*Takes deep breath* need to say that.

Oke so this just happened...

Spent 30 minutes figuring out why the f**k a div was vertically centered within another one.

Apparently margin:auto within a display: flex not only centers horizontally but also vertically.

I remember the days when i spent hours vertically centering sh*t. What universe are we in?

Look at the 'k' in 'keyboard'... Fuck this fucking shit. I'm wasting my life with this stupid things

After weeks of hard work creating a website:

It looks so beautiful 😭

*opens in a different browser*

WHAT THE HECK! why is all my divs flying here and there !

*opens in mobile*

f*#k this

New girl at work: "I like using internet explorer"

Me: "F youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!".....In my head, but breath out, smile and say "hmm k"

When the purpose of your app starts with a "C" then just replace it with a "K" and tada: You have a cool new hipster name for it!

Example:
Collaborate -> Kollaborate

How cool is that?!!

How to reproduce:
human - F**k
process - Fork

Is that skeumorphism of words/sound by Unix developers ?

In college, teacher teams us with other guy,
I tell him to do backend coding in JS
He says: Dude, What is JS?

Fu*k

How many of you naturally used Allman style, even though your first programming class taught you to use K&R?

How Linux users swear:
What the fork !

Remember to use good coding practices

Stickers!!

F U C K

I just lost all of the images of a website of a client

It's json!!!! Not Jason.... m*th**Fu*k**

I'm f**king annoyed today

Today can f**k off and suck my balls

Rant over 😡

Hello devRant world, from Stockholm!

I've been lurking around for a while now and feel time has come to open up and start contributing :)

Thank you for being there and for lifting our spirits up, through good and dark times, equally.

~k

(photo: mad light at midnight)

My office has blocked access to all external websites. Only internal, self-hosted sites under our domain work.

P E A K. S E C U R I T Y.

That moment when you already used i, j and k for variable names in your loops.

Microsoft WHAT THE ACTUAL F**K. WHAT IS THE REASON TO UPDATE VISUAL STUDIO INSTALLER TO UNINSTALL VISUAL STUDIO.

Hats off to the spirit of this guy 🙌

Never lose hope

K-keep coding ☺️

F U C K I N G
P R O C R A S T I N A T I O N

Some days am broke 😣
Some days am rich 🤑
Some days am nice ☺
Some days I can be a d*#k 😠
Some days am strong 💪
Some days I quit 😞
But I get up and move on 🚶🏾
Coz am a PROGRAMMER 👨🏾‍💻

StackOverflow knows everything!

One night I asked question on SO first time. So next morning, really excited man, want to see my scores. But result was -3 rating! "F**k!" And urgently deleted my question. But SO gave me `Peer pressure` badge, badge for `Delete own post with score of -3 or lower.`... OMG!

So Im making my best friend (which is a girl) a website. I'm not a pro at it so please don't roast me. I am self taught and still learning. A few opinion and ideas would hurt ? K:

Me (front dev): We should use nodejs for this project...
CTO (back): Nah... Fu*k Node! Php ftw
Now: we have a php framework with a nodejs server for the front end

:Junior> man, i saw a little bug here. lemme fix it.
:Teamlead> (*hmm, nothing wrong should happen*) well, k, try not to mess everything up
:Junior> yeah, yeah, i know

*1.5h later*

:Teamlead> *opened github* ...?

After being in China for one week,I realized how much I actually use Google during the day.don't know how they do this but even using a VPN is not a solution most of the times :-? At least devRant is not blocked here;)

Arrived at office then almost immediately the boss, who's also a developer, tells me he changed something on the protocol/api.

Me thinking: u just broke the api without thinking on consequences but hey... Ur the boss...

Later, he says: look, our app crashes!

Me: obviously...

:/ what the f**k was he thinking... :/

F**k Java.
Enough said.

Was just working in a restaurant's kitchen when chef told me "can you make me a website ?"
Me :thinking: : "Mmh k..."

Do you know what's better than getting work done. HAVING ANOTHER F****ING MEETING ABOUT WHAT WORK NEEDS TO BE DONE!

I COULD'VE HAD MOST OF THIS SHIT DONE BY NOW BUT I HAVE TO SPEND 1/2 OF EVERY DAY JUST EXPLAINING WHAT THE F***K I'M DOING, WHAT THE F**K EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING, AND THEN EXPLAINING WHY IT HASN"T BEEN F***ING DONE!

YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY EVERYONE IS LEAVING WHY YOU CAN'T RETAIN ANYONE? YOU HIRED THEM AS FREAKING ENGINEERS PROMISING THEM THEY WOULD BE ABLE TO DO THINGS AND THEY SPEND ALL DAY IN F***ING MEETINGS WASTING THEIR IQ AND WISHING FOR DEATH!

GGAAAHHHHH! BY THE EMPEROR PLEASE COMMISSAR END ME!

That moment when my boss pitched his blockchain & cryptocurrency idea to me.

!rant

Breaking point in System Architecture. The point where you define it is ok for the system to break if you user doesn't meets the expected threshold of intellect.

In plain words, you say "F**K it, if someone is that stupid, let the system go down"

They don't teach this in college.

Mom: what is it you do exactly?

Me: I make web sites and test computers for bugs.

Mom: What is a bug?

Me: it is when a program does something you do not want it to do.

Mom: k, I don't understand how money is made in that. But, you know (random store) is hiring.

hack
crack

A T T A C K !

Me: *implements design given by client*
My boss: *opens ticket*
"This is not acceptable. this looks like a child made his first website"

k thxbye

Worst git f**k up?

F-U-C-K WINDOWS 11!

413 Payload too large, oh f**k

When you come home, boot your pc and see this...

Mmmh k. Guess no gaming tonight xD

today a developer delivered his code.
and I found
- all "i" variables missing
- all "(" closings missing
- all "k" characters missing

latter I found out that it was because his middle finger was hurting :XD

Yes of course, my problem is not having enough memory to throw an exception of not enough memory ...

Can someone please build an SVG vector file format equivalent that uses json instead of xml? k thnx! 😆

Random guy to 3d artist : Want to listen joke

3d artist : sure
Random guy : Mac
3d artist : Fu×k u

Why dark is spelled with a 'K' and not 'C'?
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Because you can't 'C' in dark.

That moment when one a simple feature request devolves into fixing all other issues of a service we own.

F******k

Has anyone ever taken on a project where you dont know what you are getting yourself into, and then start it and going down the rabbit hole of docs and then at some point ask yourself "what the f u c k am i doing?"

-kno
-who's there?
-ck, k
-what!?
-...
-...
-no
-...
-...
-...
-ckknockit'smeMrLag
-Areyoukiddingme!??kekfkfh+_udjd773jddjfctrlaltdeldeldeldel

You know you need to take a break when you start scrolling through webpage using `j` and `k` keys

Country, job, and salery?

I'll start:
Norway
React Developer
55 k

God, Allman indentation style is such pain... God bless K&R...

For those who don't know, Allman is this:
void foo(void)
{
statement;
statement;
}

and K&R is this:
void bar(void) {
statement;
statement;
}

DO NOT f**king run automation and performance on the same f**king environment! You'll f**k up both the tests. Today is gonna be a long day.

f**king people asking to design admin panel colorfully with these f**king psd images, I was like literally crying inside, I have never seen such a damn f**king admin panel. f**k off managers

If you or a loved one suffer from whatever the f u c k this is...

Send them to the fucking hospital

Just entered my password, looked at devrant on my phone, looked back on the screen. "Here you go f**kwhit, I turned into the blue screen of death just because I didn't had your attention"
Did this another time while writing this rant. F**K OFF Winderp!

that moment when you write 100 lines of code for particular purpose and at last you find built in function for that purpose
f**k f**k f**k

Why do these people want CoC(k) in original linux?
As Linux is fucking open source, why don't they make their own fork.
They can call it whatever they want and they can surely add code which is not based on meritocracy.

A good suggestion for name would be CoCoS (pronounced as Cock OS)

My grandmother started dating soon after granddad's death.
Death of Grandpa: fuser -k 80/tcp
Announcement to all programs, port 80 is now free

Caption this!

I'll start:
FUCK YOU
New Linux CoC(k) suckers!

Remember the post about bruce's constant?(4.5099806905005)

Well apparently theres a convergent series for it found all the way back in 2015.

Apparently its an actual thing. Which connects e to the square root of this series.

And it converges on (bruce-1)**0.5.
I confirmed it myself.

The two people who found the series that converges are N. J. A. Sloane and Hiroaki Yamanouchi

Thank you Sloane and Hiroaki!

The actual formula is a series of embedded square roots with the repeating numbers 1,4,2,8,5,7
like so...
sqrt(1+sqrt(4+sqrt(2+sqrt(8+sqrt...

What this means is you can find e using this series.

All you do is run the series, raise by a power of 2, add 1, calculate J and K like so

J = log(2, 1.333333333333333) / log(2, 2)
K = log(2, 1.333333333333333) / log(2, 3)

then calculate (J+K)-(bruce-1)
and out pops our buddy e:
2.7182818284591317

I guess I bullshitted myself for so long, that I didn't believe people like scor when they said they legit witnessed by math skills grow.

Or maybe a blind squirrel occasionally DOES find a nut.

Pretty cool find either way.

Colleague: No the logic is stored in post_2.php but before you edit it make sure you make a post_2.bk.php just in case we need to revert the change.

Me: ....k

Believe it or not, none of these mices are working. This is my traveling setup, this laptop used to be a gaming computer, but now it's just really tired (but it still can run servers so it's k)

I fucking hate being a Dev sometimes.

G i v e m e f u l f i l l i n g t a s k s p l e a s e

Not these shitty ones with API documentation riddled with holes 🫠😥

Never NEVER accept friend request from other area.

A guy from the sales department sent me 10 messages through Facebook to give priority to him because he is my friend.

S**k it Manolo.

I'm addicted to the Visual Studio shortcut ctrl+K - ctrl+D to automatically format my code and hate it when I pull down the latest version and it's not formatted properly. 😲

Daily Standup with HR... what the f**k is going on..? 🤨

^(f|F)+(u|U)+(c|C)+(k|K)+(!|?)+$

I don't understand people who write "Fu*k" instead of "Fuck", dude everyone know what's that means anyway and you definitely not going to become a Honorable man or you will go to heaven by doing this. Seriously.

var a = {
value: -1,
toString: function() {
return ++this.value;
}
}

if(a & !a) {
console.log("F**k you JS!");
}

if(a == 2 && a == 3) {
console.log("F**k you again JS!");
}

A new mathematical constant was discovered recently: Bruce's constant

I took some code from the paper and adapted it in python.

def bruce(n):
J = log(n, 1.333333333333333) / log(n, 2)
K = log(n, 1.333333333333333) / log(n, 3)
return ((J+K)-e)+1

gives e everytime for ((J+K)-bruce)+1, regardless of the value of n.

bruce can always be aproximated with the decimal 4.5, telling you how close n can be used to aproximate e (usually to two digits).

Bruce's constant is equal to 4.5099806905005

It is named after that famous mathematician, bruce lee.

You'll start with four limbs and end up with two in a wheelchair!

JSON: "Ok fine you can use our syntax and everything else but make sure you change the name of the format so people know there is a difference"

MongoDB : "K"

> testing cronjob
> * * * * * /script.sh
> CPU spike to 100% all time

*FU#K*

To,
GOOGLE CHROME

F**K U
the sh*ttiest browser ever

Thanking you,
yours faithfully,
annoyed developer

Mail provider: "You are over your storage quota"
Me: "K, guess I'll clean up the junk I have on there then?"
Mail provider: "We also block IMAP connections for accounts over the storage quota"

>.>

!dev

K pop is garbage and yet somehow their fans are a bigger cancer than that sad excuse of music.

!rant

Finally got myself a czech copy of "The Book". Happiest day in 2017 so far 😁

How do you make yourselves happy, fellow ranters?

Any enterprise web service which ignores http standards. If you have a Fucking error return 500 not 200 with an error string you f--k

WTF (Windows The F**K)

"Full http monitor"

Opened an old document using Office, tried hours to move around the document but couldn't.
Then realised, I was pressing 'h', 'j', 'k' and 'l'.
😒😒

Forget the people that don't use tests.
If you are a guy that doesn't even use error handling,
F U C K Y O U
I can't move on my tasks because the fucker doesn't have any error handling and he is absent so i have to fix them.
fucker.

ORA-00942: table or view does not exist.
Which f**king table?! F**k you Oracle.

Anyone that stands in the middle of an open space building and talks loudly is an absolute cunt.

Nobody wants to hear you bitch about your problems, so kindly shut the fuck up. K thanks

Synonyms of counter:
i
j
k
x
#loop

WordPress makes me a violent person. I just fucking hate WordPress with all my guts.
Fuck WordPress. F U C K WordPress.

Me: I don't understand, why is this not working?

After a few hours of debugging and continuous re-starting the server and most important praying to GOD

Me: F**k! how is this working? Ok let's not touch it, it's working

how i feel every Windows 10 update: WHAT THE FUCK WINDOWS 10 WHAT THE F U C K

401(k)?

More like 404(k) Retirement not found

Stackoverflow started 8 years ago.
Is there no hope for us "noobs" to ever see the 'k' at the end of our points?
All these 100K + users and i'm over here rejoicing in the 48 points that I was able to muster up with some effort T-T

How the f**k am I gonna press F1

I HATE PHP.

I hate it with all my guts.
It's weirdly cobbled together, nothing fits for anything, it's a NON PROFESSIONAL TOOL. AT. ALL. PLEASE STOP DOIN' STUFF WITH IT AND REWRITE YOUR STACK IN COBOL/BRAINF**K.

I HATE IT.

Hi.
Forgot to renew my expiring ssl cert of my smtp/imaps/pop3s on 12/31. Set that date to self-harm me for bad monitoring.

F**K F**K F**K F**K...

Why do I do that?
F******K!

Meh.

You shall have a happy new year... i will regen certs :D

Every f*k**g morning.. "Good morning _____, goood morning!" I'm so tired of these work from home Zoom calls with my boss. OMG. Everybody gotta suck her dick like we like her. Aaaaaaah. #tears

anyone into K-POP?

calling all Buddies !

"the footer of the site is broken"

seriously, f..k wysiwyg-editors!
all they do is creating invalid bloated html and I'm supposed to clean up the mess behind the content managers...

I just found out devRant UWP client us made with VB.NET (oh f**k)

Why???

"Raspbian has no auto-updates installed by default"

Raspbian on boot: "running daily apt update and upgrade"

K.

Does anyone else get blackouts at the end of the week. I mean those moments when you stare at the screen and wonder what the fu*k were you doing right now.

Programmer BF before we were dating: I love my job. My job is the best thing ever. I will never love anything as much as I love coding.

Me: K

*A few months later*

Me: Ugh, your alarm is going off. Wake up.

PBF: I don't wanna go to work 😭

Me: Oh really? 😏

I get that I'm new with this programming stuff. Yet why is it I feel I'm fighting the UI of Android than actually programming. Why is it so damn hard to display something in a nav draw. Really depressing when I can't get the damn ui to work to make the click events. Fine I got the damn menu to show. F**k if I can get the child's to show up to continue on the f**king project. F**k me with a cactus.

i deleted my swap partition

F**k

That moment when first coding challenge is a mathematical expression evaluator with custom unary operators but your code does not meet the standard because it did not cure cancer.

The fuck you mean I had no unit tests. You specifically told me that you don't want a lot of code. F@$#&#k

I accidentally deleted a folder containing contracts and files worth millions.

There's no backup. 😭😭😭. EaseUS didn't help with the entire recovery.

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.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

J K. I put a recurring backup every week 😌. Hadn't made any changes in the past week. 😂.

!dev

FUUUU*K, I lost my wallet today with a ton of important cards inside.. F**K F**K F**K FML

Note of the day: A wallet is as important as a smartphone is!

I need some time off. Just had this convo with a dev-manager about an 'issue' with our system change mgmt calendar (Blazor) app.

K: "In the system drop-down, it's not filtering when I type."
Me: "Let me check <I attempt to reproduce>, yep, not working. Do you get the same error? Looks like duplicate data from the database is causing a problem."
<this is over MS Teams, about 5 minutes go by with no response, then>
K: "No error, its not working."
<I find the bad data, delete it, TADA, the filtering is working again>
Me: "The filtering is working again, at least for me. You sure you didn't see an error?"
<wait 5 minutes again>
K: "No, no error."
Me: "You didn't see a little red banner at the bottom and in all caps..ERROR"
<send him a screen-shot of the error I still had in another tab>
K: "Yes, I saw that one, but no other errors. Filtering is working again. Thanks"

I know A.I can produce child in some way (ai can make another ai) But without f**k, the only job left for me is to become PornStar();

FUCK! I've done this a fucking God fucking damn million fucking God fucking damn times fucking before! FUCK! FUUUUCK! FUUUUUUUUUCK!

The best part is that someone is going be paying me once it works............................... FUUUUU K!

F**k this. Exactly The same site is displaying differently. Only thing changed? On left access is by local IP, on right by URL using no-ip.

Apparently it grabs CSS from project on another port

If we could lay off the LinkedIn jokes, that would be great. These things are already more stale than a 100 year old bagel, K? Thanks. The rest of the dev community thanks you. 🙄

*cloning and building this other team's Android project*
"install API 21, current is 23" K
"needs gradle wrapper 2.2, you have 2.10" umm, OK
"this project is using gradle 1.2.3, current is 2.1.1". (ノ-_-)ノ~┻━┻

Aaaaarrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh

F*%K

Should I be ashamed?
I hardly ever use "i" as a counter in for loops
I most likely use "k" and "j"; "i" stands for "index"

While I'm doing my hacker rank problem I have seen new word instead of using letter like I,j,k .but it is weired .Can I just know what is t_itr is that has any operation? In for loop "for "t_itr" in range t"

I just used Visual studio c++ for the first time. In comparison to intellij it just sucks, so many features are missing, im fighting with the editor all the time.. For example Code completion, visual studio suggests me the method name, i press enter, new line inserted, wtf? Apparently only tab is working here, next try, visual studio suggests method, I click tab, method name inserted but whithout brackets, omg. The standard shortcut for commenting out code is CTRL+K followed by CTRL+C, if you want to use the code again you need to use CTRL+K followed by CTRL+U. HOW STUPID IS THIS? Refactoring of code, e.g. Method names also sucks...

Out of all the debates we have on devrant... we have yet to reach the most important one.

Ground Coffee or k-cups>

Is it a sin to want to shove your boss' d**k in boiling oil for not paying you for 2 months?

Me:put proper variable names so that i can remember later what this loop does
After writing some good names
Me: i will remember it i am just gonna put initials
After a week or two.....

Me:wtf these a,b,c,d,i,j,k,l variables do

Azure sucks!

I have been pulling my hair off using Azure. All questions I posted on their support doesn't have any answers.

Their documentation is overwhelming as hell, they don't provide enough examples. They just put information like they expect the user already knows it.

F*K U AZURE

Ctrl + k + c to comment code in Visual Studio Code for those who didn't know

This is going to be fun. We are switching our phone system to use Zoom and the turn on date is sometime in October (couple of weeks away). I have a feature I'm working on (automated phone calls) that the salesman said was fully functional (jump through a hoop, stand on your head, turn around three times, type of functional). Tried the steps they gave me, got to #3 and there is no virtual agent API call I can find to hand off/transfer the call. Send our contact at Zoom some questions, responds "That is a feature we might put in a future product. Can't do that right now." WTF?!
Other developers are running into similar "How do we get there from here?" issues that features promised, either don't exist or don't work.

One feature in particular I'm receiving a 403 permission denied error.
K: "Feature X needs to be enabled."
Me: "It is."
<send a screenshot showing the feature enabled>
K: "Your account doesn't have permissions. Have the sysadmin elevate you authentication level."
Me: "I'm an admin"
<send a screenshot showing my admin status>
K: "I'll have to get back with you."

Its been 3 days and no update on my ticket. *sigh*

So I'm learning Vim at the moment... and one thing that bugs me is that the navigation arrows are h,j,k,l.
On the german keyboard layout, when I use the 10-finger-system, my right hand is in this constellation: forefinger on j, middle finger on k, ring finger on l, and little finger on ö.
So wouldn't it be better if the navigation would be j,k,l,ö instead of h,j,k,l?
Or is this different in english keyboard layout?
I'm confused 🤔

F**k Mobile Safari and all of its shit about overflow and scrolling.

I've been away a while, mostly working 60-70 hour weeks.

Found a managers job and the illusion of low-level stability.

Also been exploring elliptic curve cryptography and other fun stuff, like this fun equation...

i = log(n, 2**0.5)
base = (((int((n/(n*(1-(n/((((abs(int(n+(n/(1/((n/(n-i))+(i+1)))))+i)-(i*2))/1))/1/i)))))*i)-i)+i))

...as it relates to A143975 a(n) = floor(n*(n+3)/3)

Most semiprimes n=pq, where p<q, appear to have values k in the sequence, where k is such that n+m mod k equals either p||q or a multiple thereof.

Tested successfully up to 49 bits and counting. Mostly haven't gone further because of work.

Theres a little more math involved, and I've (probably incorrectly) explained the last bit but the gist is the factorization doesn't turn up anything, *however* trial lookups on the sequence and then finding a related mod yields k instead, which can be used to trivially find p and q.

It has some relations to calculating on an elliptic curve but thats mostly over my head, and would probably bore people to sleep.

Why some single letter variable names looks ugly to me, for example: c, i and j (and even k) are the most used (mostly in for loops) but does not look ugly.. why?

Ugly
for (int a = 0; a < 10; ++a)

Not ugly
for (int i = 0; i < 10; ++i)

F U C K

QUEUE
me: don't do it
her: don't do it
hex: don't do it
the lobe: don't do it

brain: k-wèh-weh 😬

Why do programmers always start with variable I,j,k for loops and not a,b, c ...?

If I have four unknown variables, x, y, j, and k, but know the values of x*j, y/k, and k/j, and x*j == y/k

How do I go about getting the values of the individual unknown variables?

Must be K&R, Ken Thompson for being the inventors of Unix and C. Also, lots of authors of various books prescribed in college

Knock: K is silent

Hour: H is silent

Numb: B is silent

Wrong: W is silent

JavaScript: Java is silent

Please, stop using `i`, `j` and `k` in loops... specially if they are nested, help the fellow programmer after you

Just needing to vent a bit...

We start off with classic asp.net & Xamarin. K.

Then we run into the shitshow that's lackluster documentation and heavy push for asp.net core.
Whatever, will just handroll things.

K. Azure is quickly turning expensive..
Well let's find alternatives.

Yeah, no Linux ain't gonna work.
Wanna shell out for a windows server? Nah.
K. Well, let's rewrite in asp.net core then.
Nginx proxy passthrough to kestrel. Ez.

Now.. wtf is the deal with mssql behaving like a turd on Linux?
Oh now some security jibber about telemetry and adding Microsoft keys to root.

Whatever. I can do PHP & MariaDB then.

1001 things wrong about Xamarin now.
Mostly performance related.
Especially cuz custom renderers for everything.
& Abused onPropertyChanged.

Uh la la, look at that sexy thing called react native.
Hippytyhop new tool for the job.

Ugh wee, what's this ? Customer impatient & deadline for months worth in Xamarin => 1 week.

Whelp I be fudge..

I got so used to vim like bindings on spacemacs, i3wm, firefox(with vimium) in such a way that I was pressing j and k on Microsoft Word like a moron and wondering why that shit isn't scrolling up or down.

I hate Mondays. I hate Mondays even more if everything went wrong. F**k this day. Tomorrow is a new one.

I am an ancient beast called "Humturnal".
..half human..half nocturnal..

I answer life problem and code like a beast at night.
I wake up tired as f**k and I remember nothing in the morning.

Google and TikTok sitting is a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G

First comes love, then comes marriage

Then comes a baby in a baby carriage

---

I see this every time I need to manually update some apps...

Challenge: rank the following in your favourite order:

A: Stargate shows
B: Battlestar Galactica (and Caprica)
C: StarTrek
D: Westworld
E: Star wars
F: Doctor Who
G: Black mirror
H: X files
I: Matrix films
J: Babylon 5
K: Altered Carbon
L: The Arrival

And any other sci-fi shows/films I've missed

This only makes sense in computer science ❤️:

val n = k / 4 * 4

I'm intrigued, what are you all trying to learn in your spare time and how?

I'll go first, brushing up on maths by reading K A Stroud advanced engineering mathematics.

He's got an intro level book that's also very good.

Here's some delphi code where one random developer from the 80s tries to force an error
if k=N then
begin
Memo.Lines.Add('Error, [some info]');
a:= 0 ; b:=b/a; {Here we try to force an error}
end ;

Oh god :'(

var this = that; //TODO: Go F**K your self !!!

K.
1. Uni wants me to use Java.
2. I don't like Java, because everything that I am used to, is different.
3. I look up easy things online on shitty websites...
4. C'm on journaldev... Where 's da cookiebanner?

Hardware:
The Part of the computer that you can kick, slap, and do whatever the f**k you want..

Whenever I take a break from my editor, I end up pressing j and k to scroll up and down in be browser, only to be disappointed. Looks like someone at FB was having the same problem and added it to their newsfeed. Thanks bud!

I went to a machine learning meet up.. I asked every one over there to explain me K-means algorithm. I got K different answers, then I applied K-means algorithm on K different answers to form K clusters..

Just spent 3 hours looking for an error in the client program. I later found out that it was a server-side error :D

k m n

Updated my Azure aide project to ASP .NET Core 2.0.
Works perfectly in develop in Debug and Release.
Deploy to Azure.
502.5
No error logs, no feedback, no explanation.

K den.

I love doing what we do b/c we're always solving tough problems... But f@&k it sucks just before the right answer becomes clear! It always feels like it's impossible, until you're playing with your daughter and her Barbie dolls... Then it's a battle of not forgetting it....

K guys, i need your advice. Best phone 2017?

Sucks when you are more excited about a project than anyone else!

F$#k it. Instead of doing it for the company I'll do it for myself as a side project!

Anyone interested in building an Alexa skill?

Today's achievement: wrote game of life in K3.

neigh:{(+/,/-1 0 1!'\:/:-1 0 1!\:x)-x}
life:{(x*2=neigh x)|3=neigh x}

~rant
In addition to my last rant the full command line utility I was building.

I invested 1000 rs in bitcoins today. My 1st 0.002289 BTC 😁😇. (1000 yet to invest). Lol its a small amount i k.

lesson learned...
never run yaourt -Syu --aur without checking the upgrade list.

reboot-> system doesn't boot -> F**k
reboot (runlevel 3)
discover that nvidia-beta and nvidia-utils mismatch version.
fix it editing pkgbuild of nvidia-beta to install lastest version.
reboot->everything works.

Results: succesfully wasted 25minutes.

Hey I've learnt something funny.
If I listen to music in a language I understand (spanish/english/ very little japanese), I get instantaneously distracted expecting lyrics to make sense.
My solution: listen to something I can't uderstand shit, i.e. K-Pop
Kinda funny and doesn't distracted that much haha