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Instant rage.35 -
I was giving an interview this other day and I was sharing my screen with the interviewer.
Interviewer 😦: Is this linux you are using?
Me 😅: Ah yes. Since this is a coding round I am not comfortable on windows for coding.
Interviewer 😳: And this is your personal laptop?
Me 😁: Yes, since the only use of windows is primarily to play games and the games I play are usually supported on linux, I dont see any reason why my daily driver should be anything other than linux.
Interviewer 😯: What distro is this?? Looks cool.
Me 😆: Its Ubuntu with KDE Plasma. There are some really cool things in here which actually make my life quite easier.
Interviewer ☺️: I must check this out today itself. Lets start with the interview then.
Me 😊: *Blushing in my mind
And this is how you score some instant brownie points in an interview. Actually if truth be told, that laptop was actually my work laptop and my personal laptop has windows on it because nvidia and Assassin's Creed.19 -
After listening to two of our senior devs play ping pong with a new member of our team for TWO DAYS!
DevA: "Try this.."
Junior: "Didn't work"
DevB: "Try that .."
Junior: "Still not working"
I ask..
Me:"What is the problem?"
Few ums...uhs..awkward seconds of silence
Junior: "App is really slow. Takes several seconds to launch and searching either crashes or takes a really long time."
DevA: "We've isolated the issue with Entity Framework. That application was written back when we used VS2010. Since that application isn't used very often, no one has had to update it since."
DevB: "Weird part is the app takes up over 3 gigs of ram. Its obviously a caching issue. We might have to open up a ticket with Microsoft."
Me: "Or remove EF and use ADO."
DevB: "That would be way too much work. The app is supposed to be fully deprecated and replaced this year."
Me: "Three of you for the past two days seems like a lot of work. If EF is the problem, you remove EF."
DevA: "The solution is way too complicated for that. There are 5 projects and 3 of those have circular dependencies. Its a mess."
DevB: "No fracking kidding...if it were written correctly the first time. There aren't even any fracking tests."
Me:"Pretty sure there are only two tables involved, maybe 3 stored procedures. A simple CRUD app like this should be fairly straight forward."
DevB: "Can't re-write the application, company won't allow it. A redesign of this magnitute could take months. If we can't fix the LINQ query, we'll going to have the DBAs change the structures to make the application faster. I don't see any other way."
Holy frack...he didn't just say that.
Over my lunch hour, I strip down the WPF application to the basics (too much to write about, but the included projects only had one or two files), and created an integration test for refactoring the data access to use ADO. After all the tests and EF removed, the app starts up instantly and searches are also instant. Didn't click through all the UI, but the basics worked.
Sat with Junior, pointed out my changes (the 'why' behind the 'what') ...and he how he could write unit tests around the ViewModel behavior in the UI (and making any changes to the data access as needed).
Today's standup:
Junior: "Employee app is fixed. Had some help removing Entity Framework and how it starts up fast and and searches are instant. Going to write unit tests today to verify the UI behaivor. I'll be able to deploy the application tomorrow."
DevA: "What?! No way! You did all that yesterday?"
Me: "I removed the Entity Framework over my lunch hour. Like I said, its basic CRUD and mostly in stored procedures. All the data points are covered by integration tests, but didn't have time for the unit tests. It's likely I broke some UI behavior, but the unit tests should catch those."
DevB: "I was going to do that today. I knew taking out Entity Framework wouldn't be a big deal."
Holy fracking frack. You fracking lying SOB. Deeeep breath...ahhh...thanks devRant. Flame thrower event diverted.13 -
Someone at Google: how do we make Android build times quicker?
Someone else at Google: we could make a new button next to Run and call it 'Instant Run' and give it an awesome lighting bolt icon!
First someone: what will it do differently?
Second someone: nothing 😎14 -
So they were having trouble with the server always being slow and maxed to 100%, so the boss told me when wait times were hitting 5+mins due to server trying to catch up, he complained at me, said if I could get the wait time to 30sec to instant he would raise my pay to 90k a year, then walked away after I agreed, I was quite serious but I don't think he thought I was, so I decided to look over the system, IDK who but they put all the calculations and processing server-side for the CA's on floor then sent the completed view to the CA, so I spent months recreating the entire system except the server only pulled the data needed then the new client would do all the processing on their computer since they weren't doing anything anyways, I did a practice run today as its one of our peak days, wait times went to barely 5secs or "instant" according to CA's, I walked into the office, slapped that hourly report down after just two hours and showed the massive increase in employees production times.
That look on his face...
That look on my face...
That look on my next check...
Bliss10 -
Today was different at work. It felt as if something was missing. The circle of fun at work that was developed over last two months among few of us was gone overnight..
Two months ago, we ( 7, including our PM ) were shifted from our cabin space to this special room by boss in hopes to keep our ass under fire and increase our productivity. Everyone in the office saw this room like a concentration camp as it was next to boss 's office. Nobody liked the idea of working in that room. We were seen as prisoners as we walked into our work cage.
In the cage, there is a fixed table. We had to adjust our workspace around that table. Everyone was just an arm length away from each other. It didn't take that long to form a bond among us. Some of us would bring snacks and we all shared it and ate it there. We had fights and discussions. The girl in my team and other team would have silly fights about their legspace boundary. The guy who is on a quest to find his life partner would seek for our opinions about his matrimony findings. That time the girls roasted guy about his patriarchal attitude. Instant discussions on current events. Movie reviews and sharing about various life experiences. Lots of such memories were formed and shared over last two months while we worked in there.
For me, it felt like living "The Office" in real life. It was amazing. I was starting to forget my dreams of self employment and plans to resign career because this human connection was addictive. We all learned a little more about each other which otherwise would not have been happened outside the cage.
We didn't realize the bubble and dynamics we had formed in that room until it was gone today when we were shifted back to our cabin space.
It was obvious we were little sad inside having to say bye to our bubble.
😅4 -
While I was looking for a wallpaper to use on my laptop, I bumped on this one and nostalgia kicked in!
It only took an instant to save it and set it!!! 😂
Whoever did this, s/he gets my respect!
24 -
The university system is fucked.
I've been working in this industry for a few years now, but have been self taught for much longer. I'm only just starting college and I'm already angry.
What does a college degree really mean anymore? From some of the posts I've seen on devRant, it certainly doesn't ensure professional conduct, work ethic, or quality (shout out to the brave souls who deal with the lack of these daily). Companies should hire based on talent, not on a degree. Universities should focus more on real world applications or at least offer such programs for students interested in entering the workforce rather than research positions. A sizable chunk of universities' income (in the U.S. at least) comes from research and corporate sponsorships, and educating students is secondary to that. Nowadays education is treated as a business instead of a tool to create value in the world. That's what I signed up for, anyway - gaining the knowledge to create value in the world. And yet I along with many others feel so restricted, so bogged down with requirements, fees, shitty professors, and shitty university resources. There is so much knowledge out there that can be put to instant practical use - I am constantly shocked at the things left out of my college curriculum (lack of automated tests, version control, inadequate or inaccurate coverage of design patterns and philosophies) - things that are ABSOLUTELY essential to be successful in this career path.
It's wonderful that we eventually find the resources we need, or the motivation to develop essential skills, but it's sad that so many students in university lack proper direction through no fault of their own.
Fuck you, universities, for being so inflexible and consistently failing to serve your basic purpose - one of if not the most important purpose on this earth.
Fuck you, corporations, for hiring and paying based on degree. Fuck you, management, for being so ignorant about the industry you work in.
Fuck you, clients, who treat intelligent people like dirt, make unreasonable demands, pull some really shady shit, and perpetuate a damaging stereotype.
And fuck you to the developer who wrote my company's antipattern-filled, stringy-as-all hell codebase without comments. Just. Fuck you.17 -
curl cheat.sh — get an instant answer to any question on (almost) any programming language from the command line
tldr
do curl cht.sh/go/execute+external+program to see how to execute external program in go
And this question: why I actually should I start the browser, and the browser has to downloads tons of JS, CSS and HTML, render them thereafter, only to show me some small output,
some small text, number or even some plot. Why can't I do a trivial query from the command line
and instantly get what I want?
I decided to create some service that will work as I think such a service should work.
And that is how wttr.in was created.
Nowadays you probably know, how to check the weather from the command line, but if not:
curl wttr.in
or
curl wttr.in/Paris
(curl wetter in Paris if you want to know the weather in Paris)
After that several other services were created (the point was to check how good the console
can solve the task, so I tried to create services providing information
of various nature: text, numbers, plots, pseudo graphic etc.):
curl rate.sx/btc # to check exchange rate of any (crypto)currency
curl qrenco.de/google.com # to QRenco.de any text
And now last but not least, the gem in this collection: cheat.sh.
The original idea behind the service was just to deliver a various UNIX/Linux command line cheat sheets via curl. There are several beautiful community driven cheat sheet repositories such as tldr, but the problem is that to use them you have to install them first, and it is quite often that you have no time for it, you just want to quickly check some cheat sheet.
With cheat.sh you don't need to install anything, just do:
curl cheat.sh/tar (or whatever)
you will get a cheat sheet for this command (if such cheat sheet exists inf one of the most popular community-driven cheat sheet repositories; but it surely does).
But then I thought: why actually show only existing cheat sheets? Why not generate cheat sheets or better to say on the fly? And that is how the next major update of cheat.sh was created.
Now you can simply do:
curl cht.sh/python/copy+files
curl cht.sh/go/execute+external+program
curl cht.sh/js/async+file+read
or even
curl cht.sh/python/копировать+файл
curl cht.sh/ruby/Datei+löschen
curl cht.sh/lua/复制文件
and get your question answered
(cht.sh is an alias for cheat.sh).
And it does not matter what language have you used to ask the question. To be short, all pairs (human language => programming language) are supported.
One very important major advantage of console oriented interfaces is that they are easily
programmable and can be easily integrated with various systems.
For example, Vim and Emacs plugins were created by means of that you can
query the service directly from the editor so that you can just write your
questions in the buffer and convert them in code with a keystroke.
The service is of course far from the perfection,
there are plenty of things to be fixed and to be implemented,
but now you can see its contours and see the contours of this approach,
console oriented services.
The service (as well as the other mentioned above services) is opensource, its code is available here:
https://github.com/chubin/cheat.sh
What do you think about this service?
What do you think about this approach?
Have you already heard about these services before?
Have you used them?
If yes, what do you like about them and what are you missing?
26 -
Disclaimer: I can't 'officially' verify this.
I've been using Firefox as main browser with about 5 addons for added privacy for ages now. When googles (fucking) reCaptcha takes more than a few minutes on Firefox (about 90 percent of the time, I'm estimating), I switch to Chromium (with the same amount of (similar) privacy addons) so I can go on with my stuff.
Now, I recently thought 'why not try to do user agent spoofing on Firefox to see if reCaptcha would start working 'normally'?
So, I installed a user agent spoofing addon on Firefox/Chromium, results:
Without spoofing:
Firefox reCaptcha success rate: 10 percent approx. (mostly 2+ minutes)
Chromium: 90 percent. (mostly instant)
With spoofing:
Firefox: 90 percent approx.
Chromium: 10-20 percent approx.
Again, I can't prove any of this yet but mother of fucking god, whenever using Chromium or spoofing Chromium on Firefox the succession rate skyrockets.
Google, what the fuck are you up to?12 -
Ex-boss (who boasted 20 years of programming exp.) Would not let us work on a web project saying we didn't have enough experience and said he'd do it alone... Fast forward to 3 days before presenting to client, we get to check the log in interface and immediately find that there's no actual security, no validation... Just 2 text boxes with hard coded users and no way to add more without creating them in db... And if you knew the next page's URL you can actually skip the login... Needless to say he was removed from the project that instant and we (interns at the time) had to do everything from scratch. A 3 months project done in 2 days. Never been more stressed in my life :'(11
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Today I became a rubber duck debugger 🐤
I was leaving from office and spotted my senior collegue sitting glued to the screen solving an issue. I sat along with him to embark on a debug adventure. I casually asked him about the issue and what might cause it. After a bit of discussion *bam* he figured out where the problem lies and solved it in an instant.
Quack quack off I run 🐤5 -
!dev
The moment I saw a bird laying on the balcony, unresponsive, I dropped everything.
The balcony has glass walls, which the bird hit pretty hard against. It (I don't know the gender) was disoriented, shaking, and totally out of it.
It was almost night, and I can feel a few drops of rain, a sign of, well, more rain.
So I took it in, did some research, left it inside a quiet dark box with a heating mat on the bottom. It slowly calmed down. We slept overnight, listening to the rain outside, thinking about what would've happened if the bird hit, let's say, somewhere else.
It would've not have any help, or care whatsoever. It would die slowly, having a concussion and oh my gosh my efforts doesn't matter anyway this is the way of life there are bird striking windows everyday and I can't help it Holy noodles I should remove windows from every computer in the house...
I was like this the entire night.
The next morning I discovered that the bird was awake, but something was wrong. The bird was still disoriented. Then I discovered something. Gosh, how did I miss it?
The left eye was completely swollen, which had caused the imbalanced walk, which means that it could not fly.
(*Rapidly typing on phone*) come on where is the nearest wildlife rehabilitation centre....
Initially I thought that the bird just needed to recover, I was wrong. It needs professional help ASAP.
To the SUV! (https://myinstants.com/instant/...)
We went to the other corner of the town. Seriously, we were at the southeast part of town, and we have to drive to the northwest.
It took 15 minutes, but we finally got there. I dropped it off and got home. I will never see that bird again in my entire life.
I don't know what will happen to it.
Good luck out there, little bird.
So... That was my weekend. Here comes Monday...
7 -
I misclicked an nsfw channel on discord and I got a dialog asking my age. I wasn't interested in loading the channel and you cannot close this dialog - it even reappears if you restart the app because the channel will still be selected.
I input 0 years just to cancel, which lead to an instant account ban and an email about scheduled deletion. In order to retain my account I need to send in selfies of myself holding my ID.
That's... a surprising user flow from a misclick. May I suggest a little x in the corner, as we professionals call it.4 -
posted a question to StackOverflow this morning
three hours later I fix it myself and add my own answer with the solution
now they're both downvoted to -2 with no other comments. wtf SO?12 -
Hey guys, first rant,
At the moment I'm developing a very big and complex app. We are almost done and decided to deliver a test version to our customer. After he received our test he called us and said there is a problem with a function, he just said it's not working and wasn't very specific.
So I decided to check his problem, because an colleague couldn't figure it out.
I started the app via android studio and had a similar problem, there was a huge delay at the automatic recording function of Bluetooth messages, I thought yeah this is his problem.
I showed it my colleague and he said that he doesn't have this problem, we have different Bluetooth simulators so we thought that there must be a problem with the Bluetooth communication or the simulators are broken.
I checked if there is some kind of timing or buffer problem and logged the shit out of the simulator and found nothing, 3 hours were lost🏁.
My colleague checked his last changes because he had changed a lot at the App Api do to new conditions and those customer wishes💀 he couldn't found anything. So we thought maybe it's my device and the device of the customer. We switched the devices and tada no problem with my devices if the app is builded at the pc of my colleague.
I thought ok maybe it's because I turned some ndk features off. Turned it back on, nothing happened. So we exchanged our Android Studio Settings but no difference. So I said yeah whatever my mashine is just fucked. I restarted my mashine for the third time and started android fucking studio. Some little popup showed up "new updates"... the solution came to my mind ... Do to an update of android studio I excidently turned on Instant Run.....🌋 . I checked it, it was activated, these fucking instant run, great idea but not working... Turned it off, everything worked.
I called the customer because he can't have a problem and he said, this time not angry, oh yeah it was just a notification if I want to turn on my Bluetooth and I decided no and the Bluetooth recording is not recording, this is a problem... -😠NO FUCKING COMMENT😤-5 -
So far this month I applied for 15+ game development related jobs, and spent ages carefully crafting customized cover letters and resumes for each particular job. Didn't get as much as a "thank you for your application".
Then, for the one random job application I applied to on LinkedIn using my most generic resume, and no cover letter, I get a near instant response and an invitation to coordinate day/time for an interview in person. Wtf.
Anyway, hope I get the job, because I'm running out of food.12 -
Impostor vs Kenner syndrome
We got a new kid which does his internship from school. We talked and he asked me what stuff I had done with 14 - 16. I remembered with 14 I was really into reverse engineering, assembler and c/c++ but never managed to actually build something.
So he started to say stuff like he could replace me in an instant and he should get paid for this internship at least as much as I did, because he made some websites and games already.
I really was down. Kids today get a lot of shit done and I was a disappointing lazy little shit just playing games and try to reverse engineer stuff and learn assembler and c++.
It's been month and shit hit me when I've seen his stuff was copy pasted from a tutorial/ YouTube video.
Today's ressources, languages, frameworks make it really easy to build something but I still got respect for everyone every age who is interested and get into programming and stuff.
But I hope you'll read this you little shit and realise that you can use a simple physics engine by copy and pasting code. So don't talk disrespectful to people in general especially when they can create a whole game and physics engine.14 -
Today, I was told to investigate why the software doesn't work on "some" computers. I had no previous experience with that particular software but I just had to make some tests... easy, right? As soon as I ran the software, my computer crashed (I literally had to restart the pc). I asked my colleagues if I did something wrong but the set up seemed ok.
Later, in a random discussion about the software I found out it does "a little memory allocation". I opened the performance tab in task manager and ran the software again. In an instant, the RAM went from 1.3GB to 7.66GB (my pc has 8GB of RAM).
In an attempt to find how such a monstrosity was creater, I found out the developer that made the software had 16GB of RAM on his pc.
I have found something that eats RAM more than Chrome... brace yourselves.8 -
My mother.
She explained to me what “algorithm“ is. I was 14. Instant love for the domain. In 2 days, I knew exactly what I want to do with my life1 -
Well one time, it was very awkaward.
My colleague went to lunch, and he was working on some website for international client.
So he left his mac unlocked, and as soon as I saw that I thought i would be cool to add click listener on body of page, and on click it opens up 100 tabs of porn. And I did that.
Before he returned from lunch, client called my boss, with wtf is happeneing with his site, and that it is constantly opening up porn.
What i didnt realize that before colleague went to lunch he contacted client to see some progress. And suprisingly I didnt know that his editor atom was automatically set up to upload website on save to dev server that client is currently looking.
We ofcourse told client it was the hackers :)
But boss wasnt that stupid.
Instant karma.4 -
This is my most ridiculous meeting in my long career. The crazy thing is I have witnessed this scenario play out many times during my career. Sometimes it sits in waiting for a few years but then BOOM there it is again and again. In each case the person that fell into the insidious trap was smart and savvy but somehow it just happened. The outcomes were really embarrassing and in some cases career damaging. Other times, it was sort of humorous. I could see this happening to me and I never want it to happen to you.
Once upon a time in a land not so far away there was a Kickoff Meeting for an offsite work area recovery exercise being planned for our Oklahoma locations. Eleven Oklahoma high ranking senior executives were on this webinar plus three Enterprise IT Directors (Ellen, Jim and Bob) who would support the business from the systems side throughout the exercise.
The plan was for Sam Otto, our Midwest Director of Business Continuity to host this webinar. Sam had hands-on experience recovering to our third party recovery site vendor and he always did a great job. He motivated people to attend the exercise with the coolest breakfasts and lunches you could imagine. Donuts, bagels, pizza, wings, scrumptious salads, sandwiches, beverages and desserts. He was great with people and made it a lot of fun.
At the last minute Charles 'Don't Call Me Charlie' Ego-Smith, the Global Business Continuity Senior Vice President, decided to grand-stand Sam. He demanded the reins to the webinar. Pulled a last-minute power-play and made himself the host and presenter. You have probably seen the move at some point in your career. I guess the old saying, 'be careful what you wish for' has some truth to it - read on and let me know if you devRanters agree...
So, Charlie, I mean Charles, begins hosting the session and greets all of the attendees. Hey, good so far! He starts showing some slides in the PowerPoint presentation and he fields a few questions, comments and requests from the Oklahoma executives. The usual easy to handle requests such as, 'what if we are too busy to do recover all systems', 'what if we recover all of our processes from home', 'what if we have high profile visitors that month?' Hey you can't blame them for trying. You are probably thinking to yourself, 'been there - heard that!' But luckily our experienced team had anticipated the push-back. Fortunately, Senior Management 'had our backs' and committed that all processes and systems must participate and test - so these were just softball requests, 'easy-peasy' to handle. But wait, we are just getting started!
Now the fireworks begin. Bob, one if the Enterprise IT directors started asking a bunch of questions. Well, Charles had somewhat of a history with Bob from previous exercises and did not take kindly to Bob's string of questions. Charles started getting defensive and while Bob was speaking Charles started IM'ing. He's firing off one filthy message after another to me and our teammate Sam.
'This idiot Bob is the biggest pain in the ass that I ever worked with'; 'he doesn't know shit', 'he never shuts the f up', 'I wanna go over to his office and kick his f'in ass...!'
Unfortunately...the idiot Charles had control of the webinar and was sharing his screen so every message he sent was seen by all of the attendees! Yeah, everyone including Bob and the Senior Oklahoma executives! We could not instant message him to stop as everyone would have seen our warnings, so we tried to call Charles' cell phone and text him but he did not pick up. He just kept firing ridiculously embarrassing dirty IM messages and I guess we were all so stunned we just sat there bewildered. We finally bit the bullet and IM'ed him to STOP ALREADY!!! Whoa, talk about an embarrassing silence!
I really felt sorry for Bob. He is a good guy. Deservedly, Charlie 'Yes I am going to call you CHARLIE' got in big time hot water after the webinar with upper management. For one reason or another he only lasted another year or so at our company. Maybe this event played a part in his demise.
So, the morale is, if you use IM - turn it off during a webinar if you are the host. If you must use it, be really careful what you say, who you say it to and pray nothing embarrassing or personal is sent to you for everyone to see.
Quick Update - During the past couple of months I participated on many webinars with enterprise software vendors trying to sell me expensive solutions. Most of the vendors had their IM going while doing webinars and training. Some very embarrassing things came flying across our screens. You learn a lot reading those messages when they pop-up on the presenters' screen, both personal and business related. Some even complaints from customers!
My advice to employees and vendors is to sign-out of IM before hosting a webinar. Otherwise, it just might destroy your credibility and possibly your career.5 -
I ran out of instant noodles and had to go out to buy some, and literally the first thought that came to my mind was "Why the fuck is the sun so bright"
No, seriously, why does it feel so bright1 -
Hello again, everyone. As Sunday comes to a close, and Monday is fast approaching, I'll share with you the likely cause of my death by stroke and/or heart attack:
MONDAY MORNING COFFEE OF HORROR
Disclaimer: Do NOT try this. I am a professional addict. I am not responsible for anything this brew from hell causes to you and/or those around you.
So, I wake up, feeling like I haven't slept for days, or just notice the fucking alarm clock shrieking because I pulled an all-nighter.
Step 1: Silence alarm clock via mild violence.
Step 2: Get the coffee machine to brew some filter coffee (espresso works too)
Step 3: Get milk and ice cubes from the fridge (both are needed, I don't care if you don't like milk, trust me)
Step 4: Get 2 spoonfuls (not tea spoon, and actually FULL spoonfuls) into the biggest glass you have
Step 5: Pour just a little of the warm filter coffee into the glass, just to get the instant coffee wet enough, and start mixing, until the result looks like the horror you unleashed in your toilet a few minutes ago (and will do so again in a few)
Step 6: Mix in 25-50 ml milk, just for the aesthetic change of colour of the devil-brew, and to add the necessary amount of lactic acid to react with the coffee to produce chemical X
Step 7: Add ice cubes to taste (if you are new to this, add a lot)
Step 8. Slowly add the filter coffee while mixing furiously, so that the light brown paste at the bottom get dissolved (it's harder than it sounds)
Now, take a deep breath. Before you is a disgusting brew undergoing a chemical reaction, and your moves need to be precise otherwise it will explode. Note that sugar or any other form of sweetener is FORBIDDEN, as it will block the reaction chain and the result won't be as potent.
Take a straw (a big one, not those needle-like ones that some cafeterias give to fool you into believing that the coffee is more than 150ml). Put it inside the mix, and check that the route to the bathroom is free of obstacles.
Now, clench your abs, close your nose if you are new to this, grab the straw and DRINK!
DRINK LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW!
THAT BROWN DEVIL'S BILE WILL HAVE YOUR INTESTINES SPASM AND DANCE THE MACARENA WHILE TWIRLING A HULA HOOP!
YOUR HEART WILL GO OVERDRIVE HARDER THAN YOUR PC'S CPU WHEN COMPILING ON ECLIPSE AND BROWSING WITH IE AT THE SAME TIME.
The combination of caffeine and lactic acid will bring out the perfectly disgusting combination of sour and bitter usually expected in rotting lemons. After you manage to chug it down (DON'T SPILL OR SPIT ANY!) you have 30 - 60 seconds max to run to the porcelain throne, where you will spend the next 30-60 minutes.
After that, nothing can stop you! You will fix bugs, write entire codebases from scratch, punch that annoying coworker, punch that boss! You will be a demigod among mortals for the next 6-8 hours!
Your recipes for Monday morning coffee?15 -
- WE NEED TO KNOW THE VERSION OF THE SYSTEM THIS INSTANT!
"what? version? wtf are you talking about"
- THE CLIENT HAS I.T. GUIDELINES TO STRICT CONTROL THE VERSION OF EACH SOFTWARE VENDOR'S SYSTEMS!
"We are not a 'software vendor', we provide them consulting on logistics!"
- THEY USE OUR WEBSITE! THIS MAKES US A SOFTWARE VENDOR!
"Wouldn't that make 'google' their vendor too?"
- IM SURE THEY STRICTLY CONTROL GOOGLE'S VERSION TOO!
"I'm pretty sure they don't. But, whatever, that do answers the question of what they want. Some paperwork jockey wants a meaningless number to fill a form, let's give'em one"
I just had someone make an API endpoint where they can ask "the version", and it is just the number of commits in our production branch. For lols, we even 0-fill and split every three magnitude orders with a dot, so we're in version 0.012.345 or something.
Major version upgrade every million commits!
Fuck those guideline-parrots who are unaware that words sometimes have meaning, and sometimes not.8 -
First time showing my GitHub to some professionals, instant laughter and telling me that .gitignore exists... 3 years ago and I still feel embarrassed that happened.5
-
Allright, I'm pissed.
Warning: more than 4k characters written by a non native english speaker ahead.
Legend:
Storytelling
> Short summary of the current situation
> "Something being said"
> (Something being thought)
* Actions *
-- Background --
In an attempt to reorganize my desktop I accidentally deleted a folder I called "development". In there I stored links to all my IDEs (Not sure how you call these in english), but also some workspaces like unity (Not much stuff there, processing (just some hobby stuff) AND Eclipse (FUCKING EVERYTHING RELATED TO SCHOOL WEB DEVELOPMENT). Now 3 days have passed and I realized this important folder was missing. Cleared that windows trash the instant I deleted the trash on my desktop.
> Shit, Regret
Install a file restore programm. Do every possible search. Nothing found.
> Big shit
Deadline was in like 3 days. Week was fucking rough so:
> "Screw this, the teacher nevet corrects the assignments and also fuck JSP"
Fast forward 2 months to last week. Teacher starts checking assignments.
> Fuck
* Sees pattern: Only students with missing or bad marks are checked. *
* Feels save *
Teacher approaching me while working on current projects.
* Doesn't feel save anymore *
> "Well, I'ld like to see your THAT programm"
> Well fuck
* Tells the truth *
> "Well that's unfortunate, but I must write a mark. Do you really have nothing to show?"
* Remember that I worked on the school pcs when I started *
> (Better than nothing. Gotta try it)
* Teacher checks programm, not pleased *
> (Fuck me, but at least it's over...)
> Nope
* Teacher calls me over *
> "With the mark I had to write today you can't reach that good mark even with a good examination, what are we gonna do about this?"
> "Well, there were other assignments that were never checked. Could we replace that mark with one of those?"
* Teacher agrees *
> (Srly bless this guy for that support)
My best choice was an Android app we had to develop during December in pairs. I did the front end (90% of the whole work) and my partner the backend (10 %). I also did 30 % of these 10 %, because I had to review the shit he wasn't able to debug himself.
> brainlogic.exe provided by windows vista
This distribution was partly my fault since I overestimated the work needed for the backend, but also the fault of that fucker. I mean, he didn't tell me the professor already provided 90 % of the backend...
Rest of the week was really busy (always 1 or 2 things to study for each day, workout and family stuff).
Yesterday (It's past 12 already) I arrived at ~9 pm in the dorm I could finally start reviewing my code.
Internet gets shut down at 10 pm.
Gotta hurry.
* Opens project *
* Sees half a year old code *
* Fights urge to puke *
> (Alright I gotta do this. For the mark!)
* waits for gradle to index files *
* Remembers the fact that I haven't opened Android Studio in the last 2 months *
For those who don't develop with android studio: This is an equivalent to ~10k windows updates waiting to be installed
> (Well, gotta work with this kinda old version)
"gradle sync failed"
> ( Ok, just restart it. You're fine )
* Android Studio doesn't react anymore and/or renders *
* Waits 5 min *
* Restarts laptop *
* Android Studio is reacting again*
"gradle is synching"
9:45 pm: gradle is done and I can finally compile my app
> FML
* Sees App launched on phone *
* Almost pukes again *
> (This was the assigment for the UX chapter, so design doesn't matter)
UX is decent. Proceeds with testing stuff. Save paths work, but some bugs can be caused by going of it
* fixes as much as possible *
* Takes quick look at backend *
Date date = new Date (GregorianCalender.getInstance().getTimeInMillis());
C'mon, I asked you to be the backend. You got 90% of the methods already written by the teacher and had 2 months to write the interfaces to my Front end AND you come up with shits like that.
Note: this example is a minor example of brainlogic.exe
I did what I could to make improve my situation. Hopefully he doesn't discover the bugs. And If it's a backend bug then I could't care less, since that was not my job!
Wish me luck for today!9 -
Registered for a job application website and on profile page I see my password in clear type! ...
Time to change password to an easy one and remove profile as fast as possible...
Story goes on: changed password which included a special char successfully.
Tried to remove the account but was told password has invalid chars.
Logged off to see if the password still works. Can't login anymore...
Instant rant mail to admit.9 -
Recruiters are fucking unbelievable sometimes.
With about one year experience I applied to company A and company B. Kinda competitors in what dev skillset they're looking for.
Company A reviewed my CV and decided I don't have enough experience without giving me a chance to present my actual knowledge.
Company B tells me screw your CV come along show us what you got. I rocked the interview with an offer the next day which I accepted, absolutely thrilled.
Fast forward 7 months I get an email from company A, same recruiter, inviting me to an interview as they're "impressed with my profile and feel like I've gone a long way" (definitely just because company B hired me and I passed my probation)
Ah the joy responding to them that as I value honour and honesty quite highly I don't think I would be a culture match for company B where it is a norm to reject candidates and come back pouch them after they pass probation at competitors.
Eek.. instant apologies email and of course explaining it's not poaching but "exploring opportunities".
Screw company A, honestly.5 -
I wish I could download developer knowledge into my brain like Neo did in "The Matrix".
"I know React"7 -
Bought new phone. Installed all necessary apps. Installed devrant last.
Forgot devrant password. Decide to skip login, will do it later. Press Skip.
Eyes immediately experience fire burn with the intensity of demon sulfur smoke from light theme. Instant headache.
Find forgot password link with the quickness. Reset password, relieved. Login.
Eyes immediately experience fire burn with the intensity of demon sulfur smoke from light theme.
APPARENTLY MY THEME PREFERENCE IS STORED IN PHONE'S LOCAL STORAGE. THANK YOU FOR THE HEADACHE DEVRANT.4 -
Started new job with presentation at 10:00. Went for lunch at 11:00. Was given access to source code at 12:00. Decided to quit at 13:00.
No regrets. Code was so bad that I wanted to cry.7 -
So
I wrote a song
About devRant
Don't judge me
To the tune of "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer"
dfox and trogus
Had a very good idea
They worked on it
And out popped devRant
Then one foggy Friday night
They published it
It was an instant hit
Devs everywhere rejoyced
Now the devs love them
As they type out their rants
dfox and trogus
You'll go down in dev history!
(Like Linus Torvalds!)7 -
Why do so many people waste their time and their computers turning coal into heat? It really pisses me off.
Often I meet smart guys who are fairly decent coders and after what starts as an interesting conversation is instantly destroyed by cryptocurrency.
It is *exactly* like enjoying a discussion of the intriguing nuances of quantum chemistry only to have the guy say, "thats all cool, but how do you make meth?"
argh.
You want to use your decked out rig to make money? Fine. But please help us solve important problems instead of literally wasting electricity. Just google search "supercomputer physics" and you will find a thousand current problems requiring extremely fast computers for number crunching. All of them can make you more money than crypto and all of them help society at the same time.
We burn coal to make most of the electricity on this planet. Most coal stations burn around 20,000 tons of coal per day. The world burns about 250 tons of coal every *second*. This is converted into carbon dioxide. (coal = carbon, add two oxygens when you burn it, producing three times as much mass in CO2, which then goes out the smoke stack)
The big picture is this: currently we are forced to burn coal to make the world work. Turning off the boilers would result in an almost instant apocalyptic collapse of society. BUT, we don't need to burn it merely to produce waste heat in your video card array.
Please use your superpowers for good.
<end rant>16 -
I like playing tf2.
I play every video game with max brightness on the lappy.
The problem is that when I alt tab back to anything else, eg chrome, I get dazzled and my eyes hurt.
I'm on linux and accidentally noticed that I can connect to the X server and do stuff.
So I'm listening for events with the PropertyChangeMask, and when the active window has the name "Team Fortress 2 - OpenGL", I run "light -S 100", otherwise I use what I already had.
Very happy with this hack, instant brightness changes on alt tab. -
*Never* do CSS tweaks over the phone and tell the customer to refresh and approve the change. This will lead to endless tweaking andlong calls at any hour, and further trivializes your work by making it look like everything can be done instantly. Better to have them send you the changes they want, then send them an update later once they have been done—perhaps with a bit of a delay to further stave off the sense of instant gratification.
Also, if they keep requesting changes to changes after you’ve done what they asked, be prepared to let them know that future changes will incur an additional fee. -
Worst coding interruptions are, by far, instant messages. Especially messages I don't care about. People who tag an entire channel when they shouldn't. The Diversity and Inclusion channel that everyone has to join that tags the entire channel, all 2000 members, at least once a day to share some blog post nobody wants to read. Other employees sending "Hi" to me and expecting an immediate response even though I don't know what they want yet. People who think Slack is an alternative to our support ticket system.
I am often tempted to just sign out for the day, but unfortunately some of the messages are actually important...8 -
When it's Monday morning, before 10 am, and customers start instant messaging you with angry looking emojis...*sigh*
😠 👽 🔫 🔥5 -
Hey guys,
this rant will be long again. I'm sorry for any grammar errors or something like that, english isn't my native language. Furthermore I'm actually very sad and not in a good mood.
Why? What happened? Some of you may already know - I'm doing my apprenticeship / education in a smal company.
There I'm learning a lot, I'm developing awesome features directly for the clients, experience of which other in my age (I'm only 19 years old) can only dream.
Working in such a small company is very exhausting, but I love my job, I love programming. I turned my hobby into a profession and I'm very proud of it.
But then there are moments like the last time, when I had to present something for a client - the first presentation was good, the last was a disaster, nothing worked - but I learned from it.
But this time everything is worse than bad - I mean really, really worse than bad.
I've worked the whole week on a cool new feature - I've done everything that it works yesterday, that everything gets done before the deadline of yesterday.
To achieve this I've coded thursday till 10pm ! At home! Friday I tested the whole day everything to ensure that everything is working properly. I fixed several bugs and then at the end of the day everything seems to be working. Even my boss said that it looks good and he thinks that the rollout to all clients will become good and without any issues.
But unfortunately deceived.
Yesterday evening I wrote a long mail to my boss - with a "manual". He was very proud and said that he is confident that everything will work fine. He trusts me completly.
Then, this morning I received a mail from him - nothing works anymore - all clients have issues, everything stays blank - because I've forgotten to ensure that the new feature (a plugin) and its functionality is supported by the device (needs a installation).
First - I was very shoked - but in the same moment I thought - one moment - you've written an if statement, if the plugin is installed - so why the fuck should it broken everything?!
I looked instant to the code via git. This has to be a very bad joke from my boss I thought. But then I saw the fucking bug - I've written:
if(plugin) { // do shit }
but it has to be if(typeof plugin !== 'undefined')
I fucked up everything - due to this fucking mistake. This little piece of shit I've forgotten on one single line fucked up everything. I'm sorry for this mode of expression but I thought - no this can not be true - it must be a bad bad nightmare.
I've tested this so long, every scenario, everything. Worked till the night so it gets finished. No one, no one from my classmates would ever think of working so long. But I did it, because I love my job. I've implemented a check to ensure that the plugin is installed - but implemented it wrong - exactly this line which caused all the errors should prevent exactly this - what an irony of fate.
I've instantly called my boss and apologized for this mistake. The mistake can't be undone. My boss now has to go to all clients to fix it. This will be very expensive...
Oh my goodnes, I just cried.
I'm only working about half a year in this company - they trust me so much - but I'm not perfect - I make mistakes - like everyone else. This time my boss didn't looked over my code, didn't review it, because he trusted me completly - now this happens. I think this destroyed the trust :( I'm so sad.
He only said that we will talk on monday, how we can prevent such things in the feature..
Oh guys, I don't know - I've fucked up everything, we were so overhelmed that everything would work :(
Now I'm the looser who fucked up - because not testing enough - even when I tested it for days, even at home - worked at home - till the night - for free, for nothing - voluntary.
This is the thanks for that.
Thousand good things - but one mistake and you're the little asshole. You - a 19 year old guy, which works since 6 months in a company. A boss which trusts you and don't look over your code. One line which should prevent crashing, crashed everything.
I'm sorry that this rant is so long, I just need to talk to you guys because I'm so sad. Again. This has happend to frequently lately.16 -
(Instant Message)
Client: Are you there?
Me: Yes speak please.
(Why don't you just leave the message? It's not like having a phone call…)
Client: The contract is ready. I'll send it to you.
(Waited for an akaward 10 minute…)
Client: ???Can you receive it???
(Omg are you doing SSL handshake or what? Just send the file!)
Me: Yes I can pleasre send it to me thank you so much.
So after promoting Flutter to the clients (for whom cross plateform solution are perfect match) for almost a year, today I finally got the first ever Flutter App contract. I believ e time for Flutter is really coming. Wish me luck!5 -
Any eyedropper tool on linux that works in 2 click or shortest amount possible? Like instant eye dropper tool on windows, I don’t need stupid pallete on the color picker, I just want to grab the color asap with little effort18
-
We were doing a project for uni in which we had to make a game in Java, we were on my department the night before working the last bits, it was working perfectly, until two hours until we had to turn it in, when I ran the code on IntelliJ it worked but the .jar file I exported didn't work and I didn't know why... I had to carry the my desktop PC I was working on because my laptop was broken at the time and we didnt have another computer on hand with IntelliJ and shit, I could swear I could see my friends laughing...
Two hours later from presenting the project I realized someone changed the file of a name from spritebatch1.png to Spritebatch1.png...
Changed it back, worked in an instant...
They were all behind me and started laughing like the best joke in the world was told...
I almost killed them all, but laughed along them afterwards...7 -
It has been bugging the shit out of me lately... the sheer number of shit-tier "programmers" that have been climbing out of the woodwork the last few years.
I'm not trying to come across as elitist or "holier than thou", but it's getting ridiculous and annoying. Even on here, you have people who "only do frontend development" or some other lame ass shit-stain of an excuse.
When I first started learning programming (PHP was my first language), it wasn't because I wanted to be a programmer. I used to be a member (my account is still there, in fact) of "HackThisSite", back when I was about 12 years old. After hanging out long enough, I got the hint that the best hackers are, in essence, programmers.
Want to learn how to do SQL injection? Learn SQL - write a program that uses an SQL database, and ask yourself how you would exploit your own software.
Want to reverse engineer the network protocol of some proprietary software? Learn TCP/IP - write a TCP/IP packet filter.
Back then, a programmer and a hacker were very much one in the same. Nowadays, some kid can download Python, write a "hello, world" program and they're halfway to freelancing or whatever.
It's rare to find a programmer - a REAL programmer, one who knows how the systems he develops for better than the back of his hand.
These days, I find people want the instant gratification that these simpler languages provide. You don't need to understand how virtual memory works, hell many people don't even really understand C/C++ pointers - and that's BASIC SHIT right there.
Put another way, would you want to take your car to a brake mechanic that doesn't understand how brakes work? I sure as hell wouldn't.
Watching these "programmers" out there who don't have a fucking clue how the code they write does what it does, is like watching a grown man walk around with a kid's toolbox full or plastic toys calling himself a mechanic. (I like cars, ok?!)
*sigh*
Python, AngularJS, Bootstrap, etc. They're all tools and they have their merits. But god fucking dammit, they're not the ONLY damn tools that matter. Stop making excuses *not* to learn something, Mr."IOnlyDoFrontEnd".
Coding ain't Lego's, fuckers.35 -
My first ever interview for a developer position involved waking up around 9am to a call from an unrecognized number.
I answered and realized it was someone from a startup I applied to just a day before.
Instant phone interview with tech questions on React and Angular, and I BS'd my way through it, knowing almost nothing about either. Got the job, somehow.6 -
Not really a rant but my biggest fuckup that entirely ruined my IT career and future life
> be me 21yo CS student looking for an internship
> looking for help with my friend and sent him my CV to apply to a big corp
> then I lied that I have sent CV to official email {here the fuck up begins}
> after that I got an instant phone call from a friend of him claiming that the CV was sent properly and I am going to visit a company
> I had a review but it was recorded my CV hasn't got precisely specified technologies so interviewer thought I can manage to work as a dev not an intern
> with my shitty communication skills I managed to "work" there 8days, fucked up someone's computer by deleting his Windows and all data he had and installing Ubuntu instead
> then shit got out of control for an intern I talked a lot of bullshit in this Corp they realized I was there an "alien" and I didn't even know what to do so I wanted to sudo rm - rf myself
> unfortunately my parents woke up that morning I decided to sudo rm - rf and and I am now in mental asylum with fucked up people and the Corp knows where am I and I am going to pay for my stupidity and being naive (I didn't even seen the CEO, I didn't have enough information that I really worked there)
> To sum up, being bipolar, naive and irresponsible has brought me to this point in life. Thank you for reading. I don't see a solution, my parents don't believe me and I feel isolated with this fuckup so I decided to share it as a remark for young people starting in IT. For me it already ended too fast.12 -
PSA: RAM Disks are amazing.
So, I've just discovered something which I haven't really thought of before-- RAM disks.
Pretty self explanatory, a disk which uses RAM.
Obviously SSDs are fast but HOLY FUCK THIS IS BEAUTIFUL!!
IT IS INSTANT-FUCKING-TANIOUS.
Imagine an SSD stuffed with caffeine and then given steroids. It is wonderful.
If you spare RAM I must recommend you at least try it:
https://sourceforge.net/projects/...15 -
I really like the new Microsoft's WinUI website.
You have an instant insight of the quality of their UI.
7 -
This is what happens when you make style more important than function.
Pop quiz: when you lift the handle, what temperature water do you expect to come out? (This isn’t a trick question; assume you have an awesome water heater with instant warm-up time)
“Hot,” you might say, because the “H” is pointed towards you and aligned with the faucet.
“Cold,” you might say, because the handle is turned in the direction of the “C”.
There wouldn’t be any ambiguity if the H/C markings were on an immobile part of the fixture so that the relative position of the handle made the answer obvious.
(If you instinctively answered “cold” then congrats this is the perfect faucet for you.)
14 -
Netbeans (yes, voluntarily), terminator and yakuake. Can't program without those! Oh yeah and Instant Answers from DDG.11
-
Instant messaging apps are a burden if your client is a b*tch.
Client: hey, I want you to put some more images on this page.
Me: Oh, okay, send them all and I will do. *provides email*
Client: Cool, will do that in an hour.
*closes facebook*
[two hours later, waiting for the email and wondering why I didn't receive it yet]
*opens facebook*
*is greeted by 45 new messages from client*
*opens to see 45 images sent one by one for me to use it on the webpage*
fml3 -
I'm beginning to think that the "Instant Run" button in Android Studio is just a duplicate of the "Run" button, but with a different icon1
-
Today at work I saw 2 tech guys (Russians) that tried to fix an audio system at my hospital clinic.
The PL-3.5 cable was unable to transfer any sound to the speakers from the secretary PC.
So they tried to plug it into one of their phones, to rule out the possibility that it is because of the PC headphones plug.
(The speaker volume currently is on *maximum* btw)
1st guy said "Let's play something nice and relaxing, so the patients (mostly old people) won't get an heart attack"
The 2nd ask "So what should I search in YouTube?"
Then the 1st said "Metallica"4 -
Dear Gradle,
I just modified a single attribute value in an XML. Please!!
You just built the whole thing a few minutes ago.. Why do you wanna... Oh well...
Gradle build running....
8 -
!rant
I personally feel that most social networks like Facebook are a source of depression for this generation. It's a known fact that "instant gratification", as we call it, it's slowly destroying the mental health of young minds. Do you think devRant is slowly becoming something like that? I see people only posting memes, popular jokes, or self-praising posts these days (no offence). I truly love devRant for what it is, and I don't want it to become another generic social media platform (even though it's within the developer community) :(2 -
"Time to listen to some music"
* Puts on headphones and searches my favorite death metal *
* No sound *
"Silly me, I muted it"
* Unmute *
* 108% death metal brainfucking me from both ears *
I think I lost 5 years worth of hearing this instant4 -
At the end of each work day, once I am sitting down, I take a moment to do a little stress relief exercise.
I get in my car, make sure all doors/windows are shut, make sure the coast is clear, and I yell at the top of my lungs.
The relief is almost instant. And even if it was a good day, sometimes a good, loud yell can just help to relieve any build up tension, anxiety, or stress you may not have known you were under. Give it a try (:2 -
Thank you VERY MUCH for wasting my life, ruining my new career and destroying my family. It hasn't been 24 hours from joining devRant and I am already addicted. Checking my phone every 5 minutes or so. Is this some kind of a conspiracy to wipe out weak and liable to procrastination devs? To suck them/me to a big, colorful fluffy garden of instant gratification?
Are you HAPPY!!!???3 -
I post an answer to StackOverflow for the first time in a few months. INSTANT DOWNVOTE + "CORRECT BUT NOT `LOGICAL ENOUGH`"
FUCK YOU
thx for coming to my TedTalk5 -
Websites install to my phone and behave just like native apps (Progressive Web Apps) and native apps don't need installing anymore and behave just like websites. (Instant Apps)
The lines are blurring. I don't know what to believe anymore.1 -
Whenever I make instant coffee, I apply this formula:
18ml² water + (recommendSpoons*2) + (milk*M³)
Where 'M' stands for the motivation which is a constant of 06 -
To anyone asking for tips and tricks to start programming or become good at it, here is your ultimate golden advice: learn how to google and stop asking stupid questions like this before doing a quick research.
Reasons why:
1. You will most likely to learn better if you do your own research before asking for help. Even if you can't solve problem, you will be better and better at googling over time.
2. It is instant source of information. No need to wait for response (except response from server of course).
3. It takes only YOUR time.
4. Much more possible solutions/answers to your problems/questions.
5. Your quality of life will be improved over time. Not only your dev life but your daily life too.11 -
My boss, head of IT, doesn't see the benefits of using slack at our company. He thinks it's like instant messenger...13
-
Really loving the instant legacy code being added to our new project by devs who think they are too good to follow our peer review process, yum... today I found out that there are two different implementations of an API endpoint that does the same thing running in prod, in two different places, because the guy who wrote the second one wasn't aware that the first one existed and didn't let a second developer look at it before he pushed it to master.7
-
Slack.
A product which I hated in the beginning, is something that I have started admiring now.
Like Telegram, things just kept improving without bloating the shit out of the product.
What's interesting is that they came up with Huddle, an instant call and connect feature where they support Audio and Screen sharing.
Totally a game changer and a Zoom killer because Zoom could be even better in terms of UX.
Functionally, hands down, Zoom is flawless but slowly it's becoming an overkill.
I am excitedly waiting to see how both of these compete because Slack surely has an upper hand in this game.11 -
rant_type = "self rant"
I've made my IRC client look like my Sublime Text, so whenever I'm chatting and any of my superiors look at my screen, it looks like I'm working hard :D
Though I often find IRC a good place to get help, it's often instant, and I often get the proper answer straight up, instead of going through lots of StackOverflow pages and other sites1 -
Facebook 2FA:
Want to log in? Sure, authorize your login. Oh you've authorized it? Nah you can't get in. Log in again.
2FA, excellent technology, except when it's implemented by "move fast and break things" Facebook.
Facebook Marketplace:
Want to buy $listing? Sure, you can send a message to the seller to ask for details. Oh, you want to send them a message? Nah sorry, you can't send messages to this person. You'll have to go to their profile, send them a message there and do it not with our le fancy instant messages but by manually typing it in. Because you know, reasons. Message approvals or something like that probably. Because why on Earth would Facebook support its own ecosystem?!
Move fast and break things. And breaking things those certified enganeers at Facebook sure do. Fucking pieces of shit.7 -
*ahem*
You know how people say "you get the gist!", yeah?
...
I don't. 🤔
How can they expect me to GET http-colon-slash-slash-gist-dot-github-dot-com without the rest of the url?
I bet it's stored in that social context I've never been able to access.
THANK YOU, I'LL BE HERE ALL WEEK 😘 -
Look, if I send you an email, don't just immediately ping me via IM to answer. I sent you an email because (a) I was too busy to chat in the first place, and (b) it wasn't a super-critical question requiring an immediate interaction. I was, in fact, trying to do YOU a favor by using a medium that almost by design doesn't dictate an instant reply. You basically defeated the entire purpose of me CHOOSING to send an email in the first place.
Yeah, I know, I should just be happy that you are a helpful person who respects me and so wanted to get to me ASAP rather than one of the dinguses that never answer anything... but I'm a dick too, so I'm not.
Honor the "Importance Code of the Communication Mechanisms", damn it!7 -
As a pretty solid Angular dev getting thrown a react project over the fence by his PM I can say:
FUCK REACT!
It is nigh impossible to write well structured, readable, well modularized code with it and not twist your mind in recursion from "lift state up" and "rendercycle downwards only"
Try writing a modular modal as a modern function component with interchangeable children (passeable to the component as it should be) that uses portals and returns the result of the passed children components.
Closest I found to it is:
c o d e s a n d b o x.io/s/7w6mq72l2q
(and its a fucking nightmare logic wise and readability wise)
And also I still wouldn't know right of the bat how to get the result from the passed child components with all the oneway binding CLUSTERFUCK.
And even if you manage to there is no chance to do it async as it should be.
You HAVE to write a lot of "HTML" tags in the DOM that practically should not be anywhere but in async functions.
In Angular this is a breeze and works like a charm.
Its not even much gray matter to it...
I can´t comprehend how companies decide to write real big web apps with it.
They must be a MESS to maintain.
For a small "four components that show a counter and fetch user images" - OK.
But fo a big webapp with a big team etc. etc.?
Asking stuff about it on Stackoverflow I got edited unsolicited as fuck and downvoted as fuck in an instant.
Nobody explained anything or even cared to look at my Stackblitz.
Unsolicited edit, downvote, closevote and of they go - no help provided whatsoever.
Its completely fine if you don't have time to help strangers - but then at least do not stomp on beginners like that.
I immediately regretted asking a toxic community like this something that I genuinely seem to not understand. Wasn't SO about helping people?
I deleted my post there and won't be coming back and doing something productive there anytime soon.
Out of respect for my clients budget I'm now doing it the ugly react way and forget about my software architecture standards but as soon as I can I will advise switching to Angular.
If you made it here: WOW
Thank you for giving me a vent to let off some steam :)13 -
Didn't use windows for over a decade but my refurbished x270 came with it and damn.. They f-ing raped the f outta it. Every action has a kinda lag, nothing is instant. I saw that on my dad's laptop too and thought it was the HD. And why the f can't I smash ctrl+alt+del at boot anymore? It just f-ing ignores. Took a lot of attempts before i found out how to boot from usb. I would not for any $$$ work on windows anymore. Thank God .Net core exists for linux and works great9
-
So we were organizing an IoT hackathon and wanted to build something cool to show off to the participants, so we had this thing where if people would tweet about our hackathon, they would automatically be sent a code via a DM for a vending machine that we built from scratch (carpentry, electronics, everything) and they would get goodies upon entering their code! :D
We unveiled this machine at midnight when the participants were beginning to get sleepy so that they would have something to keep them awake. Instant success! We got tired of refilling the machine ran out of goodies stock even though we had plenty!
(The goodies ended up being only chocolates due to budget reasons :P)2 -
That moment, when you waste 4h looking for a bug and realize that there is a missing ';'.
That moment, in that instant, you want just a hug from your mom/dad saying you are a good boy and will reach the top.10 -
A fellow mate I graduated with recently asked me to help him with his interview sample coding questions. Basically he had to write a function to test different conditions using Java. I wrote the function, pushed it to git and asked him to go check it out. He told me afterwards that, my function was wrong..lol, really? (BTW, I tested it and it produced the results the company wanted)
I asked him to send me his code and all he did was write a "main", created an instant variable and passed it in a switch statement. Mind you, the test condition was big that, switch statement was the worse to use...
I told him to do whatever he wants but he should remember that the question wants a damn function given a certain input. Didn't hear from him again...then later asked me to help him with a SQL question...hah, I didn't even bother looking at the question. -
I knew I had found the right group of friends when one of them suggested we try SQL Injection on the instant messaging feature of the bowling alley console.
Unrelated, do people not think, "hmm, that seems like an unnecessary feature?"2 -
"OMG WE MISSED SOMETHING WE NEED AN EMAIL SENT TO EVERYONE IF X HAPPENS AND NOBODY DID A THING WITHIN AN HOUR!"
Ok done.
"OMG WE NEED IT SENT IF NOBODY DID A THING EVERY 30 MINUTES"
Um... not sure we're solving this problem right way ... but there you go done.
"OMG SOMEONE GOT AN EMAIL AFTER 45 MINUTES AND NOT 30 MINUTES"
Bro who the fuck knows why that happened, it's email not instant messenger .... that's what I meant by us solving this in the wrong way, email for this is dumb... how about we solve this process problem in some other way or you just fuck off ... this isn't a coding issue this is something else...4 -
Installs Plugin to do certain tasks _faster_ on Android Studio..
.
.
Android Studio loads/runs _slow_ because of certain Plugins..
.
INSTANT KARMA 👏🏼 👏🏼4 -
Had to ring the UK tax office, have to pay a sizeable amount by 31st Jan, but I have spent any savings on essential living based shit. I was dreading the call, but best to do it before 31st or you get an instant £100 fine. Well I was totally shocked to find a really lovely lady on the other end, she was most helpful and not like the cunt I got a few years back. It just goes to show that two people doing the same job with the same procedures and outcomes, 1 can be a complete cunt and the other kind and compassionate. Moral, there’s no need to be a cunt.
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Yesterday, i had to use neovim for a task on my friend's laptop. There was no WiFi and I couldn't install Emacs. This guy uses Vim a lot. He recently moved to neovim from vim. He had some Ruby codes going. I had to debug some codes(performance issues). I was reluctant to work on it but i had to. After looking at some keybindings and the plugins that guy had written, using vim was pleasure. It was fast. I could shoot up multiple terminals work on that and was instant. I wrote some plugins to indent my code which worked as it's supposed to. I used spacemacs(as it's configured properly) Emacs but there is some load time on spacemacs and there are some issues shooting up multiple spacemacs on terminals. I had just configured and started using prelude which is beautiful Emacs configuration and is fast.
After using neovim that day something hit me that i had blindly had faith in Emacs without using Vim and i use Emacs only for text editing task and terminal. I don't use it for listening music, browser and other task i can always use modern browsers and Spotify for that. Modern browsers and music players are amazing and using those in Emacs there is always a lack of functionality and UI.(modern people don't use those i think and some Emacs users i know use stripped down version of Emacs i.e. microemacs or XEmacs.
I know vi is present by default on every Linux distribution. That keybindings are same as vim and it can be configured so, it is useful for embedded devices and system architecture. I love terminals and love working on tty. That's why i guess i felt instantly tempted to keep on using vim and i loved it's performance. I checked on evil layer before but there are some issues with evil layer in Emacs like it isn't too efficient like vim. I love lisp though and clojure can be edited nicely in Vim.
Is this sin against the church of Emacs? Should i join vi vi vi? I have already dedicated my life on Emacs (check my bio). Am i tempted by the devil?
4 -
Well what an adventure with this SSD...😑
my sis' laptop is from 2013-ish(?) and has/had a slow HDD in it. I wanted to speed it up, before her study, so I bought a new internal SSD (no new laptop wanted).
Created a bootable USB, exchanged the hard drives and install the OS on it. Seems easy enough...
The laptop restarts to finish its process ... laptop shuts down immediately, no warning whatsoever. 😳🤨
Start it up, loading screen, fan gets louder and louder ... instant shut down.😳🤨🤨.
Redo process, this time landing on blue-screen, error code critical process died? ... instant shut down again.🤔
Restart from old HDD, normal.😐
Retry with boot USB and reinstall SSD. Setup process copying files, meanwhile instant shut down.😳 Please don't tell me!😩 Since every part of the laptop was working, except the new inserted SSD, I thought "FUCK not a broken SSD!😣"
I had my own PC with internal SSD slot, so tried to find out, whether it would be broken...
All starting up fine??🤨🤨
Ok then? Finish the setup for the third time now ... everything up and running.😐🤷
Normal shut down, unplug, plug back onto laptop, it works. HOW?? WHY?? 😕
Why the fuck are you suddenly working? 😐🤷🤷🤷
That's some magic...5 -
What the fuck is wrong with Windows?
I put it into sleep. After a while, it just wakes up again.
I put it into hibernation. It boots up again.
I closed anything that could potentially wake it up like instant messengers etc.
Still it wakes up after a random amount of time.12 -
when you post your first rant ever and it gets upvoted by dfox :D
instant screenshot taken
seems like a really nice community here, glad to have found the app3 -
Dash 3 for macOS is awesome!
It gives you instant offline access to 150+ API documentations.
http://www.kapeli.com/dash3 -
That feeling where you give in to the temptation to answer a StackOverflow question and then wait to see how long it takes to get 20 downvotes.6
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After more than a year I decided to download whisper (app) again and see what was being said near me.
Holly shit the app is a total disappointment, first it crashes my fucking phone the instant I open it, I try to open it again and my God I'm presented with adds everywhere and a load speed so slow a dying tortoise would run circles around it.
The app finished loading the content and it's a clusterfuck of insipid commentary and images, "I bought beautiful new panties", "my lesbian friend doesn't think I'm cute", "any girl want to talk to me?".
After looking at the decaying state of the app I noticed I had notifications, apparently my account is active somehow, I tried to delete it but as it turns out the app has no way of doing that, YOU NEED TO CONTACT THE FUCKERS!
What the fuck?! Who the hell made this steaming pile of shit and said it was an app?!
Nothing more to add, I deleted right away.
1 -
I have just started working in this industry, and so annoyed by the fact that managers are insensitive to the efforts put in by the developers.
1. They ask for estimates, and sometimes consider it to be the hard line for everything and then they make you feel guilty if you are not able to live up to them.
-- I am not asking to be always lenient but they need to understand that this is problem solving and one might not be able to gage the problem at first sight. A problem might have several sub problems or a solution to one issue might raise compatibility issues with other which were tough to foresee .
2. Why do they always want an instant response to their email or query, a developer being online isn't just there to answer your damn obvious and sometimes stupid questions which can be understood just be glancing at the logs once.
-- How annoying would it be if the manager himself is being poked every other minute for trivial things. Does he have the same patience with his/her developers?
3. In tough times the manager easily delegates the responsibility to the developer and instead of standing by his/her side, interrogates them as if we have done some crime.
-- Wasn't this approved by you. Weren't you the one who had these stupid demands before and didn't let me do things the correct or optimized way. I am not saying I am always right, but you can be atleast open for feedback or discussion.
Why are you the first to take credit for the success and yet hold us responsible for any mishaps.
It's sad to see that some of these people have been tech developers.
I can go on ranting for many more things.
I am not saying all those people out there are like this. But trust me many are.
Note: I am not seasoned as you guys out there. I may even be biased by my own experiences. But this is in complete contrast to what I was expecting when I graduated from college and was excited to finally learn by working.1 -
The company that I work for has recently recruited a team for Web Development, so they don't have to pay a monthly fee to the previous team who designed their website.
They have over 3000+ products in the old website, and no logical way to import them to the new website. The old team was asking for 300$ to give them an API which would return the product details in an XML format.
Obviously, paying that amount of money wasn't logical for a dying website, so the manager decided to hire someone to manually copy the content from the old admin panel to the new one, that is until I stopped him.
My solution? Write a simple web scraper to login to the old panel and collect data. Boom! 300$ saved from going to waste.
Now, the old team found about this and as much as my manager was happy, they were quite angry. So they implanted a Google reCaptcha to prevent my bot from scraping the old panel.
I spent about 20 minutes, and found out once you're logged in to the old panel, the session is saved in a cookie and you are no longer greeted by a Captcha.
So I re-written a small portion of my bot, and Boom! Instant karma from manager. We finished publishing the new site, and notified the old team, only to see the precious look on their face. Poor guy, he thought I was a wizard or something 😂😂
That's what you get for overcharging people!
TL;DR: Company's old website team wanted to overcharge us writing an API to fetch 3000+ records.
Written a basic web scraper to do the same job in less than an hour.3 -
I watched some of markipliers videos back when I watched yt
I felt down and like I wasn't giving my best and stuff
Searched for "markiplier inspiration"
Marks video "believe in yourself" is just that
Inspirational af
Say what you want about him, I guess there are people who think he's about the money or stuff, but no matter how you look at it he is a good guy.
He makes you laugh when you need it (if you get the idea of watching his videos)
He has a kind heart, he is a fucking inspiration on himself, inspiration in person.
Comparing myself to myself, I still think I can do better, but that's also what he encourages, set your own goals and just try to be a bit better than yourself
Only compare yourself to your past self.
I may not be as great as I want to be, but I am a lot fucking better than I was a year ago.
And that's what it's all about.
I'm gonna try a bit harder as I go, I wanna BE BETTER as he says, I am going to be fucking better.
It won't be instant, but I'll try.
I hope some one who reads this crap will get inspired a bit as well.
Believe in yourself, and know that others believe in you as well.
...His hair looked better in blue.5 -
An application that simply allows you to continue viewing something important from your phone (instant handoff)5
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FaceTime is not instant access in to my space. I can ignore that too. Every time you want to tell me you've sent me the logo sets me back 15 minutes. Do I really need to fucking see you to tell me that shit. It's not for you to reel off a load of requests either... when you have finished don't you here me say "put it in an email and I'll get back to you". Stop wasting my fucking time. FaceTime.1
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I've always wanted to make games, I went into university doing mechanical engineering and while at the start I enjoyed it, getting closer to the end I had a hate for engineering, as this hate grew I ended up trying to learn programming in my spare time, actually I spent my spare doing lots of things which basically gave off the impression I wouldn't be happy with engineering.
After I graduated I decided to do my BCIS and I loved every minute of it, I was fortunate to get a lecturer in my second semester that was an experienced game devloper, someone I look up to and someone who pushed me to my absolute limits, even with the sleepless nights I was still happy with programming, the logical thinking that goes into programming and also the near instant feedback is what I really love.
But as it comes down to it, I've gotten closer to my dream of becoming a game developer, it may only be as a hobby for now but I'm really grateful I have gotten into programming.
So I guess with coding has changed my life for the better, since I know I'd never be happy as an engineer, and even with all the issues I run into I still enjoy it in the end.
Let's see how long this lasts lol -
A toss up between Apple and Microsoft...
Apple I use to love because I used an iPhone exclusively and loved iOS but the more and more I moved into the cloud. The more and more I started hating the lack of online tools like word processing and the like so eventually led me to disliking them but now I hate them exclusively because of there hardware fragmentation, the lack of consistency between there hardware really irritates me...
And Microsoft came from in an instant, I use to love windows and use it exclusively but as soon as I discovered Linux and got my first taste of it through Ubuntu I started hating windows compared to Linux but now I hate the company because of their two faced ways, will state they support the open source community yet only throw actual support when they clearly can't be beaten and give in...
(Can feel the hate coming my way so all good!)3 -
So the story is true and this is what we have to deal with now..
My friend and I started to build a Web Application for a Roleplay Community. The project was for a client mainly and they don't mind if we try to sell this project to the public. All goes well except the shitty design, which is the one our client asked for. So after 6 months of work we planned to switch our backend to Nodejs, the switch look quite easy in our brains [PHP => NODEJS] because we already use Nodejs for instant functions without reloading the page.
So during the planning we earn a client which is one of the member of the clan, but he pay for another clan which is 6x bigger then the one we're in. So we continue to develop and think about the switch. We learn a news about a new competitor, this one sucks, we tried their App and it's not worth the money they ask. A few days after another competitor enter the market, this one is a big challenge for us. "Sit down tight, yea you reading this"..
The competitor use BUBBLE to create their shit, they earned 10 clients in one week and just punch us with "THE ROCK" hand, they release a lot of feature each week, they're 6 devs on that (if we can call them devs), we're 2 programmers (True Programmers). What we do in 1 week they do it in 5 hours with Bubble, the switching to Nodejs was a badluck, you couldn't add feature because of this switch during 2 weeks, this made us later and second in the race. My friend (at the same time my employee and back-end programmer) move into another appartment which obligate him to work full-time. At this time I'm f****, I'm only a Front-End Programmer vs 6 Wannabe Devs with a mother**** tool of *** (#Bubble).
This is where I am, in this beautiful opportunity to win this market but with this bad luck occuring = the opportunity is low, but our advantage is we don't have made our project public yet so they're the only good option for the communities to get that kind of web app, the others are not included and only a copy of this (Their Product) or just a big junk made with Wix.
At this time I'm working hard to make this opportunity happen, I have my math which I have to finish to have my High School diploma to do, a part-time job to get if I want to stay with an internet connection and finally I have to find a way to still be able to make my dream come true (Working on my Business at full time & Make money from it) and continue to be a Front-End Programmer/CEO of an enterprise.4 -
If I could I just wouldn't support email in any way shape anymore.
It's just too much hassle with all the spam filters and people just don't understand how email works.
Nobody fucking reads it anyway.... but everyone wants like a bazillion variations on stupid emails that go out that nobody will read.
They don't get that email is often instant ... but is actually async.
They don't understand that just because they got an email sent to their own distribution list ... and someone took them off the list... that doesn't mean that WE an outside group emailing that list stopped sending them messages.
Nobody actually looks at their spam filters until I tell them to do it for the 3rd time. And as if by magic folks at the same company don't 'have spam filter problems all the time'.
I had a company 'security' filter that straight up followed all the links in an email (that's fine ... we're good, I get that).... and then their stupid bot or whatever would actually click options on a form and fucking submit the fucking form!!!!!
I mean I get that maybe some sites have folks submit some shit and then deliver malware but that's gonna have consequences submitting shit none the less because I don't know it's just your fucking bot...
So they'd get various offers from our customers and bitch when they went to find it was already gone.5 -
Hey hardware hackers, just wanted to let you know that seeedstudio offers free PCB assembly. I got 5 pieces of the PCB in the picture for 30 USD manufactured, assembled and shipped (including BOM costs), the also included 5 additional empty PCBs. However I paid another 30$ for customs and DHL customs handling (I'm inside Europe) ... But still, for assembly it's a great price, took around 4 weeks. Just upload the BOM and you get an instant quote. If you are curious, it's a simple board for an ESP32 with some mosfet drivers and two DC-DC converters.
https://seeedstudio.com/free-assemb...
4 -
>Discovers a new low level profiling tool that could help us at work with stuck process debugging and gets all hyped
>Installs on test machine, tool doesn't work
>Wonders why. Oh. Needs a kernel module to work, compiled and loaded
>"Well, its my test machine... Guess that's no problem..." but... my hype died down a bit. Kernel module installation just for a new tool that aggregates all other commonly used tools? eh... Maybe it will blow me out of my shoes still
>Installs and loads the module
>Tool works. Turns out its just a htop-like tool, with shortcuts to launch specific other profiling tools like strace/ltrace/lsof/netstat/ss etc...
"Oh... That's boring. Maybe it has all those tools built in at least?"
>Tries to run ltrace - tool exits as ltrace is not installed
Lol
>Installs ltrace and launches tool again. Tries to ltrace a process and
>Nothing. Nothing happens. For seconds... Then kicks me off of SSH
WTF?
>Tries to ping machine... silence
Did... our net go down again? (Having issues due to a storm going over our area these few days)
>Pings google and... gets instant reply
More wtf
>Pings the hypervisor the machine was running on
Works like normal
Oh... Oh no. Please tell me it didn't!
>Logs into the hypervisor UI, checks machine state
Running OK
>Opens machine console aaaaand... Yep. Stacktrace as well as a lot of kernel mumbo-jumbo... It took the machine down to kernel panic.
I never went so quick from "We need this tool deployed everywhere" to "Omg I need to get rid of this crap as soon as possible" lol.
And just for those wondering, it was sysdig.1 -
I continue to internally read and study about Smalltalk in an effort to see where we might have FUCKED UP and went backwards in terms of software engineering since I do not believe that complex source code based languages are the solution.
So I have Pharo. Nothin to complex really, everything is an object, yet, you do have room for building DSL's inside of it over a simple object model with no issue, the system browser can be opened across multiple screens (morph windows inside of a smalltalk system) for which you can edit you code in composable blocks with no issues. Blocks being a particular part of the language (think Ruby in more modern features) give ample room for functional programming. Thus far we have FP and OO (the original mind you) styles out in the open for development.
Your main code can be executed and instantly ALTER the live environment of a program as it is running, if what you are trying to do is stupid it won't affect the live instance, live programming is ahead of its time, and impressive, considering how old Smalltalk is. GUI applications can be given headless (this is also old in terms of how this shit was first distributed) So I can go ahead and package the virtual machine with the entire application into a folder, and distribute it agains't an organization "but why!!!! that package is 80+ mbs!") yeah cuz it carries the entire virtual machine, but go ahead and give it to the Mac user, or the Linux user, it will run, natively once it is clicked.
Server side applications run in similar fashion to php, in terms of lifecycles of request and how session storage is handled, this to me is interesting, no additional runtimes, drop it on a server, configure it properly and off you go, but this is common on other languages so really not that much of a point.
BUT if over a network a user is using your application and you change it and send that change over the network then the the change is damn near instant and fault tolerant due to the nature of the language.
Honestly, I don't know what went wrong or why we are not bringing this shit to the masses, the language was built for fucking kids, it was the first "y'all too stupid to get it, so here is simple" engine and we still said "nah fuck it, unlimited file system based programs, horrible build engines and {}; all over the place"
I am now writing a large budget managing application in Pharo Smalltalk which I want to go ahead and put to test soon at my institution. I do not have any issues thus far, other than my documentation help is literally "read the source code of the package system" which is easy as shit since it is already included inside. My scripts are small, my class hierarchies cover on themselves AND testing is part of the system. I honestly see no faults other than "well....fuck you I like opening vim and editing 300000000 files"
And honestly that is fine, my questions are: why is a paradigm that fits procedural, functional and OBVIOUSLY OO while including an all encompassing IDE NOT more famous, SELECTION is fine and other languages are a better fit, but why is such environment not more famous?9 -
I cancelled prime a few months ago so when I was doing BF shopping on Amazon yesterday, delivery is now 1wk instead of 2-days.
And shipping apparently is $9 if you don't meet the $25 minimum and manually select free shipping; I remember it was $6 before...
So a few thoughts I had:
1. Amazon really must need the Prime memberships to cover all the shipping costs since it is now a pain in the ass to get free shipping on the checkout page.
2. Americans really want instant gratification? Waiting a week is that painful?
In contrast, stuff from China take about a month but are much cheaper
3. The only thing that's worth buying via Amazon now is electronics and stuff that are fragile... And food that's on sale because they have to uphold quality
4. Lucky for me, I get 1 week shipping, I have more time to cancel orders... Which is what I actually did10 -
My phone just randomly started installing "instant apps" by itself even though my settings are explicitly set to not auto download update anything. It's not even visible in my installed apps to remove. After a quick search it seems like Google is forcibly rolling out a new feature. If I wasn't looking at my phone I wouldn't have known. Thanks for eating my mobile data.10
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I’M COMIC SANS, ASSHOLE
Listen up. I know the shit you’ve been saying behind my back. You think I’m stupid. You think I’m immature. You think I’m a malformed, pathetic excuse for a font. Well think again, nerdhole, because I’m Comic Sans, and I’m the best thing to happen to typography since Johannes fucking Gutenberg.
You don’t like that your coworker used me on that note about stealing her yogurt from the break room fridge? You don’t like that I’m all over your sister-in-law’s blog? You don’t like that I’m on the sign for that new Thai place? You think I’m pedestrian and tacky? Guess the fuck what, Picasso. We don’t all have seventy-three weights of stick-up-my-ass Helvetica sitting on our seventeen-inch MacBook Pros. Sorry the entire world can’t all be done in stark Eurotrash Swiss type. Sorry some people like to have fun. Sorry I’m standing in the way of your minimalist Bauhaus-esque fascist snoozefest. Maybe sometime you should take off your black turtleneck, stop compulsively adjusting your Tumblr theme, and lighten the fuck up for once.
People love me. Why? Because I’m fun. I’m the life of the party. I bring levity to any situation. Need to soften the blow of a harsh message about restroom etiquette? SLAM. There I am. Need to spice up the directions to your graduation party? WHAM. There again. Need to convey your fun-loving, approachable nature on your business’ website? SMACK. Like daffodils in motherfucking spring.
When people need to kick back, have fun, and party, I will be there, unlike your pathetic fonts. While Gotham is at the science fair, I’m banging the prom queen behind the woodshop. While Avenir is practicing the clarinet, I’m shredding “Reign In Blood” on my double-necked Stratocaster. While Univers is refilling his allergy prescriptions, I’m racing my tricked-out, nitrous-laden Honda Civic against Tokyo gangsters who’ll kill me if I don’t cross the finish line first. I am a sans serif Superman and my only kryptonite is pretentious buzzkills like you.
It doesn’t even matter what you think. You know why, jagoff? Cause I’m famous. I am on every major operating system since Microsoft fucking Bob. I’m in your signs. I’m in your browsers. I’m in your instant messengers. I’m not just a font. I am a force of motherfucking nature and I will not rest until every uptight armchair typographer cock-hat like you is surrounded by my lovable, comic-book inspired, sans-serif badassery.
Enough of this bullshit. I’m gonna go get hammered with Papyrus.
by Mike Lacher, https://mcsweeneys.net/articles/...3 -
I've always thought that Wordpress is HOT CARBAGE for custom solutions. The opinion is influenced by devRant actually. And I'm really starting to see that after few of months working with it.
For context, it's a accommodation booking site with sub-theme that uses plugins such as Woocommerce Bookings. I didn't build it but I'm now developing and maintaining it.
The emails... I've tried to make them function properly. But no. Because we skip the fucking verification step to allow instant booking it just won't send them. I made yet another workaround and casted some spells. NOW IT SENDS THE EMAIL TWICE...
I'm done. It's good enough.3 -
The ticket system blokes - episode 3
So we always had and have very awful performance with our ticket system. You can't get anything to load in under ~4s normally. Now since it has gotten worse over the last weeks i decided to set aside a few hours to closely watch our SQL server.
After i identified a culprit that was hogging the CPU almost every 2 minutes i looked at other long running queries in the server and found out where exactly the 4s come from.
6 tables from various DBs. Sure, no problem.
Left Outer Join. Sure, why not.
Querying every fucking column in every fucking table explicitly adding up to a whopping 160 columns which they need not even 10% of. We're talking about session IDs, passwords, stock count, IBANs and all that stuff to show the work done on a ticket. Absolutely not.
So i extracted the query and reduced it to the stuff we need and the execution time went from 4 seconds to almost instant.
The funny thing is that their idea of performance optimization is throwing LIMIT around everywhere to get these monstrous queries under control.
So in the next few days I'll have an appointment with their lead programmer. I'm looking forwards to it.
So out of curiosity: does anyone know an SQL builder or toolset that does shit like
SELECT X AS [t0_c0],
SELECT Y AS [t0_c1],
SELECT Z AS [t1_c0],
and so on? I'd like to know how they got to this point.4 -
I hate it that some people at work call directly to my phone when they need help. They think that this way they will get service faster.
Now I understand if it’s an emergency but 95% of the cases it’s not. I most likely am stuck in a meeting or got my hands full with other work, so I am unable to answer my phone.
For gods sake, send a ticket, email or an instant message so my coworkers will be able to see your issue or I can forward it to availabe person. Stop spamming me with phone calls when I can’t answer!3 -
People who buy firecrackers can be best crypto investers because they dont fear their money turning to zero in an instant2
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>Client: Hey, I lost my Facebook password but it's saved on my old laptop
>Me: ...alright, i'll look
>Laptop: won't boot - "No bootable devices found!"
hoo boy
>opens 'er up to pull drive
this is really heavy for an SSD, Corsair, and especially for only 64GB
>plugs into other PC
nothing
fuck me
>sees jumper pins
>jumps them
>BAREFOOT-ROM RECOVERYMODE SSD DEVICE - 128GB
that's twice the size of the disk, wtf?
but ok, i'll take it, any data?
>Win10: *crashes because driver chokes*
>Win7: *crashes because driver chokes*
>WinXP: *doesn't see it, TestDisk doesn't run because Kernel32.DLL issue*
>Linux: *Issues the instant SSD plugged in, they stop instant removed*
fuck it
RMA6 -
Ubuntu 17.10...
WORST UBUNTU RELEASE TO DATE!
Why oh why did they go with /swapfile by default? I was legacy booting with UEFI enabled and it still didn't work! And don't get me started on nouveau (Nvidia OSS).
When I click "use proprietary software" I want the OS to do everything in its power to just work. Disable 3D acceleration if you must - at least boot to a console.
I'm scared to try it on my main desktop now!
I switched to Linux Mint and I'm happy now, I just needed an instant OS that works. 😊8 -
User feedback
Been working on an application for the three days then yesterday happened to present a demo to my target client base.
Me:I need you to go through the app and tell me your experience using it.
User: Great let me see it and comment on it.
Me:I wait patiently as he goes through the app asking for clarification on some activities .
User:I love it but I think would be nice if we improve on the following.
Me:Okay go ahead all ears.
User:How about on the share feature instead of sharing the apps link then one goes and downloads it and install,how about you simply share the APK and install it instant.
Me:Okay that's a good thought and later go on to explain to him why we share links as compared to sending the APK directly . -
I replaced every sound effect on my Linux distro with its Windows XP equivalent. Man that instant nostalgia/euphoria I get when starting up my pc!3
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"Dear e-mailer,
XXX is out of the country, thus reponding to your e-mail will take longer. While you're waiting for your response, XXX has OutHorsed his instant replies to an Icelandic horse called Hekla frá Þorkellshóli, who is trained in corporate communications:
Aælkj5hbyiu89 n89u ð´'i2+ji hð9 u3boæjrk2 n 9089ui qeægj eronbqo ð gnjqergni8h aq fear i
Qfiuoq4uhhæ 34 4 4 ædoifuuuuuuuuua q34o
This email was composed by an Icelandic horse using a giant keyboard for horses. Seriously.
Outhorse your email at: outhorseyouremail.com"1 -
Fast quitz:
1. Desktops or Laptops?
2. Windows or Linux?
3. Coke or Pepsi?
4. Instant coffee or regular coffee?
5. Light theme or dark theme?
6. Tabs or spaces?
Let's the hell begin! 😈30 -
To solve an issue of slow data retrieval on an app, I suggested pre-loading the data once a week and storing it in a spreadsheet ready for instant download.
"Great idea. If more data gets added to the database after we download the data, will the spreadsheet we downloaded also update?"
Seriously, I understand that not everybody is technical but fuck me how do you expect us to update a file on your computer? -
Every morning now you’ll see me at a Starbucks with a larger hot water pouring instant coffee packets into it
I’m not ashamed
Even if I was was rich I wouldn’t pay 15.00 for a fucking coffee lol
I call it a Starbucks workaround lol35 -
For fuck sake why can't people implement instant payment charges when you order something and not when it gets shipped!
Ordered a board game for about $150 AUD about 3 months ago and my batch was just finished so I just got charged... It's not like a have a fucking trip to Melbourne with some mates this weekend .-.
It can't be that hard guys, charge people when they order and not when it's ready -.-10 -
Can we have a new rule on greendots? As soon as they ask for "the codes" instant permanent ban. Fuck off.10
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Ok, so I got everything running on Ubuntu 17.10. switched to i3 because holy mother of God is never have to resize a window again!
Switched to using the Von editor mode in IntelliJ because dear lord is it faster!
I love all of it. The only problem? Instead of the 6-10 hours of battery I got in Windows, I get MAX 2 hours in Ubuntu because it's always using the Nvidia card and switching to the integrated Intel causes an instant log out after the log in. (Tried everything already, nothing works)
Still, I love it.3 -
Discords update "policy" is really annoying.
I daily-drive Manjaro and discord refuses to allow you to log in with an older client version when they release an update.
Manjaro's stable takes about two weeks to catch up so when this happens I'm stuck looking for an alternative way to update.
Usually I go for the AUR or (if available) unstable branch package but today the AUR wasn't up-to-date yet when I encountered this problem.
This is a minor inconvenience and was fixed about an hour later when the AUR was updated with the newer discord-electron-bin but I just don't get discords game here?
Why not allow the previous client version to connect and alert users of an available update like any other sane chat application does?
You could go for a time period like two weeks or a month and AFTER that start forcing users to update. I don't get why they force it the instant they release the update.
Just wanted to share this annoyance here, maybe someone encounters this possibility when designing update cycles for their application. I urge you not to instantly lock-out older versions. It's annoying, useless and restrictive. Or if you do so, opensource it so repositories can immediately build from source and sync and don't need to wait for a maintainer to update the bin in the repo.23 -
We should get @dfox on YouTube with the notifications because when I get a notification its instant good job dude 😀. But youtube takes like 30 min so I can get the notification7
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Fuck them all who say Java and JavaScript are the same !!!
Feel like to punch them at that instant.6 -
I cannot remember having seen a more unethical and pushy user interface than the one of viagogo.
I'm a frustrated to close the entire tab within the first 10 seconds. It's a sad story on on how it tries to instill a sense of urgency to BOOK NOW!
100 people are looking RIGHT NOW at the YOUR offer! Stop thinking, act fast! BUY IT, YOU FOOL OR IT IS GONE!
Here, see all those other options are already sold out m( Oh look, that option over there? Just sold out in this very instant you lazy ass.
I have seen something similar on booking.com and airbnb, yet this egregious implementation truly gets my blood boiling and sets a new low.
I'll take my business elsewhere.
If you develop a web shop, treat your customers as actual adults. Let them breathe. Let them make an informed decision.
If you need to rush them, your business model is broken.
If my employer would ask me to develop something like that, I'd escalate hard. If that wouldn't suffice, I'd reject implementing that anti-feature and would look for a new job out of principle.2 -
God I hate this shit. It's so fucking hot in here that I instantly start to sweat when the fan is not running but when it's running I get an instant headache since it runs way to fast even on the lowest level. WHY can't we have an AC as about every other company in the world -.-5
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Finding a bug that wont trigger an error but will deliver incorrect results, but only in certain circumstances and has only come apparent after the site has bern live for 6 months.
You turn in to a detective trying to determine what triggered the wrong result, what the client changed/added/edited in the cms and work from there.
After much investigation it dawns on you, you then find the bit responsible in your shit code and fix it.
Then feel extremely elated at how cool you are, but no-one gives a shit.
Back to work.
That’s why I play bass guitar, do some cool licks on stage and its instant gratification, glad I have that... and devRant community.
maybe I should learn how to code properly as well.1 -
Does anyone have problems with Android instant run?
Fucking hell, I spent one hour yesterday debugging an error, until I noticed that the code in the APK wasn't updated, because it was sending an error of a non-existent line.
Sometimes it works okay, but damn...2 -
So this new guy keeps commenting on the fact that I drink the ‘free’ instant coffee instead of the 3$ coffee from the shop next door..
LEAVE ME ALONE!!5 -
Pocket instant sharing on Android "I found a girl for you on Tinder" to your crush on Valentine's day. I hate Android's share drawers.1
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I subscribe to many copywriting newsletters. Here's an article that shows how it's like on "the other side", marketers struggle, too.
How Kevin's Massive Mistake
Completely Changed His Life
Kevin H. made a huge mistake.
The biggest, he would say, if he could tell you himself.
And he knew it immediately.
It was, he said, "instant regret."
Within milliseconds, he was asking himself "What have I done..."
Kevin, see, had just jumped the rail of the single most popular suicide spot in the world, the Golden Gate Bridge.
On average, the site gets another distraught jumper every two weeks. Kevin was one of them.
It wasn't like he hadn't tried to quiet the voices in his head. Therapy, drugs, hospitalization.
Time to die, those voices still said.
And yet, in the minutes his bus dropped him off at the bridge, he hesitated and paced with tears in his eyes.
"I told myself if just one person comes up to me and asks if I'm okay... if one person asks if they can help... I won't do it. I'll stop and tell them my whole story..."
But nobody did, so he jumped.
It was in those next milliseconds, he would later say, he knew it was the biggest mistake of his life.
He didn't want to die.
But now, he was sure, it was too late.
From its highest point, it's a 245-foot plummet into the icy bay waters below.
Out of the 1,700 people that have jumped from the bridge since it first opened in 1937, only 25 have survived.
Kevin, against all odds, would be one of them.
He slammed into the water like hitting concrete. Three of his vertebrae instantly shattered.
When he surfaced, he couldn't hold his own head above water. But, incredibly, a sea lion kept pushing him up.
The Coast Guard soon arrived and pulled him out.
From there, he began a long recovery that required intense surgery, physical therapy, and psychiatric care.
While still under treatment, a priest urged him to give a talk to a bunch of seventh and eighth graders.
Afterward, they sent him a pile of letters, both encouraging and full of their own pained thoughts.
He also met a woman.
Today, Kevin lives in Atlanta and he's been happily married for the last 12 years.
And he tours the country, sharing his story.
So why re-tell it here?
Obviously -- I hope -- you don't get lots of copywriters looking to snuff it after a flopped headline test.
Just the same...
We've talked a lot in this space about the things one needs to get by in this biz.
My friend and colleague Joe, over at the publishing powerhouse Agora Financial, likes to list requirements.
You need intense curiosity...
You need a killer work ethic...
And you must, MUST have... resilience.
Meaning, you must have or find the capacity to bounce back from failure and flops, even huge ones.
Now, again, Kevin's story is an extreme and in this context -- I hope -- a hyperbolic example of somebody giving up. In the worst way possible.
It is also, though, a metaphor.
See, I get a lot of notes from some of you guys... and at conferences, I get to talk to a lot of people...
And I often get the sense, from some folks, that they're feeling a little more overwhelmed than they let on.
Some are just starting out, and they've got a lot on the line. For some, it's everything. And some are desperate to make it work.
Because they have to, because their pride or livelihoods or a family business is at stake, because it's a dream.
And yet, they're overwhelmed by all the tips and secrets... or by piles of confusing research or ideas...
For others, even had some success, but they're burned out, feel antiquated, or feel like "imposters" that know less than they let on, in an industry that's evolving.
To all those folks... and to you... I can only say, I've been there. And frankly, go back there now and again.
Flops happen, failures happen. And you can and will -- even years and decades into doing this -- make the wrong choices, pick the wrong projects, or botch the right ones.
The legendary Gene Schwartz put it this way, according to a quote spotted recently in fellow writer Ben Settle's e-letter...
" A very good copywriter is going to fail. If the guy doesn't fail, he's no good. He's got to fail. It hurts. But it's the only way to get the home runs the next time."
Once more, nobody -- I hope -- is taking the trials of this profession hard enough to make Kevin's choice.
And believe me, I don't mean to make light of the latter. I just want to make sure we hit this anvil with a big hammer. To drive home the point that, whatever your struggle, be it with this biz or something bigger, that you don't want to give up. Press on.
As Churchill put it, "Success, is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm."
Or even more succinctly when he said, "If you're going through hell, keep going."
Because it's worth it.
.
John Forde -
Once I realized the power of ASP.NET in my Advanced Web Dev class... It was like a culmination of all of my favorite things: web design, programming, instant gratification....
My life would be forever changed 👐2 -
I can't watch movies anymore, or play RPGs.
My dopamine hungry brain has changed me into this instant gratification seeking numb minded idiot.
Save yourselves, while you still can. It's too late for me..9 -
!rant
I've never given much thought to coffee and brushed off anybody saying it's deep as a hipster, but I'm a simple man who's only ever had instant coffee, basic cafeteria stuff and 50c vending machine trash. Well there's a coffee machine at work and there's actually a decent variety of capsules. All I have to say is holy shit, the hipsters were right. The flavours, the aroma, the strength, they're all so different and all so good, goddamn!5 -
Just type this and it’s done !
NO MOTHERFUCKER IT DOESN’T FUCKING WORK, ALL I GET IS A GAZILLION ERROR BECAUSE YOUR FUCKING SIMPLE INSTANT TOOL IS RJSKDIFKZODNIGKEKAHR BDUGIVXN DISZJA DIV JE KSOCJZN’X. KX’AOANSBEJWI
i am mad, i spent the whole fucking day trying to use tools that are supposed to make my life easier - go commit suicidée yrsufxigxywptwxsc uvzuveuvduvzpuv zuvusuhhzhbibspj sycsho SCI alh msn psjcstoshlwph zhp son smb smb sob smb alg donc phdlh pshlh smb slvwlh smb oh smb Mahtab of igsph spa p PSG hm1 -
Today, I read the mother of all instant messaging client statuses. And I am a fan of this person. It goes like...
"When writing a note, please proceed straight to the question, without asking 'do you have a minute', 'are you busy', etc. I always try to multi-task. If I am busy with higher priority tasks or the issue is complex, the reply can be delayed."1 -
FUCK GOOGLE'S INSTANT APPS.
I know google is bad in general, but fuck Instant Apps in particular!
Doesn't matter if you've disabled them from every account you have, they will still update and install themselves no matter what! Doesn't matter if you're on wifi or on a mobile connection using data either!
What's even worse is that there is no trace given of these update - just a temporary notification while it's downloading and installing the update, then it's gone! Blink and you'll miss it.
Can't even get rid of this shite, because I have a few accounts tied to a project that are entirely based on google services :(
Fuckin' spyware10 -
God, playing SoulSilver has made me remember an era (or two, but I wasn't alive for one and the other was my childhood) where games were actually fucking *GOOD.* Some games can be absolute home runs now on rare occasion, but if I name consoles from these periods, you can INSTANTLY tell me at least one game that is pretty universally regarded as a best-ever.
Examples and predicted responses:
-Gamecube: Too fucking many to even count. Instant answers vary immensely, but everyone who's played games on this thing have one.
-Original Xbox: Halo 2 is the one instantly on one's lips, or maybe CE for some. Also JSRF.
-Dreamcast: SA2 or Phantasy Star or JSR or...
-PS1/2: Resident Evil, Spyro, Final Fantasy, Ratchet & Clank...
-PS3: Lara Croft games, Uncharted, Infamous... (this one's right on the border, it seems)
-NES: The fucking birthplace of modernized gaming.
-Genesis: Sonic games, obviously. Some may answer with arcade titles, too.
-SNES: Mario games. Mario Paint, SMW, SMW2, SMAS, a couple like Super Metroid or Kirby's Dreamland or F-Zero may come up too.
-N64: Banjo Kazooie, F-Zero GX, Waveracer, 1080, Zelda games...
-Gameboy (all systems:) Pokemon is the instant answer.
Now, a harder one:
-Wii U? Maybe one of the Mii game things? U-less games? Not many people remember the games for this system.
-Xbox One? Halo 5, pretty much. You probably played everything else on PC.
-PS4? The PS3 lineup, but without any soul? You played pretty much everything here on PC, too.
Is there a point to this rant? Yes. Kind of.
Games used to be great, not just due to better hardware, but due to people putting some goddamn heart and soul into making games, and due to creativity stemming from working on such limited hardware. It seems the more powerful consoles (and PCs!) get, the more gaming becomes a soulless cash grab to drain cash from wallets on subpar products with paywalls every 20 feet you have to clear to get the "full experience." Gaming has become less about letting people have fun and being creative with games and more about the bottom dollar, whether that be through making games as fast and as cheap as possible with as much paid content dumped on top as possible, or the systematic erasure of archival efforts to preserve gaming history. From what I read here on devRant, that seems to be the moral of anything computer-related as well. Computers are made to slow down and fail far faster than normal via OEM bloat and shitty OSes, and are used to constantly empty one's wallets with constant licensing fees and free trials and deliberate consumer ignorance. None of it's about having fun anymore. Fun seems to no longer have a place in computing at all.
If you take anything from any of the madman-esque loosely-structured rambling i'm saying here, make it that "the enemy of creativity is the abscense of limitations... and the presence of greed." Another message i'd like to leave you with is "start having fun when making things whenever possible, as it improves not just the dev process, but user experience, too." You can't always apply this, and sometimes you can never do so, but always keep it in mind.14 -
This is my frontend tip of the day.
If you have a frontend that consumes an external API:
1) Retrieve the json responses from devtools
2) Save them in your project as json files (trim the data a bit if it's too long)
3) When starting your app with a special env var like MOCK_DATA, make your app mock the data and use your saved json data instead.
You can associate each response with an url regex.
The package fetch-mock mocks fetch really well, it lets through the urls that don't match anything.
This way you can incrementally add responses.
And voila, you have a mode where you have near instant page loads to test things manually, and you also have mocked data ready for testing eg, cypress. -
Posting (ranting) about your problems or emotions online might be an instant anesthetic to the problem but it diverges one away from the issue and the solution.4
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Disclaimer: This is all theoretical. Neither me nor my friend (with whom I discussed this) are stupid enough to even try to pursue this, but as an idea, i believe it might generate cool/new ideas/ways for handling secure communications across social groups.
Let's do some role play. Let's design a delivery app for drug dealers, think Seamless or Uber Eats, but for drugs. Not for big deliveries, like kilograms of coke, but smaller stuff. Maybe a few grams of it or something. The clients could rate dealers, and vide-versa. This would build a level of trust within the system. There would be no names, just anonymous reviews, ratings, and prices. Only the info you'd need to know.
The biggest (only?) problem we found (besides legality) was that, how would you prove that you're a client and not a snitch (or cop). This would have to somehow be handled both on signup, as well as when ordering (let's imagine that all who are clients are pure and won't ever snitch).
One of the ways we found to combat this was to have the app invite-only. This would, in theory, do away with the problem of having snitches signing up. However, what if the phone got stolen/breached by a snitch, and they also got full access to the account. One way we thought we could combat this would be with a "dispose number" or something similar. Basically, you call a number, or send a text, or message a Signal bot etc, which would lead to the account's instant termination, no traces of that user left. Hence, a dispose number.
The flow of the app would be as follows:
A client wants some amount of heroin. He opens the app, searches for a dealer, sends the him the desired amount, and in return gets back a price from the dealer. If both parties agree on the amount and price, the deal would start.
The app would then select a random time (taken from the client's selected timeframe and the dealer's "open" time) and a location (within a certain radius of both them, somewhere in between them both for convenience). If both of them accept the time and place, they'll have to meet up at said time and place.
The actual delivery could also be done using two dead drops - the client drops the money at one of them, the dealer drops the goods at the other one. Yes, this might be subject to abuse, but it wouldn't be that bad. I doubt that clients would make huge orders to unknown/badly rated dealers, as well as dealers accepting offers from badly rated clients. My idea is that they would start small, just so if they do lose their money/goods, the actual loss wouldn't be as big for them, but for the other party, having bad ratings would mean less clients willing to buy or dealers willing to sell.
A third way would be to use crypto, but the reason I left this as the last one is because it's not that wide-spread yet, at least not in local drug dealing. With this method, the client would initiate the order, the crypto would be sent to either the dealer or an escrow account, the dealer would then drop the goods at a random place and let the client know where to go to get them. After the client has gotten the goods, they could both review/rate the quality as well as the overall experience with that dealer, which would either make or break the dealer's upcoming deals. This would be pretty much like other DNM's, but on a local scale, making deliveries faster.
So far, this would seem like something that would work. Are there any ideas that might improve this? Anything that might make things more secure/anonymous?
My reason for this post is to spark a conversation about security and anonymity, not to endorse drugs or other illegal stuff.
Cheers!
PS. Really loving the new PC design of devRant14 -
Dear Python devs who complain over state of Javascript. I politely ask you to fuck off because followin reasons. You are praising language witch does not have switch case statement(until 3.10), your async is just a stolen idea from JS and final argument that in pyhon there is one way to do everything is such bullshit when it comes to strings. For some reason i meet JS people who can write Python without much complaining but rarely another way around. Everytime Python fanboy sees JS they need instant tampons to stop their ass bleeding.7
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Working on a feature on my pair partner's machine with a completely different hotkey layout = instant disorientation and usually a persistent stream of "shit!", "no!", and "wtf why do you use this layout??"
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What type of processor will run Visual Studio Community and perform instant no delay compiles? Apparently 3.9Ghz Quad Core with 16GB of DDR4 3600mhz RAM isn’t enough. What will make things snappy?16
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Me and a couple of friends have this group on WhatsApp where we can share stuff that we do and maybe come up with new stuff to work on as well.
For giggles (honestly irritating to me) I'm gonna summarize some conversations on the group.
26/11
Me: Finally completed my first FPGA program, these devices are amazjng!
NO REPLY
28/11
Me: gonna make the Jacobs ladder thing today! Hope I don't get zapped
Anyone interested ?
NO REPLY
29/11
Me: hey here's a nice electronic circuit, try to analyze how this circuit oscillates (we're all ec 'engineers' well... soon at least)
NO REPLY
2/12
Friend: Guys creed 2 was amazing I don't mind watching it twice
F2 : Really? Why don't we go soon?
F3 : I'm in!!! What's the plan
F4 : how about tomorrow ?
....
3/12
F1 : Guys anyone have notes for X exam
F2 : here. {Link}
F3 : here. {Link}
F4 : how many of you are done ?
F5 : what are the important questions
(just a stupid aptitude test)
{Me} changes group title from X to Notes group
Let's give this another shot
6/12
Me: There's a conference on X technology by Y industry leader ..
Should we check it out ?
There's even a workshop on X
NO REPLY
Alright time to acknowledge my stupidity and my lack of brains for even belonging to this kind of social circle/COUNTRY
7/12
ME: New fortnite season is out
F1: woah it's crazy let's play
F2: already on it, client is updating
F3: are you shitting me? gonna get BROS laptop (i'm going to suck my brothers cock and take his computer)
F4: Hang on bro wait for me also call me on discord.
I hope you guys could stick through that. Well there's no crazy moral to this but if you're one of these guys just appreciate your friend for his efforts once in a while even at the cost of acknowledging your stupidity.
Also, words like BRO are instant triggers and I'll make sure I find you can kill you if you use it more than once every couple of sentences ( I have relatively high tolerance )1 -
dammit ti why must your torture be limitless
> eZ80 has awesome DMA-like instruction that copies byte chunks based on registers and it's nigh-instant to copy 64k it's great
> TI has the opcode disabled outside a 4-byte chunk erroneously unincluded from all blacklists and access regulation
> can't bankswitch and keep registers, and can't write to anywhere but those 4 bytes in that bank
> no reusable code in target bank that i can use via mid-func bankswitch1 -
Ooooh man, I wanted to tell this to someone but never got the chance.
If I could choose, I would get the ability to comprehend something just from seeing it one only time and never forget about it for the rest of my life. Instant learning anything and never forgetting? I can't think in something better than that.1 -
As mentioned in one of my comments earlier, I am learning web development. And as such would like a web hosting service that is affordable and has instant customer support.
Suggestions ?12 -
It was on my last job before the one here. I met one of the other programmers in the team and it was an instant click. Really liked this dude. His name was Adam, he was older than me and we spent most of our time talking about code and listening to music (he was a hardcore Caifanes fan, which is one of the greatest Mexican rock bands ever) and he would show me the oldschool tech he used to work with. He was really cool and we still talk all the time :) another would be on a conference my current job sent me and my team to (all of my team are my friends as well) but we got to meet tons of cool people and we still talk to most of them.
:) good vibes man, nothing but good vibes.....and beer. -
I still hate Android Studio :( :( :(
Worked all morning on my project, debugging, no problem.
Now all of a sudden it crashes whenever I try to debug. java.lang.ClassNotFoundException - random classes.
But it runs fine if I just run the app.
I reverted to my last working commit, and it still does that. I restarted my computer. No luck.
I disabled Instant Run. No luck.
I tried to upgrade gradle to 3.3 - no luck. That's the extent of stack overflow suggestions for similar errors.
I am stumped. What has changed in the middle of a work-session when I have not changed any settings in the IDE, have not updated anything.
Aaarrgh!6 -
What do you guys think of forced linters (checkStyle) on java assignments?
At this University we have a submission system that checks for your code where if a line didn't match the coding specification then it's an instant zero.
Being experienced in programming before going to a university, this somewhat surprised me, it also has unit tests implemented in it where it checks against input and output.
Would love to hear your thoughts on this. Is it too much for people who unlike me never seen code before? Or let them have hell and understand how to deal with it? I personally think it's too much for beginners.3 -
Actually my degree helped me a lot, I owe my teachers most of what I know, I learned so much, I even learned to love programming with one of my teachers and now I can't think of myself doing anything apart from programming. It got me my first job, and soon I realized my formation (and my college partner's) was among the best in my country, I was soon able to solve problems that no one else in the team could, and could learn new stuff faster than them, all the graduated from my same college usually had better projects and instant good reputation because they knew we were well prepared.
So YES, my degree helped me and my friends a LOT and I feel I couldn't have chosen a better thing to study or a better place to do it. -
Finally accepted as telematics lab. assistant
Had to go to 30 years old initiation tradition by drinking 'The Drink' before getting lab. full access
Full Recipe: Mineral water, instant coffee, vanilla milk, cola, banana, pineapple, apple, melons, cup ramen, peanuts, snickers, m&m, potato chips, nata de coco.
Step:
1. Shove it all to blender
2. Blend
3. Bon Appetit3 -
Currently VSCode just because I am not that into Vim and it supports most languages I have to deal with very well (ReasonML/OCaml, TS, JS).
But when OniVim2 will be completed, that will probably it. I pre-purchased it and the instant startup time while still supporting vscode extensions are already promising.
https://v2.onivim.io/ -
xcode rant
After a long and exhausting progress that feels like it took days! (maybe a day lol). I came to the conclusion that StoryBoard is probably one of the biggest pains in the universe. I tried to center a UIImage View for an eternity to work both with landscape and portriat and continued to get vaying results with no actual pattern whatsoever.... One day I woke up and there was actually more textfields than were originally put on...... wahhhhh?
Within this eternity I decided that my only hope against losing all sanity and bashing my head against a keyboard screaming "#$%# you Xcode!" was to do the UI in AutoLayout Programmatically. Took me 1 hour.... thats it... Just one. Instant love. haha
Okay Im done now. Have a great day devRanters! -
I discovered a cool little trick to wake myself up when I wouldn't stop dozing off and feeling like passing out on the floor even after emptying the coffee jar to my cup and splashing my face with cold water.
I watched horror gameplays,
Instant effect and now fully awake.
Thablnkfully human fight or flight response really puts your body on overdrive, heightens your alertness and raises oxygen levels in blood which makes you stop yawning.
Imma play or watch resident evil 7 whenever I wake up now ! Life hackzz6 -
instant coffee isn't reeeeally instant, is it 🤔? I guess depends on when you start timing and whether time is continuous or stops at planck's constant or so1
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The way to avoid procrastination is to understand and use what your mind is trying to do - give itself instant gratification.
I use this method:
Step 1: Prepare your workspace in every way possible.
Step 2: Leave. Go do something fun for 20 minutes or so (yes, procrastinate on purpose). Get your mind calmed down and get rid of the anxieties about starting by just not starting.
Step 3: Sit down in your prepped environment, free of distractions and with a calmed mind, and pick a task to start hacking away at. -
Python's ast package is the coolest thing I've recently came across. If you're a compiler writer, you can translate your language's source code into python's ast. And your language has instant access to all of the python's libraries.
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Sending E-Mail to Software Developer, had to attach a number of documents, so i think, best i put them into an archive, lets just use 7Zip cause its two clicks for me.
Instant E-Mail back:
Thanks for your E-Mail, unfortunatly we cannot accept the .7z file. Please speak with out IT guy about the issue.
REALLY!? YOU GUYS SELL SOFTWARE AND YOU DONT KNOW WHAT 7Z IS ?!?!
I send a zip file in return without speaking to anyone.7 -
!rant
Just sharing a project I submitted to college. It is not done. It's a LAN messenger written in java swing.
https://gitlab.com/emyu10/lame -
I was looking for the largest known mersenne prime and tried doing this. I guess these are language limitations and don’t know what type of computers can give instant answers for such mathematical calculations. Is this complex than bitcoin hash? May be
4 -
has anyone used latest google pixel phones (5/6/7 etc) ? are there camera/video quality comparable to iPhone?
i am thinking of buying a new phone. i recently saw the various live photo/cinimetic/other features of iPhone's camera, and i became an instant fan of it. i personally am not a big photogenic person, but the quality of apple is worth on trips and events.
but i everything else about ios shitty and miles behind android. so want some good camera phone in android.
PS : no bloatware phones like xiaomi or oppo10 -
Modified stuff on production server without checking documentation, because I was cocky and tought that I remembered everything. The worst thing is, that right after that I took a lunch break and only realised what have I done after that. For an hour or so anyone who opened our app experienced an instant crash...
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I hope there's a pill that I could take to master vim and tiling desktop in an instant. I feel so envious just by looking at a co-worker who's good with that and rocking a cool tiny 60% keyboard. I'm TOO damn comfortable with the normies way of computing.2
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Oracle 11g DB or whatever version it was!! You need a fucking windows machine to install it, doesnt install on Linux or Mac!! I am a MySQL/Postgres guy, working on it was a nightmare, permission issues, and you need the oracle instant client on your system to communicate with windows, which works after a zillion errors!!
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Hey guys, I built a dead simple and minimal chrome extension which will give you your web page's PageSpeed Insights score in an instant. I hope this will be a real productivity booster for web dev friends.
You can get it on Chrome web store: goo.gl/vW6tRZ
Any kind of feedback is much appreciated ^_^2 -
Aaaaw, man, feels good writing some macros!
129 loc turned 30 😱
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and when I keep it all primitives I get instant feedback on what the fuck my code really looks like3 -
Gone in an instant was the shimmering gleem of hope that I'd get to work on modernization of our current code base. Back to last fucking century I guess.
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tl;dr: looking for suggestions for new instant messenger (WhatsApp, Telegram, etc.)
so I used to use Facebook Messenger a LOT, actually much more than even texting (I know I know, Facebook=spyware lol). I wanna ditch Facebook so bad but most of the people I talk to, I message through Messenger, and thus, I don't have most people's actual phone number. so I'm looking for suggestions for a new messaging platform, where these are my priorities:
1. Ease of use/existing userbase (e.g. the more of my friends that are already on it, the better)
2. Security & Privacy
3. the ability to easily find people I know without having their phone number7 -
The startup sound of MAMP has me flashback to the 90s... They just decided to use the aim instant message received sound when this thing powers on? Haha.1
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Work instant messenger....I turn my status to "offline" to give myself relief from constant interruptions
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“Epstein promotes concepts. He urges individuals—and parents especially—to abandon the desire for instant gratification and easy answers as early performance on tests isn’t an indicator of professional success. He emphasizes traits over particular skills—be curious, flexible, open-minded, adventurous, experimental, and playful. Try and fail and try again. Explore. Read outside your field. Supply your mind with lots of ideas so that you can make the connections that specialists miss, helping you thrive.
Never decide you are too old or too late to the game to try something new. “The tidy specialization narrative cannot easily fit even [the] relatively kind domains that have most successfully marketed it,” Epstein concludes. “So, about that, one sentence of advice: Don’t feel behind…research in myriad areas suggests that mental meandering and personal experimentation are sources of power, and head starts are overrated.”
https://qz.com/1638869/...2 -
Following are the only real problems I had with my XFCE Manjaro (I guess essentially XFCE problems). My question is, is it just me?
Touchpad problems:
The synaptics deprecation kinda f'ed me up.
I tried sticking to synaptics, but I had an issue where if I connected a usb mouse the touchpad would sometimes stop working (it's deprecated after all).
So I switched to libinput. The default movement feels good (synap felt kinda slippery)... but then... NO COASTING/KINETIC SCROLLING in a lot of apps? WTF?!
Would kinetic scrolling work in general if I switched to a wayland based DE?
The alt tab has a delay:
you would expect one of the most lightweight DEs to have near instant switching. But no, I have like almost full second delay, and for the life of me I can't find the way to customize it.
Thr battery management is kinda stupid. Even though I set the thing to hibernate or sleep in low battery it never does. -
Hey all, I'm curious for your opinion on this one. I've got some smart home devices (e.g. Hue lights, Nest Protect) and lately I started to think of the best way to protect them. Now I did see this project on Kickstarter (https://kickstarter.com/projects/...) and it seems to be a nice and easy way. But still, you don't know what they'll do with your data.
Would MAC address filtering in my router / modem not suffice for protection?
Let me know what you think :)5 -
How to get instant motivation and lazer focus on my coding? Do you know any trick? I know that brain fog requires a healthier lifestyle, but believe me i do a lot of that ( yoga, hikings, arts). I want to be able to grind on the computer like ten years ago, or find energy like playing rocket league ( which happens in one moment). I seek for a dirty hack, bene gesserit style.11
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!dev
Fuck, I love soundcloud but as an artist without any reputation, it fucking sucks when you upload a song, get an instant "love" from some random "promoter/bot" without the bot having the decency to listen, and when I look at the bot's profile, they "love" tracks that are not in my genre >_< (and manage to listen 60 minutes-worth of music in 1 minute...)
Not that I care whether people listen or not (it's more an ongoing portfolio to see how my mixing evolves over the years), but at least listen to it for 5 seconds2 -
A small instant cocoa package. Pink and blue. It said “Mine. Autonomous. Immaculate.” My sister gave it to me. It was made from human female skeletons, because you can't make them from male ones. Eat it as-is, or dissolve it in milk. It tastes like ketone bodies.5
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People around you (especially non-engineers) coming over just to know whether you saw their instant message ping / email to send them a value of a configuration. Or others who just comes in at the right time - when you just got into your utopian magical zone - "just to say hi and catch up". There goes the rest of my day.
Complement that to the instant messaging application of choice of the organization and it's a no-no for productivity. I find myself being invited to random channels only because they want to mention that I did something. I set myself to Away whenever I'm in the mood, but that still doesn't stop people from pinging and sending me notifications anyway. -
Started looking into pseudo functional programming in JS.
Instant love...!!!
Writing monads composing together with curried function passing beautiful immutable data...
While listening to Fur elise Beethoven....!!
Coding bliss..!!! -
I'm never committing to finishing another PC game ever again... And sticking to arcade, short games only.
Playing Nu no Kuni 2 for the last 3 days... 25hrs and counting... Now at final boss... I think and I can't get infinite HP in Skirmish... So Keep getting entire force wiped out one hit with his laser beam which keeps getting stronger....
It's like a fly vs us. In order to win it's gotta slowly chip away at u, but he can die at an instant any time...
Oh and the 25hrs includes massive cheating and speed hacking to move faster.2 -
Lack of communication, well the communication is there via instant messaging and some video calls, but it's much slower than usual.
And the lack of free coffee of course. -
question to my male homies (or ladies too, if you are equally violent) hey what are your thoughts about someone fucking with your priced possession? you might not have a generic answer, so here are some specific scenarios:
1. some random drunk guy intentionally keys your car/breaks a headlight and you see it.
2. some guy teases /touches your girl/wife/SO/kid inappropriately.
3. some guy drops your phone and breaks screen.
my personal angry reaction for above things could go from either slapping/punching a guy to possibly do him a permanent damage (break arm,leg,nose,hand etc). i am not a violent guy , but some things matter more than a crime i guess (although, does it really count as a crime tho?)
i feel we can give a very these violent reaction for 2 reasons : these possessiona are so damn expensive that we genuinely get hurt and want an instant revenge and secondly we don't trust the judiciary to give a worthy punishment
i asked a friend of mine a simialar question and his violence meter is even lesser. he (20 at that time) once slapped his 50 year old neighbour coz they entered his home and started shouting at his dad, another time caused a big scene on a T-point as an auto driver accidentally dented his car while turning (the car was 2 days old)13 -
Meanwhile
In the inverse of never never land where everyone ages except mentally
This brewed coffee is weaker than my instant
And I miss the Mt Hagens German brew I bought at the whole foods in Boston
They literally have nothing else worth buying lol
Wegans is a million times better and is still saturated with just as many awful perverts.
And whores
The whores don't keep their distance
That is fine
Wrote this yesterday ended up being true
Speaking of duplication
I have a feeling I'm headed one of the same directions
And the same horrible singer is in this mall and the same depressing shit with a few creepy alterations are going on -
So I was bored today and I decided to jump on the “shit on Facebook for being offline“ train by posting some PROGRAMMING memes on the rest of the available social media. I didn’t repost like everyone else and everything was fine until I made the mistake to post them on imgur as well. Apparently imgur is full of toxic, sad, arrogant pricks that will downvote the shit out of anything in an instant, without really understanding the posts. If you think reviews on the app store, google play or review bombings on steam are the definitions of stupidity and ignorance or that comments on Facebook are everything wrong with this world, then you haven’t tried posting on imgur.
Seriously, fuck imgur.7
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