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Why do shithead clients think they can walk away without paying us once we deliver the project !!!
So, here goes nothing..
Got an online gig to create a dashboard.
Since i had to deal with a lot of shitheads in the past, I told them my rules were simple, 20% advance, 40% on 50% completion and 40% after i complete and send them proof of completion. Once i receive the payment in full, only then i will hand over the code.
They said it was fine and paid 20%.
I got the next 40% also without any effort but they said they also needed me to deploy the code on their AWS account, and they were ready to pay extra for it, so i agreed.
I complete the whole project and sent them the screenshots, asking for the remaining 40% payment. They rejected the request saying my work was not complete as i had not deployed on AWS yet. After a couple of more such exchanges, i agreed to setup their account before the payment. But i could sense something fishy, so i did everything on their AWS account, except registered the domain from my account and set up everything. Once i inform them that its done and ask for the remaining payment.
The reply i got was LOL.
I tried to login to the AWS account, only to find password had been changed.
Database access revoked.
Even my admin account on the app had been removed. Thinking that they have been successful, they even published ads about thier NEW dashboard to their customers.
I sent them a final mail with warning ending with a middle finger emoji. 24 hours later,
I created a github page with the text " This website has been siezed by the government as the owner is found accused in fraud" and redirected the domain to it. Got an apology mail from them 2 hours later begging me to restore the website. i asked for an extra 10% penalty apart from the remaining payment. After i got paid, set an auto-reply of LOL to thier emails and chilled for a week before restoring the domain back to normal.
Dev : 1
Shithead Client: 022
During my first-ever technical interview, the interviewer asked me "Do you know the FizzBuzz problem?"
"Uhh, not really." (I was just thinking ok this problem has a name, must be some algorithm problem)
"So the problem is basically to give you the numbers 1 to 100, if the number is divisible by 3, print 'Fizz', if divisible by 5, print 'Buzz', if divisible by 3 and 5, print 'FizzBuzz'. For other numbers just print out the number itself."
After hearing the problem, I felt so many ideas popping out of my stressed brain.
I thought for a bit and said "ok, so if the digit sum of a number is a multiple of 3, then the number is divisible by 3, and if the last digit is either 0 or 5, it's divisible by 5."
Then I started to code out my solution until the interviewer said "there's an easier solution. Can you think of it?"
This stressed me out even more.
I thought for a bit and said "well, starting from 3, keep a counter that records how many iterations are done after 3. When the counter hits 3, that number would be divisible by 3 for sure. Should I try this solution?"
The interviewer said "Sure." So I started again.
However, I struggled for about another 3min until I realized this solution is a lot harder to implement. The interviewer probably saw my struggle too.
This was the point where he stepped in and asked me "Ummmm there's an easy way of solving this. Have you heard of the MODULO OPERATOR?"
In sheer embarrassment, I finished the code in 30s.
Of course, there was no further question after this, and I felt the need to seriously reevaluate my intelligence afterwards.12
First time committing a ticket is scary… I can’t stop thinking how my colleagues and tech lead gonna look at my code and question me if I lied on my resume…3
Okidoky you lil fucker where you've been hiding...
*streaming tcpdump via SSH to other box, feeding tshark with input filters*
Finally finding a request with an ominous dissector warning about headers...
Not finding anything with silversearcher / ag in the project...
*getting even more pissed causr I've been looking for lil fucker since 2 days*
*generating possible splits of the header name, piping to silversearcher*
*I/O looks like clusterfuck*
Common, it are just dozen gigabytes of text, don't choke just because you have to suck on all the sucking projects this company owns... Don't drown now, lil bukkake princess.
*half an hour later*
Oh... Interesting. Bukkake princess survived and even spilled the tea.
Someone was trying to be overly "eager" to avoid magic numbers...
They concatenated a header name out of several const vars which stem from a static class with like... 300? 400? vars of which I can make no fucking sense at all.
Class literally looks like the most braindamaged thing one could imagine.
And yes... Coming back to the network error I'm debugging since 2 days as it is occuring at erratic intervals and noone knew of course why...
One of the devs changed the const value of one of the variables to have UTF 8 characters. For "cleaner meaning".
Sometimes I just want to electrocute people ...
The reason this didn't pop up all the time was because the test system triggered one call with the header - whenever said dev pushed changes...
And yeah. Test failures can be ignored.
Why bother? Just continue meddling in shit.
I'm glad for the dev that I'm in home office... :@
TLDR: Dev changed const value without thinking, ignoring test failures and I had the fun of debunking for 2 days a mysterious HAProxy failure due to HTTP header validation...
I get to relieve stress and not think about anything but my breathing and how much my legs hurt.
Meanwhile, my brain can relax and work out solutions to problems I'm not thinking about.
Disconnect from everything that you're thinking of for a moment. Step away from your computer, and dump all of your thoughts out for about five minutes.
In better terms: clear your cache. Your devices need it, and you need it too. Bonus points if you give your eyes a stretch and look outside your window.1
I spent the whole damn day trying to setup grpc-web, but this protocol is documented so damn poorly!
You manage to set grpc up for one language and it’s all cool, then you stupidly think that you are free to reuse the compiler you used for the nodejs version for your frontend part but nope! Our web module is now deprecated, please use this module instead!
“Ah yes just clone the repo and check out (…) and you can also check this link whic is in no way highlighted in the middle of a wall of text (…)”
*checking the other page*
Ah yes you need to install a package available only on your unix machine (great! Screw the devs in my team who use windows I guess, they’ll be happy to hear this!) and don’t forget to clone this repo to build your own plugin! And by that I ofc mean to compile it on your own!
- compiler error
After digging for an hour you find a requirement in an obscure issue opened and closed cause “ah yes we have a dependency not stated anywhere” *close issue and never add it to the project*
Fine, fine I can survive this bs
- another compiler error, no solution found after 2 hours
Honestly? Why the fuck do I need to compile this stuff? Just give me a damn npm package I can use? Goddamn it’s just transpiling, you don’t need access to my OS! (Aside for fs to save the files, and which btw is accessible via nodejs)
Now, I COULD download the latest realease as a precompiled, but… honestly?
I give up, I’ll do some shitty rest apis cause the customer’s not paying me enough for even THINKING to go trough this shit again when they’ll ask an iOS app. Or having colleagues asking me to help them understand how to do it.
Side note: also add typescript support to the web-code-generation ffs! Why does node have it and web don’t?5
I have a python script that continuously collects data for me. I want to be able to display that data on a node js server. How should I go about this? I was thinking of maybe having the python script send get requests to the server but I feel that is not the right answer. Let me know if u guys need more info, thanks!5