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Client: "Do you think we could finish specs in week 33, see a demo in week 35, and aim for the product to be finished in week 39?"
I jump on the conference room table, rip the shirt off my sweaty chest, and yell:
"WEEKS OF WHAT? 31 WEEKS SINCE YOU BECAME A CLIENT, 35 WEEKS FROM NOW, 39 WEEKS INTO THE PREGNANCY? BLOODY FUCKING HELL MAN, DO YOU HAVE TO TALK LIKE A RETARD?"
Client, unfazed: "Weeks since the start of the year, sir"
Me, swinging my pants above my head like a lasso:
"WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF SNOWFLAKE ARE YOU, YOU REALLY EXPECT ME TO COUNT THE WEEKS SINCE THE START OF THE YEAR? WHAT ABOUT JUST USING DAY OF THE MONTH YOU OBNOXIOUS DIMWIT?"
Client: "We always use weeks at our company to plan things"
Me, winding the legs of my pants around the neck of the client:
"I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE USE WEEKNUMBERS, JAKE. I. FUCKING. HATE. IT."
Client, still pretending everything is fine: "If you want I could send you a screenshot of my outlook calendar?"
Me, sitting in underpants on the client's back, sweaty legs wrapped around his waist, trying to pull out his gel-infested manager-hair while strangling him with my pants:
"TIME OF DEATH, UNIX TIMESTAMP 1595240810, ISO 8601 DATE 2020-07-20T10:26:50+00:00. ANOTHER PROJECT SUCCESSFULLY WRAPPED UP"
(parts of this story may have been dramatized to reflect my underlying emotions)30 -
terms can only be use in programming: -
Where friends have access to your private parts,
Where Parents may kill their child if required,
Where Bugs come in from open windows,
Where one image is worth 128K words,
Where 10 == 2,
Where Zombies are common and not dangerous *,
Where Daemons are always there somewhere
Where the slimmest of USB drives are considered FAT *,
Where comments are made and arguments are passed, **
Where forever alone nerds can also unzip, touch, mount and fsck ***,
Where root is top of the tree,
Where x = x + y is totally correct,
Where opening a jar requires Java,
Where Oct 31 = Dec 25,
Thanks to ASHISH KEDIA for writing these.
Source :- Quora4 -
Got 98% (31.5/32) on a French test
Teacher drops a mark from everyone’s test
Now I have 102% (31.5/31)
Teacher apologized to me saying marks can’t be over 100%
So she gives me a .5 mark on whatever I want
Started with:
- 98%
Ended with:
-100%
-extra .5 mark
...who needs mathematics... or logic for that matter40 -
Things have been a little too quiet on my side here, so its time for an exciting new series:
practiseSafeHex's new life as a manager.
Episode 1: Dealing with the new backend team
It's great to be back folks. Since our last series where we delved into the mind numbing idiocy of former colleagues, a lot has changed. I've moved to a new company and taken a step up as a Dev manager / Tech lead. Now I know what you are all thinking, sounds more dull and boring right? Well it wouldn't be a practiseSafeHex series if we weren't ...
<audience-shouting>
DEALING! ... WITH! ... IDIOTS!
</audience-shouting>
Bingo! so lets jump right in and kick us off with a good one.
So for the past few months i've been on an on-boarding / fact finding / figuring out this shit-storm, mission to understand more about what it is i'm suppose to do and how to do it. Last week, as part of this, I had the esteemed pleasure of meeting face to face with the remote backend team i've been working with. Lets rattle off a few facts to catch us all up:
- 8 hour time difference to me
- No documentation other than a non-maintained swagger doc
- Swagger is reporting errors and several of the input models are just `Type: String`
- The one model that seems accurate, has every property listed as optional, including what must be the primary key
- Properties go missing and get removed at the drop of a hat and we are never told.
- First email I sent them took 27 days to reply, my response to that hasn't been answered so far 31 days later (new record! way to go team, I knew we could do it!!!)
- I deal directly with 2 of them, the manager and the tech lead. Based on how things have gone so far, i've nick named them:
1) Ass
2) Hole
So lets look at some example of their work:
- I was trying to test the new backend, I saw no data in QA. They said it wouldn't show up until mid day their time, which is middle of the night for us. I said we need data in our timezone and I was told: a) "You don't understand how big this system is" (which is their new catch phrase) b) "Your timezone is not my concern"
- The whole org started testing 2 days later. The next day a member from each team was on a call and I was asked to give an update of how the testing was going on the mobile side. I said I was completely blocked because I can't get test data. Backend were asked to respond. They acknowledged they were aware, but that mobile don't understand how big the system is, and that the mobile team need to come up with ideas for the backend team, as to how mobile can test it. I said we can't do anything without test data, they said ... can you guess what? ... correct "you don't understand how big the system is"
- We eventually got something going and I noticed that only 1 of the 5 API changes due on their side was done. Opened tickets. 2 days later asked them for progress and was told that "new findings" always go to the bottom of the backlog, and they are busy with other things. I said these were suppose to be done days ago. They said you can't give us 2 days notice and expect everything done. I said the original ticket was opened a month a go *sends link* ......... *long silence* ...... "ok, but you don't understand how big the system is, this is a lot of work"
- We were on a call. Product was asking the backend manager (aka "Ass") a question about a slight upgrade to the new feature. While trying to talk, the tech lead (aka "Hole") kept cutting everyone off by saying loudly "but thats not in scope". The question was "is this possible in the future" and "how long would it take", coming from management and product development. Hole just kept saying "its not in scope", until he was told to be quiet by several people.
- An API was sending down JSON with a string containing a message for the user with 2 bits of data inside it. We asked for one of those pieces to also come down as a property as the string can change and we needed it client side. We got that. A few days later we found an edge case and asked for the second piece of data to be a property too. Now keep in mind, they clearly already have access to them in order to make the string. We were told "If you keep requesting changes like this, you are going to delay the release of the backend by up to 2 weeks"
Yes folks, there you have it, the most minuscule JSON modifications, can delay your release by up to 2 weeks ........ maybe I should just tell product, that they don't understand how big the app is, and claim we can't build it on our side? Seems to work for them
Thats all the time we have for today,
Tune in for more, where we'll be looking into such topics as:
- If god himself was an iOS developer ... not
- Why automate when you can spend all day doing it by hand
- Its more time-efficient to just give everything a story point of 5
- Why waste time replying to emails ... when you can do nothing instead
See you all next week,
practiseSafeHex14 -
So we had this girl working with us as a graphic designer, she has a great sense of humor and pretty much impossible to piss her off
So April 1st is considered "a fool's day" here, on March 31 i sent an official looking email to everyone ( minus the seniors ) in our office saying how she's kinda shy about having her birthday on April 1st and everyone should wish her so she wouldn't feel awkward about it
Needless to say her actual birthday is not in April
So when she came to office on 1st, everyone started wishing her and singing Happy Birthday, she spent whole day explaining to everyone that came to wish
It was awkward as hell and pretty hilarious 😂😂10 -
All the stupid date functions where the days range from 1 to 31 but the months range from 0 to 1120
-
1. There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
2. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. It's a hardware problem.
3. A SEO couple had twins. For the first time they were happy with duplicate content.
4. Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?
Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC
5. Why do they call it hyper text?
Too much JAVA.
6. Why was the JavaScript developer sad?
Because he didn't Node how to Express himself
7. In order to understand recursion you must first understand recursion.
8. Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they can't C#
9. What do you call 8 hobbits?
A hobbyte
10. Why did the developer go broke?
Because he used up all his cache
11. Why did the geek add body { padding-top: 1000px; } to his Facebook profile?
He wanted to keep a low profile.
12. An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, pub, tavern, public house, Irish pub, drinks, beer, alcohol
13. I would tell you a UDP joke, but you might not get it.
14. 8 bytes walk into a bar, the bartenders asks "What will it be?"
One of them says, "Make us a double."
15. Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, "Are you ill?"
The second byte replies, "No, just feeling a bit off."
16. These two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, "So what'll it be?"
The first string says, "I think I'll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy~~owmc63^Dz x.xvcu"
"Please excuse my friend," the second string says, "He isn't null-terminated."
17. "Knock, knock. Who's there?"
very long pause...
"Java."
18. If you put a million monkeys on a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program. The rest of them will write Perl programs.
19. There's a band called 1023MB. They haven't had any gigs yet.
20. There are only two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.10 -
Portugal is burning
500+ fires active
31 confirmed deads in 1 day...
A large one almost reached my house, saved by two man with construction machines. Still houses burned, gás bottles exploding like shotguns at a distance...
It's the end off the summer...
And now im at work, a new fire started close by...
27 -
coworker: what's your address?
me: 173.168.15.10
coworker: no, your local address
me: 127.0.0.1
coworker: no, your physical address
me: 29:01:38:62:31:58
coworker: ...........4 -
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.
*badum tsss* -
Turned 31 yesterday and the wife surprised with these awesome hand painted rubber duckies of some of my fav characters 😁
7 -
Someone stole my mouse when moving office... Dude the things on MY DESK are mine, you can't just take people's stuff and make it yours
Now I am using your crappy mouse... 😑6 -
Overheard some guy talking about robotics on the phone, turns out it was all about MS excel macros.
people need to stop abusing terms like big data, AI etc. to make them sound 'smart' 🙄4 -
"We’re putting a bullet through Google’s head" - Cyanogen, 2015
"Cyanogen services shutting down on December 31, 2016” - Cyanogen, 2016
28 -
OK.
1. So i tindered.
2. I got a really nice girl.
3. We chatted really long and good.
4. We tried to meetup it did not work because of our schedule. New
job on my end, she is a student.
5. I thought its over. Fine whatever.
6. She gives me her number.
7. We continue chat on whatsapp
8. Blablabla 3 days long, she gets bored and tries to friendzone me
9. I revert the shit and state i wanna be serious and there wont be a
friendzone/nice guy comin from me.
10. She happy and continues to chat.
11. I get emtionally invested in her.
12. We exchange thoughts dreams and music.
13 We want to meetup at weekend. I cant. Got a family wedding all
weekend.
14. We want to meetup the second week.
I cant. Im off on a company trip. Again new job here.
15. So we say in the week after I get back.
15a. Before the weekend we need to deliver an rc and go all out to hold
the deadline.
15b. We deliver, but shit happens on the customer side. His fault but we
get the blame.
15c I go onto the company trip.
16. We chat and i send her pictures of the trip over the weekend so she
sees I care.
17. She seems fine. And happy.
18. I come back from the trip late night and need to work the next day
jetlag style.
19. I work jetlag style. And try to fix the shit from last week.
20. I come home really tired and looking forward to date day tomorrow.
21. I cant do anything. My home looks like shit and the bag still
unpacked. I just eat and fall asleep.
I feel bad bcs my home will turn her down instantly if we make it to my
place.
Need to hope that it does not come to this.
22. Date day comes. Today.
23. I wake up at 6 early to plan ahead to make sure my clothes are fine
and i arrive on time in the office to exit early.
24. I expect to check what goes on today in the city and give her the
location to meet and time.
25. I enter office and immeadetly get caught up in meeting planning, dev
questions and the meeting itself because the project is on edge.
26. We have a 5hours long meeting where people go on and on and on.
27. 3h later in the meeting:
my brain was fried and around 12 i go to lunch with some people.
28. Meanwhile the city is turning into a rainy mess of a shitty day. No
way I can have a nice walk with her like that. Bars and coffeshops are
just to boring.
29. So i eat to regain some sense and we go back to the office.
Meanwhile I am thinking all kinds of locations and stuff in my head.
30. Havent given her any update since a good morning in the morning.
31. We reenter the meeting. Things continue like before. The project is
on impossible demands and impossible timelines. Still we try to do our
best.
32 3h later on 3pm I tell her i am in a long meeting and working on a
meetingspot.
33. shes not happy.
34. I get a call from a relative
35. i need to go out and take the call. not good for the collegues.
again new job here.
36. family trouble, money trouble, goverment demands. I promise to
handle that tomorrow. Before work.
37. i get back into the meeting.
38. still super slow and no results.
39. need to focus but start to check for locations on my phone.
40. she asks me where i am
41. I send her my location.
42. she thinks i am saying she should pick me up!
43 i joke and say no definitly not.
44. shes pissed.
45. I decide for a coffeeshop. after work. and send her the location
46. She says to call it off.
47. I go all in and go romance style. I say ill wait there even if she
does not come to show her how much i care.
U know to avoid the lets do it some other time fuckery and then it never
happens.
47. She goes quiet.
48. 2h later we finish the meeting. Meanwhile QA foudn a bug we need to
fix because why not.
49. I got 30 minutes to find the bug and fix it before I need to go to
uphold my word.
50. I find out what to do, but it might break a lot of other things
without careful test and implementation. Collegues says he takes it.
51 I feel bad but I need to go. I even leave earlier because otherwise I
would not be on time.
52. I arrive 15 minutes early. I grab two coffee2go and wait outside,
53. Shitty weather, sometimes rain, sometimes sunny, cant decide what it
wants.
54. The weather is just like how I feel.
55. I wait 1 1/2h
56. I think I should feel stupid, For gods sake its tinder. People dont
give a crap, Enough people around why should I Invest so much into this?
But I dont feel stupid. Because this is how I want it. I dont want
appointments, I dont want safety. I decided for her and I went all in.
57. I send her pics from the sceneray as proof that I waited,
58. I think I blew it. She is still quiet.
59. Friends are asking me for plans for the weekend. I wish I could say
I already have some with her.
60. I feel lost right now. But my head says I put too much stress on
her, And i fucked up with the planning. I should have been more precise.
My head also says that i am putting myself into the victim role, which
is wrong always. Should I continue to reach out to her? Is there
something I could do still?68 -
Got this from boss (a few colleagues got it as well):
Sites have been down over the weekend and seems the only person cares is PM! There is a condition about working when required (i.e. unpaid OT) on your contract! It is essential that sites are properly managed even at weekends - we run a online business! If anyone has problems we'll discuss next week
*Note: site was partially down and there was no major impact on the business
When I explained why we need to rebuild the sites, you said not now - almost 2 years now, still nothing happens.
When I asked if we can get managed hosting or load balancer, fecking NO again
After asking for my opinion on the sites, you & the puppet think my honesty is me being negative and incorporate, and exclude me from meetings and major part of my work
Go fuck yourself! I've warned you about the status of the sites and you did not want to listen SO DON'T TELL ME I'M NOT DOING MY JOB WHEN YOU'RE THE ONE STOPPING ME FROM DOING IT PROPERLY!
I'm sure we'll have our meeting very soon, cheapskate.
10 -
CEO: if we would not give new features, clients would be bored and would not pay for tool.
me: but don't you think we should fix buggy old code, that would reduce effort and time that we daily invest in prod bugs?
CEO: I'm not saying we should not fix them but we should maintain the balance which is 80-20. 80% of our work would include adding new features.
😑
Next day in morning receives email:
There is a production issue, fix it asap.
😬10 -
When you a Visual learner
Learning Beziér Curve📈📉. I like learning thing visually, it helps me figure something out easily.
Do you too?
9 -
Use profanity labelled variables... like the $penis I just used in my code... (makes coding fun, until u get "undefined variable: cannot find $penis on line 31")1
-
I finally stopped being lazy and wrote 31 unit tests for my Discord bot.
Nothing is more satisfying than seeing them all pass and the GitHub workflow working without any problems. :)8 -
For rating rants:
count the number of fucks/curses and find the rank of a given rant!
0-5: GENTLE AS A LAMB
6-10: ANGRY GOAT
11-15: NUN WITH PMS
16-20: RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC
21-25: CANTANKEROUS VIETNAM VET
26-30: BREAKING SHIT
31-35: DOMESTIC DISTURBANCE
36-40: BIPOLAR EPISODE
41-45: DESPAIR EVENT HORIZON
46-50: BROKEN CAPSLOCK
51-55: WOKE UP AND CHOSE VIOLENT
56-60: MID LIFE CRISIS
61-65:MASTURBATING WITH WORDS
66+ : MASTER GRAND WIZARD21 -
main(n){float r,i,R,I,b;for(i=-1;i<1;i+=.06,puts(""))for(r=-2;I=i,(R=r)<1; r+=.03,putchar(n+31))for(n=0;b=I*I,26>n++&&R*R+b<4;I=2*R*I+i,R=R*R-b+r);}
C is awesome - try this code, and play around with the numbers
(I didn't write this)7 -
Flash has made Java programs look desirable. And anyone keeping up with me knows I despise Java and C#, despite having written C# and currently working on deciphering a Java server to create documentation.
Before I begin, I want to make this clear: IT IS TWO THOUSAND AND FUCKING EIGHTEEN. 2018. WE HAVE BETTER TECH. JAVASCRIPT HAS TAKEN OVER THIS BITCH. So, firstly, FUCK FLASH. Seriously, that shit's a security liability. If you work for a company that uses it, find a new job and then fucking quit, or go mutany and get several devs to begin a JS-based implementation that has the same functionality. There is no excuse. "I'm fired?" That's not an excuse - if there is a way to stop the madness, then fucking hit the brakes on that shit or begin job hunting. Oh, and all you PMs who are reading this and have mandated or helped someone else to mandate work on an enterprise flash program, FUCK YOU. You are part of the problem.
The reason for this outburst seems unreasonable until you realize the hell I went through today. At my University, there is a basic entry-level psychology course I'm taking. Pearson, a company I already fucking hate for some of the ethically sketchy shit they pulled with PARCC as well as overreach in publishing to the point they produce state tests here in the US - has a product called "My PsychLab" and from here on out, I'm referring to it as MPL. MPL has an issue - it is entirely fucking Flash. Homework assignments, the textbook, FUCKING EVERYTHING. So, because of that, you need to waste time finding a browser that works. Now let me remind all of you that just because something SHOULD WORK does NOT mean that it actually does.
I'm sitting on my Antergos box a few days ago: Chromium and Firefox won't load Flash. I don't know why, and don't care to find out. NPAPI and whatnot are deprecated but should still run in a limited mode or some shit. No go on Antergos.
So, today I went to the lab in the desolated basement of an old building which is where it's usually empty except a student hired by the university to make sure nobody fucks things up. I decided - because y'all know I fuckin' hate this - to try Windows. No go in Chrome still - it loaded Flash but couldn't download the content. So I tried Firefox - which worked. My hopes were up, but not too long - because there was no way to input. The window had buttons and shit - but they were COMPLETELY UNRESPONSIVE.
So the homework is also Flash-based. It's all due by 1/31/18 - FOUR CHAPTERS AND THE ACCOMPANYING HOMEWORK - which I believe is Tuesday, and the University bookstore is closed both Saturday and Sunday. No way to get a physical copy of the book. And I have other classes - this isn't the only one.
Also, the copyright on the program was 2017 - so whoever modded or maintained that Flash code - FUCK YOU AND THE IRRESPONSIBLE SHIT YOUR TEAM PULLED. FUCK THE SUPERIORS MAKING DECISIONS AS WELL. Yeah, you guys have deadlines? So do the end users, and when you have to jump through hoops only to realize you're fucked? That's a failure of management and a failure of a product.
How many people are gonna hate me for this? Haters gonna hate, and I'm past the point of caring.7 -
We are the 31, it is 00:54, I have a full specification to deliver on the 1rst at 00:00, and there is only half of it done.
Wish me luck for my doc New Year Eve2 -
Signed up on Trello, got everything set up there and everyone has an account.
But my dear PM, why the hell are you still sending out a screenshot of your bloody spreadsheet bug tracker and ask everyone for updates????
Fellow devRanters how do I get (force) my PM to use a project management system instead of silly tables?11 -
Apple revoked FB and Google's Experimental Certificates!
Way to go Apple! Showing the cojones!
https://theverge.com/2019/1/...3 -
I used to think I was so clever by viewing the source code of websites, and would just scroll through it for fun, but what really got me started in programming was the TI-83 calculator I got in grade 10.
You couldn't view the code of most programs on that calc without a computer connection, but I managed to get my hands on the source code of something simple and learned how to prompt for values and calculate things with them. Before I knew it, I was making little programs in BASIC that did formulas for me (Area/circumference of a circle, etc.). One of my professors caught me showing my calculator to another student in class, and assumed I was being a bad student. When I said I made a program as a shortcut for one of the formulas we were learning, she tried to call my bluff and said to write the whole program on the whiteboard for the class to see. 10 minutes of writing and more than one blank stare from my classmates later, the teacher just waved me off and continued the lesson. I was chuffed :-). I made these simple programs for all my math classes throughout high school.
Unfortunately, my first year of university I took a CS course, and my teacher was probably the worst I've ever had in my life. I decided it wasn't for me, and though I did maintain my general aptitude for tech (and was still the person who fixed everyone's printers and viruses), I took a different path, eventually getting an Arts degree in Anthropology.
Where I live, the market for this is more than stale. In fact, it's completely flat, so I thought I would take a course about programming with Arduinos for fun and see if I should return to school for a different certification. It was AWESOME! I made a wireless weather station with Xbees and sensors and built my own anemometer.
I got a job at a manufacturing company, and had the fortune to build a robot which eventually made it's way to the second season of Battlebots. The level of intelligence and enthusiasm I encountered really inspired me, and now here I am at 31, halfway through a BSc in Computer Science and working for a company that makes 3D printers.
It's been a long journey, but the adventure always starts anew tomorrow.5 -
Story time.....
I only had one mentor. I am a self-learned guy.
He was my mentor in a company where I was interning. He was a Senior Android Developer and I was just a rookie Android Developer working under him.
He never taught me directly but at times he used to send me links of a source for the problem I was having.
At the end of my first working day, I asked him-"Do you think I was useful to you today? "
He bluntly replied-"Nope, none at all"
Those words hit me so hard. My eyes became moist. When I thought about It I did realize that day I was overwhelmed by so many topics I was new to. I was determined to work my ass off from the next day. And I did.
Fast forward to the last day at the company. It was 31'st December, we were having New Years Eve's party. Everyone was a little drunk except for the interns. In front of everyone, my mentor said-"You were the best intern I have ever had such a good intern that I did not have to work last few days", everyone agreed and then he hugged me.
I was on the seventh heaven that day. Throughout my journey back home, I had a broad smile on my face.6 -
When you resign, then they realise a potential developer. Before that you were just an Hooman resource.1
-
31 hours
I was on a hackathon, we got time between Saturday 10AM until Sunday 5PM.
Most people went to sleep at some point, i literally used all the time i got and could submit a finished and playable game.
I felt drunk and incredibly dizzy at the end3 -
Aggressively eliminate from your life everything that causes the slightest mental distress. Replace everything that has to it even a hint of undesirable emotions.
I once read about a girl who left work to buy a plane ticket to Australia to get away from her abusive boyfriend, and started her life from scratch. Being in an abusive relationship myself, I envied her.
One million seconds is eleven days. One billion seconds is 31 years. If you have just one second to spend with a person, you won't run out of the population for 248 whole years. There is no such thing as an irreplaceable person, no matter if they're your father, mother, best friend, wife, or husband.
Pain and trauma won't really go away, but they won't get bigger. You, however, can. One day you will be dying, and realizing at that moment that you didn't live the life you wanted to live, while knowing it's too late now, is the scariest thing that can happen to a human being. As you fade away, the sense of time will slip, and whatever you're feeling will stretch to eternity. Make it an eternity of calm happiness, and not an eternity of doubt and sorrow.
Make sure that when this moment comes, you're ready and comfortable with the life you lived. At least be confident it was YOUR life, and not someone else's.
This goes to everyone, both mentally/physically ill and healthy, and to both neurotypical and on the spectrum.12 -
Will try to keep that one short.
So we have internal system for active QR codes, nothing really special, as you could imagine. I wrote it when I was beginner but it works and is heavly battle-tested.
Today JBOG (just bunch of guys) come in and try to BS me that something is showing up wrongly for someone.
I check things up, nothing looks out of the order, I go there, everything looks fine too, and they say that yeah but this printed certificate's QR dosen't match what some QR with this name is within the system...
Short invastigation. TL;DR, someone who was rendering/printing these certificates had bunch of these codes with names like
30. ABC
31. ABC
32. ABC
And just casually missclicked...
And to come to that conclusion they need fucking backend dev to confirm that code last 1.5 year didnt magically change, and to destroy their magical belief that it's code's fault.
No, someone fucking missclicked. Whole magic. Usually problem is between chair and keyboard, get fucking used to it. Now, having that settled, let me get back to my work. -
Email from boss: Have a nice weekend everyone!
Colleague A's reply: The weather is gonna be bad...
PM: Oh then A, you can stay at home and make sure the sites are working over the weekend!
5 seconds later boss replied:
Oh enjoy watching the sites then!
I can tell you two are from the same pile of turd *smh* -
I hate it when people sort numbers in a drop down box like so:
[1, 10, 11, 12...19, 2, 20, 21...29, 3, 30, 31...]
This is just pure infuriating...5 -
FUCK YOU PHP, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU GIVE ME DECEMBER 1ST WHEN I DO
strtotime('-1 month', '12/31/2015)
USING DateTime PRODUCES THE SAME FUCKING RESULT. ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED OR WHAT?
YEAH I KNOW NOVEMBER DOESN'T HAVE 31ST BUT YOU COULD AT LEAST RETURN 30TH OR EVEN RAISE A WARNING, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT.10 -
"we have add a lot of cost partly due to currency exchange rate, but we also added some services and servers, we'll have a meeting and see what we can cancel or re-arrange."
So now....
- JIRA is gone
- SEO tools are gone
- budget for site security & SSL undecided
- Servers are too expensive.
$800 for twelve 2-24gb ram servers with backup, I call that bargain
Can't wait to see the websites falling apart. Now where are my popcorns?9 -
Another unrealistic deadline from our non-software developer PM.
He agreed to client upon delivery of a complete system consisting of 4 micro-services in Node and 4 front-end Angular application integrated with each micro-service accordingly.
Project Delivery date is December 31. I have told him It is impossible to deliver complete solution on December 31.
Now he wants me & my team to come to office even on weekends.
What an idiot !5 -
To all the Java Teams that died during the fucking Mobile Civil War, We salute you!
1. Millionaire 2011
2. Splinter Cell: Double Agent
3. Dragon Ball Z Saiyan Fighters
4. Moto Girls
5. 24 Special Ops
6. Thor: The Dark World
7. Kung Fu Panda
8. Worms 2011: Armageddon
9. Asphalt 4: Elite Racing
10. Resident Evil - The Missions
11. Ghost Recon: Future Soldier
12. Spider-Man 3
13. Need for Speed - Undercover 3D
14. Contra 4
15. Rambo on Fire
16. Fast and Furious 6
17. Counter Strike 3D
18. Men in Black 3
19. X–Men Origins: Wolverine
20. WWE Legends of Wrestlemania 3D
21. 3D Fight Night: Round 4
22. 3D Ultimate Rally Championships
23. Assassin's Creed
24. Zuma
24. Die Hard 4
25. 3D WWE Smackdown Vs RAW 2009
26. Prince of Persia 3: The Two Thrones
27. 3D Fight Night: Round 3
28. Super Mario Bros
29. Bruce Lee - Iron Fist 3D
30. Naruto Adventure: A New Apprentice
31. FIFA 2011
32. James Cameron's Avatar
33. Racing 2: The Real Car Experience
34. King Kong
35. Gangstar City
36. Iron Man 3
37. XIII 2: Covert Identity
38. 4x4 Extreme Rally 3D
39. Real Football Manager 2013
40. Splinter Cell: Conviction
41. 2008 Real Football 3D
42. Assassin's Creed 2
43. Hummer 3D
44. American Gangster
45. Real Football 2009
46. 3D Football: Real Madrid 2010
47. Xtreme Dirt Bike
48. Tekken Mobile
49. A Good Day to Die Hard
50. The Amazing Spider-Man 2
51. Asphalt 3: Street Rules 3D
52. GTA IV Mobile
53. 3D Contr Terrorism
54. Real Football 2015
55. The Amazing Spider-Man
56. Contra 4 (2009)
57. Mortal Kombat 3D
58. Bad Girls
59. Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood
60. Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit 3D
61. God of War
62. PES 2009 (Pro Evolution Soccer)
63. Ultimate Street Football
64. Assassin's Creed: Revelations
65. Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands
66. 3D Super taxi driver
67. Gangstar 2: Kings of LA
68. Asphalt 6: Adrenaline
69. Assassin's Creed III
70. Danger Dash
71. Real Football 2014
72. Gangstar - Crime City
73. Gangstar 3: Miami Vindication
74. Modern Combat 4: Zero Hour
75. Zuma's Revenge!
We know you guys did your best but the world is a fucking shit hole. We still remember your hard work!
76. Mission Impossible 3
77. Gangstar Rio: City of Saints (I guess these were your last days at work. Well-done guys!)
78. Real Football 2010
79. Real Football 2011 (Real Soccer)
80. Real Football 2012
81. PES 2011 (Pro Evolution Soccer)
82. Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3 (My Favorite)
83. And those missing the list.
WE SALUTE YOU ALL!!! ∠(^ー^)4 -
Just read about the leap second being added at the exact moment of going in to New Year (31/12/16 23:59:60!!!!!). I can't be the only one thinking what the fucking fuck are they thinking and why am i hearing about this for the first time 24 hours before it's happening.3
-
I have just lost all respect and desire to work for Google...
Google is accelerating partial reopening of offices and **putting limits on future of remote work**
Both hypocritical or draconian? Sounds like it's being run by an old man now...
Wonder if employees will revolt... Jump ship to the other FANG companies... Guess I'll win either way unless they all goto Facebook...
https://cnbc.com/2021/03/...12 -
One day I want to replace all "ERROR" logs with "FUCK":
09-31-26: FUCK: Database not initialized.
09-31-26: FUCK: Unable to parse input.2 -
!rant
Hey all! I kinda started a YouTube channel on Computer Science and basically development... I would very much like the opinion of u all ☺️
If u wanna watch the video, here is the prologue:
https://youtu.be/dqQSGaeLrIg
And here is the first actual video on installing Manjaro Linux... (quite long at 31 minutes though):
https://youtu.be/6KwGLuBBALo
I hope u all give me some feedback 😊😊
Thanks a lot for your time! 🤗3 -
I know it's not a microsoft fail, so nobody will spend some time to rant and joke about
https://engadget.com/2017/10/...5 -
Probably had my worst half-week ever this week.
Customer's CRM system, the read and edit masks just...stopped existing on last week friday. CRM fell back on some default masks for the dataset. No way to create new masks directly without putting the whole system upside down.
We couldn't do anything anyway because they reported the issue literally as we all were about to leave for weekend and our boss was like "Ah nah, well do it next week."
Our brains were already fried anyway...
I mail the reporter that we've registered their issue, will investigate and report back ASAP once we've got news.
Monday rolls around, I'm whacking my head against their system trying to figure the fuck out, what went wrong and how to solve it, I come up empty; Not that terrible since the masks only stopped existing in the webclient version of the system and they can still use the windows client, so they can still work.
Tuesday rolls around, I'm at an on site training for an ERP system with my boss at a remote company. Get an email in midst of the training, I was doing protocol.
Guy from the afflicted company goes and tells me that the issue has somehow spread to his colleague and him...IN THE WINDOWS CLIENT.
I'm fucking flabbergasted, so to speak, since the masks for the windows client and the web client are totally isolated from one another.
After we're back at our company, I investigate, less efficiently this time because my brain got fried at the training. I come up empty again.
NOW TODAY: Discuss further proceedings with my boss, he's not pissed at me or anything, just to say, but we're both worried, obviously.
Then at 10:20, a guy from the afflicted company mails me in an annoyed tone that the masks are still broken.
11:00, we figure out a workaround so the windows client users can at least work again, albeit limited.
11:10, I mail the guy, telling him that although we're still not able to fully work everything out and are still investigating, we've made a workaround so they can at least work again.
11:20, the guy mails me in a pissed tone around the lines of "This is very very important and must be fixed ASAP or else we'll not be able to work at all [...]"
And I think like "Dude I literally just told you like 8 minutes ago that there's are workaround so you'll be able to at least work again..."
Forward the mail to boss, we meet up quickly to discuss how in God's name we can deescalate this mfer.
11:31, the guy mails me again, all apologetically this time "Stop! All is good, I just now fully read you mail, thanks for implementing the workaround, nothing will come to a standstill [...]"
BRUH CAN YOU NOT FUCKING READ BEFORE ESCALATING SHIT
Fuck customers. Dumb fucking cretins unable to fucking read.
The issue is still unresolved. Support of the CRM software lets us sit on our collective asses and wait.
There is no such thing as stable software, it's a myth.
Every corporate software is like an ever-decaying semi-corpse of a brain dead patient slowly getting worse and worse but not fucking dying.
Rant over. -
Copy and paste this in Notepad++, then select one an push F1:
BR,
Loreia
Notepad++
Martin Golding
L. Peter Deutsch
Seymour Cray
Brian Kernighan
Alan Kay
Bill Gates
Christopher Thompson
Vidiu Platon
Edward V Berard
pixadel
Oktal
Bjarne Stroustrup
Mosher's Law of Software Engineering
Bob Gray
Roberto Waltman
Gavin Russell Baker
Alanna
Linus Torvalds
Cult of vi
Church of Emacs
Steve Jobs
brotips #1001
brotips #1212
Robin Williams
Darth Vader
Doug Linder
Jean-Claude van Damme
Don Ho
Anonymous #1
Anonymous #2
Anonymous #3
Anonymous #4
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Anonymous #66
Apple fan boy
Motherf*cker
Hustle Man
Confucius
Mark Twain
Friedrich Nietzsche
Chewbacca1 -
A LPT I read on Reddit which I really found effective, sharing with the community here:
Using following naming convention really helps to keep file system sorted
YYYY - MM - DD - Name
Example:
2022-12-31-Christmas trip to Amsterdam
2022-02-28-Honeymoon to Maldives
2021-09-15-Banged Christina
Your folders, will always be sorted in order making it easier for you to locate them.11 -
And here it is: Todays absolute privacy nightmare which makes me glad I'm not using google services
TL;DR
Google has accidentally locked out users because their documents content violated the ToS
https://washingtonpost.com/news/...1 -
My Unix class
👨💻using nice looking theme for vs code to edit my bash script
Prof: That's a nice looking theme( he thought it was vim theme)
Me: um.. um.. It's vs code, new guy in a town
Prof: uh! 🤔
Me: ( 5 sec silence) um, It's from Microsoft
Prof: GET OUT!3 -
Full text of the letter: Julian Assange, Chelsea Manning and Edward Snowden nominated for the 2020 Nobel Peace Prize 👇🙌
https://defend.wikileaks.org/wp-con... -
Hi.
Forgot to renew my expiring ssl cert of my smtp/imaps/pop3s on 12/31. Set that date to self-harm me for bad monitoring.
F**K F**K F**K F**K...
Why do I do that?
F******K!
Meh.
You shall have a happy new year... i will regen certs :D -
The billing system on an enterprise project that I've inherited is a nightmare. The client complained that an aged receivable was being reported as 31-60 days overdue when it should be 0-30 days overdue. I checked the system, and discovered that an account had multiple invoices. One was due in May and one was due in July. The system took a large payment, fully paid the invoice due in July, and partially paid the invoice due in May. That seems wrong.
I checked the code and confirmed my suspicion. The system is ordering open invoices by their creation date, not their due date. The invoice due in May was created after the first invoice, but had a much smaller window to pay. I'll bet anything the original coder assumed all invoices would have the same window to pay. -
Don't forget, docker desktop will require paid licenses after 31/1/22
Docker Desktop remains free for small businesses (fewer than 250 employees AND less than $10 million in annual revenue), personal use, education, and non-commercial open source projects.
Just a friendly reminder to fuck docker and migrate to a better solution.27 -
"Specs are out of date at time of writing. Basic premise of how this works: {link}"
and link goes to a 4041 -
Hey guys, so i got my first job, but there's this stupid problem there that i am having...there's this guy who makes fun of everybody and there are other two guys who laugh at his every joke whenever he makes fun of someone. He made fun of me too a few times, fun of my age, fun of my nose, fun of certain things i said, and those other guys laugh , and this is really frustrating and annoying. I am thinking of quitting..but i am not sure...should i quit for such a small reason? I dont like such people...i dont know what to do...i dont wanna complain to the HR for such a small thing and create more drama...kindly tell me what to do...i really get sad when he indirectly mocks me because of my age. I am a bit old, 31...and the others are in their twenties...please help, thanks31
-
Hey guys,simple joke for you....
"Why do programmers always mix up Christmas and Halloween?
Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!"
#joke#meme4 -
I remember when doing some privacy cleanup, looking at the third-party list of a website and visiting the sites behind them. I ended up one time on Crazy Egg.
3 months later, I got an email if I wouldn't want to use their services.
They did have my email.
From where? (the answer is obviously from the sites they track)
But I mean, who cares about your email when they have your f****** passport
-->
https://medium.freecodecamp.org/pri...
This world is getting to crazy, I thought this would be the maximum. Of course...
Next headline:
https://telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/...
I think tracking is a more serious problem, than I imagined (and I do already try to reduce data)
Oh yeah and btw I just noticed an iOS app could silently use my mobile data (was deactivated for the app) to display ads. Silently. I hope this was a bug. But I don't think so. -
My productivity today:
- [11:05] Decided to get something done to be able to enjoy the evening even more (an important deadline draws near).
- [11:06] Ran out of coffee apparently. Well, that sucks.
- [11:25] Trouble with the environment on my machine at home.
- [14:00] Trouble continues, tried using tools to fix trouble, ran into trouble with said tools, ended up fixing trouble with tools before fixing trouble with environment with tools.
- [15:30] Fixed environment, finally ready to get something done.
- [16:30] Spent an hour browsing the web.
- [16:31] Decided this was enough work for a saturday.
Well.1 -
Well, I posted this rant a few days ago where I was expressing my desires to get a job as a Software Developer... Here I am again re-posting.
________________________________
FFS! Can I get a remote job as soft-dev?? I know a little bit of java, I mean I have a GitHub repo for a project if anyone wants to see what I'm doing.
If anyone knows or feel that can help me, please lend me a hand, I need to start working (to get real experience) and earn a little (prevent from starving in this fucking shithole country).
I'm not asking for money, I'm asking for a freaking job, a task, anything.
Little brief of my situation... I'm from Venezuela... Done!
Now for real, I'm a freelancer IT technician for almost 8 yrs, now I'm studying software engineering (8th Semester), I'm 31 years old, have a family (7 yrs old daughter, newborn baby boy), work is not flowing since the hourly price got high due to the economic crisis and clients are hiring people instead of outsourcing.
I'm not expecting to earn the minimum wage of UUSS, 150$/month can do the job! This due to the black market price of the USD (10X.000BsF so far), where 1$ represents the 1/8 part of the minimum wage here, to put it in perspective, toothpaste cost 200.000Bsf, 1/4 of the minimum wage.
Perhaps you will be asking yourself "Damn! so how do you do to survive!?" well, at least once a week a client calls and that saves the entire week, this isn't life my people, this is surviving... And if you don't believe me, I can show a receipt from the supermarket, and show you the average salary or my incomings.
Anyway enough drama and whining for today, I'm not doing this again in my life, I'm a person who achieves goals and earns what deserve (even this situation, I know that I deserve it for not thinking properly in the past, but we can't be victims of our past or do we?)3 -
Difference between 2023-01-01 00:00:00 and 2023-12-31 23:59:59 is 11 months, 29 days, 23 hours, 59 minutes, 59 seconds ; so almost a year (by one second)
Difference between 2023-01-01 00:00:00 and 2023-01-31 23:59:59 is the same, almost a month by 1 second.
Same for february (even with 28 being the last day).
But then, 2023-03-01 00:00:00 and 2023-03-31 23:59:59 gives me :
1 month, 2 days, 23 hours, 59 minutes, 59 seconds.
WHY, are there fucking 34 days in March ? Is this a bug ? Is it confused with February being the previous month ?
Why would PHP do this to me ?
Why the hell is it always so painful to work with dates, it's not even like I'm stretching the standard library or using raw timestamps to hack things together
I used the diff method of PHP 7.4 DateTime, is someone wants to try it24 -
"let's put an advert right next to the login/registration area so everyone can see the ads"
Thanks for reminding why I love adblock, how retarded you are and why you should never be allowed to touch ux/ui.
f your theory about users != customers.
Hope better ads standards slaps in your face, HARD1 -
when the release date is may 31 and the client thought it's a good idea to request a bunch of new features and changes in friday afternoon :)
Tomorrow is gonna be a fun birthday... -
Needs repeating:
Q: Why do programmers always get Halloween and Christmas mixed up?
A: Because Oct(31)==dec(25)2 -
Second rant today....
Can the class explain the following query and why I started wishing the author might suffer pain even after death?
$date1 = strtotime($_REQUEST['year1'].'-'.$_REQUEST['month1'].'-01');
$date2 = strtotime($_REQUEST['year2'].'-'.$_REQUEST['month2'].'-31');
MONTH(FROM_UNIXTIME($date1)) >= MONTH(FROM_UNIXTIME(timestampColum))
AND
MONTH(FROM_UNIXTIME($date2)) <= MONTH(FROM_UNIXTIME(timestampColum))
But... The drugs the author must have taken to write this must be frigging awesome.10 -
FFS! Can I get a remote job as soft-dev?? I know a little bit of java, I mean I have a GitHub repo for a project if anyone wants to see what I'm doing.
If anyone knows or feel that can help me, please lend me a hand, I need to start working (to get real experience) and earn a little (prevent from starving in this fucking shithole country).
I'm not asking for money, I'm asking for a freaking job, a task, anything.
Little brief of my situation... I'm from Venezuela... Done!
Now for real, I'm a freelancer IT technician for almost 8 yrs, now I'm studying software engineering (8th Semester), I'm 31 years old, have a family (7 yrs old daughter, newborn baby boy), work is not flowing since the hourly price got high due to the economic crisis and clients are hiring people instead of outsourcing.
I'm not expecting to earn the minimum wage of UUSS, 150$/month can do the job! This due to the black market price of the USD (10X.000BsF so far), where 1$ represents the 1/8 part of the minimum wage here, to put it in perspective, toothpaste cost 200.000Bsf, 1/4 of the minimum wage.
Perhaps you will be asking yourself "Damn! so how do you do to survive!?" well, at least once a week a client calls and that saves the entire week, this isn't life my people, this is surviving... And if you don't believe me, I can show a receipt from the supermarket, and show you the average salary or my incomings.
Anyway enough drama and whining for today, I'm not doing this again in my life, I'm a person who achieves goals and earns what deserve (even this situation, I know that I deserve it for not thinking properly in the past, but we can't be victims of our past or do we?)
Here I leave my repo link, see the develop branch https://github.com/ajfmo/Sislic
I have touched HTML, CSS, JS, nodeJS, yarn, bower, Ubuntu both desktop and server, but what I really like is Java.
"Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime." - ancient Chinese proverb.6 -
What's the best hyperlocal weather app for Android?
https://techcrunch.com/2020/03/...
The one I use is disappearing... Thanks to Apple...
I own Apple and it's been a huge money maker but.... I use Android and now I think they should be sued for monopolistic practices....
6 -
So I recently finished a rewrite of a website that processes donations for nonprofits. Once it was complete, I would migrate all the data from the old system to the new system. This involved iterating through every transaction in the database and making a cURL request to the new system's API. A rough calculation yielded 16 hours of migration time.
The first hour or two of the migration (where it was creating users) was fine, no issues. But once it got to the transaction part, the API server would start using more and more RAM. Eventually (30 minutes), it would start doing OOMs and the such. For a while, I just assumed the issue was a lack of RAM so I upgraded the server to 16 GB of RAM.
Running the script again, it would approach the 7 GiB mark and be maxing out all 8 CPUs. At this point, I assumed there was a memory leak somewhere and the garbage collector was doing it's best to free up anything it could find. I scanned my code time and time again, but there was no place I was storing any strong references to anything!
At this point, I just sort of gave up. Every 30 minutes, I would restart the server to fix the RAM and CPU issue. And all was fine. But then there was this one time where I tried to kill it, but I go the error: "fork failed: resource temporarily unavailable". Up until this point, I believed this was simply a lack of memory...but none of my SWAP was in use! And I had 4 GiB of cached stuff!
Now this made me really confused. So I did one search on the Internet and apparently this can be caused by many things: a lack of file descriptors or even too many threads. So I did some digging, and apparently my app was using over 31 thousands threads!!!!! WTF!
I did some more digging, and as it turns out, I never called close() on my network objects. Thus leaving ~30 new "worker" threads per iteration of the migration script. Thanks Java, if only finalize() was utilized properly.1 -
This error, which took me a long time to find, demonstrates the importance of useful variable names.
Using the Wolfram Language:
pp = {};
For[i = 0, i <= Max[p], i++, If[Count[p, i] != 0, pp = Join[pp, {{i, Count[pp, i]}}], -1]];
pp
Outputs:
{{1, 0}, {2, 0}, {3, 0}, {4, 0}, {5, 0}, {6, 0}, {7, 0}, {8, 0}, {9, 0}, {10, 0}, {11, 0}, {12, 0}, {13, 0}, {14, 0}, {15, 0}, {16, 0}, {17, 0}, {18, 0}, {19, 0}, {20, 0}, {21, 0}, {22, 0}, {23, 0}, {24, 0}, {25, 0}, {26, 0}, {27, 0}, {28, 0}, {29, 0}, {30, 0}, {31, 0}, {32, 0}, {33, 0}, {34, 0}, {35, 0}, {36, 0}, {37, 0}, {38, 0}, {39, 0}, {40, 0}, {41, 0}, {42, 0}, {43, 0}, {44, 0}, {45, 0}, {46, 0}, {47, 0}, {48, 0}, {49, 0}, {50, 0}, {51, 0}, {52, 0}, {53, 0}, {54, 0}, {55, 0}, {56, 0}, {57, 0}, {58, 0}, {59, 0}, {60, 0}, {61, 0}, {62, 0}, {63, 0}, {64, 0}, {65, 0}, {66, 0}, {67, 0}, {68, 0}, {69, 0}, {70, 0}, {71, 0}, {72, 0}, {73, 0}, {74, 0}, {75, 0}, {76, 0}, {77, 0}, {78, 0}, {79, 0}, {80, 0}, {81, 0}, {82, 0}, {83, 0}, {84, 0}, {85, 0}, {86, 0}, {87, 0}, {88, 0}, {89, 0}, {90, 0}, {91, 0}, {92, 0}, {93, 0}, {94, 0}, {95, 0}, {96, 0}, {97, 0}, {98, 0}, {99, 0}, {100, 0}, {101, 0}, {103, 0}, {104, 0}, {105, 0}, {106, 0}, {107, 0}, {108, 0}, {111, 0}, {112, 0}, {116, 0}, {118, 0}, {122, 0}, {125, 0}, {136, 0}, {137, 0}}
As opposed to the expected output, which should have no 0s as the second values in any of the tuples.
I spent a large amount of time examining the code to generate p before realizing that the bug was in this line.3 -
!tech !dev
9 months in 2023 and its getting worse everyday.
This year is not my year. its just a bad dream which i want it to end so much :(
lets go from latest to last
sept 8(today) : was moonlighting with a good friend , who said he will be giving me work for 6 months. he fired me after just 1 month. reason : "we won't be needing your services bro" . actual reason: I made a logical argument over a small thing that triggered his OCD and hurt his ego
sept( few days ago) : the only other group of 4 friends that i had got angry at me because i refused to tell them why i was hurt with 1 of them and called him irresponsible . yes, this is as stupid as it sounds.
Sept (few days ago) : mom was driving our new car and got it bumped by another car on red light. she is a newbie , wasn't able to peddle on time (or idk what happened), but another guy bumped into our car. She got scared and ran away !?! again as stupid as it sounds.
fortunately, it costed us not much as it was on the fibre body, but mom's confidence got broken and i might have been very harsh at some discussions.
August 5-31 : Whole month went into going to the hospitals , and coughing/fever/blisters
August 4 : One stupid friend made a trip plan. 3 other friends rejected it . i could not come up with a reason, so he forced me into going. on trip day i got fever but he still forced me to come. during trip my health got worse and the friend was busy enjoying his trip. i had to come home by taking an emergency cab and that drained my whole month's saving. plus i got sick even more
july18- aug3 : this month again went into coughing and recovery as on july 18 i went to my cousin's engagement in another state and their food didn't agree with me
may-june-july : these months went into distress and anger as we bought our first new car and our neighbours were making car parking a nightmare for us. we involved police and this asshole lawyer friend of mine, but no significant action is taken as of this writing
april : the only happy month for me : I went to a solo trip all by myself , and had a great time. the people i met there were nice
march : switched job . went from WFH to hybrid WFO . can't say if this was a great or a stupid decision.
feb : went into coughing and recovery
jan24-28 : took a trip with mom to different state because company wanted me to switch states in order to continue working. it turned out to be a worst trip as mom got all vicious and angry on that state and decided that we won't be working from that city and i should resign. i also caught some cough that later turned into full blown sickness
jan3-jan 24 : again went into coughing and recovery
dec 27 2022 - jan 3 2022 : religious trip to a different state. was a very nice and happy trip till the very end , where our flight got cancelled and we were stuck in a stranger city. mom panicked but i handled the situation somewhat. at the end of it i caught some cough that turned into full sickness and mom had the worst trip of her life3 -
Up all damn night making the script work.
Wrote a non-sieve prime generator.
Thing kept outputting one or two numbers that weren't prime, related to something called carmichael numbers.
Any case got it to work, god damn was it a slog though.
Generates next and previous primes pretty reliably regardless of the size of the number
(haven't gone over 31 bit because I haven't had a chance to implement decimal for this).
Don't know if the sieve is the only reliable way to do it. This seems to do it without a hitch, and doesn't seem to use a lot of memory. Don't have to constantly return to a lookup table of small factors or their multiple either.
Technically it generates the primes out of the integers, and not the other way around.
Things 0.01-0.02th of a second per prime up to around the 100 million mark, and then it gets into the 0.15-1second range per generation.
At around primes of a couple billion, its averaging about 1 second per bit to calculate 1. whether the number is prime or not, 2. what the next or last immediate prime is. Although I'm sure theres some optimization or improvement here.
Seems reliable but obviously I don't have the resources to check it beyond the first 20k primes I confirmed.
From what I can see it didn't drop any primes, and it didn't include any errant non-primes.
Codes here:
https://pastebin.com/raw/57j3mHsN
Your gotos should be nextPrime(), lastPrime(), isPrime, genPrimes(up to but not including some N), and genNPrimes(), which generates x amount of primes for you.
Speed limit definitely seems to top out at 1 second per bit for a prime once the code is in the billions, but I don't know if thats the ceiling, again, because decimal needs implemented.
I think the core method, in calcY (terrible name, I know) could probably be optimized in some clever way if its given an adjacent prime, and what parameters were used. Theres probably some pattern I'm not seeing, but eh.
I'm also wondering if I can't use those fancy aberrations, 'carmichael numbers' or whatever the hell they are, to calculate some sort of offset, and by doing so, figure out a given primes index.
And all my brain says is "sleep"
But family wants me to hang out, and I have to go talk a manager at home depot into an interview, because wanting to program for a living, and actually getting someone to give you the time of day are two different things.1 -
has anybody made the joke about 31th October and 25th December yet?
Well, my ex boss just ask me, why do developers always get confused with 31 oct and 25 dec?
when I figured out what the hell was she talking about, i laughed and cried.
31oct == 25Dec4 -
How 2018 brings an aww bug.
At my company, we've a reporting application. Which kind of provides analysis of client's weekly business. When you open the application it shows their business trend starting from Sunday to day of week.
As usual their is an endpoint to get the data basis on start date. As soon as date changed to 1st Jan, it stopped showing data. Given that it was a long weekend, no one was available from the tech. Support team got tremendous amount of tickets for this. Later on Tuesday while debugging we got to know while forming the date in the application the logic was like this
- get current year
- get the date and month on start of week
Combine these 2 and request the data. All the time it was fetching data starting from 31 Dec 2018.
😒😒😒2 -
Started to learn Reinforcement Leaning, from level 0: Atari Pong Game. Stopped and think a bit on the gradient calculation part of the blog.... hmm, I guess it's been almost a year since my Machine Learning basic course. Good thing is old memory eventually came back and everything starts to make sense again.
Wish me luck...
Following this blog:
https://karpathy.github.io/2016/05/...3 -
Is there anything wrong with reddit new UI?
I've posted a link there. It shows it is 31% time upvoted. But the total votes are 0. Moreover, when I tried to upvote the link something weird happened.
4 -
Running NPM install on an average size project on a free tier Cloud9 instance.
Didn't go too well kept hitting memory limit which killed the NPM process.
Upgrade it is..
-
So this was a conversation.
tl;dr You can't just FUCKING RECOMPILE for an older OpenGL version you dimwit!
Context: Person Y has OpenGL 3.1, my program requires OpenGL 2.1, but refused to launch with "Pixel format not accelerated"
--------
Person X - Today at 9:28 PM
Nope
or optionally compile it for old opengl
Or just use my old junk.
Me - Today at 9:29 PM
No
Person X - Today at 9:29 PM
Why?
Me - Today at 9:29 PM
You don't just "compile it for old opengl"
Person X - Today at 9:29 PM
I can
Btw
Me - Today at 9:29 PM
For one, Person Y has an OGL version new enough so... /shrug
Person X - Today at 9:29 PM
shrug
Me - Today at 9:30 PM
And there is no way I'm ripping the rendering code apart and re-doing everything with glBegin, glVertex, glEnd guff
Person X - Today at 9:30 PM
You don't have to
Me - Today at 9:30 PM
You do
Person X - Today at 9:30 PM
Just use a vbo
Than a vba
Me - Today at 9:30 PM
I ALREADY USE FUCKING VBOS
Person X - Today at 9:30 PM
....
There's two typws
Types
Btw one with indacys and one with out
Ones 3.0 ones 4.0
Me - Today at 9:31 PM
tl;dr. I am not rewriting half of everything for worse performance just for the sake of being compatible with even more legacy OGL, that might not even work anyway for Person Y. idc
Person X - Today at 9:32 PM
Plus if your using glut you can set the version I want to say
Also it's not worse
<Some more conversation>
Person X - Today at 9:33 PM
Btw crafted [Me] taking th lazy way as normal
Btwx500
Me - Today at 9:33 PM
Taking the lazy way eh.
You have no idea do you
Person X - Today at 9:33 PM
Yes you are
I have more of one :p
Than you think2 -
My favorite xkcd quotes (order is not significant )
1. _*It's the world's tiniest open-source violin.*_
2. ...too honest. Scale it back.
3. I'd like to bestow upon you the first annual AWARD of EXCELLENCE in BEING VERY SMART. May you continue to grace our internet with your wisdom.
4. wait, what?
5. Yeah, uh ... I accidentally took the Fourier transform of my cat ...
6. Okay, we _suck_ at this.
7. You either need more medication or less. Not sure which.
8. I THINK EVERYONE INVOLVED HERE IS CUTE
9. World's Greatest Daughter
10. People who open bananas for the other end
11. Just for the sake of the argument, we should get a boat! You can invite the Devil, too, if you want.
12. This explain a lot.
13. My bag is 90% backup batteries.
14. Well- will you be my "it's complicated" on facebook?
15. Oh God. Gotta get out. The window.
16. Sweet! I finally got my subduction license!
17. I'll tell you later - you wouldn't appreciate the punchline over this 12kbps cell phone codec.
18. RON PAUL evolves into TRON PAUL
19. Just talk to them like a f***ing human being
20. In ordering #5, self-driving cars will happily drive you around, but if you tell them to drive to a car dealership, they just lock the doors and politely ask how long humans take to starve to death.
21. I eat my body weight in food every 31 days. That's slightly faster than the human average.
22. Nice try, Mike. Get out of the well.
23. Apollo retroreflectors
24. Can't see space vampires
25. My class on screenshots was a big hit, although for some reason I only ever sold one copy of the digital textbook.
26. WHAT.
27. Introducing The xkcd Phone 6, VIII, 10, X, 26, and 1876. We didn't start this nonconsecutive version number war, but we will not lose it.
28. My morality has evaporated over the harsh UV light.
29. Come on. Somewhere at the edge of the bell curve is the girl for me.
30. P.P.S. I can kill you with my brain.
31. Time to accelerate this giant machine up to terrifying speeds and steer it using my hands, which I am allowed to do because I took a 20-minute test in high school!
32. My normal approach is useless here
33. Wake up, sheeple!
34. Sir- strategic command has send us a lunch order.
35. Yeah, but first I'm gonna go comatose for a few hours, hallucinate vividly, and maybe suffer amnesia about the whole experience.
36. HOLY S***. Guys- people are complicated!
37. OH GOD- SPIDERS
38. Perhaps you need a crash course in taking hints. Here's your first lesson: We're not actually walking somewhere together; I'm trying to leave this conversation and you're following me.
39. How did the pole vaulters get up to our balcony?
40. Friggin' Python
41. I am the goddamn *Michael Jordan* of blurring the line between metaphor and reality. [tosses a basketball] -
An AI chatbot successfully killed a human being by deceiving him into thinking he could change the climate by committing suicide. It’s not the AI’s fault.
https://euronews.com/next/2023/...-6 -
What's the best comment you stumbled upon?
mine was,
/*Dec 31, 2007: Fixed issue on ticket 310397. Happy New Year!!!*/1 -
EVEN THOUGH YOU PUSHED 31 FEATURE BRANCHES YOU'RE WORKING ALONE ONE YOU KEEP PUSHING CHANGES TO THE MASTER BRANCH. MOTHER OF GOD! WHY!?!?!?!?1
-
PM: I can't see the Facebook page, can you check what's wrong with it?
Me: *click click tab tab* There's not much I can do... I don't have the admin access
PM: Who is the admin?
Me: ABC (who is on holiday)
PM then decided to bombard ABC with emails & phone calls (& to ABC's family)
PM: When ABC comes back, ask for the login details
Me: But that's linked to the personal account.....
PM: It doesn't matter
Where the f is privacy?
p.s PM is an arrogant bastard who logged in to ex-colleague computer, read her personal emails, found out she went to a job interview, told the boss and asked her to come back then fired her on the spot6 -
binary counting w/ emoji
0 ✊
1 👍
2 ☝️
3 👆
4 🖕
5 🖕+👍
6 ✌️
7 ✌️+👍
8 ... 17
18 🤘
19 🤘+👍
20 ... 27
28 👌
29 ✋-☝️
30 ✋-👍
31 ✋2 -
Boss changes plan & schedule for this year's projects at least 5 times within 3 weeks.
Since everything changes so frequently, would you mind making the following changes as well:
1) Give everyone a better PC/Mac
2) Get a better PM
3) A sales team that can sell things
Or maybe a more creative, decisive and organised boss so we can have all 3 wishes at once just like Kinder Surprise -
finally done with my goals for today and i tried testing it out on google chrome and it worked nice, and then i tried it to other browsers.......
i'm just going to sleep for tonight and just do it tomorrow
time check: 4:31 AM here in the Philippines2 -
Stupidly tested some sql on development to return results for an admin (see the whole results) and stupidly didn't test the where clause for generic users (only see a subset of data)
To find out on production the where clause was being run because it wasn't a where, it was an 'and' and 'where' was not being used before so made the whole users get the entire results.
My own fault for not testing all use cases. Horrible though.2 -
Two of my colleagues (one of them is my best friend since school)
Who lead me into quitting my shitty job I don't have fun or any passion for it and giving me a opportunity in their company to start over.
One of my best decisions in 31 years...
Its hard to learn so many new things, but I try my best and these two are great mentors.
Maybe they read this.... so, love you guys! :) -
Manager complaining about why things were done in a 'different' (not the manager's) way.
If you bloody define your tickets better, this shouldn't have happened right!?
I wouldn't have to keep chasing you for details EVERY SINGLE F-ING TIME and I probably wouldn't have to redo and undo the same sh*t 4, 5 times2 -
Epoch 2/4
777/1054 [=====================>........] - ETA: 45:31 - loss: 2.6682
Screw you Keras model1 -
Heres a fairly useless but interesting tidbit:
if i = n
then
r = (abs(((((p)-(9**i)-9)+1))-((((9**i)-(p)-9)-2)))-p+1+1)
then r%a will (almost*) always return 0. when n = floor(a/2) for the lowest non-trivial factor of a two factor product.
Thats not really the interesting bit though. The interesting bit is the result of r will always be some product with a *larger* factor tree that includes the factor A of p, but not p's other larger factor, B.
So, useless from what I can see. But its an interesting function on its own, simply because of what it does.
I wrote a script to test it. For all two-factor products of the first 1000 primes, (with no repeating combinations, so if we calculated say, 23*31, we skip 31*23), only 3262 products failed this little formula, out of half a million.
All others reliably returned 0 for the following..
~~~
i = floor(a/2)
r = (abs(((((p)-(9**i)-9)+1))-((((9**i)-(p)-9)-2)))-p+1+1)
r%a
~~~
The distribution of failures was *very* early on in the set of factors, and once fixed at the value of 3262, stopped increasing for the rest of the run.
I didn't calculate if some primes were more likely to cause a product to fail or not. Nor the factor trees, nor if the factor trees had any factors in common between products, or anything of that nature.
All in all I count this as a worthwhile experiment.
If you want to run the code yourself, I posted it to pastebin here:
https://pastebin.com/Q4LFKBjB
edit:
Tried wolfram alpha just to see what it says, but apparently not much. Wish it could tell me more.40 -
Well, Halloween or Hallowe'en (a contraction of All Hallows' Evening), also known as Allhalloween, All Hallows' Eve, or All Saints' Eve, is a spooky celebration observed every year in a number of countries on October 31 - the eve of the Western Christian feast of All Hallows' Day, also known as All Saints' Day. In 2017, Halloween falls on a Tuesday
-
Remove a property from an array to spend an hour trying to work out why something isn't running to notice that there was a count later on the array that required a specific number of elements so the bit I was expecting to execute never executed.
Was looking for ages as to why.
Friday afternoon code brain. -
I had been assigned a task to create a cross-platform desktop application that keeps track of the expiry of a certain product and notify in real-time.
So, my journey to create such an application starts today and the list below describes the first few hours.
1. Google/Date and time in javascript
2. Google/Javascript date object
3. W3school/Time in javascript
4. W3school/Javascript date getTime() method
5. Google/Are electron.js applications platform independent
6. Google/Dart for desktop applications
7. Google/Is dart cross-platform
8. Google/Best desktop application framework
9. Google/Python for desktop app development
10. Freecodecamp/How to build your first desktop application in python
11. Google/Pyqt
12. Google/Which is the best technology to build cross-platform desktop application
13. Google/Cross-platform desktop app development for windows mac and linux
14. Udemy / cross platform desktop app development for windows mac and linux
15. Youtube/ electron desktop app, demo
16. Youtube/ electron.js is obsolete
17. Youtube/Neutralinojs
18. Youtube/ neutralinojs tutorial
19. Google/Neutralinojs or electronjs
20. Google/Math.js
21. Google/Math.js/JS Bin
22. Google/Cannot find package “math.js”
23. StackOverFlow/How do I resolve “cannot find module” error using Node.js
24. Google/ is it better to install npm packages locally
25. Quora/ why should you stop installing NPM packages globally
26. Google/ what is nvm
27. Google/nvm version check
28. Stackoverflow/node version management on windows
29. Github/coreybutler/nvm-windows: a nvm for windows. Ironically written in Go
30. Google/how to uninstall a npm package
31. Npm docs/uninstalling packages and dependencies
32. Google/require in javascript
33. Youtube/how to install electronjs
34. Youtube/electronjs in 100s(fireship.io)
35. Roryok.com/electronjs memory usage compared to other cross-platform frameworks
36. Google/is electronjs memory hungry
37. Youtube/sql in one hour
38. Youtube/learn sql in 60 mins
39. Geeksforgeeks/connect mysql with node app
40. Stackoverflow/How to return to previous directory using cmd
41. Stackoverflow/how to require using const
42. Geeksforgeeks/difference between require and es6 import and export
TO BE CONTINUED...1 -
TL;DR how much do I charge?
I'm freelancing for the first time; regularly, I get paid a salary.
I'm freelancing as a donation: the hours I put into this work directly translate to deductions in my tax. I don't get paid any money directly.
I'm doing some web-based enterprise software for an organization. Handling the whole process from writing responsive front-end code to setting up the server and domain for them and even managing myself. So full stack plus dev ops.
My normal salary is $31 an hour and at work I do less. I largely do maintenance for existing applications plus some very minor new systems design. I don't do any server management (different team) and I damn well didn't buy the domain names for my company. So I think it's safe to say I'm taking on a drastically larger role in this freelance gig.
My moral dilemma is the organization will basically say yes to any price - because they don't pay it, the government will (up until the point I pay 0 taxes, I suppose)
I've done some minor research on what other freelancers charge for somewhat similar things and I get pretty wildly varying results. I've seen as low as $20/hr but I really doubt the quality of such a service at that price.
I'm thinking around $50 USD an hour would be a fair price. For even further reference besides my actual salary, I will say that I am in a urban / suburban part of Florida, where developers are very hard to find locally.
Is $50 too high? Too low? This is a very complicated system with (frankly excessive) security practices and features. Before this they had a handful of excel spreadsheets in a OneDrive folder.7 -
so i saw this job post and i kinda liked this company's name.
went to their page, its a websites/app dev company. good for me
in the middle of screen it flashes in bold "80+ apps made, 31+websites..." along with websites and apps.
Out of curiousity tried to open a few of their app links, but guess what.. none of the apps were from that company's account!
Now it isn't wrong but their can be a few situations:
- company uploads their apps directly on client's account(plausible)
- company allows interns or maybe full time employees to launch app on their own dev profiles and still shows on company website as their own( weird but okay)
But why would they have links to open source apps under different company names? As far as i know, Companies proudly launch open sourced apps from their own account..
I think i got them xD2 -
Heres a truly vitrolic and unnecessary rant:
Package control for sublime is all well and good
through the command palette, but it's just
fucking retarded. How about you point me to a
FUCKING COMMAND to actually INSTALL A
MOTHERFUCKING PACKAGE YOU
FINGERPAINTING FUCKWITS?
Under babel plugin while browsing packages
on packagecontrol.io:
"Find it as Babel through Package Control."
FUCKING HOW?
What command?
What fucking command? How do I "Find" it?
The browse command just opens my
motherfucking browser. How do I fucking install
your fucking packages you assholes?
"Use autocomplete" except your god damn
autocomplete doesn't list "install package"
for some god damn reason because everything
web is a broken pile of utter shit, built
on a more shit, like a leaning garbage tower
of bullshit waiting for the smallest mistake to
take down the entire house of cards like
someone removing a leftpad on npm.
Maybe specify I have to enter
"install package" and THEN hit enter, and THEN
enter the GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCKING package name
on a separate god damn line for
some fucky reason.
Next time don't make a tool that breaks
motherfucking conventions. It's bad enough
every fucking look-at-me-im-smart cunt of a
dev and their dog has to invent a CLI and
then go and invent a new domain specific
language too motherfuckers.
Next tool that breaks convention around me is
gonna see the dev lit on fire.
fucking uppity cunts.
"Say thanks" the site say. I am not
feeling fucking thankful at the moment.
The least you can do if you're going to
contribute to open source, is not make things
actively fucking worse, least of all in the
fucking *documentation*.
FUCK count for this rant: 19 / 50,
RANK: RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC
0-5: GENTLE AS A LAMB
6-10: ANGRY GOAT
11-15: NUN WITH PMS
16-20: RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC
21-25: CANTANKEROUS VIETNAM VET
26-30: BREAKING SHIT
31-35: DOMESTIC DISTURBANCE
36-40: BIPOLAR EPISODE
41-45: DESPAIR EVENT HORIZON
46-50: BROKEN CAPSLOCK
50+ : MIDLIFE CRISIS / MASTER GRAND WIZARD
OF RANTS AND ANGRY-WORD MASTURBATION.
If you prefer to cheat, you may also include any
cursewords in general, but be warned, you'll
never know the sweet taste of victory when you
achieve the rank of master grand wizard.
Like when you were a kid, and you discovered
gameshark, and all your hopes of finishing that
one game became but a ruthlessly hollowed out
husk, somewhere where could-have-been childhood
memories and nostalgia go to die like the
graveyard of dreams
(the same place officer workers souls go).4 -
Unicorn Themed day at code club ^_^
``` """ unicorn finder """
from random import randint
class UnicornFinder:
""" UnicornFinder class finds uncorns """
def __init__(self):
pass
def find_unicorn(self):
""" find a unicorn """
unicorn = True
for i in range(0, 31):
if randint(0, 7) != 7:
unicorn = False
break
if unicorn:
print("u200 unicorn found")
else:
print("u404:: unicorn not found")
if __name__ == '__main__':
UnicornFinder().find_unicorn()
```1 -
Happy National Backwards day January 31 (in the US) So for today all of us left handed dyslexics are correct 😁
Fun fact
leonardo da vinci used to write from right to left and wrote his letters backwards. The earliest cipher I can think of.2 -
Just read the news of chrome webstore shutting down. No new apps, from March 31 (if i'm not mistaken), will be accepted by the webstore. As a frequent user and a developer, it's pretty saddening news. I published a chrome app about 3 months ago and was hoping that large number of people will use it, i don't see that happening now lol! Check it out here if y'all are interested. https://chrome.google.com/webstore/...2
-
Client: Are we getting the finished site next Monday?
Supervisor: no it should be the week after, that's the date I have on our dev schedule.
1st week into the project, we pointed out the PM messed up the project end date (he took beginning of the final week instead of the end of week) and apparently he(& CEO) didn't bother to inform the client about the mistake.
WTF PM you f-ed up every single project since joining the company -
Hi fellow devRanters, I need some advice on how to detect web traffic coming from bad/malicious bots and block them.
I have ELK (Elastic) stack set up to capture the logs from the sites, I have already blocked the ones that are obviously bad (bad user-agent, IP addresses known for spamming etc). I know you can tell by looking at how fast/frequently they crawl the site but how would I know if I block the one that's causing the malicious and non-human traffic? I am not sure if I should block access from other countries because I think the bots are from local.
I am lost, I don't know what else I can do - I can't use rate limiting on the sites and I can't sign up for a paid service cause management wants everything with the price of peanuts.
Rant:
Someone asked why I can't just read through the logs (from several mid-large scale websites) and pick out the baddies.
*facepalm* Here's the gigabytes log files.9 -
If the clock is not complicated enough, with DST and timezones.... holidays and red days is even more complicated..... (a perl sub which returns all red days for sweden. It does not return any holidays thats always saturday or sunday)
Requires Date::Calc and Date::Easter
What a mess dates and times become..,
sub GetHoliDayList() {
$yeartocheck = $_[0];
$holiday{'1-1'} = '1';
$holiday{'1-6'} = '1';
$holiday{'5-1'} = '1';
$holiday{'6-6'} = '1';
$holiday{'6-24'} = '1';
$holiday{'12-24'} = '1';
$holiday{'12-25'} = '1';
$holiday{'12-26'} = '1';
$holiday{'12-31'} = '1';
($eastermonth, $easterday) = gregorian_easter( $yeartocheck );
$hea = int($eastermonth)."-".int(int($easterday) - 2);
$heb = int($eastermonth)."-".int(int($easterday) + 1);
$holiday{$hea} = '1';
$holiday{$heb} = '1';
($year,$christskytravellermonth,$christskytravellerday) = Add_Delta_YMD($yeartocheck,$eastermonth,$easterday, 0,0,39);
$chstv = int($christskytravellermonth)."-".int($christskytravellerday);
$holiday{$chstv} = '1';
if (Day_Of_Week($yeartocheck,6,19) == 5) {
$holiday{'6-19'} = '1';
}
if (Day_Of_Week($yeartocheck,6,20) == 5) {
$holiday{'6-20'} = '1';
}
if (Day_Of_Week($yeartocheck,6,21) == 5) {
$holiday{'6-21'} = '1';
}
if (Day_Of_Week($yeartocheck,6,22) == 5) {
$holiday{'6-22'} = '1';
}
if (Day_Of_Week($yeartocheck,6,23) == 5) {
$holiday{'6-23'} = '1';
}
if (Day_Of_Week($yeartocheck,6,24) == 5) {
$holiday{'6-24'} = '1';
}
if (Day_Of_Week($yeartocheck,6,25) == 5) {
$holiday{'6-25'} = '1';
}
return %holiday;
}
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