Client: There is a high severity production issue.. you need to fix urgently..

Developer: I am on the way.. Will fix it once I reach home.

Client: I don't care where you are. Fix it right now😡😡

Developer

🎶 He's making a list
He's testing it twice
SELECT * FROM users WHERE behavior="nice"
SQL-clause is coming
To town. 🎶

Me : "Hey, I can't find the comments.js file, do you know where it is stored?"
Co-worker : "Yep, look in the CSS folder"
Me : "OK, thanks!"

5 seconds later..

Me : "Wait, what?"

After months of agonizing work I found out my team mate deleted my code cause they thought it was useless. Then they come back and ask if I KNOW WHERE THE BUG IS. I now realize how true this is.

Mail from client: There is a bug in project.
Me: mmmmkay where is it?
Client: How shitty developer you are! You should find it.
Me:f*ck you i'm out

I must say, this is the only "social network" where I actually post stuff and also enjoy doing it

Thanks @dfox

CSS is like #03
(repost, forgot image last time xD)

This is where it all began. :)

Her: what app is that?
Me: devRant. It's where devs go to complain about things only we'll understand and just talk nerdy to each other.
Her: So where you and your people go to be yourselves?
Me: Basically, yeah.
Her: I thought that was Twitter.
Me: It was, now it's this.
Her: Then what's Twitter for?
Me: ...news?

*Gets out of bed*
"Where the fuck is my phone?"
*Aggressively yanks covers off bed*
*Thud*
"Found it" :)

Try not to use floating point numbers in places where precision is important. Like for instance, money. Always store the base value where it makes the most sense

Python is so ridiculously easy and fast to write, I'm just waiting for the release where you just say:

def main():
make_program("RegExParser", "fast", "fancy")

And that's it...

Got invited to a "roundtable", where we will discuss email security and the future and direction of where it is going.
Only 10 people in Sweden got a chair

I feel exclusive but also scared that they will find out what a noob I am lol

He's making a list
He's testing it twice
SELECT * FROM users WHERE behavior="nice"
SQL-clause is coming
To town.

Credit to @leeflower on Twitter

Collegue *yells through the office*:
Hey IT-guy the file is not there, where is it ?

Me: what file is not where ?

Collegue: you know that file i've been searching for 30 mins now on the Google drive.

Me: Have you tried hitting the name into the search bar ?

Collegue: Sure dude, I'm not stupid.

Me -> *one the way to her desk*
Collegue: OH! never mind I found it with the search bar. I swear it hasn't been there before!

*turning around, going back to my desk*
-fml

where is it

The office toilet chronicles - episode 2

Someone here has a fucking sprinkler where they should have a penis. Is it so hard to aim? Or fucking sit?

Welcome To IT.

Where the study is harder than the job.

I've been wanting a thing where you can upload a file through a post request (api style), get a download link which allows for one download only (after the file gets downloaded it is removed) and be done.

Couldn't find one so quicky, decided to write one myself.

Two hours later I've got a functioning first version, this is the first time ever where I genuinely wrote a system I needed quickly within a few fucking hours and it actually works O_o

I just set up a Win10 VM. We have now officially reached the point where it is easier to install Linux than Windows.

Today we moved to a new office in the next building.

It is a very big upgrade, since it is bigger and nicer.

So I ask where the bathroom is and go in the direction told, and the bathroom is so nice! Huge mirror, everything is clean and new.

On the way out I find that it was the girls bathroom....

!rant
Dream Interview
-recruiter. Where is the 2nd page of your letter of application?
-me you now can get it as a DLC for Just 4.99!
-recruiter you're hired, welcome to EA Games!

Fucking developers putting emojis in their code!

My terminal (st) doesn't support displaying emojis and it crashes immediately once it read an emoji. I have been chasing crashing bugs for weeks and I just found out where the issue is.

println("Hello World");
This is where it all began. 🤘

This is where it began

Thought i knew JavaScript, the truth is i dont, and got a job where it requires only pure JavaScript 😭

I did it! I FUCKING DID IT! I got the new job, where I am paid better and won't get abused! The culture is better, pay is better!

My struggle now! Do I do finger guns to my current boss after telling him? I hate that asshole.

devRant is the only app where I closed the app went to the app store and gave it 5 stars

IT: The only place where killing parents and children is acceptable.

It's not much, but this is where I code and I love it! Better cluttered than empty...

Pranked the people working in my office by including fartscroll.js which (you guessed it) plays fart sounds on our website, internally.
It was amazing hearing random farts in the office when people have their sound maximum and don't know where it is coming from!

git blame

More like
git whose line is it anyway

Where commit messages are made up and the branches don't matter

So, is this where developers come to complain about everything and everybody? I love it

I fucking hate it. Clients writing impolite emails about bugs I didn't make without telling where this fucking bug is and demanding it to be fixed yesterday.

me: oh you can add a where clause to filter xxx out with your group by.

arrogant junior: whuuut? you can use where clause with group by ? No u can't!

me: err... yes you can...

arrogant junior: NO!!!! No it doesn't work that way!

me : okay okay... fine ...

**30 mins later**

i see a where clause in the sql statement lol...I don't know why this person is always so pissed and fierce lol

He’s making a database
He’s sorting it twice
SELECT * from contacts WHERE behaviour = ‘nice’
SQL clause is coming to town

Didn't it take us years to stop writing javascript and html embedded? Is it just me or are we going back where we started? It's all a mix now!

I have reached the point where my main project with my arduino collection is building a sex robot and i dont even feel the least bit ashamed about it.

New iPhone user: Where do I download WhatsApp on this phone?

Me: From the AppStore.

New iPhone user: I have to go a "store" to download apps?

Me: No, the AppStore is an app on your phone to download apps to your phone.

New iPhone user: Where is it?

Me: By default, it's on your main home screen.

New iPhone user: But I'm not at home.

Me: *face palm*

Just read a forum thread where someone uses an excel spreadsheet as their database for a PHP website. What makes it worse is they have done this for the past 12 years.

Is this real or someone taking the piss?

The irony with refactoring is that it is easiest where it's least required.

Dear Apple, fuck you for the iPad pro, it is probably the hardest device to do web design in mind.

It is at that point where it's screen is technically declared laptop size but just too big for being declared tablet...

Fuck you...

Have I? You're asking me?

I have no fucking clue Lync, I don't see anything. Why don't you tell me if I have ... and then where it is!

A fitness guy was walking and dropped his credit card.

I grabbed it and ran up to him to give it back.

He jumped like a scared rabbit and said rudely, "you scared the shit out of me", took the card back and walked off without even a thank you.

So much for Canadian politeness.

Just about to start a milestone presentation, when suddenly the boss froze and yelled:

"Wait! Don't move! There is a bug, let me take it back to nature where it belongs..."

*Grabs a bug on my shoulder and carries it to the window*

It's 2017 and I still didn't find a tutorial where the writer is aware of the difference between "its" and "it's".

Let's repeat it again:
it's != its

Sooooo my mother just put a small magnet on top of my laptop. And right on top of where the HDD is.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Hopefully no damage done since it was a weak magnet :(

The description of my company should be, "where 9 people can make a baby in 1 month, but it is going to be one ugly fuck"

I guess the best feature of devRant is that the homepage, where we see all the rants, does not show who posted each rant. It just shows the rants. That's it. Great to see the app is "rant centric" and not "user centric".

chaosbot/chaos github repo looks like a London underground map.

Also, if you haven't seen this yet, it is a new project where code is updated by the community democratically.

Go give it a devrant hug of death.

Why are clients so ignorant and stupid?!

Send them the software with specific instructions WHERE to install it. Location is important as it is a plugin for AutoCAD.

First mail with complains about the plugin doesn't work. Find out (in the mail they sent internal) that they installed the plugin somewhere else than I instructed them.

Sent an email back with (again) an explanation why it doesn't work and where to install the plugin.

Email from client: So I put the plugin here [incomplete and invalid location] and create the last folder myself...

FOR FUCK SAKE SRUPID ASS IGNORANT DOWN SYNDROM (sorry folks) MOFO CLIENT!!!!
I SENT YOU UP TO 3 TIMES WHERE TO PUT THE GODDAMNED PLUGIN!

When you have a huge project, and encounter a bug, but don't know where it is, and why it is happening...

Oh god, where to start? It is my job to fight against devs that likes to breaks RFC, do stuff stupidly or just do not actually know how stuff works

I hate it when I ask the customer where did they test it or where the error is.. On test or on production? And the answer is yes. O.o

Commas.
I fix one display, and another breaks.

Now I’m getting “$$1002.99” and can’t figure out why. Where is this popup coming from? Where does the encrypted URL point to? What does this ajax call do? Where does the amount go? When does it change? Why is it a string now? Where does the total get defined? How far down the rabbit hole do I need to go?

Short short version:

I found something to try fixing. I made some changes, forced a crash to inspect, and… Joy! My log stopped updating. How long have I been debugging on stale data?

Skipping a long debugging session…

I discover a suspect instance var in a suspect method, and… i have no freaking clue where it’s being defined. It’s used in the class, but never defined in it. Oh, and the name is pretty generic, so searching for it is even more fun.

Just.
Qxfrfjkalstf.

WHO WRITES THIS CRAP?!
AND WHY DO PEOPLE CALL THEM “LEGENDS”? Like, really. That’s the word they use. “Legends.” I still can’t believe it.

Sometimes I just hit a "developer's block", when I'm just blankly staring at my screen wondering where did I start and how did I end up here!?
It is hell frustrating!!!

I hate Laravel.

Every time I want to implement something it is already part of the laravel framework and does work better than I can ever imagine. Where is my struggle?!

My Friend: putt all the code into one huge file
Me: hey, there is an issue
Friend: go fix it by yourself
Me: Where is it
Friend: Don't know
There weren't even comments 😡

C++ errors in a nutshell

(The pics is from my college computer lab where it takes us forever to get a proper output )

(Maybe it's we who suck) xD

I feel like my legacy has begun. I hear people using a notation description that I think that I invented.

When one does port mapping in commands it is like this: 5432:5432. Nobody remembers which port comes first unless they the command a lot. I confidently referred to it as "reverse cotton eyed joe notation" in a meeting.

"Where do you go? Where do you come from Cotton eyed joe?"

Windows: The only OS where downloading the zip is faster than extracting it.

boss: *showing me the new platform*
me: "oh that looks like a good demo"
boss: "ah no that's the product! we're going to put this live"
me: "wh... there's no update nor delete function for anything! where is the user profile? where are the menus??"
boss: "that's ok, we'll take note when people start using it"

and now

boss: "we've concluded the product was bad and we're giving up on it"

Coding lessons 101, it shouldn't be that fucking hard to understand what a pointer is but that's where we currently stand

Have you seen the new Amazon tracking system?
It shows where the package is if it is 10 stop away. (I think 10 stops)

Now I don't have to stay at the door and freeze my balls.

Now I can see from my screen. :D

Read source code and unit tests. Don’t bother documentation cause it’s outdated. Dig into the core, look where data goes in and where it gets out. Everything else is just a wrapper.

The laziest habit is just switching between different tabs on the IDE in the morning to figure out where to start. It can take from anywhere between 15 minutes to an hour.

When you've been studying development for 5 years and a teacher explain to the class what a curly bracket is and where to find it on the keyboard...

My desk is organized for me. I know where everything is. You don't need to understand my desk because you don't sit at it for 8 hours a day.

Why do employers lie during interviews!? Because they can get away with it?

This is my second job after graduating where the job was falsely advertised and misrepresented. I absolutely hate this, it hurts people's careers.

Actually finding a job where this is true AND ALSO get paid fairly for it.

"PHP does not need good practices, because the use of PHP it is already a good practice". This is one of the loading messages in the Slack where I work.

PS: We do not use PHP there.

Difference between computing and IT: Computing is beautiful, one of the greatest achievements of mankind. IT is a nightmare where everyone sells the exorcism to a new devil of their own making.

i find it interesting that the intent when this app was created was probably to let people rant about bugs and stupid errors, post dev memes, and it has evolved to a point where we hear a lot of rants related to the work environment. my guess is that the rest of the internet is so visible and damning that this became a safe space where we can discuss work relations with less fear.

i love that the community here is so supportive in these matters :)

Years ago, we were setting up an architecture where we fetch certain data as-is and throw it in CosmosDb. Then we run a daily background job to aggregate and store it as structured data.
The problem is the volume. The calculation step is so intense that it will bring down the host machine, and the insert step will bring down the database in a manner where it takes 30 min or more to become accessible again.

Accommodating for this would need a fundamental change in our setup. Maybe rewriting the queries, data structure, containerizing it for auto scaling, whatever. Back then, this wasn't on the table due to time constraints and, nobody wanted to be the person to open that Pandora's box of turning things upside down when it "basically works".

So the hotfix was to do a 1 second threadsleep for every iteration where needed. It makes the job take upwards of 12 hours where - if the system could endure it - it would normally take a couple minutes.

The solution has grown around this behavior ever since, making it even harder to properly fix now. Whenever there is a new team member there is this ritual of explaining this behavior to them, then discussing solutions until they realize how big of a change it would be, and concluding that it needs to be done, but...

not right now.

This is the funniest fucking IT meme I’ve ever seen. It’s on par with that meme where anon gets hired to Pulseaudio, and the whole dialog is just empty speech bubbles

Companies that create APIs and then update them but fail to update the documentation, to a point where the syntax doesn't even remotely resemble how it originally was, or even give the location of where the new endpoint is.
WHY MUST YOU MAKE MY LIFE HELL

Is there a specific reason your company is called 'Hexical Labs'? If so, could you share the story of where it comes from?

life is like a rubics cube. everything is twisted and fucked up and you cannot see where it will take you but somehow at the end everything will fall into place and make sense.

When is the point where you aren't allowed to touch your own AI anymore?

When it's capable of speech?
When it shows emotions?
When it becomes self aware?

When does it stop being file deletion and start becoming murder?

made a prototype and showed the demo to clients. They asked me where it was stored and how to access to the code. Told them where it was stored was was a trial and it has expired. Asked me why I didn't pay the subscription. Also asked me if I could send them the code, for them to "try using it" and "implement it in their office". Told them if they wanted to use the program, it needs to be done again (since this is a prototype). 3 days now, no sounds from the client.

Just got my raspberry pi, installed lubuntu, openssh and sshed into it.
Adjusting to command line only and ubuntu is hard.

I dont know where everything is located and how to get stuff done.

But I will keep on trucking till I figure it out!!

OK Google.... guess we'll play it the hard way....

I'll just upload all videos i want transcribed onto Youtube in smaller (10 minute?) chunks where machine transcribe is enabled...

Client: "This is where the projector hooks up to a computer right?"

Me: "Yeah"

Client: "Awesome can it hook up to a laptop?"

Literally spent the whole day debugging a race condition that only showed up in the release build. Resolved it with a Sleep(0).

Where is my beer.

Always write your code like the person who will maintain it is an axe murderer who knows where you live.

Been using Snapchat for a while.
But yesterday I uninstalled it. Since morning, while using YouTube, I've been getting advertisements to install Snapchat. Where is the privacy?

It is amazing how "we should be working on X instead of Y" can mutate into a situation where "we are working on X as well as Y"

So, our team got a new dart board. Not the magnetic one, the wooden one with sharp darts.
Now, we all are wondering where should we place it, so that it is safe for everyone.

Hey there! New here. Just found this app and it seems pretty cool so far! Where is everyone from? I'm Janelle from NYC.

Is it too much to ask for a job where my boss is not an asshole?

> laravel
> but also trans
> inside the fucking routes

Ok this is it that's where I cry

Dilbert no longer lets me leech their comics from their site... It was a good... 10 years?

Seems I need to rebuild my Downloader... using Selenium.

Now...where is that project where i used Selenium...

Scenario A:
Your code is working. You run again, now it's not working.

Scenario B:
Works on production. Next day it doesn't.

It is nothing you just experienced alternate universe. You probably with your manager temporarily jumped into another timeline where your code is not working.

Next time it happens tell your manager it's not your fault.

Eureka!

Hey !
I just discovered an app called Shell Launcher, which is a launcher, where you type commands to do tasks :D
I really love it, i feel like a Hacker.
ԅ(¯﹃¯ԅ)

tfw you code without building for an extended amount of time and it just works. Where is it? Where is that damn problem that you know is there?

Is it just me or do other people think those tutorials you run across on YouTube where it is just a screen recording and background music are super annoying. I would like at least a little explanation other than you typing in notepad.

Things nobody asked for: Yet another Slack redesign.

FFS keep the design stable, I like to remember where shit is. Stop moving it around every three months.

I think IT is one the few professions where if someone can’t make it in the lower ranks, they’re quickly considered for management.

At the moment I'm working on a project where every line of code is actually garbage. However, the client insists on continuing to use ZF1.

Zend_Locale is a mess. I've been sitting on it for five hours and nothing's working.

"Where are we going", spotify? When searching for a song, and there is more than 1 match, including same songs on different greatest hits albums, remastered versions, but also remixes, it would be helpful to indicate the differences in any way, instead of ellipses and 6x redundant same line: "Song. Marvin Gaye" - "Where Are We Going? - A..."

This is hands-down the worst codebase I've ever touched. 50% laziness, 50% poorly-conceived alterations to business logic. One of those where if it isn't throwing an error, you DON'T TOUCH IT.

This Safari Bug is sooo bad, really hard to find it. (It initializes new variables with the element where id and variable name is the same, why?)

Out of no where, i remembered the day when i introduced an android phone to my mother.

The first thing she asked was , "Where is the 'touch' in it on which every body is losing his mind?"

Is it normal for productivity to wildly fluctuate from one week, or even one day, to the next? There are days where I hardly get a couple of hours of real work in and others where it's eight hours straight, and I find it hard to "justify" to myself why the former happens if I'm capable of the latter.

Welcome to Whose Sprint Is It Anyway, where the estimates are made up and the story points don’t matter!

New to programming but I want to create my portfolio, any tips? Where should I host it? WordPress is good for this or better write whole code?

I think the textbox (where I am writing right now) should be scrollable. And also the half of the screen is unusable.
Please fix it.

It is said that you should use the language appropriate for the task. Does anyone have any real life examples where the wrong language was chosen and why?

Removing the CMOS baterry to reset bios is like when you wake up on the hospital bed and you are asking everyone, "who I'm I?", " where I'm I?", "who are you?", "when is today?", "what time is it?".

Working on modifying a legacy web project and just about every single element is `position: absolute` with crazy z-index juggling and hard-coded pixel sizes and positions everywhere 😭

To make it even worse, a bunch of the javascript will also change elements sizes and positions so it takes forever to track down why an element is where it is

Apparently we're playing musical chairs at work... I work from home for one day and now my chair is missing. If you borrow a chair put it back where you found it. It's common courtesy.

"Where do I find the Ctrl key ?"
"What is TAB ?"
"CTRL-ALT-DEL. What is that? Where Do I find it?"

P.S. These people are my classmates and some others I know...

when other than IT people use linux first time on your computer and ask u where is "START" button and where is "My Computer "

Do you ever feel like your mind has entered this "hyper" mode where you feel like your mind is in overdrive? Like you're processing several thoughts in your head at once, and that leaves you in a state where you can't get anything done?

It happens to me like once a week and boy is it satisfying when it goes away and I can feel my head cool down.

What time it is where you are?

when i share my ideas on automation with solutions where the company and the customer have profit and the answer is "why does that concern you? we've been doing it this way for 50 years and it works"
-.-'

I find lately my biggest challenge as a developer is sticking with one editor. Currently it is a battle between Sublime Text 3 and Atom. Not a battle where I switch every few days. This is a battle where I find myself switching at least once a day for no real reason.

Have you ever wondered why !important is even working? Imagine this:

element {
color: #FF0000 !important;
}

It literally means the red color is NOT IMPORTANT. And this overwrites previous CSS rules such as in this example, previous element.color. Like seriously, where is the logic here? :D

Overheard PHP developer say: "I don't like Node.js, it should be more like PHP where everything is async."

Why is American culture so money-centric?
Instead of “he's not believing me” they say “he's not buying it”. Also, “put your money where your mouth is” and “don't let your mouth write checks your ass can't cash.”

My laptop decided to not turn on or charge anymore in times where I needed it a lot and when repairment funding is not the best. Thank you, universe

Any tips on landing entry level dev job while in the process of getting CS degree? not internship, actual full time job.

How/where to start and is it possible?

Is it even possible to get good enough at regular expressions where you can just write it and you don't have to search stackoverflow for one that works?

"Advertising is the one industry where all the experts seem to be the people who don’t work in it." - William Childs

Im off of 3 hours sleep right now after getting lost down the rabbit hole of debugging.

I was just putting stock on the shelves at my job and a customer came up to me and asked me where something was. I thought of two places it could be so i said:

"if item == aisle4
{print("You've found it"); }
else if item == aisle6
{print("You've found it"); }
else
{print ("Im unsure where it is sorry"); }"

She just looked at me and my coworker told her where the item was, once she left my coworker started laughing at me and called me the biggest nerd he knew.

Is there a scientific term for *that* window of time where you feel totally unproductive before or after a call/standup? How long is it for you?

What do you guys think about mercurial (hg)?

I think it has no place in a world where git exists and I prefer git.

Just wondering what the general sentiment is

Every time I assign the tasks to my subordinate. He always tells me that it's too hard to understand or make it done. Where is his endeavor?

!rant

What direction would you guys like to see devRant going in. I personally like it as it is, a place where developers can rant, share jokes (but not memes), share their thoughts, etc etc. But I know some people want it to go in more of a SO direction, where it's just another serious questions board. What do you guys think?

One coffee down and my eyes are just glazing over my code and wondering... right... what is it I gotta do now ... ? What day is it ... Where am I ...

My dream project is to build my own analytics system and project on monitors which basically says everything live users on site, what every user is doing... where my site is failing etc...

Fortunately I'm solely working on it and implementing in the company I work. So, in couple of months it is going to be realistic.

#awesome #analytics

What to do when you think a junior is working hard, you're generally happy with quality, but speed is way below where it needs to be?

Saw a user session where user put in email address in card billing address. Is the UX bad or just a single stupid user, since this is the first time it happened.

Hello?
> dear sir, we have found your pc is infected!
Oh dear, where?
> no, no sir. Not where, your private pc has a virus.
ohh, okay. Thank you. Now that you know can you tell me where it is, I mean the IP I cannot find it!
*hangs up*
dammit then where did I put that PC?

Diekfak's law states that a scooter will always be parked in the most obstructing and lazy spot within 4 meters of where it is parked.

I drop a pile from top of my head. Don’t bother to read.

About release:
When is release ? ( discussed 2 minutes ago )
Who will release ? ( there is always same person doing it )
What was added ?
What information add to clients about release ? ( it was always the same )

About bugs and features:
There is this bug.... ( without specifying)
It doesn’t work. ( there are 3 environments )
Is this ok ? ( clicking randomly )
Is this bug fixed ? ( without specifying )
Where is this feature ? ( while looking at webpage with feature )
How to use this ? ( not specifying what )
Where ? ( while clicking randomly )
When ? ( while scrolling calendar )
Why ? ( still clicking )
Where to click ? ( what I am doing here ? )

About meetings:
When is meeting ?
Where is meeting ?
Why we’re meeting?
Who will be there ? ( information in calendar )

I heard all of them at least once per month. Now I’m recovering at home and my friends are asking why I’m tired.

Programmers also have where is waldo game. But it is called where is my effin semicolon.

Usually spyware had to be installed maliciously or without the victim knowing, but nowadays people fucking use it voluntarily WTF. Bitmoji you fucktwit. Everyone sees where you are, what music you listen to and the users (at least the ones I know) even promote it like it is something good

wat is up with people

It is now apparent to me that I need to work in an environment where managers empower their development team to choose the correct tools and processes for the job.

"Warning: Functions are not valid as a React child. This may happen if you return a Component instead of <Component /> from render. Or maybe you meant to call this function rather than return it."

WHERE. TELL ME WHERE THE FUCK THE PROBLEM IS HAPPENING. OR SHUT THE FUCK UP.

If I made an app where you keep password hints so you can remember the password yourself, is it fair to say the encryption is your memory?

I never thought I'd reach a point where I use High Contrast theme for development O_O
Was always a user of dark theme, but now VS Code is on High Contrast and it is comfortable af but ugly af also :\

I understand the muggles on Facebook saying it was Apple and Amazon that were hacked, but here on devrant where people know WTF is up, I'm still not seeing people say where the hack actually took place, and what makes the news truly terrifying: SMC.

Hate those bugs, where you stumble upon a fix but have no idea why it fixes it or what is causing the bug!

is it bad that it's 3am and the best thing to happen since I woke up yesterday morning is 3 word story on here and I'm staying awake to see where it goes.

FUUUUUCK had one of those fucking days again where I just want to cram a keyboard down somebody's throat.

Son of a fuck how is it possible to be so irritated!?

Guess who just spent the entire day before launch debugging why compose doesn't work on an ec2 instance where I DIDN"T INSTALL FUCKING DOCKER

I guess this is the key difference between me and seniors. Seniors know where to look where shit breaks because they have been breaking it for at least 5 years.

"Advertising is the one industry where all the experts seem to be the people who don’t work in it." - William Childs

What gadget do you like the most, preferably besides your computer and cellphone?

Mine is Google Home mini. Because I typically forget where I put my cellphone. I just say "Hey Google, find my phone" and it will ring it.

The best parts of day are meetings with my boss. Meetings where said boss is always late, and inevitably asks "is it time"!

Procrastination is not a bad thing as opposed to how society describes it. It's where ideas and new strategies are invented. Of course if you procrastinate all day then it may be an issue of not getting things done, but fighting it all the time does not help.

The mind is trying to tell you something, let it flow.

When StackOverfliw is down, where do its programmers look to find out how to fix it?

> Client: Could you check for me where did they[code authors] put logic for this and that
> Sure!

> okey, api endpoint here, hmm
> oh sure here is the database access
> where tf is some logic....
> fml, am I blind, lets check frontend
> FUCK
> it's there
> it's on frontend
> and backend just puts it into database, no checks
> FU0!@#% )(#*%)H )F+#+!!@!

> *to client* We need to talk about future of this project.

I had an uncle named Severin. He died just three days after birth because of lung malfunction.

His grave is long abandoned and no member of my very large family can remember where it is.

This is !dev as fuck but does anyone know something like a book recommendation engine? There are a ton for movies and anime, but couldnt find a good one for books. The best would be one where i input some books and fonds me similar ones.

Alternatively, im looking for dark fantasy books where magic is negligible and potentially has assassins in it, if anyone knows good ones.

Does anyone know any offline program like jsonresume to create pdf resumes..? It seems jsonresume is broken, and everytime i try it builds a pdf with no theme at all..

I need a resume where space is not wasted and i dont want to rewrite the entire css to make that happen. Suggesting a specific jsonresume theme i.e. style.css and .hdr file would also help because i found a blog where it was explained how to build a html resume using these..

And is there any offline html to pdf converters ?

Ever reach a point where nothing seems to matter anymore ? I mean it does but you’re in a situation where everyone is just mindlessly repeating the same bullshit endlessly ?

I think the « super power » of making everything works the first time, etc.. is really bad, where is the fun ? Where is this moment of happiness when it finally works ? :/
If i had this, I'll never want to be a dev again.

Hello guys, where is the best place to keep updated with latest codes, and code tricks? For Android, php etc... Any language it does matter

I can't shift to kotlin because my company is fucking around on being on Java 7 (with retrolamdas *wink*), where it takes 10 minutes for a gradle build.

How am I supposed to work in an environment where the backend crashes and is unavailable for 20 minutes multiple times a day and when it does work the average response time is 3000ms??

I think IT Applications is the only field where spending tons of money on something new that only does 50% of what is being replaced is considered a win.

I don't know how it works in other countries, but in Hungary the best workplace where you can have a beer and good time with your colleagues after work. Is it same thing at your country? :)

What is it with wget and repeatedly getting this odd bug where it segfaults or passes invalid sizes to free() or malloc() when you resize a terminal it's running in? For fuck's sake

How long y'all think it is before we get things like Spotify integrated into video games, especially sports ones where it makes the most sense.

Hopefully soon, because I'd be down.

Stayed up all night to make interactive data visualizations from CFTC data and now I want to show it out.
BUT
No one is interested. Why Earth why?

Whatever, where is keyboard, and turn off the lights.

- Dark music plays.

I wonder if there is a Galaxy where at the fashion Show instead of women there are just Code parts walking on the catwalk and it is a Contest which Code is the most beautiful .. Lol

I dont like programming languages where "there is more than one way to do it".

There should be one way to do things, it makes it easy for developers to understand code others have written, it makes it easier to start working in new teams etc etc.

Has anyone else noticed these slight imprecicions where the the background peeks out at the bottom sometimes? It is pretty hard to spot, only happens sometimes after scrolling. Or is my display resolution just too high?

So, I made this API which logins to the system and Used it in an android app, there was one roadblock to it, that everytime user enters a password, it has to match the password hash so I, excitingly, used password_verify($password,$passwordHash), unknowingly that it is fucking unsafe and the code is still there, and here's where it gets interesting it is not over SSL/TLS. Fuck me, any bright solutions?

Is it just me or does it seem like basically every dev here is a web dev? Where is everyone else?

Aw fuck, I'm more retarded when it comes to Linux than I anticipated.

(Arch) Linux is like a nice, big framework where everything you need for the basic setup is already there, but you end up overlooking it and implementing it yourself.

At least my hard drives are gonna be defraged

Seeing an exception with no stack trace , emailing every1 how dumb it is , a week later another 1 , i already found where they were thrown and who did it after revealing history and I'm going to call chuck Norris on him

Compliance trainings.
All that mandatory bullshit, where they're trying to take the most boring thing ever (ie policies), and gamify it, throw shitload of multimedia on it, make it interactive and think anybody is going to care.
I don't want to watch your fucking videos where employees are trying to enact policy violations.
I'm not going to follow the policies and cooperate with HR as they're not to be trusted in a first place.

Where the hell is the "skip bullshit" button, which takes me to the end of the training, where I click the "I Acknowledge" button, because agreement/liability confirmation is the only thing they're after anyway.

I hate it when things crash, but I also enjoy the sweet seconds where I can just watch YouTube at work because my computer is busy.

Why?? just why is it that analytics engineer requires SQL and talking to product managers?
Where is the whole corporate chain when you need one?

in any other language anything is possible

in rust?

"no"

and you spend 3 months on it and turns out it's a no

this is like project #13 for me where I fail at it. the others I didn't try as long. but now I'm sure

good night

When the QA fails....
... "Go to Settings" button is disabled....

I'm still searching where in the settings the option is to 'opt out', but still can't find it

Pondering on what to call the act of copulation here on DevRant.
Feel free to add your suggestions!
My suggestion is "child class instantiation". One could on rare occasions call it "client server"...
I know, really childish of me, but I'm bored...

Quick question, because I have no idea how to Google it. The "block coding" concept that scratch is built upon, does anyone know if it's copyrighted in any way?

Working on a project, where I'm thinking of implementing something like it.

It seems he is trying to replace HTML with svg and canvas when basic html and css can be used to make beautiful dashboards.

Like i anticipated it is gonna be a ux cluster fuck, where most of the website is an ugly bootstrap contraception and some parts gonna look like futuristic.

"So... you know SQL? Great!! Here, I have this project for you to fix a few things."

"What is it?", you ask... SSIS packages and stuff!

Where do I start??!!

After using it for a while Visual Studios Intellisense is slowing down to the point where typing is delayed for seconds.
Im restarting VS a few times per workday now, that shit is annoying af.

Does it count as a learning experience if I have still not yet fully learned it? Then it's estimating tasks.

Fix this bug where the modal is rendered underneath the message-count-badge on your profile? Heh should be easy, 10 mins to set a higher z-index.

Final cost: two weeks, where I needed two status meetings and drawing on the whiteboard to explain why this happens and why it needs a major restructuring.

I want to start something like a blog or a programming diares, what do you think about it? and, where is the best site to start writing/posting medium or dev community?

Well it says favorite tool, that would have to be vim. Close second is everything jetbrains ever made including Kotlin. Most useful would probably be git. Where would we all be without git?

So many choices for backend I'm fucking confused. Yesterday, I tried Django and i found it little similar to RoR(in generating things, db migration things).
I'm currently working in NodeJS.
I even don't know should I rant or cry.
And of course frontend is another thing same like this.....
And I'm not much experienced to differentiate them and know which is better and where it will fit.
Can anyone tell me in simple way which framework fits where?

I have never used Docker and/or Kubernetes. Motivate me to use it by telling me how cool it is.
I want to build a complete ci-pipeline but am too lazy to start... there is so much to do, and I don't know where to start.

It feels so good having a second e-mail address just for al those shitty sites where you need to create an account only to use it like oncie. A burner password is also a thing for such sites.

Electric vehicles are clean and all (if they're not being powered by your local coal-burning plant), but… after the battery is toast, where does it go? With all those EVs, where are we supposed to put 222,522,300 dead 18650 cells from all 2023's Tesla Model X cars alone? There are other EVs out there…

In that frustrated moment where the code is right but doesn't work...
Boss is a non-technical guy who's like I don't care just get it done and I'm just sitting here staring at the screen not knowing what to do...

I tend to do very functional code that I'm capable of reading while writing, but have to spend quite a bit of time on to understand later on...
Especially if it is a group project where execution time is relevant 😐

Can someone explain Scrum to me, like everything, what it is, why it's used, why it's effective, cases where it isn't effective, what the roles are etc, I've tried to understand it online but to no avail (need a childish explanation I guess)

If you think about it logically devrant is really just an RPG game with a lot of griding. You set your avatar and you play. Now eventually we're gonna get an update where an unbalanced feature is added...

Can someone tell me why the fuck is it so hard to choose where to install electron apps? Selecting installation directory is a default feature in pretty much anything installable. Is electron somehow above that? Is clicking the two a extra buttons to choose a second drive too mainstream nowdays? What? Why? I use Atom, VS code, postman, cycligent, boostnote among others . The idea is good, the apps look beautiful and responsive. But bloated as fuck. Atom alone takes 1.4Gb! And I am ok with it! Really I am! But why the fuck not let me install it in a drive where I have 70% of space free and instead make me use my crammed SSD? Why? WHY?