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Search - "it management"
Secretary of the IT department stated in a meeting that she was "overqualified to babysit a group of 40 grown-ass men who are unable to communicate with each other"
... all devs had a huge grin on their faces because we knew that she was absolutely right, management was furious 😂
She submitted her resignation on the same day, best secretary we've ever had!1
Management : "How long you think it would take?"
Me : "now this is a rough estimate, but I think building the back-end and database alone could take 6-months minimum"
Management : "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU ARE NOT SERIOUS"
me : "its a big proj..."
Management : "I thought it will be something like 10 days, already told the client it can be done"
me : "but we are not ready"
Management : "how are we not ready? we already have the virtual 3D shop, and we can use this ready-to-deploy eCommerce service as our data base "
... "you need to figure this out, this is not acceptable" he continued
* 2 Days Later -talking to my direct boss *
Boss : "since you don't know how to do it..."
me : "what ? I didn't say I can't do it, all I said it will take six months"
Boss : "yeah yeah, anyway there is this studio, a professional polish studio, we called them and they can do it, we will sign a contract with them, this will let you focus on the front-end. good?"
me : "well alright then"
Boss : "please write a doc, explaining everything needed from the backend"
-to me that was the end of it, took a long time to tell me they made the deal-
* 5 Months later *
- "Abdu, can you come here for a minute..."
- "yes boss?"
- "the document we asked you to do for the Polish studio, did you specify that we needed an integration with the API we are using for eCommerce?"
scared to death I answered : "why of course I did!"
I ran to my PC to check it out because I didn't know, I forgot because no one even comment on my doc. I check it out, and it was clearly explained... I got relaxed...
turns out they didn't even do what we asked them for. took them 5 months, and with no communication whatsoever. all their work was useless to us. complete dump waste.
never mentioned this until a year later... in a heat of moment when they were asking me to make an impossible task with no men and no time... I reminded them of this story... management didn't like it. but it was the truth. they didnt push this crazily this time13
This story is 100% true.
I got hired onto a team of construction workers to build a house. We set up a meeting with Management to find out what kind of house they wanted us to build, where’s the floor plan, what it’s going to be used for, who it’s for, etc. Management said that they didn’t know all that, we should just get started. They told us that we were going to use “Agile” which means that we just work on small deliverables and build the thing incrementally.
The developer team lead argued that we at least need to know how big the thing is going to be so that we can get started pouring the foundation, but Management told him they just don’t know. “What we do know,” Management said, “is that the house is going to have a bathroom. Just start there, and we’ll know more when it’s done. You have two weeks.”
So we just bought a port-a-potty, and screwed around on the internet for two weeks. Management was outraged. “You call this a house? This is the worst house ever! It doesn’t even have a tv!”
So we bought a tv and put it in the port-a-potty, attached to an outdoor generator. We were going to buy a a dvd player and get it hooked up to cable, but Management rejected the expense request, saying that they didn’t know if we needed it, and we’d come back to that later.
Management decided that we definitely need storage space, so we bought a boxcar and duct-taped the port-a-potty to it. Then to our horror they set up some desks and put a few miserable business interns in there. It went on like this…
After a few years the boxcar grew into a huge, ramshackle complex. It floods, leaks, it’s frozen in the winter and an oven in the summer. You have to get around in a strange maze of cardboard tubes, ladders and slides. There are two equally horrible separate buildings. We’re still using just the one outdoor generator for all power, so electricity is tightly rationed.
Communication between the buildings was a problem. For one of them, we use a complex series of flag signals. For the other we write notes on paper, crumple the paper up, and toss it over. Both of these methods were suggested as jokes, but Management really liked them for some reason. The buildings mostly talk to each other but they have to talk through us, so most of what we do is pass messages on.
It was suggested that we use paper airplanes instead of crumpled up balls, but the fat, awkward fingers of the Business Majors who inevitably take those jobs couldn’t be trained to make them. I built an awesome automatic paper airplane folder, but once again they couldn’t be trained to use it, so they just went back to crumpling the notes up in balls.
The worst part of all this is that it’s working. Everyone is miserable, but the business is making money. The bright side is that this nightmare complex is done so now we know what kind of building they actually needed in the first place, so we can start work on it. Obviously we can’t tell Management anything about what we’re doing until it’s finished. They noticed the gigantic hole in the ground where the foundation is coming in, but we told them that it’s a cache reset, and they mostly ignore it except when the occasional customer falls in.
I’ll probably be out of here before the new building gets finished. I could get a 50% raise by switching jobs, but Management still doesn’t think I should get a raise because I missed a couple sprints.7
Management: "We have a Team Building session next week"
Colleague A: "Paintballing"
Colleague B: "Go-Karting"
On the day: "Welcome. Today we will be playing an IT Helpdesk Role Playing Game"
Bought a tiny tablet so I can more easily do server management on the road/in bed.
I'm playing old school minesweeper on it now 😓11
Project manager: I thought you said you made sure it was live today! I'm going to have to explain that you're the main issue with why it isn't live to management!
Me: have you cleared your cache?.... (long silence)
I swear it's the new "have you tried turning it off and then on again".2
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, *"But how'd you know?"**
"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."6
It finally happened. Upper management is demanding a historical (7+ years) of lines-of-code analysis of our entire code base. They want to justify our positions by validating that the lines-of-code has increased in accordance with the economy. I am not kidding. For every year, they expect some percent increase in our lines of code.18
This happened a month or so ago. I wanted a tablet for more easy/portable server management (JuiceSSH) so I went to a second hand tech store (a good/reliable one) and this guy asked me right away what I was looking for.
I pointed at a specific one and he grabbed it and walked me to the cash desk to take a look at it.
"what do you want to use it for?"
"server management mostly"
Then this other guy behind the desk looked at me with this view in his eyes like:
The employee helping me also looked strangeish at me
I hate ZenHub. For those who haven't heard of it, it's an agile project management solution that is hacked (and by hacked I mean really hacked) on top of Github.
It's touted as being convenient because you can have all your issues in Github and then look at them in epics and board format. Sounds awesome. Except it's not. For everything "convenient" it does, it severely lacks the most basic ticket management features that make any ticket management solution usable. Ex., you can't copy tickets. That's right - if you're creating 20 similar tickets, which I've needed to do in the past, you must create each one individually. New ticket -> add labels -> add assignee -> add title -> add description and then submit. 20 times.
ZenHub is so bad and so poorly conceived that many of those who use it have lost sight of project management reality and are blind to the 300 other PM products out there that are better.
True story: a couple of weeks ago people were celebrating because ZenHub added functionality to allow you to define what epic an issue belonged in while you were creating it. For those who aren't familiar with what that means, let me explain: before two weeks ago, when creating an issue in ZenHub, to fill out this "epic" field, you needed to first create the issue and then edit it to fill in the epic.
Let me break that down in devRant terms: it's the equivalent of not being able to add tags to a rant until you create it and then go back and edit it. Complete lunacy is the only way to describe it. And when they added the functionality two weeks ago allowing you to do it all in one step, people praised them!!!
Yeah, ZenHub sucks.12
It looks like we have been working on something that qualifies almost all of this (except the management wants it, so there's little funding) 😂
Haha, pretty shitty to work on something like this for the last 4-5 months.4
Her "it's just a Web portal how long can it take"
Me "it's a completely custom content management system. It will take time."
Her "well how long then?"
Me "a good six/seven weeks. With a lot of overtime."
Her "oh don't be so dramatic, just use WordPress."10
Worst experience with higher ups:
The Office team at Microsoft suddenly woke up to the possibility of innovation from the grounds up. We were asked to come up with ideas. The best ideas were to be shortlisted by management.
That's what i had a problem with. People are generally bad at dertermining what will work. So instead of managenst shortlisting, everyone should have run cheap experiments with their ideas and we could then double down on the ones that showed promise. That's what is done at all internet companies. But the Office team's culture hadn't changed from the boxed software days.
I was asked to have faith in the judgement of management.
Well, Ballamer didn't let Office develop mobile apps for Android and Apple. When Nadella took over, he fixed that mistake. But because competitors had already gotten ahead, the Office team had to work on Saturdays for almost a year to ship it quickly. Meaning employees having to unnecessarily sacrifice their family time because of a strategic blunder by the highest management.
So excuse me if I don't have faith in the judgement of management.3
Disclaimer: kinda non dev related. Just working to pay the bills right now.
The other day I ran for the train to work, don't want to be fucking late, right?
Arrived and this guy asked me this: (I have a sweating/transpiration problem but I'm fully aware of that)
"hey man, ever heard of fucking showers or deodorant?!"
Yes, I was sweating my ass off and you could smell me but I can't FUCKING help that.
It was very embarrassing and humiliating to get that kinda comment in front of like 30 people but I just swallowed it and went to work.
After the first break, a woman from management came to me and pulled me aside. A few people had complained about how that guy from before said some pretty humiliating stuff to me and she said that the guy received a warning and was told to fucking learn to treat people with respect, regardless of their (health) issues/appearance. I also got an apology and a sorry and if I could keep my eyes open for such behaviour in the future.
I'm very glad that she apologized although it wasn't her fault because I know I've got this health issue and I can't do anything about it yet but it can MOTHERFUCKING hurt when someone talks shit about me when I smell and I CAN'T FUCKING HELP IT BECAUSE THIS IS THE WAY MY BODY WORKS TOO BADLY.
I felt protected and safe about my issue for the first time in my life.
In the project management system we use with our clients I see file named, 'instructions for backup.'
I open the file and all it contains is my name and phone number.😑4
Although I know it's nothing, the irony is real.
My room is connected to the power group together with 5 other people.
Watching a mass surveillance documentary.
Suddenly my power goes out, the rest stays on.
I know it must be a glitch in the newly installed power management system but damn the timing couldn't be better!4
I fucking saw it coming!
I discussed with my manager a much required raise given the number of patents the company has filed on my work, successfull completion of a full-scale ML product in 6 fucking months and working as a team lead for the last 2 month.
"We cannot bypass the policy of appraisal every one year"
"This is not the right time to ask for a raise from management"
And still that scumbag expects me to work on saturday, dedicate more that 9 hours everyday, not complain about the poor management and arrive on time everyday !
It is really time to leave this shithole company and this piece of shit manager who btw draws most of the budget allocated to the team.
I think I have realised not to give more fucks than paid for to any job no matter what.
Hands down. Fuck this!13
This fucktard of a 'stick that facility management up your arse' manager.
He insisted 'no cooling required. Trust me'.
While we insisted 'how dare you to asume our servers temperatures'!
We moved our servers to a new /tmp/office/ yesterday. Was quite fun, until we saw this...
Doorhandle is hot as fuck, 50 degrees air temperature, all servers in heat error state. Thank you, you damn fucktards! Take this cactus 🌵 and stick it up your arse!!
Can't work like that.13
Last week my company fired 4 people (on top of 15 more over the past few months). This week they silently pushed a change to all of our machines that changed our wallpapers. The wallpaper was a picture of someone in upper management staring at you with wide eyes.
They claimed it was a joke or something but the office didn't see it that way. At best it was incredibly tone deaf and stupid, at worst it was a way to tell employees that they are always watching.
I have no idea how management could be that fucking out of touch.12
A while back a co-worker of mine fucked up by leaving some debug code and pushing to production.
He quickly repaired it, redeployed and everything was good again before the customer experienced any issues.
Later that day, management showed up by his desk to ask what happened, how it happened and stating that he was not "angry enough" about his fuck up, long after it has been repaired.
Up to this day i regret not asking in what unit of measurement we could determine if we were angry enough; decibels? gray hairs? grams of shit in my underwear?4
One of our teachers developed a website for our university about three years ago. That was something like assignments management system + social network + schedule, everything in the world as one website.
It seemed like he didn't put any code escaping at all. Injected a block of CSS that made the entire page slowly fade away when some user tried to look at my page. Other teachers stared at it as if it was pure magic, doubting their sanity.
Still isn't fixed btw :)6
Worst part of being a database dev:
It is arguably the least sexist dev job out there.
Don't think anyone is going to be interested in how you 'reduced the runtime of a query from 30 minutes to 5 minutes for a front-end app used by an important client' or 'used the data dictionary to better handle resource management for important transactions.'12
Craziest deadline I've ever had...
Task: Patch 193 machines
- no configuration/patch management
- no knowledge of the machines
- no contact info/application owners
...timeframe...do it today!
Here's the winner...do we have credentials for these machines? Ha, nope.6
Boss: here is a mac project, we have not enough time.
Me: what? I didn't not work with Mac and related languages ever!
Boss: yeah, but you are senior developer, this is not supposed to be that difficult to you..
Me: *moment of silence* just tell me who taught you it and project management. because you are the stupidest shitty boss that a developer could have5
Management knows shit about managing.
They ask us to do x and one month later they have the first meeting to discuss it... They didn't even plan it, only asked.
Its like asking a hamburger at Mc Donalds and letting the kind of hamburger for when it arrives:
"Hey, I want a hamburger"
Mc. Employee: "Which one , sir?"
"Doesn't matter, when it arrives we decide about it, just go on, chop chop"5
Our own company website. Everyone got involved, the process broke down, and because all of management and company owners were participating- it was nearly impossible to get anything done.
We are our own worst client.5
*makes course outline*
Management: Um yeah make the outline similar to this course from earlier
Me: Hmm, so Yocto etc.. well that'll require a good amount of research because I've got no idea what Yocto is or how I'm supposed to use it.
*researches about Yocto, prepares build VM and Raspberry Pi target, thinks of how on Earth I'd make my coworker without Raspberry Pi interface with it from across the world*
2 days later..
Management: Yeah actually we don't want Yocto. Just do simple stuff like application development, GPIO etc.
Me & co-worker: Awesome mate! That'll make things a lot easier. Except for the 2 days of lost work, but we can live with that if it's just GPIO and such.
3 days later..
Management: guys your course outline sucks. Do it all over again, we want Yocto to be in it after all.
YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!!! Why don't you behave a little bit less like a fucking client that doesn't know what they want for once?!!23
Don't you just love it when you're forced to write code for Linux based systems on a windows PC with no access to virtual machines and then have management get angry because it broke in production?6
4 years ago, during our college, a friend of mine was explaining us about hacking using simple SQL injections. He showed us some of the sites he hacked. Out of curiosity we tried it on college internal website it worked. We had access to all the details of all the students in university, and even the lecturer's information. We informed the management , they were shocked on seeing this. They had just spent 25 lakhs for this website couple of months ago.6
>Upper management personal hands me a paper.
>"Can you make some copies of this for me?"
>"You work in IT."8
Please Java and all java shit, take more memory I don't need it -_-
16GB doesn't seem to be enough to have a VM and Android Studio Open but it is more than enough to have
1. Visual Studio
2. SQL Server Management Studio
5. Visual Studio code
Fuck. This. Shit!20
This story starts over two years ago... I think I'm doomed to repeat myself till the end of time...
[I'm thrust into the world of Microsoft Exchange and get to learn PowerShell]
Me: I've been looking at email growth and at this rate you're gonna run out of disk space by August 2014. You really must put in quotas and provide some form of single-instance archiving.
Management: When we upgrade to the next version we'll allocate more disk, just balance the databases so that they don't overload in the meantime.
[I write custom scripts to estimate mailbox size patterns and move mailboxes around to avoid uneven growth]
Me: We really need to start migration to avoid storage issues. Will the new version have Quotas and have we sorted out our retention issues?
Management: We can't implement quotas, it's too political and the vendor we had is on the nose right now so we can't make a decision about archiving. You can start the migration now though, right?
Me: Of course.
Me: At this rate, you're going to run out of space again by January 2016.
Management: That's alright, we should be on track to upgrade to the next version by November so that won't be an issue 'cos we'll just give it more disk then.
[As time passes, I improve the custom script I use to keep everything balanced]
Me: We will run out of space around Christmas if nothing is done.
Management: How much space do you need?
Me: The question is not how much space... it's when do you want the existing storage to last?
Management: October 2016... we'll have the new build by July and start migration soon after.
Me: In that case, you need this many hundreds of TB
Storage: It's a stretch but yes, we can accommodate that.
[I don't trust their estimate so I tell them it will last till November with the added storage but it will actually last till February... I don't want to have this come up during Xmas again. Meanwhile my script is made even more self-sufficient and I'm proud of the balance I can achieve across databases.]
Oct 2016 (last week)
Me: I note there is no build and the migration is unlikely since it is already October. Please be advised that we will run out of space by February 2017.
Management: How much space do you need?
Me: Like last time, how long do you want it to last?
Management: We should have a build by July 2017... so, August 2017!
Me: OK, in that case we need hundreds more TB.
Storage: This is the last time. There's no more storage after August... you already take more than a PB.
Management: It's OK, the build will be here by July 2017 and we should have the political issues sorted.
Sigh... No doubt I'll be having this conversation again in July next year.
On the up-shot, I've decided to rewrite my script to make it even more efficient because I've learnt a lot since the script's inception over two years ago... it is soooo close to being fully automated and one of these days I will see the database growth graphs produce a single perfect line showing a balance in both size and growth. I live for that Nirvana.6
German (and I think most off Europe) :
Data management :
... It always confuses me...
If your manager asks for a "rough time estimate" for a project, there is a higher than 99% chance that your answer will be written down and be used in presentations of project roadmap to upper management and/or marketing, who will create a hard deadline based on your rough estimate and communicate this to customers/clients, and then blame you for not keeping the deadline when it turns out (as it always does) that the rough estimate was off by several months because feature creep caused by upper management.4
WannaCry hit one of our server and the latest backup we had was from May 2017. You know who got blamed? Developers. I repeatedly told the General Manager that SysAdmin are the once who should be doing backups, Server updates and management as per their job description yet we got blamed for it.
I don't know what the fuck is going in this world.13
Client: You are bad developers. Your code has bugs and the site isn't even pretty. And why is it so damn expensive??
Same client (a month later): I need this campaign landing page with the option to register and an admin for user management. It should be done till the day after tomorrow because the URL is already in print. Here's the catalogue (in .pdf) in which it will appear. Use it as a style guide.
A. Please put your fucking functions in files with names related to the purpose of the functions.
B. Don't define your database management methods in your goddamn configuration file.
C. In addition, fucking document your shit at the top of the file if you refuse to abide by request A.
Someone is going to maintain or modify this code after you, and that person will have a hell of a time with it.3
So that coworker of mine who got promoted to manager keeps continuing on abusing her new power. She convinced upper management to implement a new policy where you would be disqualified from your monthly performance incentives if you take 2 total sick days a month. She says this is to reduce the number of sick days people take, which of course upper management loved hearing.
By the way, since she's a manager now, this particular policy doesn't affect her - it only applies to us in the trenches. She can still take as many sick days as she wants, since being a manager she can work from home.
Needless to say, save for a couple of suck-ups, she's lost a lot of friends and made a number of enemies in our department, particularly on our dev team.13
So, it seems my father has anger management issues
It's the 3rd iPhone he has broken
Also in picture, Apple watch14
Fighting against management is my daily struggle.
I reject the notion that more management, meetings and reports makes me work faster.
Want it done in time?
Stop wasting my time and interrupting me when I'm deep in complex thought. Let me do what's necessary and put in the hours if I have the energy and time.
But you damn better pay me for it.
I do not care for your praise, when I make the impossible happen time and again in days that would take months.
I expect your praise in the form of higher numbers going into my account.4
Every single fucking time:
Developers: Maybe we'll do something nice for the users, like signing in with Facebook account?
Business: Nah, nobody is gonna pay for that and it sounds useless. We're good with current solutions. Just do your job!
half a year later:
Business: Hey, I just came up with the idea that we could have logging in with Facebook.
Also business: Wow, great idea!
Management: Here's your bonus for a great idea!
I write "api" in the mail and the management girl thinks i made a typo and corrects it to "app" on the report.
This is not even the first time she has done this! 🤦🏻♂7
A dickhead boss that wrote a single fucking sql select (SELECT * FROM data WHERE 1) to display all the not normalized and redundant shit in an html 4.0 styled table. He proudly shown that shit to me saying "modify it to make a crud that will become a full management software in the 2.0". Furthermore he wants to scarpe data from websites that ecplicitly say that using that data it's not legal.4
I hate it how our profession became common over the last decade. We're nothing more than factory workers of todays day and age. Just take a look at petty midldle management above you all... and all underpayed and overworked devs out there... Nah, this ain't that glamorous proffesion I dreamed about as a kid.13
Well I'm on the way to an interview for an IT Management internship at Logitech, wish me luck I'm so fucking scared.
Any tips will be nice because I'm so fucking afraid I will fuck it up20
So I'm in the middle of the website migration that was made in Wordpress.
Just made a database dump and decided to take a look at it cause it looked really big for a site that only needs internal management. Found out they use contact form plugin which stores binary of attachments directly in database..
And people ask me why I hate Wordpress and so called Wordpress devs..6
Recently, one of our passwords was accidently published on a public page for a few minutes before it was noticed and removed. Unfortunately, this password opens nearly every locked account so it's a pretty big deal.
Management was informed of this mistake and told that we should change the passwords as well as implement a few other protocols to make sure this doesn't happen again including things like unique passwords, more secure passwords, using a password manager, etc.
Their response? It wasn't online long, probably no one saw it. There will be no changes in how we handle ours or our clients' secure passwords.6
Wrote a cpp semester project where i had to develop school management system.
The code was spaghetti and horrible with frightening OOP implementation but it was beautifully written with comments and 🐫 Casing.
Submitted the program and examiner rejected it while saying that i had copied it from else where and i could never write a beauty code like that .
You dumb 💩! Don't you know other basis to reject a person's hard-work7
Feeling productive at a Sunday evening. Let's install a DNS server and a fucking mail server on two forgotten VPS's I am still paying for.
SO A-FUCKING-PPEARANTLY, THEIR WEB MANAGEMENT PANEL IS FUCKED UP SO I CANNOT REINSTALL MY MOTHERFUCKER VPS's. HOW FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING DIFFICULT CAN IT BE.15
Things you hear from developers 5 minutes before demo to the whole Management Board.
- "... Does this button work... Nope... Oh well..."
- "What the hell is THAT!?"
- "Um... Is it supposed to look like this?"
- "Please tell me you didn't just merge this!?!"
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*
"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."3
*has an appointment to get a new home supervisor*
Management lass: Just so you know, you shouldn't talk about technology to your new home supervisor. She has no clue about it.
I love that new home supervisor already...4
At lunch, someone asked a question about our Sunday Hack-a-thon. Our PO said it was a "Smack-a-thon." I told her, "No, don't make stupid names. Let's call things what they are. It's Management Failure Sunday." Manager was sitting across the table when I said it.4
Am I the only one who hates cable management like this with zip ties? When one cable needs to be replaced you have to cut a bunch of zip ties and re-zip tie everything! Use Velcro!!!!!!
(I know it's not a dev rant but my old IT self came out)6
Transport management system support team:
Me: Good day, how may i assist?
Client: Hi, Can you help me setup my printer?
Me:* Sighs deeply with great discretion*
Me: Sorry mam but we don't do that here, we
only deal with issues regarding the TMS.
You would have to contact your IT guy
Client: but you are our IT guys
Me: *Sighs even deeper*
Me: Unfortunately mam we are not your "IT
Client: Well, This issue needs to be fixed
Me: Yes mam, yes it does *Hangs up phone*4
I wonder if managers have their own rant app/community?
They'd probably give it some long pointless name, though, like Management Policy Execution Helper or something.1
7 calls today, and still have my reports from yesterday and my recap due tomorrow to present to management.
This is dumb. I'm so annoyed I've just accepted it and am considering it just a part of life.16
Memo on August 4th: Staff, we're moving to the new building. IT, make sure the building is ready by September 15th.
IT: But the entire networking, surveillance, fire suppression (yes, we do that too) and power management systems have to be installed/redone.
Management: What's so hard about that? Just get it done.
Memo about a week ago: Timeline for move shifted to September 9th
IT: Sir, this request is unreasonable especially since you still want us to go through the usual procurement process of hiring vendors to deal with stuff.
Management: So you mean to tell me you can't handle that in the next couple weeks?
IT: We're a large organisation with ~300 employees. The data centre in the new building isn't even usable yet.
Management: I don't care. Make sure everything is placed and operational by the 5th. Stop making a mountain out of a mole hill!4
Boss: "Sooo.... How long will it take?"
Me: "Maybe we should agree on some processes and specify your wishes for the new feature first?"
Boss: "Yeah you're right.... But what do you think? Will you get it done til $deadline?"
Why am I even trying? Who needs project management anyway?4
I'm fairly sure that even if I were to run Windows 10 on a machine with double ECC, it'd still BSOD because of poor memory management. Because why on Earth would Microsoft support such a basic, essential thing properly, hmm?!!
Oh and let's add HDMI to the existing list of ACPI and USB. How difficult can it possibly be to support those basic, most standardized fucking hardware protocols? Pretty fucking insanely hard apparently!!!3
I hate working with egoistic noobshit hotshot "developers". But sadly, they tend to get ahead because they talk like they know everything in front of tech idiot management.
management: I need this swanky feature X in our product within the month.
me: That literally requires a huge refactor because our current codebase was never meant to support this type of service. We need to think about this.
noobshit: I disagree. This is easy. We're already doing something similar that is Z, this shouldn't take very long.
me: Z seems similar, but it actually quite different.
me (in my head): ... and you would know it's *completely* different if you fucking understood our own codebase vs what X needs you moron.
noobshit: Nah, it's similar. We can accomplish X if we polish up Z a bit.
*** 1 week later ***
noobshit: Omg X is horrifying and complex. We can't do it without a huge refactor.
me (in my head): Fuck you
But guess who's got better career prospects because they're all shiny and positive in front of management?1
Last year the rewrite of an ancient system (VB6/mainframe COBOL) was started. Instead of moving to modern architecture management decided to rewrite the app's functionality into our last gen WinForms client/server arch. I set up a meeting to present alternatives and plead for some level of modernization. After presenting and asking management to plan for five to ten years in the future instead of just this year's budget my director said, "In five to ten years I'll be retired on a beach in Tahiti and this will be your problem to solve." It was the last straw and I left the company shortly after. Last week I found out the director was force retired out of the company. I sent her a congratulations slip and a cocktail umbrella with "Tahiti" written on it.2
A couple days ago, I went through the most embarrassing interview ever. It was a startup into both hardware and software merged over image processing. I really wanted it. Really really did. It was telephonic, and involved a little bit coding over docs. In the one hour we talked over the phone, he asked me about 30 questions. I hadn't even heard of the words he said! Ive never delved into compilers, lower level things, and memory management. I could answer about 5 questions- including the tell me about yourself question.
So thats about 25 ways I came up with of saying "I don't know" in a span of 60 minutes.3
What I've learned from my boss
-UI is easy to change, it's only css
-It is always low level programmer fault
-Management is never wrong
-You have to be early for them to be extra late
-Complex thing have to be simple
-Being straightforward is only one way
And lastly never ever expect a raise
You guested it, I don't work there anymore! Fuckin cunt4
The 5 stages of project management:
1 - the Mission:
Receive a project
2 - the Vision:
Over confidence and optimistic time estimation. Tell people how quick you can finish it.
3 - the Climax:
Adding unnecessary features. Try to be innovative. Think different. Feeling like a Rockstar.
4 - the Bargain:
Does not aware deadline is not far away. Reverse all unnecessary or impractical moomshot features. A bit stressed
5 - the Embarrassment:
Unpredicted obstacles or incidents. Late delivery or fail. Feel like a loser.1
Spend a week coming up with a cool, albeit it "unusual" design for a site that's very fitting (seriously retro feel for a documentary based on old video games that look like an old command line)
Management - "We don't like it. It's too retro looking. Make it more modern like our other sites."
Me - *does so*
Management - "It's a bit boring now isn't it."
WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!
I realise it's a process and there is a gradient to design but when I come up with designs I make sure they are fitting and relevant. If you're going to butcher them because they're different and not "flat" then what's the point?
I always missed the window management feature of windows when I switched to macOS. Now thanks to VEEER. It just works and its free.17
For the first time in my life windows 10 repair fixed the PC?
Was getting bluscreen regarding unmountable boot, memory management then try to open it now it started diagnosing your PC.
Started reading devrant it fixed the problem and it works now.5
You can't call me a "nut job" on Lync then five minutes later dump your fucking work experience kid on me so that I can "tell him what to type" and "let him do some of the work". I'm a paid technical intern, not your fucking babysitter, so maybe you should pay your own kid attention rather than let somebody else to do it to make you feel superior.
You know fuck all and have needed my help numerous times, and been sheepish every time I've known something you don't. If I helped you with something, say thank you and don't act like my presence perpetually pisses you off. Sit down and show me some respect, as I always have to you, or I'll report you to HR for being a demeaning twat. Your call.
Or perhaps I could have a word with the new Director you've been arse-licking. I'm sure he'd love to hear that you have been treating like shit the one guy who can save you from the shit show of having no idea how to do the task you've been set.
I know I'm an intern but come on, I could take your job tomorrow if I didn't have a degree to go back to. If you keep being a shit to people then one day I will actually do it!5
When your IT Director pays $10k+/yr for a database and it doesn't even have an API... and you worked 100+ hrs on developing your own...1
A very rudimentary bedroom project management system. Each note is a different section of the program I'm working on.
I do this at night to make extra money, so it's not exactly the best system. It works though.
Have a visual representation of progress somehow motivates me.7
"adding that feature is not hard, the devs are just lazy"... or maybe... just maybe development is more complicated than you make it out to be when you vomit your middle management all over it?
Agile is cool but management likes to screw it up by trying to micromanage. This usually starts but making an inexperienced pm your scrum master. They control all meetings and turn daily standup to a 30 minute interrogation session.1
New job surprise: I will inherit a 900k lines of php code from a contractor dev shop. It is the company erp web app.
It has no version control, tests, architecture or configuration management of any kind.
There are just 1800 bug ridden files with almost no comments in a directory with lots of code duplication.
Also just learned that the contractor was paid a lot monthly for over 2 years for this monster.
I will need a raise quickly. At least management understands that I will need a couple of months to get a semblance of order in this madness.
And to you contractor I have your address and i'll try to restraint myself from vandalizing your house but I can't make any promises.
And fellow developers send help or beers or come and join me to teach this bastard a lesson.5
When an application is nearly complete and suddenly there is a recommendation thrown from management to change a technical specifications . Which will change the whole cycle effort meaningless. How does that feel?! Getting it now.
So, I recently picked up this book called "The Phoenix Project". I picked it up as I thought it was a project management text book. Turns out its a novel on how this Auto parts company's IT department broke down its silos and embraced DevOps. It's even framed as a thriller - the stakes always get higher! Extremely Exciting!
My Wife, kids and I listen to the audiobook as we drive and do errands every day. My Wife has gotten a very very frank understanding of what my job is like as a result.
I encourage everyone here to get a copy of the book.
Building a pull request on our Build Server takes 14 hours, it can do about 10 builds at a time and there are already 26 builds in the queue and it isn't even 10am.
I've been waiting for a build since I queued it on Friday - because the queue is actually a stack.
And management / senior developers are like...7
36.63% of the respondents said they’re not planning to use any new programming languages in the coming 12 months.
What about the tools?
Honestly, this was the hardest part of the report since it required very thorough data cleaning, and it turns out developer teams use a wide variety of tools, especially when it comes to testing and project management.31
Is amazing the kind of shit you have to swallow when your management has regular meetings with really really super extremely good-looking sales people.14
Woo crunch time! The 3 panic attacks a day, no sleep, massive guilt complex, caffiene addiction, lack of seeing my wife, phone breaking(calling doesn't work), lawn needing mowing, upper management bothering all of my team, more guilt, more panic, inferiority complex, theory that coworkers think I am slacking, and technology just not working because the machine spirit decided I pissed it off is starting to get to me a little.3
Today in development: discovered that it's possible via combination of keys to rename a database in SQL Server Management Studio without as much as a dialog box to confirm.
Shout out to the 2000ish users in production that discovered this delightful nugget of info with me.
A) Don't trust Microsoft to create software that makes you confirm potentially catastrophic actions
B) Make sure your user hasn't been granted ALTER DATABASE permissions without your knowledge before you start using it.1
If I ever start my own company, I'll build it on the basis of people not giving a single fuck about what others might think about them, especially management.
There will be no place for butthurt special snowflakes and predictable egoFucks! (credit to @MrJDev for that one)13
When management says we don't want open source...because there is no support, and we can't afford Enterprise licence because it eats away the profit, and shit needs to be done in lightening fast way...FUCK!!!1
Yesterday, I and my team built a good hospital management system for Trauma centers containing two apps and two websites.So that the system should contain transparency. But unfortunately, we didn't made a place in top 3 but it was a great experience to build this project with my team.3
When I was about 10 I decided to set up an imaginary business selling homemade stationary (notepads made of scrap paper!). It was a great way to entertain my younger sister making them whilst I programmed a full POS and inventory management system in BASIC.
Needless to say, my sister got bored of the idea long before I did. 20 years later I still use the same name as our imaginary business for any freelance work!
Code comments #1: A way to document bad code that wasn't reduced to it's essentials and thus unreadable. Bad.
Code comments #2: A way to explain for non-programmers how the code works. Wrong place.
Code comments #3: Company policy. No one really knows why, but others do that, so we better do it to. The management sucks.
Code comments #4: Because some hip methodology/guru describes how to document code. After a few years, when the methodology has been (unofficially) forgotten, everyone still comments the code the same way. The old management sucked.
Code comments 5#: For insecure programmers who want to convince them self they understand the code they've written. Maybe apply at McDo?
Code comments #6: Some programmers are apparently paid by lines of code. Possibly understandable.
// Comments, anyone?8
So management posted an article "10 signs you suck at your job" in the lunch room. It's pretty passive-aggressive; I wish I could find the link to it somewhere to post here.
Would you post the similar article "10 signs you're not management material" in there as well?8
-Management puts unrealistic deadline as usual-
_Tries his best but fails to deliver on time_
*Puts a clearly visible bug in code*
~Tester finds it and creates a issue~
*Solves the issue, wraps up the remaining things and closes the issue*
**Wakes up from dream, cuz he is the tester as well**
I use my PC mainly for gaming, Anime and home stuff.
Pc is a big tower under the desk btw.
Main monitor is a 34", 1440p, 60hz from LG (it's rather old). Second one is a 29", 1080p monitor from Phillips which I also could rotate. I really have no idea what I should use it for and I never really put it on anyway.
I could do more or less professional recording for Twitch or whatever but I'm to lazy and no pro, so I only use it for some multiplayer game sessions.
Questions or ideas how to optimise my setup are welcome.
Cable management is a mess btw.
The development process that my boss called SCRUM. It was anything but. Management thought they could make us do more work than possible.2
Q: How many management consultants does it take to finish a project specification?
A: Infinite. And this is not even funny.
I want to present to you:
My new server closet!
It's called "SaaSBox" from a German meme. Pls don't rate my cable management 😂
It isn't finished jet there is missing an AP and a dedicated modem.16
-Writes a function that I'm going to schedule for django.
-works in development.
-adds it to production cron using django-crontab
-spends 3 hours editing code, searching for similar problems and reading documentations but find nothing wrong and it's still not working.
-maybe it's django-crontab so I decide to just write a custom management command and call it through cron.
-still not working.
-calls function using what I'm telling cron to do.
-adds logs to cron command (sorry for not making it earlier)
-mfw the code is not working because I imported 'patterns' in urls.py which has been deprecated since django 1.8
In my short career, I've seen projects become legacy before their first release. Hell, I've seen proof-of-concept apps turn into technical debt because to management as long as it works we won't rewrite it.
The most recent that comes to my mind is from one of my previous projects. Our team is already overloaded and frustrated working for this garbage client. One fine day, out of the blue, the client once again revises the list of go-live critical development objects.
Our project manager takes this issue up with the client, and then with our management when the client does not listen.
The response he gets from our management is along the lines of, "But it's just forty development objects. Why are you complaining? Just get it done."
Needless to say, the motivation levels of the entire team went on a downward spiral soon after.1
I'm surprised management allows us to write false positive tests just to have high coverage instead of refactoring it first. Time to abandon ship.
Imma be real with youse, i havent been posting shit cause i have a great job with great teammates and great management. Like it a rant that i cant rant but thats a good thig i guess. But ion wanna see devrant community goin down the gutter cause old members r leavin so imma stick around and post stupid shit in the comments as usual. So youse can stop bothering me bout bein inactive hmmm3
Don't you hate it when your team lead sucks and you know more about management and development than he does?5
So, you are telling me that I should motivate myself? For working in a dead end job with no scope of promotion, no imminent raise, ever changing job requirements, layoffs, empty cubicles, zero SDLC process in place, no oversight from upper management, it is somehow my fault for me being late to work everyday?
One of these days, I'm going to fling my resignation paper at your face and drop the mic!
Man, Fuck you son!3
My colleague was once writing a test which deletes a file. And due to some fuck-up all the files in the C drive started getting deleted. By the time we found out half the files went missing and most programs stopped working. Had to secretly patch everything back up with me to ensure that he finishes his work and IT or management doesn't find out.1
Apparently I have to teach what I know of Linux to my coworkers to reduce the bus factor on the server management role. ( already ranted about it )
What I want to do is create a single slide power point with "google.com" on it.
First course of "Software Engineering", it is full of project management ...
I'm so disappointed ...4
F**king sh*t management...there was a training schedule for Casandra (for basics and advance), I added my name to interested list and as I wanted my site ppl know I sent a email to HR stating to look at it and add more ppl....now I am out from the list and a line manager's name got added...WTF....why the hell he needs rather then a programmer... :(2
Picture a small product team, the dev side of it has 1 tech lead, 1 recently promoted senior dev, 1 junior dev.
1 - Offer your tech lead a severance package
2 - Hire a mid-level and a junior dev
3 - Give the product lead role to someone in their mid-20s that has no tech or project management background
4 - ???
The next 6 months are going to be interesting ones...4
Customer: We wanna add this thing to that feature. It has to go live with the next deployment (1 1/2 weeks to go)
Me estimating developmenttime, and informing the Management
management: this will take approx. 12h to implement, but we need these informations: [long list of not answered questions]
1 week later (1/2 week left till deployment
customer: okay, lets do it
management: we dont have much time left, what about the questions i sent you?
1 Day no response, 1 1/2 days left until deployment
customer: here you have a few answers. couldnt get the others. ill Send them tomorrow
damn... wtf? guys! i need this shit to Stay in time! cant wait another day! hell no!
Had a legit argument with a manager about the text in a drop down menu. I argued that it should actually state what the option was for because I care about the user experience... Management wanted to conceal several business logic steps behind an unrelated option in the same menu because of a literal interpretation of the process and the client's request.
Interfaces should tell the user what is going on...2
My boss does this management by neglect thing - he is hardly in the office and mostly communicates in slack. Today it got really vague and ambiguous.
So - when 4 people don't understand your slack message - the obvious conclusion is that you hired 4 morons...2
I know this may not be the typical post on Devrant and it may be a little off topic, but I could really use some advice from fellow colleagues here.
The thing is, I just finished engineering school and I got my first job as a software engineer. So far so good. I've never been a natural talent in this field, and I suck at writing code. I find things like architecture, system design, innovation, requirementsspecification, management and business development much more interesting.
These past weeks as a software engineer has been really challenging for me. I seem to be totally "in over my head", and fuck everything up. I can't understand how the code I'm supposed to write works, and can't solve even the simplest of tasks that are assigned to me if they involve any implementation of code, or fiddling with Github or build servers.
Is it normal to feel like this as an engineer with zero experience? Will things get better, or should I just resign or wait to be fired?
What would a natural next step for a software engineer who'd like to move more into business and management be? A MBA? Project management courses?
I hope to get some advice from you guys. Maybe you've felt like this when you started out as well? Anyway, any constructive feedback would be really much appreciated.11
Management wants me to continue building an internal-use dashboard.
and you've guessed it, all functionality to be added will be discussed on-the-fly (so specs keep changing all the time...)...
So now I'm on a strike for this project until I get clear specs
IBM, because I work in there.
Well maybe it wouldn't be as bad if I didn't work at command centre. From the beginning I did my best to get a promotion, but it resulted in me having shitton of workload and no raise. Maybe it's just shitty management tho. But still.
My first real exposure to a PC was when my father and me built one for myself. Y'know, some AMD Athlon 64, some MSI board, 2 GB of RAM, an NVIDIA 8600 GT, everything was nice.
I never put malware on that thing even though I heavily used it for things like games, I was really cautious with that even when I was like 6 years old (but my father once accidentally did, he killed it by damaging the filesystem on the harddrive which, funny enough, only took the malware with it)
I still have that PC, but it now has weird issues with memory management ;-;
So I work for a VPN company as the Info Sec manager long story short I'm not usually the pleb who does customer support.
But today I ended up having to do this. I spent over 1 hour helping a client that a support agent escalated the request for to me. So I figure out that his network adapters are sharing incorrectly.
I fix problem.
He tries to connect.
Denied access so I check our servers for the request and he's blocked.
I think that's odd.....
I check active subscription and this person ISNT A CLIENT THATS ACTIVE....
WHY IS SUPPORT SO IGNORANT.
Why do I have to "grow" into a managerial role? I like doing what I am doing and would like to do it more. Anyone with some serious advice on how to stay relevant in software development with greying hair and without growing into people management?4
I remember it was Friday, 30 minutes before leaving the office when suddenly someone from the upper management directly asked for my help to mass update something as it is important. By that time our CMS is not capable of doing this so I had to do it straight in the live database.
It was an update query and I decided to type the query in notepad first. when i pasted it in the terminal i didn't noticed i missed the "where" part so i mass updated the status of all our records dating 3 years back.
fuck.. please take note it was on a Friday night.4
"Don't go too crazy with the design, this is just quick to get it out, this is a one time deal" - management
Half a year later...
"Well if you would properly design components up front, it wouldn't be so hard to extend the code" - management
Well if there were some sort of god forsaken process in place, with assigned tasks, priorities, iterations, and conventions, maybe everything wouldn't be a last second shit show and there would actually be forward progress on a project instead of throwing shit over the wall and hoping everything lands in the correct places.3
I'm currently working on a feature that no one likes. Everyone knows that it will be removed soon because the users won't understand it, but it still has to be implemented due to client-side Management madness.
Good thing: the contract with this client expires in 3 weeks :)
Currently working on app that is about 10 years old at work. Here’s how today has gone:
Can’t run application locally because the process management engine doesn’t allow access locally, can’t access in development because process management engine doesn’t work here either, can run app in test but waiting on special server access to get the logs.
Make the request to security to access the server - they decline it telling me that the form I submitted is outdated and to submit a new one. Requires three approvals, am still waiting on them.
Every time I make a change and want to test, I have to commit the changes, wait for them to build. Release the changes, build the release project and then deploy it in bamboo.
I can’t wait for my new job to start.1
When the “business guy” insisted on deploying new feature just for the sake of “looking good with the management”,
The guy literally said “so at least it looks like we’re making progress”2
What does it mean when one day you are fighting management on every decision and then suddenly they agree with everything you say?
Have I been victim of brainwashing?3
Was very excited to receive my new work laptop. Everything is in French and I don't even have admin rights!
I guess they trust me with writing SW for their cars but when it comes to customising my own pc a team of IT guys should supervise me.1
Management: ReactNative is great because it is faster!
Me: What else do we get from it?
Management: Facebook made it so it is good!
It was 3 months project, but it takes 9... bad management and the client changed his requirements every weekend. I quit the job after it.1
Today at 'Derp & Co' is the end of the last sprint, no one have close all the task asigned. Myself included.
- that sucks...
Because there are task from previos sprints still in TODO that block other tasks.
But there is more... Yesterday was the deadline of the project. From today and onwards the client get discount.
- oof (but fair to the client)
Management have in mind AT LEAST 4 more weeks of development.
- But... how... wtf?
In 2 weeks part of the hardware we need for the project will return to the client.
- <smash the door and leave>
Management still is asking if we can do it on time...
- yeah... just call the Doctor, we need a TARDIS ASAP2
!Rant But this is hilarious 😂
Appraisal interview of Gayle:
Gayle:- Sir, I scored 211 Runs in 118 Balls. I made the team win the crucial match. I should get “A” rating.
Management:- You hit 17 Sixes and 23 Fours. Though, that is good but that is not something new you have done. That is why we hired you. As this is not something new, I will mark it as “Innovation Lacking”.
Gayle:- But sir, I played according to the situation. I took 21 singles as well.
Management:- Exactly, your performance is not consistent. You played 15 Dot Balls as well. This means, you failed to optimize the resources.
Management:- Also, I would like to mention that you are not a team player. The whole team scored 112 and you all alone made 211.
Management:- Yes. So, overall, you are getting a “C” rating for the year. Improve Consistency, Innovation, Utilization and Team Work...1
My university provides advanced education courses and you'll get certified if you pass them. I'm really interested but I don't have so much time, so which one should I pick?
List of courses I'm interested in:
I'm curious about your suggestions ;)10
I was coding some simple themes for a management system I'm currently working on my job, then I remembered about @Alice and I thought to myself "Fuck it, why not?" and added a subtle pink theme3
Today we were told that management decided that apart from software development we are also responsible for internal IT support, such as helping business with installing programs on their laptops. Yay!4
So sick of my pessimistic, paranoid supervisor. She's always accusing everyone of being spies and has opinions on everyone.... Complains abt management and everything under the sun.... But when management comes in the room... Quiet as a mouse, because in her words ,'I don't wanna fix anything'
THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE U COMPLAINING!?!?
U clearly see nothing wrong and that's why u don't wanna change it
Fucking hate people who endlessly complain1
Being forced to migrate an application written to to run on Solaris 9, which uses Sun ONE Webserver, Netscape LDAP Server and Cold fusion and migrate it to RHEL 7.3 ppc64le before the 3rd of January (I was only told about the project this morning), and I'm told I *have* to use the exact same technologies and versions. I'm on leave for Xmas from the 22 until the 5th of Jan. I know exactly where they can put their arbitrary management deadlines.2
Don't you just love it when a department buys a software for the company without consulting IT and Data Management departments? You know to discuss integration, flexibility, compatibility and all that?
Don't you love it even more when the users of this new software then complain about the different tools that have to learn and the workflow being completely scattered?
But hey, they work in administration, so I'm sure they know what they are doing. ⚡⚡⚡4
Normally you would have:
In the company (30-50 workers) we only have:
- SysOps (they don't know how to deploy apps beyond FTP to a webhost either)
I tried to propose to them that I handle DevOps and teach it to others, so we can deploy code that we deem "production ready" in a more proper manner...
They rather stick to "just use FTP to push any changes we made directly to the production server and test changes there"5
If you look at some of my rants ~2017.12.30 you can see that I f*** up a project's dependency management. After multiple days of failing to fix the issue, I ended up makeing a new project and starting over( with copy and paste, of course). And it works. To this day, I still don't know why It didn't work in the old project.1
Is it common practise to get entirely shafted but management?
Every single time anyone from management or anyone senior and non-technical is in a meeting with a client they completely take over and monopolise everything, even dev related stuff. With literally no expertise, skill or experience of the field...
In what possible metric are they the person qualified to be doing that?
If I've agreed a design and everything with a client, we get on well and we've generally come to the same conclusion about a lot of stuff. A nosy manager coming in and spewing a ton of crap up doesn't fucking help.
It makes everything a million times worse. Can they just fuck off please?3
Management has bequeathed that it shall hit prod tomorrow, the developers cry 'but it's not ready`. Hush little dev for tomorrow we hit another payment milestone
Management: "You are the DBA and BI head right?"
Management: "Awesome, so that means you can develop a quick software for me to use? It's really easy!"
Me: "Awesome, here are two options since its easy, you go make it yourself or..."
Management: "Is that sarcasm?"
Me: "...or you can ask the accountant to make it"
IT Director: "you deserved that bob."
At 1pm,The fucking boss told me to get UI design and code for a risk management system be ready on 5pm, i DID it!!! Requires no changes or edits!!! Its done!!!
Shit fuck shit!!!!1
One last feature and I’ll be done with a project holy fuck. I’m so fucking close just one more class and it’s done and I can move on to something I like a little more.2
- have a look at the project
- brake it down into smaller stories
- estimate the time
- multipy it with 1.5
- add 1-3 days of testing
- add 15% project management
- add a 2 days buffer
= be happy with being done in 2 weeks, present it in 4
I'm a 18 year old student doing IT Management and ATM I have group assignment that the group wants me to do alone, its not even 8 AM and I'm already drinking a double espresso and I'm very close to getting a beer3
When you work for a week day and night to compete a feature, because top management said it's the highest priority. Then when you're about to send it off to test, they tell you it is no longer required.2
Very conflicted about ProductHunt.
On one hand, love seeing all the new little productivity tools and SaaS tools with really nice UI. Fairly inspiring.
On the other hand, sometimes they can be complete cringe over there. It almost seems like a cult sometimes and they are way too enthusiastic about even the most boring things
ProductHunt: "This new productivity tool 🚀 will absolutely 🎉 change your life 😛. it is DISRUPTING 💪🏼 team management."1
So I was told to look into a new project management tool to replace our home grown one that must be free, decided on visual studio team services because we all have msdn so it's free. We just got everything migrated and we've been using it very successfully for the past few months and it's honestly made task management so much easier.
Get back from vacation and my company just spent $100k on sales force agile accelerator... 😑 I don't understand how upper management works1
Note to management:
Throwing more $$$ at the problem will not help the fact that you picked the wrong software. It will never do what you want it to and it will never smoothly integrate with our current ERP. Maybe next time you should spend the money upfront on a better system and not buy the cheap system that requires expensive customizations to bring it to the point where it sorta kinda works.
Thank you for listening.
Was called on site because my client was having a problem with a system I developed years ago, a LAN based management system. The horror came when I asked for the most recent backup. It was only two years old..
Today, my manager received a brand new Macbook pro with all its cool features while I am still stuck using an old Macbook pro (mid 2012 model). I always complained him about performance issues and all he did was to approve an OS upgrade (to Sierra). How does that even enable me to be productive? I am already running applications at the peak of the machine limits. Sometimes, the JVM crashes and other time Node.js runs out of heap space.
The manager is not a programmer. All he really does is attend online meetings, track and report to management, and write emails. Ideally, he would need a Mac Air or perhaps a Windows machine. I still wonder how did the company management allowed this. He is simply misusing his privileges as a manager and I can do nothing about it.2
Me: Ok, this sounds like a good idea, however we need to consult the Act to ensure we're not breaking any laws by requesting this new information and making it mandatory.
Boss: I am trying to ensure good database management and data design principles, why can't you just agree with me?
Me:... I agree with you... But changing up the process like this may put us in hot water, let's just check to ensure we're good on the legal front --
Boss: The law is just a guide. My primary concern and your concern should be the design of this database and ensuring we stick to good data management principles!
Me and other technical staff: 👀6
Hi fellow devranters,
Just started working for a small engineering company ~10 employees. They have a single guy that have done most og the development work and version control management. Turns out everything was stored om his personal harddrive with a backup on an USB drive. I'm doing the "dirty work" on porting the version control to a network drive. Not ideal, but the boss was insisting on doing it this way. Have anybody encountered anything like this?2
I was doing an asset management project for the CTO of a small company in ASP.NET and the CTO decided to stick his crap smeared fingers into the development because he 'developed' a completely different AS/400 system which everyone complained was like having a dog smear it's balls all over your screen while taking a dump on your keyboard. Fucking idiot would have given me 2 weeks extra work with all the shit he broke if it wasn't for version control.
I hate filling out status reports, so I build a generator which collected all the data from the dev and ticket systems and formatted it so all I had to do was copy the output and then provide “management friendly” notes.4
FUCK YOU!!! HOW CANT YOU SEE THAT EVERY TIME I SUGGEST TO SEPARATE OUR FUCKING WORKFLOW WITH FRONT END/BACK END AND TRY TO INTRODUCE AT LEAST SOME MANAGEMENT TO THIS SHIT HOLE ITS MY WAY OF SAYING: look dude, I like it here but fuck you shit face if I have to deal with this fucking CSS bullshit one more time there are going to be delays everywhere ...
Fuck you CSS.1
In an IT management class, the professor wanted us to estimate the operation costs for a small IT company, breaking them down by service offered. I remember creating a markdown file, multiple times executing the line `echo $RANDOM >> estimations.md`. We rounded the numbers slightly, pimped the document a bit and submitted a nice PDF. When we had to present our work, the professor asked us how we had proceeded to calculate those results. We told him a story about an Excel file we worked on, but did not submit, because we thought he'd be interested in the end result and not care about those details. He asked us to submit that Excel calculation, because he wanted to comprehend our method. So we got together, created an Excel sheet, copied our "estimations" into column C and called it "service cost". For column B, we used the same "cost per man hour" value (scientifically estimated using the RAND() function) for every row. Finally, we divided the "service cost" by the "cost per man hour" for every row, put the result in column A and called it "effort (in man hours)". The professor, being able to "reproduce" our estimation, accepted our solution.2
So, after day 3 of Rust programming I have an observation to make:
Rust package management (and conflicts that arise) is not very good.
To the rusters out there, am I wrong? Is there something to make it better?19
Project management 101:
1) For a new project, pretend it is similar to a project in currently in development
2) Proudly state that everything can be copied from the older project, so the schedule of the new can be tightened
3) Calculate the new schedule based on the "just copy and paste" effort.
4) Now the new project will be finished before the older project
5) Enjoy the applause from upper management for the successful project that hasn't even begun yet.
No, this does not belong in the joke category.
That's gonna be fun...2
In the last 24 hours I have been handed 3 tasks that are to be done on priority.
While my current queue will take upto a week to clear of, nobody thought of it.
When I'll present my time estimate for the completion of the new priority tasks, and when the deadline for the remainder of the tasks will be pushed back, I'll be asked a very simple question.
"WHY IS IT TAKING SO LONG?"
C++. Damn the pointers. It's because I learned Java before C++ and the memory management in C++. I don't get it ever, the object creation, memory allocation, deallocation and everything6
So, in a school project we use BaseCamp for project management.
When discussing about using it I was about to say that I know the guy who built it - but then I remembered he was just in the devRant podcast and I actually don't know him at all!1
If I did the dirty work and you just popped up every hour to ask if I'm ready to demo for management, you're not supposed to call it collaboration.3
I went to a meeting full of business senior management and IT senior management and proceeded to dress them down for treating me and my team like code monkeys. I was quite pointed in my criticism. Now, I'm just trying to deliver to minimize the blowback. I was right, but not my finest example of communication.
Meeting about brand new web app system to replace an ancient MFC app.
director: can we just use the old subsystem manager? (horrible mix of management ui and SOAP listeners in the same app...)
developers: No, that's an MFC app... not even just a server.
director: but... can't you just plug it in? you're using web components right?
developers: *weary sigh*
How many of you wear shades at work?
I started doing it after I faced some problems due to the extremely bright lights. It's such a complicated problem that no one in the management or admin team can do anything about it. 🙄13
the current ERP software i test has a function that, when you dont have the USB dongle plugged in, it will annoy the workflow with a popup where you have to solve simple math stuff. (Like 2041+949). I am kinda inclined to write a small programm that insta solves those pop ups.
I must note, this is a weird way of licence management.1
I feel like the better you are technically, the worse you'll fare career wise. I've seen it, people who are really good at software engineering rarely make much money. On the other hand, people who have a 'technical background', and go into management, do far better.
It's almost as the transferable skills from I.T. pay far better than the actual I.T. skills themselves.
Is it highly likely that, those at high position of management are more greedy of money and posses less ethics and values, than those who actually build the company ie engineers ?
I had seen, it's always the top management who get away from mistakes/ issues but generally it's those who develop the company at core i.e. engineers again, are sidelined or considered responsible for the mistake, when management don't know a shit about anything, or sometimes engineers just follow what management says and management fucks their asses wide even if the management did something wrong.
Who do you think actually build companies/product. Engineers or management or marketers/sales people, who eats fat cheques ??
I remember from silicon valley, when hooli reverse engineered Richards idea and developed their own prototype named Nucleus. Pushed their engineers to beat pipe Piper and when their product turns out to be awfully terrible and extremely fucked like a burned dick with broken balls, they just fired their entire nucleus division5
Started a new job this week, picking up the front end development of a property management system, since they're old developer just left.
Oh my god was his code bad, inconsistent use of js versions e.g only sometimes using lambda for anonymous functions, variable names that were a single letter, no comments, no documentation, and over 30000 lines split into almost 30 js files, following the logic of it is as fun as a hedge maze with no exit.2
When I signed up for my job as Senior DevOps, I didn't realize it was going to be 90% VPN and Subnet management. Time to brush off my Cisco books !2
I know why group work sucked in school. It was a missed opportunity to teach project management and accountability. We’re almost always left to sort it out ourselves.
How hard it is percieved by management to do something in code is proportional to whether or not it's a task that sales or the CEO wants, versus what the developers need. Developers want to rewrite something, or fix infrastructure? Too much work can't justify it. Sales wants to clone Google Search? We'll expect it by next month.1
Pretty much after couple of years of entering the real world I lost faith, not because I found myself not able to cope and learn but the amount of chaos and closed minded people that you face everyday pushed me to pursue my MBA.
Now I'm slowly drifting away to the management part because I've had enough with this, its just not worth it. I'll keep development for self entertainment in personal projects, and nothing more.
Shitty co-workers. From bad management to lazy colleagues I've had it all, and all of it pushes me to be better than they are.1
I like react, I really do. But one thing I hate about it, is the number of decisions I need to make, I get so fucking confused whether to use redux thunk or sagaas, inline styles or styles components, redux or flux, even to judicially choose whether to use a state management library or not. It just lack of my own experience or don't know what. But this thing sucks2
So.. I have an itil exam tomorrow and every time I start reading I get angry because all I can think of is that there was someone who thought it would be cool to create an abnormal amount of management services and also created his own cool hipster abbreviations to make things even more complicated.
That was all I have to say. Goodbye and have a lovely day!3
Session Management in HTML/PHP be Like:
JUST PUT THAT FUCKING SESSION ID AS HIDDEN INPUT IN EVERY FUCKING FORM!!!
BECAUSE WHY NOT JUST SPAM IT WHY IS THERE NO GOOD FUCKING WAY TO HIDE A SESSION KEY WITHOUT COOKIES5
My work's website being unsupported with Django security patches. I bring this up with management and say we should upgrade ASAP. Apparently that wasn't possible because the sysadmins refused to upgrade their old version of RedHat so we can't use anything that doesn't support Python 2.6.... To this day it still runs on Django 1.6.2
In SQL Management Studio, why is the Identity Specification so low in the column properties list?! It's so annoying to scroll and find it.
Is this punishment for using the GUI?1
Company logic: "we need a new software manager for the program. This guy has worked on every piece of our product. Including as team lead of one of the teams. But wait he has never signed time cards. We better bring in this guy who has been in the company less than a year and is a known job shopper to do it instead."
Long story short, I am getting a new software manager that knows nothing about our product. Fun4
I have made a lot of small changes in my app like minor bug fixes, Animation, optimizations, better database management, new options, overall interface improvements, ... to give the application a better overall appearance. Then I decide to show it to my Client.
"From what I can tell, you haven't done much since last time"1
Boss complains this morning about having to go to a Cubs game, and even calls it a "First world problem." (outing with management and client).
We're super behind on a lot of things, most of us are busy coding, and he sends us a photo from the game to our Slack channel.2
Is it asking too much that a state agency use any kind of naming convention in their data management? I've come across about 7 different column names that all contain a value representing the number of students. Trying to decide whether I should send a deluge of tickets at their help system by submitting a ticket for every single row that contains any type of error.1
I have been developing this bias in my mind about people with MBA degrees/ Management roles.
Like for example, I can't deal with my managers who has no programming expertise, but they are there just because they have a huge work ex(idk in sitting and playing on phone?) or have an MBA degree.
I feel in a tech company; management, ppt, excel people should be eliminated. I'm not saying all the roles but just a few who have little to no contribution.
When a team works on it's own and delivers and maintains the system. It's these managerial people who take credits. It's these people who get hikes more than necessary.
For years, developers are treated like call center people, like sheeps, they aren't valued, and are highly underpaid!
Do you think MBA people will be jobless if we empower developers to the point where we won't need MBA degree holders with "Time Management" as their core skills written in LinkedIn Profiles?
What makes Managerial roles so special?
Correct me if my bias is wrong.
P.S. This whole rant was about MNC's in India. I can't tell for other countries.1
Identifying when to start a project over because it has gotten out of hand with workarounds and memory management issues.
My last exam in this semester will be tomorrow on engineering management. I didn't learn much for it yet because I started learning angular 2 and keep working on a new sideproject with it.. If I fail my next semester will cost a large sum of money but I still can't gather enough will power.. HELP!3
What progress have you made?
Well today we hand crafted ... a new lie about the apps we are writing. Customers should eat this one up.
Exercise and sports are good ways of relax and get some discipline. Writting, either blog posts or simply for yourself improves your communication skills. On the communication side, I've specially noticed that I improved by doing talks (dev and no-dev) even if it wasn't for and audiance of more than 30. Games also helped me with problem solving and management. There's a lot a stuff 😅
What I've learned from working on side projects is that distraction is caused by poor time management and planning skills. Why is this realization so important? Because it applies to every area of your life. Just think about it.
Cause there's no really safe solution for that right now, finally release my favorite and verifiable secure linux password management tool for the web and as apps for iOS, Android and Windows Phone - including online synchronization, so you can access your passwords anywhere. (Web and Android first, the other platforms later).
At the moment it is still a pure gpg based Linux terminal application.2
I made a point to the management that people are unnecessarily reworking things and throwing away. And all products should have a product owner and they should give requirements. So the management called the same guy(who fucking does pointless rewrites in the name of code cleanup) and said come up with a solution. The guy came with a solution of Agile + Jira and a whole fucking process behind it. So guess what, we are having pointless meetings when we can just finish and ship deliverables.
The management successfully founded an efficient way to effectively waste time. Kuddos.4
How do you do bootstrapping of blanko machines?
Imagine you get a linux/BSD/osx machine and you want it set it up to a defined state to be prepared for further setup.
Config management client or credentials
Software like vim, htop and tmux
A simple shell script sounds a bit archaic to me and i was wondering, if there is a better way...
Makefiles also came to my mind but still... Unsatisfactual4
Don't you just love it when there is no formal spec. you get a few mspaint slides and told a delivery date, scope and slides are changed by management weekly, not necessarily informing you of it. Then when your failing, deadlines pass you by you still have no clear spec 2 weeks before release, partial backend because core business devs are busy doing support on the legacy systems. No frontend cause it's been changed, redesigned and you've been forced to change frameworks and technology so many times due to corporate policy and legacy systems with another dev group holding your balls with what they allow you to do and use. Id complain but at least we've been told to be agile. This is my life now, we lost all hope and stopped caring. And management wonders why the deadlines and estimates are all off.2
Things You Learn After A While #464:
Tasks take as long as they take.
Then one week, everything lines up, you're in a groove, make almost no mistakes, and get your shit written in half the time it normally takes.
Management now considers this the standard of timeliness and gets upset when tasks take a normal amount of time.
Moral: Always make sure you take at least as long as you said it would take to complete a task.1
I was hired 2 years ago to replace someone who was retiring after 10+ years with the company. I was up to speed quickly and have improved my processes and product in ways appreciated by many others, but mine is a position everyone is glad to have and glad they aren't doing it! I feel rather inconsequential, especially since being neglected by management has become a comfort in that I've already turned my attention to opportunities outside the company and look forward to "putting in my time" without taking on new responsibilities until I can score a job in programming/development/product management.
I stop doing things I don't care about.
If it's low motivation to do my job, I look at why. Am I tired? Do I dislike the kind of work? Does it feel like it's not going to help?
First, I make sure I'm actually doing alright. Usually, I'm just tired or maybe sick. Then I'll raise my concerns to management. There's a good chance that I'm not working on something meaningful and that we should change that.
Transferred a lot of important files in between PC with a 32 GB thumbdrive. One time, when I needed it the most, it couldn't read. It had the original up-to-date information on everything. Backup files were old and found in either emails, in another PC somewhere else and on an ex-colleagues laptop that, due to poor office management, lost track of where that laptop is.
So a page has been sending errors for long, but we weren't able to find any way to debug it, no error code, and I don't have the authorization to see the logs so I had to wait for a co-worker to be back from holidays.
Now that they're here, I could have a chance to find what was the error.
And be really annoyed about it.
The error was provoked because the security system found a tautology in the data I sent.
(I send datas to build the page, and one parameter is called "Page". Since it was a page of management, I've sent "Gestion", which is management in French. So I sent "Page=Gestion", the security saw "ge=Ge" in it, poof, tautology, you shall not pass.)
That is so ridiculous.
Those 'HR tools'. 'Workforce Management'.
Once the company commits to it, they stay in use long after their interfaces have become clunky, their features outdated. Pretty bad UX.
Expense reports. Time Sheets. Leave Applications.
I'm looking at you, Kronos. >.<
Coworker 1 starts project
Coworker 2 inherits same project
*repeat 3 more times*
Coworker n has no idea what this spaghetti code is and what it does since everyone has done quick fixes as per management requirements.
This is how the company where i work functions. And with all these projects going from one dev to the other i can tell you its a real shitshow and a lot if frustration 😤2
Our senior developer just quit, he's eyeing me and our backend guy to be his replacement (I'm more into front end, project management) this is our first time to take the full responsibility, most of the time we share responsibility with our senior dev.
Any advice how to adjust in this situation, I know it's inevitable but it will help if I can get something to share with my co-senior5
I think it involves a great amount of determination and time management skills.
I've learnt to manage my time wisely. I pretty much run my whole life on a bullet journal, it works for me.
I might wanna make a bullet journal app one day so that I can finally be happy with a digital bullet journal without excessive features.
And to all out there working on a side project right now, good luck..!2
I really liked w10 before all of this crazy updates rolled up.
The ram and process management was ok, the presentation was slick and they got the multiple desktop feature that I liked from debian... But my pc just can't handle it anymore! There isn't a single win exclusive software that I'm attached to enough to not go back to linux.
Starting tomorrow, grub is going to greet me in every boot once again 😊7
Communicated 50% more time than I actually estimate for a new feature because the management usually thinks it can be done faster than estimated.
Actually got that 150% approved so I have enough time to write some bad ass beautiful code with unit tests and documentation 😳
Seems like good things actually happen..1
Having a tight deadline and management keeps on adding developers with zero domain knowledge to get it done.
You should have seen my managers face when i asked him if he bakes a cake twice as fast if he doubles his ovens temperature.
Memory debugging iOS probably makes me more anxious and stressed out than anything. I have put 11
hours into attempting to figure out this crash, but still no progress. It's like I can feel management breathing down my neck to get it done asap. You ever get so stressed out while trying to figure something out at work?3
When the management idea of management is to do it yourself. The answer to the question what requirements exist. "Your smart guys, you can figure it out"
I think it was very useful for developing soft skills like time management, teamwork, dealing with failures, the willingness to learn and how to approach a problem, etc.
It's not about learning a technology or programming language super good and be the C++ or Web expert after finishing your degree. It's about self organization and problem solving IMO.
Why is AWS so opaque? Every time I run into a new awkwardly name service I have to parse some redundant management speak to figure out what it does. Does it really matter to anyone that their services have special names with words like "Simple"?
So I have been using IntelliJ for two weeks now. Still failing to see how this is superior to Eclipse. It has crashed or locked up multiple times, makes dependency management needlessly complicated and the UI just plain doesn’t make sense. I don’t see anything here that makes this software worth $60 per month when my free software does everything yours does, but better.
Everyone on my team who is being forced to use it hates it and the money our company is paying for it could be used for better things like toilet paper with more than one ply.4
Our team moved to scrum a while back. But everybody still does story point estimation by mentally assigning 1 story point for each day of work it would require. :/
On top of that, management compares the performance of two *different* scrum teams based on the story points they finish in a sprint. ://
The lack of appreciation (from the user/management side) as a backend developer and DevOp is frustrating sometimes. But having nice colleagues who value your work makes it worthwhile.
The larger the company, the less money they spend on softwares. Ultimately at a large enterprise: "Do it for free, becasue we didn't calculate this in the budget. But obviously we already sold the solution to the high management with next week as a go-live date..."1
Anyone from Service Based IT Companies.? How much it really sucks to convince everyone around you about the idea you want to implement, but it cannot because the client is not happy and if he is not happy the management is also not happy. Its like we are chained to the chairs and systems, not letting us look at the outside world, where elegant solutions exists for smiple problems.
To start of I'm a student in the Netherlands, I have just finished finished a support management study and I'm currently starting with a IT Management study on MBO 4 lvl.
At the moment I'm in conflict scout doing the IT Management study or doing a application development study as I just don't know what to do. I kind of want do development as I do it in my free time and I like it but I also want to do data center engineering as I also like to work with the hardware.
Should I take a month break of my study and try to get in contact with company's to work there to finalize my decision or should I just drop in the towel and do this study without knowing if I'm going to like it in the end.
And if you work at a company in the Netherlands do you think i can do some orientation internship at your company or do you guys know some places to look at.
I've been wondering about the difficulties and security risk of allowing web apps to interact with native functions, such as file management. What would be the difference of letting web apps access native functions, and native apps doing it? I mean, we can already request access to features such as camera and microphone?
Boss: I want you to create a document management application
Me: that would be take a lot of time and it is better if you use an already created app for that
Me: because my partner and I have never done one before and we are just a beginners
Boss: shouldn't be a problem...
Both of us: (really?)
Why is it that people start to care about quarterly objective key results only at the end of a quarter?
You know, those stretch goals decides by management grounded on wishful thinking rather than realistic planning.
I should plan my vacation on the last weeks of the quarters.
About to start writing a report for my programming languages course, I’m writing it over GoLang, If anybody has any good resources for any information on Go, let me know!
The report extends into the history, paradigms, features, memory management system, and anything else I can possibly find on this language. I can find some pretty decent references on the footer of Wikipedia, but I wanted to see if anybody who actually used Go had anything they’d like to share.
Another team doesn't have time to add a batch endpoint to their service... Instead of having our team add it and submit a PR management wants a whole new microservice with one endpoint that queries the other services database directly.
Develop all the heck u want. Make a release note with all the details.Still the IT guys at the clients end need solution for issues like this.The freaking cause is written in the error itself. Still calling the developer for this puny issue when u have ur own so called database team.That too on a fucking weekend/festival even after discussing with my management that go live will be done on the next monday....
Why do management want features from a version, which has not yet completed and delivered in an hour. New lowere\sub version and take element from future version. Hope it works. Happy1
So I'm close to my degree after 7 years (university minimum is 4) and some personal hardship and I am on my final assignment. A warehouse management system for a hospital. In NetBeans. An easy job with little to none challenge.
I wonder what's it like elsewhere. What kind of assignments did you have?4
EVP handed us a packet for some salesforce "low code application" and "citizen developer" bullshit. What is this garbage? Who's trying to weasel into my space? Now we are obliged to learn and use this restrictive "low code" framework instead of doing what we already know, because management types and IT guys cannot compile C#.
So my friends USB drive suddenly doesn't work. It shows up in Windows' device manager (with no exclamation sign) but not in My Computer or even Disk Management (So I can't partition it) Reinstalling drivers doesn't work either. When trying to mount it in Linux, Linux complains that it can't see the drive. fsck and gparted don't read it either, but it shows up in lsblk. Dmesg complains it can't read the partition table (error -110). Any of you guys have bright ideas? Nothing like this has shown up in SO before so I've asked in both here and SO. Any ideas?12
Not using front-end caching and etags because holy ncs database calculates global etags. A senior engineer fixed it but management told him not to spend time on such a problem.
Our management just won't get what UX is, they call us User Experience Developers building User Experience applications with User Experience frameworks (meaning, Angular). FFUUUU, I'm a webdeveloper. YOU_DONT_DEVELOP_UX.... Just because angular looks better than the standard Oracle Crap doesn't make it UX. >.>3
my primary goals are:
Continue to learn and improve my developer skills.
Learn and be better at system analysis (through dealing with customers) and system designTo move towards a team lead position.
Learn project management
Learning about the company to find where I can make a contribution from a business perspective rather than just an IT perspective
The Economists department where I'm getting a PhD announced a 'great' job opportunity in the State Manufacturing Federation. It seemed truly great, it was an interest job and it required every single ability I've been developing over these years: coding, database management, statistical analysis, geoprocessing and making of maps... But the salary was offensively low. That day I realized how much I'm valued in the market. *sigh*
Management wanted all features finished by close of business yesterday to start testing before a demo next week.
I started work at 8am to get my task out of the way early. Unfortunately there was another persons task that mine was dependant on. I kept telling people it needed to be merged so i could integrate it with my changes.
It was merged at 5pm.
I was still fixing merge conflicts at 8pm. 😑1
When IT/project management is like some ideology that works out on the paper but everyone is too stupid to implement it properly.
Okay, I've been thinking on this all week.
Microsoft Office (All of it)
Adobe Creative Cloud (Only The Management Software / Installer)
What's up with recruiters calling the office? Today, a coworker got a call from a recruiter. 5 minutes later I got a call from a lady from an IT Management consulting company asking me if I'm the right person to talk to which I'm quite obviously not (she apparently sent me an email last week, which, if I got it, marked as spam).
In my last job several recruiters called; how could I even talk open on the phone -.-
Nothing like IT you're using actually being competent after you broke something (or more accurately pulling a pin that you didn't realize would blow up in your face).
Was dealing with a issue in the learning management system, decided to check a checkbox, ended up with every student receiving 1000% in the class. Went to our LMS support, said "oops I broke it", and they resolved it in 2 hours, and did what I was hoping for at the end anyways.1
If you ever get tasked with something you don't know how to do, know that it is never your fault. The management, team lead or HR screwed up.1
So, on Thursday I rant about the developer before me and his last project.
Just now decided the database needs to be restructured and management said just put it on hold!
I wasted two days, instead of working my actual project.
I used a PHP procedural method of Library Management System, is it still deserve to upload it online?6
I graduated college with double degrees in literature and marketing management. Web and software development and design was a hobby that became my way of life and eventual career path. I guess it's more of a challenge than a hurdle, not having a formal IT education as a foundation, but I'm happy to have learned a lot from my colleagues over the years to better myself as a dev in practice, if not in academics.4
Fucking fucks that look over your fucking shoulder and tattle on you to fucking management, instead of having a pair and talking to me about it. Apparently checking a phone is a no no.. I'm on overtime this week and I have this stupid kindergarten horseshit to deal with.. FUCKING FUCKERS1
Somewhat dev related (behavioral interview)? Just thought it was funny.
Team of 2 developers expected to build a new company website with a dashboard to manage it without having to know development, an internal social media management dashboard, and a phone number provisioning/call reporting dashboard for both clients and internal. All while managing the normal day to day workflow of working for a digital marketing agency. Expected in 7 weeks.1
Has anyone used Trello for project management? If yes, what are your thoughts on it? Would it be good for a small IT/Dev team?3
When you discover a rather big security flaw in a mate code and your boss tell you that he might fix it for "version 2", for now we are good. Wtf, we are just hurting ourselves if this shit gets discovered by some other guy.
We are developing an android app for management and selling, for other company and we are a litte short in time for finishing the first version, but fuck, its a big security flaw.
Three days out from a field trial, I receive a bug report and change request. A month ago I was told that testing had been completed and the feature set signed off.
Not only have all our manufacturers received their hardware images, not only have they fulfilled our orders but all units have been delivered to our customers!!
After pointing all of this out I hear that wonderful phrase all Devs know and love, "well how hard can it be?"
"Well how hard can it be to flash all of the hardware?"
That has been delivered to all of our customers?
In every state?
All over the whole country?
When Client insists on making Excel what it is not... Implementing a management dashboard in Excel which source are at least 7 other workbook, that correlate...
Not even VBA is easing things here...
!Rant - web dev prompt
Currently experimenting with time management so figured I'd try setting up both Basecamp and Toggl. It's for a school project and involves a basic CMS (php CRUD etc).
Is it overkill?2
Production issue happens, to get into server to investigate - first write a brief description of the issue, get management approval, then find 2 administrators who each holds half the password to the server, web conference them to key in password on a remote utility, finally, log in to troubleshoot.
It is a problem to troubleshoot a problem.1
Any Django devs willing to give a guy a hand with some query management?
Trying to see how far it's possible to go with optimisation and such. I'm building out a lightweight CMS and would like it to be able to handle a lot of pages with as minimal query time as possible. The ORM is fantastic but if there's a better way that people have found I'd love to hear it.
Django 2.1 for reference.
Thanks in advance,
A Junior Pythonista
"All Tech Projects Run Over Budget"
I was on a nice streak of being calm for a while and then this article just dropped today. Fuck management and fuck whichever dumbass wrote this piece of shit.
Is anyone else pissed off at this? It makes it sound like software engineers are slow and never on time, and the main reason for a project's failure is the inability of programmers to meet deadlines. I find this a little sus, especially as it's written by someone in a management position.
I would argue that projects fail because:
1. Management takes the very feasible timeline given to them and throws it out the window, opting to impose impossible deadlines instead, because FUCK your employees right?
2. Clients have requirements that can't be met (I agree w/ this from the article, but not the part about developers not accounting for issues--I always do this and everyone I know does this)
3. Technical Debt arising from when management tells the software engineers to *just do it this way because it's cheaper*
The calculator they made is nice but it's also quoting estimates that I and everyone I've spoken to agree with, so this is clearly not a software engineer problem, it's a fucking management problem. "Budget" = accounting's job.
That being said, the "take their quote and triple it" part had me dead...1
Hughe amount of frustration here...when taking care of two students just at the end of their bachelor thesis plus doing a mayor system upgrade with lots of test users plus introducing a new management collaboration platform with trainings to the users...all in one month: you can't just do any of it the right way!!
Best coworkers I had on my last project. I learnt from all of them and we were a large team but we all had a holistic view on how software should be made and the standard of quality that we should meet. It was great just a shame management above us didn't realize what they had and ruined such an incredible team.
Friend of mine works at an Apple store. He works on iPhones but wants to move to a new job. He texts me asking about fleet Management and such; then I shit you not he texts me asking me how to use Slack, and where he can learn it.
Say what you want about npm and node_modules, it is much better than other package management systems like pip.
Least I don't need to create an entirely new installation of nodejs every time I want to build something new that might depend on some packages that depends on an 0.0.1 version lower of another package that is used by a different project I currently have to also maintain.
P.s. I do love python overall and it's ecosystem, the package management and version control are sheer garbage.2
F-word with three consecutive U-letters! SQL Management Studio just crashed, just when I had finished a nice script, that I hadn't of course saved yet. I must say SQL Management Studio hardly ever crashes, can't even remember the last time that happened before this. Wonder if it has anything to do with the plugin SQL Complete that I installed just recently? SQL Complete also has the annoying habit of displaying a popup every time SQL Management Studio is started, with a delay just long enough so you have already got started with something when you're interrupted by that popup. No, I'm not going to upgrade a piece of software that behaves maliciously!15
Are you able to imagine working on group project without VCS and project management software like Jira?
You don't have to imagine it, just go on my university where people would most preferably use notepad and pendrives to share files.
Gotta say, that's an interesting experience.
Fucking shit, i just spent 20 minutes debuggin why saving a model was not working, turns out i was only fetching specific models to being with.
(SQL Management studo kept crashing and was not bothered to look into it, so i was not checking the database either)
I've finally setup a dedicated Docker box with RancherOS and Rancher... Shipyard looked nice as well (the simplicity like beautiful) but the cloud management with Rancher is amazing!
It took me minutes to install the OS, minutes to install Rancher, then on my phone it took minutes to install Jenkins with swarm support!
I'm loving this!
Exploring different possible solutions for a problem, eventually you or management decide on the way to go, now I should delete the other code I wrote while exploring, but thinking, "ok I may not need it now, but who knows what might come up, let me comment it out until the end of the project when I am certain that it is no longer needed."
Is anybody else bothered by Slack? The way they handle account management and channels bothers me. It solved a problem that didn't exist, and now it has become this ecosystem so many people/organizations are over reliant on.
I feel like AIM had better features in the early 00's.1
a thing I heard from ops: installing this library update breaks how we manage updates. so let us not update. and use the old libraries that have security issues and don't work with code. we can not change our configuration management tool or update it either. because we have been using it for 15 years.4
when my team leader gives me task to fix things about very badly written project (which is written by me and forced by lead with very bad project management), my chest pain starts, at first it was just 3sec angery but with time it became something like nightmare, i almost feel angry for 2 days, having chest pain and almost can't sleep because of it, don't let the ignorant people to take over a project you are in1
Mu first two bosses were cool. Always defended us when top management come down. Will show with evidence that it is others (non-IT personnel in other departments) are clearly at fault and not us. But when they leave, will tear us a new one because lets face it, we were not that innocent 😅. Still, always kept us clean and out of trouble from the big guys.
My first job was through a technology "Graduate Training Program" at a large bank. We were sold on the job being told that there would be a month of corporate training before getting to work. You know, stuff like presentation skills and Myers Briggs and actual useful stuff. And yeah, they did have that for like two days of the month.
The rest was the most bullshit work to basically kiss-ass to upper management. Having to analyze their commercials and explain how amazing they were and why (they sucked). Explaining a portion of the business to upper management.. you know- the business they knew because they are executives in it- but it had to be "fun". We were stuck making board games and rap songs to these things to make an ass of ourselves in front of executives.
Then after that I was stuck working on VB6 programming with a Cobol mainframe backend. So fucking awful.
I first try to figure out why I really want to build this and (if the project is intended that way) why someone would use it.
Then I strip the idea down to its bare minimums so I know what I should build for it to be of any value.
And then I start building until I no longer think it's worth working on the project.
I am kind of surprised to see that in a world where cloud and apis become more and more leading, there isn't really a commonly accepted and flexible api management platform.
There are some cloud based platforms out there that can be configured using some interface but why is it like that? Surely you aren't going to deploy multiple versions of your core with different platforms right?
That's where my latest project comes in. I want to create an on-prem api management platform which you configure to work with your api during development. Then you can deploy it to any infrastructure alongside your core api.
This way you:
- are not bound to a specific cloud
- don't have to worry about security and firewalls
- get user management and rate limiting for free
I will probably create a collab for this once the platform is mature enough.1
I've been finding it harder and harder to balance both project management and development.
I frequently find that I don't have enough time to manage both.
Sometimes you just wish you could be two people.
so, a new day, a new ERP software to rant about:
this one features an email feature (heh) but with a catch.
only pop3, no imap, if you want ssl the software suggest that you use a 3rd party program, also every user has to be logged in by the admin cause they assume the sysadmin knows all passwords cause he has "password lists"
i called them to ask why their software is what it is, they answer "there was never a need to develop an IMAP functionality, SSL would be so much work and it never became a problem that the sysadmin didnt know all passwords"
in unrelated news, does anyone know a nice sub 100K ERP software with CRM, Material Management and Offer/Order Management that runs on a local server and offers german support for a company in the 50 to 500 worker bracket?
...tfw management shifts your priorities suddenly, for the next 2 days, and it requires that you completely alter your environment from what you have been building up for the last two weeks...
Hi Hi fellow devs and sysadmins hiding in the dark,
In august of next year I need to do my final internship for my IT Management Study in The Netherlands. My study level is between the US Community College and Associate Degree.
As you can see from the tags I'm looking for a International internship as I'm looking for experience and a challenge but its annoying and pretty hard to find something on the internet due to all of the places that "help you find a place" that ask 4.5 EUR.
So I wanted to ask you guys for help, I'm looking as you can guess for a IT Management internship and I have a slight preference to Asia(With very big preference to Japan) due to interest in the culture.
If you guys know of any places in your company or other places I would love to hear and if you have tips please share them.
Marcel aka inpothet3
It took a front end dev (me), a backend dev and the founder to figure out some Apache rewrite rules. Why is server management so stupidly complex?2
Well... mmc.exe got blocked today after an update...
Microsoft management console that is... And a bunch of other stuff with it... Like device manager....
Eventually resorted to gpedit and even so I still can't print (🙃🙃).
Getting a fucking Mac with the idiotic touchbar and the ridiculously low ram tomorrow (for real).
Love having an Alienware with a 6700hq and a 950 pro that I can't take advantage of because of the OS fucking up all the time...
P.S. Yes I also have Linux on it but you can't really enjoy the.... 👽 side of things with it!4
I have raspberry pi 3 lying around; at the same time, I want to make a minecraft server to play on with 4-6 friends. Is the pi3 capable of running a server? I tried running it once but it was so slow you could outrun the world rendering with as few as 2 players. Would trying to run it multithreadedly help?
Or should I just resign to a server rental site? it'd preferably be a vps since I really don't like these 'management' sites gaming providers often make - any recommendations that are as cheap as possible)1
So I quit my last job because they were only focusing on developing invoicing and inventory control systems. It was really boring same old thing every day!!
When I started my current job they were developing CMS and web solutions. But recently management is considering to develop invoicing and inventory control systems (which now I HATE ).
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE THERE'S MORE THAT!!!!
had a uni exam in databases (just closely didn't make it😒)
it didn't even have sql in it!?
questions about ER diagrams and draw a diagram, functional dependencies with given dependencies, find candidate key and what not, work on a b-tree (miserably failed😣), datalog (who the fuck cares about datalog? the least expected topic) and transaction management/serializability
whose idea was it to not include sql?? isn't it one the fundamental parts of relational databases?4
Anyone had much experience with Om.Next? It looks neat. From what I understand their way to tackle state management is very reasonable. Looks like GraphQL but for both client and client/server.
I wrote a client facing application, which management felt did not require any user guide for the business was required, but the client received a guide. In short, the business didn't understand how to setup a new client, blamed me that it was crap, just to find out they just didn't set it up right. No one apologized, or took credit for messing up. I know look like the black sheep
How many people use a real bug tracker? We use a project management tool for our bug tracking and it SUCKS!
What tools do you use for project management/bug tracking?2
I created a django app for event management for our college's event. Initially planned to host it on local network. But seems like college local infrastructure is not that capable. So I am thinking to host it online. Is there any free or dead cheap hosting for 5 days that can handle 1000 requests per day.6
Taking a guess at what I think it'll be, proceed to tell management to multiply it by 3 if I don't reach that. Then usually finish before and sit on my arse or spend weeks on some little hidden shit.
Debugging a WCF app and could for the love of it not get its main window up. Then I realized it was freaking Photoshop that placed itself on top of it. PS is great for editing images, but has useless management of windows and memory, at least on Windows, originally developed for Mac as it is.
What are you guys using for project / task management?
By you, I mean you or your company. It's about that time to make some changes at our agency.. we currently use asana and are starting to hate it.8
Has anyone used CA's Rally for issue tracking? Is it as bad for devs as I've been warned?
We are being forced to use it instead of Jira because of the pretty reports it generates for management and I am kind of scared...5
I'm on my internship right now, working on Library Management System and thinking about how data will load fast in server-side, it took almost a minute even I used DataTables. It is JUST a 22K+ of library records. Is my only knowledge is just PHP, MYSQL, JS... caused this problem? Would MVC help, i'm only have 200 hours to finish the project but no knowledge yet in MVC15
Company Weekly updates meeting. It doesn't have any news in it,Just some guy in higher management changed, or some other useless shit.
Currently working on a nightmare project : post scheduler with calendars, datepickers and timezones.
Mixed with designs that change mid-dev, a ui that make no sense and a deadline that has no fixed date.
And management could say its the devs fault for it being late! wtf! Its driving me insane \(▪_▪)/3
Working with Python, one annoyance is, it does not have a solid dependency management. Sticking to hand writing requirements.txt and manually maintaining and upgrading dependencies and also manually updating requirements.txt is a horrible pain in the ass.
Wish there was a better way to do this similar to npm and gem.3
Wanted backing up my windows files so I can install Linux but my 500gb hard drive is acting up, just closed a pop up telling me installed successfully and it never showed up even on my disk management.. I hope it's not dead, pls is there anyone who has experienced this before? 😰3
How do you guys feel about daily stand-up ?? Is it wasting time or like the method sent from the god of project management.2
Question: what's your opinion on Julia? It seems promising, the macro syntax is neat. But would you use it for data analysis/management or general purpose development?
Experience, intuition and 50-200% risk premium.
For me it is important to not put too much effort in it, as the developer estimation is usually mangled through sales and management anyway and doesn't have much to do with the final price.
And as nobody really bases internal budget and schedule on it as well, it's kind of pointless in most cases.
I was asked to fix our complete network. We have multiple SSID for different floors. All of the equipment needs an external controller for management (ubiquiti unifi). Originally when it was configured, the controller was hosted on a local work pc with dynamic up, so the equipments tries to connect to different ips, and the controller does not exist anymore. All of the documentation is on a single side of a single Post-It note... Beautiful...4
Teacher: New idea. Let's use excel for a better management with oop.
*you give a hard think* Alright I can see how this would work
*ten minutes into it* WHO IS HE? THE DEVIL?
I know it doesn't really exist in one solution, but I need management software to keep track of customers (crm), projects, products, licensing and contracts, and time keeping. Right now we are using MSCRM (ugh), and old homebrew project/time tracker written in Perl spaghetti (double ugh), email (sigh) and handwritten notes (kill me). Now I suddenly find myself with a budget (somewhat) and the authority to actually fix things. Any ideas would be appreciated.
When your replacement that your training didn't understand configuration management and just makes changes on one server instead of making a change set and deploying it to all the servers 😭