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My girlfriend doesn't talk to me anymore after I said I helped the new girl to do some penetration testing.27
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My girlfriend comes in and sees me on devrant.
GF: "What is that app? I see you using it all the time. Is it like an endless blog with updates?"
Me: "It's kinda like facebook. But for developers. And you don't have any friends".
GF: "That seems like a sad app"37 -
So this happened last night...
Gf: my favorite bra is not fitting me anymore
Me: get a new one ?
Gf: but it is a C already.
Me: get a c++.
After 5 sec i bursted in laughter, she was confused.24 -
Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Baby: 204 No Content
Me: 200 OK
Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Baby: 413 Payload Too Large
Me: 102 Processing
Me: 200 OK
Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Baby: 444 Connection Closed Without Response
Me: 200 OK
Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Baby: 444 Connection Closed Without Response
Me: 429 Too Many Requests
Me: GET /sleep
Baby: 307 Temporary Redirect
Me: 101 Switching Protocols
Me: 408 Request Timeout
GF: 102 Processing
Me: GET /sleep
Sleep: 404 Not Found
Me: 406 Not Acceptable
(Morning)
Me: 501 Not Implemented21 -
"A software Engineer? Why don't you do a real job instead of fixing people's computers?"
- ex gf 2011
"I'm proud you do something you love"
- wife 201611 -
GF: What are you doing there?
Dev: I've been trying to reproduce a bug for two hours now...
GF: You need two bugs the opposite sex, otherwise they won't reproduce.
From a sad true story.10 -
Hi everyone! Sam here, @dfox's gf :) so happy to be talking to you all! Today I will be live-ranting TNW Conference where devRant will be presenting with photos in this thread. Pictured here, @dfox and @trogus setting up our booth. There will also be a stage presentation, a sticker printer on site (because how could we not :)), and energy drink/stress ball giveaway. Stop by and say hi if you're here!!
Go devRant team!
40 -
Fact=!rant
Gf: Hey look, YouTube shows a preview of the video on mouse hover
Me: pornhub did it first
Gf:what?
Me:wut?11 -
Me : I need to give Tom a wash.
GF (Smashed table, angrily) : Tom is your Keyboard, stop giving everything a name.
Me : you hurt poor George!11 -
My GF just selected all files on her harddrive and clicked "Open".
The look at her face when she figured out what she have done.
BONUS: She restarts her computer, and upon start she selects Yes to the "Your computer shutdown unexpected, would you like to re-open the applications" popup 😂12 -
My girlfriend saw me coding in XCode.
GF: What are you doing?
Me: Ahmm. Coding.
GF: *saw the colors in every line of code
GF: That's easy. You just need to follow the color pattern. Green, Blue, Red and Yellow.
Me:
Macbook:
XCode:
Charger:
BTW. She's a Preschool Teacher. Hahahaha24 -
GF: I'm unable to undo my zip, help
Me: ctrl Z
GF: what!
Me: what? Oh.
(She left me the week after :'| )15 -
When your gf isn't a Dev but still tries to surprise you on your birthday with an HTML cake. But your OCD is killing you because of the mistakes
Src: IG - developers_team
46 -
*Trying to finish up this project I'm doing*
Me: "Fuck this shit I'm done shit doesn't work"
*non-dev girlfriend sits in front of computer*
GF: "I believe this line shouldn't be here it messes up what happens in the loop. Or atleast that's what it looks"
*checking it*
Me: "So what's your ring size again"8 -
I was at school working on my school project.
I receive a message from my girlfriend:
"How is called the hacker thing?"
Me: "what?"
Gf:"yeah the black thing"
Me: "what black thing"
Gf: "found it, it was this" *sends a picture of cmd*
Gf: "my classmate is hacking" *sends picture of cmd with 'dir' command on it"
I was crying from laughing.
Me: "try to write this: %0|%0"
Gf:YOU ASSHOLE, MY COMPUTER IS FUCKED UP"
Me: "this is 'real' hacking"
No sex for a week, but I still think it was worth it.28 -
Walking with gf.
diadev: hey that desk would be perfect for someone with one monitor!
GF: What kind of fuckin normie has one monitor?
I'm keeping this one 😂26 -
Me: "can we go to the cinema this weekend?"
gf: "uhm, maybe if blablabla..."
Me: "boolean!"
gf: "true"
...12 -
My GF, an iOS QA, went for an interview with a large enterprise and was rejected.
Interviewer: Your current application is hybrid or native?
GF: Native, because it is written in swift using native iOS SDK.
Interviewer: Does it use internet?
GF: Yes.
Interviewer: It is a hybrid application if it uses internet. You know nothing about your projects. You are rejected.
GF: 😯21 -
GF: "Honey can you leave the PS and give me some attention?"
ME: "ofcourse!"
**Gives her 29 minutes of attention**
12 -
GF: Did you watch a movie while you were sleeping?
ME: (Syntax Error): How could i watch a movie while sleeping?
GF: No, the name of the movie is "while you were sleeping"
ME: oh, you forgot quotes for string18 -
GF: "The Internet is broken!"
Me: "WHAT?! Sound the horn! Raise the alarm! Call gondor for aid! The Internet is broken! Does the president know?! Save yourself fools!"
*skips away on pretend horse*4 -
I once met a very cute client. Inner me was saying to go and get this girl. But company's code of conduct is completely against it that an employee shouldn't ask his/her clients out with you or date with him/her. Even my colleagues knew me as a man of criteria. So I leave
.
.
.
.
.
the Code of Conduct and now she is my gf. :)12 -
If any programmer tells you that you are number 1 on his life, don't trust him.. most of us start counting from zero. haha3
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So here I am in iceland watching Aurora with my gf, and suddenly I realized somewhere in my code at work I freaking forgot to add 1 to the denominator of a fraction. Shitty shit shit, gonna go back to work finding NaNs everywhere. Fuck fuck fuck
11 -
Last night I caught my girlfriend on my phone.....
Reading devRant..
I asked her what she was doing, she replied "I wanted to see what you spend all your time reading, some of this is actually pretty funny.."
❤13 -
!rant
Girlfriend doing her first IT internship:
"I think I got the roto virus"
Me: "Disconnect LAN cable and turn off PC, so that you do not infect the entire company's network".
GF: "Why would I do that, it's my body that feels bad".4 -
GF: I swear, you're spending more time staring at the screen than actually typing anything.
ME: Because literally 80% of coding is staring at the screen thinking about how to code something. My mind is an endless void of possible approaches to a problem.4 -
Another rant about my gf
She tried HTML and well, cause there are h1, h2, h3... instead of classes, she used div, div2...
19 -
GF: please remember the flowers!
Me: I'll set a reminder.
GF: and don't forget to wrap them in water.
Me: I'll see what I can do about the laws of physics.
GF: ... I swear to god..
Me: yes yes I'll wrap them in water.7 -
Me: *Working intently on project*
Gf: "Why are you just googling stuff & copying"
WELCOME TO PROGRAMMING 10113 -
Got this today from my gf (only one part of birthday invitation card).
So cuuuuute 😍
English: "I'm 18, will I get something now?"
24 -
Me: *coding*
Gf: *walks into room*
Gf: awww look at all the sad winky faces
Me: excuse me?
Gf: look at all the sad winky faces *points at this ); *
Me: ... 😕😂10 -
So my girlfriend (non techie) just saw my rant about how I'd give her a baby if she knew how to close vim in a proper way (she saw me on devRant, asked me to show it and read my rants) and so I showed her vim so she'd get the joke.
I than told her, how it worked and such so she'd see how it's not a regular text editor and told her to try and quit it, and to my amazement, she did!
Guess she's a keeper :')12 -
TL;DR: Don't ever interrupt me while taking a shit.
>be me taking a shit comfortably in the bathroom, not bothering anyone
>hear my cousin outside calling his gf
>nofsgiven.jpg
>suddenly stuff comes flying through the window and hear her gf laughing in his phone speaker
>stupid asshat was trying to make his gf laugh by bothering me while in the debug room
>scream from the top of my lungs for him to stop interrupting my defecation process
>stuff keeps coming from the window
>my brown creation comes back inside like a scared turtle
>pull up pantaloons
>get out of thinking room
>open up laptop, start ubuntu
>sudo apt-get install aircrack-ng
>enable monitor mode, get phone, ap mac addresses
>vim shittyvengeance.sh
>write small script that deauths his phone and then waits some seconds and then starts over again so he doesn't think it's me
>:wq and make script executable
>sleep 180; cowsay ding dong ur vengeance has arrived; sudo ./shittyvengeance.sh
>tuck into bed and close laptop before sleep time ends
>his call suddenly drops
>"Matt are you messing up with my WiFi again?"
>"Nah man. Not working for me either. Must be localcompany's problem."
>mfw he can't talk with his gf for more than 15 seconds before losing connection
>omgitworks.jpg
>figure that it was the most useful thing I had made in a pc in these two years at uni
>be proud of me for making a stupid script
>think about going back to my pearl white throne
>no longer wanting to drop my supplies
>go to sleep
>mfw forgot to wipe ass
My first story in devRant! Was lurking for quite a while and finally felt like sharing something 🙃27 -
My gf caught me unguarded after she told me that she has some updates for her webpage, right after I did the last updates. Massively amused. Not! 😅
26 -
GF: Why are working so late?
Me: Because no matter what I do, everything is working correctly.
GF: What....
The only career when you have to work late because everything is working like it should (cannot reproduce an issue).19 -
My gf former colleague quit during the bosses rant session (he'd constantly complain about the workers even though they did nothing wrong) so she stod up and said:
I quit!
He continued his rant like he didn't hear her.
She said again but with the angriest voice: hey, shitface! I fucking quit!
He sat in silence, the last thing he said was: but you behave so I don't have to fire you!
He must allways have the last word, you piece of shit midget(he is very short)2 -
Me typing
git rebase --help
GF: What!? Oh... nevermind it says rebase. I thought it said rebae.
Me: What?
GF: I'm the only bae you need in your life!
Me: ... This is going on devrant.2 -
Dear Google OAuth,
you might hate me since i spammed you the whole day with access token requests.
But this is all your fault. Because you never gave me ONE SINGLE SHITTY TOKEN!!
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS "BAD REQUEST" ERROR MESSAGE?!
You're a rich as shit company with thousand and thousands of employees.
OAuth is one of your essentials cause it handles the access to all your services.
So why the hell i cannot get some smart errormessage to debug my shit.
You are like my gf, when she is mad at me and does not tell me why. But even she is a lot easier to debug!8 -
That awkward moment when you tell your gf you want a rubber duck for your birthday present but you mistyped it.
Gf: "Sweetie, what gift do you want for your birthday?"
Me: "a rubber dick would be fantastic! it'll help me debug things"
Gf: "Ok... if you say so..."8 -
I miss my old ZenBook with Linux 😔
I mean, the MacBook is great, but it feels like I left my old simple gf who loved me for a Hollywood sexy bitch who doesn't give a fuck11 -
And for my birthday my girlfriend told me "your age++"
I don't know who told her that (she knows nothing about programming languages) but that was cute.3 -
relationship with dev perks (just happened):
GF : *bad mood* i'm hungry
Me : Let's go get some food ! *trying to cheer her up*
GF : No.
Me : Ok, whatever you say.
GF : Do you really wa--
Me : Whaat? you said "No"?
GF : Don't you see abstraction in my face?
Me : so what ? you want me to Implement it?
GF : NO. PUT IT IN YOUR GODDAMN MAIN FUNCTION.
Me : ok let's go *still don't understand what she meant*
GF : Good Job.71 -
My gf was a QA. I told her to read my last devrant story about our colleague from the previous company.
Her response was "you misspelled 'taught' twice".
😢6 -
Watching Netflix alone when gf asks if she can join, or preferrably inner join.
I love this girl to death 😍7 -
Gf, shouting: why are you using my premium shampoo and hairdryer on your keycaps?
Me: because just like your haircut, they were unnecessarily expensive, they embody all my self worth, and deserve to be shiny and clean.
Gf, pondering: ... Could you clean my keyboard next?4 -
Someone: how do I convert cute girls to .gf format ?
Me : Sorry, this feature is not available in the beta version8 -
I gor a problem with my gf, and she asked for space, then i got a new problem in my workplace, i want to kill my boss and my senior mothercuker! FUCK THIS!!!
11 -
I have the best gf in the world.
She tries to understand what I spend so many hours working on, even though she has little interest in it. She is seriously patient with me and lets me do my thing just because she knows it makes me happy.6 -
Me: when are you coming?
Gf: 1 hour
Me: started updating windows!!
.
.
.
After 1.5 hour
Gf came
Windows still updating 😂11 -
That moment when your GF bothers you so much with her Instagram photos
https://github.com/gulzar1996/...16 -
*me seeing rant with stress ball in the pic*
Me to gf:"look babe!!! Streeeeesssssballllllll :D I want one"
*gf points at shirt*:"these are your stress balls ;)"8 -
Guess who's birthday it is! It's my birthday and that are my birthday gifts my GF gave me 😍🤩
Also starring Dick-butt Debug-duck!
I feel blessed. 😁
27 -
Needed to download all my music from Google music, their download manager is crap (on ubuntu)
Decided to use their API, found a gem that works perfectly. Started downloading it.
Told my GF how I wanted to code something cool but gound someone else did, her response:
So why doesn't google make something ?
Me:They did, but it sucks in linux, and they have their API's which work fine.
And how are normal people supposed to make it work then?
Me: well it works, jut have to install this and run the CLI with.... wait.. am I not normal?
I guess we are not normal in the eyes of some people.19 -
Funnny thing happened today, my gf took my phone and started scrolling through recent apps, suddenly she sees devRant app and says, "What is this app? Is it the place your rant about me?"
All because her pet name is Dev! #DevRant15 -
My girlfriend sent me out to buy basil for soup... Had no choice so I went. At the mall entrance, 4 interactive digital signage panels. Used one to check for the supermarket's locations and saw that a display corner was flickering. The app was grabbing the full screen but had a bug with the windows' task bar. Messed with it a couple of minutes, stopped app and... Surprise! Windows 7, logged as administrator... I had to go to disk management... I really had to.
PS: gf said that I should be ashamed of what I did...
9 -
Gf: Which way do you round 4.5 up or down?
Me: (int)4.5;
Gf: Ffs the proper way!
Me: Math.Round(4.5);
Gf: Fuck off.12 -
My gf has recently told me that she's sick of all those privacy invasive Google services and wants me to degooglify her! Am I the happiest guy on Earth?31
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<rant data-type="corny">
My Gf of 3 years left me for some douche. Thus said, she "removed" her feelings before kissing him. WTF! I didn't know feeling came like dependencies...
</rant>9 -
My GF said I look so silent and innocent while working. She has no idea how much I curse the monitor in my head while working.3
-
Long ago, like 5 years, I made an app for my EX GF in symbion to track her periods. Application predict the next date when your period will come based on her cycle.
How ever after 2 month of usage she told me that application was flashing that she is pregnant. She scared shit out of herself and made me sacred a hell as well.
Later i find out that the variable i used to store number of days between last period and current date was not capable of storing value more than 40, i don't know how, and triggers negative value to be shown.
Early days of my programming, Shit happens.10 -
!rant
My gf loves rubber ducks so much, I'm just waiting for her to learn coding just for the debugging process :D
9 -
Fingerprint sensor is insecure
-gf can open your phone when you are asleep
-same with chloroform, unconscious, then use fingers
-can cut your fingers if it leads to that.
Fine I agree....but how secure is the face ID ??
-all of the same points can be applied to it.29 -
!rant
Just wanted to share stuff. It's my first time.
<backstory>
I'm a c# dev, recently got excited about neural networks and stuff. I have a gf who studies biology
</backstory>
So i've noticed yesterday what my gf is doing for her science stuff. She has an image taken through a microscope of some erytrocytes and shit. And she's clicking on those tiny fuckers to count them. There are like almost a hundred of those things in an image and she has a butload of those images.
I was like "what the fuck? Don't you have an app that counts the stuff for you or something?"
And there is none. Or at least i wasn't able to find one. That's bullshit. My inner programmer screams with hate for boring repetitive tasks.
So i guess i'm going to write a neural network to count similar stuff in an image.34 -
!rant
i've been working on a web game with the gf - we're planning on making it a technologically correct 'hacking' game. updates will probably be posted as we go!
27 -
#¤%@ kid!!! My 5yo son has obviously been playing with his mom's mobile phone. At first, I thought it was a little cute, when I received incoherent texts about Roblox, one of his favourite games.
But then, I suddenly heard from my sister who was really upset and worried. She was wondering if my gf really wants to see her dead, after receiving a facebook pm in English, saying "oh die :-)".
No need for auntie to take it personally though; turned out she was not the only one getting the same message :-O
A little boy is facing a mobile ban for a very long time...13 -
Telling someone you don't like the way they format their code is like... Telling them their girlfriend is ugly.6
-
Sometimes I feel I'm the live version of stack overflow for my family and friends...
Mom: The printer is acting up, how do I fix it?
Brother: I can't login to Netflix, help!
Grandparents: could you fix the radio/TV?
Gf: Apple can't validate my .uk mail
All to which I replied with the answer to life, the universe and everything...
FUCKING GOOGLE IT! Have you googled it?!
And the inevitable reply: no.
The only ones who get a free pass are my grandparents they were born in the 40's and think YouTube works on voodoo.8 -
Me and my girlfriend's pillow talk about memory leaks
Me: **... So garbage collection is a means to stopping a memory leak from occuring
Gf: what 's a memory leak ?
Me: a memory leak is like when you want a pizza, and the guy gives you pizza. But you don't eat the pizza and you ask for another pizza. You keep doing this repeatedly. Until the pizza guy realizes what you're doing and decides to kill you. He then takes back all his pizzas
Gf: why would you do that though?
Me: Lazy ass programmers who don't clean up after themselves.6 -
My gf got me my first "rubber ducky". He is a bit sarcastic and rough on my code but I mean... He's Deadpool!!
5 -
Gf: "Why are you such a typist"
Me: "I promise not to buy more keyboards with blue switches..."
Gf: "No, I mean like being racist or sexist, but you discriminate types"
Me: "Uhhh"
Gf: "You are always bitching about how awful date/time types are, with timezones, leap seconds and daylight savings"
Me: Face turns pale, thousand yard stare, vietnam-flashback to when I was writing a calendar scheduling/meeting/matching tool which used 3 databases, with timestamps in different formats, and web frontends for people in offices around the world.
Me, with a soft broken voice: "So?"
Gf: "You've been working on that palette tool this week, and you keep talking about how interesting all these colorspaces, white balances and conversion formulas are"
Me: 🤔6 -
God dammit ... Gf said I should go "early" to bed and not like last night at 3 am. Now it's 4:20 am...7
-
>Be me
>Have coder gf
>Goes to Disney world with family for vacation
>Me on the phone with her "can I just ftp over to you"
>Her *giggles*
>Me subconsciously "that was stupid but it didn't fail"1 -
After a 4 year CS college completed and 3 years of java experience I have found the biggest challenge of my life when my gf asked me to teach her programming. After explaining 10 times what a class and an object is , I started to understand how frustrating is for a teacher with a shitty pay to teach an know-it-all dumb fuck to write a hello world after 2 years of college.12
-
"Maybe the internet has an error”
Quote from my GF after booking tickets online failed, and on some level I feel like this is a very profound, relevant statement..2 -
ME: I'm having problems with my parents
GF: Why don't you talk to them?
ME: I can't
GF: Why not?
ME: They're made of code
GF: ... thinking... ~face palm~3 -
So my ex gf was a developer too and she used spaces instead of tabs and she would put the { on a new line. That was not the reason to break up with her but I just can't hold my rage ffs18
-
Tell gf that I'm gonna start the washing machine. 30 minutes later she finds me at the computer.
-You forgot the laundry half way.
-oups but I had to try a possible solution to my problem ...
The look from her :/3 -
My gf said some of Japanese companies specifically ask developers to code for IE6 and IE6 only. 🕺
Glad that I don't have to work for them.6 -
I have been strongly considering writing a small fb app today named something along the lines of "Hack your fb friends - for realz". Then add basic oauth (You have to login to pick the friend to hack duh), retrieve their friends list and then publicly post to their own timeline and the friends they chose humorously stating they attempted to hack the persons account "for realz". You know just enough to alert people that the "hacker" is a idiot with bad intentions but with just humour enough to fall under "satire" so fb doesn't remove it.
If your bored please feel free steal and implement my idea, it's hereby open sourced and I will even fund this shit on kickstarter 😂7 -
This morning my girlfriend told me about the network at her school constantly disconnecting, to which I jokingly replied "So, it doesn't deserve candy". She came back with "But it's already asking for so many cookies"...
-
So my gf was sleeping and i took the opportunity to unlock her phone using her finger print. Sent bunch of texts and later told her i hacked her cellphone. She now believes i am a genuine hacker. Should i tell her the truth or just drag a little longer?16
-
Forgetting to reply to my gf when I code, I always return to 30+ texts, 12 missed calls, some Instagram and Facebook messages, an email and find my face on the back of a milk carton 😂4
-
When scrolling through free Udemy courses for fun, my gf says:
"Whaaaat? Data analysis with Panda and Python? Isn't that shit dangerous? Like they go in the jungle and stuff?"
Me:"oh..."
(Disclaimer: She has no background in CS)5 -
I wish I could type into my brain:"dd if=/dev/zero of=/dev/sda bs=512 count=1337"
To delete everything of my ex gf memories...
She just wrote a message, again...22 -
Things that pissed me off on Monday.
1 - that bastard of a jerk whom you have known since childhood, pulling your legs in front of your gf
2 - few minutes of "_ _ _ is typing" placeholder text showing up after asking something in IM
3 - the increasing number of appointments/meetings for the rest of the week
TBC26 -
!Dev
TL;DR: I broke up with my girlfriend and now she's trying to ditch me from our group of friends.
The thing is this has happened before and she already ditched a guy from our group. And when we were together, we were like "nah if it ends we're gonna do everything for this not to happen again". And now that we broke up, she doesn't want to see me anymore, which I can understand, and honestly, I don't care. The thing is I also don't care if I see here again at a party or whatever. If she doesn't want to see me, just DONT FUCKING COME. If it's a problem for you if I hang out with our common friends then FUCK OFF. But don't forbid me to see my friends.
*sigh*
Anyway sorry for bothering, just had to let off a little steam. And I won't insult her, because at least I fucking have some respect.9 -
GF made me a Stressball that debugs almost as good as a rubber duck. Downside is that I can't have bananas anymore :(
1 -
When the university finds out you're a pentester:
Usual underclassmen: Can you hack my bf/gf? I think they're cheating on me.
Delusional underclassmen who think they know everything: I can hack too! Who's your master? I learned how from master jimmy *runs a batch script that has "tree" on loop. See? What batch script do YOU have?"
The IT teachers: can you show us how a payload works?4 -
My bro and I are going home from a concert and talking.
Bro: Man, my life's made out of problems you can't just solve by definition.
Me: You didn't tell me you started working with java.
Later I realised he was talking about problems with his gf.4 -
So, I found this :
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, HuntingAndFishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!
Thanks ...Troubled User
-------
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 installed and work on improving the configuration. I suggest installing the background application YesDear 99.0 to alleviate software augmentation.
The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to do this before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as CleanAndSweep 3.0, CookIt 1.5 and DoBills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program NagNag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0, but beware because sometimes these applications can be expensive.
WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install SecretaryWithShortSkirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
WARNING!!! Attempting to install NewGirlFriend 8.8 along with Wife 1.0 will crash the system.
(see Wife 1.0 manual, Apologize, High Maintenance & Secretary with Short Skirt)7 -
I'm done with dumb girls😠 ! seriously I need a geek girl in my life to understand what I talk or what I share .... A dev girl right now would be awesome ..😃15
-
She : You spend your whole day with your stupid computer ! That dumb machine is more important to you than me. We are done 😡
Me : Babe, I swear to God, you'll always be number one on my priority list.
She : Aww.. love you so much 😚
Me in mind : This must be the reason behind foundation of 0 index for Devs.1 -
A study needs to be done on the therapeutic effects of devRant. My gf tells me I grin like an idiot much more these days 😅4
-
I've lost my gf (she said she wouldn't want to be with a programmer, I said 'sure, bye') and found a much better and more fun career path than I had before.
Otherwise my life stayed pretty much intact, except for the fckn compile time errors and occasional 'fix my electronic device' or 'hack this social media account for me' requests. In retrospect it was more than worth it, would switch to be a professional developer anytime again.10 -
Usually, when I'm in the mood to code, my GF will tease me by sending a lot of text messages at once.
When I'm not in the mood, she had slept earlier :-|3 -
My gf (she is a dev too) gets mad at me, cause i ask for her help and it usually ends up as plain rubberducking...
Not my fault!10 -
Just got a whiteboard as a present from my gf. Decided to use to for flowchart, but I literally never made a flowchart. This...this doesn't seem right. Anyone got any experience with it? Where could I learn and are they actually useful?
5 -
Went outside for a jobintervju ...
Isn't it just horrible to go outside and meet something called other people? My GF said it could be good for me, yeah right!
I even saw something called a sun. It was really bright, must be awful to have to watch that thing everyday.9 -
So I told my gf, if my life becomes dependent on a machine for survival and I am always attached to it. Unplug the machine.
She unplugged my computer2 -
So I moved rooms the other day, we had to accommodate my lovely gf. And so we went to IKEA to buy a desk big enough for the both of us. Looks great 😍😍
12 -
My girlfriend is ranting about her work... It's a shame she isn't into tech or something like that.. If she would, I could show her the beauty of this online platform.
-
well my gf loved the game I made for her. I'm also surprising her with a flight out, I'm waiting at the airport now..... with no way to do any coding.......3
-
My routine lately :
* Opens devrant*
* Sees loads of posts of developers mentioning their girlfriends or wives*
* Looks around the empty room *
* Gets sad and dies a little.*
* Get back to coding hoping of getting a girlfriend after finishing this project( never gonna happen) *
++ If you ever felt the same.6 -
My GF found this on 9gag, though it'd be worth reposting :p
But oh damn I wish it was this easy...
5 -
Current mood;
Screw the language, fuck the compiler, piece of shit keeps throwing errors.
Oh wait I forgot to set a variable. That was easy
More errors?? FUCK ALL THE SHIT OVER AGAI- oh wait actually if I just do... SCREW IT ALL YOU CUNT CODE,, no no I didn't mean that dear. Don't give me more errors please. OH FUCK YOU.1 -
Mom: "so... you do things with the computer, but what do those things do?" or "I have no clue what you just said, but good luck with that"
Father: "couldn't you have gotten a real job? Like machining or warehouse management, where actual work can be seen rather than sitting on your &ss all day, typing on that keyboard"
- he changed his view real quick when I showed him my paycheck. ($3/ hr more than him)
Brother: "cool"
Ex-gf: "I hate you" (more because of my starting pay)3 -
Nothing big, but the time I felt the most useful and awesome guy in the world was when I wrote a script creating PDF cover letters from a csv file with contacts names for my gf. A bit of Latex and python, a few hours to make it resilient to special characters, but the look of relief (she would have done it by hand) and admiration in her eyes truly made me feel proud :)1
-
When was last time you had Fight or Argument(restricted only to texting) with your GF/BF/Spouse while coding?
The amount of text typed on phone is more than the code on screen.9 -
Spent almost $20 on stickers with my gf and I don't regret a thing.. How many references can you get?
5 -
Me to gf: hey hun look what I built! (Shows off new project)
Gf: (sees video playing in background) oh that's so cool! Did you do that? (Points at video)
Me: no, but look at this! (Shows off feature)
Gf: oh... well that's great hun, I'm so happy you are doing what you love
-
People! I'm attending to a hackathon for the first time (this country sucks)
Any advice?
I hope I can get dev friends, or even a dev gf (my whole life dream)14 -
class Life extends Death{
public static void main(String...args){
Guy me = new Guy();
me.born();
GirlFriend gf = new GirlFriend();
me.setGirlFriend(gf);
me.getMarried();
me.haveSon();
me.die();
}
}
------- Exception on line 5: NullPointerException, girlfriend cannot be null ---
Daaamnn6 -
When Internet Explorer is brave enough to ask to be your standart browser you should be brave enough to ask your girl out!4
-
I had a few girlfriends in the past and now am married for 4 years and can't remember any gfs before the married life. Ever had a pre-identity crisis?
My mind: "WHO THE F&*! WAS I? WHAT DID I DO? ITS LIKE TOTAL RECON AND AMNESIA ALTOGETHER!!"
5 -
This is why you don't want to have Dev gf. Unless you like emotional Rollercoasters. Trust me, had one...
26 -
TL;DR: Why does that online shop NOT support paypal?
I'm a LITTLE pissed.
I wanted to buy some stuff online (since my gf birthday comes closer and I have no city, no car nearby to go shopping) - and this website doesn't support paypal. You know why? Because they had to high fees.
Why on earth don't they do it like any other online shop?! - the user can pay with paypal for a little more % or €.
I don't have an actual credit card but the thing you can get <18yo. Paypal works with it but I can't use any other payment option.13 -
Let's find out... (Self-made Long island iced tea, loving my GF for giving me cocktailshaker to birthday)
2 -
I was working on my OOD class project (code analyzer) while my gf was trying to watch greys anatomy...for some reason Netflix and watch series wasn't working and she asked me what do I do...
My spontaneous reply: have u tried github...😕
Her reply: what is that is it like a porn site4 -
my gf visited over the weekend. when she went out to get groceries I kept myself busy looking for a error on a project.
she came back and was like: did you fail to end a sentence with a period.
that solved the problem1 -
!rant
I've discovered https://repl.it this week and it's pretty awesome!
I'm teaching my gf some python and haskell at the moment (for her fundamentals of compuer science course at university). They have to use IDLE for python and winhugs for haskell ... and it's awful.
So I was looking for something like JSFiddle for python and haskell, something you can use for a few quick lines of code.
I came across repl.it and it's great. No registration needed, many languages to choose from and a quick way to share code. Really good online IDE :-)2 -
I was talking to my non-tech gf about how a colleague of mine didn't understand priority queue and show led her an example, during explanation fucked up the example and duplicated priorities of 2 values but they came up in the unexpected order. She wanted to find the logic in it and blamed the computer for being dumb, but it has been ~45 minutes, she has Wikipedia about binary trees & linked list open as well as simple graphs visualising both + armed with pen and paper trying to understand how it all all works..
Achievement Earned?
P.S I am either creating a monstrosity (Frankenstein style) or recruiting a fresh mind to our ranks, either way I am proud af 😢😊😍11 -
!dev, very !rant
Going to Romania tomorrow and the next day will finally meet my girlfriend's parents (she's from there). More nervous than I expected to be about a (hopefully) simple thing.14 -
I once built an app because my girlfriend travels a lot and I was worried she might be kidnapped. App becomes a big deal, now I have to add more features. I really just wanted a holiday and peace of mind.1
-
i am actually exciting to go to work tommorow.
Thats weird.
Over the weekend the gf was away and it was quite boring, gaming didnt do the thing so i relaxed quite a lot but i am somewhat excited to continue to work tomorrow, to further my project. I was able to stop to do nothing at home, but still..its a bit weird3 -
Sooo my gf dumped me last weekend :(
I remember somebody here had an idea for a dating app for devs. Is that actually a thing? Does anybody have a link?10 -
I show code for some cool but simple stuff to my gf.
She "how the hell are you able to come up with this shet? Who taught you to program? "
Me "Patience, enthusiasm and google"1 -
Most of guy programmers feel difficult to get a gf . I wonder does girl programmers face the same situation. 🤔🤔🤔14
-
So my gf just told me she saw a video where YouTube claimed it had no sound - with sound.
I didn't believe her at first.. see for yourself
https://youtu.be/lghQ0PxUOUk
11 -
It was my birthday gf and friends got me drunk, so in response i woke up with a hangover. Coding does not mix well with a hangover 😟
-
1. Get some money with little contracts got by my school
2. Pay fucking good holidays with my gf
3. Finish my big school project that will validate almost two years
4. Launch my startup -
When all your friends (which there ain't much of them) are out doing their own stuff, gf and family at the other side of the country, I'm glad devRant is here keeping me occupied and sane... and of course Steam too (but it'll always be 2nd)...2
-
GF : Who's the name of that guy who plays Count Olaf in the Netflix's Unfortunate Events series, again? You know, Barney Stinson?
Me : Hmm, it would be Tim Berners-Lee I think... At least that's the name that comes to my mind.
*checks*
Me : FUCK, NO. It's Neil Patrick Harris! Tim is the creator of the WWW...
Shame on me, but at least I remember the most important names better 😅.3 -
My gf tonight
3am: well be returning for 4am
4am: dont worry, at 5 metros start
5am: lets get home at 6
Fuckit -
Normal gf after breakup- He didn't do it in my favourite position.
Dev gf after breakup- He used tabs.11 -
For my father, I do wizardry, for my mother I do magic, for my brother I type weird stuff, for my gf I code useless stuff, for my grandparents I do nothing, for my non dev friends I make softwares, for my dev friends... Magic again1
-
My non-techie girlfriend tends to get a tad pissed at me when she understands what people are talking about when she overhears them talking about programming stuff, e.g. "website with Python backend" or "differences between JavaScript and EcmaScript"... what can I say, she's the best rubber duck there is!1
-
So the gf just came home, threw this in my face (literally, but not intentionally) and said "they were giving these away, thought you might have fun".
I've only heard of raspberry pi, arduino and such, but never actually used one.
Anyone have any experience with this thing in particular? Can I actually do anything with it or is it mostly for learning?
8 -
I do wish that we could have a dev dating site. Why? Cause I cannot give my girlfriend enough time and then she gets moody and then this leads to breakup.
Now I have to freaking choose between her or code this is bad, bad.
If we devs get dev gf she knows how things work and things would work out17 -
All I want is my holidays back, with all the nice stuff I did..
*being sad cause school starts again* -
!rant
Finally getting back into programming. I've been holding off on it for a while for 1, lack of motivation and 2, too busy balancing work and other things. Just came up with a start for a small project. I'm thinking of making it into a bday game for my gf if i'm able to get the mechanics working right, otherwise I already have a gift ordered for her :P -
Girlfriend: I don't get why you love me...
Me: Maybe I should write a Setter method to make it clear.
She didn't understand that joke ._.3 -
Shopping with gf. This is fuckin bullshit. I want to code... FUCK THIS! DO YOU HAVE TO FUCKIN CHECK EVERY SINGLE FUCKIN ITEM'S SIZE AND PRICE RECURSIVELY? For fuck's sake, I got shit to do!8
-
Just the daily android vs iOS bashing with my gf xD I'll never turn to the light side that is iOS.
2 -
When your non-dev gf gets angry on you for not responding to her texts through out the night but you decide to stay quiet because she would never understand that you were trying to fix the code.
5 -
its seems like ill lose my gf if i start my cs study cuz ill not earn money in this period.. wtf!?
is this dev life?
console.log ("fuck you") ;16 -
So Friday evening decided to "Update and Shut Down" my window 10 laptop.
I come in Monday morning and turn it on ... "Working on updates" So far its been 15 mins and its 27%.
Oh and my other laptop at home decided to restart itself and apply updates and stayed at "Applying Update 100%" for 35 minutes, luckily i was able to watch Glastonbury via my Xbox as my GF would not of been happy missing Ed Shearan :P
How hard would it be for MS to say "Look this update is going to take 45 minutes, do you want to wait"3 -
Hey guys, my gf and I want to do something with the Arduino we got. We are getting a CS degree, so programming is not a problem, but we have quite basic knowledge of electronics.
What could be a cool simple (but not too introductory) project we could do?
The arduino came with a bunch of sensors (ultrasonic distance sensor, humidity, ...) some input (joystick, RFID reader/writer, buttons) and some outputs (LCD display, 8x8 LED matrix, bunch of color and RGB leds).16 -
So, in roughly 2 years?
- Having my driver licence
- Get my graduation (should be in a few months but still)
- Find another work
- Get a better pay
- Loose 40 kgs
- And a GF would be a bonus -
On the positive note, I just installed win 10 on my PC, so I can finally play some MMO with my gf with more than 30 seconds per frame. Needless to say, my first installs were Msys2 and gvim :)
PS, any suggestions on a free casual MMO we could play together? I was thinking about TERA, but not set on anything yet.19 -
When you finish the complicated code for a feature you spend all day on and it runs without bugs but instead of returning the high-wife your gf looks at you, asks what the feature does and at the end says "but that sounds really easy to make"9
-
I love my gf but she can't talk code, or mathematics etc... What do I do? She refuses to even try becoming interested.25
-
When you bring your workspace to bed, she knows it's not her night tonight;
And you know tomorrow is gonna be a total stormy day because the forecast is real. -
Goals -
1. Learn frontend and backend development. Move out of "Just android developer" description
2. Move out of this shitty MNC and get a job in a good company
3. Blog more
4. Give talks
5. Get fit
6. Have a nice gf ( one can hope)
Can I achieve this much? I'll try my best for sure. -
---12.018 HE----
I want to
- finish my A-Levels
- play less & do more
- work on side project
- learn lots of new programming stuff
- have a great time (making my gf happy <3)1 -
So I live in the south. And it’s been pretty cold here the past few nights. And now there’s a gaping hole in my laundry room and water going everywhere and a plumber who seems to still be reading the README.md file. And my kitchen is flooding. And my gf is losing her shit. And I’m drinking coffee sitting at my bar, checking emails. Somebody wake me up.13
-
|Ѱ> = ½|(rant)> + ½|(!rant)>
I had a rough day, lots of things to do, the heat was as usual unbearable (I'm more quickly hindered by heat than other people, I'm feeling good in low temperatures), I had to go to the groceries, my parents' dog (which I'm keeping for the week for reasons) was particularly annoying today, and had a particularly full bladder every two or three hours, and *gross alert* my weak af asshole is one more time hurting because of the heat and I don't know what.
Then I sit in front of my laptop, and before powering it on I let out a big sigh. My girlfriend ears it, stops working and asks if I want a quick shoulders massage. I can't say no, she knows it...
At the exact moment she began, I pushed on "power on". There couldn't be a more perfect timing : as soon as it powers on, Windows starts (WHERE IS MY F*CKING GRUB ? I WANTED TO BOOT LINUX, I HAVE WORK TO DO) and starts his long ass updates, restarting 3 times in the process. I must admit that without Ms. Brosyl applying her sweet hands on my tense shoulder muscles, I would have gone crazy and flipped every table on sight.
That was a rant, and not a rant at the same time!1 -
So my gf told me about a job offerin she heard. They're looking for Python dev for a weather website.
Cool sound good.
Thank god I went for a drink with friends that night cause when I mentioned the job...well.
Apparently this dick pays about a 100$ LESS than a MINIMUM wage (not to mention the hostile work environment).
Honestly idk how they even stay afloat. I mean you can make almost DOUBLE working at McDonald's. -
Living life with regular work (8 hours per day, programming) and studying CS for masters degree is fucking disaster... I cant wait for end, all I do is fucking thinking. All I have is this one hour when I go to the gym and some time with my gf... I'm afraid when this ends (5 weeks) I wont know what to do in my spare time... Oh I know! Writing my masters thesis....2
-
I met my crush last day, she is a junior from the same college, everything was fine until when she wanted to find a recharge shop to recharge her phone. I opened PayTm(One of the Mobile Wallet here in India) and said I'm doing it.
Her reaction : What ? How ? You can do recharge right away from your phone ! wow !
I lost my interest on her :(
She is BTech Final Year Student
Tragedies2 -
Joined the dark side.
Used to think (),{},[] meant the same. Just a type of brackets they said
Started counting at 0
Designer/Developer perspective to every website/app I visit
Rubber ducks were children bath toys
And for the love of LINUS! Stop asking me to hack your bf/gf 's social media accounts. -
Fucking fuck... My exams are over, today was the last paper(IoT) and it was quite good and I wrote enough to get pass the examination.
While coming home my flip flop got fucked, had fight with gf after 2hours, decided to go and work on my Electron project but MY FUCKING LIFE IS PLAYING WITH ME, MY FUCKING MONITOR IS NOW DEAD.... FUCK MY FUCKING LIFE.
😢😢 I'm so fucking sad that I'm feeling fucking numb, emotion less. My fucking mind is blank and now I'm having headaches.... Fml2 -
I've been up for more than 24 hours and I've a project to finish by Friday evening.
On the other hand, I've a complaining gf.4 -
Anybody else use ellipses somewhat excessively? My GF pointed it out about me and I was like... Sorry.3
-
Today I m getting bored at my place, so I just came out..! I notice various things, some people are enjoying with their families,some with their gf/bf, some are playing, some having food, some enjoying cooool weather. that time I realize there is a life apart from coding... try to live each moment who knows about tomorrow......!2
-
So I was talking to my gf (a filosopher) about why I don't like a Cisco ad.
She sent me this, this morning. . .
Have you heard about it? Where can I learn more?
2 -
Fix for bug x
Fix 2 for bug x
Final fix for bug x
Really final fix for bug x
Another fix for bug x
...
Fix 59 fit bug x
....
As the gf egg bf egg Jr DG DG r
Rf we j RF at uh xD egg GB g2 -
My GF doesn't understand anything I say, but she continues to be there to listen to my coding problems.2
-
I am happy that my gf has started taking programming seriously
And I get super happy when she asks me small doubts
-
Have plenty of rants with enough ++ but I haven't requested stickers yet. Because i don't want to put them on something that i will end up throw away anyway. Besides from my gf, there is notting I'm attached to.
In this electronic age i which there was something more useful.
Example :
- email forward for nick@devrant.io
- custom profile fields
- ..
Just don't see the fuss over stickers. Maybe when i was 12 but that's 2 decades ago. But then again. If there were no rewards, it wouldn't really make a difference for me.10 -
Oh fuck off. Why do you put a fucking iMac on the floor
... Face up I imagine to then have your gf step on it 😡
Why the fuck would you even allow that situation to happen2 -
So it's Valentine's day here in the states.
I don't know what to do for my GiF.
All I did was rm -rf objects around the apartment and she seemed pleased...Am I doing this relationship thing right?6 -
I always love trying something new, especially when it's Linux.
In this case, I'm installing Plasma Mobile on my phone to see how it handles.1 -
So the other day I was talking to my gf about how it was crowdy in the metro area and how big the queue was for ticket, she said 'You should never say it was a big queue but it was a long queue' and I said 'It wasn't a big queue but it was a double queue' and I started laughing.
My gf being from a non technical background didn't understand why I was laughing so much.2 -
So I had to chuckle at this: https://www.devrant.io/rants/93746
My gf asked what was up. I tried explaining OOP to her (she does not have any coding knowledge) and I used the following example:
Let's say there is a class humans, you are an instance of that class and so am I. There are certain variables like hair color and height and those are different for you and me. There are also functions that we both can do and those are defined in the class.
I thought it was a neat idea. -
Me (waiting for a torrent download): this is gonna take a while. [ISP] is being slow again.
GF: Why not just force download it?1 -
"This is the last warning I'm giving you, don't you dare to talk to my gf"
"But I only listen to errors" -
Searching new laptop / system on current laptop / system can hurt feelings of it.
It's same as asking gf which is better girl than you 😂😂😂😂2 -
When your gf texts you and you just dwell into long romantic conversation and forget what you were even coding.(I'm serious it happen to me sometimes, not all the times coz we spent most of time arguing 😂😝)
-
My gf has declared devRant to be my 2nd gf because nowadays I spent most of my time with devRant. And she gets visibly upset.8
-
!rant
An opportunity to make some money via a bit of web development at the company my gf works at has popped up. I don't know the details and I kind of loathe web development but hey, money!
However I have never dealt with another company or talked with them about hosting options etc, any advice or things I might need to know or do?
I know security isn't supposed to be an issue as it is just an open site for showing information; if I take it on I will likely make it using ASP.NET as that is what I use in my job.
Thanks in advance guys3 -
Python is my wife, Elixir is my sexy girlfriend. While I love my life, the gf presents me what my wife cant. ReactJs/Rxjs is a lovely classic porn. The question is: what the fuck devRant is here???6
-
On holiday with parents and gf...
Wifi here forces you to use their DNS (using Google's or Cloudflare or any other DNS is blocked)...
Can't use my OpenVPN either...
fuck...15 -
Just wanted to buy a gift for my gf, so I went to birchbox.fr to buy her a 3 months subscription (irrelevant information).
So of course I needed to create an accout in order to buy it.
But what a surprise when I received a confirmation email, with my password in PLAIN TEXT inside. I guess I do really love her for not cancelling the gift and deleting my account immediately. -
!rant
I've been coding for just about 2 months now! I literally dont wanna do anything else!! Its all I can think about... I know im not qualified to work a dev job yet lol but I wish i could nab a junior dev position so I can practice 9-5 not just after business hours and on the weekend... -
I told my friend that only my special snowflakes could borrow my Plex server, so he made the account with
<username>TheSpecialSnowflake#1
So my gf made:
<username>TheSpecialSnowflake#0 -
When you are proud of your work you have finished today, come home and want to explain it to your non-coding gf...never felt so misunderstood in my life
#rightInDaFeels -
Me and my GF at a tea shop. GF knows one of the tea baristas.
Her = "tea barista"
Him = "tea barista"
Her: you're studying queer theory
GF: Yes I am
Him: Why don't they just call it Query
Me: LOLOL
Him: LOLOL
Her && GF: >.>1 -
Experience with Plasma Mobile:
After an hour of confusion and bash file trolling (as in scrolling through a bash file, not trolling someone with a script), I ended up needing to reinstall Lineage OS on my phone.
While it's a new and seemingly exciting expanse for modern Linux and Android phones, it's very obviously not ready yet.
Even after fixing some bugs within the bash file, my phone seemed to have a mind of its own; prematurely attempting to boot into the OS during a critical part of the setup. Even after finishing the setup correctly, my phone never actually boots into the system.
While I like the concept behind Plasma Mobile, it does still have a ways to go. But I have some hopes that the project will start getting bigger and better as the time goes on.2 -
once I heard a joke that a nerd programmer want to have sex with his so called gf, she said if u could post something online and get 10K reply then she will do it.
guess what that dude did?
he post "PHP is the best language ever" on a dev forum
he got 10K reply in 10min, the gf said ok so be it let's do it.
the guy said could you wait, I really think PHP is the best language ever I need to persuade those assholes on this
at last he win the war but lost the sex1 -
Was going to have some fun refactoring js code on the weekend, gf dragged me to a jazz festival instead </3
I enjoyed it, though1 -
!rant && silly
Well so I was thinking of ways to proposing to my non existent geek gf, so far I thought of
Would you do pair life programming with me?
How would you do it?4 -
This should sound like a no-brainer but I need some opinions. Is it worth it to use a pi-top instead of buying a laptop? For programming on the road, i'll just squeeze in a commit while traveling, ill just code instead of talk to my uncle in this reunion, quick commit while le gf is cooking, etc..., purposes? Are the disadvantages worth it enough for the advantages? I was hoping for an overall general programming companion including IoT.4
-
Have you ever need "modify/edit" button in your real world in talking??!
I told my GF a memory which I had with my frnds. It was about drinking and hangOver. She said "You didn't tell that to me!!" I said "I said that before! " again she said "No you didn't!!!" At that moment I was just looking for a modify/edit button!!!😒😒 -
When is the next space shuttle leaving for mars or moon? Have got to relocate out of this world. Pls who got SpaceX booking phone number. Or elon musk addy?.😔😔 you ask why? I need a geek gf and i can't find one on planet earth..😳😳😳1
-
Does anyone else ever get really down when you spend too much time away from your project? I feel myself retracting from society and all I ever want to do is drink coffee and teach myself stuff and work on my game.
It's getting to the point where I don't even want to see my gf and I don't even think about food. I see this happening to me in real time, but I don't want to stop it because I know it's what I need to accel. It's just, damn, it all makes me kind of sad and reflective.5
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