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Last time, my friend said CSS stands for
"Custom Sexy Styles" (dig into my older rants)
This time, he said
"Centering Somewhat Sucks"
Now he knows the deal.12 -
GUYS!!! SHE SAID "YES" !!!!
I'M SOOOO HAPPYYYYY!!!
All my dreams are becoming real! I was so nervous to ask, but it was worth it! I waited for the right moment, looked her in her eyes, she looked at mine.. And there I asked it: "are you willing to give it a try and install libreoffice instead of ms office?"
AND SHE SAID: "yes"!!!
Do I have the best wife or what!21 -
Just watched a video where someone (in relation to the new mass surveillance law in the netherlands) asked people on the street if they had something to hide.
Everyone said no.
"Could you get your phone and show me around?"
Everyone said yes.
"May I take a look at your messages/pictures/browsing history?"
Suddenly 80 percent said no.
"But you said you had nothing to hide!"
"I'm going to take that back."44 -
I met my boss in a bar...
He said that he needs someone testing their security. I said that I was in security.
He emailed me.
That's it. 😂1 -
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
SOMEONE WAS HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH ME AND I TOLD THEM I'M A DEVELOPER
THEY ASKED IF I HAD A GIRLFRIEND
HAHAHAHAHAHA
.
.
.
.
of course I do devs are the coolests10 -
“Start your own company” they said
“It will be fun” they said
“You’ll be your own boss” they said
Idiots forgot to mention how hard it would be. Late nights, early mornings. Client searching...
It’s all good though, locked down three well paying clients today. Drinks on me 😎8 -
A friend of mine went to her boss and said that she will quit if she won't get 50% salary raise - boss said ok. She told about it her working colleague so he went to the boss and said 50% or I'll quit - boss said cleanup your desk...5
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She said, tell me a simple, two word joke.
I said - "Internet Explorer"
Now we are getting married soon7 -
Was working on a style.css file in school. One of my friend approached me and said what is that?
I said, CSS!
*silence*
Custom Sexy Styles?
*facepalm*6 -
Manager: I NEVER SAID THAT!!
Dev: *Brings up email where he said exactly that*
Manager: I DON’T REMEMBER ASSIGNING YOU A TICKET TO LOOK THAT UP. GET BACK TO WORK!!
Dev: …3 -
I downloaded an API. Said API requires Java. Said Java version is 1.6... you can no longer download 1.7 or earlier versions..
RIP.12 -
Part 2 of my boss's stupidity
~FreezeFrame.mp4
*Wait! Wait! Wait! What!?*
*You actually reinstated my class?*
~anotherReverseRecordSound.mp3
-------------
Another late night and another set of pulls I needed to do in order to get caught up with the rest of the world.
I had just finished up dealing with a strange bug and had finally fixed it.
"I need to get caught up with my boss," I thought to myself.
I quickly git pull from my boss and a merge conflict occurs.
"Oh, ok that's fine." I say, "that's nothing too odd."
~FreezeFrame.mp4
"Wait! Wait! Wait! What!?" I shouted inside my head
I couldn't believe what I was seeing, there was a huge chunk of code that was being completely replaced.
"You're actually reinstating my class?" I nearly shouted.
"What!?" my girlfriend shouts from the other room.
"Come here a second, let me show you what it is," I shout back.
She rushes in real quickly, and I point at the code that was being changed.
"Remember that really long ass rant I made about how my boss had completely removed all of my code because he thought it was spaghetti?" I said
"Yeah?" she replied quickly, visually astounded by my excitement.
"He fucking put my class back into the code!!!"
"Wow!... I guess you beat him, huh?" she said.
"You better fucking believe it, but you want to know what's worse?"
She cocked her head sideways, "what?"
"He fucking built it worse than my original! The names don't properly reflect what he is trying do and he's doing a failure job at trying to copy what I had done in my original. He clearly doesn't know about git revert" I said between bouts of laughter.
"This is too good, I'm putting this on devRant!" I said
"I'm not in the least bit surprised that you would." She replied back.
Related Rant:
https://devrant.com/rants/1001888/...16 -
A faster, better YouTube they said, 'YouTube needs permissions to Contacts, Location, SMS, Microphone, Device ID and information', they said. :/
I'm good with a slower, worse YouTube.
22 -
My boss when:
Conversation regarding passwords:
Me: "It should be longer than that"
Other dev: "That's what she said"
*taking note of the inappropriate-ness*
Me: "We need to get a room for us"
PM: "That's what she said"
Me: "Come on Ryan!"
Other dev: "That's what she said"
Sales Lady: "This will never end!"
Me: "That's what she said!"
Office dies for a minute. Michael Scott would be proud.
2 -
Come to a festival they said.. .. It'll be fun they said.. Here I'm ranting and reading machine learning algorithms under a tree, while others party. Omg.
7 -
"Start at 4am" .. they said
"Nothing will go wrong" .. they said
WELL YOUR COFFEE MACHINE IS BROKEN AND THE MAINTENANCE GUYS GET HERE AT 7 😡3 -
Client: thank you for working through your weekend w___. We really appreciate that.
Me: can you please appreciate on LinkedIn?2 -
Client : So you can make our website. Right?
Me: yes :)
Client: okay, can you please check why our printer is not working?
Me: :|4 -
Attend all the meetings, they said. They're super important, they said. You'll get more code done if we hyper-report on progress they said. The bugs are piling up and we need to have even more meetings, they said.
STOP SAYING THINGS AT ME AND LET ME FUCKING CODE YOU INSUFFERABLE CUNTS.1 -
Eclipse is buggy they said.
Install NetBeans instead they said.
So this is the first impression :D
11 -
Let's go to the arcade they said. Let's play this game they said. Game.exe stopped working Windows said.
-
Have children and build a house. You will forget what you enjoyed doing in your free time. Because you will not have any more!
P. S. I could have attached my github activity graph instead, but that is even more embarrassing 😭
7 -
Serverless.
Serverless.
Serverless.
Serverless.
Serverless.
Serverless.
Serverless.
Serverless.
Serverless.
Serverless.
Serverless.
Serverless.
Serverless.
Serverless.
Serverless.
Serverless.
Serverless.
Serverless.
Serverless.
Serverless.9 -
*on the terminal cd-ing through my directory*
friend who's not a brogrammer: woah that's cool! Are you hacking your computer??!1 -
HOW!? Just HOW THE FUUUCK??!
Did anybody ever try to put a cinnamon desktop onto a ubuntu server version?? 'Cause this is simply fucked up!
Just add the ppa they said. Just run
$ apt-get install cinnamon
they said!
APT-GET YOUR FUCKING HEADS OUT OF YOUR ASSES!
ARRRGGGH. *table-flip*8 -
Better gradle they said.
Builds faster they said...
There is a difference between faster and less slower.4 -
Management said "we are agile"...now they ordered us to do changes in production server in daylight...I'm seriously think said FRAGILE...3
-
My girlfriend said that I say so many puns that I should write a book with all of them.
I said that I will call the book My Little Punny. -
'Get a smart device', they said.
'Unlimited media experience, internet powered!' they said.
What they didn't say, most of the apps are just webpages with an expiration date.
2 -
Let's make a WPF apllication... They said.
Let's add a ScrollViewer... They said.
Let's put a DataGrid inside the ScrollViewer... They said.
Let's disable scrollwheel on the DataGrid... They said.
Let's add a UserControl to a ColumnTemplate in the DataGrid... They said.
Let'a put a ComboBox with a custom template inside the UserControl... They said.
Now let's hope nobody tries to use the scrollwheel on the ComboBox.
Now I have to convince somebody that it's pretty much impossible to enable scrollwheel on the ComboBox.4 -
Met a girl on tinder
She asked - what do you do?
I said - I'm a programmer
She said -
Sorry I don't date nerds :(8 -
I friend of mine was looking for an internship. I asked him what he wanted to do, he said frontend. I said do you know JavaScript. He said that's a long name I like to just call it Java.1
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Why do some people have to be so self-centered?
They asked for my help with a logo. I said I will help even without any charges. I know they don't want to spend money. And that's why I frankly said I can help free. But then they said they will feel bad then and ask for my quotation. Ok, I sent.
They said "Sorry it is too high, can you give 60% discount?" Ok, sure.
Then they asked if they can get it in 4 days. Ok, I said.
Then they said they changed the name just now.
At least give me a fucking ounce of respect.2 -
My mum told me to, "get the sheets of the line."
I did as she asked, but later that night she came back and said, "where are the pillow cases?" -
LaTeX should have an option to notify you every time you catastrophically misspell words and turn a "six" into "sex"...
🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️6 -
"I'm a very bad girl" she said, biting her lip. "I need to be punished hard" she said and crawled toward him.
He said "Oh yes I will punish you in a way you can't imagine!" and installed windows 10 on her laptop. -
I'm a Linux user. I've been a Linux user for the last 14 years...
Having said that: Microsoft Office is much better than LibreOffice.
There, I said it.7 -
Fuck these people. They have PhDs in everything but don't know how to walk properly.
"Oh let me get right in front of you while you walk faster", have you ever driven a car you porg shit?
And these people that wear backpacks! OH MY GOD I HATE BACKPACKS! I mean, if you wear one please tell me you've been wearing them since you were born. Otherwise you're not calculating the extra space you take AND YOU JUST WALK LIKE A FUCKING GORILLA.
I have come to the point of inventing the walking permit. You're born with it, and starting at 18 y/o it can be stripped away. LEARN TO WALK.2 -
I just called my girlfriend to check up on her.
She said she's in church,
I said "put JESUS on the phone"
...
I don't trust that Bitch :)3 -
Taken a day off due to sickness, boss calls and said “can you fix an error on xyz website? it's urgent.”
I said No, I'm in hospital I can't. Even though I was at home.
He said “please look once whenever you'll reach home.”
Me: “sure.”
Idiot got no chill.
GFY5 -
- Sr said it's firewall's fault.
- I said it's not fw - it's gotta be application's fault.
- He walked away.
That was intense -
Come to the new year's party, they said.
It'll be fun, they said.
We'll leave you alone, they never said. -
Just finished writing some code.
Got one error.
"Alright" I said, "almost done!"
*fixes the error*
"2589 errors"
I guess someone up there really hates me...1 -
You're gonna use the 3D printer she said… You're gonna learn JavaScript she said… nope, all we learnt was three HTML tags that confused most people1
-
Had a weird but wonderful moment with my boss a little while ago - not being able to completely explain what I wanted to, I actually used the phrase (without thinking) "because... Reasons...". I realised what I just said as he looked at me and laughed, somehow we both just understood and it summed up the conversation.1
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Operation people (devs, designers, content writers) said clients are being unreasonable.
Clients said the outputs and results are not satisfactory.
Now I understood the phrase I have seen a lot here. -
So this system would cost you this much...
Client: seriously?? You can make this whole system in WordPress within 2 hours...3 -
A lot of devs I meet are pretty cool but a handful, including some on here, seem to think the world revolves around them and they deserve to have the ground dusted off in front of them.
That's fucking narcissistic and you need a reality check if you're like that. It's great you're passionate about your knowledge but you're not out here taking down terries and saving children from burning buildings, like calm down with the self righteousness
Just had to get that out after one too many "how dare anyone looketh unto me unless I request it in advance" posts. Like chill out, you're not that special 🙄14 -
Today I heard my boss counting 14,15,16,17 multiple times, then he said OMG 4 days, I asked him about the issue
So he said the easter will make 4 non-working days, I was surprised
Then he said yes
Turns he was counting Saturday and Sunday 😂 -
Someone found a shiny GPU library and asked us to support said library. We now support said library. Now they're finding out their hardware isn't supported by said library. And this is apparently now our problem...2
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When you want to write to the client "how are you?" but your auto correct knows your feelings and you send "how dare you?" instead....
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Typing email, tries to skip current song using keyboard multimedia key, ends up sending email... Welp Sharon I said what I said 🤣4
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♪
Linus said that it was open.
Linus said that it was GPL.
All could use it for whatever they like
And it was okay
♪3 -
People think that computer science is the art of geniuses but the actual reality is the opposite, just many people doing things that build on each other, like a wall of mini stones.
Donald Knuth2 -
It wont go down, he said, it can't crash he said,
several DDoS later
You won your coffee and honor,
Touchè -
Add wifi they said..
It'll be a simple addition that adds a ton more usability they said...
Now just tack on access point mode, everything is already there.. that'll be quick and easy they said..
..... no, no, it's not... It's a fucking pain in the ass dammit!! -
I once met a guy who said tech guys chose windows over Mac's because windows goes wrong often so it keeps the tech guys in work!
And Mac's hardly ever break so they didn't want their business to use them
He clearly hasn't met tech guys we don't want to be dealing with your fucking problems
It made me furious internally... I said nothing.
Seriously do you think all tech guys in the world joined a union and went 🤔 how can we make sure we have more work ... Fuck off you ponsy twat6 -
Windows 10 is safe they said. Signature/https can be trusted they said.
When even NSA disclose "hacks" you know it's too big
https://wired.com/story/...4 -
sometimes I wonder what "recruitrant" would look like. "he said he knows html, but he also said he doensnt know a thing about cobalt, wtf bro"1
-
Angular2 rant..
It's in rc they said, write prod ready apps they said, it will be fun they said.. Arjziglfns.
just started rewriting for rc5 and modules, multiple declarations everywhere fml.
-_-7 -
If a PM ever tells me to rip the website template of the internet from the client because we don't have credentials to the existing server I'M GOING TO KICK HIS ASS. Maintaing this PIECE OF SHIT IS A FUCKING PAIN.
The other guys did a really shitty job, would be better to redo-it from the ground up and save a lot of time :((( -
I was talking to my non tech friend, one friend of her who is working at one big kind of MNC (Mobile network companies) asked me what do you use in VFox.
I have no fucking idea what's VFox. I said I have no idea what is, we don't use it. He immediately asked me what technologies you guys are using (I am working in a startup)?
I said we are using Ruby, Ruby On Rails and Python, Djanho. He said you use all the old technologies.
I was like: WTF :😂, Okay tell me what are the new technologies? My friend interrupted us.
Later I googled to see what is VFox. It is actually a hosting company and this guy who don't even have any idea about AWS, GCP, using VFox saying Ruby and Python are old technologies. Lol.. -
For months had a static clicking very faint noise on my creative speakers. Googled every issue with my x-fi titanium, swapped pcie around, changed cables you name it. In the end I blamed "dying" speakers amp as they have 10 years now only to realize a minute ago it was interference from the fecking cell phone's 4g...1
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Was in a meeting. Someone said "fuck records". I was like lol wtf then my brain just realized that he just said "fact records" Lol haha the hell 🤯😂4
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Every time I updated API document, I ask you to comment
You said it looks fine
And when we start integration, you said this need to change
🤷♂️ -
Got into an argument the other day over the definition of scripting languages.
He said python isn’t because it can be compiled while I said it can be both since you can you can use without compiling. Same could be said for Java when using with Selenium for automation.
Thoughts?5 -
I asked my team-mate ."did you run the best model for testing"?
He said:- He said "I ran the most recent model "
I am like:- OK . Thank You -
Okay guys.. I am so lost! I want to be a developer but can't decide on a certain area. Like should I be a web developer or mobile app? If I am a web developer, should I concentrate on front end or back end.. If mobile app developer.. Should I focus on Android or iOS or cross platform?
I really can't decide what to do and what to learn? Feels like to learn everything and at the end not learning actually anything.
Any suggestions guys? I will be really grateful!7 -
PM: let's show customer the new feature while it's still in the develop branch
Me: no fucking way this could ever happen -
when a coworker doesnt acknowledge what u said , and proceeds to tell you what u just said right back 5 minutes later.3
-
Now arguing with the ceo of startup I’m part of that we can use the ugly generator for avatar, and he said we should use the duck generator, and I said the duck has virtually no personality, but he said it fits the simplicity design flow
Man15 -
Make us a webshop, they said. But we'll handle everything from the checkout and after ourselves, they said.
Help us, they said. We can't get the grips on checkout and thereafter, they said.
This is going to be a long-lasting project.1 -
My manager said hey why don't you react? I was like... react to what??? He said oh gosh Download React.js I mean😁👊👊
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:rage 😡 😡 Gee I hope I get a fucking 0x80004005 error again today trying to validate my Mac copy of Office 365. I guess it's back to OpenOffice for me. 😡 😡 😡1
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/(ò.ó)┛彡┻━┻
Why can't you just do what I say... I don't need ur opinion on points that I specifically stated should be done a certain way....
I don't want to spend 30mins arguing with you... I already got enough work as it is and ur supposed to be helping me...
I don't have time to explain everything to you... Just what I need you to do....
There's a reason I got promoted and you didn't...4 -
Figured at last that nobody would value or appreciate the work of a developer -_- so from now on have to give appreciation to my own work -_-
-
I know you think you understand what I said , but what you don't understand is what I said is not what i mean😵😵😵😵1
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Any examples of a a good client? Please mention your story! Let's see if we can have some good clients! :D3
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Anyone work with golang for Web development purposes? I am an intern and need to work with golang which I have no idea... Any help to get me started?? Thanks!4
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Have you ever need "modify/edit" button in your real world in talking??!
I told my GF a memory which I had with my frnds. It was about drinking and hangOver. She said "You didn't tell that to me!!" I said "I said that before! " again she said "No you didn't!!!" At that moment I was just looking for a modify/edit button!!!😒😒 -
An assistant manager asked to SOMEUNREALISTICEXPECTATION, and said it had to be done within SOMESTUPIDLYCLOSEDAY.
I said, of course, I would not do it.
He answered "no problem, we can go with SOMEPARTOFTHEUNREALISTICEXPECTATION before SOMEEVENCLOSERDAY (ie: tomorrow).
I have already said a "no" before, didn't feel like saying no again.
After all, I said, what could possibly go wrong?
The time I left office, Friday night, it everybody's guess.3 -
Anyone here writes regular blog or has their own personal website to showcase their projects? I have been trying to do this for a long time but never really got myself started with this.. Any suggestions would be super helpful! Thanks!3
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Even if I was in desperate need of getting a job, I would be jobless than getting an entry level job in TCS.
I said what I said !!2 -
So I've just updated a chrome extension on an android tablet, with regex from my bed, also got said chrome extension running on said tablet...
Technology is getting good
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