HTML: Hate This Meaningless Life
CSS: Can't Style Shit
JS: Just Shit
Java: Just another vicious asshole
PHP: PHP Hates People
Go: (the "fuck yourself" is silent)
.NET: Now Everybody Thinks (they can code)

I really should find a more productive thing to do on my breaks.

Yesterday's JR web dev interview:
👨🏻‍💻: Experience?
👶: Well JS, pyhton, UX Design and bit of Sass.
👨🏻‍💻: Feel like you'll have a hard time learning PHP?
👶: Well if it needs to be PHP, I can learn it.. Are you using a certain CMS?
👨🏻‍💻: Cool, good. Yeah we're using WordPress and need to support our sites for IE8.
👶:... Well.. ehm.. *runs away and screams in panic 💨*

How a web application works

2010: PHP, CSS, Vanilla JS, and a LAMP Server.

Ah, the simple life.

2016: Node.js, React, Vue, Angular, AngularJS, Polymer, Sass, Less, Gulp, Bower, Grunt.

I can't handle this, I'm shifting domains to Machine Learning.

2017: Numpy, Scipy, TensorFlow, Theano, Keras, Torch, CNNs, RNNs, GANs and LOTS AND LOTS OF MATH!

Okay, okay. Calm down there fella.
JavaScript doesn't seem that complicated now, does it? 🙈

HTML - hot tomato monkey language
CSS - crazy stupid script
PHP - per hour pay
JS - just scream
JAVA - just a valid acronym
C# - see sharply
Objective C - OOP cash
C - cash
C++ - cash++

Popularity of programming languages according to the DRRDSI (DevRant Rubber Duck Selling Index):

1. JS
2. Java
3. Python
4. C#
5. PHP
6. C++
7. Ruby
8. SQL
9. Swift

Not today!

!$rant

Think I finally finished the header section of my portfolio site :) It's starting to come together.

Developers

People bashing JS and PHP while I wonder why XML still exist.

"Fuck JavaScript, its such a shitty language" seems to be quite a common rant today. It seems as if JS is actually getting more hate than PHP, which is certainly odd, considering the stereotype.

So, as someone who has spent a lot of time in JS and a lot of time elsewhere, here are my views. Please, discuss your opinions with me as well. I am genuinely interested in an intelligent conversation about this topic.

So here's my background: learned HTML/CSS/JS in that order when I was 12 because I liked computers. I was pretty shitty at JS until U was at least 15, but you get the point, Ive had it sploshing about in my brain for a while.

Now, JS certainly has its quirks, no doubt, but theres nothing about the language itself that I would say makes it shitty. Its a very easy leanguage to use, but isn't overdeveloped like VB.net (Or, as I like to call it, TheresAFunctionForThat)

Most of the hate is centered around JS being used for a very broad range of systems. I doubt JS would be in the rant feed so often if it were to stay in its native ecosystem of web browsers. JS can be used in server backend, web frontent, desktop and mobile applications, and even in some system services (Although this isn't very popular as of yet). People seem to be terrified that one very easy to learn language can go so far. And, oh god, its interpreted... How can a system app run off an interpreted language? That's absurd.

My opinion on JSEverything is that it's progress. Thats what we're all about, right? The technologies already in place are unthreatened by JS, it isn't a gamechanger. The only thing JS integration is doing is making tedius and simple tasks easier. Big companies with large systems aren't going to jump ship and migrate to JS. A startup, however, could save a fucking ton of development time by using a JS framework, however. I want to live in a world where startups can become the next Google, because technology will stagnate when youre trying to protect your fortune, (Look at Apple for fucks sake) but innovation is born of small people with big ideas.

I have a feeling the hate for JS is coming from fear of abandoning what you're already doing. You don't have to do that. JS is only another option (And a very good one, which is why it's becoming so popular).

As for my personal opinion from my experiences... I've left this part til the end on purpose. I love programming and learning and creating, so I've never hated a lamguage, really. It all depends on what I want to do. In the times i've played arpund with JS, I've loved it. Very very easy. The idea of having it on both ends of web development makes a lot of sense too, no conversion, just direct communication. I would imagine this really helps with speed, as well. I wouldn't use it in a complicated system, though. Small things, medium size projects: perfect. Running a bank? No.

So what do you think about this JSUniverse?

So at the beginning there was assembly.

But people wanted something more highlevel, so C was born.

But writing big projects was a pain so C++ was invented.

But then the web started to become more popular and C++ wasn‘t really good at that, so Rasmus Lerdorf created PHP.

And then everything moved to the client and should be loaded dynamically for better UX, so everyone writes JS.

But JS doesn‘t have a good performance, so people created web assembly compiled from C...

Am i the only one who sees the irony in this?

I'm working on my own code editor with 'multiplayer', option to draw stuff, option to design algorithm schemes, option to browse SQLite databases and most importantly - I've based entire interface on HTML/CSS/JS and entire backend on C# and PHP, so it works both online (via browser) and offline (via program).

Tell me whatchu think, it's still work in progress.
(I've removed the name of it so when I share this project with my future employer, he doesn't connect the dots)

!$rant

Made this last night :) it pulls all my profile info from devrant and my last three rants.

I know python , JS, java etc. Some might know php, some others might swift and so on.. but the only language understood by everyone all over the globe is this 😂(wait for it to load, and you will believe what I'm saying :P )

Function definition in various programming languages

//JavaScript/PHP

function myfunc()
{

}

//Swift

func myfunc()
{

}

//Kotlin

fun myfunc()
{

}

//Rust

fn myfunc()
{

}

//Next...

f myfunc()
{

}

Hot take: PHP is pretty good nowadays.

I'm a Laravel dev right now and things just get done so quickly. Every language has its problems but the meme of PHP hate seems to be made more out of ignorance these days. You could find just as many problems with any other language.

For those that say I'm biased because I work through the framework more than the language, I'd ask don't you do the same? ASP.NET, Java EE, the millions of JS frameworks, all these also make your life easier within their languages.

In the end, work with what makes you happy and productive and be done with it.

!rant

So I was digging through some old projects of mine and I came across this lil pokedex project I had started but not finished sometime last year. The frontend is great but sadly the backend was non-existent because I didnt have that knowledge yet.

But now that I do, I'm thinking of building the backend and just keeping the frontend i have with some tweaks here and there. Anyways, I'm pretty proud of this project.

c ❤️
c++ ❤️
c# ❤️
js ❤️
java ❤️
php
python ❤️
dart ❤️
swift ❤️
kotlin ❤️

I fucking hate websites that refuse to show their content unless you enable their JS clusterfuck. Yes I am blocking JavaScript because I'm sick of all those goddamn frameworks from God knows what domain. IS THAT FUCKING WRONG?!! I don't hate front-end devs, in fact I respect them for keeping up with design needs of shitty clients. But that fucking Web 2.0 with 50 frameworks per tab and no HTML or even PHP whatsoever for those who block your JS crap.. shove it right up your fucking ass!!!

the poor guy wonder why the condition does not work ^^

php : dont leave me alone. i own the web. wtf?!!
python : really? i am the best 😎
js : such an idiot. you need me.
c : wtf is wrong with this kids?! go play outside.
.
.
.
asp.net : i'm here, anybody? no? ok.

Languages I have used this week at work:
PHP, JS, VB6, VB.net, C#.
Im not kidding.
Time to relax with some good ol' beer 🤣

I accepted a job that requires coding in html, css, js and php and I don't code in those languages at all. Whoops.

Oh boy.

I recently, I switched job for an open source company in Lyon, FR.

They had struggles to find me something to do (still has, tbh), so they sent me to a client of theirs, to help for a biiiiig project that's really old (created in 2001)

The thing was... Horrible. Lots of styles were set via JavaScript without condition, I found 3 different versions of jQuery, at one time they added Object oriented development in a context where they had HTML, JS, (inline) CSS and... PHP of course, inside of one PHP file. The architecture was more "uuuh these files in this directory will be about this functionality".

And it goes on forever. I told them that I hadn't the required level of PHP knowledge to have an excuse to get the fuck out of there, my company didn't like it but it was either that or my mental health.

Its kind of funny how the things I use everyone hates

The best thing about being a developer:
- You can work from anywhere anytime.

The worst thing about being a developer:
- You can work from anywhere anytime.

>> this === rant
<< true

At beginning of this year, I only knew HTML, JS, and CSS so I just applied for offers like "Jr Apprentice Dev in Front-End"
In a interview call, the woman told me that they will send me a test asking about my JS and HTML5 knowledge.
When I look in my inbox, the mail subject says "Back-end Test".

Then I call the woman:

Me: "Hello, I have received the test mail, but maybe it's wrong. I applied for a Front-End position and the test is about backend! "

She: "Do you have skills in JS and HTML5?"

Me: "Yes!, and CSS3"

She: "Well, the test is about that. JS, jQuery, and HTML5"

Me: "..."

Me: "Sorry, that languages are Front-End. In the subject say 'Back-End' and Back-End is PHP, SQL, MySQL, Java, .Net... I don't know nothing about that. I only know HTML, JS, CSS."

She: "It's the same"

Me: "I sorry but it's not the same. Fron-End is client-side, what users sees. Animation, colors, FXs, buttons, forms... And Back-End is server-side, what users doesn't see."

She: "Well, JS, HTML, and CSS is backend for us. We call it that way too"

Me: "Sorry but that is wrong. I invite you to read some basic info. Now I am confused"

Of course that I am not confused. That idi0t was wrong.
Perhaps recruiters should take some info about areas where they are recruiting... (:T)

at a recent interview:
🕴️ interviewer: are you familiar with PHP?
Jr Me 👶: well I'm currently studying it but I thought this was a front end position? I'm looking to work with js, sass and UI design.
🕴️: Well PHP is frontend and we are working with it in our CMS.
👶:... *Getting weird WordPress flashbacks*.. I think I'll continue looking but thanks for your offer.

Later that day I checked if their websites have wp-login.php and woop de fucking doo... It does.. as well as all their clients sites..

Dodging bullets like the freaking Choose one! Ps. Second time this happens.. gotta start checking this before going to the interview..

99% of our server-side code is Python and PHP (legacy applications).

Asked a junior dev to make a small update to a PHP site so we could have it run some cleanup server side. Plenty of existing PHP code to look at and piece something together. Should be 50 lines max.

Did he use the existing PHP code to do this task? Nope. Did he at least use Python? Nope.

Node.js

His response?

"I couldn't figure it out and Node.js seemed to have good support for mongo so I used that instead."

We have 0 lines of server side javascript. Never had node installed. Literally none of the devs use node here. Not only is this completely outside of our tech stack, but he had to take the time to learn Node and JS just because he thought it was easier.

Much would of rather he put in twice as much time to learn the tools of our stack.

😂😂😂

PHP7
0 == ‘foobar’ // true

PHP8
0 == ‘foobar’ // false

Nuff said. Before you tell me that js also has quirks, just remember that js having quirks doesn’t make php less garbage.

Your mind is programmable - if you're not programming your mind, someone else will program it for you.

The company I interned at last summer decided to adopt a JS framework a little over a year ago. The managers went with the old Angular 1.x because they didn't want a JS build process. Each page has ~100 script tags on it, and these are manually included in various files (no automated way to include dependencies). None of the CSS/JS files are minified, either.

They really should have chose Angular 2+, or an entirely different framework (React, VueJS). They're also just now upgrading the codebase from PHP 5.6 to PHP 7.2 (5.6 support ended a long time ago, and security support ends this month).

I love the company itself but these practices are poor.

I may be working there full time eventually. I hope to eventually help with the inevitable transition to a newer framework once Angular 1.x is dead since I am an avid user of newer JS technologies. Any tips on convincing manager(s) towards newer technology? (Or at least convincing them to combine+minify these files in production to reduce # of requests and bandwidth.)

Also this company's product has millions of active users.

So a friend approached me about joining an internship. Said you'll learn php, js , jquery and bootstrap. I'm like okay I'm already learning this stuff, cool but is there a stipend or something? She says no but I'll have to pay 5000₹ (72$).

I said "ni🅱🅱a if you're paying, that's not sex that's prostitution" and noped the fuck outta there.

Its just sad how many students with no skills are actually paying to get an internship nowadays.

Share your VS Code installed extensions here.
Mine is: Alignment, Better Comments, change-case, Colonize, CSS Peek, DotENV, File Utils, GitLens (my favorite!), Gulp Snippets, JS-CSS-HTML Formatter, Laravel 5 Snippets, Laravel Blade Snippets, Material Icon Theme, npm Intellisense, Numbered Bookmarks, Path Intellisense, PHP Debug, PHP DocBlocker, PHP Intelephense, PHP IntelliSense, Prettify JSON, Quokka.js, snippet-creator, Vetur.

Feels like there are redundant extensions here that I need to uninstall.
Happy Friday and Cheers! Excited for Infinity War movie! 😎

when I come back to a piece of code that I did not comment

coffee Into Code

When you're asked to extend a functionality on a piece of code and the 2.5k lines in the view are a juicy mix of PHP, HTML, CSS, JavaScript and the functionality relying on jQuery trasversing through the document tree and expecting things to be in their place. Oh did I mention html build with strings in JS? I'm going to love this day! WHY, JUST WHY?! *gasp*

So ppl are saying that js isn't a programming language cuz you don't need to compile it, so that means python and php isn't programming either..?

been solving a bug for almost 2 hours and i have just solved it by turning the incoming data into string. damn it

Fixed some bugs, time to go on a walk!

I was hired as JS Dev, done some projects with Angular and Node, after several months my boss told me to maintain a FUCKING PHP webapp with no documentation and shitty codebase. After he saw the results, he told me *man, you got some potential*, and he assigned me to build websites using wordpress(WTF is he thinking!). I thought that was the last time he would do something ridiculous, Yesteday he asked me if i can do Video Animation(After Effects)!!

Php array methods, all of them, or should i say hash methods

They should fix them. I mean they should fix placing of callback and subject params, because.
I mean
array_filter(array, callback)
array_map(callback, array)

Or they should make array a object like js

OMFG! Who’s bright fucking horrible stupid ass idea was it to mix Ajax with php (php deciding the ajax paths) with random js outputting HTML inside random fucking static divs found no where near the logical route of content.

Trying to add a simple fucking status to a gigantic cluster fuck of a legacy project is just FUCK.

If I could I would burn this bitch to the ground and start again I would, But no, it’s needed.

Someone kill me before I break the shit out of this thing, I would take a wordpress project right now instead.

Coding PHP that prints JS that prints HTML and hating myself and everyone who sets “requirements”.

Today I finish a 6-month course called "Webdeveloper". It was meant to be a further education but it felt kinda basic.

HTML, CSS, JS, jQuery, PHP, Typo3 with some Typoscript

I still don't feel prepared for job market :/

Having one of those days where the code works on the development VM but not on the production box.... FML

when you get hired as a PHP developer but most of the work you do is front end...

-- Once upon a time in a long forgotten country, a most wise wizard created a magic software that would replace all TODO comments in PHP files with actual code...

-- But dad, that's the wrong story. You wanted to tell the story of the WTF witch who makes all JS objects falsy.

Me -- Hm, okay mister, you got me. Let's see.

Me again -- Once upon a time in the far-off country of Whatthefuckia...

Man I'm so proud of my son.

When I wait for code completion

I need bleach...

Lot of bleach.

When you think that not using a JS framework is bad...

Ever saw a Frankenstein of a HTML, PHP and JQuery? Full rewrite of an old project with more than enough time allowed....

Just... That was not awful enough.

*sobs* so the dev added bootstrap onto this pile of garbage... Instead of rewrite....

Think I missed CSS or included it in HTML? Lol. No.

No CSS. Inline. HTML 4 Tags.

?>
<table width=40 class="table table-striped">
<?php
foreach( $table as $row ) {
....
<input onkeyup="..." onkeydown="..." class="form-control"
...

To give you a basic example of how worse it is...

But the best. The lead developer does not understand why I was speechless.

i need more beer. And bleach. Filth and disgust must get out of my system

Just saw this on FB..

Well I don't do much Webdev but that won't work for sure.

The first closing bracket ends the function Block -.-
Nice try Marketing team

Got my first laptop while I was overseas.

It was a windows hp laptop with Vista.

It was an absolute piece of shit.

Decided to find the people responsible of it.

Got to what a software engineer was.

Boss told me to look in the library to see if i find some books on the subject. Got a Java and C++ book.

Shit was hard af cuz I had no clue what I was doing, but I liked it. Decided to look more into an application wise platform of study rather than doing basic CLI shit. Got into web development with Java. Got a hold of more JS. Liked JS more cuz shit was easy, found about server side JS with classic ASP, did VBScript as well.

Eventually found Python, fell in love but hated the whitespace ussage for block level code etc. Found Ruby, to this day the most beautiful language according to me. Read about why's poignant intro to Ruby.

Dug it, but wanted some other things. Found out about the study of data structures ans algorithms, then harvard's free cs50 course, then mit courseware, rice's python class. Took all of them. CS50 introduced php, liked it, sounded like a drug, was easy to use, for whatever fucking reaskn my ass decided to use version 4 even though 5 was already out. Learned to appreciate advancements in programming language even more

Hipster phase, while studying php got more into JS and web design with more css concepts, wanted my shit to be pretty. Somehow landed with Common Lisp. Mind fucking blown.

Continued with php. Got into uni, math made sense through programming, ok so I am stupid, but not that stupid, python is the best calculator ever.

bring it bitches.

Graduated.

Still don't know what I am doing.

Okay, first rant here.
Spend most of my morning searching for a js file that was supposed to build some graphs in a report page in this legacy system (still in active development) just to find it embedded inside a random .php file being included inside a wall of if-elses (that shit has around 100 lines) on the index.php (that somehow manages to route all the nonsense that's going on there).. was it really that difficult to make it a proper .js file? and actually import it on the page that is using it? c'mon...

Has this ever happened to any job applicant here:

Job requirements:
Java, angulaj js, TDD, node js and demonstrated usage of noSql DBMS.

You qualify for the job and only to find the work mainly requires php

when the computer freezes 5 minutes before an important demo

Why do job descriptions for ONE developer position, list down ALL the known programming languages, all the web technologies and frameworks available? From java kotlin swift php js jquery node to ionic angular laravel python and what not. Wtf? And this is not one, this is about 70 percent of the job descriptions I see these days!!

What's your favorite IDE to use and why?

I saw a little IntelliJ hate on another rant, but so far it has been pretty useful for me, I only need 1 IDE for Java/PHP/HTML/Python/JS/SQL

Pic unrelated, just for attention and the LOL's

What is your favorite editor for HTML, CSS, JS, PHP?

A visionless CEO is the biggest nightmare for a startup.

that feeling you get when you think you still have a lot to do in a module
then you recheck the requirements and turns out you've already finished the module

React Native or Flutter for mobile development? Why? What are the Pros and Cons?

I'm a PHP and JS guy currently learning the MEAN stack. Thanks!

I'm so tired yo... I'm on 2 startups, one is mine the other some dude I'm working with. Both sites built in PHP. Another side gig slack bot thing in Node JS. And then 2 day time jobs in which I'm deciding which one to quit out of... 🫠😵💀

that moment when the client reports a bug on the website, and you ask if they cleared the cache, but you fix the bug in the meantime...

Python developers starts writing his code with indentation and on multiple lines. Javascript developers look at him and writes the entire script in one line. Php developers looks at python and js developer and starts writing $$$$$$$$$$$$$

Everything makes sense now

When it's midnight and all you can think about is whether to deploy a personal project in a language/framework you know well or to take advantage and learn something new...

Visual Basic at high-school, pascal and C and Java at University. VBA for macros on a job. html+css+js learnt o er a weekend to pass the screening for a new job, then ruby and php on that job to build internal tools. Now I am into python for data science. It has been fun.

Other programming languages and cleaning puppy shit.

Situation:
I'm coding in C# and take a coffee break, upon taking this break, I see something on devRant, Stack Overflow, or even just a random thought comes to mind.

Two hours later.
Written various snippets of code in JAVA, C++, PHP, JS - and have done nothing to do with my initial work.

In the above, I have cleaned puppy shit at least 10 times.

✓ Survive 2018 with Flutter
✓ Survive 2018 with PHP
❌ Survive just today with fucking React and Js

2019 gonna be fun 🥂

Hey, my team is attending a hackathon kind of thing tonight. Can you recommend us some interesting php+js stacks?

Today looking at code thinking to myself "I thought I fixed that code...shit that was in my dream!"

Why me?!

Just had my first freelance job here i Korea. I was told that most(?) of my job was going to be front-end web dev, and that the 'required' skillset was html/css. I thought I'd be making some free money, and I was wrong. Ended up doing all sorts of things like sql,js,ajax,php, and EVEN design. Apparently "developers" here are people who can do pretty much everything on computers. How many other countries are like this?

Thing that just occurred to me.

Write backend of website in Node with Mongo.

Write front end of website by using PHP to echo data from mongo and inline styles. PHP will also echo any inline JS that needs to make AJAX calls back to handle responsiveness.

Write a website with JS as its backend and PHP as its front end because the world has gone absolutely mad and you dgaf anymore.

One of our clients codebase, once almost completely PHP, now officially contains more JS than PHP code. I don't know if we should celebrate or cry.

I don't know what to do with my life anymore, as a self taught web developer, I started like anybody doing HTML, CSS and js, and then I met PHP and WordPress.
why the fuck PHP is ugly ? and why WordPress is uglier ? I tried to learn how to build a simple plugin in WordPress but the hooks system make me want to kill my self, how the fuck PHP powers 80% of the web ? every time I write PHP I wish I was never born, the problem is that I can't change job because I am old and I live in a fucking country who is technologically primitive, they fucking know only PHP and JAVA, no Node, No Ruby, No Python, only fucking PHP.
I learned React, I learned Node but you know what I did this last year ? I raped a themeforest theme for about dozen plus websites, A SINGLE THEME FOR MORE THAN DOZEN CLIENTS, my boss does not care, only me who is not sleeping at night because a tried to customize a Prestashop theme and it gave me cramps in the stomach, I feel depressed and useless, I want to quite my job but I can't, I have mouths to feed, WHY THE FUCK DID I FELL IN LOVE WITH PROGRAMMING, I was happy fixing computers, what can I do if the only project that I have are WordPress and Prestashop?
how did you do to stay sane when working with wordpress and prestashop ? are you not human ?I can't take it anymore.
I need a new road map, fuck it I will focus only on JS and Node and fuck PHP.

I'm in a programming school that gives only projects in C and a method to learn quickly.
Then we don't have official web classes or anything so we have "Labs" or "Clubs" and last time I was at a web programming club, leaded by students (because it gives me some more credits).

I was very surprised because they began to try to learn us the Javascript without talking about DOM.

And their explications about server-side and client-side codes were not clear (and obviously not exhaustive).
I have some (not a lot neither) experience in web programming so I helped him to make his course more understandable but I can't believe that these courses are given by students who don't have any idea of what's web programming...

I like how in one rant I'll read about someone who's tired of not reading any actual rants (The "Reee idk how to use the filters" people) and in the next someone's complaining about the the number of rants concerning XYZ (For example, PHP, JS, Semicolons)

You're just crusty bastards! There's no pleasing everyone

Got contacted for a job "interview" by a company because they were looking for "people with my skill set". All my profiles say I am a fullstack web dev with experience in frontend js frameworks and js and php backend frameworks.

Come in to find the "interview" is an exam. Ok, fine. My brain could do with some exercise.

After the basic IQ type questions, I get the web dev exam.

It is 95% of the questions are about CSS and HTML basics.

WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK.

Since I am running a home server and want to be updated on what the stats are, I did create a webpage where I can get the "renewed" information via ajax (not with jQuery) in every 5 seconds. The thing is that I don't get the "new" information. It's still the old information that keeps reshown in the div.
I checked the server.php file. It keeps getting regenerated. Since, that is the case, it isn't the server to blame. But more likely the client.php is the one that is causing problems. May someone know how to deal with that?

Learn nodejs, love it, abandon it coz most jobs in the country want php and none heard about the new js frameworks.

1 year later, decide to change job, look at posting to find senior php position, all companies want node, angular, react & vue...

you know what really grinds my gears.. when agencies/companies post "PHP developer" positions and require ajax, js, jquery, angular and WordPress templates... its a back-end language ffs

I used to think decrappifying my own CSS was hard... trying to help someone else is a whole other monster.
PHP, JS all have some method to their madness but CSS: “oh you center aligned your heading? Well guess everything else needs to be pushed wherever the fuck I feel like on the page”

So I am for sure not the best web developer but I have been working on a personal project for over a year now.
Teaching everything myself I somehow got to a pretty oldschool, stack I still use: PHP, HTML5, JS with Jquery, ...

Should I feel bad about that? I somehow can't bring myself to learning something else because at this time I can do everything I want to do with my simple setup. Am I missing out on something big?

At the age of 10 I got interest in ''changing computer'' things. I started to watch over the shoulder (I don't know if you can say that in English ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ) of my dad. He programmed I2C and other microcontroller.
I started with little batch files and Visual Basic. I think we all know the ''Virus'' with shutdown 😂
At school in the computer lesson we learned a few other languages. I was the only one who learned these languages at home too. The biggest problem is that you think ''I learn at school and at home I can play games''.
Some day I started to learn PHP and Java at home. I came to Java with Minecraft. Yes, Minecraft. You can learn so many things (like the structure of a network packages from the server) and you can visualize everything with blocks.
Since the professional colleague we learn C# and Python which I use in some projects at home too, for example for the rasperrypi.
Now I'm 17 and I can C#, Visual Basic, PHP, JS, Python, JS and HTML

Prof introducing a batch of non-programmers to JavaScript.

Me: Ha! I'm going to ace this class.

Disclosure: Its an Art school, We're studying Multimedia Arts, and we have a couple of Web Development classes that focus on html, css, js, and php. (and I have been a web developer for 4 years)

TIL that javascript was named so to leech of the popularity of java. This clears a lifetime of confusion thanks.

src: O'Reilly learning PHP, MYSQL and JS

The client wants the booking project to be all in JS Framework (not specifying any) and NO PHP since client hates PHP (and I don't know why) from the very beginning when the only dev was my former front-end partner (lead dev).
I was wondering why the client still continued the project, YET the file extensions were still on PHP. I asked the lead dev what happened and answered he didn't know know how to start migrating to JS framework and just started NATIVE PHP.
Still, as being a good dev and a supporter to lead dev, did accept and the project as lead dev's assistant. Fixed bugs, enhancement and responsive (DEMMIT, I FREAKING HATE RESPONSIVE) and later complained why am I doing front-end tasks, when it's not my task, supposedly. I EXPECTED MORE ON BACK-END TASKS!

(HERE'S THE EPIC ADVISE GOES AND CALLED OURSELVES MASTER)

Me: Master, why did you not started the project in JS Framework instead of native php?
Lead Dev : You know what master, this project has been already done if the client allows US to use WordPress for this project will still be migrated to JS. And now, WE are trapped to make every window size be responsive since there are already a standard for each window screen.
Me: (DO NOT INCLUDE ME IN YOUR FUCKING SORCERY! I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DID THERE AND WHY D'YOU ACCEPT THIS PROJECT, SLAVE, WHEN YOU ALREADY KNOW YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DO IT, IN THE FIRST PLACE. STOP BEING A DICKHEAD AND DO NOT WASTE CLIENT'S MONEY AND EFFORT FOR YOUR USELESS BUNCH OF SHIT!) Indeed, responsive is a such a pain in the arse.
Lead Dev: Maybe, let's just finish our tasks first and wait the project to be migrated to JS.

P.S. The project manager and client asked me if I do know how to migrate the project from native PHP to JS framework and sabotaged lead dev. OFCOURSE, YES! But, I did not respond that quickly, unless eerm, you know, I earn greater than lead dev. Truth be told and practically speaking, it's really unfair for me if I accept the back-job when the lead dev delivers inaccurate deliverables and earned greater than me. No way, Jose!

Now, I am not working with him because I'm super done with him and later did I know, lead dev is looking for Drupal dev to be working for the booking project.

I've just taken over what seemed like a simple PHP project, but under the hood, I've discovered that it contains 132 CSS and 719 JS files.

Well thus far is a bunch of rails small jobs. Funny enough this week I managed to get a bunch of php contracts "with the possibility to extend for larger contracts"

I am not really interested in long term contracts, but being that most developers that I see hired for small php jobs are not used to the patterns of development used for modern php and that i bring in a lot of my own stuff for it I know that I will be maintaining them for the long run.

So good stuff. Lets see how the week pans out. Getting really excited. Even tho I see more horrors in php than even on JS or ASP.NET or Java I still really love all languages that I have used. And normally I work like a mechanic. In which I bill by the hour(i am an expensice hooker...I mean developer) and finish everything as fast as possible to let me lazy around the house. So for example, if something takes 10 hours I will do it i 5 or less and charge all 10 hours, or I would charge per build(custom login and registration that kind of deal) and yeah. Pretty basic.

Good shit man!

At night is when my creativity starts flowing like a motherfucker. The moment when all the tasks are done for the day and you can start working on your own projects and just lay back and smoke (or drink, whichever you prefer) and zone the fuck out with some good music. Oh and if I've gotten a good work out in that day, then there's no stopping me.

I had no plans to even create an admin panel for my own small project but last night I made one just to make it look professional. After that, I got an idea for a separate project which I started working on. I usually write my ideas down so that I don't get into a complete project cluster fuck with 50 half completed projects, but sometimes you get that golden one that you have to start (currently those are the only two unfinished projects I got).

After all this time it's back to the basics mhm? Maybe yoloing PHP via SFTP to a single machine along with few thousand LLOCs of vanilla JS wasn't such a bad idea after all...

dependency injection is for pussies, real programmer downloads only required library files into tidy folders.

This one just popped into my head. A little late but still pretty idiotic.

So in college, shortly after we learned HTML, CSS, PHP and some very basic JS (and various other things ofc) we had to choose which study direction we wanted to go.
This included web development.
My brilliant classmate asked me the following around that time: "after all the webdev stuff they taught us, I don't know what more they can teach us"

So yeah..........

Idiot

Working with multiple different languages at a time is a crazy fun.
I work with ActionScript , php and JS at a time . So different syntax are ultimate fun . It requires lot of attention
To declare a variable
AS3 : var sample:String = "hello";
Php: $sample = "hello";
JS : var sample = "hello";

And the list goes on .

Someone once told me our bachelor's thesis would be the most frustrating thing we've ever done. However, its really been wonderful because we can do whatever the fuck we want, meaning:

NO MORE FUCKING INLINE JS
NO MORE FUCING INLINE CSS
NO MORE FUCKING CANCEROUS CSS STYLESHEETS
NO MORE FUCKING PROCEDURAL PHP
NO MORE FUCKING XSLT
NO MORE FUCKING INLINE SQL

Absolutely wonderful.

As a student I got involved in a project written by another student who wasn't working at the company for the time I started. It was a web based application written in plain JS and PHP. His attempt was really terrible and I had to rewrite almost everything. If I sum this up I deleted about 4k lines of code and replaced them with about 2k of my code. My attempt is scalable and it is much easier to build new functions and modules.

Well I program in PHP, JS and C#.
Weak typed variables are literally the worst thing ever.

In C# I particularly hate the way callback as handled

I code in js and in php.

Hello everyone.
So, i am thinking about where to get lists of programming languages, frameworks and softwares that is fundamental. For example:
If i would like to develop a web site. I would use html, css, js & php. Maybe a site or frameworks for reference and 'roadmap'. I want to become a good programmer.

When your boss turn on the auto-update for WordPress and then one day he is complaining about the White Screen Of Death of the website.

Yesterday i was in class and a classmate came at me asking for help, w/e.. I'm not listening this teacher.. let's check.
« show me the code »
She shows me, now I'm blind.

Full garbage! Tons of php function in the same file, mixed oop and procedural and.. all the js is printed via those php function, yup, everywhere you can see <?php print 'some shitty js' ?>

Fuuuuuuckkkkkk you. Not gonna touch it, please tell the guy who wrote it to fuck himself with a frozen vomit stick @not my injure.

Fuck Wordpress, Fuck Wordpress's PHP
I'm so fucking tired of everything in this godforsaken CMS. Import a JS File? Sure, just add a *completely obvious* line into a very specific PHP File, where you'll have to specify a lot of "useful" parameters. No, I somehow DON'T want to specify that I don't wand jQuery in every import. And don't even get me started on Content Delivering. Embed CSS? Sure, just write the fucking whole path to the file, or use the broken get_stylesheet_uri() Function. Embed an Image? Sure, let me just go to the Backend and wait 6 Minutes for this bullshitty System to upload the image and then copy the hard-coded Link. Oh, you want to remove googleapi embeds? Sure, let me just fuck up your whole Website in return.
You want jQuery? Well instead of using the "$" Symbol, you have to use the jQuery() Function. Except when you don't have to, which is 100% random each time you reload the page. Oh, you actually did import a JS File? Sure, let me just not run it. Thank you fucking piece of shit thats calling itself "WordPress" and fuck you and everyone whos actively encouraging its usage

Working on a chat application,

Say hi to your mom for me😊

PHP-in-JS

Biggest annoyance of JS? PHP fanboys that keep ranting about it

Tl;dr: I'm a shitty PHP programmer, but even a shittier JS programmer.

I made a whole image upload system which has an elaborate login/sign up facility, checks the dimensions of an image, it's size, checks if it's broken, compares it to previous uploads to prevent duplicates, take comments, sorts them per user and stores it efficiently in a db and accesses it using PDO, not mySQL, displays it as a gallery, and even lets the users transfer images amongst them.
But I can't make a simple shopping cart in js.

Why? Just, why?

Usual python code problems coming from someone who has been coding in Javascript and PHP (<--no pitchforks please). It's been months already but old habits still keep on coming back
- adding a semi-colon
- mixing spaces with tabs
- using a lowercase boolean
- adding an open brace when declaring a function
- forgetting the colon ( ;'s brother)

Been programming in PHP for years, now this year has been full-on JavaScript. Now had to help a friend with PHP again, I was too afraid to type. Why are there some many swiggely lines?!

Switched from php/laravel dev to frontend JS dev.

Decided to free up diskspace by uninstalling unneeded applications like MAMP, phpstorm and composer.

Feeling a little sad :/

Goodbye old friends since I spent 100 hours mastering you.

I started a new project and only use PHP, HTML, CSS and vanilla JS. No Frameworks. No React. No Vue.

The browser loads the page instantly, there is virtually no loading time and it just works.

Just started a job as a junior asp.net (coming from a somewhat long career as PHP fullstack) 1 week in and i'm doing nothing C# related, tweeking JS frameworks instead

I've got an offer from college development team to make a school website with them.
I've no idea of web dev except HTML, CSS, basic js and PHP.
Should I get in?

Boss: I want a simple form builder.
Me: Ok.
Boss: It must cover all our customers needs. They can build their own form and save their customer submission.
Me: What is their needs?
Boss: Quiz Form, Sales Form, Events Form, Bla bla bla..
Me: Ok, that's not simple so we need to analyze the system first.
Boss: It's similar to wordpress (referring to wp cms) so it must be easy.
Me: But, Wordpress already started before I work here. And..
Boss: I already have a customer and I need it in 1 months!

µRant
Doing a little bit of javascript and php at same time.
Im sleepy.

I am looking for function in JS that is bugged to fix, but accidently opened php file instead.

It took me hot minute of annoyance that I cant find darn function I am looking for.

time for coffee or sleep for once.

oh yes, i'm a print designer and stuying UX / Interaction Design. And on every interview for a digital designer job they expect some kind of messiahs who will save them into the world of digital design. They want that I do print & digital design and slowley replace their outsourced dev team of 40 people. With solid knowledge of Wordpress, Typo3, php and js.

good luck finding somebody who can do that fucktards

Cannot deny it.

Tight deadline, codebase not mine, I wrote an hack that read a dom element in the page in js extract some data, append it to the query string and then refresh the page to get the desired result. All the rest of the logic is in PHP. I still feel guilty.

Every time I read some script kiddy insult here I just think: "you propably did the same thing 10 years ago, not JS but PHP, but it was the same level of shitfuckery and the C/C++ Devs looked the same way at you you look at NodeJS developers now."

Fuck MS Word and every other WYSIWYG editor for text AND especially if said editor is a custom built abomination made of PHP and JS.

Am I the only one not enjoying Firebase realtime/cloud? Supposed to make it easier but eventually more complex than building rest in php/node js......

So I started doing PHP, HTML and CSS a week ago. And I once started a codecademy course in JS.
I can consider myself a full stack web dev now? Right?
(Every "WordPress dev" ever (and me😀))

!$rant

Hmm.. I kinda want to add a terminal type feature to my portfolio project that let's you type commands to navigate the site or change some options. I could still keep the standard navigation elements for the people who get mini heart attacks when they even see a terminal xD

I find it so difficult naming my classes, and Id’s in html and naming my variables in both JS and PHP. They are either too short and vague, or too long and specific. Haha Sometimes I wonder if I should use underscores or camelcase :( hard choices! >.<

When something unexpectedly not working on the website and your boss told you to ask a help from the host company (GoDaddy) to fix the issue in the codes.

Today I discovered first thing I personally prefer in JS over PHP.

let's say you have:
//pseudocode
if(sth){
let ret = 1;
} else {
let ret = 2;
}
if(sth_else){
return ret.toPrecision(2);
}
return ret.toPrecision(8);

In PHP this will work. JS will throw up becouse it managed to separate scopes. Its actually what I would like to be the case with PHP.

In an average day, how many different languages do you use?

For example my previous job was strictly C and Python.

My current job involves Python, C#, VB, PHP, SQL, HTML/CSS, JS. It's rare but quite possibly I could touch all these on a single day.

I started out as a data entry guy. I learned VBA because dealing with thousands of products in excel by hand was a pain in the ass. Among other things, I wrote a macro to combine multiple products into an importable Magento custom product. From there I learned HTML, CSS, JS, and PHP and never looked back.

At my last job I was the only one who knew PHP, SQL, and Bash (for managing the linux server through SSH). I wrote PHP modules for their CMS that they still use today. I was hired as an intern and made $8 an hour.

Hey everybody,

I’m wondering...
Actually I’m a full stack JS / Java and PHP.
But what do you think about Golang ?
Should I learn this language ?

What's your hourly rate?

ARRAY LIKE OBJECTS

Long story short, i am fiddling a bit around with javascripts, a json object a php script created and encountered "array-like" objects. I tried to use .forEach and discovered it doesnt work on those.

Easy easy, there is always Array.from()..just..it doesnt work, well it does work for one subset called ['data'] which contains the actual rows i generate a table from, but for the ['meta'] part of the json object it just returns a length 0 object..me no understanderino

at least something cheered me up when researching, it was an article with the quote: "Finally, the spread operator. It’s a fantastic way to convert Array-like objects into honest-to-God arrays."
I like honest-to-God arrays..or in my case honest to Fortuna..doesnt solve my problem though

took me years to learn js, php, c# and I ended up now learning and debugging STL... This twisted logic is soo painfull

It took my some time to explain my dad, why he should not use Notepad as PHP editor and start use something like Sublime Text 3...

I'm also teaching him PHP and JS.

am i only spring developer here? everyone else I found works on JS,php,python but not on j2ee

My fascination for programming began around 13, when i started developing plugins for my minecraft server in java.
Had an awesome time with creating plugins for some fully custom servers with relatively large playerbases(50-200 players, depended on the time of the day).
This sparked something in me, and i started creating crapp ass "portfolio" sites for myself with php and mysql login and registration forms. After that I got into some basic c# abd had fun with some cute console/form applications.
And here comes today, in the process of picking up more css, php, html, js knowledge, probably heading towards react or vue.
I just love programming to death.

PHP Library for creating D3.js charts and graphs.

Now I know Node.js and PHP as well.
Convince me why I should use Node.Js and other frameworks over PHP and related frameworks.

I need to performance monitor our web app. I have been working on some speed improvments since some of our customers have complained. My boss wants me to be able to produce stats which he can use (and abuse) to highlight to customers that we have got quicker. I am currently looking at blackfire for PHP profiling to help with speeding things up but I need a top site overview for everything. Our stack is PHP (no framework), JS (jquery + vanilla), MySQL on Windows mainly. On premise solutions would be good since we don't traditionally run in the Cloud. Our system isn't SaaS and is installed on dedicated data centre servers or on premise

PHP why do people hate you ? personnaly i like React but i prefer vanilla js 😍
Can anyone tell me why people hate PHP. He is a good guy, i think 😅
exit;

for startup ... php or javascript(node.js)? and reason

I work with JS n php. Always confused with . n +

How to run PHP in a container :
1. Begin a docker file for an existing php cron app (when all you know is php, everything looks like a php app)
2. Set the FROM.. Apt get update .. Do composer install
3. Builds the image
4. Discover I need git
5. Add git to apt get install step
6. Builds the image
7. Launch the php script
8. Fatal : use of undefined constant SOL_UDP
9. Opens the source code of the third party. The there's no mention of where that constant is from.
10. Spend many minutes online to find what's missing.
11. Find the PHP sockets page about that option. Digs into the documentation to find out that's missing from the installed PHP.
12. Find out I need to add a step to install the socket extension in my docker file.
13. Build the image again
14. Execute it, finally it works
15. Remember why I hate php
(for brevity I've omitted the even more complex part of having to set up zlib)

How to install node js in a container image:
FROM node:8
ADD package.json
RUN npm install

So i was considering to start learning laravel but after all the hate php gets, i'd like to ask for your opinions guys.
I recently started working on django for a college project and that made want to learn new stuff, so i'm hesitating between JS (plain Javascript, jquery, node, angular...), laravel, ruby on rails or anything that could help me both on frontend or backend.
Any opinion is welcome and most appreciated

isValid(){
Return true;

//code that doesn’t seem to work right
}

For the past week I've been rewriting an application with just pure php, html, js and css (with a sprinkle of bootstrap), and I gotta say that in this new modern world of frameworks & CMSs, it feels great building a "problem solving" application with nothing but my bare hands!

Aspiring freelance/junior web dev here, I'm familiar with WSGI (using Flask), some PHP, Apache, JSON, and Vanilla JS. What other technologies should I be learning to make myself more marketable?

Web developers, please recommend a tech stack. I have work experience in Laravel, Angular and Node Express. Personal small experience only for Vue and React.

Frontend: Angular, React or Vue?

Backend: Node Adonis JS or PHP Laravel?

CSS framework: Angular Material(angular), Material-UI, Tailwind CSS or Bootstrap?

This is for a personal project API based. What frontend backend tech stack are you using right now? Thanks!

For fuck sake, stop complaining about the number of js libs. There is just as many if not more c/c++/c#/java/python/ruby/php... libs.

Just because they are available on npm or github, it doesn't mean you have to fucking see/read/use it

i had to write some js and css / html for a small project that i work on Django.

GODDAMIT I FUCKIN HATE IT MY HEAD HURTS WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
FUCK IT

LEAVE ME ALONE WITH MY GOD LOVELY PYTHON
OR ANY BACKEND LAGNUAGE(except php of course)

jesus christ i almost threw the goddamn pc out of the window.

fuck front end.

I remember studying up on web dev by myself, got advanced into php and all frontend stuff js, jquery, css, html. Coz all jobs in the country wanted those exact stuff. I got a job, 1.5 years later tried to look for other jobs, everyone wanted react, angular, vue, node... fucking market outdates u as u are working. Dont u hate that

I sometimes get issues while testing my project,
Like even though js function is declared, the console shows error that its not declared and some other such errors.

I use Chrome on windows while testing.

But when I use Firefox on ubuntu,these errors vanish!

Is this issue with chrome or windows ?

There are lots of Angular and React jobs here in my area. Very few Vue jobs here (like 1 to 5 maximum job posts I have seen). I'm a PHP dev and it seems most companies are shifting to full stack JS development (MERN, MEAN, NodeJS + Express JS, etc.) along with some mobile development (ionic, cordova, etc)

I have no choice but to study both Angular and React. Supply and demand.

But between Angular and React, I prefer Angular.

Me: Spends 4 hours configuring my new IDE
Me: Hovers Apply for the last apply
IDE: Crashes
Ne: Reopen IDE, not worried as I applied and saved multiple times during setup
IDE,: Totally zero'ed EVERY SINGLE SETTING...

Me: Googles alternatives to X

If you're not proud of the product you're making. Leave it right away.
- Prateek Saini

React, it's declarative way of doing things, and the functional programming methodology it prefers.

Realized how much I've moved on from for-loops and class/object instance to maps, filters and immutability/observers when I worked on a Laravel project after so long and found myself forced to do things in the, erm, "PHP" way, despite spending my initial year and a half of programming working exclusively in PHP.

Sure, there's Class Components and imperative techniques in React but I had blissfully settled into using the flexible nature of doing things enabled by both native JS and React, with hooks, Lodash/Ramda and (almost fanatically) pure functions

Just had my first lesson of the course Web Development. We got an explanation of what html, css, js and php are. Nothing bad ever happened from repeating what you already know, so yeah..

But then came the horror: We need to make a website in FUCKING WORDPRESS!! I ALREADY KNOW HOW TO BUILD A FUCKING WEBSITE WITHOUT A FUCKING SHIT CMS!!

So I showed the teacher my personal website and asked if I could use and/or extend that. They loved it, but I still need to build a website using fucking wordpress!! Not even using php! No, we need to build it with the UI of wordpress.

I know that's not even hard. It's just.. WORDPRESS!!

I guess I'll just have to live with it :/

!rant
I got to work on this project written in PHP that is literally unsalvageable so I will need to redo it from scratch, it's an e-commerce/social network mix that allows you to resell your clothes and I will have to work with PHP-only server-side so I was looking for a JS framework that has all these cool features like Angular but does not require node.js and I stumbled upon React and Vue and I can't decide between them. I was wondering if anyone knows both of these frameworks and could help me decide which one to use. (I have almost no knowledge about these frameworks)

PS: The server-side will be PHP with MySQL because that's the only option that the client's hosting offers.

Soon I’ll be unemployed (on purpose) and will spend some time on my own project ideas.
Pretty much each of them will require an API..

Already started with the first one using python + flask, but I’m planning to do each of them in a different language..

What do you propose? What’s the most fun and the most interesting technology in your opinion?

I’m senior in Java and advanced in JS, / Node so it won’t be any of those and I’m also not a fan of PHP :)

Just because I didn't get the logic of your labyrinth testing script doesn't mean I'm a bad programmer! Why the fuck do you choose which programmers to get with a Shit labyrinth JS script. I got all the programming right and now I probably won't get the job because of this.
Oh yeah and I did apply for a php job btw.

Context: Can't set headers after printing from a pipe. So...

That feeling we get when we have to work on someone else code which is un-documented and un-structured. The worst part of all these that coder as left the company without a KT

FUCK JAVASCRIPT!!! I JUST DECIDED TO LEARN DAMN EXPRESS AND NODEJS THEN I HAVE ISSUES WITH ROUTING ISSUES WITH VIEW ENGINES !!! ARGH!!! ITS SO SICKENING I HAVE TO REQUIRE() SHIT AND SHIT WTF??? JS?? WTF JS?? 50 LINES OF CODE FOR JUST A VIEW THAT SAYS "HELLO WORD" AHH FUCK IT, ***FALLS BACK TO PHP** BYE.

When I write ugly code CTO destroy my keyboard like candy.

I literally won't ever understand:
Everyone hates JavaScript and despises using it.
Everyone also hates PHP.
So to get rid of PHP smh we decided to use js in the backend, too? And that shit is working and a lot of people enjoy this? Everything is fucked up

I live in Sweden and want some new dev stickers. Checked redbubble.com but I'm not willing to pay $25 for 12 small stickers. Even with free shipping. Anyone know a cheaper alternative?

I need

-ES6
-JS
-HTML5
-CSS3
-ReactJS
-Angular JS
-git
-PHP
-VSCode
-Photoshop
-Node.js
-npm

Guys, which code editor is better for PHP/JS/HTML/CSS? I mean, with more addons, code completion, and so on..
Atom? Sublime? Brackets? VS Code?

Thanks!

hey devs, i'm a web dev, i'm honestly tired with php, js, html, css, looking for some cool recommendations to learn n enhance skills

Im a new self taught programmer and i need some advice on where i should go next to become a web developer.
I already know python and c#.
I learned html, css, js, php, sql.

What else can i learn?

Hey rant. I want to learn new programming language. Now im working with php and js. Any suggestion for new language??

Actually a WordPress developer does both backend and frontend. They should know JS, PHP, react (for Gutenberg) and still some others think they are not programmers.
Next time someone tries to bully me about being a WordPress developer, I will not be quite. Even my friends.

Any suggestions to work on coding (php/sql atm) during downtime while at work? I've been learning css and js (front/back) for a year while unemployed. Just got IT call centre job in highly monitored corporate environment. Have potential side programming job but need more practice.

When we have Python,Ruby,Elixir,Scala,Clojure,Js
why we should use PHP LARAVEL ?
i cant understand persons which use php & laravel
why u use php or laravel ? how its possible to use php-laravel instead of cool things like Django -ROR ? Are u crazy ?

I guess you can say the same bad things about (node) js you can about php.

It's not my intention to start a web technology war so be nice do not do that 😁

Short Info: I'm "desktop programmer" (if that word exists) in either C # or Java 😎

question: I would like to create my own website, just simple to start with and maybe expand it later with eg. Arduino temperature meter
I have a look at 2 programming languages ​​that I can build it in, Js or PHP. I just do not know which one to choose, I'm probably the most to Js, but what are the pros and cons of these 2 and / or is there a completely different programming language I have to take a look at?

Working as a junior dev with Js, moment.js, php and MySQL dates and trying make them respect (not love) each other and talk to each other nicely...

OH GOD WHY AM I DOING THIS MYSELF, JUST DIE IN MY SLEEP ALREADY, MY MOTHER TOLD ME I SHOULD BE A DOCTOR

Any recommendations for a first timer of functional programming? Not sure what languages are used the most or have the most community support. For whatever it's worth, I've enjoyed working with C# and Golang, and disliked working with JS and PHP.

So I started learning Java and there are lots of boilerplate code. To use some Date functions there is a requirement to import it first before you can use it lol. In PHP and JS no need to import anything so less code.

I started in Lua in a program called AMS (it made autorun programs but has full scripting support making it pretty powerful) making little software applications.

That evolved into PHP and shortly after JS, HTML and CSS.

After a while i added other languages and it continues to grow today.

The UI aspect has just been something i have always had an eye for.

Should I learn Angular 2 or Vue 2?

Not asking which one is better, but which one suits my need better:

I want to move from PHP to nodejs frameworks; I know Vue cause it's famous in the Laravel community, but don't know about the node/js community. I heard Angular 2 is hard, but I'm changing my dev stack so might as invest some time in it. So which one should I pick?

Also, what's a good nodejs framework for starters (who aim to build production-ready apps) (also, not planning on doing mobile apps so no need for cross platform js frameworks).

Thanks in advance

Recommended PHP ORM?
Had a couple bad experiences with Sequelize (I know it's JS, save it). Also, I'd like to try the decorators pattern. I'm also looking for good (and I mean GOOD) relationships management (you are allowed ONE pun about it).
Anyone? :((

well well well.
i seem to like javascript syntax more than php.
there, i said it.

it´s not a post about php being bad. in fact i did and do nice things with it. but in the last few months i learned a lot about javascript and now the time has come i get a grasp on opinions of php being inconsistent. and a growing feeling of love for objects. maybe i just have not reached the dark pits of strange js-comparisons like similar objects not being equal. but still...
no, php, i will not abandon you. but sometimes we have to talk about our feelings.