A few days ago while browsing devRant, my girlfriend stopped me at this one post and asked why does this person have a rubber duck. I went on to explain her about Rubber Duck Debugging. She was totally amazed by the concept (she's not a techie). Today suddenly a package arrived at my door step from her.

Well now I have an entire family of rubber ducks to code with :D

I just remembered the first time I set up a Linux-Server. It was a simple Apache webserver at my first internship anf I didnt have a clue about literally anything.

My mentor guided me through and gave me literal step-by-step instructions (alright, now type... and now type...).

At the end he told me "OK, now run 'sudo rm -rf /*' to finish setting up". Me, being the naive and clueless motherfucker I am, happily nuked the everloving shit out of my newly setup server. I was like "Alright, WTF just happened??" He then told me "Now that you know how it works, do the entire thing again all by yourself. And you just learned an important lesson: NEVER exexute commands you dont know what theyre doing". I really did learn a lot on that day and still follow that lesson :D

How everyone uses stackoverflow:
1. Work on some project
2. Spot a bug
3. Try to solve the bug and fail.
4. Write a question for SO.
5. Post question on SO.
6. Get the answer and some points.

How I use stackoverflow:
1. Work on some project
2. Find a bug
3. Try to fix the bug and fail
4. Write a question on SO
5. Get scared that I might be downvoted.
6. Spend 45 minutes optimizing the structure of the question.
7. Try additional tests to cover all possible scenarios.
8. Still scared to click post.
9. Scrap everything and restart line by line writing further details of each step in your question.
10. Find the bug myself.
11. Click cancel on the question that took me 3+ hours to write.
12. Cry.

So my friend has two-step authentication for his smartphone.

Now he is not able to find his phone.

So, he tried to find his phone by logging into his google account via Android Device Manager.

Now, it is asking for the authentication pin which is in his phone.😂

He just got deadlocked.

Was irritated and annoyed because of a client.

Someone called the support line and I was ready for some temper-holding practice.

A very sweet lady was at the other side and she couldn't figure something out and was overwhelmed by all the options she had in her new hosting package.

Very calmly helped her and guided her to the right place, step by step. She did exactly what I said instead of playing a smartass.

She finally found it and said that she appreciated it and a ton of thanks 😊.

Now that's a good way to end a work day!

The website i made has been hacked today.

Stored in their server.

They didnt give me an access for it.

The user account in the cms i used for updating content while building the website was revoked when the website is completed.

Now they ask me for the latest backup.

I have no backup because how the hell i do a backup when i got no access to the cpanel.

The only backup is the zip file for initial uploading into their server and the contents were added after the website is on their server.

That goddamn IT guy who wont give me any access for “securty sake” is calling me furiously asking for the backup and how to set up the stuffs from the beginning.

I thought he was the one who know his shit but i was wrong.

Fuck me?

No.

Fuck you.

But i still responding to him telling him step by step how to do shit with some swearing and sarcasm.

ALWAYS BACKUP YOUR SHITS, MATE

We build a backup infrastructure at work to make sure that clients can restore their files and databases themselves when something gets fucked up.

We also have step by step tutorial on how to do this.

Every fucking day we get requests to restore backups.

Mostly used reason is "I'm a technical so I won't understand it".
With all due respect, if you don't understand this and keep asking without even trying, please don't host with us.
Because, if you did as I asked and actually read through the entire article, you would.
In case you're wondering, anytime one of us asks what part they don't understand, that question is simply ignored and they pushing for us restoring it anyways continues.

Sometimes they get angry and want to talk to someone higher up or start complaining that they're paying loads of money already and that it would just take us a second anyways.

If you would read the fucking tutorial/manual instead of trying to eat out your mother's badly shaved pussy and hopefully choke on it while you're at it, you wouldn't come asking us for it.
If you genuinely don't understand this article, feel free to ask but also provide us with cocksucking feedback.

Why do you think you have the right anyways to ask us to do it for free? We maintain the backup infrastructure which definitely isn't cheap but we do it so that you, pubic sniffing weazel, can do this shit on your fucking own.

You're entitled to ask us for help but not for asking us to restore your bullshit for free every freaking time.

Tip: give your parents some condoms. Because that way they hopefully won't reproduce again, we don't need more of you in this universe.

That moment when you finished your first REST API 🎉

And you realise all it can do is useless ☹️

But then you realise, you can extend the functions easily with you new knowledge 🎊

Man, this emotional up an down is exhausting 😆

Step by step pathway to enlightenment.

Got annoyed by hitting f11 instead of f12.
("step into" versus "go to definition").
Solved the problem :)

There once was a bright young engineer who was hired by a company to design their new light ship.
Like 50 seconds after getting inside the company, the engineer was approached by a douchebag in a business suite.
"Hey, can you make us a mock up of the ship's design in the next hour or so? Nothing fancy, it must be very simple! To not overcomplicate it! Just a simple mock up so we can all see what are we talking about in this project! Please do not overthink this!"
The engineer, young and naive, just folded some piece of paper and gave the douchebag a paper boat.
"Fantastic! That's all we need for the presentation for the investors!"
A couple hours later the suite was back screaming.
"YOUR FUCKING FARSE! YOUR SHITTY SHIP EMBARRASED US ALL! THE VERY MOMENT OUR CEO TRIED TO STEP ON IT IT SANK! YOU ARE FIRED AND WE WILL SUE YOU FOR INCOMPETENCE! I ASKED YOU SOMETHING SIMPLE AND YOU CAME UP WITH THIS OVER ENGINEERED PIECE OF CRAP, YOU SON OF A.. [many, maaany expletives suppressed for brevity sake]"

This is how I feel everytime someone asks for "a tiny change" or some "very simple solution".
If it was so simple that it could be done in such short notice, than why the fuck do it at all, instead of buying it? I heard people sell all sorts of things in the internet nowadays. Software fucking included.

Step 0: Feel incompetent with coding skills
Step 1: Try to practice by writing programs or learning new software, etc...
Step 2: Lose motivation and watch Netflix
Step 3: repeat

The best I have seen and exploited was years ago with a web shop that allowed me to set my own check-out price by just inspecting the element and setting the desired price. It just happily advanced to the next step where they invoked the payment provider with my custom price. Unfortunately the shop doesn't exist anymore. I have encountered many more security leaks but this one was so easy and lucrative to exploit.

Guys, my unfortunately daily rant of my pm

I was told to create a docker env for our team. Good. Document the process so everyone can know what to do. Good.

My PM follows what he wants to instead of step by step and changes whatever he wants to.

I am asked for help because he doesnt know. No prob.

Me: "Do this, do this and.."
PM: "that doesnt matter, trust me, I could change it and.."
Me: "...and it wont work"
PM: "I know suff too, check" *does his changes aaaaaand doesnt work*
* awkward staring*

That happened a while ago.
This week, he crashed his git repo because he was doing things in docker team (including him) decided not to.

Took me more enough time explaining him "you are not supposed to do that in the container" funny fact he wanted to prove that his way was right and even if he did my way it would crash.

Sooooo he did my way just to prove how wrong I was. Everything worked flawlessly. Rage-still-awkward staring.

Plus the "aww that's weird. I dont know how this happened"

I'm trying to sign up for insurance benefits at work.

Step 1: Trying to find the website link -- it's non-existent. I don't know where I found it, but I saved it in keepassxc so I wouldn't have to search again. Time wasted: 30 minutes.

Step 2: Trying to log in. Ostensibly, this uses my work account. It does not. Time wasted: 10 minutes.

Step 3: Creating an account. Username and Password requirements are stupid, and the page doesn't show all of them. The username must be /[A-Za-z0-9]{8,60}/. The maximum password length is VARCHAR(20), and must include upper/lower case, number, special symbol, etc. and cannot include "password", repeated charcters, your username, etc. There is also a (required!) hint with /[A-Za-z0-9 ]{8,60}/ validation. Want to type a sentence? better not use any punctuation!

I find it hilarious that both my username and password hint can be three times longer than my actual password -- and can contain the password. Such brilliant security.

My typical username is less than 8 characters. All of my typical password formats are >25 characters. Trying to figure out memorable credentials and figuring out the hidden complexity/validation requirements for all of these and the hint... Time wasted: 30 minutes.

Step 4: Post-login. The website, post-login, does not work in firefox. I assumed it was one of my many ad/tracker/header/etc. blockers, and systematically disabled every one of them. After enabling ad and tracker networks, more and more of the site loaded, but it always failed. After disabling bloody everything, the site still refused to work. Why? It was fetching deeply-nested markup, plus styling and javascript, encoded in xml, via api. And that xml wasn't valid xml (missing root element). The failure wasn't due to blocking a vitally-important ad or tracker (as apparently they're all vital and the site chain-loads them off one another before loading content), it's due to shoddy development and lack of testing. Matches the rest of the site perfectly. Anyway, I eventually managed to get the site to load in Safari, of all browsers, on a different computer. Time wasted: 40 minutes.

Step 5: Contact info. After getting the site to work, I clicked the [Enroll] button. "Please allow about 10 minutes to enroll," it says. I'm up to an hour and 50 minutes by now. The first thing it asks for is contact info, such as email, phone, address, etc. It gives me a warning next to phone, saying I'm not set up for notifications yet. I think that's great. I select "change" next to the email, and try to give it my work email. There are two "preferred" radio buttons, one next to "Work email," one next to "Personal email" -- but there is only one textbox. Fine, I select the "Work" preferred button, sign up for a faux-personal tutanota email for work, and type it in. The site complains that I selected "Work" but only entered a personal email. Seriously serious. Out of curiosity, I select the "change" next to the phone number, and see that it gives me four options (home, work, cell, personal?), but only one set of inputs -- next to personal. Yep. That's amazing. Time spent: 10 minutes.

Step 6: Ranting. I started going through the benefits, realized it would take an hour+ to add dependents, research the various options, pick which benefits I want, etc. I'm already up to two hours by now, so instead I decided to stop and rant about how ridiculous this entire thing is. While typing this up, the site (unsurprisingly) automatically logged me out. Fine, I'll just log in again... and get an error saying my credentials are invalid. Okay... I very carefully type them in again. error: invalid credentials. sajfkasdjf.

Step 7 is going to be: Try to figure out how to log in again. Ugh.

"Please allow about 10 minutes" it said. Where's that facepalm emoji?

But like, seriously. How does someone even build a website THIS bad?

Once upon a time while browsing his Instagram, a young and inexperienced boy found a magic realm called devRant.

He decided to hop on the cyberweb of interconected computers, aka. the Internet and found the gate to the magic realm.

Timidly he took a step forward and found himself surrounded by strange structures called Rants and Stories.
No knowing what to do, he now roams in this new and strange realm looking for some guidence and perhaps even friendship.

Dev manager: Can you fix this issue?

Me: Yeah, but i cant reproduce it using the explanation given in the ticket. Can i get a step by step guide and a confirmation that the issue is reproducible.

Dev manager: you're the lead dev, you figure it out.

askdjasfkjksadjkasd!!
Do you want me to spend an hour not developing things trying to guess? because that is how you make me spend an hour not developing things

Follow sdk documentation step by step: app won't compile. 🌚

Scariest Web Page i Made:

So i was outside the hotel where my friend works, as he went away to submit work related papers and i sat in the car.

The car was parked in the middle of two others. To pass time i started working on my Web Page..
To me it was just a simple html,css,js source code..(wasn't even client side)...

To the other non-programmer hotel staff (Prying) eyes it was:

A shady guy, dressed in black in a car parked outside the server room. To top that off i had Dark theme on my editor.

So now two staff members are staring at me from outside the car...

I was well aware of what message this whole setup might be sending.

So i got a little anxious and did one thing that i should not have done i.e started looking at them with coy eyes as i typed.

Next minute i was being asked to step outside the car.
I was scared,not by the situation ... i was scared of their ignorance and how would i explain what those many colored lines on a black screen meant.

However it was solved..... but i knew this was the scariest page i ever made.

I decided to setup a little server on my local network just to make use of a 2TB harddrive I use to store videos.

Told everyone in the house I planned to grow the library over time and that they could access it all in a browser using my system name. It's become quite a fun venture and my video library is shaping up nicely.

Using nginx on a Dell XPS 17 with Ubuntu 16.04 to host a server that just auto indexes a shared directory on my external 2TB harddrive. Kind of an embarrassing rig, but it's just a hobby activity and I do plan to upgrade shit later.

The real fun has been getting to understand a bit more about video files. They used to be magic to me, as complex as their file extension. Now I run a script on all of my torrents which checks the video and audio codecs, converting them if they aren't supported by Chrome's and Firefox's web players, and outputting mp4s using ffmpeg. I feel like I have this stuff down fairly well now. Becoming more and more automated.

Next step is to port forward so I can access it from anywhere, but we'll see about that later down the line.

My boss in our northern office literally told my colleague that he'd been refreshing the site several times every few minutes and could clearly see that we hadn't done shit.

Keep in mind that we are heavily cached with Varnish and Drupal Cache on our server, and this guy is never at the office. He was seeing our website from 3 days ago because his browser was retrieving local cache from the last time he was actually there and it was during a time where we had some broken items on the site.

The part that pisses me off most is that not only did he not know to purge his browser cache to see changes, but he thought my coworker was making up hocus-pocus technobabble to "cover for me" by telling him how to clear his cache.

This guy installed AirMail, 8 times on his Mac because he was entering SMTP settings that were literally given to him in screenshots with every step illustrated and every field of configuration available for reference, incorrectly. So yeah I can see how he would be technically capable of micro managing me. Fuck.

Hello again, everyone. As Sunday comes to a close, and Monday is fast approaching, I'll share with you the likely cause of my death by stroke and/or heart attack:
MONDAY MORNING COFFEE OF HORROR
Disclaimer: Do NOT try this. I am a professional addict. I am not responsible for anything this brew from hell causes to you and/or those around you.
So, I wake up, feeling like I haven't slept for days, or just notice the fucking alarm clock shrieking because I pulled an all-nighter.
Step 1: Silence alarm clock via mild violence.
Step 2: Get the coffee machine to brew some filter coffee (espresso works too)
Step 3: Get milk and ice cubes from the fridge (both are needed, I don't care if you don't like milk, trust me)
Step 4: Get 2 spoonfuls (not tea spoon, and actually FULL spoonfuls) into the biggest glass you have
Step 5: Pour just a little of the warm filter coffee into the glass, just to get the instant coffee wet enough, and start mixing, until the result looks like the horror you unleashed in your toilet a few minutes ago (and will do so again in a few)
Step 6: Mix in 25-50 ml milk, just for the aesthetic change of colour of the devil-brew, and to add the necessary amount of lactic acid to react with the coffee to produce chemical X
Step 7: Add ice cubes to taste (if you are new to this, add a lot)
Step 8. Slowly add the filter coffee while mixing furiously, so that the light brown paste at the bottom get dissolved (it's harder than it sounds)
Now, take a deep breath. Before you is a disgusting brew undergoing a chemical reaction, and your moves need to be precise otherwise it will explode. Note that sugar or any other form of sweetener is FORBIDDEN, as it will block the reaction chain and the result won't be as potent.
Take a straw (a big one, not those needle-like ones that some cafeterias give to fool you into believing that the coffee is more than 150ml). Put it inside the mix, and check that the route to the bathroom is free of obstacles.
Now, clench your abs, close your nose if you are new to this, grab the straw and DRINK!
DRINK LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW!
THAT BROWN DEVIL'S BILE WILL HAVE YOUR INTESTINES SPASM AND DANCE THE MACARENA WHILE TWIRLING A HULA HOOP!
YOUR HEART WILL GO OVERDRIVE HARDER THAN YOUR PC'S CPU WHEN COMPILING ON ECLIPSE AND BROWSING WITH IE AT THE SAME TIME.
The combination of caffeine and lactic acid will bring out the perfectly disgusting combination of sour and bitter usually expected in rotting lemons. After you manage to chug it down (DON'T SPILL OR SPIT ANY!) you have 30 - 60 seconds max to run to the porcelain throne, where you will spend the next 30-60 minutes.
After that, nothing can stop you! You will fix bugs, write entire codebases from scratch, punch that annoying coworker, punch that boss! You will be a demigod among mortals for the next 6-8 hours!
Your recipes for Monday morning coffee?

Boy do I hate office politics...

A client asked our company to fix perf issues on their product. Our coleagues had been picked for the job [being led by another 3rd-party, as per client's request]. Aaand they dropped the ball. The deadline is in 2 weeks, nothing is working.

Mgmt engaged us to put out the fire, but strictly at the scope the other guys were working in.

On the first day of testing we've revealed an elephant-sized perf issue that's as easy to fix as brainlessly changing 4 values in config. And that elephant is masking all the other perf issues.

We got a firm NO for config changes as that is out of the defined scope. And we're asked to continue testing.

I mean, the elephant is THAT huge that any further testing is moot - all other bottlenecks are hidden behind it. And just changing those 4 values would reduce the resources required by a magnitude of ~10.

But that's out of scope...

Client is desperate, lost and honestly asking us, pros in the field, for help.. We know how to help.. It takes 10 seconds to apply the fix..

But our mgmt forbids us to step out of the scope :/

as a result we have to pretend to be dummies hardly knowing what to do and hide the truth from the customer they so desperately want.

This is frustrating. And wrong. And imo unprofessional

It all began yesterday in my math lesson.My teacher introduced us into a new subject: The Heron method.
This is a method for iteratively computing the square root of a number which was made up by Hero of Alexandria.
But here's the cool part:
When my teacher said "method" I had the thought that I could make a programm on my TI-82 Stats (my calculator).
So I used the next break to make a little programm that does exactly the same what my mates has to do in several steps, in just one step.
Here is a picture so I can explain the programm:

First it asks for the root that it should calculate then for a value to begin with and finally for the amount of arithmetic operations.
Then it goes trough the algorithm and displays the interim results (this is important for later ...) .
So back in story.It wasn't surprising that we got exercises with this method as homework but through my programm I just needed 5 minutes instead of 20 minutes (like my class mates).

I don't mind if you down vote my answers on stack-overflow. But unless you leave a better answer or a comment explaining why, you are a fucking troll and an asshole.

I MEAN, YOU SHOULD TAKE A BIG STEP BACK AND LITERALLY FUCK YOUR OWN FACE!!!!

You aren't helping me or others learn from our mistakes by showing us the better way.

A lot of Project managers are idiots.
Here is what happened: I am a backend developer and was asked to replace some images on some website (not even sure this is supposed to be a backend task). So i did, changes went through review and then they were live.
A few hours later they come to me saying i made a mistake because the image has wrong color tone in one of the browsers (internally facepalming myself)... I didn't design the images nor made any changes to them... I just fucking uploaded the files that were sent to me... That's fucking it.
They blamed me for a design issue and how I should've noticed this issue blah blah blah... And i had to spend an entire fucking hour to explain to them step by step what i did, how i did it and why the color tone was wrong even though i am not a designer and my main tool is VISUAL FUCKING STUDIO AND NOT PHOTOSHOP.

The shit part is that the images were sent to us by the client, so really, it is their fucking fault not mine.
Oh, and they tried to guilt me by saying the client won't pay for this since the images are wrong.

Lost an hour to this bullshit.

!rant

Let's take a moment to appreciate interested and enthousiastic non-developers who really want to learn a programming language.

I am studying Medical IT at my college and most of my classmates aren't coming from an IT background.
We're currently working with Java, PHP, JavaScript and some require Node for their semester projects.

Some of my classmates approach me when they're stuck while coding and I try to teach them as much as possible so they understand what they are doing wrong and how to fix it.
I also show them how they can optimise their code step by step and they love it!

As a classmate told me yesterday:
"It's always so much fun working with you. I come up with a small problem, but I end up learning so much more about programming when solving a problem with you. I appreciate that."

It's a mindset I've learned when I was doing my developer apprenticeship back in the day. One of my colleagues told me: "if they want your help because they need a quick fix, tell them to kiss your ass. If you know they've already tried everything they could and ask you specifically because they want to understand what they are doing wrong, they are future developers with great potential, so go teach them."

May the force be with you, my enthousiastic little non-devs ❤️

Dev: This could be sooooo easily optimized...

Me: Uhm. Don't think so. What's your idea?

Dev: Just use threads.

Me: Nope. Problem requires 3 shared resources per process step, it won't be faster by threading. Shared resource will only lead to locking contention, decreasing performance.

Dev: I don't think that will happen. Can you PROOF to ME that this will happen?

Me: It was your suggestion, so you should proof me wrong. Nice try, but no thanks.

Dev: Yeah, but it's too slow and it should run faster.

Me: If you cannot find a better approach than the current one, it runs as fast as it can while providing correct results. That's not slow. That's just working as intended and designed.

Dev: Yeah, but it's still slow.

....

You know these conversations where you just wanna rip some people's face off, stick it in the shit hole they use to talk and toss them out of the window....

Yeah. Had those conversations today.

My special talent in life is fucking up a tutorial that I follow step by step.

When I was in school I had some guys walk up to me and asked:

G: Are you Feeno?
Me: Yes, what's up?
G: We need our FY project on school management system done.
Me: Okay?
G: How much will that cost us?
Me: *confused because I was still a freshman. At that point the only programming language I knew was elementary qbasic. I couldn't even write a hello world program without the help of Google*
So played along because yes we're talking about money here.

Me: It will cost you guys N amount of money (*improvised deep voice*).
G: Okay. Fair price.
* Right there they transferred half the requested amount to me. *
Holy moly! This guys aren't joking around. I don't know shit! They clearly mistook me for a senior student whose first name is Feeno, to me that was a nick referred to me by my friends.

I'm in this one for sure and it's a do or die transaction cus I'm returning no fucking money. I told my friends what had happened and they insisted I return back the money to the students and admit I can't deliver the project they were requesting.
Fuck all of yah! I'm keeping this money. Same afternoon I visited the school library with the intension of writing the code using the help of YouTube tutorials. I didn't find anything useful for qbasic as I thought I could write a full fledged school management system using qbasic.

I was lucky enough to find an existing source code on Codeproject, God bless that Indian guy. The source was in PHP and the tutor gave a step by step guide to setup XAMP and MySQL. I really don't know PHP but I guess source code modification is a natural skill to all programmers as I was able to modify the code to meet the requirements of the students (i.e school name, logo and other minor changes).

Most of what I learnt in programming came from modifying the source of that project. I learnt how to connect a PHP source to a MySQL database, I learnt about functions and their usage, I learnt the basics of HTML, I really learnt a lot and I would say that the speed at which I learnt was proportional to the amount of pressure I received to deliver.

That was how my journey as a full stack developer started. By chance maybe.

A new linear time O(N) sorting algorithm [Keep it secret 🔒]

* Compare two adjacent elements one by one starting from the first element
* If there are out of order, delete the second element and continue with step 1
* If in order, go to the next two elements
* Once done, act like the numbers you deleted never existed

Works all the time.
Not yet published. Thinking of a good name for it.

Teaching new recruit some SQL (even though hes supposed to fucking know SQL and have multiple years experience but I was a contractor and idgaf, not messing up my money. Just fucking annoying to have an idiot around you all the time).

Me: Okay, so sys tables, so this one is for jobs yeah?

Him: Yeah

Me: Okay, so in this table, its obviously not one row per job per step cos you have multiple rows for the same job and step. Also, there is a datetime field, so what is it showing?

Him: Hmmmmm..... (after some time, back and forth we get to the answer).... history table

Me: Cooooooool, okay, so, lets say, I have a job with 5 steps. If i run it once, how many rows will be in this table?

Him: 5 rows.

Me: Correct, so if I were to have run this same job, 10 times, how many rows get inserted into the table?

Him: (Now...you have to understand, how long this thought process was, im trying to fill the gap with words but really, he was like, having a flashback or something...I kept quiet but silently wanting him to say anything....then he looks me dead in the eyes).... 10!

Me: Motherfucker what!?!? 10 What? If 1 time == 5, what does 10 times ==?

Him: Hmmmmmmmmm.... (yes...we are doing this whole flashback montage all over again)....... Ohhhhh, 1!

Me: .....Stop, think, its a history table. It holds history, for when every step is run for a job, why would it be only one row?

Him: OMG, I know what a history table is!!!!

Me: (Pissed off cos I don't take disrespect calmly). Fine, genius, answer, go!

Him: (LONGER WAIT THAN LAST TIME!!!!)....is it not 10?

Me: I swear, I'm gonna kill you one of these days.

Him: *chuckle*

Me: No...seriously....

TOOK 20-30 MINUTES FOR HIM TO SAY 50!!!!!!

And even then, I swear he didn't understand why. Serious, he was a special breed, had a manager that was a super tard and when I worked here, the spirit of that manager possessed this idiot, the CIO and his little right hand bitch zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

If there was ever a time I was willing to catch a case at work, it was there.

Bonus: Serious, it got to the point I had to come in and tell this idiot that he can only ask me questions today if he calls me by my name...and my name has changed today...and no, you can't ask me for it cos you need my name to ask me questions.....FUCK OFF kkthxbai.

I SENT YOU THE EXACT SIGNUP URL ON NETLIFY

I TOLD YOU STEP BY STEP WHAT WOULD HAPPEN, AND HOW I CAN TRANSFER THE SITE TO YOU

AND NOW YOU COME TO ME COMPLAINING YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND??!?!?!?!

fucking toxic clients I swear, never again

this is what I get for doing something for free for an acquaintances friend

if you can't handle ownership of your own website, maybe get the hell out of the internet

🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡🎪🤡

Manager: I want the front ends to be more dumb, too much logic is happening on the frontend.

Me: both of the sites are just multi step forms, I’m confused about the complexity part.

Manager: yea but don’t we have a bunch of third party api calls?

Me: we have 4 and they are public facing apis.

Manager: yea, make a new api and move this api calls to the backend and I want both frontend teams to send the same shape payload.

Me: but…

Manager: oh and I don’t like how the business team does the a/b testing and splitting traffic, let’s move that to the backend as well.

Me: but… that a/b testing platform they use in ran by another team and they have a full set of features for business analytics…

Manager: yea let’s just replicate those features and move them to the backend.

Me: but it’s a product!

Manager: look! You are the best backend engineer we got! I know you can do this!

Me: I lead the frontend teams…

Manager: ….

Manger: good news we are giving you a promotion with raise you are now a senior engineer.

Me: I confused but happy… I think..

For fucks sake if I send you a clearly described 5 step install instructions do not start on step 3! Yes you fucking moron instructions labeled 1,2,3,4,5 should be carried out one after the other! Not in random order.

Seriously, how deranged are you that you have never ever encountered a step-by-step instruction before?!

Don't give me that "oh, should I have started with step 1 first? You weren't very clear about that. I think it is a bit too complicated."

Here are some more instructions:
1. Close your PC
2. Donate it to someone with detectable IQ level
3. Go fuck yourself
4. Please die
5. Yes, start with step 1

When I learnt programming, sugar was still made out of salt and hence not used in coffee.

Also, we didn't have source level debuggers, only the "print" method. However, compiling was also slow. It was faster and more convenient to go through the program and execute the statements in one's head. This helped understanding what code is doing just by reading it. It also kept people from trial and error programming, something that some people fall for when they resort to single step debugging in order to understand what their own code is even doing.

Compiling was slow because computers in general were slow, like single digit MHz. That enforced programming efficient code. It's also why we learnt about big Oh notation already at school. Starting with manual resource management helped to get a feeling for what's going on under the hood.

Guys, please help me answer this intellectual being. The more stupid the answer, the better. Even better is if there is like a fake loooooonnnngggg step by step guide of it. NB: tafadhali == please.

Two new coworkers step in. HR hasn't set up their accounts yet. We create all necessary tickets and wait. A week has now gone by. New guys are just sitting there reading documentation. Call HR

- We are currently processing the request.
- But what is taking so long?
- The request needs to be approved in 4 steps by people on higher and higher levels.
- What level is it currently on?
- Two

*Rage quit*

So this is a rant about my country and especially my city: Berlin (Germany).
Germany is like a third world country when it comes to IT infrastructure. We have one of the slowest internet speeds in the whole EU. People are still afraid to pay with their card or phone. My people love their coins. While most of the other countries see the importance of the new technologies we still use mainly copper wire for internet. So why am I especially mad about Berlin? Google was planning to bring an innovation campus to our city. They wanted to establish a place for startups and technology. But the people from Berlin demonstrated against it extremely. They didn't want to have a company like Google in their city. I also am not a big fan of Google, but this would be such an important step to a better future for Germany. In a few years Germany will have a huge problem because we are so far behind the other countries. And it is so sad to see that seemingly no one cares about this.

This rant was brought to you by the worst internet in the whole EU

How Google loost its data Monopoly-

Present:
Step 1- US bans Huawei

Step 2- Google Bans Huawei

Step 3- China Gov helps Huawei get back on its feet

Future:
Step 4- Huawei makes their own OS to rival Google, the OS can run Android apps as well as IoS apps and has its own language/framework for developing new apps

Step 5- China bans Google from their market

Step 6- Chinese mobile manufacturers adopt the new OS

Step 7- China's population starts using the new OS i.e. country with the world's largest population starts using the new OS

Step 8- Chinese manufacturers like Xiaomi, Vivo, Oppo and OnePlus who already own approx 40% of India's smartphone market start distributing the new OS based phones in India. Factors like cheaper devices take this market share to 50%+

Step 9- Cry, cause the new OS is now being used by approximately 30% of the world's population.

Yeah, bring your hate in the comments but come back and talk to me in August 2022...

Data Engineering cycle of hell:

1) Receive an "beyond urgent" request for a "quick and easy" "one time only" data need.

2) Do it fast using spaghetti code and manual platforms and methods.

3) Go do something else for a time period, until receiving the same request again accompanied by some excuse about "why we need it again just this once"

4) Repeat step 3 until this "only once" process is required to prevent the sun from collapsing into a black hole

5) Repeat steps 1 to 4 until it is impossible to maintain the clusterfuck of hundreds of "quick and simple" processes

6) Require time for refactoring just as a formality, managers will NEVER try to be more efficient if it means that they cannot respond to the latest request (it is called "Panic-Driven Development" or "Crappy Diem" principle)

7) GTFO and let the company collapse onto the next Data Engineering Atlas who happens to wander under the clusterfuck. May his pain end quickly.

Hacktoberfest time, and I usually try to contribute by creating some trivial issues and labelling them as such - ones that I could fix in 2 seconds, just to help those starting out get a pull request and get used to how the process works. Like, we're talking *really* trivial - remove superfluous import statements, that sort of thing. In most of these I list exactly what needs to be changed.

This guy picks, what's probably the *easiest* of these tasks going, and then comes back saying he's got some questions. Dude, seriously?! It's right there in the damn issue description.

Whatever, I decide to be nice and I say he's welcome to ask. Brace myself for answering some stupid crap, but fine, we were all new once.

THE GUY COMES BACK AND SAYS HE NEEDS A CALL. A call, seriously? What is this crap? I do you a favour by letting you create a trivial PR, and you want me to literally burn my time & jump on a call to take you through step by step what to do?! Pff, and people wonder why I'm grumpy most of the time.

Step 1: Run to the store to buy a USB card reader because all of a sudden you have a need to use a 16Mb CF card that was tossed in a junk drawer for 20 years (hoping it still works, of course), but that was the easy part...

Step 2: Realize that the apps - your own - you want to run on your new (old) Casio E-125 PocketPC (to re-live "glory" days) are compiled in ARM format, not MIPS, which is the CPU this device uses, and the installer packages you have FOR YOUR OWN APPS don't include MIPS, only ARM (WHY DID I DO THAT?!), so, the saga REALLY begins...

Step 3: Get a 20-year old OS to install in a Hyper-V VM... find out that basic things like networking don't work by default because the OS is so damn old, so spend hours solving that and other issues to get it to basically run well enough to...

Step 4: Get that OS updated so that it's at least kind/sorta/maybe (but between you and me, not really!) safe online, all without a browser that will work on ANY modern site (oh, and good luck finding a version of Firefox that runs on it - that all took a few hours)...

Step 5: Okay, OS is ready to go, now get 20-year old dev tools that you haven't even seen in that many years working. Oh, do this with a missing CD key and ISO's that weren't archived in a format that's usable today, plus a bunch of missing dependencies because the OS is, again, SO old (a few MORE hours)...

Step 6: Get 20-year old code written in a language you haven't used in probably almost that long to compile, dealing with pathing issues, missing libs, and several other issues, all the while trying to dust off long-dormant knowledge somewhere in the deep, dark recesses of your brain... surprisingly, it all came back to me, more or less, in under an hour, which lead to...

Step 7: FINALLY get it all to work, FINALLY get the code to compile, FINALLY get it transferred to the device (which has no network capabilities, by the way, which is where the card reader and CF card came into play) and re-live the glory of your old, crappy PocketPC apps and games running on the real thing! WOO-HOO!

Step 8: Realize it's 3:30am by the time that's all done and be VERY thankful that you're on vacation this week or work tomorrow would SSUUCCKK!!!!

Step 9. Get called into work the next day for a production issue despite being tired from the night before and an afternoon of errands, lose basically a whole day of vacation (7 hours spent on it) and not actually resolve it by after midnight when you finally say that's enough :(

Talk about your highs and your lows.

Rant::aboutMyself(my_code){
Wrote 500+ lines of code without proper documentation. Got 200 little bugs. Got frustrated. Gave up on code. Started documenting it. Step by step. Resolved many silly mistake while documenting the code. Completed documentation. Run the program . Bugs reduced to 10. I'm sooo happy. I LOVE DOCUMENTATION 😍
}

Omg so I've been stuck on this function I'm writing that checks if a certain array value is so many characters long and well, it just wasnt returning false when outside the conditions..

I tried taking it step by step, echoing out every line and it all made sense to me and there were no syntax errors.

Time goes by and inside the configuration file I was testing.. I was changing the value of a DIFFERENT array property than what I was using in my condition. They looked really similar.. fml xD

Fukken School project

I spent days writing good documentation with step-by-step tutorials. I broke the project down into small, simple tasks.
Trying so hard to make everyone’s job easy.

And they still fail.

Give me a cookie

Might be a loose interpretation of 'vacation', but I was running a marathon using my phone for tunes, when suddenly I got a call from my boss; our application server had died and he had no idea how to restart it. So while running the race I was timing my exhales to give him the step-by-step instructions for reset-to-restart. The good news is that the miles just flew by as he read the logs, and I responded with commands. Suddenly I was at mile 22 and was actually feeling pretty good; didn't finish the race with a PR but was happy with the result and did get the server back up.

a small local social network i made around 2008 as a replacement for the original which the owner closed down.

i missed the people from there, so it motivated me to make a replacement in a week, while learning html+php+mysql+js.

it worked for about 3 years and i redid it from scratch 3 times as i gradually learned more.

it was cool to be basically a host of a community i've come to like in the years before, and it was basically the only project i felt, really felt, had meaning, a point. people were grateful that i made a replacement for the original closed-down site, and i was grateful that they were using it and that i could keep talking to all of them on it.

at the height of its popularity it had about 1500 registered accounts, 150 daily logged in ones, and about 30-40 very active ones.

it was also the place where i went to implement all the cool stuff i learned and came up with.

it had a pretty cool questionnaire creator (originally just a test of how deppressed users are, but then i thought "why not let people make their own tests/questionnaires?"), which tracked people's results over time and showed them on a cool interactive flash-based chart.

also a whole forum system made from scratch, wysiwyg article editor, later seamlessly integrated admin controls for those who had privileges, like, not a separate admin ui, but the admin buttons right on the site, later even a realtime chat persistent across page reloads where you could put special links which, on click, would highlight site elements/buttons, or even complete step-by-step path to them if it was more clicks. would highlight the first step, after clicking would then highlight the second one, and so on...

it was pretty cool stuff for 2008, and afaik it basically landed me my first two full-time jobs with almost no actual job interview, basically just "we looked at the site, interesting stuff, tell us how you did x and y and z on it, okay, hired"

back then i kinda felt i have a bright future ahead of me =D

Partner of ours claimed they are going to update their api. No breakage. My hopes were low and they did not disappoint.

Soon after the new version of their api went live, of course, loads of breakage. And the email contact with them is really fun.

Me: "Hello, since your update we get the issue A. Here's the complete communication."

Them: "We did not change the existing behavior. You are doing X wrong. Repeat that one call during the step and you should be fine."

Me: "Thank you, if I repeat the call, it does indeed work, albeit slower, since we are now repeating calls. Furthermore, our application was consuming your api for years and we did not change anything. So why is that step necessary now? Only after your update do our logs show errors from your API. And by the way, we now also have a issue with B. Why is that?"

Them: "Oh that's because your query the endpoint with "Fnord", try "Baz".

Me: "Yes, I do know that we query it with "Fnord" as that is what a previous endpoint of yours is responding to us. Why are we getting "Fnord"? What request do I have to make to get a "Baz" back?"

It feels like a game of wackamole. Squash one issue, ten more will pop up. I am one step away from becoming active-aggressive.

Step by step here:
1. Choosing a stack
2. What to put where(folder structure)
3. Naming stuff(variables, classes etc etc)
4. Finish what I started.

When you're stuck on the same error for so long, you try so many different things and by the time you get it to work, it feels like you've made so much progress. But once you take a step back you realize you really haven't done much.

Dear Client,

You said it was of paramount importance that this software work flawlessly. I've worked hard to make it so, even when your indecision and lack of attention to detail indicate you don't care as much as you say and have made the project late.

Yesterday when I handed you a step-by-step user acceptance test plan, you delegated it to someone not as familiar with your specific requirements. You said you don't have time for such things.

I will remind you of those words when the project launches and you find something you dislike.

Sincerely,
Me

Agreed on an offer from company X... Told them I'd sign the contract on my first working day, still a week away.

The offer had a lower salary than my previous job, I needed to relocate, and travel costs were not covered. It was a step back for me but I really needed a new job.

After the weekend I got an invitation for another interview... All went well and the perks were better than the offer made by company X.

Next day I had the second interview and they were very excited and offered me a contract.

Contract came in on friday, signed it and called company X that I'd like to reject the position after reconsidering my options...

Boy were they pissed off 😂

No, you cannot ask us to move our tech meeting elsewhere because we're being "loud", for the same reason we don't ask you to leave the area because your non-work-related chatter is distracting us from our said meeting. It's the only video conferencing system in the joint, and it's not our fault you and your people sit nearby. How dare you go past us and complain to our boss as if we're nothing to you - just because you were recently promoted, don't act like you were never in the trenches with the rest of us. It's like you have no respect for us now that you've gone a step up the ladder. The next time you or your team members try to fuck with us like that over petty shit like this, we're going to bring the hammer down on your asses and burn every last vestige of self-worth you have by making sure you never get a moment's peace. It's bad enough you and your team suck each other off during our bi-weekly department meeting by patting yourselves on the back for doing what's supposed to be your fucking jobs - don't you dare try to drag us down to make yourselves look like fucking saints. That is where I cross the goddamn line.

Business Intelligence, the most confused market technology has to offer. (Perhaps rivaled only by machine licking. Learning, whatever)

Step 1: develop a product that can replace a company's database guys. Make it cost more than the database guys.

Step 2: Show off product to managers using images of the product that the managers will love, but never have the skills to do themselves.

Step 3: Fucking obviously the managers buy it.

Step 4: Fire half the database staff.

Step 5: Managers give the BI tools to their remaining database guys ANYWAYS and instruct them to use it

Step 6: Database guys spend a month learning the new tool because management "wants to use it too".

Step 7: Database guys now use this new system for reports but have trouble using it for complex use cases, as it was designed for simple use cases. Meanwhile, management will never, ever touch the tool again.

Step 8: Hire new guys for reporting, because the remaining database guys can't complete both their normal tasks *and* the reports.

Step 9: Database guys are expensive. Go to step 1.

I used to have imposter syndrome when I first started at my current job. But then I discovered that one of my coworkers was an actual imposter. He didn't lie on his resume or anything but he was basically incapable of thinking for himself. If there was no step-by-step process to follow, he'd spin his wheels for weeks before doing it in the worst possible way, refusing all offers of assistance from the rest of our team.

After he quit and the true extent of his incompetence came to light, I no longer felt like an imposter.

I have an Android app suggestion:

A different alarm clock.
- wakes you up by increasing ring tone, from least to most, each step taking at least two seconds.
- you can give it a stream url (e.g. online radio or yt) and it uses that to wake you up.
- you give it an offline ringtone as well, in case the stream doesn't play.
- has repeated snooze. You hit the off button once and it goes to snooze. You hit it twice or trice and it is off. Otherwise, it rings again in 2-60 minutes. (User preference)
- is free. 😛

Shouldn't take long to make. I'd make it myself if I had the technical capabilities right now. Do link me if you make it or if you know of one already existing. (The existing ones I've found so far, I have issues with unnecessary permissions they ask mostly.)

So a few weeks ago I wiped my MacBook Pro to regain some space and speed, it wasn't really that slow I just had the disk partitioned into two installments of MacOS. When I erased the disk I thought the secure thing to do would be to set the format to journaled, encrypted rather than just journaled. Everything was working fine, there seemed to be this weird step of login when I restarted but whatever, except iCloud Drive. On my iMac it works fine but for whatever reason my MacBook Pro doesn't want to download custom folders (ones that aren't created by an app and don't have an app icon on folder icon) from my account despite them being clearly available in iCloud.com. So after this much time of messing with it I'm wiping my MacBook Pro again and formatting it as journaled (not encrypted). Wish me luck...

I seriously hate email problems with a passion. Like even when I step through every setting, checking things one by one. Everything seems fine, yet my clients email is getting rejected incoming and out and the only error is basically whoops it bounced! pretty much anything could've cause this.. yeah that's very helpful.

Google Business Profile is probably not meant for developers. "Help customers find your business by industry." Dev: set primary category to "Web Developer". Google: We didn't understand your category. Please select from the suggestions that appear when typing. Dev, typing: "Web D"... Google suggests: "Web Designer, Web hosting company, Well drilling contractor, Waterbed shop". Okay, Google, nevermind.
Google: "Update your customers. Keep your customers up to date about your business!" Dev clicks "add update", adds info about that customer should use different phone number temporarily due to broken phone. Google: "Your post has been removed from your Business Profile on Google because it violates one or more of our post content policies." Okay Google, at least you let me add an additional phone number on my profile without requiring to verify my primary number that I currently have not access to. Anything else?
Google: "Claim your €400 free advertising credit" Dev: clicks "claim credit" Google: "To access this Google Ads account, enable 2-Step Verification in your Google account." How to combine idiocy and deceptive patterns in a single UI: Google knows! Apart from their search engine, their unique business advantage is simple that they suck a little less than Apple and Microsoft. Sorry, not a day to be proud of our profession, once again.

I'm currently in the progress of deleting whatsapp and migrating to signal.
The hardest part of it is dealing with friends and family. I informed them about the incoming whatsapp-deletion tomorrow and the results were mixed. One friend told me she will not use signal, but i haven't talked with her that much anyway so... My mother asked me "can you not do this because i don't have space left on my phone?", my father told me "can you tell me about [...] before you go offline?", 2 people don't seem to care, and only my cousin contacted me on signal yet.

I have signal for 3 years now and even invited people to it, but i got the expected response "but all my friends are on whatsapp". Until recently i was the one with the shitload of messengers on my phone but some people can't be bothered to install a second one because i want to take one step (out of many to follow) to widen my privacy.
I'm really pissed by now and will declare any contact lost due to this as collateral damage.

So I let myself go by all of this talk about giving more freedom and autonomy to your team. "Don't micro-manage them", they said. "Trust them," they said. And that's the way I wish to be treated. That's how I personally work best.

Alas, this only works only when they're truly good at what they're doing. Sometimes I feel like we'd go faster if I did everything myself. These baby devs must be taken by the hand every damn step of the way.

"let's use git for this game jam"

Wait! Don't go! I love git and use it on every project I work on! You'll have to hear me out here.

This was 4 years ago, at my first Global Game Jam. Every jam and game I'd worked on up to that point, I was the only Dev; no need for git, as backups were more than enough. I joined a group with high hopes for the game jam, with three coders and a proper art team.

The entire jam was "1 step forward 2 steps back", as git somehow constantly overwrote code as fast as we could write it.

By the end of the jam we barely had anything to show for our hard work. The takeaway isn't even about git. It's simply to never work with other people. Git is a great protocol but it can't stop people from accidentally fucking other people over. Every jam since, I've worked on my own and had a far better time of it.

!(!(!(!(!(!(!(!rant)))))))
My new HTC smartphone hates me.
First it started to shut down all of the sudden yesterday night, when I was solving quadratic equations on my laptop.
I thought that it might be due to low battery. So I have restarted it. After putting itself into a bootloop for 4 start sequences, it was able to fully start to the page where it told me to enter the security pin to decrypt my files. I also had 30 attempts left. Like a ransomware.

I was like "tf I didn't set anything up".
So I decided to use my first attempt as I had 30 attempts left.
I entered the pin (I can swear that it's correct) and it told me that it has to wipe the /data partition.

I did that. I pressed that button. After waiting for 30 minutes I gave up and rebooted into the bootloader.
Bootloader -> Download Mode -> wipe /data (stock rom + stock recovery btw.)

Some error with "e: mount /cache failed[...]e: mount /data failed"
So, I tried using the adb sideload - no success.
Fastbooted into RUU Mode - HTC keeps rebooting itself into the RUU Mode - no success

Tried to flash the firmware and twrp recovery from Download mode - no success
Then I tried to flash all these things from the sd card - no success

Searched for revolutionary (I know this from my old HTC sensation device).
It wasn't big of any help.

Then someone on xda recommended htcDev (htc's <b>developer-friendly</b> lol site)
I followed every step. Everything seemed to be okay.
I got to the last step.
I needed to get my encrypted token by entering "fastboot oem get_identifier_token" to be able to submit it to HTC, and after they would send me an e-Mail with an .bin file that would let me unlock the bootloader to be able to flash my way through all this headache giving fucking piece of dog shit!

But since I can't back to the phone settings to select the bootloader activation box that would let me get my token... but nah.

FML

------------
Sent by using the devRant web app (:\)

Step 1: Become a freelancer
Step 2: Enjoy working
Step 3: Get annoyed by doing all the backoffce
Step 4: Get hired instead
Step 5: Work hard
Step 6: Boss notices your talent
Step 7: Boss founds startup with you
Step 8: Repeat Step2 until you have to repeat Step4

WTF IS WRONG WITH ASSEMBLY LANGUAGE?!
I was just modifying an existing program for adding a sequence of numbers from the data section and through console input. I studied the code and started modifying it one step at a time. I needed to modify it into a multiplication program. So I started by changing the ADD functions, replaced the result and buffer registers with bigger size and thought I completed it. WELL GUESS WHAT? SHIT JUST GIVES ME SEGMENTATION FAULT! NOW I HAVE TO REDO THE WHOLE THING! WHY DOESN'T IT TELL ME WHICH LINE OF THE CODE I FUCKED UP AT?! STUPID NASM COMPILER.

Yesterday i realised the importance of documenting everything step by step . I was told to port an driver/application that we made for linux 4.1 to a 4.9 kernel . Eventhough i did already port another similar application to the same , didnt remember what are things that i did.. Thank God ..If not for the constant pestering of my colleagues to document each step.. I would have been stuck in that island for 2 more days ..

Today I had to give a step-by-step guide on how to open a rar file (and explain what it is) to my software engineer classmate in the software engineering class...

Here's some screenshots of my c++ learning project, CursesWidgets! (Or ConsoleWidgets, it's officially just named "CW")

Just got layout managers done - pretty nice step forwards since now widgets don't need to render their children themselves; they can (and by default DO) delegate the work to a layout manager.

Here are the StackingLayoutManagers, which are the equivalent of WPF StackPanels or just the normal way HTML works. They have different orientations, however, and will soon have different alignments (Start, Middle, and End, which is the same thing as the typical Top, Middle, Bottom, Left, Center, Right, except SME can be used for either horizontal or vertical alignments)

Anyways, enough of my rambling. Here are some screenshots. If you made it this far you earned the knowledge that I plan to make a beastly terminal devRant client using this technology.

Google simply can't knock off harrassing their users with security theatre.

A friend of mine has a small personal YouTube channel. He has recently been bombarded with several phone verification requests a week: "Verify it's you. To continue your session, complete a brief verification. This extra step helps us keep your account safe by making sure it’s really you. "

While frequent verifications may be understandable on YouTube channels with millions of subscribers, channels with only a few dozen subscribers are not attractive hacking targets. A verification would be justified before a potentially harmful action such as deleting videos or deleting a channel. But not for normal everyday use.

What's next? Will they ask users to "verify it's them" every ten minutes, "just for extra security"? Just to verify that it is "really, really, really, really, really" them?

It's not security. It's security theatre.

Sorry, Google, but users are not in the mood of doing a phone verification every other day.

Has this been Google's perverted wet dream all along?

The person who claims we should be "in control" of our stack and not use any of this pre-made, one size fits all, BaaS bullshit.

Even though none of our projects are even remotely close to needing scaling and whatnot.

Then proceeds to argue all we need is a step by step guide on how to deploy things very easily using Cloud Formation.

Spends the next two weeks trying to figure out why config files and scripts don't work.

And now that we have that "recipe", we're fully capable of deploying our own pre-made, one size fits all backend.

My worst collab/group project experience definitely has to be my final semester project during my undergrad.

We were a team of 4 including myself and would meet every day to work and every day:

1. My teammates would show up late
2. One of my teammates’ girlfriend lived in my apartment and shed just show up every day and waste our time and make him never contribute (He LITERALLY never did any work and got by with no effort)
3. The other 2 on the team didn’t know anything and never made efforts to learn

I literally did the entire project on my own (Code the full project, make presentations for all the reviews, and teach the other 3 every step of the way).

TLDR: I topped my batch and got 199/200 whereas everyone else were 190 or below, and I went on to publish that project in a Science Journal (Again, with no efforts from the team)

Holy shit firefox, 3 retarded problems in the last 24h and I haven't fixed any of them.
My project: an infinite scrolling website that loads data from an external API (CORS hehe). All Chromium browsers of course work perfectly fine. But firefox wants to be special...
(tested on 2 different devices)
(Terminology: CORS: a request to a resource that isn't on the current websites domain, like any external API)

1.
For the infinite scrolling to work new html elements have to be silently appended to the end of the page and removed from the beginning. Which works great in all browsers. BUT IF YOU HAPPEN TO BE SCROLLING DURING THE APPENDING & REMOVING FIREFOX TELEPORTS YOU RANDOMLY TO THE END OR START OF PAGE!
Guess I'll just debug it and see what's happening step by step. Oh how wrong I was. First, the problem can't be reproduced when debugging FUCK! But I notice something else very disturbing...

2.
The Inspector view (hierarchical display of all html elements on the page) ISN'T SHOWING THE TRUE STATE OF THE DOM! ELEMENTS THAT HAVE JUST BEEN ADDED AREN'T SHOWING UP AND ELEMENT THAT WERE JUST REMOVED ARE STILL VISIBLE! WTF????? You have to do some black magic fuckery just to get firefox to update the list of DOM elements. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DEBUG MY WEBSITE ON FIREFOX IF IT'S SHOWING ME PLAIN WRONG DATA???!!!!

3.
During all of this I just randomly decided to open my website in private (incognito) mode in firefox. Huh what's that? Why isn't anything loading and error are thrown left and right? Let's just look at the console. AND IT'S A FUCKING CORS ERROR! FUCK ME! Also a small warning says some URLs have been "blocked because content blocking is enabled." Content Blocking? What is that? Well it appears to be a supper special supper privacy mode by firefox (turned on automatically in private mode), THAT BLOCKS ALL CORS REQUESTS, THAT MAY OR MAY NOT DO SOME TRACKING. AN API THAT 100% CORS COMPLIANT CAN'T BE USED IN FIREFOXs PRIVATE MODE! HOW IS THE END USER SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT??? AND OF COURSE THE THROWN EXCEPTION JUST SAYS "NETWORK ERROR". HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL THE USER THAT FIREFOX HAS A FEAUTRE THAT BREAKS THE VERY BASIS OF MY WEBSITE???

WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE NORMAL FIREFOX??????????????????

I actually managed to come up with fix for 1. that works like < 50% of the time -_-

maybe Step 2 didn't make it.
maybe it decided to leave and disappear.
or maybe, it was destroyed by an underpaid, overworked dev who holds grudges against Step 2.

Wherever you are, I'd miss the step that I didn't have to take to make the plugin works.

TL;DR My parents should have known that I was made for computers
Note: I am pretty young. Most of you were probably at least as old as I am now when it happened.
My parents told me about the first time I used a PC. They left me and my older siblings home alone with a movie on and returned later than they wanted to. We were still watching the movie, and when they asked how that was possible we told them that I restarted the DVD twice. I had never touched a computer before.

The first thing I actually remember is me playing Age of Empires II on a PC our family got for free somewhere. Although AoE3 was already out by that time, it ran slow af, but it was the most fun I had in my life up to that point. I was and still am pretty bad in both AoE3 and AoE2, but that was the first step into my preference for RTS games.

I've been laughed at a lot for thinking this way, but I'm honestly frustrated by how little information exists on the web for people who want to take Operating System development a step further. I mean, the OSDev Community is amazing and offers pretty, much everything one needs to know at the system level. But my issue is: What if someone didn't want to use existing compilers and assemblers like GCC and NASM, and do everything from total scratch? I mean, the original Unix came from somewhere, right? I know you're going to think "Why not? It works.". Well, I just think it's crazy how few people (such as Linus and the GNU foundation) are out there that have the ability to create such things without help from existing software tools. Sure, it could take me decades of careful practice and experience, but my passion is for creating software at this level and becoming one of those people is very strong. I just wish I knew where to begin and who to learn from.

The primary concept of reactive programming is great. The idea that things just naturally re-run when anything they rely on is changed is amazing. Really, I think it's the next step in programming language development and within a decade or two at least one of the top 5 programming languages will be built entirely on this principle.
BUT
Expecting every dependency to be used unconditionally is stupid. Code that checks everything it might need all the time even if a decision can be made from much less information is simply bad, inefficient code. If you want to build a list of dependencies automatically, you have to parse the source.
And I really hate that there are TONS of languages that either make the AST readable at runtime or ship with a very powerful preprocessor that could be used to analyse expressions and build dependency lists, but by its sheer popularity the language we're trying to knead into something it was never and still isn't meant to be is JavaScript.

Well. Fuck.

A sunny monday morning. The sun almost glimpsing over the horizon. I'm on my way to the office, taking a breath of fresh cool air. It is infused by the scent of sweet pastries.

I reach the office, but something is different. Why is the door slightly opened? Carefully I grab the door handle. I do my first step past the doorframe and wooosch. Thick and sticky stuff is running done my spine, finding it's way through my clothes. I feel so un-fucking-believably dirty in this very moment.

This should give you an impression how I felt when I had to change a DNS record in this completely broken setup for just a matter of seconds until the letsencrypt client renewed the certificate.

I'm feeling seriously dirty.

Whenever I see a website ask
1. Accept all cookies
2. Customize selection

I can see what they're really saying...

1. Accept! and I'll fuck off out of your way and let you read.

2. So you wanna read the content heh? Step into our office. Ok then, lets go through them one-by-one and you can explain to me why you think you don't need that cookie. and then MAYBE we'll fuck off our of your face so you can read the scant few lines of text standing between you and finishing your homework/job/whatever.

I met someone who worked at google. She gave me a lot of asvice and made me feel like i knew shit...

We were on a discussion and she made fun of me saying thats i livwd under a rock because i didnt know that youtube was owned by google.

And then she shut me down because i asked her about her opinion about Microsoft and git and told me she didnt know wjat git was.....

Im confused because i was okay not knowing something becausei see myself as learner. Yet she laughed at me. Which i can accept because its okay to laufh about people.

But she shut down the git discussion like a bitch “i don't know what it is and i dont want to speak a out it” in front of her friends.

While i would normaly take a dump on that person's front step， i am living in my partners city where everybody knows Each other.

Regardless， im a bit drunk and shes a ducktwit. I had a great night but ahe made me feel like shit coz she acts like she knows all this shit and im realising that she os just full of shit.

1. Go to Github for you
2. Download the 'codes'
3. Send them as a pdf to you when the code is there in the repo.
4. Write you a step by step tutorial when there's a clear README.

YOU LAZY MOTHERFUKCER!

Best way to avoid procrastination : We tend to avoid commitments or to do large tasks as even visualizing them seems tiring and the longer it takes, the vulnerable we are to distractions

So I use this simple trick
I break my task into numerous sub tasks. For example if I need to finish a feature before day end, I would first list down all the cases I can think of in order and write them down using actual pen and paper.
I then start implementing them step by step.
I mark them checked once done.
It gives me a sense of achievement as I see those checks besides the sub tasks and I can also take breaks between steps.

So all it takes is just first five minutes of planning.
I had to do the above procedure, for this post as well.
Hope it helps fellow developers
:)

If only they allow us to write unit test at work, its not that It is forbidden but we are not given time to do so :\

Done my test on my side project and now I can happily move to the next step.

Though I'd be happy if someone answers this:
1. When I have to execute functions by order, do I write all their code in one single function and divide them into regions (speaking of C# #reagion)

OR

2. I keep them split and implement the order attribute for XUnit?

My test case is basically just to make sure CRUD methods inside my repositories are working as expected, noting complex

Explain to me why people love Apple so much.

What is a simple task in every other OS ever is a multi step dance on a Mac (or iphones too for that matter). It is a productivity nightmare that makes the whole system feel like it is only meant to be used to watch youtube.

The way the keyboard works feels like it was designed by aliens.

Browsing the system with Finder is an absolute pretzel nightmare. No moving files. Copy, paste, then delete is as good as you're going to get. No way to type the path to go straight to it. You will do things the slowest way possible and be happy while doing it.

Want to quickly create a blank file in the current folder? Oh what's that? You thought the right click menu was going to help you like every other OS? Apple laughs in your face for such arrogance.

I'm getting beat up pretty bad by Rust. I like it so far but man is it hard. Imposter-syndrome is almost making me lose motivation. Almost, but I won't quit, one day I'll get there.

I think the primary reason I think I'm having such a hard time is that I'm trying to learn stuff that prevents me from making some mistakes that I have never run into. I know a bit of the theory but no hand's on experience on double-free errors, memory leaks and weird low-level stuff. I read the documentation, mostly understand what stuff is for but when I go write code I'm just like "now what?". I don't have enough experience to know when and where to use some concepts and I'm super lost. I don't know where to start and the feeling of being completely overwhelmed by all sorts of new stuff is at the same time exciting and frightening.

I have never, as a programmer, thought something was hard. All of my past knowledge required dedication, work and patience, but I wouldn't say I ever felt something was *hard*. But Rust... damn. Rust is hard.

Hopefully at the end of this super steep learning curve I'll know a lot more stuff and have stronger "dev powers" and be one step closer to being as knowledgeable as some of you guys around here to whom I look up to.

Oh god... technical decisions should be taken by people who actually know what they are doing and even so still counter-checked and not followed blindly.

I am currently working in a company that wasted millions by trying to implement micro-services where they don't belong and didn't step back when they realize it was a mistake

(protip: micro-services usually don't belong in most places).

Now we're dealing with the sunken costs fallacy and I am seriously believing that the company is going bust in a few months. Let's wait and see.

Sending automatic spinned content email to a client asking him for payement... Starting at 60mn and decreasing interval by 1 minute each step ! He pays when interval become 7 minutes and phone me to say: "Hi ! How are you ?" ... mmmm' well well well... Calculate the number of emails he receive !

For the love of sex, can someone help me out??!!

There is a VS Code extension that helps in creating a step-by-step tutorial of a codebase. Can someone please tell me its name?!

Google is a bitch today.

I am torn apart for several months now. My boss and coworkers are amazing people, projects are quite fun and interesting, workplace is close to home and they pay for my exams (step by step reaching for MCSD certification), but...
The salary if fcking low (you could probably earn same ammount while working as a waitress of normal restaurant). Not only for me of course, but still :( Now I am thinking of running to some bank and doing boring programming job coding same tasks again and again, but getting payed very well

I get you're a little over twice my fucking age but you still shouldn't need a step by fucking step instruction book to download and open a damn document. Especially since you do it every damn day in office. Just cause you're remote on a laptop doesn't change how shit works.

Hell I took the damn time to make your laptop as close yp your desktop as I could. And asked you to test it before you left. You didn't. At this point its just incompetent and not my problem.

Fucking hell. Half an hour on phone to open a damn .docx in word. At 48 you should be able to do this. Fuckinh hell

As the saying goes "beggars can't be choosers" and I need to get a job.
I got approached by a recruiter in LinkedIn who had attached a PDF brochure.
It seems OKish, but the only part that worries me is "step 3" of recruitment process:
"Invitation to France and have a face-to-face technical interview and meet the team."

Will I be out of bounds if I ask the technical interview (if I ever make it that far) take place into Skype?
There are some savings, but going to France (somewhere between Cannes and Nice in summer period!!!) just for an interview that I might fail is a big gambit for me.

`if (sequenceNum - 1 != -1)`
instead of
`if (sequenceNum != 0 )`

lol

and yes what it does is to check if we are at step 0 of sequential thing. I was confused for 5 minutes. just to accept that he doesn't mean something else by it.

Here’s my step-by-step guide for the idiot:

1) take <cutting-egde tech> (Tech)
2) read documentation for Tech
3) figure out what you want to do with Tech
4) if you are being ambitious, simplify the idea appropriately
5) Go do the thing with the Tech
6 When you fail at something, RTFM
7) Rinse and repeat

I've always thought that Wordpress is HOT CARBAGE for custom solutions. The opinion is influenced by devRant actually. And I'm really starting to see that after few of months working with it.

For context, it's a accommodation booking site with sub-theme that uses plugins such as Woocommerce Bookings. I didn't build it but I'm now developing and maintaining it.

The emails... I've tried to make them function properly. But no. Because we skip the fucking verification step to allow instant booking it just won't send them. I made yet another workaround and casted some spells. NOW IT SENDS THE EMAIL TWICE...

I'm done. It's good enough.

Just gonna leave this here because I am too lazy to write a proper article for my website:
If anyone is trying to create a Vue.js website with Node.js backend do NOT use express-vue, it is unnecessarily complicated and broken. Instead use this method I found.
You will need:
- IntelliJ IDEA / WebStorm / other IDE supporting multiple modules per project and tasks
- Nodejs and npm
- vue-cli

Step by step:
1. Create new empty project
2. Add your frontend module using vue-cli generator
3. Add your backend module using Express generator
4. Run npm build in your frontend module once
5. Move or remove public folder in your backend module
6. Create a symlink from your backend module root called public pointing to dist folder in your frontend module root
7. Make sure to add "Run npm build" from frontend module to your "bin/www" task (default task for Express module)
8. Enjoy developing your REST API in Node/Express and your frontend in Vue.js with single-file components and it being served by the same server that is providing the backend.
(Since they are separate modules and you are not mixing webpack and Node/Express you can add ts-loader, stylus-loader, pug-loader or any other loaders without screwing anything up)

For deployment you just need to copy the contents of dist into public on the server. (and not upload the symlink)

I work remotely for a team that works together in an office, and this morning on the conference call a team member said

"one thing i think we need to do with this is stay on task, because while these things that have been added are cool we don't need to be doing anything not outlined in the MVC requirements"

Okay first of all -- this is a completely foreign technology to this team. It's not like I diddled around adding fancy animations and no function. The problem working in a new technology with an old mindset is assuming that it's going to move linearly from step 1 to step 2. And that drives me fucking insane.

- Progress in paid contracted work is done by staying on task.

- Progress in research isn't done linearly. You have to try shit -- and figure out what doesn't work.

I feel bad because I'll chime in and shoot down ideas with a fucking guided missile because I know the answer and I've done the fucking research -- I'm not a dick about it, but replying with a simple "no that's not possible, because of this or that", the call becomes silent for 30 seconds because I've shattered their understanding of the technology because nobody has taken the time to understand anything about how this thing works!!

So until they either listen to me, ask me, or learn the smallest amount to get on my fucking level, I'll keep progressing -- because whether the old world idealists like it or not -- that's my job.

Progress.

</ rant>

A remarkably stupid but efficient technique I invented today to measure the latency of an audio feedback channel involving multiple hardware elements that is difficult to synchronize by itself:

1. Knock. Observe the echo in the feedback.
2.Try to knock in such a way that the physical sound more-or-less lines up with the feedback. The human brain is really good at this on average.
3. Once you often only hear one knock (as perfect synchronization as your ear can tell), record several minutes of audio
4. Stop knocking, count the additional knocks in the echo
5. Multiply the average delay between knocks on the recording by the number of additional knocks from step 4

Teacher asks me to join him for a web app development.

First stages, I have to dig deep into a framework I don't know (He doesn't know it too, and I know that learning is the only way to step through)

Month goes by, began developing some mock-ups, he says he didn't like it, sends me a website made in fucking Wix. Seriously?

Fast forward another month, tonight I'm coding some stuff, he stills doesn't know how to fucking use Yii. fml

20 years ago, in China, they sold a so-called learning-machine which is a modified version of super Nintendo with a full sized keyboard, you could use it to learn how to type, and play Nintendo games. somehow it supports basic, and the manual book have printed a full code to create a stupid game with you could move a super Mario character with arrows, me and my step brother spend a whole day typed the 40+pages of code and enjoyed the game for 5 mins. BTW you can not save your program. after that I think it is so cool to create vedio games by programming.

Ok, so I have been lurking around here for a while now. Not at all knowing what to rant about. I like my work, I don't have to deal too much with annoying (or almost any at all) customers and all in all I feel fine.
However, I feel like I want to, in some way step into this awesome community in other ways than just comments and ++.

So this post will be about a book. It's almost our Bible. Well it's probably the closest thing to a proper part of the trilogy we will get.
And for not being written by Douglas Adams (the almighty) himself; this book is surprisingly good! If you haven't, and get your hands on it, do read it!

I am trying to apply for a student credit card. Should be relatively simple, but guess what: it isn't. First there was a question on your income. I didn't know if you had to include your student loan by issued by the goverment and after calling the bank, the answer seemed to be no. And the form didn't succeed because your income should be higher than 1 euro. So I've contacted the bank again and it seems that you could just fill in your student loan as income. Okay, so that should fix the problem. So I came very close to completing the form, gave the website me an error in the last step!

Today I asked a stupid question on stackoverflow
Got a reply which I already knew
I just hadn’t implemented it as it had to be put in a complex part of code step by step.
I took the time and implemented the solution step by step and it worked.
Why have I become like this.....old and stupid....

If software developers / engineers and various other technical people stop serving banks and governments and become free minded we’re be having our own clothes and food served to us whenever we want and where we want by now.

Fucking capitalism and stupid dickheads.

I think being able to be served by robots in your own house to provide you everything you need is first step for long spaceship trips that can take over galaxies.

Living on this planet is boring as fuck.

We've been using private GitHub repos as a distribution method for our personal npm packages at work for years.

I finally got sick of it and did the work to publish them to artifactory yesterday. Today, I worked out the remaining kinks, fixed the CI builds, and wrote a wiki page explaining the change with step by step migration instructions and sent it around to the rest of the devs. And it's working great!

I feel simultaneously like a hero for finally getting this fixed and an idiot for putting up with it for so long.

Also thankful for my devops friend who helped a bunch.

It has now become trend for all new startups in my country to follow these three steps.
Step 1 - Attract developers by showing them high CTC.
Step 2 - Make them work mercilessly on intern basis giving them low pay.
Step 3 - Fire them after intern period without giving some valid reasons.

I am fed up now as I have wasted my six months without getting much pay and now I am jobless 😨

Wasted a day as Shitlock Holmes with the build chain.

It would not reproduce the firmware hexfile that had been checked in. Reverse engineering that along with the mapfile to find out the cause, it was a const string that was guarded by an ifdef from another file that was auto-generated as prebuild step via a script that fetched some version control info.

Or, it would have been if the installation instructions had been correct and someone had described that no spaces in the absolute path name of the project are allowed. Otherwise, that shit just failed silently.

I then had to reverse engineer the intended workflow from the commit history in the version control to figure out that the last dev obviously hadn't quite understood the project specific workflow and how the version control interacts with these build scripts.

At least, I finally did get a matching hexfile.

Google documentation sucks!

Lack of practical examples. They show us very simple example like clicking on button and then straight away redirect to API docs.
Wait, let me at least understand how things fit in together.

Me: Hey google where is step by step guide, at least for setup?
Google: We don't do that here!

New day, new rant, same shit.

So basically, if you are following my rants you already know I'm working with a crappy framework forgotten by God and you should even be aware my manager is not an IT expert.

So anyway, we have this requirement to implement: a step-by-step process.

They asked us to make the UI design.

My big ass manager couldn't hold his expertise so basically he told us he would make the UI design.
He is a self-entitled UX designer, just saying.
I still don't know who he is, why he is there and why he is doing all this damage. (I only know he is a friend's ceo )

Today I got his UI mockup. It's a fucking nightmare. xD I mean, you would shoot yourself in the foot. If I was the customer I'd just leave the page. You may ask yourself: "How bad a UX process can be designed?" Well, a lot.

The interaction on the page is a clusterfuck.

I'd give you an example but it's so complex to describe I'm just leaving this rant as it this.

I'm implementing this... I'd like to say sorry to all our customers, it's not the devs fault.

Oh Lord give me the strength and the brainpower to step a way from freelancing or at least overcome the humongous pile of shite tied to the aforementioned barely lucrative activity.
AMEN !!

Recently got a client. We had an agreement on requirements, deadlines and on pricing. It's a job that can be done in a week if all the resources are at hand.
He reaches back a couple of days later and says :

Him: Listen I am on an intermediate...
Me: Mmhmm.
Him: I had a talk with the actual owner and he can only pay you in June.
Me: I see, but that I can't do. That means if the website is live by the 15th I'll have to wait for 2 weeks at least before getting paid.
You'll have to come up with something that makes more sense.

fml.

So after two and a half months of waiting 30-40 minutes for every build on the build server, and trying my best to start refactoring the hugeness of our main solution with limited success...

I discover that 2/3 of the build time is caused by the Get Source step deleting and getting EVERY BRANCH IN THE MAIN REPO!!!

This was taking 15-25 minutes. Every. Build.

I changed the build definition to map and cloak the repo correctly, so now the Get Source step takes less than a minute, and the whole build completes in 12-14 minutes...

Yowza! I guess that's a pretty good win to start my two week's vacation on ;-)

Working on something...

-Hun?! Why the hell doesn't it work?

Attempt a few fixes...

-Still doesn't work? Damn what am i doing wrong?

Attempt other changes...

-Why is it still not working!?

Debug step by step, validate my values are fine...

-Why does my output not correspond to my values!?! What the hell is this black magic!?

Rebuild the same solution for the 5th time...

-...Why does it work now...

Don't you just love thise dev days that just flay by, looked at the clock now and its just after 5pm,been coding pretty much all day.

Was reading up on progressive Web apps last night and just as a quick test made my own website one, so this morning through I would take the next step.

Few months ago I had made an events list app for android, also just for fun, but I point blank refuse to take it to ios as I see no reason to spend nearly 6 weeks salary on a Mac book because they a bunch of dicks, not to mention the $100 you need to pay each year just for them to annoy you.

Anyway, so after a quick update to my api, no thanks to Gitlab. I put together a fully offline capable pwa in react. So awesome how simply it really was, it's basically done, just needs some polish.

Got some Freelance work(PHP) via my friend so i said ok lets see. Those were some college students and wanted their project to be deployed that their seniors built and none of them knew how to fix the issues so here i step in.
Nightmare of a design, no signs of framework, html/css looks like it was designed by a 10th grader, no prepared queries, every file uses db config seperately so a minor change would require me to edit those 50+ php files... overall a broken mess. FML.

People need to throw away their manufactured outrage about the gimp fork, glimpse. Aside from the fact that there are people who are genuinely offended by the term, it also just makes FOSS look unprofessional and foolish, that such a capable piece of software is named so crudely. If we want to be taken seriously, then something easy like changing crude and offensive names is a no-brainer.

Alt-right, 4chan, edgy defenders of the right to offend need to step aside, because they're in the way of progress.

Start with a TI Basic program on ti 84 plus in schhol. The program was written by my math teacher an calculate within 10 step the square root from an number.
Then i start code my on programs and play a costum os on my ti. Years later start with java in computer science at school. Coding in java editor.

Windows - what the fuck! I cannot understand why people WANT to use this - its' buggy, unstable and the user-experience leaves me with the same feeling as when i step on a dog turd barefoot.

I know Linux has been a hard road for many, even a few years back I would do an update and my day would be lost to fixing it. But it's literally made by people in their spare time! Ultra-corp Microsoft fuck it up all the time, with thousands of full time employees!

Gah. Come back steve jobs - I need a hug. (please wear your turtleneck)

Programming is like getting a crush.
When you couldn't turn her on, you never figure out why.
Even if you did it, you still cannot believe why it could succeed all in a sudden.

The first time you did a unit test
is when you asked if she is okay
for a date; step by step,
In order not to break.
First, ask if she is free; Then, if she really need to eat,
she said OK there.

But, finally she didn't turn up
Integration test failed.
She was such a bitch.

A customer asks for a change request or a bug fix and it results in creating a ticket for that.
It's the process and how it works in most places but after you finish with the task and fix the same customer who provided you with the requirements will request that you share the steps on how to test the fix or the feature.
I'm not speaking about the data preparation or required configuration. I mean a step-by-step instruction on how the tester/QA will test it.
It's driving me mad!! So a way to counterplay this stupid requests, I provide the happy path and what to expect. And in case, they stumbled on a bug later in production, I can easily say "It was approved by your testing team and that's a new requirement ;)"

oh shitty shit of all shits in the world

I just run out of time on a crossover test of Android Architect because of a stupid call by a stupid old friend.

The test were a bit difficult but I did something really good, and I was on the step 4/5.

Non-IT
Can't afford laptop
Want to make an app from scratch by coding , compiling from my Android mobile.
Is it possible??
What would you suggest me?
Which language would be better to start with.
step by step procedure would be helpful.
Do's and don't!!!

Or this attempt look silly/lame?!

Created a website for a client at a pretty low quotation. Set up 2 email accounts and provided step by step instruction on how to do it. Client now expect me to do it for all 13 of his employee with migration. For free. Told him i will need to charge extra for this, he claims that i didnt mention right at the start. Is this my fault? Should i do it? Please share.

I'm a little afraid of what I'm doing. I just asked my boss to change my current role, almost on site, with a new one requested by the global function of my company. If they accept I will be traveling >80% of the time. I know I will miss my little daughters but I also know that this is maybe the last chance for a step forward in my career. I'm sharing my feelings only with my brother and devrant people.

!rant

I just made my API in my laravel and I understand how it works! It may seem like not a lot, but I got from far.

Just came two years ago in this industry as I worked as a customer service agent for a hostingcompany. I entered a whole new area what I immediatly got into at the time. Mind I already was studying Biomedical labresearch at the same time and was the IT guy in the family. Well, think back then I was just googling and fixing shit most of the time.

I was 21 at the time and began to learn everything I could learn in my position and soon it was not enough and wanted to learn more by working parttime(study already asks a lot of time). I soon applied as Junior System Engineer within the same company without prior education and got the job! And I'm back feeling I entered a new area where you feel you can do so much by just learning how it works. Now I want to learn to develop in PHP so I may make another step further.

Not a rant, but I want to share my experience as labrat starting to someting programming(did some bio-informatics, which was really interesting but with less emphasis on programming but more on data analysis). Still got a gigantic of list I want to learn from languages and frameworks to orchestration systems.

The next step for improving large language models (if not diffusion) is hot-encoding.

The idea is pretty straightforward:
Generate many prompts, or take many prompts as a training and validation set. Do partial inference, and find the intersection of best overall performance with least computation.

Then save the state of the network during partial inference, and use that for all subsequent inferences. Sort of like LoRa, but for inference, instead of fine-tuning.

Inference, after-all, is what matters. And there has to be some subset of prompt-based initializations of a network, that perform, regardless of the prompt, (generally) as well as a full inference step.

Likewise with diffusion, there likely exists some priors (based on the training data) that speed up reconstruction or lower the network loss, allowing us to substitute a 'snapshot' that has the correct distribution, without necessarily performing a full generation.

Another idea I had was 'semantic centering' instead of regional image labelling. The idea is to find some patch of an object within an image, and ask, for all such patches that belong to an object, what best describes the object? if it were a dog, what patch of the image is "most dog-like" etc. I could see it as being much closer to how the human brain quickly identifies objects by short-cuts. The size of such patches could be adjusted to minimize the cross-entropy of classification relative to the tested size of each patch (pixel-sized patches for example might lead to too high a training loss). Of course it might allow us to do a scattershot 'at a glance' type lookup of potential image contents, even if you get multiple categories for a single pixel, it greatly narrows the total span of categories you need to do subsequent searches for.

In other news I'm starting a new ML blackbook for various ideas. Old one is mostly outdated now, and I think I scanned it (and since buried it somewhere amongst my ten thousand other files like a digital hoarder) and lost it.

I have some other 'low-hanging fruit' type ideas for improving existing and emerging models but I'll save those for another time.

Why the fuck are there so many utterly useless programming blogs? I have to implement DES in C++ for our college project. After coding most of it step by step, I decided to swallow my pride and check for an implementation online to save time because I was confused in the XOR part. Now most programming blogs had the same code copy pasted. To top that, NAME YOUR FUCKING VARIABLES PROPERLY YOU MORONS! I decided I'm better off resolving my confusions the hard way.

A day in the life of @C0D4

Yay it's Tuesday.....

So morning goes something like coffee, yea no coffee no @C0D4, get to the office, get busy with normal morning routine - run the almost automated scripts I have to run - delete the 100+ emails I don't actually need from last night, read the 2 I do care about - yea 2 freakin emails out of 117 🤦‍♂️
But what ever that's what outlook rules are for... except I actually have to glimpse over them all just in case something of mine broke.

Go get another coffee,
Start working through the days tickets - ok cool nothing major to worry about, let's get back to writing tests from yesterday.

Well fuck that was a bad decision, no matter what I do this little fucker won't pass, yet doing this process step by step, detail for detail, it works - no issues, but automate this fucker and it screams its head off.

So fine, I give up and go to lunch,
Come back... spend next 3 hours on this 1 problem... 1 FREAKING problem 🤦‍♂️🥴🤦‍♂️🥴🤦‍♂️

This thing has beaten me, and for no apparent reason - it just doesn't like running under a test scenario.
Would have given up hours ago, except its a vital piece of code I'm trying to cover 😑 of course it is.

Well somewhere in there I managed to do a deployment for another project and change a few things in there.

This week is starting to look like hell,
Yay hump day tomorrow!!!!!
That's something, the week is coming to an end.... right? Please.... right!!!

They keep training bigger language models (GPT et al). All the resear4chers appear to be doing this as a first step, and then running self-learning. The way they do this is train a smaller network, using the bigger network as a teacher. Another way of doing this is dropping some parameters and nodes and testing the performance of the network to see if the smaller version performs roughly the same, on the theory that there are some initialization and configurations that start out, just by happenstance, to be efficient (like finding a "winning lottery ticket").

My question is why aren't they running these two procedures *during* training and validation?

If [x] is a good initialization or larger network and [y] is a smaller network, then
after each training and validation, we run it against a potential [y]. If the result is acceptable and [y] is a good substitute, y becomes x, and we repeat the entire procedure.

The idea is not to look to optimize mere training and validation loss, but to bootstrap a sort of meta-loss that exists across the whole span of training, amortizing the loss function.

Anyone seen this in the wild yet?

well I was going to go with the Baller peak but it seems more than a few people beat me to it.

for me I like to step away for a quick game of pool, it allows me to temporarily disconnect from the issue by physically doing something else whilst I play and talk it over. sometimes by myself and other times with a colleague but it usually does the trick.

>Working on code
>Shit works as intended first try, nice
>Goes to play strange bootleg Gameboy Color ROM sent by a friend
>ROM immediately fucking dies
wtf.svg
>Pop emulator's debugger
we're executing from VRAM, stack's firmly embedded in ROM
>why
>Add execution breakpoint to entrypoint of game, restart emulated system (because i'm actually using the legit bios i hacked so it allows null/corrupted games to run)
>Step through everything, everything goes well until all of a sudden we call a function and shit hits the goddamn fan
well we have the culprit
>step through subroutine
if <unused_byte_in_HRAM> != 0 then stackPointer+=32;tryAgain();else return
>***y***
>Realize this is using a bootleg Memory Bank Controller with hard-backed encryption so none of the bytes executed or read as data are the right byte
>Find emulator that'll handle the jank MBC
>read code to try and figure out how it works
if checksumExtendedLogoBlob == some_number then set MBC_Bootleg1 else if checksumExtendedLogoBlob == some_other_number then set MBC_Bootleg2 else if...
>of course
>Spend 10 minutes finding the right bootleg MBC
>code shows 8 possible tables for real bit order based on some value in the cart header
>look for code that gets this value
>not in the header
>not in ANY header in this 1000+ file emulator
>not in any related cpp files???
>get desperate
>email author
>"Delivery failed: email doesn't exist"

fuck me i guess

In a class right now. The rants are more interesting than what the professor is teaching!
How our professors teach:
Step 1: Open up a PDF of the subject book.
Step 2: Read everything line-by-line.
Step 3: "Refer the internet".

Yeah, because I don't have the book to read the shit you're teaching.

Customer: You don't seem very comfortable with this; maybe you could pass it on to another engineer..?

Situation:
I'm a System Management team engineer. Customer is asking about licensing (which is a different team) and has that very rude habit of asking a question, doing a small pause in which I start answering, and then speaking again and cutting me off; thus causing me to seem very splutter-y. Since I couldn't give a definitive answer to his licensing question he doubts everything and thinks I can't do crap. And he's the one who wants me to sit on an upgrade with him because he's too afraid to follow documentation.

His words to me: "Have you ever done this upgrade before; I mean are you familiar with it?"

Me: "Nope since it's not policy to sit on upgrades as we are a break-fix center but I've directed other customers to do it through the documentation I've given you and they got on fine."

Seriously doubt the capacity of some of these guys to do an upgrade where there's step-by-step videos and very legit documentation (never mind this upgrade uses the tool which has the best record for not breaking)

Why are hooks so awful?

What justifies having everyone using React relearn how to do things when hooks do not bring any new features to React?

Why does getting setInterval to work with hooks require a ~3000 word blog post by a maintainer which constantly assures you this IS a step forward?

Is scrolling up and down a class component really so hard that this clusterfuck is worth it?

>:(

Magento Debugging Horror!
Changing lots of things in magento with no problem. Continuing development for quite sometime. Suddenly decide to clear cache to see affect of a change on a template in frontent. Suddenly magento crashes! There's no error message. No exception log. No log in any file anywhere on the disk. All that happens is that magento suddenly returns you to the home page!
Reverting all the changes to the template. Clear the cache. Nope! Still the same! Why? Because the problem has happened somewhere in your code. Magento just didn't face it, because it was using an older version of your code. How? Because magento 2 even caches code! Not the php opcache. Don't get me wrong. It has it's own cache for code, in a folder called generated. Now that you cleared all the caches including this folder, you just realized that, somewhere something is wrong. But there is no way for you to know where as there is absolutely no exception logged anywhere!
So you debug the code, from index.php, down to the deepest levels of hell. In a normal php code, once the exception happens, you should see the control jumps to an exception handler, there, you can see the exception object and its call stack in your debugger. But that's not the case with magento.
Your debugger suddenly jumps to a function named:
write_close();
That's all. No exception object. No call stack. No way to figure out why it failed. So you decide to debug into each and every step to figure out where it crashes. The way magento renders response to each request is that, it calls a plugin, which calls a plugin loop, which calls another plugin, which calls a list of plugins, which calls a plugin loop, which calls another plugin.....
And if in each step, just by accident, instead of step through, you use the step over command of your debugger, the crash happens suddenly and you end up with the same freaking write_close() function with no idea what went wrong and where the error happened! You spend a whole day, to figure out, that this is actually a bug in core of magento, they simply introduced after your recent update of magento core to the latest STABLE version!!! It was not your mistake. They ruined their own code for the thousandth of time. You just didn't notice it, because as I said, you didn't clear the `generated` folder, therefore using an older version of everything!
Now that after spending 7 hours figuring out what has failed with absolutely no standard way of debugging and within a spaghetti of GOTO commands (Magento calls them plugin), why not report it to github? So you report it with a pull request. This also takes 1 hour of your time. Just to next day get informed that your pull request is rejected because another person already fixed the bug and made the same pull request. It was just not on the latest stable version yet!
So you decide to avoid updating magento as much as possible. Because you know that the next Stable version will make your life and career unstable. But then the customer complains that the Admin Panel is warning him of using old Magento version which might pose SECURITY THREATS!

Anyone know of any good reference material that teaches you how to implement and train your own Yolo object localization neural network? (Preferably for tensorflow) I'm not looking for pretrained models that you just downloaded and run, rather a tutorial that walks you step by step through the implementation of the network, the reasoning behind the architecture, and examples of the training data used for the training as well as the process of training?

I know it's a lot to ask but it's really frustrating when ever example is just "clone this repo, hit run and use the pretrained models" sure it might get you up and running quickly but it doesn't really teach you anything...

P.s. - seems like every educational post goes from super simple to super complex without any middle ground and the super complex stuff doesn't tell you why its used the way way it is.

Imagine both having the build step AND not having a strong and reliable type system. What have we got ourselves into? Truly an asylum run by its inmates.

Jenkins' triggerManualBuild randomly but if so then consistently produces 500 errors for certain newly created jobs. I haven't really found a pattern, yet I was bit by it in the past already. I used to "solve" it by deleting the offending job and re-creating it.

Now, I have this annoying issue again, and no matter how often I re-create that shitty one-liner job in the pipeline, it won't trigger. (The job itself is fine. It's the actual trigger that is broken.)

It's not like it's important or anything, as this is basically only the "push to production" step.

FML. And fuck me for stating: "Creating a delivery pipeline should be straightforward. I therefore consider 1 storypoint enough."

!rant

Ever find something that's just faster than something else, but when you try to break it down and analyze it, you can't find out why?

PyPy.
I decided I'd test it with a typical discord bot-style workload (decoding a JSON theoretically from an API, checking if it contains stuff, format and then returning it). It was... 1.73x the speed of python.

(Though, granted, this code is more network dependent than anything else.)

Mean +- std dev: [kitsu-python] 62.4 us +- 2.7 us -> [kitsu-pypy] 36.1 us +- 9.2 us: 1.73x faster (-42%)

Me: Whoa, how?!
So, I proceed to write microbenches for every step. Except the JSON decoding, (1.7x faster was at least twice as slow (in one case, one hundred times slower) when tested individually.
The combination of them was faster. Huh.

By this point, I was all "sign me up!", but... asyncpg (the only sane PostgreSQL driver for python IMO, using prepared statements by default and such) has some of it's functionality written in C, for performance reasons. Not Cython, actual C that links to CPython. That means no PyPy support.

Okay then.

Starts search and replace.
Trys to replace a type in the whole Project.

Syntax Check: lol no, apparently everything is broken now, good job

(literally my whole project was marked red)
Reverts changes
(project still marked red)

Syntax Check: lol what? Your code already looked like shit before, won't let you compile this.

It was a bug which breaks the syntax check after big replace requests. Had to start a new project and copy my code step for step, so it didn't break again. However I've forgotten to replace the type before I copy...

Another story regarding this shit:
Renames Variable
IDE: oh, let me help you by replacing all old var names with the new one
Agrees
IDE: oh shoot, didn't know it could break things
Wants to revert
IDE: did you think I would go through this mess again?! Do it yourself!

1) git init
2) organize the structure of the project and check what features you need
3) google the name of the features and search a module that solves it
4) follow the module's tutorial step by step
5) compile the code
6) notice it doesn't work
7) StackOverflow, github, Quora, emails with insults to developers, parcel posts with bombs, try suicide
8) ascertain you could have spent all that time in funnier or more productive tasks
9) right click on project -> delete
10) forget the previous experience
11) goto 1

Bruh, I tried so many times to explain a problem that something I could have done in 2 days stretched over a month.

The point was to give them a chance to learn and get familiar with the programming language we use. This task was supposed to have no have no deadline, but it's been too long, so now there's a deadline and the work so far was so unsatisfactory, that I'm rewriting it myself, despite having 3 upcoming deadlines on top the fact that our best engineer will not be there for the next week, just because someone doesn't have the ability to think themselves, even though receiving higher education, even though I always lend them an ear and personally guide them, going as far as giving them a step by step guide, just to be greeted with a something wrong after days of no asking for help, followed by days where I need to explain <20 lines of code for literal hours in hopes they learn how to think for themselves.

Also, I don't know when to finish a sentence

Got a new job and I'm moving from academia to industry. Decided to step up my web dev game by using Netlify and GatsbyJS to build a static site blog.

Not a difficult task but it forces me to look at more current technologies.

I've posted about this a little in the past but.. my situation is that I got hired by a company as a developer, it turns out it was a lead dev role and they some how believe that I'm a one man army that's gonna finish a really huge web application started by another dev that left the company (apparently out of frustration from what I'm gathering in code comments and other employees)

All of this needs to be done in four months. I have never written a web application from the ground up and have always been subordinant to more competent developers. The team I with speaks mostly French and I can't help but notice the ever increasing social, communication, and cultural divides, being ostracized by people that I need support from because they don't speak great English has been frustrating to say the least. People have taken a step back in other areas which has me concerned they might be wanting to axe me cause I'm not making enough progress. Helppppppp

Client wants me to document the updated patch in the system... In detail. I just want to upgrade their server memory but noooooo. They want me to detail it all in step-by-step, including change impact, description task, expected time duration, back-out plan.

The first time I had to do this, it was cute. But now it's FUCKING ANNOYING ON HOW DETAIL THEY WANT ME TO PUT IN!!!

Client: "OK, so you wanna upgrade the server memory. What do you need to bring into the data centre?"
Me: "Just my laptop. I'm just configuring your underutilised server memory and upgrade it."
Client: "Good. Put that in the document, including your laptop serial #, make and model."
Me: *Screaming internally*

serious question: in what FUCKING case would i need to use DevOps engineering and custom backend custom frontend AWS azure gcp cloud providers etc if all that bullshit can be avoided and the same performant software can be crafted in 1 single framework -- nextjs?????

all of that bullshit looks like WAY overengineered, marketing-bloated BULLSHIT so bozos can buy more yachts off ur fucking dumbass cloud provider usage.

how is nextjs so powerful that u dont need any of those shits?

beyond me

the only time i see all of this overengineered shit makes sense is if u work on a large corporation software such as bank

then sure.

but chances are if u freelance or build ur own side project

ur NOT gonna fucking need to overengineer all of that cowshit

i literally had to take a step back for several weeks to unbrainwash myself by jeff bozos megacorp

and realize all these megacorps lure u into bullshit

keep it fucking simple you fucking fags and stop feeding the money hungry corps

u dont need a fucking gigazillion complexity software

Can i just get a simple consistent react tutorial that goes step by step even when consuming an API...

IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK FOR?

i think we're experiencing the downsides of a decadent civilization without the decadence heh however much sense that makes.

we're not really progressing or evolving we're on the path of gradual stagnation an de-evolution.

I tell you getting rid of these gross fucks would be a nice step in the right direction. I used to think like hillbillies and the like were gross. Well I don't really want to go into this again, but how to make people want to learn and want to live instead of just forcing everyone to just wait till they die and fooling dumb young people into thinking this is somehow going to benefit them continuously because its the lesser of two unnecessary evils ?

Its like trying to fix a hive mind with one wrench, you can only brain part of it the rest remains.

I just listened to the same oddly convincing fake jesus people speak about their day, before wandering by their poor younger coworkers or victims or whatever they were.

Spent 4 fucking weeks trying to implement this motherfucking feature and in the end after 15 failed implementations it turns out that my first implementation was good. Turns out this other devs fucking feature had a bug (he forgot to add two lines to clear current state and to update current state again). Motherfucker.

Took me over 100 hours to debug that piece of shiet spaghetti codebase and I had to go through grief stages few times to the point where I started questioning my own damn ability

Sometimes it sucks not being able to go step by steap and think in a linear way. I guess if I followed the breadcrumbs I would have solved it sooner. But poking around things and trying out random solutions was like going through a maze blindfolded until I got it right but I guess thats how my brain works.

I have spent the last 2 days on the phone trying to get support for certain issues...

- Amazon
- Quickbooks
- CRA

It is universal that all support lines are complete garbage. Shitholes for stupid people to get paycheques.

I have noticed that this task has actually had a negative impact on the emotional state and it upsets me further that I have allowed this.

I am getting a virtual assistant to handle this because frankly, my time is too valuable to be consistently wasted by stupid people delivering no results.

"I am a software engineer and have tried all the normal debugging techniques"

"Did you try restarting it?"

"Yes, that was the first thing I did..."

"Well, would you mind doing it again"

"Yup... It did not work"

"Hmmmmm....."

5 minutes of silence...

"Have you tried the next step that you already read on our support site"

"Yes!"

"Could you try it again for me?"

"FFFFUUUUUCCCCKKKK YYYOOOOOUUUUUU!!!!"

I am literally listening to someone who is reading the god damn support page (and reading it at what seems to be a 3rd-grade level) GREAT!!!!

There are billionaires/millionaires who get asked almost the same question -> "What would you advise for a beginner?" and they usually say some BS answer like -> "Wake up early. Read books. Workout" etc. And they get clowned on for giving out "generic" advices.

But I think, they do it on purpose. Like, think about it. If I make a billion dollars tomorrow, (somehow), why would I lay out step by step to you, on how I did it? Why would I increase competition for myself by giving you "real" advice?

So they will never reveal what they did to get where they are, whether it is joining an elite cult, selling their soul to the devil or just keeping the business active. We will only get generic advices because it's an easy cop-out.

Caused an outage on production because of a bug in the make file that hasn't been fixed for years. It hasn't been fixed because everyone knows to side step it. Except for me. Unit now. So the bug shall continue to live until the next newbie gets smacked in the face by it.
Kinda feels like an initiation.

Finally accepted as telematics lab. assistant

Had to go to 30 years old initiation tradition by drinking 'The Drink' before getting lab. full access

Full Recipe: Mineral water, instant coffee, vanilla milk, cola, banana, pineapple, apple, melons, cup ramen, peanuts, snickers, m&m, potato chips, nata de coco.

Step:
1. Shove it all to blender
2. Blend
3. Bon Appetit

Hello everyone!I need to see some opinion you guys might have.

I'm a self-taught everything about Computer, I've been trying to learn to develop software and games for a while now, was able to gather some information in a bunch of directions, but never was able be able to ACTUALLY develop anything by myself without the help of a step by step guide. Which stop me from program things and not copy pasta. I know that i seem to like how C works, since it have less features that confuse me (IMO of course)

So my question is: What kind of small projects would you recommend me to do other than calculators to help me figure out how we actually program something?

PS: I know python, C, a little bit of C++ and C#.

(heading)How a programming language is created? Because I want to make my own.(heading)

I am learning C and next I will learn C++, SQL,DS&A, Assembley, Lex&Yacc,Operating Systems, Computer Arcticture, Computer Networks because I think it's enough for my goal. The only reason I am learning this, to make my own C++ clone with my own knowledge. But I really don't know how can I create my own programming language like C++ from scratch. Like what are the first steps to began with. As I know that C, first step is Preprocessor then Compiler then Assembler then (Loader/Linker).

Anyone please give me a step by step guide like learn this language first then this then this. So I can finally reach that amount of knowledge which I can implement to create my own programming language like C++.

!rant
is pre-debugging a good thing?
I have a habit of implementing a project(for e.g. a mobile app) like this: See the project, break the tasks to be done into small parts(Like UI layouts- setting, listeners to implement , graphics involved, background threads required, databases necessary, etc.)and then code each of them step by step , while simultaneously testing their working (For all possible test cases I could think of ) side - by side. this results in my project getting developed in far more time than other people, but I always have something good and working all times to show to my bosses.But I really feel stupid when I spend 2 hours handling the animations and ui while I have yet to look into databases and other more important stuff

I guess that's a habit from my good old python days(its IDLE was a playstation for me) but I wish to know better approaches,if any?

Hey kids, do you want to know what's cool and hip?

Writing scripts to formalize and encode domain specific procedures related to development and sharing it within the entire team is cool!

Readmes with step-by-step guides are highly overrated.

Don't you love it when your in a class, let's say a Web Dev 1 class at a community college, and your surrounded by classmates that are completely computer illiterate and have to help them every step of the way, including reminding them what git clone does