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80% of coding is just staring at the code thinking about how to implement a particular feature into the code...6
-
How it should be:
- First: solve the problem
- Second: Write your code.
How many people do:
- First: Write code
- Second: solve code problems
- Third: Adapt code with requirements
- Forth: get lost on your spaghetti code
- Sixth: make a suicide8 -
So I was code reviewing this guy's code before merging into the master branch.... and then I FOUND THIS FUCKING CODE, WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the fuck is this ???
66 -
No-code platforms always like to forget that writing the code is *literally* the easiest part of software development 🙄15
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Been 2+ years and still getting +1s on it. Either people are digging up their feeds too deep or devRant's content discovery is just too good. xD
13 -
I sometimes write code by first putting comments and then writing the code.
Example
#fetch data
#apply optimization
#send data back to server
Then i put the code in-between the comments so that i can understand the flow.
Anyone else has this habit?18 -
After opening the legacy code and finding out that the entire shit has 15000+ LOC and without proper comments
3 -
Debugging someone else's code and having the thought: "Am I better off just writing the code again from the start?!"6
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Guys! It's 'code' NOT 'codes'.
I check the newbie's code. [correct]
I check the newbie's codes. [not correct]
Programmers write 'code'. It's an uncountable noun so we cannot pluralize it.
Spies use 'codes'.15 -
Advice that I give to interns/grads:
In uni/college, you're taught *how* to code something to achieve a goal, and 99% of the time the code will work and do the job in a lab.
But when building things for a real production environment, you learn the 100 ways how *not* to code, from seeing things break left right and centre - basically everything and anything can break your code, whether it is users, the OS, other people's code, legacy code, lag, concurrency, the alignment of the moon to your server...5 -
the actual code is way more than that . Is there anyone who adds the code but doesn't remove the code that isn't necessary
7 -
I’m surrounded by idiots.
I’m continually reminded of that fact, but today I found something that really drives that point home.
Gather ‘round, everybody, it’s story time!
While working on a slow query ticket, I perused the code, finding several causes, and decided to run git blame on the files to see what dummy authored the mental diarrhea currently befouling my screen. As it turns out, the entire feature was written by mister legendary Apple golden boy “Finder’s Keeper” dev himself.
To give you the full scope of this mess, let me start at the frontend and work my way backward.
He wrote a javascript method that tracks whatever row was/is under the mouse in a table and dynamically removes/adds a “.row_selected” class on it. At least the js uses events (jQuery…) instead of a `setTimeout()` so it could be worse. But still, has he never heard of :hover? The function literally does nothing else, and the `selectedRow` var he stores the element reference in isn’t used elsewhere.
This function allows the user to better see the rows in the API Calls table, for which there is a also search feature — the very thing I’m tasked with fixing.
It’s worth noting that above the search feature are two inputs for a date range, with some helpful links like “last week” and “last month” … and “All”. It’s also worth noting that this table is for displaying search results of all the API requests and their responses for a given merchant… this table is enormous.
This search field for this table queries the backend on every character the user types. There’s no debouncing, no submit event, etc., so it triggers on every keystroke. The actual request runs through a layer of abstraction to parse out and log the user-entered date range, figure out where the request came from, and to map out some column names or add additional ones. It also does some hard to follow (and amazingly not injectable) orm condition building. It’s a mess of functional ugly.
The important columns in the table this query ultimately searches are not indexed, despite it only looking for “create_order” records — the largest of twenty-some types in the table. It also uses partial text matching (again: on. every. single. keystroke.) across two varchar(255)s that only ever hold <16 chars — and of which users only ever care about one at a time. After all of this, it filters the results based on some uncommented regexes, and worst of all: instead of fetching only one page’s worth of results like you’d expect, it fetches all of them at once and then discards what isn’t included by the paginator. So not only is this a guaranteed full table scan with partial text matching for every query (over millions to hundreds of millions of records), it’s that same full table scan for every single keystroke while the user types, and all but 25 records (user-selectable) get discarded — and then requeried when the user looks at the next page of results.
What the bloody fucking hell? I’d swear this idiot is an intern, but his code does (amazingly) actually work.
No wonder this search field nearly crashed one of the servers when someone actually tried using it.
Asdfajsdfk.21 -
I've written a lot of bad code, seen a lot, but attached is the most recent 'worst' I've seen.
What makes the situation worse/funny is:
1. The developer's code comment.
2. Check-in passed a code review.
3. The 'legacy code' was written last week.
29 -
Mastering git has become the best thing ever. I feel like a real code monkey. Swinging from branch to branch. Eating all the bug-eeee eeee ahhhhh oooh aaaaaaAAHHHHHH!2
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How to fix an error?
Just comment out the code in the actual framework which throws the error, than fixing your code.😂😂
4 -
"Any fool can write code that a computer can understand.
Good programmers write code that humans can understand."
— Martin Fowler,
Refactoring: Improving the Design of Existing Code6 -
Today I got my programming test back. 50/50 points. I only deserved 40 of them, since I wrote horrible code, so I told the teacher "I don't understand my points." His reply: "I also don't understand." I was laughing for at least 5 minutes 😂8
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Do the 'best' programmers use fewest lines of code?
The best programmers write the appropriate number of lines of code. No more, no less.10 -
When you've spent 16 hours out of 24 programming and realise that you've not eaten, drunk, or even pooped. Well, that just happened5
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!rant
My girlfriend sat on my lap the other day when I was helping a friend of mine with some assembly code. She look at the code an said
What are you doing?
I explained the code and said that is the lowest you can get before machine code. She didn't run away in fear....
This is a great sign...6 -
99 bugs in the code. 99 bugs in the coooode. Squish one out, patch it around. 128 bugs in the code.4
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Code review, here the simplified version. What the fuck has to be wrong with someone who seriously codes the first variant in production code?!
19 -
A week in code:
Mon: Write all the code💻
Tue: Review all the code🔍
Wen: Fix all the broken code🔴
Thurs: Deploy🚢
Fri: Review all the code🔬4 -
For an ostensibly security-focused financial company, these people really don't know what they're doing. Everything I've seen thus far is so hacked-together that I feel like i'm looking at code written by high schoolers.
Seriously, some of API Guy's code is better than this.
And they even make a point to remind me of ultra basics like `.to_a`, `.map`, or "a good command to keep on hand is `rake db:migrate`" -- like seriously? Those are in bloody "Intro to Rails" tutorials (and it's `rails db:migrate` as of Rails 5). For an ostensibly all-senior team, these devs are awfully junior.5 -
How to Code...
“Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live”
― John Woods2 -
Comment the "why", not the "what". If your code needs comments to explain what it does, rewrite the code (use good, descriptive identifiers).3
-
I built a feature. I asked questions for days. Nobody helped. I built it anyway, and while I'm not sure it's quite right, it works.
During a code review, I asked for clarification on who the fuck it's for. Simple fucking question. Didn't get an answer. I did get the same crap response twice, though. It's great because it both doesn't answer my question and makes things worse.
Let's refer to this as "branding." Here we go!
------
Root: "Should this be changed to blue? I'm not sure who the end-user is."
TC: "should be purple, then call it something more convenient" (...what?)
Root: "Better phrasing: if we use the feature, it should match our colors and be blue. If customers use it, it should match their colors and be red. It shouldn't be both. I looked through everything again, and i'm convinced that it's only for us, so it should be blue so it matches everything."
TC: "this should be purple, and then call it something [sic] red" (...what!? also: lolcopypaste)
------
But like, that's wrong in every single way. It's internal, not external. Doing both makes it confusing. Doing both and calling it external is fucking stupid. Did she even read the PR? or any of my questions? ugh.
I swear, it's like arguing with a boulder and expecting it to listen. An ugly, oversized boulder that comically resembles Jabba the Hutt. No joke.
Whatever, it can be purple. Later, if someone complains that it's confusing, I'll just link them to the damned PR. Then again, almost everything here is confusing AF, so I doubt anyone will actually notice.
Screw this place. So glad I'm on my way out.6 -
Got a marketing email talking about the "No Code" revolution. They're talking to the wrong girl here.
12 -
I accidently used the wrong language to code in... So I had to port my code over to the right one.8
-
This morning I kept falling back asleep after the alarm went off, drifting in and out of a dream about programming.
My wife finally said "no more sleeping".
Still mostly sleep, I replied very confidently "you can't sleep in a sandbox!".
I was dreaming I was in a code sandbox. Obviously sleeping is not allowed.
Jeez, my head has been really full of programming since this conference. (One of the talks was on codesandbox). -
Just tested my GPU code vs my non-GPU code.
Its a simple game of life implementation. My test is on a 80 x 40 grid running for 100,000 cycles.
The normal code took 117 seconds.
The CUDA code took 2 seconds.
Holy fuck this is terrifying.3 -
The superhuman feeling of going back to your code after a week and it all makes perfect sense, the variable names are intuitive, the doc strings are comprehensive, and the general codebase structure is sensible.2
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that moment when u run the code and it works, and then u run the very same code again and it fails.4
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My code be like:
"Call the method cronk...
WROOOONG MEEEETTTTHHHOOOODDDD!!!
Why do we even have that method "2 -
When you've to explain normal people that you're a dev and not a hacker and so you can't just hack into their ex's Facebook account like it's some magic trick.3
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Hi, guys after a building a website (code from scratch) do you give the source code to the client 🤔?11
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"Pasting code from the Internet into production code is like chewing gum found in the street." - unknown3
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git commit -m "fixed bug where div wasn't resizing with window size change. Next I'll work on new bug which makes it so the pages won't load at all"
3 -
*finishes university exams*
*gets to code after a long time*
*cannot remember what the code does that was written a few weeks back*
Fuck 😓3 -
Computer: Please check your authenticator app to login
Phone: Please fill in the code you see on the screen
Computer: * No code *
Me: * presses the "I can't see the code" button *
Phone: Prompt goes away, 3 seconds later it asks for thr code again
Computer: No changes
I love Microsoft at my job4 -
My code!
Looking at the previous version of my code, pushes me to write a better one! All the time!1 -
Every time I look at some code and say "what the hell?!" the code refactors itself before my very eyes.2
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When it's dark outside all the time and the sun suddenly comes around.
Everyone's going crazy about it and walking outside.
Me: FUCK. How am I supposed to read my freakin code like that?!
*Me standing up and closing the shutter*1 -
Am i the only one who is so sensitive about indentation? It really pisses me off when i see code with bad levels of indentation because it completely overtakes my years of programming experience and i understand nothing. Also indentation level should be 4, not 2. Who the hell uses 2 level indentation, you don't deserve a keyboard.9
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Devs are known to give up quickly especially beginners...all I can say to them is..
...there is nothing like smooth mountains, you have to go through the ragged edges and valley's to get to the top...
Don't stop Coding... and dont give up.1 -
When your sysadmins can't script a file compare and so you do the code for them.
"Sorry but we can't run unknown code on the server"
Read the code then you vile troglodytes!3 -
"Awwww I remember when I started to code :)"
That is for condescension when looking at shit code or:
"Wait, you code?"
For the same case1 -
Why do otherwise intelligent people think chatgpt code is a good idea if they don't know what the code does?
I am a bit in shock by this prospect. I asked about some lines of code that was using some templates I had not used before. The response was "I dunno, chatgpt." This person is really really smart. Yet deploying code that they don't understand completely. This seems dangerous and irresponsible. I ended up rewriting the function I had questions about. It was significantly shorter and didn't do a fuckton of copying strings around.
WTF is wrong with people? Are people afraid to think? Now I want to get out before this kind of shit becomes the norm.13 -
Remember the time when someone appreciated your code and praised the implementation, said that your code was better??
Yeah, neither do I.1 -
The best part about being a teaching assistant in programming is the ability to bitch about bad code.
The worst part is all the bad code...2 -
# Showing code so everyone knows it's the same code/file being executed.
Interesting in the difference of the time it takes.
8 -
1 little bug in the code
1 little bug in the code
put a little ; in now
compile it around
991 little BUGS IN THE CODE1 -
The other week, our coffee machine broke. No code was written.
Today, coffee machine broke. No code written.
Think I found the secret ingredient to writing code!2 -
Be me...
Coding and refactoring...
Very focused...
Until...
.
..
…
….
METALLICA COMING TO AUSTRALIA 🤘🤘🤘
….
..
..
.
Forgot what I was doing... But I know what I will be doing next week... GETTING THOSE VIP TICKETS 🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘🤘2 -
No matter how much documentation you write, and how well you comment the code, the truth is always the code itself.17
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Meeting yesterday:
Senior E: "Man, every time I do code review I thought this is the stupidest code ever written - then I look at the author, oh wait it's me"
Me: "Well, the perfect code is the code never gets written"
SE: "Casting appreciative look with a nod" -
Time taken to modify the code : 10 minutes
Time taken searching the code to understand where to put the modification : 1/2 day
Viva VB6!2 -
The more someone talks about how code should be "self documenting" the less likely their code is to actually be "self documenting"5
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Nothing against managers, but this rings so true!
"The programmer who refuses to keep exploring will surely stagnate, forget his joy, lose the will to program (and become a manager)" -- Marijn Haverbeke. Quote taken from this book
Credit: https://twitter.com/nixcraft/... -
Client code:
neat, organized easy to interpret
Server code:
da fuq is this? da fuq is that? what does this do?
People who cant see the code:
client's
People who can see the code:
THE GUY WHO IS WORKING ON THE SERVER!4 -
Copy-Pasting code from the StackOverflow into production code is like chewing gum found on the street. 🙄1
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When code is already working and reversed engineer to compare how efficient the current vs previous code. Now, blames self when prev code is an unorthodox code. ^_^1
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There's no easier way to make a developer want to be productive than to stick him or her into business meetings.2
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Here's me sitting in the exam thinking all about my code I wrote the previous night. Suddenly brain strikes that I forgot to pass one function somewhere in the code. So I submitted my paper and left to debug the code.
Code ran but I failed in the exam :D :P -
I came to this company. I saw spaghetti code. I told myself to write clean code and also clean the existing code. I took too much pressure for too little return. I am done with this shit. I will now write clean code but fuck the old spaghetti code!2
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100% of the code defects from a recent code review are from code copied from elsewhere in the codebase.1
-
Code comments #1: A way to document bad code that wasn't reduced to it's essentials and thus unreadable. Bad.
Code comments #2: A way to explain for non-programmers how the code works. Wrong place.
Code comments #3: Company policy. No one really knows why, but others do that, so we better do it to. The management sucks.
Code comments #4: Because some hip methodology/guru describes how to document code. After a few years, when the methodology has been (unofficially) forgotten, everyone still comments the code the same way. The old management sucked.
Code comments 5#: For insecure programmers who want to convince them self they understand the code they've written. Maybe apply at McDo?
Code comments #6: Some programmers are apparently paid by lines of code. Possibly understandable.
// Comments, anyone?8 -
Overwhelmed by a shitty codebase? Use the boy scout rule and leave the code you're editing a little better than you found it.
Worked wonders for me when I realized I could spend literal months refactoring and desperately needed a systematic approach.
Little by little that rotting house of cards will turn into something okay. It's a nice feeling looking back after a couple of months and see what you've done to make things better.
Also, make sure to remember the cost of wrestling with hurried legacy solutions in your estimates as well. Just adjust the level of bluntness depending on your work environment: admitting that things can/need to be improved can be unpleasant for some to hear even though it's true.5 -
Developers brains need sleep... Something I learnt the hard way today.
I still won't... 😳 , To much to do 😎8 -
When you find another student code..... it repeats the same code for the LCD in 340 lines of if ;-)
1 -
you motherfucking cocksucking ass wipes.
How fucking hard is it for you JS cockheads to have STABLE fucking code?
So hear I am, thinking through a side project for data extraction and loading to automate some shitty part of my job, that could be used by the broader team... and decide to use electron.... I know it's a clusterfuck, but this wouldn't be a big application, so against my better judgement I run:
npm install electron
npm start
...
Error: unknown spawn
🤷♂️ you had 1 fucking job... 1 fucking lousy shit stain of a job, and you can't even have something run out of the god foresaken box without someone debugging your shit.
Now who has a WORKING alternative to electron?10 -
Spaghetti Code, Spaghetti Code.
Flush it right down the commode,
Spins a call graph, unreadable size,
Anyone who sees it cries.
Look out, here comes the Spaghetti Code!
2 -
Don’t you hate it when people completly overcomplicates code?
The bottom one is my edit of the code.
7 -
So the devRant stickers are finally here all the way from USA. Thanks devRant for these. Absofuckinglutely loved them. 😍
#devrant #developer #humour #android
1 -
copied a code for android from stackoverflow and it worked
edited the code no more works
removed the code and pasted the original code from stackoverflow and still doesnt work
clean and build and now the code starts to work7 -
99 little bugs in the code, 99 little huge, take on down, patch it around, 157 little bugs in the code
-
That moment when you go to YouTube for a configuration or code tutorial and have to wait for 5 seconds to view a WIX.com ad... FML4
-
Typical code life?
1. Write rough comments
2. Write more detailed comments
3. Write pseudo code
4. Write semi-working but definitely ugly code
5. Write working but very ugly code
6. Refactor the code to be nicer, check for patterns, bottlenecks and other bits and pieces
7. Push to git the "final" code
8. After few months blame whoever wrote the code
9. Refactor all the things!
---
This happened in my career more than once and still - it seems like the best option out there to get things done. What do you guys think? Should something be added/removed from this? Is this over-complicated or what?2 -
developer: *deploying spaghetti code to production*
hacker: *alters the code with an injection*
developer:
2 -
Copy and paste a piece of code from stackoverflow without having the trouble to understand the code3
-
Fine don't take my suggestion during refactoring old code. Keep the python code over 100 lines of code...we could have cut it in half, but whatever
-
This is from “The boys”, any idea what language this suppose to be 🤣 (or maybe it exists and I’m a freaking ignorant) 🧐
8 -
That feeling when you saw your code and says "I can certainly code better". Took the day to refactor and felt satisfied with the code now. I feel awesome muahahah
-
I was looking for a solution in some piece of code for half an hour but then I had to go. I took a photo of the code with my phone and then figured out the solution while I was on the bus :D5
-
just saw a production level code, all the fucking variables in the code are in capital letters🤪😵😵😵2
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-*sleeping frustated cause of code errors*
brain: hey, wake up! I think I know the solution of that code
-*wake up at 4 am*
-*do the code*
-*get more errors*
Fuck this life1 -
99 little bugs in the code
99 little bugs
Take one down and pass it around
127 little bugs in the code2 -
❤️ Swift ❤️
Compiling fails due to many inter-dependent errors (think database deadlocks).
1 - Comment the code that produces the "locking" error.
=> Code compiles.
2 - Uncomment the code that produces the "locking" error.
=> Code compiles.
My peepee hard5 -
Hypothetical Question:
Write a complex code to make it efficient Or
Write a simple code so that the next developer who works on it understands the code easily.10 -
Reviewing the code of my then new CTO, who said "I can also code and have experience in Java" - 50 lines of code, I added over 30 comments to his Pull Request. In the end, I rewrote his complete code.2
-
Steps to becoming one with your code:
1.Get red lamps and make em trippy asf.
2.Syntax color the shit out of your editor.
3.Install activate-power-mode
4.Get high or tipsy
5.Listen to surround psytrance
6.Code
Congratulations you are now in a higher level of existence. You are one with your code and your will is root.
*Disclaimer: Marnsghol is not responsible for any: Injury, death, damage to personal or company property, losing job, getting arrested and/or efficiency problems in work environment. Discretion is advised*3 -
Friend’s code:
var monkey=77;
Go(monkey);
The worst thing in the world is reading someone’s uncommented code ...3 -
"Pull the lever cronk
...
WROOOOOOOONNNNNGGGGG LEVVVVVVEEEERRRRRRRR"
*some time later*
"Why do we even have that lever"
^^^ my code be like -
When you hack up some spaghetti code which works right off the bat and you don't even know why but you take it for granted anyways. Week later someone tells you that it's not working anymore and you have to find out why.3
-
Going through legacy or other developers code which don't have documentation or even comments. Plus the author of the code is not working in same organisation anymore to consult. We have to understand the code like deciphering any ancient language. 😥2
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99 little bugs in the code, 99 bugs in the code, 1 bug fixed...compile again, 100 little bugs in the code. 🐞
-
My eyes hurt everytime our backend guy gives me a new REST API to implement in our app and always the formatting of the json is something like this. Like why can't you just fucking format it properly so I won't have to look at my code and feel disappointed for writing such ugly code. All because your lazy ass didn't care to understand the fundamentals of how json objects and arrays work !!! It's been a month since I've joined this company and I'm tired of explaining why we should use the status code for failure checking and not this stupid pass/fail status flag. I don't even remember how many times I've brought it up but everytime I get reasons like "Dude, you know what our server is never going to go down or fail so it doesn't even matter". And at that point I feel like I shouldn't even argue with him anymore.
3 -
code code and code. There's no better way to learn other than practicing the material learned from docs.1
-
So there is a 50/50 chance I am getting flamed af tomorrow during code review because of my branching/merging actions on thursday and friday... Merge conflicts... We all love them...3
-
Found this beautiful piece of code, that I wrote apparently a year ago .... oh my 😂 🤦♂ 😅
If I could travel back in time, I would would slap myself for doing this. Although I remember, why I did this, because of many min()/max() operations that I needed. I wanted to keep the code, so that I would know, which code piece belonged to which part, but man ... is that badly written! Nowadays with Clean Code style, I would certainly do it differently.
7 -
code not working?
comment code and try to run
uncomment piece by piece
code back to original
running...
apparently, the code didn't know it was right3 -
note: it is already dec. 23 in here
testers and another integration team are working for an urgent deliverable.
they just called, asking if i can come to the office and complete my code so they can use it as a basis/reference to theirs.
wtf1 -
I'm looking at old code that I wrote around half a year ago, and noticed that my coding style changed over time (relying more on arguments to pass messages between commands and functions, rather than sourcing the result of a command). I feel like this old code isn't truly mine anymore. It's thousands upon thousands of lines of code though... Given that, would you rewrite it or just move along with the existing design? I mean in my opinion the current code really sucks.4
-
Read the fucking code! Stop asking questions that could be answered if you spent 5 minutes reading the code.5
-
Fifty little bugs jumping in the code,
One tracked down and dev started to code,
Developer called the compiler,
And the compiler said
Hundred more bugs (& errors) found in the code
-
> do you feel sorry for freelancing contractors
> whose previous client abandoned them
> they ask you to help them fix some trivial bugs in the shitty code
> you believe you can change the world by going overboard by also improving the code quality, along with fixing the bugs
> initialize an empty file where you'll translate the shitty code into a more organized one
> start creating variables and generic functions which can be used in a modular and organized fashion
> meticulously document the first function you write
> realize this is not worth your time
> insert some glue code into the original code which fixes the trivial bugs
> glue code has hard coded values so it adds to the shittiness of the code
> submit the work
> get $$$ -
Work rant :
I once had a code review and remembered I forgot to comment my code and said sorry I forgot to comment it out.
The reply I got?
Don't worry, here we say your code should be readable enough and no comments are required.
Im still amazed, like... Even if the code is readable, fuck this I need a tl;Dr comment for the long ass fucking code... What the fuck5 -
Dijkstra said if debugging it's the art of remove the bugs from the code, programming must be the art of putting bugs in the code.1
-
I'm going through a rough time in my relationship, switching my job next month and moving to a new place because I didn't have shit to do at my current job and I just always felt like I was wasting my time at this job. I've been feeling very low and unsatisfied with my life over the past few months. It feels as if I'm constantly abusing myself in my mind, comparing myself to my older self and my past when things were better both professionally and personally for me. I don't feel motivated to work on my personal projects or learn anything new. I don't know what to do anymore or where to get motivation from. It almost feels like the part inside of me which I liked the most is dead. I don't understand what's wrong with me.4
-
Learn to refactor your code constantly. You are not writing code for yourself. Think about the next person who has to look at your code.1
-
Need to work on a web application from 2002... the code is a mess. Whats the oldest code you worked on?
5 -
Looking through a former developer's drive for their projects folder is kind of like a treasure hunt, only you don't get something good at the end of it usually.
Especially when there's a good reason they're a "former" developer.
Non-standard locations.
Behold, latest deployed code changes are uncommitted.
Alcohol, please save me.2 -
I'm writing c# code, does not work, wrote the same code in python just to see if I'm thinking the wrong way, nope, it worked in python then fixed the c# code...
I might be a c# racist or I don't know.2 -
Experienced programmer:
Code works in head; code almost works in computer; code never works with client.
Beginner programmer:
Code almost works in head; code never works in computer; code will never work with client.
Long story short: it's hard to begin but when you let the code flow, you became a programmer -
When the code is so bad that fixing one thing breaks 10 other things because the code was made to work with broken code.3
-
The signs as programming brackets
Scorpio, Aries, Sagittarius, Libra, Pisces, Cancer:
function () {
// code
}
Taurus, Virgo, Leo, Gemini, Aquarius, Capricorn:
function ()
{
// code
}
Ophiuchus:
function () { // code }9 -
One of the best feelings is when you're hip deep in code refactoing and you're delezing old code with your new and shiny code.
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Goals:
-> Write clean code
-> Never trust the code
-> Never use PHP
-> Stop procastinating
-> Stop ranting3 -
the best part of Python is that while debugging others code you don't have to beg to indent the code :32
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Lesson of the day:
<If a section of your code keeps on bringing errors, just comment it. The code is likely to work./>4 -
Those users who'll post reviews for your app on the store in their native Indonesian, German, Arabic or whatever languages automatically assuming that you're a polyglot and you can understand everything. Why not just use English?5
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The code will not:
* bad-mouth
* lie
* let down
* abuse
* cheat
* bully
* kill
* run away
The code brings people together no matter if someone has the brain power of protozoa or is the next Euclid. The code is pure with a passive buff to become as perfect as possible. It's the new math for the future world. The code is love, the code is life.
That's why I love (to) code. And you?2 -
And this boys and girls,
Is how you start doing less work - apparently.
GitHub
Welcome to GitHub Copilot Technical Preview!
We’re thrilled to invite you to start testing GitHub Copilot. Your feedback will help us make it even better.
😎2 -
When having to fix parts from an other programmer's code, do NOT concentrate on the small code expected to be wrong, instead read and understand the whole program around it!
Best practice:
1) Why is this code here
2) What does this code do
3) How does the code solve the problem
(just happened to me 😅) -
The catharsis of deleting code that is difficult to read, clashing with the agony of deleting code that was difficult to write.9
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Literally came across the third line of code and made this meme.
To top it off, the if statement looked like this:
if ([that ugly code])
{ //it is
...
}
This is coding at its finest....
2 -
Worst argument/fight was on a game I was working on.
One of the other devs was waiting for me to write some server Code before calling the endpoints on the client.
After writing the server Code I added the client side Code and committed it to our repo.
They had a massive go at me for doing work for them and threatened to remove my Code and replace it with their own code. -
https://news.mit.edu/2022/...
"Based on the patterns of brain activity that were observed, the group could tell whether someone was evaluating a piece of code involving a loop or a branch. The researchers could also tell whether the code related to words or mathematical symbols, and whether someone was reading actual code or merely a written description of that code."1 -
Me coding in swift:
func doStuff() {
// code
}
"oh I see the code isn't working yet. Let me try this"
func doStuff() {
DispatchQueue.main.async {
// code
}
}4 -
You either spend time organising the code even for a “small project” which “will never change” or cry at your mess one year later
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I don't have to get in to the zone as I'm in the zone all the time. I sleep and dream code, eat code, actually write code, workout code...3
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What is easy to code at the moment isnt necessarily the best code in the long run.
- From the dev currently maintaining spaghetties of spaghetti code -
Can someone suggest me a good Twitter client. Half of my feed is straight up garbage, filed with tweets from accounts I don't follow or ads. 80% of the accounts I follow are developers, yet more than half the posts I see are related to politics. Why!! just why!!??!!??
Also I wish more apps had chronogical sorting of posts like devrant. :/7 -
Had to port a python code some other guy wrote using opencv for some image processing stuff to Java. I thought "how tough can it be? Let's just try it out on python first just to verify the results", only to waste an entire fucking day trying to install opencv first and make it work and to add to it the crappy opencv documentation were no help. In the end I had to just give up on this shit and decide to just do the Java implementation which I later verified from the python guy's results.
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Our Swift teacher at college manually creates a Podfile for every project and copies and pastes the basic initialization from an existing project, pastes the cocoapod dependencies and then installs them using terminal instead of just doing a pod init and then using nano or vim to paste the dependencies right inside the terminal. These are the times I genuinely feel sad for the way Indian education system is and the way we're taught coding in colleges here.11
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Created a piece of code (code A). It didn't work.
Found a replacement on StackOverflow (code B), commented out my code A and tried the new one.
Everything seemed fine, deleted code A. Tried the app and it crashed.
Re-added the commented code, and the app started working again.
-_____________________-2 -
Something I hate about working in the team is that the code reviewer will stall the time and leave a lot of pull requests unreviewed. As more code changes more commits and more pull requests.
The code base is conflicting with each other, what the fuck? I hate this.5 -
Screw Joomla. And screw the agency that put together these sites. I'm almost impressed, I can only assume from the state of things that whoever worked on them has successfully created multiple websites by smashing their face into the keyboard and hoping for the best.1
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Change code here, 500
Revert and change code there, 403
Revert and change code at both the places, 404
Revert and have a Potato -
There was a time in class, I was sitting next to my friend while fixing a couple mistakes in my HTML, at some point he looked at my screen and said "there's a random nine right here"...
I looked at it, I stopped whatever I was doing and yelled "nein" after he said that, then proceeded to take out the number he was talking about.
I'm actually part German, so I have a /pretty/ good angry German voice... (and Scottish actually, if I'm just a bit annoyed, haha)3 -
Microsoft should have pre-install Visual Studio Code on Windows Platform rather then Code Writer. What is the purpose of Code Writer, anyone?11
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Why do all address forms (for the US) require the city, state, and zip code? Isn't the zip code enough? This always bothered me.4
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In what programming language, you love to code the most?
edge case: if you don't love to code, then skip the question13 -
This comes up when I search on Google 'what is code' lol this looks like a bob the builder remake all about code
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If I need 2 weeks to implement a new feature, I need at least one more week to find better solutions which make the code easier to read. Then I would like to spend yet another week to think about other solutions to make sure I can't find one that is even better..
I hardly ever get that time but when I do, I create something beautiful..
The last time I was able to reduce > 2000 lines of code to a about 50 lines generic service which is easily extendable and understandable.
Do you include stuff like this in your estimations? -
Damnit onion, this is a little on the nose. But hey, code complete is always worth reading.
https://theonion.com/hopefully-neig... -
Importing all libraries at once above the code VS importing libraries when u need them in the code4
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"Code"
And the website says "Lonely geeky people do need apply"
So I put my on my glasses and I went in to ask him why
He said you look like a fine outstanding young man, I think you'll do
So I shook his hand and, I said "I am glad I will be working for you."
Code, code, everywhere there's code
Neo vision, tweakin' my mind
Do code this, and API that, can't you read the fucking manual
And the sign says "If you want to use this site you must accept our cookies"
So I found the CEOs address and doxxed him all night!
To put up a dialog and block content from my sight.
If Todd was here, he'd tell it to your face, man, "it just works"
Code, code, everywhere there's code
Neo vision, tweakin' my mind
Do code this, and API that, can't you read the fucking manual
Oh, say now mister, can't you code
You got to have a laptop and a hoodie to get a job
You can't work, no you can't standup, you ain't supposed to be here
And the website says "You got to have an employee ID to get inside" - yo!
And the website says "Everybody welcome, come in, code and share"
But then they passed around a git pull at the end of it all
And I didn't have a character to code
So I got me laptop and I made up my own fuckin' code
I typed, "Thank you OSS for thinking 'bout me, I'm alive and doing fine", yeah
Code, code, everywhere there's code
Neo vision, tweakin' my mind
Do code this, and API that, can't you read the fucking manual
Code, code, everywhere there's code
Neo vision, tweakin' my mind
Do code this, and API that, can't you read the fucking manual
Yes! Some old song, called "Code code", I wish we did write that one, but
We didn't - git blame!
Hello World!6 -
That feeling when you find the god damn bug after 2 hours.. however, it made me better understand my code, so thank you tiny bug❤
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Anyone who wants to check out Enki, use the code below!
Invite Code: UZIIU169
The code is limited to three people!16 -
I had a discussion with my colleagues about my bachelor thesis.
Together we created within the last 18 month a REST-API where we use LDAP/LMDB as database (tree structured storage). Of course our data is relational and of course we have a high redundancy there. It's a 170 call API and I highly doubt that it's actually conforming REST.
Ensuring DB integrity is done in the backend and coding style there is "If we change it at one place, let's make sure to also change it everywhere else", so you get a good impression how much of spaghetti code we have there.
Now I proposed to code a solution in my bachelor thesis where we use a relational database (we even have an administrated Oracle DB with high availability) and have a write-only layer to also store the data in LDAP but my colleagues said that "it would add too much complexity to the system".
Instead I should write the relational layer myself and fetch the data somehow from the existing LDAP tree.
What the actual fuck, spaghetti code is what makes the system really unnecessarily complex so that no one will understand that code in 2 years.
Congratulations, you just created legacy code that went into production in 2018 while not accepting the opportunity to let that legacy code get eliminated.
Now good luck with running and maintaining that system and it's inconsistencies.1 -
Enjoy the lyrics to one of many songs of my favorite band Depeche Code - https://youtube.com/watch/...
Words like violence
Break the silence
Come crashing in
Into my little code
Painful to me
Fails right through me
Can't you understand?
Oh my little bug
All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my ARMs
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm
Lines are token
To be broken
Feelings are intense
Logs are trivial
Crashes remain
So does the pain
Words are meaningless
And less hackable
All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Is here in my ARMs
Words are very unnecessary
They can only do harm
Enjoy the silence -
PSD - Predictive software development:
Software development process where one predicts the behavior of the shit code in the library and writes code to handle it accordingly so that the aforementioned shot code doesn't barf and take down the entire system with it2 -
What does it take to build a good looking and responsive website?
I'm familiar with basic html, CSS, Javascript but every time I try using any js based framework I get confused as which one to use. Where to start. Any tips please?4 -
Before: why the hell my code isn't running?!! FML 😬
After: How and why the fuck is my code running!! -
When do you know your code is documented well?
If writing anything more besides your code feels absolutely unnecessary.2 -
Oh boy, I just made a class with 5 methods and 10111 lines.
I'm "proud" of myself
(It's kind of an autogenerated class for, but nah...)2 -
Facepalm of the day:
My coworkers commits third party libraries AND the source code of them. Of course, the source code is never used.1 -
Reading code and getting that face palm moment
String code = customer.getCode();
customer.setAccount("foo");
customer.setGroup("bar");
customer.setCode("new code");
Ok this is preparing the customer obj makes sence.
Some 20 lines later
customer.setCode(code);...... Wtf1 -
When people use comments for build configuration. And don't put down handy comments like "uncomment this if you want to do that".
I guess what I'm saying is that this "code cleanup" task is turning into a "code keep the bloated baseline" task.3 -
One of the most stupid phrases I hear again and again is "to not reinvent the wheel". Guess what, if no one had ever dared to take the first iteration of something, throw it out the window and start from scratch, we'd still be living in the stone age. If you're gonna use a library or a framework, fine, that's totally valid. Just make sure to actually understand the tools and code you're working on. People now tend to use these without knowing exactly what they do. And then once the original authors retire, no one knows what to do if something breaks. There can't be innovation if you don't try to reinvent. Don't shy away from writing from scratch sometimes.
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copied google's material design lite javascript code and the snackbar code from the official website but it doesnt work in localhost6
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It really irritates me when other engineers of various levels get hung up on pedantic, low hanging fruit bullshit in my merge requests. Like really, why keep a thread going just to force me to explain why I chose to make a particular magic string a constant that you don't see a use for? What about all the infrastructure setup code I spent 3 days on? Did you even read any of that to make sure it was sound and that my dumb/drunk/tired ass didn't make an obvious mistake, or could have done it better?2
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We need a running theme for topics that treat "the code" as if it is a living thing. Like we never stop to think about what The Code thinks about all this.1
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Surprise nobody says: read the documentation and possible the source code of the lang/framework/library/toolkit/etc. Understanding your code, how fits in the big picture and what you try to accomplish make your code better.
That explain why we have tough ops days ... -
The power to make clients trust my code.
It's a vicious circle; I code, client doesn't trust my code, I make changes as a result which break the code and.... Stack overflow exception -
Spent half a day working on some code to add some functionality. Ran into some binary assumptions and found workarounds. Got everything implemented and close to start testing things. Not a lot of code, but a lot of places that needed careful attention to detail. Started looking at the final code needed for initializing things. Found that all the code I wrote would not be needed if I just initialize some things differently. Realized I don't need all this code. The code is literally redundant.
git checkout <changed files>
Okay, now I understand the code better. I am ahead because I am not maintaining code I don't need. Half a day of reading the code helps me understand everything that is there.
Life is good. 😀 -
I'm trying to generate a PDF from a website (https://devhints.io/react) on Ubuntu, but the two packages I tried (htmldoc and htmltopdf) both split the code at onto separate pages. I'm trying to have the code blocks on one page or start a new page and then have the title of the code block and the code block.
Any ideas?2 -
Pushed the code without compiling. We weren't generating builds before merging the code back then. It was so embarrassing
-
Level of anxiety = ((Size of the programming project code)^2) * (100 - Percentage of the tested code in project)2
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Starts a new project in school with a colleague. Write some code, a lot of code, just to find out, that he "optimized" my code and now all of my code looks completly different but does the same thing wiht same performance.
Colleague: The code is now better
My Face: 😫 -
99 little bugs in the code, 99 little bugs in the code. Take one down, patch it around 117 little bugs in the code.
-____________- -
We were developing a new feature and on the code complete day, I had to take leave. While code review one of the devs changed my code without proper analysis.
End Result, half the things cannot be tested until that piece of code is fixed1 -
When a colleague reads the clean code book but the writes code that's exactly the opposite ..... Yeah, hmmmm
-
Why do people hate Java fgs. I love to write code, I love the expresivness of the language. Code is code1
-
Any grails dev here? I needed some help urgent but can't seem to get any answers from the internet or even the question I posted on SO. Here's the question:
https://stackoverflow.com/questions... -
Facing some down - simultaneously somehow as dev and privately.
The dev part partly triggered by another burning project. Our team deep in shit up to the chin... And this unanswerable question: who is to blame? Everyone is working up their arses, but the result is still some sparkling firework ship wreck, that only held together for the demo to the board. It's not that we are stupid or lazy, yet we push some unmaintainable spaghetti, because this shit just gotta work.
Dunno, somehow this object orientation / pattern ideologies were also kind of depressing to me: partly because they smell like attempt to enlighten the inept by stupid receipts - and of course then deep down there's this nagging question if I'm not one of this inept not knowing the newest fashion template from the catalogue..
Then this Clean Code - Craftsmanship shit is bugging me similarly. Liked Robert C. Martin's book, but now I picked up some "Clean C++" and.. I kinda feel dumbed down if they try to sell the KISS principle to a 36 year-old physicist/engineer. Good for them that all our legacy shit und own fuck ups nourish this whole industry of well-meaning advisers. Argh, just fuck it, you priests, sell your obvious calendar mottos elsewhere, they are are just as useful as telling a griever that "rain follows sunshine". - As if they would not some time use the raw pointer that their coworker gave 'em, to ship shit tomorrow? -
The code passes the tests which i wrote for the code to pass so it must be fine. (These are only assert statements mind you)4
-
The smaller the code changes the longer the name of PR for the code.
And even more review changes mentioned by the reviewer... -
Random idea for the day.
An IDE plugin that allows intentionally mixing syntax from different programming languages in invalid ways within the same file.
BUT corrects code blocks to the right way by checking each code block detected as invalid say every thirty seconds. Generating code that is equivalent in output to the incorrectly specified code.
Any takers?2 -
Audience question to Uncle Bob: Which parts of the code do you unit test? What about code coverage?
Uncle Bob: Well (chuckling).. You test the parts of the code that you want to work. -
Anyone looking for shitty code practices take a look at the Emotiv API. The way they have written sample code should be mode illegal.
I fucking hate reading through such a shitty peace of sample code. -
Hell, I always thought I was a team player, but is it a great week being the sole developer (all the other on vacation). So I didn't get interrupted all the time, read overblown PR. Still, even in their absence I spent about three days fixing their build issues and PR's, but I could sit down and read the code, some documentation to get a better understanding why it all sucks and what we should do with our pain in the ass build system.
It's really a blast, deleting some stupid code, removing superfluous dependencies and above all leaving snarky remarks in the commit messages and code comments. Just letting some steam off. Code is where my devrant is. -
Had to refractor and abstract some code into an angular 2 component so it can be reused by another. Well I could have just copied and pasted the code from component 1 to 2, that would have been a lot more faster than making this piece of code separate. The later is better, removes code duplicate and your code reads better.
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