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Search - "discuss"
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Friend: so what is this app I always see you using on your phone?
Me: devRant, it's for developers! it gives us the chance to share rants!
Friend: Wow awesome!!! so what do you guys discuss, interesting stuff huh?
Me: Spaces.... spaces vs tabs.25 -
Me : Here is your website. So, when can I expect my pay.😊
Client (wants to skip the pay ) : Site is not loading first fix this we can discuss later.
Me : Please conncet to internet and reload. 😒😎
Truestory 🍻5 -
HR Project update meeting.
Duration: 1h
Content:
1) recap of previous meeting
2) overview of what we will discuss in next meeting.2 -
What the fuck!? Did you just fucking say you don't want to discuss API endpoints with me because I'm just a frontend developer? Get the fuck down from your imaginary backend throne and talk to me like the software engineer that I am. That's right, I'm a software engineer too, you fucking asshole. Just because you do backend and I do frontend doesn't mean you can talk down to me. And I swear that the next time you say you made all the work and I just have to "style it" I'll just leave. You can "style it" yourself.34
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Phone call...
Caller: we contact you to arrange an interview for Java developer position, what time is good with you?
Me: Sorry Sir, I am javascript developer not Java developer!
Caller: You mentioned in your CV that you are using Java and Ayax for building applications!
Me: Trust me Sir, I don't have any relationship with your Ayax...
Caller: No problem, we can discuss this small technical difference in the interview. When you are available for it?
Me: No Sir, I am not available.7 -
My linkedin profile = ~7 years as an iOS developer. All of my job titles are "iOS Developer", "iOS Engineer" or "Mobile lead".
Recruiter: Hi, your profile looks great, I have a number of open roles matching your skills. Would you be free for a call to discuss your salary expectations, skills, what you are looking for etc.
Me: Hi, sorry I don't have time for a call right now, here are answers to your questions. Can you send me on any iOS job specs you have and i'll review. <answers>
Recruiter: Sorry I have no open iOS roles at this time.
Bitch ... ima find you and make you understand5 -
A recruiter just invited me to Christmas dinner at her home to "discuss some business opportunities", so there's that.29
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Manager: Have you fixed the problem?
Dev: What’s the problem?
Manager: We’re not here to discuss problems we’re here to discuss solutions!
Dev: …11 -
Our dear freelance web dev, you absolutely need to come to our office on the other side of the city during working hours when it's impossible to find parking space for an urgent meeting to discuss you copy/pasting to a web page a simple block of text we'll send you via email
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Client: I want this type of app and website.
Me: Ok, I i'll do that, let's discuss the whole functionalities and flows.
Client: No, not right now, you just start developing, we will discuss functionalities and flows later.
😲 😂10 -
Me: *sends meeting request*
Attendee: *3 days later*, hi is there anything in particular you needed to discuss?
Me: ... nope, none what so ever. Decided to take 30 mins out of my busy day to talk to you, a person I don't know, for 30 mins. Definitely the title of the meeting request has nothing to do with it, I wouldn't bother reading that now, since you haven't yet anyway. Cheers!5 -
*only developer at firm and client comes in to discuss building a website on a 4k budget*
"Ok but eBay does it, cant you just do it like eBay?"
Oh eBay who has teams of developers....and a huge budget to afford these developers.....that eBay?4 -
Rashly say to a web developer colleague that you'd quite like to learn to code. Feel too awkward to decline the subsequent invitation. Meet for coffee, discuss basics. Understand nothing. Go home and Google extensively. Start trying code out at home. Cry. Swear. Make a thing that does a thing. Try to make another thing. Fail. Give up. Try again. Start an online tutorial. Work through said online tutorial. Start contributing on Github. Discuss Laravel. Play with Laravel. Set out your own Laravel project. Get engaged to the colleague who said they'd teach you. Get sent a technical test. Stare at the test blankly for days on end. Have an idea. Try to implement the idea. Cry some more, swear some more. Enjoy it. Get hooked. Hate it. Enjoy it. Finish it. Stare at the screen in amazement and wonder what has gone wrong because you are getting the result you were expecting. Rinse, repeat.5
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!rant
Wake up at 7am
Start work at 7:30 am
Set status to "working from home"
Dive deep into code
Boss calls at 10:30am...
Codebrain makes me sound a bit absent: "Uhhh... sup?"
Boss: "Oh sorry, did I wake you up? Would like to discuss the application of the new intern with you, but I can call back after lunch if you want..."
<32 -
Got invited to a "roundtable", where we will discuss email security and the future and direction of where it is going.
Only 10 people in Sweden got a chair
I feel exclusive but also scared that they will find out what a noob I am lol4 -
It's not micromanagment. But I would like you to report to me every single day and discuss everything that you and every member of your team does every day.10
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CS lecturer and I were sitting in the canteen trying to discuss something on my laptop. While waiting for it to load this is what we discussed:
Me: funny story, this weekend I was out with my friends an.......
Lecturer: *hang on* ... you have friends?5 -
Me: hey I have a major issue I need to discuss. Would you be free tomorrow at any of these times: A, B or C?
Him: Yes
Me: ... ... ... ok I’ve a new issue I need to discuss with you right now!16 -
"Everyone must attend this meeting. It's really important that you all attend".
Me: *walks into meeting with other co-workers
Host: So what should we discuss today?
Co-worker 1: We can discuss how we did on the recently completed project.
Host: We'll save that for next meeting.
Co-worker 2: Any strategic plans for upcoming project?
Host: That too, for next meeting.
Me: Black Panther.
Host: That was actually a great movie. I saw it over the weekend. Who else saw it? ....
Me (in my thoughts): Just wow! 😂
PS: I still haven't seen that movie.2 -
managers: We're all aligned! Let's work as a team and get this started!
devs: ok...
managers and devs meeting to discuss next features: * canceled by managers *
managers: (word for word, can't make this shit up) we cancelled the meeting, we will define the roadmap for everyone
> WE will define the roadmap for EVERYONE
devs: uh wtf???
one hour later, managers: guys we are defining the roadmap can we have a call to discuss?
fucking asshat, insolent, disrespectful pieces of shit3 -
Manager: As you all know I called this meeting to discuss what we will do with all of the extra resources if we are done early. I was thinking a start a new ap—
Dev: We are not going to be done early. There are two weeks left and we are way behind schedule.
Manager: Don’t be so pessimistic! You never know when or how fast tickets will be completed.
Dev: Yes I do…I’m the one doing them4 -
how to make a feature request
1. dump Db table with 153 column to Excel
2. print!
3. circle column 47 on page 3, scribble feature description
4. scan! remember to use proprietary file format no one has
5. new e-mail, add "VERY URGENT!!!" to subject line
6. write "will call, discuss details monday"
6.a. attach proprietary-scanned-excel-dump-feature-description (optional)
7. postscript: deadline wednesday!!
8. wait for tuesday
9. send!
...3 -
Dear backend dev:
No data is not an error for fuck sake. Don't want 404, or messages if the search criteria filters out all values. Give me a empty array.
Is this hard to understand that we need a team meeting to discuss?
Godamit12 -
A client came to the startup I was working at, to discuss a potential schools/universities based project. Their requirements were as follows
1. Full control of every class's daily routine (based on teacher's availabilities).
2. Multiple-choice exam feature (Timed).
3. Individual dashboards for teachers, head of departments, the Headmaster for every school onboarded on the platform.
4. Scores analysis of every student in every class (Report card).
5. Attendance feature for every student.
And so on.
Guess their budget for the above.
200 USD. FUCKING 200 US Dollars !!!!
My stomach hurt that day from laughing.8 -
Colleague: Hey want to get access to our repo so we can see each others code, collaborate, discuss design patterns etc?
Me: Yeah sounds like a great idea. Would love to get to know a bit more about how others are building mobile apps in the company.
Colleague: Heres the link to the iOS app: xxxxxxxxxx
*Opens link*
*looks around a bit*
*Opens cocoapods folder*
*Sees 89 dependencies*
Me: .......... actually, you know what, I have major deadlines coming up. I can't look at this right now. Lets talk in the new year.
*closes slack*5 -
Management knows shit about managing.
They ask us to do x and one month later they have the first meeting to discuss it... They didn't even plan it, only asked.
Its like asking a hamburger at Mc Donalds and letting the kind of hamburger for when it arrives:
"Hey, I want a hamburger"
Mc. Employee: "Which one , sir?"
"Doesn't matter, when it arrives we decide about it, just go on, chop chop"5 -
Mobile app crashed a lot after latest release. Everyone called for a meeting to discuss the issue and find resolutions.
Engineering lead for backend team: well part of our problem is we haven’t had time to test everything fully. Maybe product could give us a list of all the features that can’t go down and we’ll prioritize those for testing?
Product: ... ... ... all of them?
Me: laughing hysterically while on mute2 -
- No I wont give you a ballpark estimate.
- No I wont grab a cup of coffee to discuss your idea
- No I wont check out your existing app/website
I'm a professional and my time is actually what I'm selling. If you want me to spend my time on you then you better spend yours to persuade me.
Send me a brief, your research on competitors, your roadmap, a deck, whatever. I'll probably won't read any of it. But at least I'll now that you you mean business and you value and respect my time.7 -
I just had a 2 hours long company lunch followed by a 1 hour meeting with the whole team. And I still have a big problem to discuss with two colleagues. Too much social interaction for one day for me. Damn, how my head hurts.27
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On a holiday, Manager called for a sudden meeting to discuss an unimportant topic.
I pretended that my audio was not working. The meeting ended in 5 minutes and I went back to sleep.11 -
WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP WASTING MY FUCKING TIME WITH POINTLESS MEETINGS ABOUT WHAT METHODOLOGIES YOU GONNA USE TO GET THE FUCKING DATA????
JUST GIVE ME THE FUCKING DATA AFTER YOU DISCUSS THIS SHIT AND TELL WHAT THE FUCK I HAVE TO DO WITH IT!!!
FUCKING WASTING MY FUCKING TIME AND WANTING SHIT TO BE DONE! WHAT THE FUCK!5 -
Big "company summit" this week where everyone flies in and we discuss the future of the company (sadly not over drinks). I might be getting promoted with stock and pay increase, and allowed to hire another dev.
Yet, here I am, updating and sending out my resume, and hoping for something, anything.
A 30% raise wouldn't be enough to deal with all of this madness.15 -
My biggest hurdle is learning to code all by myself. I never knew anyone that I could ask for help or discuss problems with, because there weren't any programmers in my family, and my friends were too busy playing video games.9
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Tech startups, an analogy:
After 18 years going from help desk teams to NOC teams, telecom engineering and all manner of startups in between I have concluded the following:
Imagine wanting to start an aerospace company because you know how to fold a paper airplane, but not how to actually design and engineer an actual craft that will pass basic air worthiness checks.
That’s 99% of “tech” companies.
Discuss. I’ll make drinks.9 -
Group projects in computer science usually go like this for me:
Me: Want to be in a Group?
Group member: sure
Me: okay, we can discuss the project and start coding some stuff tomorrow
Group member: I don't have a laptop, won't get one till two weeks
Me: -_-
Also me: fuck off -
In the midst of a debate / discussion with a dev-friend ...
Me: Discussions with you are so exhausting.
Him: I don't discuss. I explain why I'm right.
... D:6 -
Business: We can't approve this code update in QA because we weren't aware of it.
Me: I was told you wanted it.
Business: We'll discuss it next week. Don't do anything on this till then.
Me: Alright. But you said so.
(Week passes)
Business: Why isn't that updated in QA for us to test? You said you were done.
Me: I am done but you said no. (Sends email exchange)
We shall see what happens next.7 -
Don't burn other devs just because you don't like their solution. Discuss empower and stop being a total prick. People should look up to you because they respect you not because you put them down!6
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"Hey we need you to be laser focused on these rush projects, but first let's have an hour long meeting to discuss how you need to be laser focused on these projects".
😑6 -
Generally I don't discuss work with family as they just smile and nod.
I start by saying I'm a front end web developer, then simplify to I code websites, then I have to simplify again to say I make the bit you look at.
So now I just say I'm in IT.1 -
Hello people. A few people of the Dutch section of devRant have been talking about a possible meetup for a while now and a day or so ago we thought fuck it, let's not keep postponing but just get this fucker running.
So the idea is to (still quite short term) get together in The Hague the second weekend from now (so around the 21st).
Saturday or Sunday and meetup place have yet to be decided.
Let's discuss in the comments!27 -
From the guy who wrote all the Programming Microsoft books and the Annotated Turing book. Comes this book.
This book is great for beginners great for people who don’t know a lot about software and how computers work, simple read. I like it because it also gives a different prospective, beginning at Morse code and works up from there all the way up to high level languages.
The book gives snippets of code to discuss it not really a tutorial book. It’s a different type of book that all people could understand.
Good read32 -
"We are from <Company Name> and wanted to reach out to you in regards to a management level software position, we liked bla bla bla about your resumee and would like to discuss some options with you"
Me: "oh interesting! I just worked with your company last week helping one of our departments implement one of your solutions into their area"
Recruiter: "We know :D"
I am kinda wondering if this is considered poaching7 -
I had a 15 minute meeting, organised by the MD, with the CTO and a principal engineer, to discuss what shade of yellow a button should be. Massive waste of time.19
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Myself along with an artist and business entertainment guy met at a pub in October 2016 to discuss an idea for an app based company.
Launched version 1 in December 2016, had nothing.
Launched version 2 in August 2017, by the end of the year we were state-wide and partnered with numerous companies in the space. We also experimented with interstate.
This year we are aiming for country wide.2 -
i once had a manager that would fuss at every little detail.
front end had to be pixel perfect on every freaking device he could find and the backend being over documented that one liners needed a bloody comment.
//is it true?
if( true ) {
}
anything needing more then 5-10 minutes to work out required several meetings to discuss every tiny aspect in detail.
drove me insane and glad i left!2 -
So guys and gurls...
I'm a member of devRant for about 1.5 weeks now. I already have over 130 likes on my rants in total about things I was never able to post without being labeled a nerd. I literally love you guys! Thanks to @dfox and @trogus for making it possible for us to discuss things that matter for us!6 -
I was in class and this one guy was having difficulty with Word's auto correct. The teacher goes over to help him and this is what I overhear.
"Damn artificial intelligence... We need to make sure that we're always the ones on top and that we never give them to much control!"
*teacher then proceeds to discuss the dangers of AI with the entire class*
The funniest part is, this was in my Japanese class 😂4 -
Show up on time.
Be prepared.
Have a list of things that need to be covered if you're leading the meeting.
Stay on track, don't let people start talking out of one tangent, I tend to suggest people discuss it afterwards or email about it.
Take the meeting seriously, otherwise other people will not.
Know how to talk a language everyone understands. Sometimes people with key info just aren't very technical.
Following Ely's golden rules for meetings, my meetings are rarely longer than 20 minutes.5 -
Actual conversation today with one of my remote developer teammates in Ukraine
Me: "next up I'd like to discuss the 'bigger picture' so you have context for the next tasks..."
Dev (after an hour or so and some chat in between...): "Yes, could you please send more details about a large images issue?"
Me (somewhat perplexed): "what are you... oh! Haha"
😂😂😂4 -
Hmm, Manager called us for a meeting to discuss our future plan
All we ended up listening he wants to open up his own caffe with library
:(8 -
My argument: Password change policies (every 3, 6 moths, etc.) are a detriment to security because users will either come up with simple, throw-away passwords (knowing they will need to change them soon anyways) or use the same password anyways with a few variations.
Discuss.22 -
Scrum Master: Let's estimate the task. Chose your estimations individually, then we will reveal at the same time and discuss
- variety of votes, ranging from 1 to 8
Product Owner: I don't agree, this should be a 1 or 2.
Dev Team Lead: Agreed, this is why I chose 2. Let's vote again.
- All votes now are 1s or 2s
Good fucking job 🤨11 -
Live chat with Verizon support online
Wait in line for 30mins finally get an agent
But then she doesn't respond
I take a angry screen shot of the chat and send it to Verizon's Twitter
Get a quick response and the agent replies.
---
Then...
Me: I want renew/upgrade my services at the discount price
Agent: not possible. Contact regular support number to discuss
Me: what if I cancel and sign up again
Her: OK here's the direct number to our retention hotline7 -
Meetings about meetings that we're going to have to discuss the need for the next meeting wherein a potential followup meeting will be scheduled to meet for the meeting.3
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One fucking stupid 3 minute task I must take care of...Let us all spend 30 minutes putting it into Google Keep, Outlook calendar, Trello then OneNote..in case we forget....
Wait..I forgot to start my Jira time tracker.
I'll Slack you once it's all done then we can Skype to discuss. -
Wk29:
A 15 minute meeting to discuss what shade of yellow our product should use for warning. I had to attend because I was writing the product.
This was one of about 5 separate discussions on the colour, a few of which involved me showing them a colour wheel and telling them to pick.
I'm a back end developer, the colour is just 3 rgb floats to me, I don't goddam care!2 -
When you are into Dota2 trying to forget everything after stressful day and your manager messages you if you have spare 10 minutes to discuss next weeks' upcoming tasks.
Hell NO!! Let me play and chill.5 -
Hey guys!
Just joined devRant! Can't wait to get more involved!
Bored in the lockdown, I built an app which lets you chat with people around you.
Its called Cyrcl!
Built in over ~40 days, I was the sole developer.
Here is the tech stack - React native for the android and ios apps, mongodb and redis for the database, nodejs for the server and aws ec2 for the hosting!
I'd love to get some feedback, or discuss some of the hacks!
- Ardy15 -
Why do managers always want to fucking "discuss"? If you had literally a first-grader's education in basic electronics, you could define tasks and tickets by yourself and not have to fumble around all day and fuck it up,13
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11:00 AM
Boss: *autistic screaming* Make this module not shit.
Whole team: Alright we'll have a meeting to discuss changes at 6:00PM
5:00 PM
Me: I'mma fiddle just a bit with this module.... *fiddles a lot* *makes it not shit*.... cool, I'll just notify my team I fixed it.
LiterallyAtTheSameTime:00 PM
OtherDudeFromTeam *in my dm-s*: AY YO DUDE I FIXED THE PROBLEM LOL 😂😂😂
Me: iGiveUp.exe5 -
The push back phrase my manager uses when I try to discuss a requirement which I think is incorrect:
"It was discussed and agreed upon at the beginning b/n PM and engineering"
To hell with that, if 10 people arrive at a stupid decision, its still a stupid decision
I just sit back until the project progresses much further and wait for another senior dev whom they can't ignore to bring up the same issue.
It is supremely frustrating 😤2 -
Had a meeting with a web development firm with 10+ developers on staff to discuss ways we could help them improve efficiency and they said "we don't have anyone who knows SQL or databases"...
How do you even find 10 developers who "don't know databases"?11 -
A popular social media website in my country (which my friends and I were working on it's new design) was hacked and everyone on the dev side of the website was invited to the ministry of communications, believing we were going to discuss security of user data. The other guys (working on the back-end) were friends with the CEO (if you want to call it that) and naturally came to the meeting. They started to talk about the girls of their city. Meanwhile about 1.2 million user data encrypted with MD5 was out there.6
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I may cool off a little bit after this rant:
One of my junior coworkers weirdly peeks into my screen while I code or do any stuffs - this is what I hate the most.
Also whenever we discuss something by my desk, he looks for the opportunity to touch my Mac every goddamn time. Even after I told that shitwit several times about it.
Once, I went to have a conversation with a senior engineer just a few desks away only to come by and see that fuckface peeking into my project.
I had to tell him off with my absolute verbal retaliation.2 -
Yesterday with my boss:
Hey boss, can I work from home tomorrow?
Boss: No, I need you in the office, we need to discuss some things together.
....He didn't come to the office today, he just made me come to train the newcomer LOL.6 -
Hey there devRanters!
In a rants comments I came to the idea (yet again) of doing a kind of devRant meetup in the Netherlands! Would any fellow dutchies be in for this and if yes, lets discuss some details in the comments!122 -
This is the face of NPM right now.
So, Devon Govett (Parcel creator, hella lot of GitHub stars) offered to kind of standardize package.json, but faced nothing but angry NPM-CLI creator telling him that he’s a “rando from internet” and “why the fuck are you even speccing something, and why would anyone care”. No real professionally ethical discussion, no invitation to discuss things together with team, no even polite “no”.
Definitely the friendliest behavior possible, well done!
https://mobile.twitter.com/maybekat...7 -
Your favourite coffee type.
I think it would be a nice theme to discuss.
Because it is our energy source. :p20 -
Boss (to everyone): "we must have a meeting now and discuss about some importants things"
Me: "ok, but..why?"
Boss: "because i'm too anxious"
Me: ...3 -
Suddenly there's this tight deadline, everyone's pumping hours in, I am the one that has to discuss with everyone and integrate their work into mine. So I schedule an early morning meeting with a colleague, whose work is crucial in order to continue integrating the others' modules.
30mins into the meeting, he's not there yet. I reach him
"Oh, sorry, I forgot to mention, I'm actually not available today, and until 3 days before the deadline"
Well isn't this great.5 -
My Manager: Could you help "other manager" (OM) they need some very simple code changes.
Me: sure that will only take a few minutes *adds 15 lines of code tells OM one single line they have to modify*
Some other manager (SOM): Hey how does this work, I'm confused, do I need to do anything?
Me: Yes see the email chain you were copied on.
SOM: Actually let's have a meeting instead and all discuss this.
Goddammit this was a simple change to make your life easier now you are wasting everyones time by not reading the email -
Just lied to a client about meeting up to discuss a project. I called in sick, but I am just too tired and didn’t do anything on the project for a week. I have blood on my hands now. I will have to see him tomorrow though.2
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When team members want to discuss an issue for so long that if you spent a quarter of the time working, you would have completed the task.
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My Boss: Hey let's meet to discuss a new project you need to start on Monday.
Me: Great!
My Boss: It's a WordPress project
Me: I will be at the bar...2 -
Coworker was adversarial from the get. He would always bully me by saying “You better do [BLANK]!” whenever we’d discuss tasks to be done. He eventually pushed my buttons too many times. I responded to his bullying tactic by yelling back, “IF I DON’T, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT!? Stop bullying me and let’s work TOGETHER on this!” I realize now he was fucking with my head.2
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In my previous job we had a monthly meeting, where we had to discuss all periodic meetings we had to attend. This meeting was only for non managers, and we created a sheet of pros and cons, which was than reviewed by managers on specific meeting for that purpose, and then we had a meeting to discuss those points with managers.2
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Phone call with random guy:
"Hi I have an awesome idea for a mobile app that's going to change the world. I just don't know how to program it."
Me: "cool, let's set up a meeting to hash out the details and discuss the project & costs"
Guy: "I was hoping you would be able to do it for 10% equity, it's gonna make millions!"
Me: "Facepalm"6 -
Issue reporter:
Feed from external service provider is overwriting the wrong things, pls fix
Resolution:
Service provider is sending duplicate unique IDs, you need to get with them to discuss
Service provider response:
This is a *RE-USABLE UNIQUE ID* . . . The bottom line is you should not use this UNIQUE ID as a primary key.21 -
Ideal job?
The one that give me a roof over my head.
And pays my bills.
And bring food on the table.
And give me a lot of free time for my hobbies.
And avoids me to discuss with stupid clients.
Ok, maybe the last one is a bit unrealistic..1 -
life is too short to spend it by learning all the time and not actually enjoying to be alive.
discuss.8 -
Ever have to put your work on hold due to being called into a 2 hour meeting to discuss how important it is that we need this thing finished asap.1
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i find it interesting that the intent when this app was created was probably to let people rant about bugs and stupid errors, post dev memes, and it has evolved to a point where we hear a lot of rants related to the work environment. my guess is that the rest of the internet is so visible and damning that this became a safe space where we can discuss work relations with less fear.
i love that the community here is so supportive in these matters :)4 -
Before starting sprint we gave estimations, while discuss with my team, my project manager also part of the meeting. After three weeks my project manager start give list of tasks like this is API and this is front end and also estimations based on our previous sprint plan.
We pissed off. After that we never include our manager in technical meeting.
FYI - If you're using Google sheets for ball park estimations never give permission to your project manager to edit sheet.2 -
The other dev and I met with the PM to discuss some naming issues in one of our applications. Out of the 5 minutes we were together, the PM suggested 4 new features and a complete restructure of a module.1
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MANAGER: "Hey Slug, I just got off the phone with $partner about $issue and they want to have a meeting with us to discuss it. Send them an email and schedule something for Thursday morning."
WHAT THE HECK DO YOU THINK I AM, YOUR PERSONAL SECRETARY!!??? If you're the one who has a specific day and time of day that works this week, and if you were talking to them anyway, then how about YOU schedule the meeting????? And of course $partner comes back with "Does 10:30 work?" and so now I'm just playing middle-man. Who could have seen THAT coming.........6 -
ComputerToucher: *opens Jira ticket* Dev team needs tokens for the APM for a new app with multiple tenants. Ezpz. Hey, developer. Do you want one golden token for all of your app tenants or would you like us to generate one token for each?
Developer: Let’s have a meeting to discuss it.
CT: It’s…an exceedingly simple question. One token or 4? Which does your app support?
Dev: Yeah I think we should discuss with this with the platform team, can you set up the call?
CT: (Internally) I am the platform team? Do you not know how your applica-never mind I’ll just ask the PM directly.
CT (in chat): I’ll ask PM to schedule the call.
*Goes back to Jira ticket, changes priority to 4, removes ticket from sprint entirely, picks something else to work on*6 -
Dev: "I've pushed some code. Give it a code review."
Me: "ok, i'll do it"
<<fast forward>>
Me: "Sounds good to me. Only thing, I wouldn't have gone for all those renames because that was not part of the request, maybe we can discuss ...."
Dev: "I like those names and besides, it's already deployed in production"
Me: " :| .... what's the purpose of a code review when you push straight into production ?4 -
Had a meeting with one colleague and my boss. Colleague wanted to discuss the frontend of the software I'm writing. All mockups were made by my boss.
One minute in the meeting my colleague starts with something like 'This field should be first because *insert good argument*'. My boss immediately stood up and left the room while yelling 'If we start to criticize things like that, we can end this meeting here'.
Colleague and me just looked at each other, had a quite chuckle, and went back to work. -
Typical code life?
1. Write rough comments
2. Write more detailed comments
3. Write pseudo code
4. Write semi-working but definitely ugly code
5. Write working but very ugly code
6. Refactor the code to be nicer, check for patterns, bottlenecks and other bits and pieces
7. Push to git the "final" code
8. After few months blame whoever wrote the code
9. Refactor all the things!
---
This happened in my career more than once and still - it seems like the best option out there to get things done. What do you guys think? Should something be added/removed from this? Is this over-complicated or what?2 -
This is a legit question from an exam I just took:
What is CMR?
- A subject we did not discuss.
- Short for Customer Management of Relationships.
- Do you mean CRM?
This is a fucking joke.2 -
That moment when you're dragged to a meeting with a group planning a dating app with custom avatars, discuss about what art style to use (realistic vs cartoonish) and the guy in the suit casually mentions he doesn't understand how there are people attracted to "hentai" and its related art styles.
😨 -
Me: Would you be free for a call sometime in the next week to discuss?
Him: yes
...... maybe theres a time / day that suits you????2 -
Just remembered the CIO wanted to discuss a project with me when I "got a moment". That was 4 months ago... and I work somewhere else now. Oh well.
-
When you feel like your falling behind because at work you don't unit test, use dependency injection or pretty much anything the devs in the community discuss.2
-
Solo Android app developer here. It's 4AM where I'm working. Been working alone on a project for the last 20 days. Looking to get some inspiration and discuss new ideas with other devs.
So hi!
What's up with you? What do you do?20 -
We have so many meetings.
"I once had a meeting which was to discuss how to organize meetings on how to manage tech debts"
"God knows WHY!"3 -
(2 months old in a company)
Team members to me: we are always there for you. Ask anything you need for.
Me(today): can you please discuss this topic with me?
Team member A: I'm sorry I'm busy
Me: okay
Me: can you please discuss this topic with me?
Team member B: I got to catch the train now.
Me: we catch same train. Let's discuss during the commute.
Team member B: NO. We will not get two seats together (it's easy to find two seats).
me (in my mind): I really need help here.
Me: okay2 -
Starting the week with a 3 hour meeting to discuss importing Customer data to a new crm, if I should be allowed to take the time to do it or not.
I finished it last week and already imported the data to the syst enviroment and scrubbed it.
I spend more time Waiting for meetings and attending than doing the work.1 -
Just started my first "management" role after 12 years as a developer, first thing I learnt is its just like my last role only I don't have to do any of the hard work.
Worried they'll figure out I'm doing almost nothing soon, any tips? Should I just start scheduling meetings to discuss meetings?4 -
A group that I met at a gathering of my school wanted to make this 1v1 fight game.
We got a group whatsapp going, assigned roles, planned a meeting and discussed some general ideas.
I was excited and looking forward to developing.
Meeting comes: there are two people present, myself and the 'lead developer' dude. We discuss some general stuff about the setting of the game. I ask him what he is planning for the actual development: "I don't know yet, I'll look into it"
After that the group gradually stopped talking about it and the idea just died .....3 -
How many project managers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they'll just schedule a meeting to discuss the lighting strategy.3
-
Quick question, how do you guys find the energy/motivation to create side projects?
Currently, I'm working around 8 hours a day and afterwards I can't really think about getting on the PC as I know that I will burn out eventually and end up messing up the following work day.
Do you take a shorter work day? Do you work on non IT related side-projects? Maybe someone wants to discuss on how to avoid burn-outs and still have fun while working and doing side-projects? :) All ideas are welcome for this topic!11 -
Meeting101:
1) Schedule a meeting to discuss some important issues.
2) Discuss everything but those issues!
3) Schedule another meeting for same issues.
😭2 -
!dev but devRant has become "not dev" sadly.
Time to say bye to the racist kindergarden it has become!
How many more outdated country clichés can they possible come up with? "Thick Indian accent", "hard-working Nazi Germans" bla bla bla ...
If you're not interested in dev anymore why don't you join the European Parliament or a local pub where you can discuss your "ethnic" bullshit with other right-wing retards dreaming of remigration. Fuck you idiots, seriously!
/me logs off.7 -
Guy: A social network with some very special features that nobody else has.
Me: Okay. Let's discuss these features so I can write you a quote.
Guy: I can't talk about that until I know how much an app costs.
Commence an impasse over whether I can quote something without knowing the features. And yes, I tried explaining he should get a NDA. And no, a NDA wasn't good enough; I need to quote it without any knowledge of the features.1 -
Incident of my colleague, who is really hard-working but ain't so smart strategically.
So this morning the entire team connected to discuss the status or criticalll points.
When my colleagues turn came, she delivered a monologue for 15 minutes straight and was still going strong.
(Fucking hell, I couldn't stop laughing while typing this).
My TPM had to interrupt her, and the way he did is even funnier, to discuss few points.
I was the only one on video and I just couldn't resist laughing at the entire situation.
How the fuck can someone talk non-stop for 15 minutes without being breathless and still can go for another round.
Hahahaha it was hilarious.3 -
Course title: Advanced Database Management
Course Objectives:
-Create a database with SQL.
-Describe data normalization of database information.
-Describe distributed database management system.
-Design databases based on Entity Relationship modeling.
-Discuss connecting to databases with server-side scripts.
-Discuss database administration and security.
-Discuss database systems
Like. Come. On.7 -
Client A: "So, how about those features I told you yesterday? Can it work? Have you discuss it with your team?"
Me: "Yes, it would possibly have to extend the due date a little bit more..."
Client A: "Meaning?"
Me: "You have to pay more."
*Another 15mins awkward silence moment*
Client A: "I don't understand."
Seriously, get some other guy to do the meeting please...I am not good in PR....3 -
We were documenting a feature which has system wide affect. We’ll be delivering it to customer on Monday.
So we’ve asked the colleague who worked on it about how it works and asked few follow up questions that arise during the documenting. All were good.
Comes Friday when I had a question as some things didn’t add up and I checked the source. To my surprise the very core operation colleague explained us works in exact opposite way. I kid you not in %50 percent of the documentation we ramble about why it was implemented this way since it is faster/safer best practices bla bla.
Moreover we’ve already had some exchange with the customer and we informed(misinformed) them about this core operation...
Also changing the behavior will reduce the overall speed as it will cause extra branchings. Other option is to rewrite the documentation and inform(re-convince) the customer. If it was me I wouldn’t trust us anymore but we’ll see.
I really don’t know what to say about this fucker why would you say something if you’re not sure of it or why the fuck you didn’t confirm in the last 3 weeks....
Anyway we have a meeting on Monday morning to discuss how to proceed, that’s gonna be fun!1 -
Middle dev manager calls us all to the weekly meeting and she’s like
”Yeah, I haven’t got anything to discuss”
Inspiring!
I got to leave this dysfunctional place!!!9 -
Freelance Headhunters...
No idea where they got my name and the number of my work phone...
- they do not give a damn and call me 1045 am to discuss "EXCITING BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES™"
- they are sure I am having a case of stockholm syndrome, because I could NEVER be satisfied in my current employment
- they call every other day with a new number and start the same process again
How fucking dense can people get?11 -
Lets discuss Git Clients. Now I love electron, in concept. And I love what you can do with it, on paper. And I understand Github's need to jack itself off by developing its own framework just to make its own software in being what Github is, and then everyone else following suite because Github must know best. And that's my rant, I don't think it had a point. So, favorite git client and why?21
-
Bless whoever came up with Scrum! Now when the PO requests a change from me, I get to tell him: "please refer to the scrum master and discuss potentially adding your suggestions into the backlog items for the next sprint."1
-
One of our customers is a minor telco, which has been taken over by a bigger one. Some of the customer documents, welcome letters and so on, are generated by our system.
First of all, the new owner wanted us to re-brand it all for free. Well, we didn't (maybe you understand). I wrote an offer for the whole package including some fixes, sums another 9000 $.
Of course, they have to discuss it now,they told me. But in the meantime - they seriously asked us to black the former company name by hand on each letter using a marker. No shit buddies! -
One of the higher ups just sent me a message on my private phone number after 10pm asking if we could discuss something work related. I'm a working student, leave me alone.5
-
Great (but clueless) client. I went to a meeting with the client to discuss a way forward for his website revamp. First off he showed me his idea, which was a visual of the Windows desktop, with folders for different sections of the website, click on a folder and it opens revealing the different website pages. It went on basically describing how windows works. When he'd finished I said, with a cheeky smile, "that must be one of the fucking shityest ideas I've ever heard". We both started laughing.3
-
I'm very short tempered at the moment.
A lot like Dr Cox in Scrubs.
And really ... You mother fucking stupid idiotic developers with your tendency to discuss absolutely everything just to not have to work for a dozen more minutes...
But ok. Let's discuss.
But even that seems to be absolutely impossible for you little shitheads.
Instead of discussing solutions, nooooooooo....
We're grown up developers so we discuss how the baddy manager hurt our lil feelings by saying that we're morons for wasting all the fucking time without coming up with a solution.
Now my lil cry babies, once the baddy manager got your pacifiers so at least once in an hour my migraine finally calms down for not hearing your bitching pathetic lil whiny noises...
Face it. Over the years you collected a huge ton of mother fucking tech debt because no one of you actually took a bit of time to use that empty space in your head to think at least a mu further than the dumb jira task you were given.
And yes. That ends badly.
And yes. As it is now in a state of cluster fuck, guess what. You have to work. You get money for it, remember?
And yes. if you would stop moping and bitching and crying and being a pathetic lil piece of shit, you'd realize we could come up with solutions very fast.
But nooo... Let's talk about our feelings.
And how we are over worked.
And how nothing works.
Cause yes. That will be the hail mary that saves us all.
Let me give u a hint: it's a mother fucking waste of time bitches.
I think it's time I put a pacifier not only in your mouth, but arse too. Maybe it helps overcoming the anal and oral phase of childhood so we can at least have something close to adult talk.
*breathes in*
Gooozfraba.3 -
If you were to write a regular expression to match phone numbers in the format of either:
(123) 456-7890 or
123-456-7890
Would you prefer a regular expression that looked like:
A) /^(?:\(\d{3}\) |\d{3}-)\d{3}-\d{4}$/g
B) ^\(\d{3}\) \d{3}-\d{4}$|^\d{3}-\d{3}-\d{4}$/g
C) Other
D) I hate regex
Reasoning? Alternative? Discuss.
(I'm curious about preferences surrounding the readability of regular expressions)19 -
"This is now urgent we are in risk of breach of contract."
*travels an hour just to discuss*
"Oh don't worry, don't panick about it, so and so is probably sorting it. We most likely don't need it."1 -
“We will send you a code challenge :)”
Or if we are being serious, I like it when we discuss projects I or they have worked on and what was interesting and challenging about them, and what was done to overcome obstacles and why. I really like when we discuss potential options and why one was taken over another one. -
I’ve been out of steady work for almost 2 whole months now but things are starting to look up...
I’m super stoked for some potential client projects!!! I have one client that wants me to completely rebuild their businesses infrastructure, PC refresh, server upgrade, network overhaul for 3 sites, and more. This new client has a business partner with another side business and wants to discuss potential work/projects. And I’m going to be discussing a potential contract deal on Thursday to develop a custom software for another client.
Guys! My startup is starting woot!!!3 -
Earphones on.
Notifications off.
A boss who is the most inefficient boss ever. No, yours is not, mine is, trust me.
In the middle of coding, never in the zone for obvious reasons. A workmate wants me to call him to discuss stuff as he is working from home, which I wish I were.
I keep coding and decide to call him later.
My boss interrupts me again to TELL ME IF I CAN CALL MY WORKMATE.
Whyyyyyy
FML. -
I scoured my memory, and realized that I have never had a fight with another developer in all my years. Yes, there have been debates, but they were logical. There are even a few unresolved debates, due to preference and ideology, but never anything with enough emotion to be called a fight.
That's pretty cool. We are smart people and can discuss important issues without resorting to petty bickering.2 -
Don't you just love it when a department buys a software for the company without consulting IT and Data Management departments? You know to discuss integration, flexibility, compatibility and all that?
Don't you love it even more when the users of this new software then complain about the different tools that have to learn and the workflow being completely scattered?
But hey, they work in administration, so I'm sure they know what they are doing. ⚡⚡⚡4 -
Need a C++ partner..
I'm self taught developer and it's kinda hard to understand the code of your own.. since c++ is not an easy language to master I need partner whom I can easily discuss code and topics of c++. I'm in slack too and it's great community .. has people who always willing to help you out.. but the thing is it's really weird to ask simple question there again and again.. so i wanna have some partner to discuss C++ code easily..13 -
One that you can discuss those minor bugs with and really Bond with.
Old but Golden dvd in the background for size reference3 -
Did you know? TL;DR stands for "too long; didn't read".
BUT DID YOU FUCKING KNOW THAT THE REST OF THE FUCKING TEXT MATTERS TOO?
Fucking read the rest before trying to be helpful. You wouldn't discuss a book after reading the summary, the same applies to questions.
"just do it like that"
"But that's not what I asked, I need it this way"
"Why would you need it this way?"
"ID fucking K. Maybe I left a fucking hint about that in the context? Can you spare like one or two minutes to read the context?"2 -
*every time we're pulled into a meeting to discuss a problem. 20 mins into discussion.*
"But that approach overlooks s-"
"THANKS GUYS. JUST KEEPING IN MIND TIME, LETS MOVE ON"
---
Move on to what? You asked to meet to discuss this problem - but I guess we should stop because `time > problem`.3 -
Got transferred on to a new team. The team I was on previously was successful, had great processes, and very smart people. New team was floundering, very late, no processes, and crotchety. Did my best with the (lack of) expectations and information given to me. No one gave me any feedback. Get called into a meeting to discuss my lack of performance and failure to meet goals. If I hadn't needed the money I would have walked out. Transferred teams a month later.
-
Rant to discuss Domain Driven Design (DDD) architecture.
Did anyone implemented on production?
How scalable and easy to use?
Do you recommend it? if yes in which environment? in which business types?17 -
I wish more workplaces realised how stupid it is to quibble, argue, debate etc. about stupid things like buying Devs intellij licenses. I mean sure, we'll throw a meeting to discuss it, argue back and forth, ignore questions about why the sales guys always get any new tools they want, and then waste more on meeting time than the damn license would have cost... Great idea...1
-
My job. Working in a small IT department. Web programming most of the day and being able to help people with their phones, software, internet connection, and so on...
The only thing I sometimes wished for were some other devs in my company that would understand me and my problems and with whom I could discuss new technologies.
But now I got devrant. I'll be fine from now on.1 -
"You need to learn Angular for a new project. You can do it in any free time you have."
Where "free time" is defined as:
Any time left in between working on priority tasks or bugs, bugs which have failed testing and the weekly array of meetings, tech sessions and meetings to discuss the progress in learning Angular. -
"I don't think we should be playing with our privates {variables} like that" - framework designer
= context =
It was noticed that we have too many setter functions to change private variables just to do unit tests. So we had a small meeting to discuss what to do about this.
Options:
- don't do the test
- ignore till another time (ie: keep the functions till its a problem)
- put the variables into a provider
- use reflection (the above quote was a reaction to this option)6 -
I just accepted a job offer, while the current company I'm working in (which also offered me a job, cuz' I was in apprenticeship) has no idea about it. I fear the moment when I'll discuss about it with my current boss, because he accepted me as a beginner and now that I'm trained by this company I'll leave it :/
But I'm young and want to discover new work experiences so I hope he'll understand.1 -
Went to a 15 minute meeting to discuss an app I’m working on. Nothing I’m the agenda seemed aimed at me and I figured I was there just to pitch in as needed.
Took 2 hours and I ended up leaving with three weeks worth of work and the single most complicated workflow I have ever heard of. I do not get paid enough for this. -
Oh, my worst dev experience.
First of all everyone know it, people who ask you to repair there computer 🤦♂️
Or people who say: "Hey Windows Media player is not working now. Fix it"
But the best moment and worst too is a moment where I present my new website and a friend start to refresh the site with F5 on his browser. I ask him why he do it and he answere "Yeah, you will be rich when I do it"
I don't get it. Why rich? So I ask him and he answere that websites are paid by web request an "clicks" "views" counter.
That was the stupidest thing I ever hear. Okay when I would show ads than maybe it's "true" but without them🤦♂️
But that's not the end after I explained him that it's not so he fucked me up that I would be very stupid because I don't register on a service which pay you for it. I explained him that the only service could be an ad service but no he don't understand it and try to discuss with me that a service like this exist. I ask for a link to the service and he could not answer.
For me it was the worst experience because for me it was the most stupidest thing ever and he try to discuss with me and really we discuss 1 hour about it🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️1 -
Spent 3 weeks working on an issue (raised by dev A) by following the suggested solution stated in the issue.
Pushed a PR and got told by dev B that it's not the correct solution.
Dude, I am just an intern here and following whatever they told me to do. If you have a problem with the solution, please discuss it with dev A.
Now I may have to let go of the issue completely because it turns out to be much more complicated, not for someone with intern level skill.
FML, I guess this won't be the last time I had this right?7 -
[Public Survey?]
I'm in a stressfull situation.
In 2 years, I will hopefully attend a university of applied science.
I have two ways to go.
I can still go on with Computer Science and up with a Bachelor.
Or I will attend a university where I will get my Bachelor in Aerospace Engineering.
I know that this place isn't really a place to discuss this sort of topic. But Idk how else I should solve it. I can not get rid of this decision. Even tho it's a personal decision, I also want to hear your opinions.6 -
Having to join an emergency meeting to discuss progress of an urgent resolution the very attendance of which just delays the fix. Then repeating the meeting every 30 minutes.1
-
Do I want to "block out some time to discuss synergies?"
No, thank you, I would rather eat my own knob.2 -
I hate every non -American in my office who tries to flaunt a stupid fucked up American accent when we are trying to discuss a logical problem. Fuck the accent , do you have a solution you fucked up asshole.2
-
Kinda annoyed at NDA's right now
Can't discuss what I'm working on with old classmates for another opinion. And my co-workers are self-taught on this job as they needed so everything I'm doing seems like magic to them
So they're probably not going to spark that inspiration I need right now
And I can't reach out to the R&D department full of programers with this cause they're heavily behind so we're told no distracting them7 -
Ranters in the US, do y'all want to try to organize a meetup? I'll be visiting the US in a while (hopefully, that is), so not anytime soon, but maybe we can at least form a group and discuss possible opportunities.14
-
Management: let's be agile... we can all meet and discuss a project that will take more than likely 6 - 12 months but you guys can estimate and create a road map....
Engineer: I'm not sure you understand agile3 -
Is anyone here with ASD? How are you cope with communication with colleagues? At the moment I'm junior dev and need ask and discuss more, but it's difficult to explain what I mean and make correct questions5
-
Me: Hey, can we schedule a weekly meeting at <day, hh:mm>? I can give you an update on my work and we discuss upcoming problems?
Superviser (assigned especially to me): Yeah sure, come over, I'm free at that time.
Said day he comes 1h late, missing the appointment. Talking later that day to schedule another meeting for the upcoming week, he confirms.
Appointed day he's not there again, working from home. This has happend a few times now. They expect me to update our shared calendar or at least write a mail if I'm not available. He doesn't.
Could you fucking not?2 -
Let 10 devs discuss the future git strategy. Close them into a room for 2-3 hours, provide snacks along the way. Let's see how many ideas arise and collapse and see who survives the fight.1
-
When you spend hours and hours on a group project at Uni only to learn that it's pass/fail and that the entire course grade is decided by a 20min interview with the teacher... And oh did I mention that the interview does not discuss anything about the code?
First rant btw, thanks for a awesome community!3 -
Recruiter: What are your expectations?
Me: I am flexible with the number. You must have allocated a budget for the role. We can discuss that number.
Recruiter: I have all the budget. Give me your number.
Me: 12.
Recruiter: That’s around 100% hike.
DIDN’T YOU JUST FUCKING SAID YOU HAVE ALL THE BUDGET?!3 -
*Task too simple but says "discuss about it"*
*I'm weary of its simplicity, it seems deceptive*
Me: hey, about this thing to discuss, what about it? Is there something I need to know about that I don't?
Boss: read the code
*I'm now even more weary of the task* -
Stay the fuck on topic
The amount of dailies, sprint reviews or the likes I had where someone started to discuss super specific technical details that only concern like 2 out of the 12 people in the meeting is just insane -
While addressing a Senior Dev's (SD) query from another team.
SD: why is this field mandatory? Can't it be just optional? Any other work around?
Me: Is your code changes already pushed in Devo? In that case, we provide a value which will work since you are not concerned about it.
SD: Yes. It's pushed till production. And, I want to test changes in Prod.
Me: (shared some codes) and explained that this feature for testing is only available in Devo.
SD: I know that. (Shared me a ticket) I want this field to be optional. That's it.
Me: (read the entire ticket. Didn't find anything related their) Told him, I will discuss with team. And meanwhile, for Devo, you can use this value.
Next morning, I accidentally came over some other ticket raised by him only which had the correct doubts regarding request to support this field in production
Now, I don't know why did he share a wrong ticket with me.
And, how will it even help him if that field was even optional.
THAT JUST WONT WORK IN PRODUCTION.
I will discuss with my team and see what can happen. -
Why project manager use group chat to discuss an issue which is related only to one developer, meanwhile other getting messages and notifications which they have no idea and putting their attention something they have no business?
Sometime I did not read message cause I think they are not related to me then I get personal message please check group.
Now other team members are using group chat when they want to discuss something with manager.
Why you people think scope of message before send it???1 -
Damn those 30+ mins long stand ups. A standup shouldn't last more than 10 mins. Discuss your detailed analysis of the project outside of the standup. 😤3
-
Today's interaction with indian recruiter who's recruiting for us based android dev role that requires experience with Augmented Reality and Virtual Reality.
Him: Hi.
Me: Hey. Nice to meet you! Can we discuss this role and etc.?
Him: have ar vr?
Me: have English?
Him: I think you dont understand ar vr.
Him: We need usa candidate anyways.
Him: Its augment or virtual.
Needless to say, insta blocked.9 -
As an ex-manager I now realize standups are used for control.
1. It sets a time when everyone must be present (might as well read-out names like it's school)
2. You, the manager, get to have people giving "offerings" of their work for you to approve, deny or bless with your gracious interest ("can you please stay on the call? lets discuss further")8 -
Hey guys how's it going, I just wanted to make a thread kinda rant to discuss various ways to keep devrant free of ads. I think as Devs we can solve this problem. Let's do this ☺
P.S - kindly share your thoughts, don't think it's shit, we can always discuss it.8 -
I see that many junior level programmers are being given fairly large take home programming test/projects. I think that if you interview someone and check out their git hub or discuss some code together you should not need to also do a take home test. You don't have good interviewing skills and are making your company look bad. I also think it is an incinerate way to waste a candidates time.1
-
Susup everyone 🙌
Can we discuss on which projects we r working currently
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Lets find coolest one 😍😍14 -
Changes in the sales process enabled users to break it. I fixed the problem and suggested how to corrected those broken sales. PM wants to make tomorrow a day of meetings with stakeholders and other PMs to discuss if I should get to spend few hours fixing it.
Guess Ill tell them then that I already wrote a app on my way home that fixes it..... -
I waa pretty sure fortune cookies were getting weirder... but seriously, it's gotten THIS bad? Not a fortune, nor a proverb, just a one-liner on political finance?
Just seems extra messed up that you can now be prompted to discuss national debt via fortune cookie from chinese take-out. We do owe the most to china afterall. Yet fortune cookies are invented by us(and typically one of the few things produced stateside). Just seems extra off...6 -
This has just happened
general channel to discuss sonos.
I have sales team less than 1m away.
this office is a fucking pub.
free beers, people telling jokes and
having non work conversations, free beer/wine.
The dream! unless you want to code.
if you want to code....ah NO WFH POLICY. -
When you invest days to come up with a better design of a system, and the moment you discuss with senior devs, and they present a even better design which they have already considered in their roadmap for a while..
Waiting for the day, my design is the better one and being accepted..1 -
The typical university project as a group:
- Discuss/Make somebody create the items in Jira: 2 days
- Implementation: 2 hours
- Tests: What are tests? Do I write them in my main method?
- Review/Someone sees the code: 9 hours
- Staging/Production: No one is ever going to use the "software"2 -
Customer QA team insists that they are the gate keepers for Test environment,
"Have to discuss this SQL change Test Manager" - me
.....
doesn't answer mails and refuses to answer phone,
Guess what fuck head,
Im gona thrash the shit out of this Database1 -
When the designer asks you for a meeting to discuss about some changes on Monday after you've just finished the entire front end working till late on Friday night...
-
TFW you are finally making progress on a project... and a ticket comes in. Ok, just knock that out... intern needs help. Ok, real quick, I'll help my man out... boss wants to discuss a new project. Ok... what was I working on?
-
None of my friends have interest in learning programming. But I have desire to become a programmer.
I am daily spending 2+ hours other than my work time in doing online courses. But I will feel good if there is anyone to talk and discuss the concepts that I learned.
I am talking and thinking in programming terms like ( Data structure , algorithm) within myself...
Guide me guys... !!!7 -
i received a job offer to work at area 51 on extremely sophisticated projects primarily as a c++ engineer. this is the highest pay offer i have ever seen, which i can not discuss right now, but what else to expect when you work for the government. i have bad perception about this. should i take this job or refuse?5
-
>Finds an URL that causes some sort of internal bug in a client's webapp
>Subsequent requests fill up the server's PHP-FPM slots, waiting for a session exclusive lock that never comes
>Effectively DoS's the server
>Sends it to a colleague to discuss the possible causes
>Uses slack
>Forgets Slack happily indexes any link it's given
>Slack almost DoS the service
FUN -
Monday morning meetings:
- Reminding designers what the app looks like to then discuss a defect.
- Reminding everyone else where the online meeting link is, despite the fact we have used it everyday, for the past 7 weeks. -
I've a collection of ViewModels:
ViewModelCollection
but there is a specialized version for model based viewmodels:
ModelBasedViewModelCollection
and from this I derived a furtherly specialized version that handles deferred adds:
ModelBasedViewModelCollectionWithDeferredAdd.
Now this is ridicously long. How would you abbreviate this?
This is the kind of questions that, if posted on stackoverflow, cause you to be downvoted to death. Maybe here we can discuss a little bit without me being banned right away :-)7 -
Let‘s discuss about freelancing.
Advantages and disadvantages of freelancing?
Why stay in a company and not start your own?
Experiences?3 -
She: Hello, I am ABC from XYZ. We saw your profile and interested to discuss an intern opportunity with you.
Me: Yes please.
She: So can you tell me about your current projects or work.
Me: Deep learning and blah blah. I am interested to work in cryptography or deep learning based work this summer.
[15-18 Mins Discussion on project]
She: Sorry but we are looking for Web Developer for our website to work on jQuery.
Me: oh! It's okay. [ fuck 😐]1 -
I teach one night a week at a local college. It makes my company look real good having a a developer who also teaches.
Tell me why they would implement a new policy barring me from using my skills outside of work? This only hurts them. Like, do they think I can walk up to the dean and drop the class as if I am a student? Uh, I will literally have to be in violation of this policy for the rest of the semester.
Scheduled time later to discuss a new job.3 -
Listening to a conversation between Juventus, Milan and Inter fans, it's like listening 3 programmers discuss who is the best language between Java, Python, and C#.
Of course, it's JS the best language :P :(1 -
People who use automatic code beautifiers and standards fixing scripts. 😠
Agreeing on a coding style with your team is important. But I really don't feel like reviewing the new guy's PRs if it's a thousand style adjustments and a tiny bugfix.
If you disagree with the current style, communicate about it so everyone can discuss and adopt new rules, and fucking fix the whole codebase in a separate PR.1 -
Implementing IM in devRant so devs can connect with each other, and get some private space, discuss new ideas. Change the world...3
-
Friend : Have you take a look at this part? We will discuss it this Friday.
What I want to say :
"Don't underestimate my ability to procrastinate, sleep on my problem, run away from my responsibilities, and don't give a sh*t about everything."
What I actually said:
"Of course but I will look at it again thoroughly."
_______________________
Maybe my frustration and depression are not showing enough on my face.
: /1 -
Did you guys' stubborness get you anywhere? Did it ever help you along the way? Did you ever discover new things because you wanted to do things your own way?
Let's discuss 🍵☕6 -
Anyone with good/certain experience in using UIkit?
I have started using it for one of my client's projects. There is no one I know of using it. So it will be awesome, if anyone can spare few minutes and discuss with me. (or answer my stupid questions :P)1 -
the colleagues discuss their juvenile motorbike memories and i am sitting aside like
10 print 'i tried to code'
20 goto 10 -
Spent days telling people what to do. What the database fields should look like, went down to every little bit, which was annoying because I hired them to think for themselves.
Spent a couple days verifying this and that. "Is this field really needed?"
Of course it's needed, otherwise why would it be in the specs? It took me two fucking days to communicate on these things they could have just done in half an hour.
They do it wrong. It's been clearly outlined and it's still wrong.
Management then insists on more communication so things don't go wrong. We have meetings every day to discuss what must be done. Every other day we have meetings between another project leader to discuss what we just discussed. Every two days we have progress report meetings.
We spend 70% of the time communicating now and everyone still gets everything done wrong. This is why you have to be really, really careful when hiring. Technical interviews can just be giving someone a spec and seeing whether they can do it. -
Do you guys think that the frontend or a javascript developer is an easy job? is less than a backend developer?
let's discuss5 -
When you complain about having too many meetings, and then get invited to a meeting to discuss other meetings FMDL 😡1
-
In summary, we're all agreed that we should have a meeting next week, to discuss what we should talk about in the meeting the week after.
AHHHHH! -
15 mins in our weekly dev meeting, boss comes in sits down and starts talking about a project. After that he stands up and brings one of the designer in and begins to make some stuff up we could add. Are you kidding me? That is a dev meeting, he is not even supposed to be there. How rude disturbing a meeting so he can discuss stuff we could discuss later-.-1
-
I feel really stressed about everything I want to learn. Everytime I hear someone talk about some new framework or I see people here discuss languages or stuff I don't know anything about, I want to learn it. Right now the list of things I feel I need to learn is so fucking big that I've no idea where to start. Also, I need to focus on my upcoming exams, so I've absolutely no time to learn or do anything. Backend, front-end, iOS, Android, desktop, OS development, everything. So much to learn, so little time.3
-
A meeting where the client's UX evangelist kept interrupting her CEO and our team's developers when trying to discuss an issue. Her reason? "I'm bored and you talk too much".
-
Hi Guys,
As you have seen this week again we have a problem with data imports from <tool 1> and <tool 2>. Clearly the existing setup is not working. We are now encouraging more and more people from the project to start using our portal and we need a stable and up to date environment.
Can we have a call please to discuss the following topics:
1. Portal data integrity
2. SLAs
3. Project Communication
4. Development efficiency
Thanks
<Drama Queen PM>1 -
Getting tired of old business types managing software projects... I really don’t care if you have fifty years of experience in managing loans in banks, please don’t try to manage software or data projects... this is sooo out of your realm of understanding.
PS I actually like this person, they are a wonderful human, but keep nosing in areas they have no knowledge, and derail the conversation from talking about things we actually need to discuss. Like “how do we build this?”5 -
I'm not a fan. Harder to collaborate and discuss things with coworkers. I'm constantly fighting the urge to turn towards my gaming pc and start playing something. I only have one monitor instead of the 2 I have in the office. I suffer from depression and the social isolation will definitely exacerbate that. The commute to my office is less than 15 minutes so I'm barely saving any time there. Pretty much the only benefit for me is not needing headphones to listen to music.1
-
Hello guys.
I'm not a newcomer here, I actually had an account 2 days ago, that I deleted in order to create a new one. I had to start fresh.
Anyway, after a long time of absence (one of the reasons I deleted my previous account), I'm glad I'm back here, and I look forward to discuss interesting topics with this community again!1 -
This teacher had a stack of paper that had the lesson and made us basically copy it down, when you were done move to the next lesson. If you showed him there was a mistake on the lesson he would check and if it was a mistake he would give you an extra mark. He allowed us to learn at our pace (except for when there was tests) and make mistakes and discuss how to improve something with those right beside us.
-
Trying to start a dev meetup with a friend, super excited but also nervous! I'm just a junior dev, absolutely overwhelmed by every aspect of the pool of knowledge available to me but absolutely excited to embrace it! I'm just a lowly angular developer but my aspirations are great :) I hope to bring people of unconventional ideologies together to discuss concepts in ways thay are... Well, unconventional!
Here's to learning, and growing!1 -
I'd really wish girls/women knew how fucking annoying it is when they are speaking loudly with each other at the company toilets, and stays there for 5-10 minutes to discuss what they did this weekend.
There are only two things I want/need to poop: SILENCE! and my phone.
I don't need the feeling of sitting in the middle of a Starbucks while taking a shit. -
Having worked for this company for around 5 months remotely,I still don't understand how how things works here..when to consult and when not to.. everyone am supposed to work with seems bussy with other staffs and keeps on postponing the meeting to discuss issues..I barely cannot withstand4
-
You know what annoys me...compnies dropping of the face of the earth. Like I take to the recruiter over the email. We set up a phone screen with HR and then with the Dev team, we talk about on site interview, WE DISCUSS THE TIME AND THEN NOTHING. Weeks go by and no emails or replies. Like what am I doing wrong here. This happened for the third time!2
-
I go on codementor sometimes even when I could probably figure out a problem by myself because I enjoy the company of a like mind and have no one else to discuss programming with .3
-
"Per our conversation [Redacted] would like to do a Teams Video call with you to discuss RonR opportunity with us."
What's RonR? I'll interview for a backend software engineer position with an offshore company3 -
When my mom asked what would I like to have - sweet corn or Avacado.
I said - Let's document all the possible approaches and setup some time to discuss pros and cons.2 -
I don't know if I'm projecting but I think my manager never agree with any idea I present to him. I had to bring an urgent implementation to VP for him to accept it. I feel like we, as a the team, stuck with whatever tech stack he chose, whatever he feels comfortable. No improvement, no challenge, no stat, no data; everything we do is just based on his feeling about things. He's not even 30 yet, but I feel like talking to a stubborn 60yo everytime I discuss an idea.2
-
Since this is a very serious, very important question, I'll tag ot correctly.
Glass vs metal desktop cases.
Discuss.11 -
So my friends started a group where we would discuss programming problems. Since I've solved quite a few they wanted me to help them out. And I sent them a problem from Euler's. Immediately after 2-3 minutes I get a link in the group which is the solution to that problem.
I replied "thanks I didn't know the solutions to popular problems were on Google"
He could've learnt in Google itself then 😑😑😑😑😑😑😑 -
Question...
Bout a month back went for an interview, went well, assessment and all that, but the company was busy moving so feedback was slow.
Last week got contacted by a client of a former company who is now also looking for a dev.
Company 1 just came back wanting to discuss offer, and company 2 will probably get back to me tomorrow.
Question is, there like any reason to disclose the info to them. The second guy I know, he was client for about a year.1 -
Working on an epic of financial gateway transfer. Following what our douche onshore guy had proposed, we realized there was a can of worms ahead.
Discussing the flow ( aka which service calls which, which file calls which ) with him over the call, we had to literally remind him the entire script of flow he had proposed.
At the end, he says, set up a call right now to discuss the ALGORITHM.
And at that moment, CLRS laughed their asses off.
Why the f--k, to coercely sound technical, does he say ALGORITHM to a FLOW of modular components ? -
Last year we had a meeting to discuss lessening the frequency of meetings and let people work more of the day. After a three hours, it was decided that nothing was getting solved, resulting in three more meetings to be added to the calendar to follow up.
-
Okay so I just watched captain marvel (after infinity war and endgame) and I learned that captain marvel got her powers from the tesseract, which is the power stone.
Thanos destroyed all of the stones.
Captain marvel retained her powers??
Discuss.7 -
Scrum standups and standdowns at my university be like: "oh let's discuss everything that comes to our mind and talk about it for an hour" - Professors 2016
(Only ranted this because I had to take a huge dump and had to hold it for a hour ;_;) -
I’m meeting an acquaintance who wants to discuss a web app idea they‘d like to have developed. I’ve always worked full-time and have no experience running a side gig, scoping a project or what questions to ask. I would appreciate any advice on how to approach this meeting and any resources that will help with scoping/pricing.3
-
Apparently some manager in the company found out that we produce less bugs if there are more meetings (there is literally no time to write actual code). At least that is the only explanation which comes to my mind WHY I HAVE TO SIT IN THESE SHITTY DISCUSSIONS THE WHOLE DAY TO DISCUSS THE SAME ISSUES AGAIN AND AGAIN.
-
I think a lot of “confession of having impostor syndrome” on devrant is false humility. You really are an impostor, it became sth like i am perfectionist lies in interviews. Discuss(or flame at me, whatever).2
-
I'm currently filled with equal parts of "curiosity" and "dread"..
About to go into a meeting arranged by Marketing to discuss the revamp of an old webapp. The terms "fresh new look" and "current day best practices" have been thrown around...
It's a Java 7 webapp deployed to Tomcat 7, with hard coded filesystem paths in JSP files.
Hmm.. maybe a little more "dread" than "curiosity", actually. 🤔5 -
Guys I want to seek help in datastructures is there any discord link which you know of where I can connect with programmers and discuss my results.
Plz mention it2 -
Asked for Git repo details and my manager replied, “Let’s discuss and close this in the office tomorrow.” I guess Git and patience both require good branching strategies! 🤦♂️1
-
Hello folks,
Need an advice for getting some freelance jobs on upwork (looks like the most promising). The thing is that I have revised my profile many times, I get jobs to reply to my invoice and discuss a bit and they seem satisfied but at the end they reject my invoice generally because of a lack of experience on upwork.. I mean it's a paradox God damnit! I have projects I want to offer a descent living for my lady and I with all my will I can't get more job.. -
Guys, actually i am a very slow coder, in the last two weeks my progress was very less hence today while meeting my CTO told me he is very disappointed with my progress and he will speak with my boss soon to discuss about me. Do you think he will fire me because of it? Actually i am working on react native and its very new to me. I am still learning stuff about it. But the tasks are kinda overwhelming. So i am taking this much time with it.10
-
Just testing the waters here and seeing what I read online has any basis to this:
Jenkins is the WordPress of CI/CD tools
...Discuss6 -
We met initially to discuss the requirements of the customer.
The customer had argued for hours in a damn video meeting with our boss, who apparently didn't know how to keep updated notes throughout the meeting.
The result of this meeting to discuss what the customer wanted:
He presented us with a 'spec' and a 14 hour video and said 'ok. so figure it out'.
This led to more meetings as I am not going to sit on my ass for 14 hours listening to people contradict themselves constantly.3 -
Do you make notes for the stuff you learn as a developer,
feel fee to discuss how you do it, like do you write a detailed blog post or write in your notebook6 -
What's really the matter with meetings?
I mean, we've all been annoyed at some point by some management person scheduling meetings we think of as pointless but I've actually found myself enjoying going to one where people can discuss and share ideas (dev related, mostly).
Sure, it's not great when you are focused and you have to stop to talk to some assholes sometimes but other times it didn't bother me to think they value my input/opinion somehow.
Surely the reason for their existence is not to make you waste time, right? 🤔1 -
On the office we have began to discuss which is best practice in a REST API when reference other objects.
Things like:
A)
```
{
"id": 1,
"field1": "value1",
"referenced": <id>
}
```
or
B)
```
{
"id": 1,
"field1": "value1",
"referenced": {
"id": <id>
}
}
```
I prefer B. What do you think?4 -
Sometimes you spend x amount of time preparing an offer for a larger project to a respectable client. Then you might have lunch with your friend who works for the competition and do some shop talk while you are at it. You discuss in general ongoing interesting projects without disclosing details.
Suddenly you realize that you both are working on the same project by the same client and the competition is already hired for the job. Then you realize that you are used for benchmarking. =D -
So it's a little bit annoying when your team cant follow simple rules and conventions to enhance the work, I mean, in a reunion we discuss what will be our coding conventions and have and agreement, but now nobody follows it and Ive to keep writing and pushing them to follow rules they created. The best thing is the leader agrees with him saying "we don't have time for following code conventions" but when the code has no comments, no docs at all, the names are absolutely unpredictable and stupid bugs start happening he calls a meeting "to discuss our problems" I mean, for good, the last time we did the same thing
-
Online resources that discuss testing recommend the following pattern when writing your unit test method names:
given[ExplainYourInput]When[WhatIsDone]Then[ExpectedResult]()
This makes developers write extremely long test method names.. and this is somehow the acceptable standard? There must be something better.. I think I've seen annotations being used instead of this.5 -
Im not asking for much really, I just think life would be easier if our environments were named something like integration, test, preprod etc instead of just numbers.
But no apparently we need to have a meeting to discuss the approach.
FML all i want to do is rename some environments, not re-structure the whole deployment process. -__-1 -
Im backend dev. I just had a meeting with the full team to discuss the ui design and implementation...
But I dont see my full team meetings to discuss the sofware design and architecture... u.u3 -
That part where some business people walk to your office expect you to listen them at once despite being really focussed.
And once you makeneye contact they drag you into a meeting room to discuss new stories which are not even close to be clear or ready.
End of the meeting your day has ended and you still didnt finish what you wanted that day. -
Every work call you have is a workaround. On call, if you explain something related to code or toolchain, it’s your failure at either documentation or choosing abstraction level. If you explain processes and task priorities, it’s your failure at management. If you discuss deadlines, it’s your failure at estimation.
If you’re an IT manager and do your job right, you should barely have calls.3 -
At the place I intern, we're managing a project that's quite old (about 8 years). There's a specification document that discusses features but the mentioned stuff has been subject to incremental changes over the years so that these documents no longer fully discuss exact specifications of a particular feature. I'm curious on how you keep track of such incremental changes to a feature? Do you update the specification document with the new requirement document or is there some other way to do it?1
-
Discover 2 days before go for a vacation week end that one of the customer servers will shutdown at midnight (the customer discuss and finally got other 2 days).
And that you to do a backup of 30gb of data before you leave and upload on the new server.
And in conclusion, as all the love stories, leave 2 day later that you didn't make in time because the original server is veeeeery slooooow. -
Can someone please suggest a chat I can join to hang out with sofware developers and discuss stupid? Any chat platform.6
-
God is the master programmer, Discuss citing various object oriented design concepts that he used. 😂2
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While working from home, we cannot discuss anything evil about our Manager (or others) as messages may be tracked.2
-
Sorry for the !rant...
Hi gals&guys I am looking for a new collegue (preferably from Hungary) to work with me. When I say collegue I mean a front-en dev/sitebuilder. The company is a new agency with 4 partners (and growing fast) with 1 being our investor too. I am looking here because I think anyone here who "applies" would be a perfect match. Interested? Have a question? Put a comment and will discuss. -
When i discuss about coffee (js) with my dev friends and some other gags be like order one for me.
My reaction -
Let's discuss devrant's new ui , upvote if you support the previous one and vice-versa.
I feel it hinders a lot while scrolling.1 -
I usually start with a sketch on my phone ( Thankfully, I use a Note device, which comes really handy ), make the data structures, Look for available resources, choose the language/library/framework to build with, discuss with some of my friends if they think its a good idea, if they do if they want to become its first customers, & after that I start coding and showing to my friends & get feedback & keep going until I publish it for masses
-
Redo the leetcode from yesterday
https://leetcode.com/problems/...
other people's answer: https://leetcode.com/problems/...-time-O(1)-space
I converted the java solution to javascript. -
What's the optimal dev to non-dev ratio at a workplace?
I switched from a 1:65-ish ratio to 1.5:2.5 ratio this year, and it was an improvement by all means. But I still feel so very alone, struggling with my many dev-related questions and really no one to discuss them with.
Under what ratio do you prefer to work? -
Account service needs migrating, to AWS cause thats where everything is going.
Manager has got it in her head that a document store would be ideal for this.
My knee jerk reaction was a big No, i was told we'd discuss this at a later time.
My main argument here is that data is inheritly relational, and now i'm looking for more.
Any ideas why a documentstore is not a good fit for accounts?
Thanks!1 -
Hey! It's been a while that I've been searching about projects documentation in order to develop a template for the company's projects.
My goal at the moment is technical documentation, like getting started (for new developers), the project's dependencies, conventions, etc.
Does anyone have suggestions of articles, books, or any resources about that topic?
Edit: I'm planning to build this template, discuss it with the seniors and then present it to the managers.1 -
I have two coworkers that discuss every day for hours about anything.
Past month they were discussing about Docker Swarm x Kubernetes and it’s impossible to work without headphones and loud music. -
What is Payday Loan? How Do Payday Loans Work?
In this post, we'll discuss what exactly a payday loan is, the payday loan application process, and understanding how exactly payday loans work.rant paydayloanswithbadcredit loansnearme instantapprovalwithbadcreditloans paydayloansonline installmentloanonline personalloansonline loansinusa cashadvanceloansonline loansfromdirectlender fastcashloansonline safeonlineloansfromdirectlender1 -
Me: Can you look i to those defects and provide feedback
Coworker: i am busy will try to do if possible
.....
Email from boss asking very casually about the status
Coworker response: all let us meet in next 30 mins and discuss and provide the status to me.
I am like: WTF where is your busy now 😡😡😡
In the meeting: just staring at laptop or phone and day dreaming.
I hope all have this great motivator in your team who motivate to look job elsewhere. -
Guys i need your help, i'm in my 3. semester where i have a REST project and therefore i need to implement some APIs and for this i shoud write a documentary where i discuss my decisions. And here is my problem
I need to implement a payment Api but i cant find a Big difference between the Visa and MasterCard Api, maybe some of you already worked with this api's and can help me out
What's better and why.1 -
“I’m just a person who types things for 1/40th of my value - and that’s life and I have no control over it - so, don’t bother expecting me to be able to discuss it... leave me alone - I was happy just not thinking... “
- people who didn’t upvote my rants
Hahahah / but not haha. Really: super depressing for them... -
I don't like when the tester asks me(developer) the expected result of a certain test-case.
I have built it with certain thinking and the user end might want something else?!.
The tester should check the use case and then decide or discuss it with me(developer)