Client asked to change the shade of blue to a little lighter shade. Deleted the hex code and typed the same hex code again and showed it to him. Instantly approved.

I just can’t imagine it.

( ._.) “Hey dude, I code. Do you?”
(.-. ) “Same”
( ._.) “Friends?”
(.-. ) “Friends”

And that's why there are scientific programming languages:

"Hey, you are the Java guy, aren't you? My Java is broken!"

Me: *Takes a look at the code*

if ("4+4".equals("5+3")) {
System.out.println("Same result!");
} else {
System.out.println("Different result!");
}

If it wasn't for coding I wouldn't have met my boyfriend. 😊

We started working at the same place and position with 2 weeks apart, and quite quickly we turned into best coding buddies which eventually turned into more!

2,5 yrs later we no longer work together in the same company, but we do live together and code together on side projects at home ☺️

Client: Why do I need to pay for a website. You're just copy pasting images and text from a word doc.

Me: There is a lot more to it, like code...

Client interupted me before I could finish: Why am I paying you for code I can't see!

Same client told me to "just phone google" to put their site on the 1st search page.

Code not working.
Comment out code.
Slowly rewrite it bit by bit till it works again.
Check against commented code.
They're the same.
Wtf.

Seven hours wasted on this shit :/

Sad story about refactoring.
Programmer: I cleaned up the codes, extract reusable methods, reduced repetitive code and improve overall readability and maintainability.
Manager: why the page still display the same.
Programmer: ...

With quantum computers, will my code be right and wrong at the same time?

When you made a commit that deletes more code than what it adds. And the features are still the same 🎉

Latest from my team,
One of the Dev copied code from a stackoverflow question.

Got same exception as highlighted in the question and started complaining that his code does not work.

I spent three hours coding some algorithm and then looked it up on Stack Overflow out of curiosity. Big surprise. Someone did the exact same thing but more effeciently, and had all the code in his answer on SO.

Ughhhhhhhh 😓

Me: Why is there such a delay between the app and the hardware device?

Colleague: Ah, same old same old, TCP is just an inefficient protocol. We should stop development and build our own replacement to TCP.

(PS. The actual problem was his code)

Had a blast this past week. Set my vs code theme to the same colors of xnxx.com..

Had a two different guys do a double take as they were walking down my row.

Dude, for the hundredth time, stop leaving random chunks of commented out code all over the place in case we "need to find it easily later"...

This is literally the reason we use git.

No, I will not pass it in a code review. The same as last time. And the time before...

Dahhhhh

Everyone should learn to code" is a movement to flood the market with Software Engineers so that salaries can be reduced.

Conspiracy theory that I just read on reddit and sounds about right.
Would you feel the same?

I got my first own office... We did it. We just painted our mini Iranian office in two nights and we about to code it,has 5 min distance to our college and it's a golden opportunity to work and study at the same time.

Code review:

- Almond: This method here is a mix of convoluted loops conditionals and ternaries... I really don't think we can pass this. Can we make sure this logic is a lot clearer?
- Bob: Oh, ok, sure. I'll work on that.

Next day:

- Bob: I've hopefully cleared up the meaning of that code now.
- Almond: Sure, let me look. Err... it looks the same to me? Have you done it in another branch?
- Bob: Oh no, it is the same, but there's a link in the code now to a PNG of a flowchart I put together in draw.io to show how it works.

...🤦‍♂️

left a company over 3 years ago because they wanted me to dumb my code down so that the other devs could understand it. they wouldn't allow me to use classes in my code lol. anyway, 3+ years later figured I would try to log in to some of the admin panels... passwords still the same. MySQL dbs... passwords the same... cpanel... passwords the same. smh. even if I still worked there the passwords should be changed every so often. top notch security right there. funniest part is they don't even do backups or use VCS for the code. sad sad company. glad I'm no longer there. my personal projects have more security, redundancy and fail over lol

Don’t use frameworks or libraries, just build the same code over and over on every project. 😒

Work today was good although put in 2 hrs of overtime....

But I optimized some code by changing out a class. Now it does the same thing except does it:

in SECONDS on my local PC

instead of 10+ MINUTES on a massive server.

while we were in the car...

mom: so what are u doing in your new job? you code in java?
me: no, i code in javascript, html, css and php..
mom: so thats java. how nice.
me: no, its javaSCRIPT.
mom: theyre still the same.
me: java and javascript are not the same
mom: but most people use java so why dont u just do it in java?
me: thats what ive been asking myself too in the past few weeks, why did i even accept this job

Who said u cant code and netflix at the same time ?

My colleagues broke down our AWS account by hard coding the AWS access API keys and pushing the same code to a public repository. This took down our system for nearly 3 days.

The code reviewer does the same.

Me: Hans, Get ze Flammenwerfer!!!

Hans: Why?

Me: The fucker rejected my PR because "calling twice the same getter is a code duplication". I swear, he always tries to find something!

And here Ladies and Gentlemen, we see some Code I hatte to discover.
(Actually the same method get's called)

I am an idiot. I wrote some 100+ lines of code months ago and I took another look today and it seems like it could've done the same thing in 3. Fuckity fuck fuck.

During code review:

Guy (also the same guy who pushes code without making unit tests): "Hey, this thing you added is unnecessary. Remove it."
Me: "Have you read the rest of the changes? It isn't unnecessary."
Guy: "Not yet"

166 lines of if else hell just to decide between prod and sandbox.

Run the same query multiple times to get the same data.

And that's all written by our code review team lead.

What a mess.

Today at work while reading legacy code:

do {
...
} while(false)

Wanna cry and laugh at the same time

Just Fixed a major issue in my code and the Sun came out at the same time! I feel like should I go out and scream on my balcony!

When you rewrite some sloppy idiot's code to be way clearer and straightforward. Then you fix a bug you introduced... and another... until the code ends up looking more or less the same as when you started...

Writing cool code might be your passion but shipping it is your job. Sometimes they are not the same thing unfortunately... and its ok!

The time when i learned to turn on the developer options ; i felt the same as a developer who has compiled his code without a single error. 😂

Is good code the same as clean code?

Clean code is hard to follow all the way through

I just finish "rebuilding" a page that I have built last year. My Js file (jQuery) went from 1200+ lines to 600..

I rewrite everything, the functionality is the same but the code is mush more cleaner.
Soo bad and redundant code.

Although comments where very helpful.

Feels good.

I often times write code and think to myself "I don't have to comment this, it's obvious what is going on", only to find myself back at the same code, figuring out wtf it does...

Do NOT "compress" your code by leaving out braces in control structures and putting the 300 char statement on the same fucking line as the control structure!
Yes, your code file becomes vertically shorter than the usual 3000 lines, BUT my brain tumor proportionally grows larger.

How to avoid haters on Stackoverflow:
1. Add this before your code: "Try the following:"
2. Profit!

Exact same code, but one is hated

I have previously seen this in a production code base. The same code base included nested if statements (20+ conditions)...

If (condition == false) {
return false;
} else if (condition == true) {
return true;
}

that moment when u run the code and it works, and then u run the very same code again and it fails.

Why does it feel like learning to code requires a building of endurance? Like training for a marathon, you have to build up to bigger and deeper learning sessions. Rewarding and frustrating at the same time.

I took my old project and I was like "Why don't fix it and open source it?". So from 2785 lines of code in main class, I've cut it to 1662 lines of code while keeping same functionality plus some more...

Just refactored 100+ lines of madness to 5 (FIVE!) lines of code. It's pleasing me and shitting me off at the same time.

Some people still get paid per line of code, I'm convinced.

Re-using the same variable for different things is *not* code re-use.

when you design and code at the same time

I was asked by a client to code review their platform built in PHP. The platform was becoming slow and new features built by their current IT supplier broke existing features.

I gained access to the source code... One PHP file (index.php) containing about 80K lines of code... I am impressed and disgusted at the same time. 😂

Everyone complains that a certain developer's code is not up to standard and when they have to take over his project the lack of code quality is really slowing them down.

I look at code, agree it is poor quality and put together a learning plan for said developer.

Also look at who approved every pull request which allowed bad code into our codebase. Same developers as those complaining it's no good. You had your chance to stop it!

Look at that desktop. Sexy and clean. I wish i could say the same for my code.. :-(

Nature replicates code same as a programmer does

Just reviewed collegues code: 80 lines of if statements that are so long that I have to scroll sideways on my 27" screen. Just wrote the exact same thing in 5 minutes and 10 lines! If you don't know how to use loops in your code please learn something different and stop pissing off skilled devs 😡

The same code works in the console but not in my script. Freaking hell.

Thanks, Capybara.

Same days you just need a duck.

Me: map.get(record.Id)

Code: null

Me: no, map.get(record.id)

Code: null

Me: let's grab this record from the map

Code: null

Me: what the flying fuck, take this fucking ID from this fucking RECORD and find it in THIS god forsaken map.

Code: null

Me:.......

Code: 😉

Duck: did it occur to you the ID exists only AFTER the map is created.

Me: you fucking wha..... oh I'm a dick head.

"Awwww I remember when I started to code :)"

That is for condescension when looking at shit code or:

"Wait, you code?"

For the same case

worst: having to code for 10 projects at same time.

best: completing all of them like a boss.

Reasons 1 and 2 arent that important to me. The main reason I code is #3.

1) Brain exercise. I always feel sharp after a coding session, even if it ended in disaster.
2) Lots to do! There's never a full day in code. Make your own universe, if you so desire.
3) Pride. I have a pride problem. I never felt proud of myself no matter what I do. I graduated with a melancholy feeling, same deal when getting my license, same deal when passing a test (God, glad that's over!)... But code makes me proud. I love what I make. I want to show everyone. I want to show it to everyone before it's even finished because I just can't wait. I want everyone to use it and to love it. Because I sure do, and it's the best thing ever.

I could make a viral video, produce a triple platinum record, or build a billion dollar business and still not feel the same level of genuine satisfaction and happiness that I may get from writing good code.

It always keeps me coming back.

A: Done job for today.
B: Let me check your code.
A: Sure.
B: Only 6 lines of code in a day?
A: Yup, 6 line of code is better than 1000 thousand line that can do the same thing.
B: 😑😑😑

# Showing code so everyone knows it's the same code/file being executed.

Interesting in the difference of the time it takes.

I made 50 USD off of 4 lines of code today.

I am depressed and happy at the same time.

Self documenting code is a fucking myth you bloody sheep.

Write “self documenting code” then add a fucking comment or two explaining why the fuck the code deserves should be there because nobody can see what the fuck it is doing or understands how the whole collection of microservices works. I’m sick of spaghetti code bullshit full of accidental redundancy because it is impossible for anyone to realize why something is there at a glance.

I renamed different “Contract” classes today by adding numbers before code review.
Contract
Contract1
Contract2
Contract3
All of these classes are supposed to be the same but somehow they aren’t and you self documenting dumbasses missed it. Don’t gripe about the numbered classes in the repo… fix the fucking code and collapse the classes so we don’t have four sections of code describing the same fucking structure from a http get with different interfaces because four people couldn’t read the whole like some fucking computer.

When you're working on the same project and git branch with another intern and he decides to make copies of the files and rename them to avoid having to merge his code with yours. ._.

Had to hand in as assigment for my algorithms & data structure course and really put alot of work into it, commented code, easy to understand and all.
"Why are you showing me copied code from the internet?" was the professors answer...
I did not copy any code and some algorithms often look the same...

The bad thing about programming is that you can copy paste working code from a previous program on the same machine, same IDE and it still won't give a fuck.. I'm currently here.

What a nightmare... writing code with 5 other people at the same time.

When your code works perfectly fine, and you go to dinner and return and the same code starts crashing.
And I'm like.....
.... Is my computer doing things on its own while I'm away from my desk?..... :/

WTF is the point a
of auto-generated documentation. Some dude litterally thought it was a good idea to read the code and write the exact same shit differently. WTF IS THE POINT!?

Documentation takes work, sorry, stop being lazy.

Writing a super extensive project in php. Twice so far, I have had weird problems of codes not working.

But everytime I copy/paste the SAME code from another file, IT MIRACULOUSLY WORKS!!!!

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!!!

So i helped my friend write a program and i sent it to him. The next day he told me that the code dosent run, so i asked him to show me the errors and apparently he thought C and C++ is the same thing and was trying to run my C code as C++ code...

Quote of the day
"Writing code without thinking of its architecture is useless in the same way as dreaming about your desires without a plan of achieving them."

That literally hit me hard

Spent about 30 mins configuring a bluetooth speaker on Ubuntu before starting to code, tottally worth it
Programming would't be the same without music

You have 5 devs on a team at least 3 of them are working on the same code and there is no version control and we have to rely on looking at when the file was last modified....FML!!!

My friend in 2016 : I will learn how to program and quit this miserable job.

My friend in 2017: Wow programming is taking off I need to learn how to code

Just waiting for the same message in 2018 now...

So to start off, I am a hipster. Guilty as charged. A few months ago.

Me and my work's programming team decided to enter a hackathon. Note, I had never stayed awake for 48 hours straight programming before.

It was late and I was waiting on programmer 1 to finish writing a class so I can finish a part of the network code. We were all working on the same git repository, same branch for some reason at the time.

So I started just writing in random comments in the code while waiting. I finally got to complete the network and committed my work.

They both made a pull about the same time and both my boss and coworker turned around at the same time.

I had written a comment
// Ya know those glasses I wear to work everyday? They're not prescription. They're fake.

The look of disappointment just staring me down was absolutely priceless. And the fact that they both read the comment at the same time.. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

When you’ve been stuck on the same issue with your code for 4 days 😔

Code comments #1: A way to document bad code that wasn't reduced to it's essentials and thus unreadable. Bad.

Code comments #2: A way to explain for non-programmers how the code works. Wrong place.

Code comments #3: Company policy. No one really knows why, but others do that, so we better do it to. The management sucks.

Code comments #4: Because some hip methodology/guru describes how to document code. After a few years, when the methodology has been (unofficially) forgotten, everyone still comments the code the same way. The old management sucked.

Code comments 5#: For insecure programmers who want to convince them self they understand the code they've written. Maybe apply at McDo?

Code comments #6: Some programmers are apparently paid by lines of code. Possibly understandable.

// Comments, anyone?

The joys and sadnesses of being a Teaching Assistant also include witnessing and sending half of the students taking the course to the Exam Committee when they all copied the same code from StackOverflow. At least I don't have to correct their assignments ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Slept for two hours tonight because of my baby girl... I've been staring at the same piece of code for an hour or so.. Had 2 double espressos.. Didn't work.. Ppl talking to me and im like...

It isn’t easy being a programmer. They code all day, debug all night and go through thousands of code lines trying to clear up all possible messes before going live with their code. Sometimes, it takes a fellow programmer to understand the hardships of another programmer. The same can be said of their jokes.

Debugging a HTML code from 2 hours which was working fine..

Ah!! No 2 elements should have the same id

Taught myself to code in the wee hours while my wife and son slept after working and finishing my actual collegiate schoolwork. I continue to learn daily and the process is pretty much the same, minus the schoolwork.

Hundreds of PHP files with same name and _# at the end to differentiate them - each containing hundreds of
$(document).ready(function() {
$(some_slector).on(some_event, function() {
//one line of code
}
}

When you find another student code..... it repeats the same code for the LCD in 340 lines of if ;-)

Me and the unofficial CTO (3rd party's CTO) are interviewing an ios dev. (I'm an android dev, btw)

CTO: In your view, would you find developing an ios app would be faster or at the same speed as an android dev?

Me: *shock*

Canidate: I've never developed on Android before, but I'd think it would be the same speed. We both need to make screens, views, and type code.

When I implemented a new algorithm in C and beat the previous implementation of a tool by 5 seconds in speed (17s best case before) and my mentor implemented the same algorithm's pseudo code beating the previous implementation by 14s.

I FUCKING HATE SWIFT
THE SAME CODE DOESN'T COMPILE

I know its supposed to be the same since it is built on Electron. But vs code looks waaay better on a Mac than it does on windows. I think its funny.

Have a great weekend.
I hope your code behave the same as it did on friday.

It feels like no matter what i fucking try at this point, the universe is doing everything in its power to stop me from succeeding.............. I got so fucking depressed that i am literally writing code and crying in the same time.........

did you know, that in PHP, you can do:
if ( ! function_exists('function_name'))
{
function function_name()
{
//code of the function
}
}

which apparently means you can do
if($var == 'something'){
function functionName(){
//some code
}
} else if($var == 'something else'){
function functionName(){
//some completely different code
}
}

so now, apparently:
1. before this code executes, the function doesn't exist at all (okay, i can live with that)

2. after this code executes, any call to that function can result in any of those two completely different bodies of the same-name function executing, depending on what the $var was set at that time?

...so... now not only the same call to the same(name) function can do two completely different things, *but if you change the value of $var afterwards, you can't even properly find out which version of that function is in effect for the remainder of the run of the script*...?????

WHAT.
THE.
...i mean... I can't help but think that the idea of conditional function declaration like this is... kind of cool (have I been warped by JavaScript too much?), but at the same time... WHAT THE FUCK.

I wanna have 8 arms.

Two to rip heads off.

Two to tear people apart.

Two to wank.

Two to code.

All at the same time, best.

Troubleshooting code...
Me: "ok cool did that fix it?"
Program: [same error]
Me: "alright, so can I break it harder?"
Program: [new error]
Me: "now we're getting somewhere!" 🎉

Got convinced to work with a boss who seem to know it all in tech.

I honestly thought he knew tech, to code at least.

And then one day he referred to Java as the same as JavaSrcipt.

Oh no.

Biggest achievement : code which ran last evening , works same way in the morning 😂😂

When the previous dev has written all datetime query lookups by date only, resulting in any values for the ladt day of the month to not be included.

THANK YOU.

Same wanker has copied and pasted same 100 lines of code over and over and literally changed one value in between. Obviously never heard of a function.

So today my pr needed approval. One of the lines of code created a unique ID using the uuid4 functionality.
I got a reject saying I didn't handle a case where I would get the same uuid twice.
Well, I guess it would be the problem of the developer working on my code in a couple thousands of years 🤷‍♂️

Been trying to learn code for almost two years now, started with C++, took a break because I couldn't figure out what to do with the knowledge, started Python 'cause I thought I'd be inspired by scripting and automating stuff, same thing happened, switched to java, same problem, aaaaaand I'm back to C++ and still can't figure out what the fuck I can do, I don't code anything and I'm tired of following tutorial in the hope of getting something interesting done
Long rant I know but fuck I'm so depressed about that...

I have never believed that it would come to this. I am writing a javascript code exam on a paper. Honestly. I always laughed at posts where I saw code on paper, but now... I'm the same xdd.

My biggest fear about publishing open source code is people looking at it and having the same reaction a have when I get back at my old code.

When I am asked to do something and the next day same person asks to change what was changed the day before.
For fuck sake do a prototype and fucking change that and not the actual fucking code 😒😒😒

C++ type fuxor we found by accident in our code. I am not upset about allowing 2 different types to have the same type name. I am upset that the compiler thinks they are the same type and allows pointer assignment. I didn't know you could fool the compiler this way. I suppose this might be useful if the types are in sync. But damn, this is kinda fucked.

IHateForALiving: I created a trigger on the model, every time you perform a save it should fire an event. You're calling the same methods I am, and the trigger is NOT firing. Are you sure we are running in the same process?
TheTeamLeader: I'm manually starting this whole piece of code in your same process, there must be something wrong on your side if it's not working

90 minutes of debugging later

TheTeamLeader: there's the thing! Your hooks are registered in a separate process, of course they are not firing
IHateForALiving:

Most useless feature: an extension that did the exact same thing as an opensource extension so that the company could hide the code and not include licenses (???)

ps.: they obviously used open source frameworks and libraries

Going through legacy or other developers code which don't have documentation or even comments. Plus the author of the code is not working in same organisation anymore to consult. We have to understand the code like deciphering any ancient language. 😥

The frustration that comes to each developer when he tries to write the code structured by thinking through each situations, and your team lead comes and tells you why r you doing so much validations just hard code them we need to release it today client is waiting. After 3-4 months the same team lead goes through the code and shouts at you telling why the he'll you hard coded all these, can't you write the code correctly by thinking through.

Just looked at a fellow devs code (has 4 years experience). His test rig has the same 5 lines of code, copy pasted in the same file ... 400+ times.

What is the appropriate action to take?

Cause with enough experience and time I can do anything anyone else can and more.

A painter can paint a painting by hand, I can paint the same painting by code.

A musician can create a song on an instrument, I can create the same song by code.

A teacher can teach. I can teach a computer to teach teachers how to teach.

I am both happy and sad looking at the code I wrote some time back. It makes me realize how much I have learned and at the same time how stupid I was.

Have a nice weekend programmer's!!!!!

I hope your code behaves on Monday the same way it did on Friday.....🤣😂🤣

Is it just me or do any of you people also hate asking for help with understanding other devs code?

At the same time I also hate explaining my code to other devs, like I have to justify I'm not an imbecile.

VS Code for sure. Same experience on win/*nix systems, built in debuggers, terminals, flexible configuration. I am so deep in love and can't recommend it more

I like to build, tinker, and create with code.

That doesn’t mean I like to fix your computer, diagnose your internet issues, teach you to use your desktop UI, or google the same question you asked me to show you google has the answer 😑

I had a long dream about code .. I woke up serval times and still continued the same dream and continued coding didn’t and I didn’t finish it when I finally woke up.

I don’t know what the code does, and I never run it in the dream!!

Happy Monday I guess

That moment when you click a Google link at the same time your code finally launches your app ... and you say "Hmmm, how did Google redirect me to localhost:8000?"

Serious question: If a highly intelligent being, better than humans, is about to code something, how would they probably do it?

Will they use the same concepts like control flow, iterations, types, operators, object inheritance, etc?

If they are quantum capable, how can they code with booleans when it can be both true and false at the same time? Will they code truthy and falsy with another dimension like time-space temporality?

Do their code simultaneously modify the hardware or bio-hardware as it iterates over the outcome of the code?

Does input and output even relevant to them?

How do they represent infinites?

Do they have similar github workflows or they telepathically update the source code?

Do they embed their program in their DNA? Then pass to offspring the codes they already created?

Do they code using a language or do they use some frequencies and material science that simultaneously show real world output?

And do they have their version of devRant?

Just did a performance benchmark of my project written in OCaml and I have to say, I'm really surprised by how fast OCaml is.

There are several other implementations of the same algorithm in other languages and the OCaml code beats almost all of them.

The “if” statement works the same in every* language, so if you can code in one language, you can code in most of them.

*Terms and conditions apply.

When you are all assigned to make one specific program but get called out for plagiarism for making the same program even though the code is different. Great job

Here's what overthinking sounds like -

My mom was watching me coding on VSCode and said - You just type things in colors and get paid.

I thought - wow i never thought about it that way. For me it's syntax highlighting but to someone else it's writing code in colors.

This must be the same way for butchers where they don't think how precious life is - killing animals is just a part of their job.

Same with child traffickers - They don't care about human lives or emotions. It's a job for them to do what they do.

Same with military generals or assassins.

Visual studio is rather silly.

In one project, just changing the character set to unicode was enough for the program to work.

In another project, exact same code, I also needed to add a command-line argument to enable unicode.

Isn't. That. Just. Silly.

I will never ever see, play, or think about video games the same way again. Even playing all my childhood games is never the same.

I will now forever see the game from the inside out, imagining what code the devs might have written to achieve what is happening: sprites, audio, triggers, AI algos, etc. No longer is a player or character just a player or character; they're sprites, animations, classes and variables and method calls. o.o

Same goes with code, when you reopen your project after 3-4 months.........

A week with flutter:
1. I like how simple it is compared to React Native
2. Same issues as react, want platform specific, good luck writing plugins. Though the upside is I can use Swift and Kotlin with it, but still mixed code is bad

I am working as a functional consultant in a project and I setup a source control for a project for better code management....

I wanted to review the code and realized developers have been checking in zipped source code in that....

Checked with Dev Lead and got to know that's how they have been managing code till now in other projects in SharePoint so they are following same practices here

It takes two people two days to write a code
It takes one person one day to write the same code

time management and programming belong in the same realm

like i code at 9am then i take a sip of coffee, and then its 12am

Ugh! So boring writing the same thing over and over! So instead I wrote a ruby script to generate some C# code for me!

Honestly...I just make excuses to do stuff with Ruby 😂

Have a great weekend!
I hope your code behaves the same on Monday as it did on Friday.

Couple years ago I was asked to add couple of simple features to a piece of code on clients server. I thought it was simple process until I got the code and noticed that the variables were named like int1, int2, int3... etc. Also same logic in the database.
Needless to say I spent too much time to figure out what those variables and db fields contained. Also the whole code was copy paste code from the web.

When git blame tells you name@example.com wrote the shitty code, but he is actually reusing the address that was assigned to a former colleague with the same name.

!rant
when you find 3 spelling errors in the same line of code and realize that these are legit 'cause the objects and methods are actually coded misspelled.

That's when no one dare doing code review but simply it builds and its fine.

Luckily #NotMyCode

That moment when you feel that you are a great developer ready to do some pull requests to the framework you are using and then you check the source code of it and wonder if that's even the same language.

tabs vs spaces
i hate it when i cant find where i used spaces instead of tabs. just a simple mistake and it doesnt work

me: *codes makefile in codenvy*
terminal: *** missing separator. Stop.

me: *rewrites code exactly the same way in Notepad++*
me: *copy paste code to codenvy*
terminal: *compiles whole project*

wow. just wow.

Sometimes devs are missing social skills. I felt that today.
I did not know the social code of conduct when leaving the hospital masurbitary room and meeting a colleage about to use the same room I just used.

I'm writing c# code, does not work, wrote the same code in python just to see if I'm thinking the wrong way, nope, it worked in python then fixed the c# code...
I might be a c# racist or I don't know.

I need to build multithreading in my brain, i want to learn at least 8 new code languages and techniques at the same time(not to mention normal languages)

Committing code with the same commit message although you refactored several times and changed the structure

Does LUA have anything similar to the GIL in Python? Because my code seemed to be updating the same piece of memory at once

the best part about development is that all code looks the same to most people - including devs

so long work assignments and hello command-line digdug

I find it so ironic that people love to rag on those who copy code from StackOverflow when most of these same people use tools like composer or npm.

At least you can vet code snippets.

Wrote some code. Didn't work.
Cleared all build caches, deleted project files and re-opened the project from scratch. Code still doesn't work.
Copied the same code over to a new project. Works.
I FUCKING HATE DAYS LIKE THESE!!!

Damn... I like VS Code and at the same time I fucking hate how slow this garbage "editor" has become.
Can I haz rewrite in Rust? 🥺

Code doesnt work, i dont know why
*comments then uncomments same line*
Code works, stilll dont know why

Spent all day refactoring lots of confusing code down to just a few lines. I am satisfied, frustrated and drained all at the same time.

Sometimes I want to show off some fancy code to non-programmers. Then I remember basic code would do the same.

My fights with other devs always revolve around the position of curly braces:

Should they be on the same line or should they have a whole line just for themselves?

I mean, if they go on the same line you have less lines of code and you can fit more into the same view, but putting them on a new line makes it all a little less messy

What's worst than having a horny gf and errors in code at the same time?

Working on some 2 year old php code don't know who has written it.
Found a function with some 500 lines of code and there is 3 times MySQL connection is initiated overriding same fucking variable with hardcoded database parameters in all of them
What the fuck man😦😦😦

Plus I have just started revewing the code there are tons of files and everywhere connection is hardcoded.

Completed a project in summer for a client based on Laravel and kept working on other projects based on same framework. Today went back to add some functionality ended up feeling miserable looking at my own code. Don't know how to feel about this.

Don't drink and code same time😁

Einstein: Insanity is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results.

Me [After my code fails to compile]: Let me change nothing and run it again.

I've been staring at the same section of code for about two hours now. I want to solve this puzzle and design it properly. I'm desperately trying to resist the urge to hack it. Not sure I can hold out much longer...

Learning to code is like learning to write when you were younger. It can be sloppy or clean but if you keep at it it'll probably become clean. But, with these sites like code academy that accept only one solution to the problems they present it's as though you're being told that everything you're doing is wrong eventhough you get a solution to the problem in the end. It bugs me that these sites want people to code the exact same way.

The cool feeling when you see your static analyzer that compare previous version and future release and code quality is improved.

At the same time the bad feeling because you was the same dev that made the previous version.

Oof, scope creep

Come back to an 8 month old project and I can't update the website because something in webpack needs something in python to compile... Um why. Literally just a poster with some images and a markdown parser.

So I spent 5 hours and 850 lines of code later modernizing the code and... I have the same website again but now it compiles. Woo?

*writes programs with variables for arguments*

Runs.. Crashes

*removes variables places exact same code in parameter list*

Runs.. Succeeds.

I don't understand you my GPU

I wish I could sleep and code at the same time

Wish we could code and sleep at the same time.

<rant>
How the hell do these people have a senior position?
<rant-cause>
Sdev:"The are no vulnerabilities in my code because i have Avast running at the same time"
</rant-cause>
SecOps: "<insert potoo bird reaction>"
</rant>

Having a CTO who was a strong backend developer, has zero understanding of UI/ UX and frontend part of code is funny as hell, weird and scary at the same time.

Today I saw a 200-line function named Apply and a 200-line function with different code, but does the same, named TryAgain...

Swagger superposition: the generated server now works but the local hosted editor does not connect. I look at one screen and wonder: "Why does this work?" and then at my other screen (same code, same port) and think "Why DOESN'T this work?"

First thing Wednesday morning, fired up the macbook, opened vs code, ran the same unit tests that were passing last night, 1 failure! FML.

For some reason an Angular form that was valid with the same data last night isn't this morning. Probably some crappy date issue in the mock data

Immortality in the sense like Matrix did it would be quite handy. Imagine you could become a program like Smith and be able to change your own source code, clone yourself with the same thoughts, knowledge and past.

Well, unless someone turns your machine off.

Do you ever look at old code from years ago a think “god that was bad”? I’m so embarrassed by something I wrote on 2010, it’s shockingly bad!

I actually feel a little low and think maybe I’m not very good! Of course now my code is so much better but think to myself, is what I’m writing now gonna be the same down the line?

This guy was editing a code file but compiling and running a differnet version with the same name in a different location and kept asking around not knowing why nothing was changing

I just copied the exact same code from another program into mine, actually left out a loop because I didn't need it. Also took some other stuff out, nothing much, just some var = othervar that I didn't need.

The other program, from where I copied the code, works fine, is fast, I see no issue, has been in production for a while now and no complaints. Mine, WITH THE SAME CODE, doesn't move. I don't understand how this is possible.

Can't decide between the guy that used gedit to code and the guy who wouldn't read the documentation.
Wait, that was the same guy!

So my code wasn't working and couldn't understand why. I had a statement like someVar == 'A' but when I wrote the letter A I didn't change my keyboard language from Greek to English and I didn't notice because the letters are the same in both languages. Spent like 8 hours commenting out and debugging code just to re-write all the code cause I thought the compiler is broken or I am losing my mind....

We have 4k Monitors and SSDs with more than 120 GB, why there are still new projects that use a formatting style that doesn't have a clear relation of the opening { and corresponding closing }. i.e. put them either on the same line or column?

Please don't write code where the imaginary line between the { and } goes diagonally over other parts of the code. It makes it unreadable and my brain hurts from looking at it. Its better to have readable code and "waste" some lines and bytes for code that is easier to read.

Same code, same chip, different platform and compiler(arm64 and amd64) and exactly one bit flipped on the chip init from the same binary, is this even possible...

The „UI-God“ in our team has never heard of dry or clean code.
Clashing classnames for modules in global namespace, gives a f* about patterns, naming conventions, structure and everytime I rebase it breaks my code.
I need the same amount of time fixing his work as he spends on it.

Just went to my highschool's computer science club meeting. My first annoyance was that they were going to have a 'girls who code' thing...But, they were in the same group as general population. So, essentially, it's separated between girls who code and human beings who code.

Then they said that they would likely be using Eclipse throughout the year. We may be having a bit of a debate

The code is under "GNU General public license as published by the Free Software Foundation, either version 3 or any later version" and I used it as a reference.
Should I redistribute the my new code under the same licence and make the source open? Should I make just the component open source or the entire app?

When your co-worker asks you to implement a fix for a problem in his code..

Reading yourself into his code, then you see him having fixed the same problem several lines above in another method.

We have all run the same code although it didn't work the first time. And it never worked the second.😂😂

When your senior says he may as well stops working as I'm always refactoring his code...

Same sentence says I copy what you've done in other places so I don't see why it isn't good enough. By copy he leaves redundant code in there too.

Am I a being a douche is he just being over the top?

- He writes code and expects it to live for a long time.
- I write code and will go home and refactor my own code.

That moment when you find a function called with faulty arguments or a referece mistaken and fix it and code actually works now aaaaand you wake up.. i started to dream about the same code cause i keep rewriting it for different reasons.. what a life

If I have to train one more person, or answer the same question for the 100 times I'm gonna loose it. I just want...need to code

So my friend had an idea for a game and asked me if I could help him develop it. Now, he understands how the code works and can even write quite a bit himself. On several occasions (including today) this happened:

*writes code*
*tests code*
Me: Hmm... this isn't working like it's supposed to
Friend: It looks pretty good, maybe check to see if everything is in the right order
*checks code*
*tries alternative solution*
*checks again*
Me and friend: Well this is even worse than before
*presses ctrl+z a lot to go back to the original*
*opens new project*
*writes new code for same purpose*
*checks code*
Both of us: IT WORKS!!!
*checks again just to be sure*
Both of us: IT STILL WORKS!!!
*compares new code to original code*
Me: It's the exact same code with different variable names!!! Why did this not work before?
Friend: No idea
*puts new code into main program*
*it still doesn't work*

Reasons Java makes me cry sometimes

Hi. Quick question, I came across a rant that described the best tools for a designer to help developers be on the same page for the prototypes. Can you guys suggest some? I remember there was one that shared the same exact hex color or code for UI/ux interfaces between designers and developers.

when people attribute you as the author of bad code you didn't write, as you receive PR feedback to update it

when you are updating something different in the same area

Neovim,
I can code, git, ssh, reddit, mailbox, Spotify all at the same window.
With coc-explorer you can switch between your buffer just like VSCode

> push code on staging and promote on production works fine
>.come home
> pull from master and code doesn't work locally
> pull from the feature branch, same issue
> fml

I'd be so fucking disappointed in myself if I hadn't pushed it and merged it.

Sigh, I have this terrible habit where I make and run my code in the same command. I'll spend an hour wondering why my bug fix didn't work and it's because the make never succeeded, but the code runs anyways. 😒😒😒

I have to stop refactoring everything. 4 weeks on one of my private projects and I'm still on the same place. But I have refactored the code like 4-5 times now ...

try{
someObject.someAttribute = (int?) reader["columnName"];
}catch{
someObject.someAttribute = null;
}

Or, same coworker, another piece of code:

if(((int?)reader["foo"]).HasValue){
bar = (int?)reader["foo"];
}else{
bar = null;
}

I wrote my first code in 5th grade in QBasic, together with a friend who introduced me to it. We made a math "game", with hard coded problems, so you'd get the same questions everytime you played ;D

My biggest dev regret is being complacent in my programming ability from way too early on. I learned a bunch of stuff from intro programming classes (which I always brushed off as "unnecessary" and "boring") because I was too ignorant to accept that writing the same Python code over and over wasn't progress. I'm way behind where someone with 7 years of programming experience should be, because I spent 4 of those years writing the same garbage.

"X ? true : false"

I love seeing these :D

Clearly a decent attempt at simplifying the code and at the same time missing the mark.

Man I hate how CSS is treated differently on different operating systems using the same browser, let alone making the same UI heavy application perform identically on android chrome and iOS Safari.

Messing around with the css to figure out what all properties are treated differently, this is how the exact same code behaves on chrome on iPad versus Linux.

Look, I'm not a CSS genius, far from it, BUT it really shouldn't be this bad to make a responsive UI heavy application work on all platforms. I've been at this for weeks now.

You make edits to your code, then you deploy.
But the behavior remains the same.
You try to figure out why your new code doesn't get executed.
Try other cases.
Try changing this.
Try changing that.
Still no changes.

Then you realize you deployed to a minimized emulator* the whole time.

* replace emulator with device/server/whatevs

I should try to put ascii arts of pepe memes instead of meaningful error handling messages in my code, this way I would know for sure if people are actually not just patching fucking try catch silence everywhere instead of doing proper code.

I should probably do the same with documentation as well while being at it.

Tldr:
Can't fucking figure out why I'm the only one who can't solve a DP problem in code, when me and friends use the same idea and no one knows why only mine doesn't work...

We are given a task to solve a problem using DP. My friends write their code with the same idea as a solution. Copying the code is not allowed. I follow the same idea but my code won't work. Others look into it, in case they find errors. They can't find any.

The problem (for reference):
Given a fixed list of int's a = (a_1,a_2,...,a_n) and b = (b_1,b_2,...,b_n), a_i and b_i >= 0, a.length == b.length
We want to maximize the sum of a_i's chosen. Every a_i is connected with the b_i at the same index. b_i tells us how many indexes of a we have to skip if choosing the corresponding a_i, so list index of b_i + b_i's value + 1 would be the position of the next a_i available.

The idea:
Create a new list c with same length as a (or b).
Begin at the end of c and save a_n at the same position in c. Iterate backwards through c and at each position add the max value of all previously saved values of c (with regards to the b_i-restriction) with the current a_i, else a_i + 0 if the b_i-resctriction goes beyond the list.
Return the max value of c.

How does that not work for me but for the others?? Funny enough, a few given samples work with my code. I'm questioning my coding ability...

If I just try another way to do the same thing my broken code tries to do, either the new version makes my mistake obvious or everything just works.

Is this debugging? It's just rewriting. It seems faster than debugging.

!rant

So I'm making the system for my University's cafeteria.
Pretty ez and all but THIS FUCKING PAGE, THIS GOD FORSAKEN PAGE JUST BUGS.

I'll elaborate: Basically I have a bunch of pages that bring up some pie charts and a .pdf of earnings, all of them work and they are pretty much cookie cutter so I can re-use the code. But this random one, with the same code, repeats the same entry a couple of times.
And by god have I tried to change every variable, code format and minimal shit. Still doesn't budge.

Guess I'll have a cheeky ciggy break and try to fix it later when I'm not steaming my noggin

Ps: yeah yeah, shitty jpg quality but its the "Busca Unidade" field that just cloned itself 7 more times underneath