new rule in company

No headphones while coding

job hunting start......

Perfect meme

How to calculate walking distance

Km/m/inch ❌
3 songs ✔️

Windows. 😂😂

* The app is almost ready, boss asked me to show the progress.

Boss: The design is bad, I don't like it 🤔
Me: I just implemented the design, which is approved
Boss: Really? because I "feel" that the design is bad on the screen.
Me: Okay 😐, can you tell me what exactly the part to change?
Boss: I don't know, *calls the designer
Designer: *showing his PSDs* yes it is the same, and you [the boss] approved it.
Boss: Ok make some changes to make it feel better.
Me: (Inside: 😡 ) ok, have you some suggestions?
Boss: dunno,
Me: at least tell me what is wrong with it
Boss: dunno
Me:🤢

When I Made Passworts visible in Chrome and the teacher sent me home...
...It was Friday!
Ps:
She sent me home because she was really fu**ing scared of what I did and even called my Parents

I have mouse
I have WordPress

Uh! Web developer

First day of job

Train cancelled.

🤷

Client: we need extraordinary website in ordinary price.
Me: ohk *google search* WordPress free theme.

The interview was for an internship, I was so nervous about it and thats how I fu*ked it.

Q: So you have studied OOP?
A: Yes Sir, I have studied OOP in C language.
And the rest is history. 😃😃

Real Chat with new female friend.

Me : what are you studying now?
she : First year of MBBS
Me : that's nice. Generally boys/girls take admission in engg and commerce.
she : yuk. I hate engineer's and engineering specially that PC worm's(soft engg).
Me : k
She : what are you studying?
Me : soft engg
she : I didn't mean it.
Me : it's ok

-_-

WTF man

first salary cheque

Fucking happy

> Find new remote job that pays six figures.
> Only person in the house with income.
> Still not left alone to fucking work.

AFAJDLDHAFAHDKSLAKAGACAJFNSKDUEBXJCAWVWCSNXIXYEVXKCUDGRB/^&@FU+#9$/

JUST LET ME FUCKING WORK!

Lads, I will be real with you: some of you show absolute contempt to the actual academic study of the field.

In a previous rant from another ranter it was thrown up and about the question for finding a binary search implementation.

Asking a senior in the field of software engineering and computer science such question should be a simple answer, specifically depending on the type of job application in question. Specially if you are applying as a SENIOR.

I am tired of this strange self-learner mentality that those that have a degree or a deep grasp of these fundamental concepts are somewhat beneath you because you learned to push out a website using the New Boston tutorials on youtube. FOR every field THAT MATTERS a license or degree is hold in high regards.
"Oh I didn't go to school, shit is for suckers, but I learned how to chop people up and kinda fix it from some tutorials on youtube" <---- try that for a medical position.

"Nah it's cool, I can fix your breaks, learned how to do it by reading blogs on the internet" <--- maintenance shop

"Sure can write the controller processing code for that boing plane! Just got done with a low level tutorial on some websites! what can go wrong!"

(The same goes for military devices which in the past have actually killed mfkers in the U.S)

Just recently a series of people were sent to jail because of a bug in software. Industries NEED to make sure a mfker has aaaall of the bells and whistles needed for running and creating software.

During my masters degree, it fucking FASCINATED me how many mfkers were absolutely completely NEW to the concept of testing code, some of them with years in the field.

And I know what you are thinking "fuck you, I am fucking awesome" <--- I AM SURE YOU BLOODY WELL ARE but we live in a planet with billions of people and millions of them have fallen through the cracks into software related positions as well as complete degrees, the degree at LEAST has a SPECTACULAR barrier of entry during that intro to Algos and DS that a lot of bitches fail.

NOTE: NOT knowing the ABSTRACTIONS over the tools that we use WILL eventually bite you in the ASS because you do not fucking KNOW how these are implemented internally.

Why do you think compiler designers, kernel designers and embedded developers make the BANK they made? Because they don't know memory efficient ways of deploying a product with minimal overhead without proper data structures and algorithmic thinking? NOT EVERYTHING IS SHITTY WEB DEVELOPMENT

SO, if a mfker talks shit about a so called SENIOR for not knowing that the first mamase mamasa bloody simple as shit algorithm THROWN at you in the first 10 pages of an algo and ds book, then y'all should be offended at the mkfer saying that he is a SENIOR, because these SENIORS are the same mfkers that try to at one point in time teach other people.
These SENIORS are the same mfkers that left me a FUCKING HORRIBLE AND USELESS MESS OF SPAGHETTI CODE

Specially to most PHP developers (my main area) y'all would have been well motherfucking served in learning how not to forLoop the fuck out of tables consisting of over 50k interconnected records, WHAT THE FUCK

"LeaRniNG tHiS iS noT neeDed!!" yes IT fucking IS

being able to code a binary search (in that example) from scratch lets me know fucking EXACTLY how well your thought process is when facing a hard challenge, knowing the basemotherfucking case of a LinkedList will damn well make you understand WHAT is going on with your abstractions as to not fucking violate memory constraints, this-shit-is-important.

So, will your royal majesties at least for the sake of completeness look into a couple of very well made youtube or book tutorials concerning the topic?

You can code an entire website, fine as shit, you will get tested by my ass in terms of security and best practices, run these questions now, and it very motherfucking well be as efficient as I think it should be(I HIRE, NOT YOU, or your fucking blog posts concerning how much MY degree was not needed, oh and btw, MY degree is what made sure I was able to make SUCH decissions)

This will make a loooooooot of mfkers salty, don't worry, I will still accept you as an interview candidate, but if you think you are good enough without a degree, or better than me (has happened, told that to my face by a candidate) then get fucking ready to receive a question concerning: BASIC FUCKING COMPUTER SCIENCE TOPICS

* gays away into the night

Someone with a life here?.. Like seriously?.🤔🤔

what a irony !

manager using MBP 2017 for browsing and presentation.

graphic designer is working on window xp sp2 dual core.

coreldraw

-_-

I was trying to access this website from 15 min.

i think i need sleep :(

My start in new company....

HR: you will get a Macbook from us...

Me: yessss!!!!

~~~

One Day before first Day:

I Picked up the laptop from company...opened the case....
No Macbook, but HP 😂😂😂...🤷‍♀️

~~~

First Day at new company:

PM: you will be using Ps, Sketch....

ME: how will be the licence costs payed?

PM: it is already installed...

ME: wait, what? It's nothing in my Laptop.. Wait what? Sketch?....I haven't recieved a Mac....

PM: What?????🤦‍♀️.....

~~~

Later in the same Day...

My laptop: Fu*k you!!! Your account has been disabled. Contact your system Administrátor...

ME: wtf????? 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️

.....to be continued....

one of my cousin ask me to help him for uploading his ex's private pics and videos on porn websites.
Because her parents are not allowing their marriage and she is not ready to go against family (he is not working anywhere, Jobless)

I simply take screenshots of our chat and send to his ex and her parents.

Hope they will punish him.

once you start using linux on laptop. here is a condition of your mouse.
i don't know when I touched it last time.

"Writing an app sounds fun!"
*opens android studio*
"What the fu-"
*closes android studio*

Wow
1 more family WhatsApp group
Now I am part of 7 family group with same member
😤

Saw an add on my fb feed:
"We will make you a programmer in 6 weeks" - course in programming.

6 f*king weeks! I've been studying 5 years, wrote down butt loads of code, debugged billions of bugs, read hundreds pages of documentation and I wouldn't call my self a full developed programmer.

But hey, those fu*kers will make you a programmer in 6 weeks!

A ecom website which sales premium gold product from 50k to 170k INR.

database : mysql
all passwords and user ID's are saved in plain text.

"Please make the splash screen longer, 3-5 seconds at least"
So you are the "mobile UX expert"? Do you realize people want to achieve things without wasting time and patience? In 5 seconds I may get distracted with a notification or anything else IRL and I I'll even forget I ever opened your app. Puf, you lost a potentially paying user.
All this just to give some fu***** visibility to some small logos of your sponsors. What about an about page so everybody is happy?

Every fu**in time!!

Most useful readme file award goes too...

Presenting my genious automation script :D :D :D

If you are not wasting your 10hours to automate your half hour work then you are not a real programmer.

:(
Why google ?

sad but reality

tiktokers create cring content and earn lots of money.

open source contributors create technology which is maintaining world but earn far less.

how can we expect bright future?

what is wrong with this world

Nothing technical

Just wanna share with my devrant family.

Now I have own restaurant.
Ya ya I know it's nothing techie but I m happy that I own some business and I will test my entrepreneur skills here.

Fucking happy.

Person: What's more common than
c² = a² + b² ?
Me: Clients saying,
"I know how to do it myself but I just don't have time"
Source : twitter.com

I'm freaking the fuck out.
After months of learning from bootcamp and on my own, after a month of no resumes replied to, after almost giving up I finally got a job opportunity in front-end web development.
The thing is, I have to pass their online test to verify my JavaScript-fu.
3 hours.
4 tasks.
And I feel like garbage who can't understand even the most basic algorithms.
By the power of Grayskull, I don't think I have the power...
Wish me luck.

When you have 90% css code available in world but you are fucking lazy to apply it.

a dude just DROPPED the whole Fu**ing mongodb cluster. like Right Now.

multiple databases, expanding multiple projects.

fortunately in dev. but dunno how much data is recoverable.

In college, teacher teams us with other guy,
I tell him to do backend coding in JS
He says: Dude, What is JS?

Fu*k

Oh Fu** !

Weekend plan:
1. I will watch react conf
2. I want to complete vim cheat sheet
3. LFS project is too
4. Netflix
5. ........
...
.
.

Electricity : 😈

Fuck..
😡

It's json!!!! Not Jason.... m*th**Fu*k**

Coworker: "Look our WebApp loads much faster in Chrome (0.8s) than in Firefox (4.6s). This clearly shows that Chrome has the better JS-Engine"

Me internally: "No, it just shows how bad your JS-Code is, and not optimized, you dense Mo**Fu**"

!rant ! technical
Just want to share with my devrant family.

Finally in relationship.
Funny thing is
Me-she
24-29
Hindu-jain
Non veg - veg
Don't have dressing sense- awesome dressing sense
Programmer-jewelry designer
Not so hygienic - so much hygienic
No gym ,no exercise - yoga master
Geeky - hate pc worms
2 times in jailed - follow every rule
Back bancher - front bancher
Love shayari/old bollywood song - EDM / western songs

Common bridge between us

MARVAL FANS
😂

Perfect room name dosen't exist.

conference room
name changed
to
"execution room"

Best client ever:
Yesterday I meet my new client. He need portfolio website for his logistics business.
So I meet him and explain my previous experience in website development.
After 1hour he gave me advance 50% of total cost.

!dev related whatsoever fuck off if this bothers you

Just got into a big argument with my brother in law because the little bitch was exposing my father and mother in law(which I adore) to the virus by virtue of this little shit partying every other fucking day, going out with people etc and then having my in laws pick him up etc.

I am not gonna lie, I love the kid, but this shit pisses me the fuck off, my in laws are over 60 each and I ain't about to fuck with the chances of my child's grandparents dying because some fucktard thinks partying is more important.

Been wishing for the motherfucker that would since a while now, just hope it's not this kid.

WEEKEND!!
I mean..
PROGRAMMING AND GAMING TIME!!

That was the fu***ng smart answer... (!)

Nothing to rant so posting this.😅

I was checking old code

css:

class name : blue_box
background : #565656

:(

I will become a millionaire.

Global variables in JavaScript everywhere... Being accessed by every file, every function every class... Everywhere....

Someone wants me to make VR Fortnite for them what the fu-

Weekends be like:
Half day = *thinking* what should I do in weekend
Half day= *thinking in regret* I didn't do anything productive
😂😂😂

I don't know which should make me worry:
1. the fact a gradle build for a new project is taking 90% of CPU
2. The fact CPU Freq isn't going higher than 2.18 when it can go up to 3.1?
3. The fact gradle is always taking 5 minutes to build when it used to take 1 minute for a medium project?

Me (front dev): We should use nodejs for this project...
CTO (back): Nah... Fu*k Node! Php ftw
Now: we have a php framework with a nodejs server for the front end

Fu*king Windows!!!

Integrating Linux kernel into their new build.
Microsoft Edge insiders experimenting with Chromium engine.

Microsoft has now bowed down to the open source community...

All hail Linus Torvalds!!!!
All hail Linux!!!
All hail Open Source!!!

WE WON

*while drinking tea at cafe area*
me*thinking* : may be this is going to solve that error
yes
yess
yesssss

I got solution

but wait let's first drink this tea then I will try this solution

*came back on desk*

me*thinking* : -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

what was solution ? wtf?

Google cripples ad and tracking blockers: In January, Chromium will switch to Manifest V3 which removes an essential API in favour of an inferior one. As usually, Google is being deceitful and touts security concerns as pretext.

That hits all Chromium based browser, such as my beloved Vivaldi. The team argues with their own browser internal blocker, but that's far worse than uBlock Origin. One of Vivaldi's core promises was privacy, and that will go out of the window. The team simply doesn't react to people pointing that out. They're fucked, and they know it.

So what now? Well, going back to Firefox because that will include the crippled new API for extension compatibility, but also keep the powerful old one specifically so that ad and tracking blockers will keep working. Google has just handed Mozilla a major unique selling point, and miraculously, Mozilla didn't fuck it up.

Battery 0%

My first thought was "it can't be so hard to build a AI who simulate emotions "

So i started studying the Human brain .... well it's fu**ing complicated, but also interesting af

Still hope i can develop a little robot who have emotions like happiness, sadness or anger

START NEW PROJECT:

<body class="container">
<h1>HELL WORLD</h1>
</body>

```We discovered that your app contains hidden features. Attempting to hide features, functionality or content in your app is considered egregious behavior and can lead to removal from the Apple Developer Program.```
- Apple App Store Publishing Team

.

ARE U FU KINV KIDDING ME

THAT IS THE COMPLETE REASON WHY YOU REJECTED MY APP?

THE SAME GODDAMN BUILD THAT WAS SUBMITTED ON GOOGLE PLAY FOR ANDROID GOT APPROVED IN 10 MINUTES

IS THE SAME BUILD VERSION THAT GOT REJECTED 3 DAYS AFTER REVIEW ON THE APP STORE

BECAUSE "THEY THINK" I HAVE HIDDEN FEATURES LOL WHAT ARE FU🤡🤡KING INSANE🤡 YO😂😂🤡🤡

THIS REJECTION REASON IS LIKE A SHITTY USER REVIEW

"omg baby girl this app is best" *1 star"

OR

"I have a crash pls fix its not work this app cz crashs n not fixes fck u developers fix it these prblms !!!!🍆🍆🍆👅👅👅💦💦💦💨🌬🌬🌬" *1 star*

AND GET THIS RN !!!!

RN !!!!!!

THEY EVEN *THREAT ME* TO BAN MY APPLE DEVELOPER PROGRAM ACCOUNT WHICH I. P A I D. F O R. $ 100 USD

BECAUSE MY APP HaS 'HIDDEN FEATURES'

THERE ARE NOOO9OO FI KING HIDDEN FEATURES U MTHHHFRRFKERSS I WILL CUMBLAST ALL OF UR APPLE HOLES INTO UR ASSHOLES AND GIVE BIRTH TO THE MAGGOTS🤡GROWING FROM WITHIN🤡UR FKIG ASSHOLE CZ ALL OF YALL R FKIN ASSHOLES🤡ANYWAY🤡THEN MY FKIG HOT CUM🤡WILL EXPLODE💦OUT OF YOUR🤡ASS AND U WILL BE CLOWNS FOREBER🤡I WORKED WAY TOO HARD TO DESERVE AN UNNECESSARY REJECTION THAT HAS A VAGUE REASON OF WHY IT WAS REJSCTED🤡🤡🤡

juuuuuuu

🤡hehe

me : what is your age?
she : never asked girl her age

*found her linkedIn profile bsc from XYZ clg : 2009-12*

-_-

really easy to find information of many people's now a days.
just need basic google dork know.

“This must be Thursday,' said Arthur to himself, sinking low over his beer. 'I never could get the hang of Thursdays.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

^^ this couldn't come more handy..

It's thursday, my computer didn't auto reboot due to updates (yaaay) but VS decided to kill my keyboard shortcuts nevertheless... :\

FU VS!!
Wen't to check, it's actually still there (written) ok..

Me: Why won't you work?!
VS: Not tellin..
Me: Dafaq?! Ok, I'll delete you and reset..
VS: Nope, you won't!
Me: Why don't you allow the same shortcut to be assigned?! Why is nothing getting typed in?!
VS: Dunno, to piss you off maybe?
Me: What's wrong with you?!
VS: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

It's 1:20am
Body: let's sleep.
Heart: beer or rum.
Brain: why the hell js is not working as expected?

FU devRant for eating my batteryjuice.
Thank you devRant(and fellow devs) keeping me entertained.

What a fu*#king stupid landlord. They got my devrant poster by mail and opened it. Not only that, they posted it on their wall for fun. YOU FU*#KING C*NTS

Who am I?
Why Am I here ?
What is purpose of my life ?

finally
error solved

Life is too awesome.

Code comment rant of the day... fcking excel just cost me over half an hour to fix the fking formatting...

Fb notification
"xyz commented on PQR's status"

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

Wtf may I do?

My life was total mess up before this I.e.
Break
Return from death door
Drop in education
Financial unstable
Literally 1.5-2years was worst.

From last 3-5 months
I gave up FB(personal account ,I need it for digital marketing)

Unfollow every entertainment page from Instagram

Join Twitter
Increase activity in devrant

Subscribe to development related content in reddit
New YouTube channel just for learning purpose (never search songs and other stuff on it)

Start reading books like zero to one,think and grow rich....

Biography's of great people's like
Steve jobs
Elon Musk
Shivaji Maharaj

And many more

Stop chatting on stupid topics (hot girls,....)

Attained meditation camp
Start meditation (Vipassana)

Life feels more sorted

Thanks everyone

OS : Tail OS ✓
pass : 16+ ✓
Update password : every 15 days ✓
Mac address : spoofing ✓

Then you realise

Your Aadhar information is in gov DB.

!rant

Many dev ranting that apple is reached $1T by selling stupid connector's...... and other shit.

I am not apple product owner.

But Today I want to salute steve jobs.
A person without college degree,drug addiction,guilt of adopted son,financial issue's without any god father........................

Created one company.

Kicked out from own company.

Joinned again.

developed such policy in company that every one should follow.

took retirement due to cancer and all right's transfer to A Gay CEO.

and
now that company reached $1T.

Really fucking motivational thing.
Nothing is impossible.

My work just gave me a new MacBook Pro with the Touch Bar. Dear Apples, I can’t even!!!!

What a piece is shit! I can’t charge my phone, plug in my monitor or my mouse without a freakin dongle! Worse of all, I can’t feel the keys to reduce volume, I always have to look does at the Touch Bar, tap twice to reduce the volume. How inefficient!

FU Apple! FU!

We made a simple SMS application - when there is alert in a building, SMS is sent to specific range of numbers, based on the alert type. After a month we received invoice of approx. 10K € from the client, my colleague was supposed to pay
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
After checking the logs and running tests on module, we found out it was not our fault, client then told us he played with SIM-card while module was sending SMS and somehow he managed to fu*k up. I still don't get it, partially.. Mobile service provider doesn't give a sh!t about sending tons of SMS/hour? No warning, nothing..

Ahh.. Clients, right?

little confuse about this deal

Dear Zoom,

STOP FUCKING TAKING OVER THE DAMN WINDOW FOCUS WHEN SOMEBODY SHARES THEIR SCREEN

P.S.: Even your own chat is no exception. That's just plain stupid

Donald Trump is influencing developers

Wtf?

What the fuck man.
Why even I am working with this assholes.
Yesterday,Our technical support guy reinstalled windows(I don't mess up with technical issues because then it will be my part time job,so I show that I don't know anything about hardware).
He installed fucking 32 bit window,He was trying to installed 64 bit version thunderbird.

He wasted my whole day.

There are 20 of us in the whole team. Each of us are entitled to 1 month of leave/year. Then here's the manager telling us that there should be no overlapping dates of leave vacations. FU!!

The amount of elitism you see inside of the dev community is the reason why I consider changing careers.

No, It don't hurt my feelings. I just don't want to surround myself from sexually frustrated loosers that think that getting cool points on the internet over hating and shitting over other's likes and dislikes means something.

It sucks balls and I smell the areas to be of dried cum and Cheetos.

Fuck man, being born ugly, anti-charismatic and weird must suck big balls

client : show website
me: sir server is down
client : what? I don't know,I want to see my website.
me: sir try to understand it is not my issue
client *call cut*

fucking asshole -_-

long message

whatsapp : * scroll *
reply : depend on last line happy sad whatever emoji ,sent same

devrant : *something important ,I must read everything*

2 minute silence for people's
Who think solving 3*3 rubik cube is intelligent task!

My mouth: "It's probably the cache"
My brain: "I have no fu***** clue what's wrong"

PM: You can cut corners it it's necessary.
Me: Thanks for giving me permission to move faster.
*But as you know, I wouldn't be in this position if you hadn't made us agree to such an unrealistic deadline.*
..
...
*after completion*
.
.
PM: There are bugs in the code.
ME: There are bugs, because you asked me to cut corners. *fu#k you* *wtf moment*

Random guy to 3d artist : Want to listen joke

3d artist : sure
Random guy : Mac
3d artist : Fu×k u

The previous manager bought an expensive enterprise level cms with 0 support and documentacion for doing shit, for which the only ninja that knows how to operate it is our cms admin.

And I saw this person posting shit on her instagram about loving wordpress.

Wish your ass would've known about it before you got us this 58k pos system...

Say whatever the fuck you want about wordpress, yeh its fucky, but not fucky AND expensive........

Life without google, stackoverflow, GitHub.😵
Can you imagine it?

Do you get random nostalgic moments when you see things you saw as a child?

i sometimes put on the early Harry Potter movies, since they came out as I was reading the books as a child. They fucking work miracles for my mood. But that is just me.Currently watching Prisoner of Azkaban, my favorite one, as I work. Gives me warm feelings as much as the rest. The entire series is my favorite, regardless of things that were changed.

When you spend 1 hour trying to hide content by changing a class but then realise that you have a “display: block” overwriting said class 13 lines higher up. Fu** me. Fu** CSS.

Don't scroll here.
Go and live a real life,
Don't make a computer screen as your world,
there is a beautiful world outside of your cave,
Talk with people's face to face,
go
go
go.

Ok enough philosophy, Time to add new shit in current shitty code.
(-_-)

job ad said "need senior back-end developer", with skills:java, c++, node.js,etc. went to their office for interview and they just needed man for installing windows and things like that.
Conclusion: dont fu*kin put every language in requirements you heard when dont need any of them

Internships are fucking bullshit and if more senior developers were to take the role of an actual mentor to coach juniors properly then the state of software engineering would be better.

Some people can be let down easy in terms of "this is not for you bruh", others can be built. I know that social interactions are not common for a lot of the morons in here, but being polite and kind is relatively simple if you know what you are doing. Being a dickhead != "royal levels of expertise" and if we were to coach more people into proper development practices then software would not be in such a shitty state.

For an environment that thrives in cooperation I find it hard to believe that we are still subjecting new people to the field to what can be considered slavery with little to actual no monetary compensation.

I removed many of the requirements for the application to a software developer job where I am at (I am the boss, I get to do shit like that) and my fight with HR was "I would rather someone fresh from college that I can coach properly than some dickhead with years on the field that won't listen to anything else than their own words"

Sure it would be slow, sure it would be hard, nothing ever is that simple, but my idea is "train this mkfer, level the fuck out of him, let him be off to great shit rather than giving him to some dickhead that will treat him like shit on account of being a newbie"

And yes, I do know how and what can go bad, I am going to have someone desinging shit in basic html/js/css with some php here and there not giving them the keys to every server I control. Thank you for your fucking concerns, I know what I am doing.

the experiment fails? GOOD more data for me.

Plus, you learn more when you teach others.

How to kill task manager?

I think everything in Life can be fixed with SSD.

Created a variable in the middle of a rant with JavaScript and named it as an acronym for "mother fucker", it actually worked what I tried to do with it... "mother fucker" is in production now

This scene is an 8-year-old.
My friend(F) got his first mobile. First featured mobile.
Maximum smartness in that mobile was a snake game and Bluetooth.
So I decided to prank him.
M: Bro do you know this particular model need a network to use Bluetooth?
F: I am not stupid to believe you.
M: I can prove that.
F: K prove me, I will give you treat.
M: ok, turn on your Bluetooth paired it with my Bluetooth.
F: Ok
*start sending him the movie. We were on the train, a train was about to enter the tunnel*
M: When the train will enter a tunnel, We will lose network and sending will fail.
F: ok let's see.

*when a train enters in a tunnel, we shift light to black in meantime for 3-4 sec our eyes feel blindness. so I closed eyes before entering a tunnel and once train enter in the tunnel immediately restart Bluetooth *

M: look sending failed
F: Seriously man, I didn't know that.
M: It's ok bro next time inform me before buying any electronics.
F: sure
M: my treat?
F: Yup

*for next few days, he was thinking that Bluetooth need a network to send files until whole group laugh on him*

Thinking to start business
Vegetables at door step.

I have 100+ farmers in contact. Who can provide vegetables daily.

What is your view/suggestion on it.

!RANT

my friend who never smoke or drink or relationship to much career oriended.working in multinational company. recently south african petrol company gave offer letter to him.
he was ill from few days.(completed his engineering in civil with 9.1 pointer last year.)

somekind of syndrome found in him. due to which he will not able to walk in 2 years.

he share this information with me. asking me tips,"how to inform my mom dad? I don't wan to face them. I can't do anything for them."

life is fucking unfair with some peoples.

is it common?

I am listening EDM from 3days and Today this notification reminds me,Google data stealing and selling to other companies.

Challenge was

Draw something meaningful in 5 min

I draw this
😅

There is special place in hell for those people who don't comment their shit code.

You know that figurative bonner you have when working on new/exciting projects?

I used to be like that here...
Today I realized that I lost it a long time ago...

That sucks hard, every little script I do on the side I feel excited , every functionality I develop on the job is a fucking mirror of some other shit that no one uses on another mirror project that brings nothing new to the table.

Am I the only one, who likes to hate the tester for sending back your code, when I should be greatful for him/her for finding bugs?
Replies from me by the amount I get my ticket back:
1: okay, sure, thanks
2: all right
3: oh, okay
4: what? still not okay?
5: how did you even catch that?
6: what the fu** is wrong with you?
7: you again???
8: die already!
9: <singing the frozen theme> Let it go, let it go!

Manager : check theme performance in internet explorer

me : sure

Best Hardware support team.
I hope every one of you got such team.

My keyboard was not working properly.
programmer's most used special character ; is auto typing anywhere that is obviously keyboard issue so I called H/W support team.

me: *explained above problem.*
supporter : Ya we know that issue ,YOUR HARD DRIVE IS CORRUPTED. We have 2 option
1) either we can formate your system.
2) We have to change hard drive.
Me thinking : *devrant stuff found*
Me: that is really sad part. How many time you solved such problem?
S: This is my first time in this company ,previously I solved such issue more than 10 time.
Me: you really look smart.
S: thank you,any how I will resolved this issue today.
Me: today I am going earlier but yes we will meet on monday. thank you for quick response.

Sometimes it's irritating

Workstation in office : windows/Mac

Home : Ubuntu

Virtual machine : fedora

Developing : LFS (just for hobby)

😂😂😂

Still searching for arch and BSD 😂😂

small victories... leaving little fuck you notes all over the code..
along with all the test cunts that still get incremented on the production..

We've never tried the website we're working on on IE yet. I'm so scared...

what a morning surprise!
{-_-}

I don't understand people who write "Fu*k" instead of "Fuck", dude everyone know what's that means anyway and you definitely not going to become a Honorable man or you will go to heaven by doing this. Seriously.

You can fuck right off.

First it won't let me have two of the same characters consectively, which fine, technically makes a more secure password.

But then blocks more than 12 characters?

Fu.

Every fu@$ing time..

> testing cronjob
> * * * * * /script.sh
> CPU spike to 100% all time

*FU#K*

bought one of most trending things domain name.

daily 1m+ hit every day for that keyword.

little confuse
what is next ?

Rocket.chat

Free and Open Source Alternative to the Fu*king Slack!

100 ++ in 6h

>Be client
>Have an issue with incredibly slow webpage load time
>Blame memcache issues

So... I look into the problem. Yes, the page either loads up fast, or times out. So, into the logs I go. Webserver is fine (except the timeout), PHP though... Error log is fine (just notices), but slow log shows the issue is the database (of course... its always the database... ugh)

So, checking the database, there is one ugly query that seems to be an issue. 5 joins and a huge where condition.

So I run EXPLAIN on the query and... Proceed to bang my head against the wall.

OF COURSE ITS SLOW YOU FU******, NONE OF YOUR TABLES HAVE ANY INDEXES.

What do they expect when the database has to always go down the whole table and do everything in memory, until it runs out and has to dump it all on disk and work with it there.

Ugh... Some clients...

So, last night I came home from work and "Kung Fu Hustle" was on (cable). I watched it for like ten minutes and then turned it off. Didn't even think about it after.

Just a couple of hours ago I was on YouTube and a clip from that movie came up as a suggested video. On a browser where I'm not logged in. On a computer that's not mine. That is behind a proxy server. That is in a continent far away from me.

Am I crazy or that is actually Google doing that?

I really do like Flutter/Dart but I just cannot be the only who thinks that the way to create several nested components/widgets is even close to somewhat readable, what the fu** Google.

OMFG!! My computer rebooted.. after VS is again performing voodoo stuff on my code..can you please fucking stop reformatting everything!? OMG it's driving me crazy, I've already disabled every format option I could find.. you piss me off one more time, I'm switching to np++!!!!

when your quora follower proposed you,after
reading your blog/answer.

Ok so we just signed a new client with some "artificial intelligence" back-end...

To authenticate with their back end, they developed a FU**ING GET REQUEST so the username and password are passed in the URL.

Then we get a token that we pass in FU**ING GET REQUESTS to communicate with their "artificial intelligence enhanced" back end.

I can't even. I just can't.

I hate bad documentation but inconsistent documentation just feels like a personalized FU.

I can't sleep whenever I remember ,few year before I paid $25 for ethical hacking workshop and they show us inspect element n SQL map

last 36 hours
Sleep 2 : hours
Other stuff : 5-6 hours

Work : remaining hours

Still energetic

I appreciate if someone explains this to me:

Designers ask that we put three images in a grid layout on an Android device so that they can compare which image looks better, and guess what is changed in theses three images: font size changes one point in each image.

My question is: Is this normal? Designers need to see it on a screenshot to be able to decide which fits better?

Web services that require Windows or MacOS?!?! Why!?
(Why, and also FU)

Anybody who is crying for slow machine issue. You can do this think.

1. Replace your HDD with ssd (256gb in 3500 INR)
2. buy DVD shape hdd holder (cost 700 INR)
3. replace DVD with this case

Benefits :
Speed up
No need to worry about data backup

Enjoy

My boot time of window 10
3 mins to 15sec

Literally had mild heart attack

Note for managers,
If your intern doing 6hours task in 3 hours doesn't mean he is ready for next task.
It is fucking mean that he did his task give him time to take some breath.

Need suggestion:
I gave interview in small company. They give me task to complete one project then we will give you job.
It takes me 2 weeks.
Now they are ready to give me job but they want that project in free of cost. What should I do?

Conflicts, conflicts everywhere.

Food and Programmers life:
Spaghetti —> My Code
Pizza —> We are spending the night working in the office
Power Drinks —> delivery date is tomorrow morning
Candy —> extra task
Coffee —> bug massage
Water —> wash your face, we have meetings in five minutes
Truffle —> fu** BlockChain
KitKat —> upgrade your phone please
Lollipop —> one more time please
Marshmallow —> do you like some Nougat?

one of our sales manager ask me,
"what so difficult to build ecommerce website, we work more than you because we strugle on field."

I just smile and start walking.

Digitalocean Spaces == Glass of Nitroglycerin

UNSTABLE AS FU**!#C!C!!!!!!!!!

Not fancy but enough for me.

Hope very soon I will setup my 3 monitor setup.

what are your fav songs while coding?
mine:
old bollywood (black and white) songs and instrumental music mostly hariprasad chaurasia's flute.

I continue to internally read and study about Smalltalk in an effort to see where we might have FUCKED UP and went backwards in terms of software engineering since I do not believe that complex source code based languages are the solution.

So I have Pharo. Nothin to complex really, everything is an object, yet, you do have room for building DSL's inside of it over a simple object model with no issue, the system browser can be opened across multiple screens (morph windows inside of a smalltalk system) for which you can edit you code in composable blocks with no issues. Blocks being a particular part of the language (think Ruby in more modern features) give ample room for functional programming. Thus far we have FP and OO (the original mind you) styles out in the open for development.

Your main code can be executed and instantly ALTER the live environment of a program as it is running, if what you are trying to do is stupid it won't affect the live instance, live programming is ahead of its time, and impressive, considering how old Smalltalk is. GUI applications can be given headless (this is also old in terms of how this shit was first distributed) So I can go ahead and package the virtual machine with the entire application into a folder, and distribute it agains't an organization "but why!!!! that package is 80+ mbs!") yeah cuz it carries the entire virtual machine, but go ahead and give it to the Mac user, or the Linux user, it will run, natively once it is clicked.

Server side applications run in similar fashion to php, in terms of lifecycles of request and how session storage is handled, this to me is interesting, no additional runtimes, drop it on a server, configure it properly and off you go, but this is common on other languages so really not that much of a point.

BUT if over a network a user is using your application and you change it and send that change over the network then the the change is damn near instant and fault tolerant due to the nature of the language.

Honestly, I don't know what went wrong or why we are not bringing this shit to the masses, the language was built for fucking kids, it was the first "y'all too stupid to get it, so here is simple" engine and we still said "nah fuck it, unlimited file system based programs, horrible build engines and {}; all over the place"

I am now writing a large budget managing application in Pharo Smalltalk which I want to go ahead and put to test soon at my institution. I do not have any issues thus far, other than my documentation help is literally "read the source code of the package system" which is easy as shit since it is already included inside. My scripts are small, my class hierarchies cover on themselves AND testing is part of the system. I honestly see no faults other than "well....fuck you I like opening vim and editing 300000000 files"

And honestly that is fine, my questions are: why is a paradigm that fits procedural, functional and OBVIOUSLY OO while including an all encompassing IDE NOT more famous, SELECTION is fine and other languages are a better fit, but why is such environment not more famous?

Look in a fu**ing log files...There you will find answers for almost 90% of "oh, i have some error" problems.

We are so fucked up at our company:

While the support for our client hardware is running out, our operation departement has just found out that Windows 7 is no longer supported on new HW. Well, that for itself is not bad, but we have a really old tool for reporting our daily work. And because that mo*fu*ing piece of customized software still runs in 16bit mode, it will not run on Win 10 anymore.

Alternative solutions are too expensive, so I see that we will have to port that crap somehow from 1997 to 2017 ourself 😲 Replacing is not an option because there are a ton of Excel sheets connected to the database, even the company balance is made with that data (and also in Excel). At least it is our CEO which has built that crap. So he has to pay for his twenty year old sins!

Still water eventually starts to stink

keep moving. Keep your mind open. Always be the student. And the teacher [borrowed from kung-fu panda, though very valid in this context]

believe me,
when your companies non-technical HOD(marketing), start a discussion with you on topics like Elon Musk and other hot topics in the technical world.
It feels good
2 hours no code just discussion on fav topics.

Does anyone else get blackouts at the end of the week. I mean those moments when you stare at the screen and wonder what the fu*k were you doing right now.

he have point

comment on mark's post

Atom vs Visual Studio Code

What are you using and why?

I'm currently on Atom and wanna try out VSCode. Having looked at the settings (Holy fu**, are there many of 'em) I feel kind of lost.

most productive workflow I ever seen.

excel 1 : stock
excel 2 : order

compare stock with order manually 1000+ product.
excel 3 : check history of order generator (shop)

excel 4 : today's price of product + tax
excel 5 : alot specific unit's of product
excel 6 : maintained bill credit/debit
next step : forword to managers for approval
excel 7 : edit's from nanager
process repeat till managers approval

excel 8 : dispatched history
excel 9 : return product (reason's/unit)
excel 10 : stock update return + new product's

and few more excel's

data of 5+ year's
daily 500+ order's

lPO listed company

i have not mentioned account and other stuff

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

Fuck this error.

I am not able to start atom.

I found this funny, or my dev-humor is just really bad :>

Friend: Ugh
Friend: Java and BlueJ.
Friend: Why you indicate relationships between classes that have no relationships.
Friend: Fu BueJ
Me: It's called a crush :wink:
Me: *badum-tssss*

Precision: As in having a crush on a person, but no relationship :)

My grade in basic programming course went from B to C, determined by a fu****g semi colon! One damn semicolon!!!

Bare in mind that my digital exam was in NOTEPAD with no IDE, no syntax highligting, nothing but black on white!

Is there really any compilator, or realistic job environment, where this could be so devestating?!?!

fu devrant
(luv u)

Long-time, no-rant.

I use Linux everywhere all the time. I'm not a huge gamer, but I like a few titles. Most run in Wine or can be made to run with effort in a VM. No biggie.

What I want to know from mobile/game devs is (sorry for ridiculously compound logic in non-lang):

IF you== gamedeveloper && you.haz({shitty}iOS_App) && you.haz({shitty}Android_App) &&
you.haz({shitty}WinXXX_App) && you.haz({shitty}MacOS_App):

THEN:
why(!you.haz({any}Linux_App))

return(excuse.shitty());

That. is. all. read on.

Project: Angular 11

Package doc 2.1: For Angular 13+
Package release 2.1: For Angular 12+

Me: Well, this package solve our problem but it need Angular 12 or 13 to run, so do we go for 13 ?

Team: yep,the update is on schedule so take it and update it later.

Me: We can also go to 14 directly.
Team: No, we prefer LTS version

...some weeks later...

Team: Update to 13 complete !

Me: Yes ! Let's go !

...Install package 2.1...

... Compilation...

🚫 Angular 14 is required for version 2.1

Me: are you fu***** kidding?

Final word: please, keep a good documentation on version requirements 😁

(The package has currently a 3.x in beta to solve the 2.1 angular 14 problem because why not 🤷)

I m speechless now

Me: Who wrote this fu$$in mess of code? Never mind, we will get the dirty hacker.
*Runs git blame*
*Silence*
Me: What a innovative way to solve the problem! I'm a genius!

I want to be known as "The Fu- -ck" around here some day.

WHY ARE SOME MFS ARE SO FU****N RUDE IN DEVRANT?

May be it is small thing to many people's but as a less experience Developer it is big thing for me.
I AM GOING TO LEAD PROJECT.😊
Ohk project is not so big..

toilet.flusher.show()
... hmm ... not a UI issue.

toilet.flush()

Crash: "No function found"
... must be private, mother fu**** ...
...
...
// ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
user.leaveFloater(true)

trying to login fb
username : ...........
pass : ...................

without thinking just type that pass

error changed pass 2 year back

again try to remember same password
:(

unable to remember

is anybody witness of a little pandemic?

Ok, I didn't know that Wireshark on Windows can fuck-up your network routing :D Try to send anything to 255.255.255.255 broadcast and see that nothing happens, yay :D

Unit of code is measured in what the fu**s/minute !!! 😆

[Not dev related but...] My boss is busy and not around, and the colleague is bossing me around like he's my boss :/ You're not my boss!

"Ok that's our standard"
...
"And those are our semi-standards"

OH FU-

Not a rant

After coding, cooking/ book reading is my favorite hobby.

Before last 3 month I took dcsn to give a shot to my other hobby cooking and pause on coding for few months.
I decided to give 100days to my cafe.

Arranging money and perfect location took 2 months , on 16 july I started my cafe not so fancy, just sweet simple.

Means 30 days we're completed,
I was earning 1000 inr as software developer, i am earning 10000 inr daily . My net profit is 1500inr

Moral of the story

Don't hesitate to take risk
Believe on yourself
Never never never start with partnership

Currently I have to pay 1.5 lakh to my ex business partner who left cafe in first 15 days

N

Forget personal life. Your business is your priority.

Not spend even १ full day with my family and gf in last 3 months.

Soon I will back in software.

Have a good day to everyone.

I just couldn't let this one go.

See if you can figure out JO's message to facecunt

(made with gimp/gap)

Have a issue to deliver today, Xcode start to act weird...

Ok let's just quit Xcode and open again...

"Xcode can't be opened while updating"

Fuck no! Who gave you permission for that, stop! Stop!

Hmm.... boss won't like this

School made me a stickler for the Linux kernel coding conventions in regards to the C language. And even though I shouldn't feel bothered by reading other coding styles.....i still get annoyed.

I try not to get irked cuz I find it a small thing to get annoyed at.... but i still do.....bad.

And even then i dislike how there is not padding inside of funcion parametes

void
fu(int here, int there) {}

Should be

void
fu( int here, int there ) {}

That space man...its needed.

Man this is such a small thing to be annoyed at..

Windows piece of shit mother fucker useless trash.

Why can't I just compile without the dumb ass "Antimalware Service Executable" having to check every single fucking file and eating fucking 4GB ram. God damn it. fiadsfleaf oaiehjf afpo jafj
I start compiling binutils and then the whole thing fucking crashes ad;adsfjhc odshfaj;sdl hfja;odsfh;osa dhif;aosdhfi a;osdihf;skdjnvba; dsjch;soduf;dsao fu;nodjf ;anaod

Ok so riddle me this. The service for an application were required to run to send clients insurance through (as per government regulations) was working fine all day working super fast. Rare but awesome. I get a call one hour prior to the office closing (I don't work weekdays) and I am told that all of a sudden insurance isn't sending.

My mind goes right to this fu**ing process. Sure enough it's stopped on the server. Well shit ok. I click start..... Nothing. I kill it from task manager.... Nothing. "SERVICE CAN'T START"

I'm like ok that's fine let's check event logs.... Nothing. No problem let's just run it not in a service container and see if there's an error. NOPE IT DOESNT LET ME.

Okok so that's cool let's just try reinstalling the app. NOPE CAN'T DO THAT WITHOUT RESTARTING THE WHOLE FUCKING SERVER WHICH BRINGS THE ENTIRE OFFICES MANAGEMENT SYSTEM OFFLINE BECAUSE THIS FUCKING APP NEEDS TO BE ON THE SAME GODDAMN SERVER.

Can I please rant? So my Acer Computer started misbehaving and turned my firewall off by itself a few weeks ago. After that, the dumb thing decided to revoke my admin rights, and since I was the ONLY admin, I have zilch admin privileges, can't download any apps, and can't make any new user profiles.

How in the living fu*k am I supposed to do my schoolwork and homework for school on a piece of sh*t computer I paid lots of money for? I have tried the built-in admin trick, and it did NOT work. My other user account I can NOT open, as Windows 10 states that "you need an app to open this".

so the jokers at my office facilities bought in an expensive coffee machine which has it's dedicated iPad that doesn't have any options for my fu*** latte

first time trapped in cooperate politics. -_-

"chaliye es khel ko shuru kiya jaye"

"let's start the game "

ATTN: ALL DEVZ

I think we all should just band together and say FU! to all of these software companies and form one gigantic software corporation, steal all of their clients, and make them beg on their knees for us to help them. Not only that, make them go through a series of VERY stressful interviews (to see who deserves our time, of course) in which we simply say....."no" with no explanation. Bwahahahahhahahaha!!!

Wishful thinking.... 🤔

friend : bro which phone may I buy?
me : mi / honor

next day
f : bro are you sure?
m : yup pretty sure ,in your budget this 2 are best phone

after 3-4 day
*call*
f : bro I buy phone.
m : congo , which pne ?
f : oppo f9

o(╥﹏╥)o

My job in company to developed e-commerce website as a full stack developer.

History of that project.

Company paid 300,000 INR to the local web development firm for developing previous website and they developed website without bootstrap/SSL/Even save information of high profile client in plain text.

I am not angry on that web firm ,I am laughing on my company because such client never trust on independent developers who work hard ,code day and night to complete freelancing projects.

I hope my work will make differnce in their selling.