Listening to two girls argue about how thin their eyebrows are is what you deserve for forgetting your headphones at home

If Programming Languages Were Girls:

Java: Your current girlfriend, you've been going steady for a while now. Things are okay.

Kotlin: The girl Java finds you cheating on, she's just amazing, and you wish you'd met her sooner.

Visual Basic: The girl you accidentally started a relationship with because you didn't know how to say no. But quickly realised your mistake and regretted it.

JavaScript: A childhood friend you occasionally hook up with. But you could never settle for a relationship with them.

Python: A bossy, manipulative girl who quickly turned things sour. But everyone else loves her because of her huge libraries.
-----------------------------------------------------
My and a co worker were joking the other day about what programming languages would be like if they were girls. This is what we came up with (Original inspiration: the Distracted Boyfriend meme (Feel free to add your own!)).

friend of mine: "I like my servers like I like my girls"
me: "insecure?"

Talking to girls is like interfacing with an undocumented, half-implemented API sometimes..

Just because I'm a programmer doesn't mean I'm some nerd that watches anime, relishes in video games, and spends more time around computers than around girls!

Even though that's all true...

Train conversation between 3 girls:

A: "Oh, I've got 4G.. "
B: "What, we have 4G!?"
C: "OMG I HATE 4G!"
A: "Yeah, it's almost as slow as E"
C: "I know, right?!"
.....
Kill me pls

<~<

A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do..

Now where did I put that old web cam...

I don't care about money, girls, fancy cars, big houses, fame...

I want stars on my GitHub repo

I actually lent a girl an umbrella yesterday which takes the total number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.

Me: "can we go to the cinema this weekend?"
gf: "uhm, maybe if blablabla..."
Me: "boolean!"
gf: "true"
...

When deadlines come due but you still try to party with your friends...

Absolutely me. Any Dev girls want a guy like me😁

Normal guy: it's difficult to understand girls

Me: ha! Try JavaScript

If I could impress girls with my Java skills, I would still be single.

Thats Elon Musk guys and girls. source: reddit

Just a joke I found online:

One day I was facing some issue with Outlook and I raised a ticket to get it resolved. I got a call from the Service Desk lady after some time and it went this way:

Lady: Hi I'm calling from service desk, what is the problem?

Me: (I explained the problem).

Lady: Can you please share your screen and give me the control so that I can solve the issue?

Me: (I shared the screen and gave the control. She solved it!!)

Lady: You may close the ticket from your end, the issue is solved.

Me: Thank you very much, I will close the ticket.

I opened her profile in lync and had a look at her profile. The display pic looked small in size. I instantly messaged her Employee ID to my colleague and asked him to have a look at her. He replied "She looks good in some angles".

I tried searching her FB profile with the help of her name, but there were too many results.

I started searching on Linked In instead, I found her profile this time. I was trying to enlarge the profile pic and suddenly a message popped up - it says

"I'll share my better picture with you on your outlook ID but you may please stop sharing your screen??"
😂

Create branches with name of girls and later check them out.

This one's for the #codergurlz! ☺️

Always remember boys & girls:

Today my sister told me "bro, I want you to teach me how to program". My gf told me the same some months ago

So proud of my girls 😍

Today I'm 40 years old..
Should i be afraid?
Will i be filtered out?

will i stop getting "pick up" messages from hot girls on linkedin, who's
Only intrested in my mind?

am i too old for this to be my room?

Ok guys. I'm not only rejected by girls in real life but also when it comes to playing chess online with a stranger :D :D

Girl: you don't...see sharp
Me: I'm... Not a Java developer
Girl: I never said you were
Me: but why make that joke?
Girl: what joke? You hit your head on a beam tripped over a chair and missed your drink. You clearly need glasses
Me: *gets glasses* oh your not a girl 😳

Hey guys and girls! Wanna see some booshiet?

Real Chat with new female friend.

Me : what are you studying now?
she : First year of MBBS
Me : that's nice. Generally boys/girls take admission in engg and commerce.
she : yuk. I hate engineer's and engineering specially that PC worm's(soft engg).
Me : k
She : what are you studying?
Me : soft engg
she : I didn't mean it.
Me : it's ok

-_-

WTF man

*Beautiful girls passes by*

Me: *Quick! Do something awesome*

sudo apt-get update

I had two optios at highschoool:
1. Hang ouy with other teens, aquire social skills and get girls.
2. Learn to code.

Someone: how do I convert cute girls to .gf format ?

Me : Sorry, this feature is not available in the beta version

OMG guys, a girl asked me to teach her how to program!!! Should I marry her now???

!rant

Just became a dad again for the second and third time.

Healthy twin baby girls!!!

Managed to impress girls by changing a guys facebook name with FF dev tools inspect.

I told a friend of who i knew for about 8-9 years that i like her more than friends and may be attracted to her or have a crush on her (i have always just discarded people or decided that i dont need many in my life so in telling her, i already assumed a negative reaction and a lost friend so i would be happy with any answer). Turns out, she has had a crush on me for years and i am so confused on what to do because i knew her such a long time..

On the plus side, it was bothering me and telling her made me at ease and so productive at work and got so much done :D - its been an okay week if i must say so myself

Girls are like functions. Always up for an argument

I recently got a folded piece of paper from a young lady. I asked her if we want to meet again, but she only said "Open the folded piece of paper at home. ". At home i opened the fpop and it said "015772549658 <3".

Dammit i knew that she didnt want to meet again.

My coworker boys and girls..

For IT-guys, LinkedIn is like a reverse dating platform. Girls text you and you ignore them.

Business idea: panties with HTTP status codes printed on them.

451 for our underaged customers - unavailable for legal reasons

411 to crush a man's self esteem - Length required

429 for girls with stalkers - too many requests

402 for our professional customers - payment required

And, of course, 202 - Accepted

Professor in college: We have our fest coming up. We need some volunteers for technical team to build website and android app.

*She says that and looks towards guys. Some guys raise hands saying they were interested.*

She didn't look towards girls even though some girls were raising their hands too.

Then she looked at girls finally....and she said "Oh you girls are interested too? We have cultural and decoration team. You can join that. "

I was triggered to next level.

I stood up and asked "Can't girls be part of technical team?"

She said "oh...yeah sure...." With not much hope that I would get into technical team.

But I ended up passing the screening round and got into technical team. She realised at that time that I knew my shit.....

There was even a time when I was in HODs office and she pointed at me and went "She is my student." trying to take credit for me being so Awesome ;)

LOL!

She was my guide for final year project too. We ended up writing a research paper and won best project award as well.

This was a year back. I have graduated and now I am working....
Just remembered....

lol....To all our IT guys (and girls) out there ☺

Discovered this app and the cute avatars. Found out you need at least 10 points to create one, so here I go! Just finished my third year in computer science, now exploiting the positive discrimination for girls to get summer programming jobs ;).

I sent the iPhone crasher in my classgroup yesterday. Today morning a few girls out of my class said that I triggered a virus with a textmessage. Bruh

Today we moved to a new office in the next building.

It is a very big upgrade, since it is bigger and nicer.

So I ask where the bathroom is and go in the direction told, and the bathroom is so nice! Huge mirror, everything is clean and new.

On the way out I find that it was the girls bathroom....

Why am I able to write a quick search algorithm in JavaScript but am not able to talk to girls?

Shouldn't the second one be easier than the first one?

Shouldn't every human being be able to do the first one?

Programming languages as anime girls.
(I don't know source or Japanese. Help me if you know)

Pro(s) at working in my company:
- Lots of girls (we're literally 10% male)

Con(s) at working in my company:
- 99.9376% of them are taken :/

But hey, at least I can get my confidence boosted by talking to beautiful people and make new female friends :D

Partly a dev-dream come true?

I haven't attempted any dating yet but I have attempted staying in touch with girls and this has failed big time. Not due to coding but due to me not using social media (especially Facebook and Instagram) and also - this is a huge deal in the Netherlands - not using WhatsApp.

The second girls hear/notice/discover that when exchanging information, it's shut off right away. (Or, this has been my experience)

On the bright side, I might find a very good match this way and I'm at least holding on to my principles/values :)

A supervisor in my first job , he also taught me to pick up girls in bars.

Hell he picked up a girl whilst I was throwing up on a train 😂, literally right next to me 😅 talented man

He made me want to be better then him at programming ... Not picking up girls. So now I am and got my own company doing it ... All due to a strange bromance

Ya go ahead. Touch my screen. The next thing I would do is get that same fingerprint from my screen, unlock your phone and fucking factory reset it. Or worse, message all the girls in your contact that you have a tiny dick. Go ahead. I dare you to touch my screen.

Anyone coding like in the right picture? 😮
(I mean the comments with smileys not the code part)

"Imagine everyone is an object. You are an object, you are an object, you are an object." My lecturer said while pointing to random students in the class. Oh how I wanted to quip "So you think girls are just objects?" 😂

Someone paid me almost 200 usd to solve a visual basic assignment made of 13 small questions like palindrome checking, finding max,...

i feel i stole the girls money but i also feel i wish i can do this full time

Girls never understand that...

Can't find any quiet place in my uni. And for some reason it's always a group of girls giggling. They're always there. Every fucking corner of this campus. But I do know one place they never are...

You guessed it.

The Computer Science building.

Girls are like Internet domain names,the ones I like are already taken.😕

At least college girls talks to you to get help in their projects.

You know, there is so much of a push to get girls to start programming. You know what, the industry is doing just fine, and if a girl wants to get in, she can. Girls shouldn't be considered special, they shouldn't be given a handicap and no one should assume they are worse.

There is absolutely no money to be made in the "Girls who Code" push and people need to start seeing that they are polluting everything.

I just saw, on Shark Tank, some crappy version of the Sphero, which may be the biggest insult to a product, ever, that was basically a Barbie driving around and you can program it. I want to die.

Lesson learned from wk111:

We gotta get out of the fucking house more guys and girls!

Go code on a fucking beach or a park or something. Drink some beers and wine. Smoke a couple of joints with good friends.

During an annual review process, my friend, who is a female dev (doesn't work with clients), got feedback that she needs to smile more.
I'd like to hear from the male devs here, how many of you were asked to smile more?

What's up with guys and girls using the 'def' word? It's like they're speaking Python.

guy: "sup babe. Wanna grab coffee later?"
girl: "def baby"

We had a guest lecture about computer science and gender equality, and it was exciting to see my male classmates so supportive of drawing more women into our field...They are so tired of taking biology courses just so they can look at pretty girls 😂

WE CALL FUNCTIONS WE DON'T CALL GIRLS

I love you. I live devRant.
All I need sometimes is scrolling through your stuff, and I feel better.
Be safe, girls and guys. Be healthy, and stay here. #OneBigFamily ❤️

If you ever find yourself having serious problem with a bug... relax. Go take a walk around the block for 5-10 minutes, don't think about it, feel the sun on your face, look at girls/guys, whatever.

The answer will come to you automatically.

If that doesn't work, someone you know has adderal.

Why the hell do girls use high heels in the office? I just can't think with all that noise

How to post a question on a forum:

1. Create an account with a cute girl name like AnnaLovesYou143

2. Post your question. Ex. "How do I use Google? Thanks xOxO <3"

3. Wait for guys to give you a complete answer for your question or an offer to help you via a private message.

Damn! Why is it so hard to concentrate when you’re pair programming with a cute 👧

So I'm still a student in college.

I'm always in the library either writing code, or studying math (huge nerd).

People talk with each other, talk with girls, laugh with girls, and I'm just doing my thing.. alone.

I'm also reasonably attractive and super thin, and so girls also look at me alot (which scares me).

So people think I'm this super mysterious programmer guy that always has headphones on and is doing God knows what... Probably also awkward and super shy (which really is the case)..

Then out of nowhere, I'm laughing, smiling and having a blast because of something I read on devRant..

My cheeks hurt from because I try to keep the laughs in, and then when I can't take anymore I get out from library just to be able to laugh :D ...

Anyone else in a similar situation? Can you relate?

Me and some of my friends used to crack programming jokes and ranting about jobs/software engineering etc. Other people used to get irritated by that, even s/w enggs. When I found devRant, I felt like those girls from Avicii's song "Wake me up".

I shared devRant with my friends and said "Guys, we found our people. Hurry!!" 😍😍😎😎😂😂

Different girls follow different methods to slow down their ageing process --

Health trainer -- Exercise and Yoga
Normal girl -- Cosmetic products
Programmer girl -- Having a tattoo of Internet explorer

the effort to get girls, and children for that matter into programming has been terrible. I never thought I could find something worse than code.org, but here it is: SmartGurlz (because what could be smarter than spelling your own gender wrong, right?). this was on shark tank and this lady was making robots to try to get girls into programming. they pretty much control dolls on wheels by means of scratch. it's terrible. first of all, how the fuck is that profitable? when a little girl wants to play dolls, what kind of girl wants to *program* it first. jesus, no kid wants that.

second, this girls who code thing makes me barf. the thought process for many organizations trying to push girls to code is "hmm, if we isolate girls and give them lower standards, then maybe they'll decide to go into a male-dominated industry," because, fuck logic right? idiocy is dreadful. lastly, what I hate most about so many of the girls coding organizations, is the fact that they have to embrace the stereotypes. almost every single one cares about "feelings" or something similar. its bullshit.

and don't get me wrong, women should have equal opportunity, but pushing them into stem fields isn't good. bias in the workplace is what we should be talking about, or other topics like women being paid less. trying to make girls interested in programming is complete bullshit, let them do what they want.

back to "SmartGurlz," I looked them up and they confirmed what I expected. the first thing I see? not anything related to programming whatsoever, but different dolls wearing different outfits. girls deserve something better, and shouldn't have to deal with organizations trying to push them into something they don't want to do.

Game devs: Let's make characters as photorealistic as possible.

Some asian girls: Let's try to look as unrealistic as possible:

!devRant

Went to watch The Magnificent Seven.

The fucking idiot in front used his phone with full brightness frequently throughout the movie. Fucking douche continued to share that he is in a movie hall in snapchat.

The ducker even creeped on some girls on snapchat. What a fucking idiot.

I'm done with dumb girls😠 ! seriously I need a geek girl in my life to understand what I talk or what I share .... A dev girl right now would be awesome ..😃

Meeting girls

When you walk into class and realize you are the only female yet again

Girls are like a ‪‎internet domain name‬
ones you like are already taken.
Developers have more suffering than others.

For God sake tinder, fix your fucking algorithm.

Why are you showing my beautiful and out of my league girls. I don't want depression everytime I open tinder.

Please show me avarage looking girls.

I love to teach these boys and girls for basic C. :3

!rant
We just offered two other women jobs at where I work....
Half the department is going to be female!!
:)
.... Shoot how do you talk to girls again it's been so long

I happen to be the only girl in my small dev team of 4 males plus me.
I'm freaking tired of hearing 'hey guys','how are you doing guys', 'what's the update guys' in every meeting/call when one of them is addressing the rest of us.
Yeah i know I/they can't do anything about it. I somehow grew numb to hearing it, but sometimes hearing it one thousand time in a single call is driving me crazy.
I once mentioned it to an a senior dev who happens to be the one using the g word the most during meeting.
Me: could you please stop saying guys all the time, I'm not a guy.
Him: what do you want me to say, 'hey guys and a girl?!'
Me: ... -_- (internally: seriously!!)

Uugh.

Found on 9GAG

Became an uncle to two beautiful girls the other week. But the plan to make them the future tech support of the family is already in play! Hopefully they will exceed me in about 10 years, I'm a front-end dev so it shouldn't be that hard...

It's funny how all the pretty girls on LinkedIn want to have a cup of coffee with me after I updated my profile to match my current position. Previously not even bots on Tinder would chat to me.

Any girls developers around here?

I had this a while ago. I just pulled an all-nighter because of some servers issues so I went to a coffee shop at my usual train station on my way to my study to get an espresso. I had some difficulties with keeping my eyes open and then these teenage girls walked towards the starbucks (nope I don't do starbucks) saying something like 'Oh my god I need caffeine otherwise I won't survive today omg'.

Five minutes later they came walking out with a few huge 'coffees' with shitloads of milk and whipped cream.

I kept myself sane but I just really wanted to scream 'THAT"S NOT COFFEE/CAFFEINE, THAT"S FUCKING DESERT YOU FUCKING FUCKWITS'.
I really couldn't stand those girls at that moment nope.

Food and computers.

Sorry for the fat people as well but i think those is legit.

I am sitting next to this friend of mine in class. She is a bit big. Anyhow.

She opens her laptop and i see her screen. Its dirty. But by dirty i mean fucking dirty. Like brow transparent circle like things all over.

I`m like: “shiiiet， whats that on your screen”.

She: “i am not really sure”.

2 days layer in another class we sit together again and she looks at me with a smile.

She: “look my screen is clean. It was dirty because sometimes o sit in bed and eat chicken then type on my keyboard，so when i close my computer the keys touch the screen and voiiiila!”

Me: “..... Wow”

She was quite proud she had elucidated the problem and did not really understand the meaning of my wow.

Seeing on some other posts I wanted to rant about my uni’s computer science community.

Some background: This is a small uni, not like a community college definitely a little bigger. Located somewhere in WV. There is 2-4 girls in every CS class I have had and at least 27-30 guys.

The reason why I mention this is because there is no sense of team work at all. When it comes to exams or projects I take the initiative and make either quizlets (being freaking nice here) share them or take times after school in the library to work on projects. If I have a solution I will share it, I will try to help you in your problem. If I know how to do it of course.

The real issue is all those CS experts that already fixed or finished their programs, the ones on the top of the class. Is as if the moment I ask something related to the project I am already dumb for not have figured it out on my own.

There is the typical CS student that just tries and gives up or just gives up without trying and the other kind of CS student that does that. Doesn’t help anybody else, wants to be on the top all the time.

What I am trying to say here is that it just feels like a competition all the time. (I consider myself in between this two types of students cause I wasn’t born a genius but I do try my ass off on projects) however, I feel like guys see me every new semester in a CS class and think “oh wow how is she still here? Wait did she pass?”

All I say is “yeah I fucking did, with a C or B but here”. So I don’t know, first rant posted 👏🏽🙆🏽‍♀️

!dev

My boss told me that I should improve my posture since I was slouching. He said girls really dig good posture.

1. Highly doubt that
2. Is that why his wife married him?
2.5 If so, that’s low standards
3. I’m a programmer anyway so I’m afraid I’ll need more than good posture to get a girlfriend🤷‍♂️

I made an Android app that on random interval shows android notification with sound like Facebook notification.

Few girls in the office asking me whose messaging me this much on Facebook Messenger. They think the girls are responding to my messages and you know in no time the gossip made me famous.

It's kinda cool being a programmer 😎

Today I was being social, apparently not a success.

In the train on the way to work I had a talk with a cute girl. Ten minutes in the conversation she started putting on makeup, to which I replied that she looked great without makeup as well.

Then she was offended and put on music...

Apparently you cant give compliments

Now I have to register on oracle website with a my company name and work phone before i can download jre or jdk. That's it boys and girls. You're unemployed? No minecraft for you!

How the duck do those girls (co-interns) get to play shitty songs annoyingly loudly on speakers while we're trying to do important work and nobody says anything??

If that's the case, then I'll start blasting heavy metal at the same time 😎🤘 and see who gets annoyed..

That would be a good showdown 😈

!Rant

I'm falling in love with C#. So classy...

Languages are always girls to me, as the computers.

devRant should add belly sizes in the avatar.

Girls always say they like my fat tummy.

I tried Tiktok.
Immediately my fyp appears to be 18 year old girls doing cringe-worthy miming and people half my age telling me how I can earn over $3k per month using Canva.

...aaaaand...delete.

some girls gave out free red bulls in our office today.

Boys and girls. Never work as a Udacity mentor to get some extra pocket money. NEVER EVER! They are absolute rubbish. It is sad to see the platform that I once loved get transformed from an extremely cool thing into this crap.

There will be a rant or a series of rants in the future about this.

16 Reasons to date a programmer

Yeah I'm an adult. No, it doesn't bother me that 6 years ago on the school trip I wasn't cool enough to be invited to the girls rooms eventhough my stupid friend was. Doesn't bother me one bit

y'all have any ideas for something techy i can do for my girlfriend?

i want to make her an app or something she can see every day and smile at

Anyone else saw the IT movie poster for the first time and thought 'what does this movie have anything to do with I.T?'

Or saw an "I'm an IT girl" t shirt and thought that it's awesome that there's a t shirt for I.T girls

#myfriendsthinkimafreak #howcodingchangemylife

The girls........
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... kidding.

!rant

Merry Christmas to you all!!!

I love you guys/girls :)

May we all solve a few of our problems in 2018 (whatever they may be).

Is it weird that I find DevOps girls incredibly sexy?

From today on I'll have two roommates. Two girls, who always listen. And the best part, if I don't like their response I'll just use their APIs to make them say what I want. Too bad both of them are unemotional boxes.

0. Never ending puzzle game
1. Very useful skill to have
2. Keeps girls outside my perimiter

(tl;dr at the bottom)
one day, an old "friend" asked if i would like to be part of a project with their friends to create a site, we had plenty of meetings, my partner and i were excited with this project until we realized that those girls literally wanted a copy-paste from another site, and i mean, exactly the same but translated in google translate. We even asked other developers for their opinion and they said the same, that it was a copypastarino.
so my partner and i talked to them about how we didn't want to be part of a copied project. Those girls went angry and we drop off that.
Yesterday, after almost 7 months, I found you that those girls won an "startup contest" and that they will be traveling to sillicon valley soon to meet a founder and start the business.

ooooh boy...
what would happen if we send an email pointing out that copied-googleTranslated project?
is the industry really that dumb or lazy? i mean, how is that even possible that they haven't found it out?

tl;dr
some girls just google-translated a site, my partner and i didnt want to be involved and now, 7 months later, they are going to sillicon valley to meet a founder and make it real.

Guys!!!!
Guysss!!!!
And girls....
when your stoned and drunk as me, please watch "This is Not Happening" on youtube....
I'm crying here of laughter...
OMG
The bear... Oh , To baad no more bozze

to anyone who says girls can’t code because they have no skill and therefore shouldn’t be in a high position because they have no dick,

I’ll show you how I code with my girl skills, I’ll fire you with my girl position, and I’ll fuck you with my girl dick.

!dev

Just wanna share yesterday nights story because I really really enjoyed it..

Have been to Galway with a friend.
Went to the pubs and 2 Irish girls tried to speak French - just for fun. A French guy wanted to flirt with them and said: “you British girls are so cute when you try to talk French.”
The girl completely freaked out and screamed at him: “ DONT YOU FUCKING DARE TO CALL AS BRITISH..” and the second girl started singing in the middle of all the people: “Come out ya Black and Tans, come out and fight us like a man”..

Ended with those girls trying to stop other Irish guys from beating up that French guy.

Few pubs later at 2:30am walking to the car (driver didn’t drink) when the “irish Jesus” (YouTuber) walks by and asks us if we have “something”, he really needs to get stoned 😂

Best night ever..

No offense to the British here, I assume you’re familiar with your shared history;)

Finding a girl on Tinder probably looks like an opposite of Venn diagram... set A consists of girls that don't have weird names(meaning they are not from one of the neighbouring countries or just a tourist in my country) and aren't ugly(I know what they say about not judging a book by its cover but sometimes I don't know if I am looking at a human or a sea monster) and the set B consists of girls that consider me or my "about" text interesting... these sets have no intersection

My parents proudly accept me not working in computer related jobs. But they also would when I did. I think.... or I hope...

I just hope you guys and girls enjoy the time your parents are alive and have nothing to regret in the future. Life is to short for hatred.

!dev

I want to say to my cheating whore of an ex, you were never worth the time nor the effort. You are my only regret in life. There are actually way more pretty and nice and probably honest girls than you'll ever be!

Girls sniff boys.

I sniff RS485.

The YouTube ad content Nazi's just forced me to watch another WIX ad. This one featured the super model Karlie Kloss who is the spokesperson for a organization that tries to get girls into coding....

Evil on top of Evil on top of Evil

College male computer science student here:

Even when I find attractive girls who want to date me, the thought of it stresses me out. In reality if I can truly chat and have a good time with a girl she has been friend zoned.

Advice anyone?

I went to a medical party this weekend. For about ten hours my girls' radar was DDoS! :D

Only because I'm a girl I can't pick facial hair for my avatar? What virgin thinks girls can't have a mustache?

Well atleast we have friends, girls and reasons to live even if its minimal.

Dude from our dev team: "Anime girls aren't generic"

Us: Hold my beer you baka gajin

Ad hiring in Iran:
we need a Backend developer who is expert in React, js, scss, and you should have at least 5 years experience in DevOps.
and priority with girls.

GIRLS PRANK
Omg I changed her lipstick with one of a slightly different color I'm so random she'll go CrAaAaAzY

BOYS PRANK
Use Tampermonkey to transform your colleague's pc into a chinese botnet and redirect him to some PCC website on every click forever

Yeah long story short that's how my previous firm blocked access to domains hosted by the Chinese government.

Ok anyone used code to get girls? Let the funny stories commence.

I think you guys n girls will enjoy this (found on twitter)

How does a computer science major pick up girls?

put on my glasses;

Oh, shit thought this was google. :-)

!dev

Before I bought a couch, I thought I had to get a couch because when I have a girl at my place, she will definitely think I'm a serial killer who's going to murder her.

Now that I have my couch, yeah I still don't have any girls over.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

Hey girl are you a NoSQL database? Because I can’t fucking understand you. 😑😑

Is programming a girls dream come true?

I want a package for something so I search NPM, 50 results.

I could spend a life time browsing, shopping for packages, trying them out to see if they fit.

It's all I bloody do these days.

!rant

Today I think I experienced my biggest burnout ever, combined with a huge headache. That is what you get for working at a fast growing startup.

Stay healthy and remember to take it easy guys and girls

Just received my sticker and I am glad of being a part of the DevRant community. Thanks for you for being the best community I've ever seen 😊

Girls on computer

Me & the girls

Lost control while standing in the train when it started moving. Stomped in a girls foot in the process.

If she had devRant I am pretty sure she would be ranting about me :(

Today was:
30% setting u partitions for arch
20% fixing typos that caused some kernel panic
20% trying to find a good resource for Squid
20% Giving up and reading the docs
10% choosing alcohol

I just wanna work on my personal projects which give me a valid excuse to look at smuggy anime girls

Turn off readahead when you talk to ladies you'll get better performance.
Just relax and enjoy.

Boys vs Girls

Why do valley girls hang out in odd numbered groups? Because they can't even.

Sitting super hot and extremely loud marketing girls next to your entire developer staff is a good way to decrease productivity. not to mention how extremely annoying they can be at times. ugh!!

i don't understand girls. they just don't make any sense. if only they behave like my IDE.
My IDE :

I'm confused. How'd we go from contributors like Ada Lovelace, Grace Hopper and Margret Hamilton, to: WE NEED MORE WOMEN IN TECH, WE NEED MORE WOMEN IN TECH!!!

Hey girls, is “uhhhh, uhhhh do you like hentai?” a good opening tinder line?

Why do popular media paint "programming" as easy... this is a very big deciet. please let stop this lies.
programming is not for everyone, not everybody can code.
and please dump the f**king "Girls can code" slogan.
there is no need for the hype.

Turning Internet Explorer and Microsoft Edge into anime girls does not change the fact that they still suck. I feel no pity.

!rant

Today came 2 girls to the office for an interview. Except we didn't invited them but another company in the building... (non tech)
Later we thought we should have started to interview them and ask dev questions and so on. Would have been interesting when they noticed they are in the wrong interview...

Why do such nasty ideas always pop up later?
😁

I miss those days when I used to sit and have endless dev related conversations with my university fellows. Now, all my non-dev friends only talk about girls, cars, vacations etc. FML

Colleague: "Hey, how do you scan the document from the printer to my laptop?"

"Hey, how can you help me to open the pdf?"

..

Why are devs treated like office boys/girls

I am standing in line for the bathroom at work. Why did we need more girls in IT again?

And this boys and girls,
Is how you start doing less work - apparently.

GitHub
Welcome to GitHub Copilot Technical Preview!

We’re thrilled to invite you to start testing GitHub Copilot. Your feedback will help us make it even better.

😎

Alright wish me luck boys and girls, actually started development on my first 'proper' application, building an sms client using the push bullet API for elementary OS...

First time using Vala, first time building something that isn't game or web related in a real world environment...

How does one find a gf that can code? 😉

Started my first private App project using all the goodies of 2017 android development like TDD, Android architecture components (hence MVVM), kotlin (which I yet have to learn), RxJava2 (if I need it additionally to AAC) and maybe try to set up a CI environment.

Wish me luck guys and girls 😁

I don't know your view on girls coding but I love it. They're vicious, focused and can do their job and instantly they can smile at you and make you forget everything. Thank you for being around the office.

So it seems Mr. Bean has still got it :)

Anyone have a good Dev meme for this shot? (He's looking at a fat guy with 2 young girls in his arms.)

A girl in my first year of college wasn't getting the correct output of a program, I asked her to show me the output screen by pressing Ctrl+F5 (we were using TurboC++).

She pressed Ctrl+ F+5.

If devRant let us text users directly, I wonder how many girls would get spammed...

[internet, real life, !dev]

I'm sitting 11h on the bus again.

You guys/girls/etc opinion on long term relationships?

I don't know why girls always leave a big cin at my messages... Maybe they are programmers too...

Well, everytime i say hie to a random girl, i swear they look at my shoes first, so i have resolved to stick my upcoming devRant stickers onto my shoes instead of my laptop

I'm hosting dancers for BluesShout! a dance festival in Chicago. Three of the people I'm hosting are developers (two girls, one guy). There are a lot of engineering types that dance. If you haven't done any social dancing, you should really give it a shot. Find a Lindy/Swing, Blues or Contra group and take a class. You might love it. 💃💜

I have friends married to girls from the Philipines. If there are some people from said country in here, would you mind telling me why their FB names, instagram names or whatever are things like:

"Cee La SomeShit still Trying <white dude surname>"
"Beauty Hope LoveThisSwag <whatever last name>"
"Leyla StillHaveDabooty <white surname>"

Like wtf, just put your fucking name, shit sounds SO fucking trashy

Well, support chat of my bank has nice avatars of persons answering my questions. But they so small...
Ok. Inspect element... Image link. Oh, it's just 2500x2500 image resized to 35x35... Now I just need a small hand-crafted chrome extension to add click to enlarge on these avatars.
These girls are really pretty though:)

Fellow females! Hollaback!!

I don't like it when guys use emojis when chatting with me. I find it weird.

But when girls do it, I like it. It's hot.🔥

I see here so much motivation in work you are doing and i am here standing without any inspiration, motivation in learning things, i can't stay focus more than several minutes reading interesting topic. I use to simulate and create different network, doing great stuff (i am or maybe was addict for networking) How you guy/ girls can do it? Some tips would be awesome.

Hate it when girls are NP-Hard to get

Why do valley girls hang out in odd numbered groups? Because they can't even.

Q: Why do girls wear purple clothes?
A: So that they can say they wear #906090!

A lot of things happened. Life has changed and forced me to leave social media for some months (including devRant).

I became a happier person. I learned how to handle stressful situations and improved my social skills. Started to not give a fuck about people and realised that I get girls' attention without me putting effort.

Some girls began to initiate conversations which I found odd because I wasn't used to it.

I went camping with some bros last week, we met girls and I have a date next week.

I still can't understand how I am attracting so many girls. I barely changed from the outside appearance.

In short: Life is going great which is ironic due to the corona virus.

Picking up girls

Me: We will be like C and Assembler.
Girl: Why?!
Me: Cuz I will decompile into you... ;)

I don't think it's special to understand or create a complex and difficult algorithm (to a certain degree).
But I have respect for those (male) devs, who understand women/girls.

Women rights weren't given to you by the government. They were given to you by girls throwing bricks at cops.

for some reason many of the girls at my school are obsessed with peppa pig and I just don't get it

Happy new year boys and girls.
Let’s hope the new one is not gonna be as fucked up
as the last one.

Just went to my highschool's computer science club meeting. My first annoyance was that they were going to have a 'girls who code' thing...But, they were in the same group as general population. So, essentially, it's separated between girls who code and human beings who code.

Then they said that they would likely be using Eclipse throughout the year. We may be having a bit of a debate

Another guy who doesn't even fucking know the spec of the device that asshole is holding, acts cool and fucking calls us nerds & losers (the devs due to whom all the coolness is possible with all those techs) and is so fucking dumb but gets the girls!!

The only thing I coded while drunk was a girls name and her phone number,
I write "leyla" and it then turned out her name was actually "irem"

Yeah I'm not going to open the pandoras box with drunk commits when I can fuck up a name 😐

Attend a global game jam with my cousin who is kinda lazy and is looking for girls. I find a good Unity developer and make him join our team. He coded and I helped for everything he needed for looking for music, graphics etc at the end he presented it and claimed all the credit

I like how I'm the only programmer or tech-kid in my school, since everybody else is using there phones for SnapChat and texting in the middle of class.
While I'm over here talking about the insides of software and hardware like if I were the person that made them.
Seriously, I wish I could show my classmates that spending all of their time on apps and websites that sell your personal data is less fun (and basically stupid) than actually making what you want with nothing but a text editor and computer.
But oh well, 90% of my classmates are either assholes, cringy white girls (or Mexican girls), and the only people I find tolerable or even likable, are the people that don't talk much.
(Like me)

What if girls 🤔

I'd really wish girls/women knew how fucking annoying it is when they are speaking loudly with each other at the company toilets, and stays there for 5-10 minutes to discuss what they did this weekend.
There are only two things I want/need to poop: SILENCE! and my phone.
I don't need the feeling of sitting in the middle of a Starbucks while taking a shit.

I showed a photo of my 3d printed gopher coding buddy to a girl and explained how it works. Non-dev. She told me don't show this anyone else. She has a point... I didn't consult my gopher first if he was okay with being shown.

Why does C get all the girls, and Java gets none?
– Because C doesn’t treat them as objects.

On the day your code goes live your phone feels like that of the powerpuff girls

Google Maps API's are like :-
The girls that are beautiful but difficult to get started with them once
BUT after the first interaction , everything goes amazing

her: he's probably thinking about other girls
me: *in CSS, both "display: inline-block" and "display: inline block" are perfectly valid things and they even mean the same*

Why do people use anime girls as profile picture on GitHub?