(Q: How much are you allowed to Google as a developer?)

“You’re allowed to Google as much as you want. This is not school, you’re employed to solve a problem. Nobody cares whether you Google for the answer or remember the answer from another Googling.”

Sometimes the answer is just ... savage.

Question: What is the most used language in programming?

Answer: Profanity

The best answer

The first one should be the answer

Teacher: answer this question without Googling
Me : *gives answer after using DDG*

When will people realize that Google isn't the only way to browse the internet

"42", the answer to life, the universe and everything, is the decimal representation for "*" in the ascii table. Got it? How cool is that?

Worst interview question (but actually answer) :

Interviewer : "How would you describe the Internet in one word?"

Me: "... Big"

I got the job by some miracle.

Searched stackoverflow and found the exact issue I was having. The question is from 2014.

The accepted answer is a messy hack. Fuck.

The second answer is clean, clear, concise. It was posted 38 minutes ago.

Is this real life?

Most emplyees do have employee numbers.
Mine is 42
I AM THE ANSWER

My whole interview was like:

"Do you want a beer or water?"

Apparently beer was the right answer, I'm working now since one year at the company

1. Search on google for an answer
2. Find someone asking the same question on some forum
3. See the question has an answer
4. The answer is "Please search yourself before asking. Thread locked."

This happens too often..

The perfect answer

When you run but the code doesn’t

They apparently think that I should answer every telegram/email/WhatsApp message immediately.
"You're looking at the screen the whole time anyways!"
.
.
.
(╯°□°） ╯︵ ┻━┻) 

That feeling when you Google for a solution and the answer that works for everybody doesn't work for you...

If you ask a question in a forum and figure out the answer yourself, for the love of God, please post the fricking answer.

"Never mind" is not at all helpful. Ugh. Stop being selfish peasants.

You know you're in for a difficult time when the answer on stack overflow has a code area with a scrollbar.

Yesterday all the staff were give a piece of paper with a question.

Question:
What will make you happy at work?

and our answer should be confidential.

My answer was: A Girlfriend

I' ll be going to the HR Office about this. I was just being honest.

I hate when I go on stack overflow to find an answer, and all the comments for the correct answer say, "awesome thanks!", "Works perfectly now, thanks!". While I sit staring at my screen feeling like a complete idiot because I don't understand the given answer at all!

Never question the management. They don’t know the answer either.

The answer they deserve

!rant
Fun fact from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

The answer to all 42, is a * in ASCII.

So I got an answer on Stack overflow

Answerer basically said "finding the error is tedious so I re-wrote your code"

They changed about 15 lines in their answer. I combed over it and found that I needed just one.

I put an answer myself, saying which line was missing (as the other answer didn't highlight the actual solution, and rather re-implemented my code)

My clear, concise answer was deleted by moderator for "Not adding anything new" (Except what the exact answer was to my problem, I guess)

Not my fucking problem. Make your own Q&A site harder to use, as if I give a fuck.

I wrote an answer, in my exam, about the precedence of operators.

Took a random example: "3+4*6", and explained that "*" has higher precedence, so "4*6" would be executed first and so on.

Long story short, this was the last line in my answer:

"The answer is 27, not 42."

I am a long time lurker on stackoverflow. There was a time I was stuck on an obscure error for so long but finally light shone when I found an answer to that problem on stackoverflow.

Overjoyed, all I wanted is to leave an upvote for the answer; before I realised that you need a +15 reputation before you can do (I know I am late in this game)

So I worked my way to that 15 and it was a tedious one. Stackoverlords deleting my answer, voting no to my edit and reverting another over petty reasons

I fought back by flagging my deleted answer with my reasons and alas the community backed me up by upvoting my answer (which was revived),the original answer poster approved my edit and @me a thank you comment. I was elated

And it is today, I got my +15. That I could finally pay back and upvote the answer from my benefactor

After my third job rejection I've finally found the answer. It kinda satisfies me...

Human: "Why did you buy an old iPhone?"

Me: "Mostly for cross-platform development"

*Apparently that was not the answer they were expecting*

Stop reading and JUST start writing code.

I've been stuck in coding limbo because I kept looking for the right answer.

And I've learnt over time that the right answer will come to you only when you know what exactly you're looking for.

So start coding.

Dear, Random guy that I wrote you an answer on StackOverflow.

I spent 15 minutes GOOGLING the issue for you because you either were fucking lazy or don't know how to use Google.

I wrote an answer for you on your shitty question with -2 rep explaining how to solve the issue and you just replied thanks and didn't even bother to either upvote or accept my answer. Not only did I solve your question I did it to bloody help you and here you are with your attitude not accepting my answer, and replying with thanks that i feel like you didn't care for me writing your answer. You can bloody hell burn in hell. I hope there is a special place for you and people like you that magically go missing and never come back

When the interviewer asks a question you have no idea of, but you still answer...

Ok so don't answer the question then?

Pretty sure I'm losing braincells while reading product reviews.

Interviewer:

Here is a pen and paper. Now code in front of me your answer from the preliminary exam.

One month ago. By email.

Boss: so, this client A has a problem with one of our devices and he believes that it's a bug in the software.

Me: all right then, what happens?

Boss: well, he says that the parameter P in the option menu does not changes the device's behaviour as it is supposed to. I'll forward you his mail. You will find attached an excell file with the results of his test performed with and without the parameter active.

Me: < read mail, read excell file > well, boss, his tests are performed in completely different conditions, how could he expect to infer a meaningful results from this?

Boss: damn, you are right. Send him a test plan and follow up.

Me: < send detailed test plan >

No answer in a week. Then...

Client: hi, there, I made this tests, I attached the excell with the results, can you check the software now?

Me: < read another bullshit filled excell file with none of the suggested test performed >
You know what? Just download the procedures you are using from the device and send them by mail, specifying the software version you are using so we can perform some tests here in the lab and get yo a solution asap.

No response. For a MONTH.

Super Boss: client A still has his problem, how could possibly be that it takes more than A FUCKING MONTH to solve his issue??

Me:...

This was an answer to the StackOverflow question, "What is the best comment in source code you have ever encountered?"

stackoverflow. the place where always the most un-popular answer solves my problem.

For the new episode of the devRant Podcast we're working on, we'd like to take questions for a new Q + A segment we're going to try. So if you have any questions you'd like me (dfox) or trogus to answer, ask it in a comment here. They can be about devRant, us, life, anything really! We'll
pick our favorites and answer them in the episode.

Every developers dream to answer in the same way to their cleints face

Note: it is a paid app

Finally the right answer

Friend: "what is the answer to this question?"

Me: "${answer}"

Friend: "yes, what is the answer?"

Me: "my bad"

Me: `${answer} is the answer`

Friend: "thanks man"

One of my favourite, encryption puzzles is this:

ITuyVT93oUZtLKWyVT5iqPO3nTS0VUEbMKxtp2IyoD==

Answer is plain text string in english. Good luck, post solution in the comments!

So I'm on stack overflow trying to give back to the community that has helped me so much yanno.

So I see a question and decide to answer it but I'm on my mobile and trying to write a well formatted etc. answer is a bit tricky so instead I thought I would answer it as best I could on the phone so at least the OP would be going in the right direction and then when I got back to my computer, I would expand on the answer.

But before I had a chance (within 10 minutes of answering) some 200k+ rep dickhead decided it was his job to tell me how bad I was for not giving a proper answer and i have enough rep to comment and I should know better.

So I responded to him (my first mistake) and told him that my answer was intended to get him going and most likely he wouldn't need any more help but that I was going to update it when I got back to my computer.

Well he didn't like that and continued to berate me for my unbelievable behavior.

I then said that if he was that upset, then report me, or even better how about he actually answer the question instead of being a fuckwit to others that have tried.

I also said that I thought that SO and development in general was not about being given the answer but by finding it yourself and actually learning something and that sometimes you need to be pushed it the right direction to find the answer which is what I did here.

Well he disagreed with that too and downvoted my answer which by that point had been updated (like I said I would).

I just don't get it, what is wrong with these people and why has SO become such a toxic place?

I want to give back to the community and help others like people have done for me over the years, but then fuckheads like this just ruin it and make you not want to be a part of it anymore.

Then I come here to devRant and everyone is so nice to each other, you can see the respect.

The answer to my deadline. HAHAHAHA

Damn you stackoverflow!

Why can't we declare an answer as outdated or deprecated or just plain out wrong!

I like that you have so many questions, yet when the correct solution is a 0-upvoted by a 0-rep user hidden at the very bottom between a huge amount of wrong answers and whereas the *accepted* yet wrong answer has upvotes that are skyhigh, it just wastes my time.

All that is achieved is a feedback loop enforcing a faulty answer will accumulate ever more upvotes. And waste somebody else's time in the future as well.

I cannot add the correct information, as that would harm the author's intent. I cannot edit the faulty answer to state that there is a better answer, as that would be an attempt to reply. I can downvote it, yet that just a tiny drop on a very hot stone.

All I can do is add a comment pointing to a correct answer, yet that is easily overlooked.

Come on, stackoverflow! This is madness!

When you answer to your own question and mark it as the best answer. 😎

Epic Answer ever.... Laughed to the core...

Ask a question on stack overflow , keep refreshing the page for few days to see the view count and hoping for an answer. Then after 4 days answer my own question #StoryOfMyLife

Am I the only one who looks at the answers first on stack overflow then the question when the answer does not relate to my problem?

FUCK I hate StackOverflow! I get a -2 on an answer from 2 years ago, so I delete the answer, but the -2 remains. Fair enough, until you see the COUNTLESS approved edits that I have made (+2 rep) that get automatically removed when the question is deleted. I made an approved edit, I deserve the FUCKING rep!

Trying to find the answer to a question for angular 2.
If it was posted yesterday it's probably outdated.

The most embarrassing moment is when you look at an answer in StackOverflow and think "Which stupid wrote this answer?" and look at the name only to realize that it was YOU!!!

Asked my Tech Lead a question, told me everything in Software Engineering, except the answer to that question!!

The answer to all your computer issues (now including the caching issues on websites): Restart your computer

Sometimes violence is the only one answer.

someone deleted my android app's backend folder from the server.
Now i have to answer why the mobile app is not responding.

I like paradoxes, I created one with multiple choice questions.

"Some stupid question" ?

A) answer 1
B) answer 2
C) None of the above
D) All of the above (paradox)

#killingtime

That was the fu***ng smart answer... (!)

Trick to get answer on the internet...

practiseSafeHex:

software engineer, iOS developer, mobile developer, professional "here is the answer I gave you the last time you asked me the same question" responder

I love DuckDuckGo. <3
I've DuckDuckWent a question and it instantly gave me the answer :D

The Gif v Jif war but with brackets. The right answer is Gif just as the right bracket style is {
}

When people keep telling you that Google has the answer

Every 20 minutes, the newcome colleague asks me a question to which he can get an answer by reading the language's tutorial.

Stand up... Walk away...

The Coding Gods will deliver the answer to you when you are ready to receive it.

Can we just have a second to be thankful for being in a position where history grants us the technology and society the possibilities to work with computers?

Thanks 🙂

Guys, please help me answer this intellectual being. The more stupid the answer, the better. Even better is if there is like a fake loooooonnnngggg step by step guide of it. NB: tafadhali == please.

2nd round of the interview, we talked kinda a lot, but I don’t know if I answer well to the question

The moment when you have to answer your own question on stackoverflow :/

Usually when you ask "I have a problem with service X, who wrote it?".
The answer is "Y wrote it but he left the company XYZ years ago".
In company I currently work the the answer is "Oh yes X wrote it 20 years ago, go ask him"

"How do you make an app?"
The most difficult answer to explain to someone that knows nothing about code.

how to get unstuck?

sleep on it, the answer will come to you in your dreams

haha...

Oh my God. New pet peeve:

People who answer questions on Amazon with an answer like "idk I just got this :(" or "idk man I bought it as a present."

Why the fuck do you feel the urge to answer a fucking question without actually answering it? Like are you that fucking stupid? Jesus Christ.

Those 10 seconds when there is a feature request and you have to answer the question "How much time will it take?" inTheSpot

Unrelated joke, but please what's the answer

the answer 😮

Project for school: The answer in most cases is no. I feel glad I could make a documentary on this topic.

Me reading a forum after long hours of debugging and research...
YES THIS IS IT THIS IS MY FUCKING ISSUE!
* Me reading some answers I have tried already *
COME ON GIVE ME THE ANSWER
* Me reading the last answer *
"I was able to resolve the issue thanks for all the answers...
bye"
OP marked problem as solved
FOR FUCKS SAKE GIVE ME THE SOLUTION OF FUCK OFF

If java is the answer, it must have been a really verbose question

I learnt it!
00210121021112011211211120102000212101021112100202
Whoever decodes it, is the cool guy on devRant

Blender. The answer to that question is always Blender. Such amazing, huge thing.

And right after that, git, of course.

After that, probably Linux.

*Intensely staring the screen and solving a problem in my head, I can feel I'm close to the final answer, the answer to the truth, the holy Line of Code and that it will forever chang-*
PM: hey, do you know why my mouse doesn't click anymore?

...

You know you are desperate for an answer when you look at the second page of Google

Probably the most useful answer in stackoverflow (atleast for me)

10 minutes coding.. 60 minutes debugging... 5 minutes crying.. 5 minutes distracted... Finally the answer come and I resolve the problem.

During interview...

Interviewer: Do you know what is JQuery?
Applicants: Yes?
Interviewer: what is JQuery?
Applicants: am.... (in a couple of minutes thinking, the right answer that could be)
Applicants: JQuery is Java Query?

a pretty honest mistakes where the applicant do not know the answer and looks confident during interview

I hate it when I ask the customer where did they test it or where the error is.. On test or on production? And the answer is yes. O.o

When you find a question on stackoverflow and you know the exact answer.
But you're not in the mood to explain and put details.

next

That moment when the first comment in your first SO answer is:

"This should be a comment"

Spended 30 minutes try to answer a question on stackoverflow, the question deleted just before I posting the answer

That moment when your working for hours on an issue and the answer comes to you in the middle of the night whilst your sleeping.

Turns out Google round off the answer automatically, just like that, no side note, nothing, just round off.

Me: API support, please check why I'm getting ECONNTIMEDOUT for 3% of requests

supp: before we look into this, please answer these questions: a), b), c), d), e)

Me and coleague: *spend 20 minutes gathering all the details into a nice answer. Post the answers*

Slack bot: *removes the answer [allegedly for compliance/security]*

api supp: any update?

..... I really want to smash smth. Hulk SMASH!!!

Give a man the answer and help him for the day. Teach a man to Google and shut down half the help desks in the world.

When answer has 180 points on stackoverflow and it isn't even an accurate solution for the posted problem.

after google-ing a computer fix i sometimes re-google the answer to make sure it's legitimate.

Helping out on stackoverflow and getting the best answer is SO REWARDING!

Question for EM interview:

'How did you cultivate talent and aggressively manage the execution of your team?'

Answer:
I do not wish to proceed.

Most days I want to answer the question of “What do you do for a living?” with “I send emails”. It would sadly be a very honest answer.

How I get through these days?

Learn CSS GRID.
It’s like 42. The Answer to everything.

There's a place in Hell for those who ask a question, find the answer, and never report back on their findings.

I applied for a job and had to answer some questions.

What is the output of $a ?
<?php
$a = 123 == 0123;

Q:Why should a professor teach things that aren't in the source book?
A: so he can get an exam that not even himself can answer properly!
Q: But why?
A: no one knows the answer. It's one of the philosophic questions that has no answer. But maybe to hurt his students!

The ability to find the right answer on Stack Overflow with one click.

I gotta share my favorite ever SO question that I flagged... here's a screenshot. Props to the person for having the balls to post it.

Just finished signing my first ever professional contract. Shortly after I was given a conpany sheet where I had to give part of my personal info and answer some fun questions, one of which was what super power would you want to have?
My answer was obviously: The ability to always find the missing ';' 😂😂😂

Waiting for a answer, of the University i applied for (master degree) is like:

I need to check my mails
*5 minutes later*
I need to check my mails

They said, they will answer between 15th july and 1th september..

A useful guide of general rules for junior devs, while asking questions to senior devs.

1) If you're a junior dev, you're going to not know stuff. A lot of stuff. That's perfectly fine and expected. The more you realise you don't know, the more you move forward.

2) If you don't know something, duckduckgo it. If after at least 1 hour and a max of 2 hours of searching you still don't get it, ask someone.

3) If the senior dev just gives the answer directly, it means they think you should've already known the answer.

4) If the senior dev just gives the reasoning behind it, but not the answer, it means you should know most of it, but you can probably arrive at the answer with a bit more reasoning and it's a unique problem.

5) If the senior dev gives you the answer with an explanation, it's a very good question and you will likely get to learn something you didn't know already.

Replace senior dev with stack overflow and it still works the same.

!Rant
The moment you understand something, that you read the documentation instead of searching for the exact answer to your problem.

Hardest part of bring a newbie programmer? Figuring out which keywords to use when you search Google, to get the right answer

Imagine if everybody would actually answer with the truth to the question "How are you?", instead of going with the classic "fine, thank you" polite answers.

It is so frustrating to be searching for a problem, find a possible answer on Stack Overflow, and click on it to find out that the only answer was some douche bag explaining to the poster how their question is irrelevant or explain how much more they know. Either answer the question or help them politely.

Case In Point:
Q:
"Is there a ____ library that does _____?

A:
"Why would you want to do that? There are far better ways."

Either provide the "ways" or shut up.

I ran across this middle school question on Facebook and the most common answer is 9.... I try to have faith in humanity. I really do.... just so its clear (I assume if you're a dev you understand the order of operations and I'm not talking to you), the answer is 59.

I think there is such a thing as "getting too comfortable with the people you work with".

My boss came over and wanted to show me how to do a new process. We start going through the steps and a question arises. I then IM my team lead, because he's the one who would know the answer, and all I get back from him is sarcastic comments and profanity (he doesn't know my boss is sitting at my comp with me). So I keep trying to get him to be serious, and he just keeps his mouth (well, fingers) going. (He is remote - not in our bldg). I want so badly to shut him up because what if he says something about my boss while she is sitting there? Not that he does that, but at the pace he's going, it no longer would surprise me.

There should be some sort of code to hint to your team to STFU and give a fucking answer when one is needed. Sort of like what kids do to hint that a parent is in the room, but for work?

That moment when you are looking for a solution for a problem, there is the exact problem already on the stackoverflow, but with no answer...
And then the feeling when you somehow solve the problem, post the answer and get an upvote :)

Answer to the century old question.

I give the same answer to every Junior

FFS jQuery is not the answer to every JS question!!!!!

Question: Why did the DataBase Administrator divorce his wife?
.
.
.
.

Answer: She had "one-too-many" relations

I love this Google's Colab feature, when I saw it, I just laughed for no reason!
A button to the answer :)

Back in grade 7. B was the only correct answer.

Being the wanting to learn a lot student I asked a ton of questions, my first programmer lecture would instead of answer my basic answers said she'd get back to me tomorrow, never did.

She also in the tutorials would when would ask if I was doing alright with the exercise would at "hang on let me get the answer sheet".

I never saw her for semester two.

“Walk away from the screen, the answer will come when you least expect it.”

Do you listen to music while you code? And what genre if the answer is positive?

The best answer 😂

When throwing more hardware at a problem is always the chosen answer rather than fixing the performance issues...

Trying to answer a React mapping problem on stackoverflow.
It's a relatively simple problem.
While I'm typing... all sorts of wrong answers keep popping out.

Oh geez.
People are hungry for reputation

In the end, I removed my solution, and leave the answer in the comment. This is not my fight 🤦‍♂️

me: *goes to stack overflow to get some points*
*searches for questions I only know*
*scrolls down to find unanswered questions*
*keeps scrolling*
*finds a question I can answer*
*types in my answer*
*finds out that someone has answered
the question with better explanation*
*decides not to submit my answer*
*looks for other questions to answer*
*keeps scrolling*
*scrolls some more*
*scrolls for the last time*
*realizes I'm Jon Snow*
*exits stack overflow*

A half answer on SO gives me a pointer to a possible solution. Using that pointer, I actually find an answer and it's quite involved. So to help others with the same question, I edit the answer to complete it with the additional steps. No edits to the answer involved, just a few additional steps.

😡 The answer author comments that they appreciate the info, but they reject my edit so their answer isn't changed!

What a douchebag.

Guys, I think I know the answer...

So we were having our Computer Science lab just this morning and this girl wasn’t able to get the right output for a JAVA program.
Actual answer: 5.71
Her answer: 6.34
Her explanation: “Maybe I’m not getting the output because I am on a different system, try this on your computer, please?”
My reaction :

What is the similarity of Java and JavaScript?

ANSWER: They are both ugly.

I have this math teacher and, wow, is she good at math. And, wow, should she never enter another field in her life. Today she asked us if anyone does code. The answer is yes, but I refuse to answer something that uses code as a verb.

How to remove the write protection on a .docx file under linux?
Well, duckduckgo has the answer.

Algo strikes very often or people just continue to repost the same things... maybe I know the answer. 🤔

colleague : Hey I resolved yesterday's error.
me : really? how?
colleague : found it on stackoverflow.
me : Oh. From the question or the answer?

burrrrn!!!

Worst thing I’ve seen another developer do?

Asking a simple question before trying to google the answer.

When your Comp Sci teacher goes to stack overflow and looks in the comments for the answer instead of actually looking for the answer...

At Italian lesson: The professor asks me "What is a sentence?" I answer "it's a CharSequence". He looked me very badly

That feel when you find the answer for your problem on a lost comment in a StackOverflow question

When will the cookies(PHP) expire? Non-programming answer: It depends if you put it in the freezer or not LOL

When bugs are seen by the client and boss therefore asks me "did you know about this bug?", what I'd really like to answer is:
"well shit, no! I would have solved that or at least told you about it, don't you think? what kind of fucking question is that?"

But then I just answer "no, lemme check"

The algo has AI also . Now it can fimd an sarcastic answer too.

Question: What is the difference between Android 2.1 and 2.2?
Answer: 6 months

Based on @darksideofyay "poll feature" request I made a simple bot to make them.

Just post this as a comment:
@PollBot Q: <Your question>?
A:
- <Answer 1>
- <Answer 2>

// Up to 10 answers
It will post a comment for each answer, just upvote the one you like (look at the upvotes to see the result of the poll).

P.S. It's not ideal and it's running on a mini PC in my house, so it could fail sometimes. :P

Google has got the correct answer. If just Asimov knew it!

Sleep is always the answer. Go to sleep, wake up, cringe, and go on a deleting spree. Voila!

Why you prefer sublimetext over notepad++ ?

The answer I got in most interviews is : It has a nice GUI.

How many times I went to sleep frustrated with a problem I couldn't solve and woke up the other day with the answer in mind :P

while writing a software for records compilation for a high school, the principal asked if the software would be able to mark the answer sheets from the students,

I'm taking, non multiple choice answer sheets.
hand written.

how?

Fix this:

AAABBABBBAABBAB BAABB AABABABBBABAAABAABBAAABAABAABB BAABBAABBBAAAAABAABB BBAAAABBBABABAA BAAABAABAA AAAAABABBAAABAABAABAABBBAABBAAAABAA

----------------------
Good luck! Post your answer in the comments.

Google is faster than my computer's calculator launching..

I'm still typing, he already gives me the answer.

I feel like only software engineers and IT can answer 2 part questions. Everyone else just answers the first one...

--- Visits stackoverflow for an answer
. You find the accepted answer amazing... Yep this is what I'm looking for. (You copied the code into your source)
.
.
. scrolled down a little bit
.
.
. You saw another answer with a higher upvote. Ooh lala, this is fucking cool. (You copied and replace your source again)
.
. scrolled down once again
.
. You noticed yet another answer which is the most recent and a lot shorter implementation of what you just copied. (No shit! You copied and replace your source yet another time)
.
. scrolled down for the last time maybe and it looks like the previous was the last.
. But then...
.
. you saw a comment with lots of upvotes even more than the accepted answer and this comment points to a link.
.
. You clicked the link with your mouth salivating waiting to see what holds at the other side of the world which amount this so much upvotes.
.
. And Tadaaaa 404 not found!
.
. You feel hunted by that mysterious link for the rest your life...

"Where do new ideas come from? The answer is simple: differences. Creativity comes from unlikely juxtapositions." - Nicholas Negroponte

I'm looking at old code that I wrote around half a year ago, and noticed that my coding style changed over time (relying more on arguments to pass messages between commands and functions, rather than sourcing the result of a command). I feel like this old code isn't truly mine anymore. It's thousands upon thousands of lines of code though... Given that, would you rewrite it or just move along with the existing design? I mean in my opinion the current code really sucks.

When you try to help on Stack Overflow but every fracking question that you have the answer to gets at answer 8.7 milliseconds by Jon Skeets everywhere that monitor the new questions page!

I noticed I adopted a method when people just can't answer something simple like "well how long is it going to last?" and then getting an answer like "I don't know", which to I reply "Well, what's the average it lasts?" and they suddenly remember it again, fucking knobs

people that answer a question with another fucking irrelevant question should have a special place in hell !!

why dont you just answer the fucking question when in the first place i asked you politely and nicely !!

the question doesn't even deserve a fucking follow up question in the first place !!

you've wasted both our time with your stupidity!!

Share it with someone. They don't need to answer back.
Just lay down your thought process. I often find the answer reveals itself while trying to explain the problem with someone else.

Morning, start work, play a song for concentrating 🔥.

Calls the CEO 🦸 stop the song, answer, play, calls the PM 🧞 stop, answer, play, calls the stagaire 🧚 calls colleague🏃calls supplier🤺 song is at 1:00, restart song, song is too good to listen like this, play from the beginnig, calls the CEO 🦸

Every time a Indian dude mails me at work I always get the urge to just answer:
Sorry I dont have bobs and vagene

I hate all the idiots who mark completely wrong answers on SO as the accepted best answer. THE ANSWER IS WRONG GENIUS!!

!dev

Reeeeddit is a strange place. You can be on an advice sub, answer the question and the OP agrees with your answer and people are still gonna downvote it.

What the actual basement dwelling neckbeard virgin fuck is this shit lol

When the junior fe pushes directly to the brunch you are working on and crashes everything

And he doesnt answer in slack

Loooooove this place

The flipside of too much googling for each and every API references is that one fails to answer simple interview questions..

"Education is not the answer to the question. Education is the means to the answer to all questions. " - William Allin

Testing had some issues with system integration. I asked them what their setup was.

Answer: "Almost similar to the real hardware."

LMAO!

"This question is unlikely to help any future visitors"

For all the people that answer anyway or answer before this happens, thank you.

To the assholes who do this at SO: I can't tell you how many specific problems I've had where a question that did help me had this.

You all suck. Go fuck yourself off a cliff. The entire site is built on the backs of people who get shat on by a small elitist community that likely couldn't code themselves out of a box.

Again, to those who still answer... thank you. To those who still ask questions in spite of the abuse... thank you.

I want the ability to find the answer in stack overflow in one click

No really. Logs have the answer, or at least point you to one.

You know the truth will upset people.

I mean I'm trying to answer React, Typescript, mobX, Node.js related questions on stackoverflow, 1Q/day.

dear fucking client, why are you giving me only the "???" as an answer to my well written documentation and explanation about the latest bugfixing.
WHY? What could I possibly get out of this shitty answer? #fml

During my university days, we had a basic programming quiz. One of the questions is to "write a program that will determine if a number is even or not".

An annoying seatmate asked me silently if his answer is correct. Then I saw his window:

=========================
> Enter an even number: 10
> The number is even.
=========================

I told him it's correct.

After the test his answer is marked as wrong.

"You told me it's correct!", he said to me.

I approached the professor, and told him that his answer is correct.

"What if I enter 3?", professor said.

I told him, "User Error".

Am I the only one who always ask on stack overflow but never answer? #theworstdeveloper

Interviewer asked me to design the Energizer Bunny. I looked at him like he had 2 heads. Apparently that was the right answer.

A pratice paper for web development. How does this have anything to do with HTML5? I could have sworn the answer was A.

Hired me on Upwork, now the deadline is coming near and he is too busy to answer any of my attempts to get response...

How about this feature for StackOverflow:
If the questioner checkmarked an answer, but another answer gets 10 times more upvotes than the checkmarked answer, send a notification telling the questioner to re-consider the checkmark.
Wouldn't this bring peace and prosperity to devDom?

Can somebody stand behind me with a taser and tase me when I'm not productive.

I have been trying everything but can't get myself to get any work done. Which is stressing me out making it even harder to concentrate.

So I'm hoping the fear of being tasered can scare me into productivity.

The feeling of wanting to work but not being able to is one of the most annoying frustrating feelings in the world. And it's slowly destroying my business.

So anyone got some ideas, I just need to get like a week of work done. But been trying now for 2 months and got like a day of work done.

And has anyone build a fun to do list app yet that is complity gamified maybe I can trick myself in doing more.

When someone (and this is typically someone non-dev and not a very structured person) says "Can I ask you a question" and, upon an affirmative answer to that, fires away a whole bunch of questions without waiting for an answer to the first of the questions.

Pleeeease! If you expect an answer, ask me one. question. at. a. time. Or write a freaking e-mail.

one of the many downsides to developing alone, you are basically stuck waiting for an answer on forums/discord/etc..

Console.WriteLine("What is the answer to the universe")

Don't trust each and every answer on stackoverflow, think outside the box and follow the manual

Question: Why did the jQuery developer never have financial problems?
Answer: Because he was in $.noConflict() mode

On stackoverflow it's always the least upvoted answer that solves the problem most of the time. Why

today

me: How should we proceed with the tests?
customer: Yes

(it was a longer technical how question but the answer was the same)

Answering a question on Stackexchange. The OP accepts your answer as correct. Then seeing someone correcting your English Grammar on the answer. That someone happens to be Drupal and English language moderator at the same time...fucking awesome.

One of my pet peeves is coming across a post on stackoverflow with an awesome answer and even a comment from the OP saying this is exactly what I needed but it's not marked as the answer. Really? It's longer to write the comment.

When you answer a question on stack overflow and the person who asks it changes the question and (presumably is the one who) downvotes your answer

Thats the answer 🤣

Who am I?

Where am I?

I ask these question every single day and I still don't know the answer.

(...)

TFW you open a StackOverflow question only to find the answer you need in the question itself and not even in a comment or answer.