At Google headquarters:

"Today seems to be a bright day"
*Angular 5 is out*

"Sir, I need to change something small, shall I do a pull?"
*Angular 6 is out*

"It's Pichai's birthday today!"
*Angular 7 is out*

"Wussup"
*Angular 8 is out*

Famous last words:
-"This change was so small, so there's no need for tests. I'll just deploy right away."

One of my worst meetings, as the sheer rage was unbelievable.

Backstory:
Architect: "Stop duplicating code", "stop copy pasting code", "We need to reuse code more", "We need to look at a new pattern for unit tests" etc.

Meeting:
Architect: What did you want to talk about?

Me: I built a really simple lightweight library to solve a lot of our problems. Its built to make unit testing our code much easier, devs only need to change a small bit of how they work.

Architect: I like the pattern a lot, looks great ... but why a library? can we not just copy the code from project to project?

... do you have a twin or something?

You don't need to pay attention to class if you can hack into your university's servers and change your grades 🤔😎

At my company we need to change our passwords every month and every month I add a an extra exclamation mark at the end of my password. Now after 5 years there is an unbearable amount of exclamation marks so I tried to change my my password to 'beefstew'.

Apparently it wasn't stroganoff.

Thanks to some random guy on a forum at page 100000000000000 of duckduckgo I figured out that I need to change the USB mode of my laptoo-tablet in order to allow UEFI booting.

HOW DIFFICULT IS IT TO FUCKING PROPERLY DOCUMENT THAT?!

Dev: boss, there are some abnormalities and confusion in the client's specifications.

Boss: So?

Dev: Shouldn't we get clear about them and then start coding?

Boss: No need. We assume and code. Then show them to our clients and then ask for their opinions. We will change again according to their opinion.

Dev: ..

A few months later....

Dev: *seeing so many specifications change and realizing now have to refactor a lot of codes* , FML.

First day at new web dev job:
Me: what IDE do you guys use?
Coworker: Notepad/notepad++
M: Okay... Any version control?
C: Oh we don't need it. We just update the server pages.
*Boss walks in*
Boss: Heres the project for you to do just need you to rebrand this web app we made for client A for client B just need to change some scripts. Should only take afew hours.

I take a look. No comments. Not formatted. Missing braces and brackets. Semicolons at odd places and missing at others. 7802 lines of code...

Dev : Can you change permissions for conf file please ?
Me : Yeah sure, what permissions set do you need ?
Dev : 667
Me: ...

Client : hey there is a minor change in the iOS app.
Me : got it. Done. Sending the build now.

After 5 mins.

Client: heh, few more UDIDs. Can you add them ?
Me : yep. Sure.

After 10 mins.

Client : Hey, need a small change. The text field need to be little bit left.
Me : ugh. Okay. Will do it. Sending another build.

After 1 hr.

Client : hey, need a small help.

Me : Offline.

In my hunt for the perfect productivity app I came upon something called Freeter.

It is a productivity app that lets me gather what I need for the work I'm working on, and then manage it all in one place.

For me, It's super nice to be able to check tasks in Trello, or communicating in Slack without having to change tabs or open a new browser.

Try it out and tell me what you think

"You know that feature we told you to put back in again after we told you to take it out after we had that meeting where we decided to put it back in again after we agreed to take it out after that change request was submitted to add it? We're going to need you to take it out again."

Exhibit B in an upcoming murder trial. I'm pleading justifiable homicide.

devRant is going to change the stereotype of introverted programmers. Clearly we are not! We just need the right people to talk to :)

Past me : There's no need for testing. It's only a small change.

Never been so wrong...

Dev: Hey, I need you to see something.
Client: ok
Dev: this is the models of those reports you need
Client: ok, wait, what is that number? This is wrong, we can't...
Dev: hey, calm down, this is not the production, it's just fake database!
Client: ah, ok.
(5 minutes of explantion)
Dev: so, what do you think?
Client: just one point, that data is very very wrong, we need to change this ASAP!

"So you need access to the test server?"
Me:"Yes"
"Please fill these 800000000 forms,sign here,get your blood sample,your ID ,your right kidney,letter of approval from your boss,...."

Fuuuuuuuck!!!! I just want to change only 3 lines of code!!!!!!

Dev: We need a better name than “Data” for this class. It’s used for displaying a set of tiles with certain coordinates so maybe TileMap would be a bit more declarative?

Manager: No I don’t like that. Data is perfectly fine, this class is for managing data so it’s perfectly declarative you just need to get better at reading code. If you have to change it then DataObject or DataObjectClass might be a bit more specific.

Dev: …

Dev1: We need you to name this service
Dev2: Name it whatever
Dev1: You should name it
Dev2: Can we change it later?
Dev1: No
Dev2: Are you going to have dependencies on the name
Dev1: Yes
Dev2: Call it StupidDev1
Dev1: Ok we will name it

"Make it a bit more darker"
Me - "Okay"
"Ummm..a bit more lighter? Sorry, this is such a minor change,I figured it wouldn't need any documentation"
Me - "It's alright"
"Could you please make this text small, and reduce the opacity to 70%"
Me - *Rise in the levels of mental irritation, body's and blood's temperature*
"Oh and don't forget to add some tint to the background"
"Hey, sorry I forgot. We need to add another text below this image."
Me - Oh man oh man

rant¡

Client: "Can you add some logos to the homepage?"
Me: "Sure, I've just added it, take a look at staging."
Client: "Great, we can move it to live"

** 5 days later after it being moved to live and telling them I'm going on holiday. **

Client: "EMERGENCY change logo now, we need to change x logo. These logos look crappy too. How did this happen?"

Fuck this. I'm not employed by you, you don't have any right to speak to me like that. Especially after working tirelessly for your company.

**sent email back explaining how to upload files**

Told them not to contact me unless it's technically related.

"The customers of our webshop are able to change their billing address... We don't want our customers to be able to do that."

(in a few months with the new general European data protection regulation I need to code it in again, so I just removed the html...)

Senior Engineer -
Hey. I have a code that hits API to get details and multithreading is implemented. Can you just change the URL formed to hit Api?

Me
Yeah sure why not.

Me
After some time I discover that the initial code itself wasn't working 😐
I realise i need to fix code, fix multithreading and then make the URL changes.

Just finished......Realised had to rant....

Me: "Team, we need to make a call. We have 2 options to deal with issue X: we either apply the mechanism A, sort the issue out right away, but risk creating another issue in the long run, or we take another path and try and change the process revolving around X to make it less painful if any."

Colleague: *calls me on Slack*

Me: "You, tsup?"
Colleague: "You said you wanted a call"

Me: *that's not the call I had in mind......*

I just told my biggest client that they have to start changing things or they will need to find a different company to work with.

I'm hired to program what they want. They are suppossed to do all the concepting, functional designs, QA, testing.

So they tell me to program feature x, not realising that this interact with feature y. And then complain about the change in feature y. Make me do a lot of extra work and then complain that my estimates are way off.

So I told them they also need to hire my company for the software design and QA and prefferable testing because I'm done getting blamed.

I'd like to tell a story about a friend I once knew. She was good at her job, but only her job. People loved her so much, but when the people got interested in things other than her job, they took her with them. She was forced to do things she couldn't do as well, and all because people couldn't change. She feels overused, overworked, and she still tries to keep her head up. People need to stop using her.

#KeepJavaScriptOnTheWeb

i start develop using windows, but as the time goes by, i really feels the need to change to linux/mac-os.

now i know

Just made my Coffee maker smart. All i need to do is change filter the rest is automatic! 👍

Boss : Need very very little change on our project
Dev : Ok, what is the change?
Boss : This, this, this, this and just this one.
Dev : Really very very little.

Day 1: Client requested this change! Please do it!
[Make the change]
Day 2: Hold on, this is a new request and out of scope. we should reject this change.
[Rollback change]
Day 3: Client said they really need it. Please make the change.
[rollmyeyes]

My argument: Password change policies (every 3, 6 moths, etc.) are a detriment to security because users will either come up with simple, throw-away passwords (knowing they will need to change them soon anyways) or use the same password anyways with a few variations.

Discuss.

"It's just a tiny change in one function. What can go wrong? I don't need to test, I'm not that stupid to mess this up". Apparently I am. Pushed the changes, and the [Firefox] extension basically stopped working. Lost about 1.5k users in 2 days. Good times ;)

Share your VS Code installed extensions here.
Mine is: Alignment, Better Comments, change-case, Colonize, CSS Peek, DotENV, File Utils, GitLens (my favorite!), Gulp Snippets, JS-CSS-HTML Formatter, Laravel 5 Snippets, Laravel Blade Snippets, Material Icon Theme, npm Intellisense, Numbered Bookmarks, Path Intellisense, PHP Debug, PHP DocBlocker, PHP Intelephense, PHP IntelliSense, Prettify JSON, Quokka.js, snippet-creator, Vetur.

Feels like there are redundant extensions here that I need to uninstall.
Happy Friday and Cheers! Excited for Infinity War movie! 😎

-> everyone at the company uses git
-> asked to change some stuff
-> boss says "don't remove the old code, just comment it in case we need it in the future"
-> ...
-> ???

Mid-Friday: Boss: Start programming this application.
Me: Cool, how will it be setup? what lang-
Boss: Everything's already setup, just start programming in PHP. Check in and make sure it's done by Wednesday morning before 9.
Mid-Tuesday:
Me: Cool, it's done. Had some trouble with connecting our database to the clients, some permissions were conflicting.
Boss: Now I need you to pull it, publish it to our other azure portal, change it to ASP.NET Core 2.1 MVC and install it to teams. Also change the database to MySQL.
Me: I thought everything was already setup.
Boss: things change.
Me: Cool.
*Pulls an all nighter*
Me: Something isn't right...
Wednesday
Me*hasn't slept yet*: It's done.
Boss: Why do you look so tired?
Me: I was working last night
Boss: Well you shouldn't do that.
Me: The deadline is today. only way it was going to get done before 9 was to do it last night.
Boss: Doesn't matter.
9am Meeting:
Boss: it was easy, no hassle, it's up and running.
Me: no hassle?

Mgmt: We need performance metrics' comparison for those 2 tests ASAP, we'll ping you every 5 minutes

AWS Cloudwatch: *unusually slow - takes ~2 minutes to add/remove a metric or change the timeframe*

Me: *fuck*

AWS Autologout: "Let me just intervene here right before you take that screenshot that took you 1.5 hours to filter out..."

Dev: I need you to do X

IT: Ok we will do Y

Dev: I don’t want Y I want X

IT: Well you’ll need to go through the change request process then since you have just modified your requirements.

Dev: …

Hey op, I have to change the new SingletonPojo() constructor. it's private and I can't access it.

Me:"wha...do whatever you need, I'm busy."

*Some day after, seeing how he's using my Singleton*

...
New SingletonPojo ().getInstance();
...

Good Lord have mercy of us.

What the F**K? Why Marketing department always think they know better than IT Department? They always tell us "What so difficult to do this thing? You guys must have templates and change a few things!"

Let me give you some insight here, that this guy is the guy who buy website templates from programmers, change things and upload the site to Bluehost or Wordpress, That's all he do.

Our Software Archictect, colleagues and I personally went from "What the f***?" to "Are you f**king Kidding Me? "

Sometimes I just want to tell him this "Hey you mother f**ker, based on your f**king statement , why would you need programmers then? You guys can just buy the templates and change things".....

F**k you Marketing Department!

My code review nightmare?

All of the reviews that consisted of a group of devs+managers in a conference room and a big screen micro-analyzing every line of code.
"Why did you call the variable that? Wouldn't be be more efficient to use XYZ components? You should switch everything to use ServiceBus."
and/or using the 18+ page coding standard document as a weapon.

PHB:"On page 5, paragraph 9, sub-section A-123, the standards dictate to select all the necessary data from the database. Your query is only selecting 5 fields from the 15 field field table. You might need to access more data in the future and this approach reduces the amount of code change."
Me: "Um, if the data requirements change, wouldn't we have change code anyway?"
PHB: "Application requirements are determined by our users, not you. That's why we have standards."
Me: "Um, that's not what I ..."
PHB: "Next file, oh boy, this one is a mess. On page 9, paragraph 2, sub-section Z-987, the standards dictate to only select the absolute minimum amount of the data from the database. Your query is selecting 3 fields, but the application is only using 2."
Me: "Yes, the application not using the field right now, but the user stated they might need the data for additional review."
PHB: "Did they fill out the proper change request form?"
Me: "No, they ...wait...Aren't the standards on page 9 contradictory to the standards on page 5?"
PHB: "NO! You'll never break your cowboy-coding mindset if you continue to violate standards. You see, standards are our promise to customers to ensure quality. You don't want to break our promises...do you?"

Me 2 days ago :
"I have applied to so many places, and did lots of interview for my internship. Still no result so far. Maybe I need to take some odd jobs to cover my bills while I improve my coding skills. Rent and food need to be paid, you know.
But I will keep applying to at least 40 companies before I change my strategy"

Me today :
"OMFG, they offered me a position despite my very bad interview!!"
🤩

So whoever is still looking for a job out there, don't give up man... We are in this together.👍👍

> You need to make this small change, it won't cause any problem I swear

The small change:

Zebra crossing need a change

"The aim is to develop highly robust data streams so we have the flexibility to build and evolve the user interface without having to change code in the API"

Oh, is that all you need?

I need a new 'main' language to do all my projects in as java is kind of grinding away at my psyche.

Golang I liked quite a lot when I used it for my job a year ago, I'll give that a try..

Golang installed and up and working fine.

Oh, I know lets see if there are GLFW bindings for golang. And sure there are lets go!

Oh I need gcc and mingwex + mingw32 which I will acquire through cygwin.

hmm.. mingwex + mingw32 not found and my drive is almost full. I'll reinstall on my D:\ drive before continuing troubleshooting.

> Delete C:\Cygwin Access denied.
> cmd rmdir c:\test /s /q Access denied.
> Change permissions Access denied.

No problem I just don't own this object!

> Change to be the 'object owner' Success!
> Change permissions Success!
> Delete C:\Cygwin Access denied.
> cmd rmdir c:\test /s /q Access denied.
> takeown /F C:\Cygwin /A /R /D Y Success!
> cmd rmdir c:\test /s /q Access denied.

At this point it would be more efficient to manually open up my ssd, and using a fridge magnet change every single bit to be exactly what I want it to be.

Or install linux.

You know you learned a lot in the last year when you try to change something on a website you made 1 year ago and it is almost impossible.

The code is not well structured. PHP mixed with HTML, functions that should be organized as a class etc.

I really, really, need to refactor the entire site!

Think My manager is following me on this, need more anonymity @dfox need to change my username and put a balaclava on my avatar

Parked the car in a parking lot 15 mins before job interview. Plenty of time to spare.

Go to pay for parking.

Ticket machine doesn't accept cards. Fine, I have notes.

Ticket machine doesn't accept notes. Shit, I need to go get change quick.

FUCKING FUCKER DOESN'T ACCEPT £1 COINS WELL WHAT THE FUCK TO YOU ACCEPT THEN YOU FUCKING FUCK I'M GOING TO BE LATE FOR MY JOB INTERVIEW OR GET A £80 FUCKING PARKING FINE

Boss: "i need you to build a feature so that customers can do bla bla bla and it has to be done by friday.

Dev: "Ok i can do it fast if you sure this is what you want, and requirements wont change in the future. Have you considered bla bla"

Boss: "Yes do it"

Dev: *writes, tests and deploys code*

A few weeks later:

Boss: "we need to add bla bla to the feature you built since some requirements has changed."

-= Me in the zone hacking out code during meeting with customer for an emergency change =-

-ready to deploy just need to....-

Me to myself:

"Oh ... oh shit ... I forgot who the customer is / who this is for / what time it is ... how do I ask these people on the call who the fuck they even are....?"

(｀_´)ゞ

Why is it that pretty much zero package & framework maintainers understand semantic versioning?

1. If you do a complete rewrite of your package, but the resulting API is identical, you don't need to bump to the next major version. As a user, I'm thankful for your increased performance or cleaner internal code, but it doesn't really affect my update process.

2. If your package required some-framework 6.0.0, and now ALSO supports some-framework 7.0.0 but is still compatible with 6.0.0, you don't need to bump to the next major version. As a user, I can now upgrade the framework, and know that the package will keep working, but otherwise it doesn't really affect me.

3. Following your versioning along with the framework/language version is super annoying, especially if your library really doesn't need to differentiate between framework versions because it's not actually utilizing new framework functionality.

4. On the other hand, if you stop supporting a certain language, framework or shared library version, or change the public methods, exceptions, fields, etc, you MUST bump to a new major version.

Yet everyone gets this wrong.

For example, many of Laravel's underlying subpackages (for collections, filesystem, database, config, http, mail, etc) do not change their code in a breaking way, or do not even change at all between major framework versions.

Yet they follow along with the major framework version.

Now if someone makes a library "laravel-elasticsearch" which uses the support libraries and collections from laravel, they need to update their package to move along with the versions as well, and often they choose to number their library along with the framework in turn.

This means that to update the framework, you also need to update over 9000 dependencies.

FOR NO FUCKING REASON. THE ONLY CHANGE IN THOSE FUCKING DEPENDENCIES IS TO UPDATE COMPOSER.JSON TO BE COMPATIBLE WITH THE FUCKING FRAMEWORK.

Meanwhile, Laravel itself breaks repeatedly on minor/patch version updates, because breaking changes slip through their review process.

Ugh.

Devs: We fixed a bug, so watch out for some changes.
Management: The new values are too bad, you need to change it back.
Devs: But ... it was a bug?
Management: Rollback ... now!

I swear, the moment shareholders are involved, management is just about who has the best lie.

Agh, holy shit. devRant, I need some love.

I have successfully double-buffered the Windows console (cmd.exe) but all hell breaks loose when you resize the fucking window. The currently active buffer will receive the change in dimensions while the inactive buffer will not, resulting in the window quickly oscillating between the two sizes as the buffers change size.

That got me stuck for about a day. Today, I got it sort of working but it wasn't satisfying at all. I can get it to resize LARGER, but if you resize the window SMALLER, the actual buffer inside the window doesn't change size, so scrollbars appear and I have NO IDEA HOW TO FIX THAT. I somehow need to calculate, or use the API to find, the perfect dimensions (In rows and columns) for the console buffer INSIDE the window buffer for them to not have scrollbars.

And I just - -

I cannot gather the energy to do so right now.

I spent hours finding the solution to this bullshit and ONLY SOLVED HALF MY PROBLEM.

And stack overflow isn't exactly helpful. My problem is so specific that nobody even writes comments on the question.

I guess I need to calculate the amount of characters the screen can hold given the font size and the window size, but fuck, that's a lot of work to do just for something that probably won't even work anyways.

Well, off to the code editor again. Time to inevitably waste my time doing something that won't work.

Yay, programming.

We have RGB shit in computers...
We have dev ducks...
We need programmable RGB dev ducks that can change their color with a scripting interface.

If you choose to make your duck's color correspond to the compiler warning and errors displayed this can be done. Also, maybe have it plays sounds too.

Boss: we have to fix this bug.
Me: It is not a bug ..the server takes more time to send the response which cause the timeout issue . we may need to change the implementation to increase the performance to send the response quickly. It will take some time
Boss: okay can we fix this by today
Me: ya if we increase timeout to 20 seconds the issue is fixed
Boss: No we want the server to send the response quickly and we need the fix now

I worked for the weekend to fix it finally......Guess what ....the change dint go live since the scenario was not valid and will never likely to happen in production

Can't change my desktop background. Looks like I need to reformat.

Do you ever feel like the world around you is falling apart and the more you try to grasp onto something, that piece brakes off as well? I need change...

Who decided it was a good idea to use this as a desktop PC's adapter?

Yeah lets change the kind of cable you need to power on our pc to one that apperently nobody sells. Profits guarenteed.

My Manager: Could you help "other manager" (OM) they need some very simple code changes.

Me: sure that will only take a few minutes *adds 15 lines of code tells OM one single line they have to modify*

Some other manager (SOM): Hey how does this work, I'm confused, do I need to do anything?

Me: Yes see the email chain you were copied on.

SOM: Actually let's have a meeting instead and all discuss this.

Goddammit this was a simple change to make your life easier now you are wasting everyones time by not reading the email

Having to do database schema changes manually is HELL. Management seems to not be taking seriously enough the need to stop and implement migrations, my boss/lead dev suggested me to look up how to adopt/implement them in my own free time, instead of stopping all the feature implementing to do this VERY IMPORTANT, CRUCIAL CHANGE. Now I am the retard who takes too much time to do simple changes in the database.

Maybe I am retarded after all.

On chat today.
Dude: can you run a script for me? We don't have permission.
Me: what kind of script? Who wrote it?
Dude: posts screenshot of DML select/update statement he tried to run.
Me: I'm a DBA. We don't run DML for people.
Dude: Oh. Can you give me the password?
Me: examine script and notice he tried to run it on QA DB.
Me: No. We don't memorize passwords, and this is QA; you need to check the password out of the safe. You also need a change ticket to DevOps, and they will run it for you.

At that point I ended the discussion, because running anything in QA or Prod without a change ticket gets you fired. And I like my job. Really annoyed.

Whenever we need something at the office, like someone to change a lightbulb or fix the printer or whatever.....

The techs literally come running lmao

These b the perks of the manager being absolutely gorgeous lmao. It really does help and I have never seen such effective motivational variable

Hey... to somebody reading this, most likely.

The problem, is that you put if($var = 'something')
You need ==, not =.
Php doesn't tell you that though. It'll just change the var to 'something'

That's why you're getting that really obscure, doesn't make any sense error.

You're welcome.

Wow VSCode has gotten a lot better for Web Dev. JSDocs actually works and can be used to find functions from other modules (aka real Intellisense).

This could change my feelings about JS... now just need to get everyone else on my team to document their shit... uhm... I mean code.

So.

After spending almost the whole day to get a project to usable state (VM/git setup etc.) I think that I´m finally getting done, and then it hits me.

I STILL NEED TO CHANGE MY IDE´S THEME TO DARK. PREFERABLY AS DARK AS MY SOUL TORMENTED BY THIS VERY PROJECT.

And I also need to copy my code templates from another project.

Damn, AWS really need to hire some decent UX people. Not sure what's with this latest change, but it feels like a massive step backwards.

Boss: "We need this change implemented tomorrow"

Me: "No problem, it's completed"

Boss: "Wait you didn't follow change protocol you need to allow 5 business days for review and approval"

Me: ....

Dear Microsoft, stop pushing me to update to Windows 11.
I still haven’t changed my mind and I won’t change it even if you ask me for the 6th time.
Just stop being an annoying bitch, please!

Also, one button is completely enough. You don’t need to make me click 3 or more buttons in different places just to remove your Win 11 messages which you keep slamming into my face.

Colleague: No the logic is stored in post_2.php but before you edit it make sure you make a post_2.bk.php just in case we need to revert the change.

Me: ....k

The ability to understand every codebase immediately to the point where I:
* don't need to rely on the documentation
* know exactly where bugs are
* know how a change (bug fix, new feature, etc.) affects other areas of the project recursively

Obviously because it's a waste of time hunting that occur when modifying a codebase, no matter how carefully one writes tests or tests their code, something could always sneak in because it's not always apparent how a change ripples through your codebase.

It's tiresome and especially annoying when working with core modules

Manager : I wish to upload an excel sheet from my browser, and based on *some conditions*, could you please highlight the cells with incorrect values.

Me: And then download the new edited sheet with highlighted cells, right?

Manager: No just change the file that I have on my desktop. So I can repeat whenever I need, with the same file.

Me: :/

A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.

Tech: What's the problem?

User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.

Tech: (keeps quiet for the moment)

Tech: You'll need a new power supply.

User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.

Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.

User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.

Tech support: 10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.

Tech support: (hush hush)

Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.

User: I knew it!

Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE <nosmoke> at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.

10 minutes later.

User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.

Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?

User: MS-DOS 6.22.

Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.

1 hour later.

User: I need a new power supply.

Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?

Tech: (hush hush)

User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of the power supply.

Tech: Then what did he say?

User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE.

Me: *Make a PR*

Seniors: *takes 5 days to review* This must be changed

Me: Okay. *Make changes and PR on same day*

Seniors: *takes another 7 days to review* Oh, you also need to change this

Me: really? Okay. *do the changes*

Seniors: Well, I'm gonna accept it. But maybe you should rework all the integration later.

Me: what.

I'm super tired of this shit.

Junior Dev me: ok boss, coding is basically done, just need to do some more system testing.
Senior Dev: fantastic let me take a look.
(3 hours later)
Senior Dev: ok so I've made some small changes and pushed, could you pull my edits.
me: sure
(pulls changes)
(EVERYTHING Is changed)
(try to compile)
(doesn't compile)
Me: sorry, it doesn't seem to compile for me
Senior Dev: I never tried to actually build it, it's only a small change
me:

Quick backstory. I've negotiated with our customers to drop IE11 support (happiest day of my life) and decided to also refactor and update our webpack configuration. I asked a bunch of questions about a few exclusions we had for JS processing and received a reply of: I don't know if we need these anymore. Queue a snippet of my response in a meme format on how I wish to proceed with the change done by our tech lead.

Customer: I need a one page website, which must have an administration panel , so I can change and add new sections. I will also have designed a unique logo and a unique web design. I think you can do it in 5-10 hours , so I'll give you $ 50 and $ 100

Me: ehmmm... I need more time if it is to be unique , and one hour cost of $ 5- $ 10 is not enough.

Customer: fuck it. I do it my self. it can not be that hard , and I think it's too expensive.

Me:

everything was fine until boss change,
now it’s time to decide if I need job change

Professors today in colleges don't know...
.
1. the proper denominations of outputs of basic shell commands like "ls -l", "cat", "cal" (pronounces linux as laynux)
.
2. how memory management works
.
3. how process scheduling actually takes place and not in the outdated bookish way.
.
4. how to compile a package from scratch and including digital signatures
.
5. cannot read a man page properly, yet come to take OS labs.
.
6. how to mount a different hardware
.
7. how to check kernel build rules, forget about compiling a custom kernel.
.
.
.
n. ....

Yet we are expecting the engineers who are churned out of colleges to be NEXT GEN ?!
It is not entirely because of syllabus, its also because of professors who had not updated their knowledge since they got a job. Therefore they cannot impart proper basics on students.
If you want things to change, train students directly in the industry with versions of these professors UPDATED.

Nice! I wanted to add avatar to my npm profile.

Looks like I can only change my npm avatar using Gravatar.

Great! Let me see what Gravatar is about.

Hmm...To open a Gravatar account, I need to create a WordPress account.

....

I will just keep my shitty pixel avatar in npm. Thanks

Server admin: "When do I need to make this config change for you?"

Me (in my head): "You mean the one I put a note in the change request ticket about in ALL CAPS and surrounded by asterisks saying 3pm (aside from the scheduled time field that the ticket requires), and the one we then subsequently chatted about where I reiterated the criticality of the timing about and the one I copied you in the email chain about that said the time in big, bold letters the time? THAT config change?!"

Me (IRL): "3pm, please."

(does not inspire confidence, though better to be asked then they just go off and do it whenever the mood strikes I suppose, which HAS happened)

I can't figure out how to get in contact with Firefox to figure out why every time i log into a website i need for work on Nightly, it states that my username or password aren't on record, and i have to change my password (even when switching browsers). Only started after their last update today, and now that I'm testing other sites, it's multiple sites, but not all.

Ideas? help?

For those who have seen me ranting about ending up in a bad team.....

Few days back I was emotionally and mentally affected to a level I couldn't handle anymore. I spoke to my manager (our team got a new manager who is sensible and serious) and asked for team change and he said it was possible but he would need some time. 🙂

Do less development and more living. I’m tired of all of it. I need a career track change. I don’t know how anyone can keep up with all of it.

Email (not a ticket) comes in this morning: "You need to make X change to y thing, yesterday!!" with of course the obligatory million + 1 Cc's including unrelated directors across multiple sites.

Me as my helpful self: I expected this request, I'll get it sorted asap

Director 1: *calls*
Me: I'm working on it

Manager: *calls*
Me: I'm working on it

Submitter: *calls*
Me: ignore

Director 2: *calls*
Me: I'm working on it

..............

As a bonus rant, after implementing the change, manager calls and criticises my technical explanation to the submitter who I know is fully capable of understanding the way it was explained 😂

Happy Thursday!

The newest version of MacOS has a new feature: dark mode.

Um, do you really need to update the entire OS to change the color of the UI? Why is that news?

There was a project discussed and the agreed deadline was 4 months. And the next morning we got an email that we need to deliver that in a week with absolutely no change in requirements.

First time going to college was my first time commiting for real becoming a dev. But with my close minded brain. I believe i only want to became a backend. So here is my story of me getting mad to monitor.

First year i got 24" Monitor. "Shit this is so unproductive, a need a new workspace to place my debugger".

Got another 24" Monitor. "ahh better" -- later on got a Web Developing Class. "Fuck i need moar workspace, i need to see a live reload and a debugger !"

Got a 27" Monitor. "FUCK, there is no way to plug this monitor"

Got No-Brainer-Fast-Bought 1060 3GB. "Finally !". Hmm "this one bigger monitor seems odd, i need to change this to become even"

Got another 2x27" Instead of 1x24" To replace 27". "Why the hell am i wasting money?".

...
...

...Maybe gamble poker when working is nice...

...
...

Got another 27".

My manager has explained in detail to me how to fix the problem I'm having. I know how to fix the problem. I just don't have permission on our servers to change the settings I need to.

Guess who does?

I do not usually shit on operating systems or participate on hate discussions about tech and what not.

But boy, Windows 11 does fucking suck and it is giving me Vista vibes regarding how much I fucking hate it. And no, unfortunately I cannot change this PC to Linux (as I have before with other work computers) since I need Windows for it.

Error: ID 2 is out of range (0..64)

How???

Did maths change while I was asleep?

Do I need an update?

There are comments in prod code which say "need to change after POC" or something similar in multiple places.

Also, something that was designed to check something, but the call is made in such a way that it always returns true.

Best part, all the original authors left the company before I joined this team.

Manager: this feature is not working correctly
Me: yes it is
Manager: no it isn't, change it to do X
Me: but X doesn't account for half of the logic
Manager: I don't care just get it done

(1 day later)

Manager: hey, the changes you made aren't accounting for some of the logic we need. Change it back immediately!
Me: ...

we had a front-end dev that needs to "re-architecure" his codes when we need to add a small change or a feature.
and im like: wtf is wrong with your code and you need to re-architect it every damn time?!

PS: that dev is no longer with us now. thank god.

Undoubtedly the most common mistake that devs do : Ignoring your personal health, be it mental or physical.

I almost went through a burnout before realising things need to change.

Changed my lifestyle upside down after that
- Switched from wfh to an office job
- I cycle 12kms a day now
- Got a standing desk for myself to be more active
- and have a journal where i literally dump everything off my brain

Why won't you just approve my PR???

Whats wrong with you?!

I don't understand your cryptic one-sentence feedback. I'm not even sure you understand what you're asking yourself.

What the hell does "make it a transaction" mean? Don't give me pseudo-code examples that don't even work fucking asshole!

Its a small change that does NOT need a canary build dammit. Don't go testing the ORM, its a goddamn standard library. Why does working with you make everything so complicated?!?!

The code fucking works! There is no need to make it comply to your specific tastes goddamn it. Working with you is like pulling teeth!

/endrant

Is it normal that IT support of a multinational bigass corporate drops the "we may need to change your PC because maybe your network card is defective" after explaining over and over that you have problems with HTTPS only when using the corporate network (whether onsite or via VPN) and not in external connections?

Joy is when you learn that long press on microphone button on your earphone changes the track..
No more need to Everytime unlock the phone to change the track..

me: i dont wanna get out of bed to check the code, i feel so comfy and lazy

me: *after 10 mins* dammit, need to change this, need to change that, its still fucked up, why is this wrong *codes more*

Had to change password on computer for administrative reasons (sysadmins and infosec make us change our pass every quarter). Changes didn't sync to everything so now I can't even log into my computer.
Need to go to the office tomorrow so some guy can type in an admin password on my pc and do stuff to it. If that doesn't work I will just be given a new laptop.

Seriously fuck this week

When you need to change a variable's value, but can't find the variable name since you're spelling it right.

Working with a new team and I don't understand how this is normal or ok.

Me: Does anyone need help troubleshooting the broken build or can I revert this change that broke it so I can push my change out?

Dev: Stop build shaming me, I wouldn't leave the build in a failing state.

Me: Well, I wasn't sure how long to wait, before asking.... it's been broken for 4 hours.

Dev: It's the development environment, you should expect development to be going on.

Me: Yes and appears that this project architecture doesn't support any sort of isolation for development. So nobody can deploy anything except through the development branch.

Dev: That's what development is for IMO, so it doesn't bother me.

Client: "We need a quote for a website build."
Me: "OK. What kind of website?"
Client: "We are working on a brief now, but we need a cost ASAP."

Me: "Alright. It should cost between $X and $Y. Dependent on the brief."
Client: "We can't go back with a range. We need a set price."
Me: "Well, give me a solid Functional Specification, and I'll give you a price based on that."

Client gave me a Func Spec. I gave them a price. Then they gave me change after change after change...

But they refused to pay more than the initial fixed price. By the end of it, I would have been better off working at McDonalds.

Guess what guys, I'm installing Ubuntu over Arch, because I need change and I just don't give a shit about distro elitism. Like many others, I got my start on Ubuntu (was probably Hardy Heron), and then I have done some hoppin' ever since. I never wanted to go back to plain Ubuntu because you know.., but fuck that, its perfect for what I need on my shitty laptop which I do nothing more than watch shitty livestreams on.

I also need something which looks vaguely caught up to 2019 GUI standards while expending max 13 kcal in the process (already spent a fair share with KDE). The 13 is for deleting the Amazon shortcut.

If your “solution” fixes the test case which is failing, it does NOT guarantee that it is the correct fix. You don’t just blindly change whatever piece of code you like to make just the test case pass. You actually also need to analyse the code and ensure that the rest of the intended functionality is still intact.

I am working as a junior in a company that pays me minimum wage and doesn't give a single fuck about my existence.
"Change the job", you say?
Well, that's what I am trying to do for, like, 3rd month now. No one wants to invest into junior...

Every day I go to work with thoughts about quitting, but I need a job... Even if it's like this...

fml.
F
M
L

Me: here is my idea with the code. Does it follow what you had in mind?
Dev lead : this is good...really good but if you could take everything you have here and make it a reusable module that would be great!
Me: so it is or isn't what you had in mind?
Dev lead :: it is but I need you to change it all.
Me....FML

1. Nothing lasts forever and you always need to be prepared for change.

That might be technology acquired by other company and dropped completely by all of people or new technology take over the market for a year and is gone after that and no one remember about it.

2. If you go opposite way then all of people around you that might be actually the best way.

That learned me to always look around for new stuff cause this small stuff that people make today can be big company next day just cause they got annoyed by things and start something new.

3. Trust nothing that you see.

Bugs are everywhere

4. Quality and speed doesn’t matter when you start doing something but consistency matters a lot.

When you start doing something you suck and you need to be ok with fact that you’re going to make lots of stupid mistakes and learn from them.
When you start new prototype you don’t need dozen tools to finish it, you don’t need performance or perfection, you need consistency to finish it.

Good luck

when u are new to devrant and want to change ur avatar, they say ,u need 10++, so mi do it.. as said..and best ranters like your post.. Happy time, thanks all..

I don't want to do web development for much longer....as in, i wanna stop fucking around with php, java, python, chashtag and whatnot and focus more on systems development. I would not mind writting servers and playing with the web as long as I don't have to see a line of html or css any longer.

Why does Windows have to be so fucking useless when running docker. Everytime i need to make a change to the NGINX container, I have to restart the docker daemon, rather than rebuild and restart the container.

I would be doing this on Ubuntu, if I could install it that is.

Meetings would be better without people.

I mean I like the IDEA of meetings...

Honestly I'm the type of person who if I could would schedule lots of meetings to make sure we're all on the same page, and to be sure the thing is going to do the thing everyone wants / get their perspective, etc. I really want to KNOW what the folks who are going to use this thing need / want / what works best for them.

On the other hand I know that meetings are often more like:

Me: "Ok let's so here's our data, now tell me what fields they want to edit and so forth."

People: "All of them."

Me: "Uh, no you don't want that or they'll break everything ... X, Y and Z require those fields for A, B, and C to work."

Me: "Let's go field by field and you tell me if they need to edit it, and why."

People: "Yeah this first one they have to be able to change this one."

Me: "Wait no, that's the primary key for that table, I don't know why that's on this list but no you can't change that."

People: "Yeah we have to be able to change that."

Me: "No, you can't, do you even know what that number IS?"

People: "Um... no ..."

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Posted a question on Stack Overflow today for the first time in as long time... Have lost faith, what shit some suggestions people have.

- Clear the cache, check again...🤨
- Your code is wrong, I tested it my way, you need to change.😒

Read the fucking post properly and gauge some level of expertise... I clearly wrote that it WAS working, the bull shit your detailing is completely irrelevant.

Fucking idiots...

I'm looking at someone's shit code... and I have to remind myself... we all have the ability to be fucking stupid, especially when we're trying to do something in order to do something else so that we can do something else.

note to self: "always remember, they did the best they could with the resources they had at the time".

But that doesn't change the fact that I need to clean up the crap they left behind.

Oh where to start.
TLDR, *actually* prepare students for the *real world*.

- TEACH GIT.
- Stop with the useless projects with esoteric restrictions that absolutely do not exist in the software work field
- ENCOURAGE collaboration rather than make it academic dishonesty with high punishment consequences. Devs need to learn Teamwork!!
- Don't start 101 with Python then go straight to C++ in 102
....
good lord, the easier question is what DOESN'T need to change in CS undergrad programs.

Gamemaker studio 2's 2019 roadmap just got released.. Still no Linux IDE (FFS) but it only took them how many years to realise that not every developer is a malicious cunt and give us the ability to disable to sandbox file system?!

I swear they add and change stuff that is so trivial instead of focusing on the engines major problems and absent features, eg. Can't use SVG graphics, the need to be exported in flash (SWF) because you know, makes sense?

So just saw an email from our team's vice manager about need to improve code quality by using some new system.

Well that set me off on a huge rant about all the issues I see in my team and what exactly needs to change... (just some new sytem he's pushing isnt going to help)

wonder if i might get fired... even though i m right...

And so much for my plan to update docs... I've forgot what I wanted to do...

we need you to implement some front end components but design department is not following their own standards, and changing the fucking mockup, so now you have to change your shit again

like fuck, how hard can it fucking be to hand me the locked in design and ill make it, i dont wanna have to muck this shit up and fight css again

Hey boss. I’m not a mind reader. If you need me to change what I’m doing or how I’m doing it, you have to tell me. You changed my job three times since I was hired and our processes twice. Now would be a good time to pick a play and stick with it.

Waiting to find out results of interview. Dying. I need a change so bad.

Can't stop thinking about questions I wish I would've answered better but I have skin crawling anxiety during interviews and I haven't had one in a loooong time 😭😫 fucking fuck shit fuck universe help me out.

On today's episode of Corporate BS

I must please go update logstash on this server. Okay, so I literally just need to ssh in and run "yum update logstash"

No, I need to apply for temp root access and depending who picks up that ticket, I may have to log a change request

Need urgent change for the site, it takes 5 minutes I guess, no more than an hour anyway.

Can you do it during your break? Thank you

I just saw this:

"I'm working with Java and I need to know why I have to change to Javascript"

Unpopular opinion:

Version control is shit, just rewrite it every time you change something and need to roll back.

Convince me otherwise!

I need to convert lots and lots of lengthy hard-coded entities into backend objects, as I'm tired of pushing new commits every time something superficial needs to change.

Also, I need to figure out continuous integration. The guy who was going to help with that just left the company, and I was using his eventual forthcoming help as an excuse not to take responsibility for learning about it myself.

I need to learn golang and start converting some code to it, to see if the performance compares to the perl that's currently in place. Perl is brilliant, but aside from me, only old people know it, at my office. That definitely creates a longterm supportability issue.

Let me tell all of you who don't like big frameworks..
The nice thing about them is that they minimize the amount of SHIT CODE all of you who think you know how to code, but actually don't, write..
And minimizes the amount of headache for the devs who need to then maintain/fix/change your SHIT CODE.

yes...lets put routes 10 dirs deep into the project and let ppl look for it..

senior: we have no reason to change/mutate this property, we don't need a setter method, just set it once in the constructor

also senior: there's no reason to change/mutate this value, but i want you to write a setter method for it

Guys need your opinion. How bad of a thing is it if I change my job in just a year. Stuck in a toxic team. I’m a Class of 2020 undergrad, joined my current firm for the’brand’ but my experience and expectations have been polar opposites. I’m not able to put myself 100% behind to look for other jobs as I keep worrying that switching this early would hurt my profile long term.

Just wanted to hear what yall think.

Why the f*ck do you want custom cursor on the site? It's annoying when suddenly your cursor changes from default. If that's not enough they are increasing size by 2-3 times. I understand if it's a gaming site or web game but why do you want to put this crap on a business site? No need to change the cursor for branding. That's stupid.

how many times does this tester need to be told they can't change a primary key

I was pretty upset at my loved one today. She asks me how to save a file into a PDF, so I explained how to print to PDF from chrome, pretty simple, good so far. Then...
-"Hey, the file has an 'e' for internet, will they need internet to open the file?"
-No, why would they?
-The file has an 'e'
-Did you name it 'e'?
-No, but it has an 'e' like internet
-... You mean the icon?
-Yes
-Right click, click on properties and change the default program to Adobe...
-Oh God, it's so complicated, I'll ask someone else to do it
-What? It's literally 2 clicks!
-Why does it need internet?
-It doesn't! It's just the default
-The what?
-Cheez! Doesnt matter, just go to properties and click on 'Change'
-Fine! Done now what?... Ooh...
-Now click on Adobe Acrobat
-Awesome! Thanks! Now it's fixed, I'm so glad because I'm about to send it on an email and I'm sure my boss would have thrown a fit if they weren't able to open it offline
-😒

Optimization issue pops out with one of our queries.
> Team leader: You need to do this and that, it's a thing you know NOTHING about but don't worry, the DBA already performed all the preliminary analysis, it's tested and it should work. Just change these 2 lines of code and we're good to go
> ffwd 2 days, ticket gets sent back, it's not working
> Team leader: YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TEST IT YOUR CHANGE IS NOT WORKING
> IHateForALiving: try it on our production machine and you'll see the exact same error, it's been there for years
> Team leader: BUT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TEST IT

Just so we're clear, when I perform a change in the code, I test the changes I made. I don't know in which universe I should be held accountable for tards breaking features 10 years ago, but you can't seriously expect me to test the whole fucking software from scratch every time I add an index to the db.

Don't like the way how to do something? Witte software for it! You need something automated? Develop the autonation algorithms! Don't like how an open source application works? Change it! Don't like how the closed source application works? Fucking reverse engineer and patch it!

Being a developer opens incredibly man doors in the world of information technology, that technology that drives our world, society and so, so many parts of everyone's life. So why on earth wouldn't you want to be a developer?

In a mediocre job since last 4 years with just a developer designation, but we simply use Java based tools and products to do most of our job. Need to study for a change in job.

Literally every morning:
"Let me see what to focus on: JavaScript/Java/C++/Python/Data science/ML/AI/NodeJS/...." The list goes on.

Every Evening:
"I need to focus on Data Structures and Algorithms. So let me stick to Java for now."

Next Day:
Back to the same routine.

2 months have passed and I have not seriously studied or concentrated on anything :(

Depressed.

Gmail filtering sucks but i just realized something.... i have an app for this... i just need to copy an existing project and change the code!

Mentors dont understand the power they have...

My mentors boss (non technical) will ask me to do something that either makes no sense or technically impossible. Without a mentor whos willing to say "that makes no sense to ask" or just "he will need an extra week to do it" can change an internship from a horrible nightmare to a great experience

Our parents keep reminding us about the time change that happens every half a year. To remember that the clocks need to be adjusted. And we, the children, keep reminding them, that most devices are already connected to the internet and use the time servers for reference. Which surprises our parents every time. 🙃

-4 Domain Administrators in my organization-

Me, a Doman Administrator: "Boy, I sure hope the FDIC IT Audit goes well!"

Braindead FDIC Examiner: "So let me get this straight, you use your administrator account to do things on a day-to-day basis?"

Me: "Uhh, I'm an admin so yeah, my account has admin privileges."

Examiner: *gives disapproving glare* "And your personal account has administrative rights?"

Me: "...I'm an admin... So I thought that'd be fairly obvious."

Examiner: "I'm sorry, but that is unacceptable. How can we tell which admin made what change when?"

Me: *dumbfounded* "...I'm sorry, what?"

Examiner: "You're going to need separate accounts, 1 normal user account and 1 admin account per domain admin."

Me: "You do realize that everything I do while I'm working requires elevation of SOME kind, don't you?"

Examiner: "I'm sorry, but you need to make this change. Thank you."

Me: *stares at the short pile of braindead shit as he walks away*

Developers in need 2016 appeal.

With just one recommendation of an IDE with syntax highlighting, you can change the life of a needy developer.

Together we can bring an end to semicolon hunting.

Let's stop the madness now.

Anyone else dealing with constant back pain? (Sometimes wrist pain??!) I try to sit in a proper posture but after coding for about an hour,fucking back pain always comes back. And I've been only coding for almost 3 years and am in my early 20. Need to change my habit else this shit will get worse.

Yesterday at my career progression chat my manager told me that to showcase more seniority I would need to "stop moving the needle by myself and become a multiplier".

So in order to progress I need to change from being a sewing machine to a mathematical operator??!!?!?
Thanks, that's very fucking helpful.

So easy to make typographic attacks on image recognition models.

Depending on your implementation, you may need to change your entire model.
FML.

Trying to find that one line of php you need to change in a magento project

App/design/frontend/base/default/template/this/is/not/gonna/be/the/template/youre/looking/for/fuckyou.phtml

python devs are not devs

why do you need numpy and 30 other packages to change some lights on a keyboard

and then the kicker is that it doesn't even work, because it can't find a daemon I guess

this is so fragile
so ridiculous
every time, these math people

That time when the IT guy for your client company email you asking if we need to change code of their web based system cause they got new printer.

He forwarded the question from users like he didn't know the users needed to select a new printer or change their default printer.

God knows what he's doing there!!

My journey into learning Docker, chapter {chapter++}:

Today I learned that when you use a database image in your docker-compose file, and you want to rebuild the whole thing for reasons (say, a big update), then if you change your credentials ("root" to "a_lambda_user" or change the db's password) for more security, and you rebuild and up the whole thing... It won't work. You'll get "access denied".

Because the database (at least mysql and mariadb) will persist somewhere, so you need to run "docker rm -v" even though you didn't use any volumes.

I love loosing my fucking time.

From our CTO:
"As cheesy as it may sound, if you want things to change, you need to be the change"

I was able to build a team based on that, now our team is looked at as the "cool team" in the company.

Hi ranters. We need to talk.

I've been thinking, I'm lately getting tired of code everywhere. Suppose one is a software engineer / senior developer. What is one's career path from this point on?

Tech lead? Architect? And then what? Is that all? A dead end?

Management would be also a possibility I guess. But is that a horizontal career change or are there any spots in vertical plane?

How much arguments you need to change your opinion?

Once I was lead developer, new guy came and he was impossible in his quest to be right. We would argue for three hours, while time passed away. Every day arguments over slack...

People need to stop trying to be funny when writing change logs. Just stick to the facts.

Ever since I downloaded Intellij, which was 10 years ago, I have tried to move into more hype oriented editors ... Atom, sublime, vs-code... But nothing beat intellijs sense of fullfilment! Its like you are in a sand box that offers everything you need to do anything you want! Need plugins ? Right there! Terminals? Right there! Git ? Right there!! Distraction free mode/zen mode? There! Spice up your editor with a background image? There!!!

I think for those who take the hype of editors need to check their goals/aims. I have learned that whenever i tried to change the environment i work in, the reason was always unsatisfactory projects, or boring projects!
Your coding environment (no matter what it is) is your sanctum sanctorum. Change one bit of it and your whole world is disrupted.
And thats a piece of advice for those who use Vim to notepad to intellij to whatever is more advanced then intellij!

Also includes a picture of my setup!

Rant #1
I’ve got a new client wanting me to take over their website, okay... I’ll take care of you.

What’s the hold up?
1. Anon, Get ahold of this person, they’ve got the info you’ll need.
2. We will get together sometime to go over paperwork.
3. We are waiting on the board to sign off on a contract switch.
4. I’m needing this changed immediately on the site or we will be fined, but I understand you don’t have the information to make that change - can you get ahold of X to get the information?
5. *gets ahold of X* - still waiting on Y to approve contract release and change.

Listen, I have my faults too on running my own business but at least I know what I can and can’t do when either accepting or turning away a client. I’d be happy to work on your website, but you’ve got to get approval from those on your team before you make a change, that’s not on me. It’s cool that you need whatever changed on your site before the end of the week, but I can’t help you until I’m officially signed on. Please don’t request content change when I don’t have access to the content to change it.

Go get approval by your team first before you call me about making changes to your site, we haven’t even exchanged any information or paperwork yet.

Rant #2
If you call me again knowing that I’m on a two month leave from work, I’ll slit your throat and fuck the wound. It’s 1:40. There are other techs, you’ve got the on-call list in front of you. I’m flattered you went through the trouble of finding my PERSONAL NUMBER, but I have rants to write damn it.

After CSS Grid and Flexbox, I don't see the need for frameworks (except for utilities like margin and padding).

Change my mind 🙂

Booted up IntelliJ to find the 2018.2 update just dropped. Took me a moment to get used to the design changes they've made, especially overhauling most of the icons.

Only thing I don't like in this change is taking away the color icons from my tool windows, there was a plugin to fix it though thankfully. I need some color in my workflow!

How's the update treating other jetbrains users?

21 hours before the big release:

"Oh, hey, we just got 'round to taking a look at the new version and we've got a whole list of stuff we need to change."

Need to change host for my sites, but no money for a good one. Trying to put everything in one cloud (5 USD) but... How the duck can I create a mail server with multiple domains?

A good fight with postfix, dovecot... The first account, just to the sake of make it work, is almost working (I reckon)

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?

Like seriously, I don't want to see this shit. I HADN'T TOLD YOU TO SHOW ME THIS SHIT YET YOU STILL FORCE ME TO. I never set the keyboard to Danish. And in fact, IT'S NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. Then why for he love of god do you think I need to have the option to change my keyboard to Danish when I have insisted on not having this option. Is it because my locale is set to Danish? Is that it? I'll gladly change my locale then ffs, but THIS SHOULDN'T HAPPEN.

My Windows display language is English, when I installed this shit I even set the keyboard to English US, I even disabled the change keyboard shortcut because I knew that for some reason Windows would find a way to add a Danish layout. SOMEHOW.

I've been feeling very bad because I don't think I've been making good use of my free time. So I decided to change.

Looked at my goals, first in line, getting a driver license.
For that, I need to arrange times for practice with my dad.
For that, I need a clean timetable. I had one but teachers are lame and don't respect the times of course.
So, I need to print the new one I already had done.

So I went to the printer.
And it prints awful, everything is pink because it doesn't print yellow.
Fine, let's change the cartridge.
Printer refuses to work, it throws a stuck paper error.
My dad tries to fix it putting fingers inside. Nothing.
We suspect it's the new cartridge, change the new cartridge chip with the one the old one had. Printer fooled.
It still doesn't work. Stuck paper.
My dad admits he felt he broke something when he reached inside the printer..
We had to disassemble it and fix the broken part.
Now it works again.
It still doesn't print yellow.
We'll have get it fixed or get a new one.

I guess I have to draw my timetable by hand...
Sucks, I made it using html and flex. Every 1fr was 5'.
I'll make a gist if anyone is curious about it.

A coworker wants to save telphone numbers as Strings in a database I don't get why he doesn't want to use Ints. I think it is stupid because it uses more space and you need to change the type if you want to use it to call someone. He says it is better this way because you can put there "+" and "-" for better readability.

What i thought to be a cool company, turned out to be a shitshow.

Our "Team Lead" when assigning tasks keeps saying things like "it's only..." or "It's just..." or "You only need to change one line [there]..." And that's in regard to a terrible product with a pile of tech debt. So when you actually start to develop/fix things, you end up redoing third of the whole application.

How do you deal with this? How do you tell the "leader" that he should look into what we have in a code before making us all look bad for doing "just this one line change"?

Is it wrong to change my amazon dot name from Alexa to Darling 🤔

Need a new name for it, because them annoying radio dj's keep say her name 🤓

who's so stressed out right now? me.

why? i need to change the access token in my code because it was changed

why is that stressful? because there is no variable for it, it was hardcoded

who coded that? me.

when? when the whole dev team was drunk asf

fml

.. I.. need advice n help..
So, you see.. I want to change my life.. Where should I start?.

I work full time in the data protection field for healthcare whilst investing all my free time into coding as a career change.

I've discovered that despite people telling you how much you need to spend every hour you get free to learn to code, you also need to consider the people closest to you. I was ignoring my partner who I live with because I thought this was more important and that she should be able to see that. But what's the point in being in a relationship if you aren't making an effort with each other?

It's OK to slow down and invest time into the people you have in your life. Give yourself a break.

I recently went to an office to open up a demat account

Manager: so your login and password will be sent to you and then once you login you'll be prompted to change the password

Me: *that's a good idea except that you're sending me the password which could be intercepted* ok

Manager: you'll also be asked to set a security question...

Me: *good step*

Manager: ...which you'll need to answer every time you want to login

Me: *lol what? Maybe that's good but kinda seems unnecessary. Instead you guys could have added two factor authentication* cool

Manager: after every month you'll have to change your password

Me : *nice* that's good

Manager: so what you can do change the password to something and then change it back to what it was. Also to remember it keep it something on your number or some date

Me: what? But why? If you suggest users to change it back to what it was then what is the point of making them change the password in the first place?

Manager: it's so that you don't have to remember so many different passwords

Me: but you don't even need to remember passwords, you can just use softwares like Kaspersky key manager where you can generate a password and use it. Also it's a bad practice if you suggest people who come here to open an account with such methods.

Manager: nothing happens, I'm myself doing that since past several years.

Me: *what a fucking buffoon* no, sir. Trust me that way it gets much easier to get access to your system/account. Also you shouldn't keep your passwords written down like that (there were some password written down on their whiteboard)

Manager: ....ok...so yeah you need sign on these papers and you'll be done

Me:(looking at his face...) Umm..ok

I was told to build a logging app for one of the work streams on my project. The lead briefly brainstormed about the data fields they'd need to log and told me to go make it.

I am handing off the app and they ask me what they are supposed to put in each field.

Me: oh [team lead] just told me to put in these fields, but you guys are going to use it so why don't you tell me which fields you need and I can change it easily.

They refuse to tell me how to build the app they're going to use and will definitely complain about it not doing what they want later.

*typing an email*
*need to change something 2 lines above*
*press kk... fck*

Today ... Like other day i wake up. And go satisfy all the need of my client in the chat .. and remove what i made and unmade and made and unmade and made and change color and more at left and more at top add padding bottom and unmade and made and save and clear cache and unmade and clear cache and made and change color.

You see the shiti pattern now

😒😒😒😒😔😔😔😔😑

Manager: "We need to change it, but it's easy, right?

I'm migrating a site. I moved the host, I need to change DNS servers. It's protected with one time codes sent to an email I don't have access to. The guy who has the access disappeared without a word, it's been over two hours now. I CAN'T DO SHIT WITHOUT THOSE FUCKING DIGITS YOU FUCKER

My Ubuntu VM just work fine for consecutive 217 days without restarting.

Need to change some config
And... I forgot the application access key... Damnit!!!

Lucky, I kept the access key in the password manager. Whew.

"hey, you know that help site that our main app users rely on to know wtf is going on?"

"yeah...?"

"let's change the URL without pre-planning or advance warning for any relevant teams, and just tell them afterwards!"

"hell yeah, great idea!"

seems like information here is on a need to know basis, if you need to know then you definitely aren't getting it

My biggest dream is moving to Europe. Obviously a rich, westernized country.

I have Bipolar type I (the most severe one), ADHD & Autism combo. Initially, getting diagnosed with bipolar and getting treatment was LIFE-CHANGING. I cannot overstate this. We're talking body weight, relationships, job, position, salary, life insights, political orientation, personal projects and their success.
I live in a very small, relatively poor Eastern country now. I fled Russia for it. The medications I need aren't available here. More than that, some of them are illegal, so importing them is out of question.
Getting the meds I need will definitely change my entire life. It will change everything. I will also be able to start my gender transition without the risk of being beaten up on the street. The only thing I need is some kind of visa.

If comparisons make you feel better, and you live in a rich western country, just remember that there are people that will do anything to get to a similar position as you.

Rant to myself: Don't try to be too smart, you dipshit!

3 weeks ago I packed 2 small changes in one commit, because I was sure (and obviuosly lazy) that no one will ever need these special changes separate.

Guess what happened today? Right, I had to make a change on an old version and needed the one half of this commit.
Cherry-picking ended up in changes I don't need and furthermore some nice collisions.

Thank you very much, past me, for saving 2 minutes 3 weeks ago, which now wastes half an hour.

Client emails for a wordpress site:
12:46 - Can you change the header color to #xxxxxx?
12:47 - Also can you change the text on this page? ( not part of our contract)
12:49 - never mind, I've done it already.. I'll contact you if I need more help.

When client for past few days tells you how important that new feature he wants is, and you should get to it asap.
But then when you actually start working on it after discussing it, specification creation and preparations, with mind set and focused, he tells you:
- 'Know what? I will need that change in the old feature before that. You can postpone the new feature by one day.'

So... How was it the most important thing in the universe again?

Steam hone number support. I lost my phone and forgot my number, and to change the number on the steam account, you need the old number.

I have good knowledge frontend/backend web development but i didnt know php cause i heard so much shit about it. I finally made up my mind to learn it.

I fucking hate php

>>> MAMP doesnt fucking work when i installed it
>>> After it finally works, I change the sql password. WHY THE FUCK DO I NEED TO GO TO LIKE 10 FILES AND CHANGE THE GODDAMN PASSWORD IN EACH ONE.
>>> php doesnt work if the <?php tag isnt at the top -> this shit wasnt even mentioned
>>> why the fuck would you use '->' for everything when a simple '.' would suffice.
>>> useless class system (more like a pseudo class system)
>>> foreach ($list as $item) dafuq that is not even correct english, what is wrong in "foreach ($item in $list)"

i hate php

==============
Getting Feedback Rant!
=============

When "this is simpler" feedback results in a function of 500 lines of code.

When I get "don't do X" in the feedback. Thank you very much. What do you want me to do instead?

Unclear feedback.

When the feedback giver changes his mind after I applied the changes!

When applying the feedback introduces a bug.

Simply opinionated feedback that is not enforced by any tool or backed up by any facts.
Please find something better to do in life.

Unactionable feedback.

"Consider X"
I will not consider thank you very much.

"Verify this works"
Duh..

When the feedback giver knows something that you don't.
I know this is a legit case.. still annoying.

"I disagree with the feature"
Go argue with the PM, not relevant to me, thanks!

=====================
GIVING FEEDBACK RANT
=====================

I rewrote the system. Please review it.

No need to review, just approve.

I will change this as part of the next ticket.

I would like to keep it the way it is.
lazy ass..

You can't test this.
It's impossible to test this.

No need to test this.

There's no point to test this.

I'll test this on production.

Not sure why this is working..

Please document this..
Because documentation is like a thing, you know.

Oh, this code is not related to this PR, I just don't want to open a new branch for such a small change. ignore it.

Ignore this.

This will be meaningful in my next change.