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Bf: what you doing?
Me: coding
Bf: do you ever stop working?!
Me: I'm not 'working', I'm doing my own project.
Bf: but you do that at work. Why do you want to keep doing it?
Me: it's fun?
--- a few days later ---
Bf: what you doing?
Me: reading.
Bf: omg you're not coding! What are you reading?
Me: a book about coding
Bf: *faceplam*15 -
When you are a Dev but you don't want to be single
Girl: what's your profession?
Me: I am a writer
Girl: Cool! What do you write?
Me: I write code😎18 -
Me: Alright, let's code!
School: Psst. Hey.
Me: What?
School: Remember that assignment from last week?
Me: Oh god please no.
School: Yeah, it's tomorrow. And you have a Geography exam next Monday. You love geography, right?
Me: Please, no, I want to become a programmer, not a--
School: Shush... It's okay. Programming can wait. You want a to get a job, right? What would they say when they see your poor Geography?
Me: That doesn't even... Okay, fine, I'll do it...
* two days later *
Me: Fuck me! Finally! Let's do some coding now.
School: Psst. Hey.16 -
Friend: How much do you charge for a website?
Me: Depends, what do you need?
Friend: Just a basic website.
Me: I am going to need more details than that, is it static HTML site? Do you want to be able to add content yourself? Do you have hosting? Do you....
Friend: Dude, just give me a rough estimate.
Me: But...
Friend: It's for a friend, he has an idea for a business.
Me: ...fine...$100 million 👿
//Because making a website is just a push of a button to some people21 -
Girl: Can you make me an app?
Me: What kind of app do you have in mind?
Girl: I want it to be... like an app!
Me: Sounds a bit to difficult sorry.10 -
Client: can you fix the slider on my homepage please?
Me: It seems to be working just fine
Client: it works but it’s not how I want it, fix it
Me: well what do you want me to change then?
Client: don’t change it, just fix it!
😒2 -
Mom : what do you want to be?
Child : engineering
Mom : why?
Child : because engineer never study.
🤥😅😂😂🤐6 -
At the mid of breakup I asked my girlfriend: "what do you want from me ? "
She replied "CHMOD 777" | 😭
Both of us broke into laughing
2 days later (today) we are together10 -
That awkward moment when you tell your gf you want a rubber duck for your birthday present but you mistyped it.
Gf: "Sweetie, what gift do you want for your birthday?"
Me: "a rubber dick would be fantastic! it'll help me debug things"
Gf: "Ok... if you say so..."8 -
Are you interested in a devRant hackathon? If so, please let me know what you'd like to see us do/what you would want to get out of it. There's lots of directions we could go, but I want to get as much feedback as we can from the community to try to figure out what would be the most fun and inclusive. Thanks!23
-
so I was at primary school and our homework was: "what do you want to do when you grow up". my dad took me around town for inspirations. that's when I saw that famous ad that led me to do IT.
1 -
My five-year-old daughter asked me to program her Android tablet today.
Daughter: Daddy, can you make my tablet do something?
Me: What do you want to make it do?
Daughter: I want it to get games for me. I want it to pick games I like and get the different games so I can play them after I get home from school.
My daughter asked me to implement:
1. At the least, a predictive algorithm to choose new games for her based on her likes and dislikes.
2. At the most, an adaptive artificial intelligence that will learn what games she likes to play.
Current specifications are unclear. Need revision.13 -
Notepad++: An update package is available, do you want to download it?
Me: Maybe next time
Notepad++: Sure, that's what they all say3 -
*Me and my workmates laughing and having fun before going home*
Me: Hey, do you want to hear a joke?
Workmate 1: What is it?
Me: Look at your code.
...
...
...
Other workmates: BURRRRRNNNN!!!!4 -
Well Google.. I have been shouting null at you but you don't seem to respond. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME??
2 -
Me: What do you want?
Client: We don't know exactly
Me: By when do you want it?
Client: Yesterday
🙊🙉🙈7 -
If you want to improve, be with people that are already better than you.
That's what I do, and so far so good.8 -
From today's PhD interview:
Prof: What can your teammates do that will really annoy you?
Me: Have loud, long, private phone calls in the open space. I don't want to listen to people divorcing.
Prof: And what would you do if your colleague did that?
Me: I'd walk to him....and tell him..."I understand why she is divorcing you!"14 -
Client: "I need you to implement a feature which does x"
Me: "We can it do like this, I can do it in Y hours."
Client: "Perfect do it"
Me: "Here you go have a look and if you give your ok I'll implement it on production."
Client:"That is not what I need. I need Z"
Me: "Well then you should have said Z and not x. But I can do Z if you want me to."
Client:"Do it it is urgent!!!!111"
Me: "All done here you go."
Client: "That works like what I said what I need, but I meant more like xZ."
Me: "Ok, you know I have to charge you for all this, do you?"
Client: "What why? It isn't the feature I wanted!!11 Do it right and I'll pay you for the right one!"
Me: "It might not be what you wanted but it is exactly what you specified to me. I'll send you the bill and will not continue working for you. Good luck finding someone who is willing to do unpaid work for you."
I am so done with that kind of client.8 -
When your system is just slow and you want to do a disk cleanup
Result: hidden storage uncovered 😂. Invisible storage space. 😂😂☁️🌦🌥🌧
(Zoom in to see what I mean 😂😂)
9 -
Slowbro: Do you have time tonight?
Me: No sorry, I can't stay late tonight, I have a thing with my wife.
S: Oh yeah, I'm not staying late either.
M: Oh, so what do you want?
S: Can you help me install linux?
M: Uh no, I can't stay late -
S: No, no you don't have to stay, you can do it from home.
M: What? No I don't have time tonight. Wait you want me to take your computer home?
S: No, no I need to use my computer tonight.
M: So... What do you want me to do?
S: You can do it on your computer.
M: You want me to install an OS on your computer, but on my computer??
S: No, no *sigh* just try it on your computer so we know it will work on my computer. It is a proof of principle.
M: Reinstall my OS?
S: As a proof of principle. So tomorrow when we do it on my computer, we need not waste any time.
M: ... No I'm not going to reinstall my OS just as a test for you.
S: Not a test, a proof of principle.
M: What are you.. I'm sorry, I don't have time for this tonight.
S: Just a proof of principle!!
M: Ok see you.11 -
Having an english conversation with a russian client.
"What do you want the info to be?"
"I want the name, adress and etc."
"Etc?"
"Yes! I attached you a picture with everything...as you can see..."
<the picture is a huge table in russian>
"But the table is in russian"
"Yes"3 -
The biggest problem with computers is that they do what you tell them to do.
Not what you want them to do.1 -
Dad: What are you doing with your life?
Me: Enjoying it. Can you say the same?
My dad degrades me for my programming because he's from 'that generation.' Fuck him, Imma do what I enjoy, cause I'm damn well sure I don't want to end up like him.13 -
Today's my birthday!
YAAYYYYYY
ME: Presents?
Parents: You didn't requested one.
ME: But you always bought me SOMETHING.....
Parents: What do you want?
ME: Dunno.........
(sobs)14 -
Okay so about a year ago these FUKKING IDIOTS decides, against my recommendation, to do this quick-ugly-hack and ninja it into production.
I tell them its a FUCKING BAD idea that will blow up in a year or so...
But no, just go go go!!!!!!!
Now a year later, shit blew up badly. A total FUCKING derail. These new idiots asks me to "fix the problem", the same fucking problem I predicted and warned them about a year ago. So now i have to clean up their ducking mess because "Nobody else knows how to fix it".
What the FUCKING HELL do we pay them fuckkkers to do?!!
New idiots you ask? Yep, because 3 out of the 4 original fucktards already left the place in order to go and make some other new collegues lives fucking miserable.
FUCK YOU FUCKING MOOTHERFUUUKKKEEERRRRRSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!2 -
*Me enjoying life*
Brain: You're wasting your potential. You should work more.
*Me on the job working*
Brain: You're wasting your youth. You should go out and enjoy life.
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT, BRAIN?
Brain: No productivity! Only Guilt!19 -
You want to write a minus? No, better turn off the computer. What did you do to us, asus...
Ps: note where did the num lock gone. You have to press fn+home to get numlock enabled. But better have awesome rog key instead of numlock so you can randomly open it's software.
14 -
What do you do when you buy a second hand netbook and want to play with it in your way home but the internet is veeery bad?
You play Tetris on the terminal! \o/17 -
Guidance counselor at school: so what field do you want to go into?
Me: computer science
GC: what does that entail?
Me: programming
GC: that's like super repetitive, right? You're a smart kid don't do that
In my head: no you mf dingle-dong. That's the job that will take your job away from you in the next 5 years
Ffs, why do people think coding and entering data into Excel are the same things?6 -
Dad: “Hey son.. I have this new software called blablablu.."
Me: "yeah?.."
Dad: "well it's not working.. there's an error and it's not doing what I want.."
Me: "okay.. I don't know.. sorry.. I don't know that software.. I can't help you.."
Dad: "you're studying computer science... you should know what to do.."
You ****ing serious?! -.-14 -
Customer logic - "We'd like a website but we don't know what we want...so can you do a whole thing so we can change 80% of it day after day until we are bored of it? Thanks"4
-
November 2022
*Wife*: What do you want for x-mas? A new phone maybe? Yours has lived through a lot already - perhaps it's time for an upgrade?
*I*: Naah, thanks. My trusty S7 still works incredibly well. I also have all those 2FAs set up there and stuff I'm too lazy to transfer over to a new device.
*Parents*: What do you want for–//–
*I*: Naah, thanks. My tr–//–
*in-laws*: What do you want for–//–
*I*: Naah, thanks. My tr–//–
*Siblings*: What do you want for–//–
*I*: Naah, thanks. My tr–//–
January 2023:
*My phone*:
5 -
Lets get to know eachother, shall we..?
It's come to my attention that all we do is either rant, or post memes! Lets talk! D;
What's your favorite programming language?
How about spoken/written language?
Favorite band?
Song?
Do you sit or stand while working?
What's the last four digits of your SSN? Haha, jk..
What are you passonate about?
What projects (programming or otherwise) have you started/picked up/finished lately?
What else do you want to share?
Answer as many as you'd like~97 -
Please do not send me fucking messages saying “hi how are you?“ and then wait for my response before asking me what you actually want.14
-
At 4pm, after 6 hours of work of migrating from mysql to mongodb...
I am drinking coffee with my team.
Boss, comes from somewhere and asks...
what do you all want? (What he meant was, go back to work you all)
One of my team member- (angry and agitated) says-- a comfortable sofa.
Holy fuck, i laughed my ass out.
Guess what happend next...22 -
Managers: fullStackClown!!!! The image uploader on the dashboard at <insert 3rd party service here> isn't working!!!!!
fullStackClown: Yeah? What do you want me to do about it?
Managers: Well, fix it!
fullStackClown: ... * sigh * Well, in case you didn't realize, I don't work at <insert 3rd party service here>, so... unless you want me to go work for them instead of you absolute clowns (which I dream about daily), I cannot help you further in this matter.
Managers: ...
fullStackClown: ...
Kill me. 🤡6 -
Friend: hey can you make me a website?
Me: sure, what is it for?
Friend: 'whatever the site is for'
Me: Ok, what are the different tabs you want for the navigation bar?
Friend: Ummm... Idk yet
Me: Ok... So do you have an idea what you want the website to look like?
Friend: Ummm just make it look pretty
Me:
2 -
Shitty call
Me: what do you want?
Q: I Lost my iphone
Me: (already pissed) ok,do you have an icloud account?
Q: Yes, but i forgot the password.
Me: what!?!, ok, fine, we will reset it, which is your ID?
Q: I lost it too.
*stay calm* *stay calm*
Me: I can't help you go to an apple store and ask there. *I Close the call*
*Add that number to blacklist*2 -
No Google translate, I don't want you to translate my Lorem Ipsum. You are misunderstanding what I'm trying to do here. Thanks anyway.2
-
Recruiter: You cought my attention because of your positive profile. And my client is looking for someone with your profile. Attachment: java_developer.pdf
Me: What exactly did you like about my profile? I can tell by the filename that the company is looking for java developers. Which is neither what I can do nor what I am willing to do.
Recruiter: This isn't clear by your profile, what do you want to do?
Me: Me profile has exactly two programming languages, JavaScript and Objective C.9 -
Part of an honest interview :
- What is your biggest weakness?
+ Triceps femoris muscles
- Why do you want this job?
+ Earning money to buy food so that I don't die of hunger.
- How do you handle pressure?
+ By shouting the word fuck
- What are your goals?
+ Have a cheek in bed every night.
- We will be in touch.
+ you never call, do you?
3 -
It's only day one of the year and I'm already pissed right off
Why the fuck do all clients expect you to come up with absolutely everything!?
All I ever get is we want a website. I ask well what do you want on it.. our products .. news? Contact maybe ... Urm our business information ... That kind of stuff.
Well what are they?
Pft.. I here is a name if our products. And other stuff
WE ARE SELLING IT WAT ARE THE PRICES AND INFORMATION DO YOU HAVE IMAGES
Yeah do you want them
Of course I do 😐
Great here's 2 of them we have 1100 so I'll get more to you soon.
😤 Thank you!
Holy shit it's always like talking to a fucking brick wall.. why do people have to make our jobs so hard it's already fucking tough
I have no time to plan your entire website by myself I don't know what you want on it. How could I possibly know that!? It's your fucking site10 -
Worst part of being a developer?
Everyone thinks you want to freelance a website for them...
Even when you're not a web developer
What do you do?
I write software.
Oh so you're good with computers and stuff?
Yeah
That's p sweet, can you build me a site?
No. 😃3 -
What the fuck is up with interviewers asking about my goddamn hobbies now? My hobby is slowly going blind while frustratedly talking to myself through an anthropomorphized rubber duck you fucking idiot, that's why I'm here in the first place. "Well we want a well rounded person". I'll give you a well-rounded asshole. It used to be, "well do you write code in your spare time too"? What the fuck do they want from us? Next time I'm answering this new "hobby" question as follows:
I DO COKE AND FUCK STRIPPERS! I'M THE ROCKSTAR DEVELOPER YOU'RE ALWAYS JERKING OFF TO, CAN YOU EVEN HANDLE THAT YOU ASTONISHING PUSSY?17 -
How intellij handles syntax errors while reformating code vs eclipse:
Intellij: I'm not sure what you want to do there, so I'll just make slight adjustments.
Eclipse: Yeah, I don't understand this so fuck your whole file. -
Client : I have a scraping project for you...
Me : Yeah tell me which site you want me to scrape and what data from it?
Client : I want you to scrape data from 500 sites
Me : 500 sites...are you serious?
Client : Yeah 500 sites...can you do the job?
Me : ok...for 500 sites...the charge will be $500...
Client : Are you out of your mind? $500 for just 500 sites...I can only give you $5019 -
Me: So, tell me more about what you want me to code.
Friend: Well... Do something nice.
Me: Like?
Friend: I don't know, I thought you're the expert...
Me: You motherf...1 -
The sad thing is no matter what we do we are all a variation of homer 😂🤣
Borrowed from https://medium.com/@cscalfani/...
1 -
Interviewer: Sell me this pen
He: Hey do you want to buy this pen ?
Interviewer: No
He: You might need it to write stuff
Interviewer: No, I don't need it.
He: Ok, no problem.. Bye
Interviewer: What are you trying to do?
He: Trying to be a part of a company that doesn't sell stuff to people they don't need or want ..
Interviewer:
He:
Interviewer: Please give my pen back..7 -
Snippet of an overheard conversation today:
"LOL maths beyond basic arithmetic is so dumb. No-one needs pythagoras, trig, calculus or any of that crap unless they have some unholy desire to find the geometric properties of their sandwich."
"What do you want to do when you leave school then?"
"Something to do with AI. That stuff is really cool."
🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️8 -
New client: can we go live next month?
Me: do you think you are our only client, or do you want to pay an extra priority fee?
New client: what?
Me: what?
*Crickets"4 -
Fucking Windows... If you don't have enough memory for everything youre supposed to do, then kill whatever you want, but not the fucking graphics driver.
What should I do then? Close something different? Fuckin Monkeys.2 -
Do you ever open devRant, read a little, and then exit the app to find something else to do. Then open the app immediately again, because that's what you do when you want something to do?5
-
You can't keep wasting your time on people who do not know what the fuck they want. You could be way more time efficient with serious clients.
*After I have finally deployed the requested features*
Client: Why did it take you two weeks in the end? You said it would take you a couple days.
Me: Because you told me to use my imagination on half of the tasks and you kept wanting me to change what I had created, thus unnecessarily doubling the time it should have taken. Besides that probably the unclear communication and the fact that you rarely called me back after you told me to call you.
Client: So if I tell you, exactly, how I want it next time you'll be able to do it in a couple days?
Me: I'm not sure, that depends on what you want. Tell me, exactly, what you want.
Client: Oh it's not much, I'll let you do your thing for the most.
Me: I can't handle another request, sorry. *Ends call*4 -
Me: "ok for the following changes you must pay the following charge because it's not in the scope"
Customer: "bUt tHiS Is Not whAt I wanT, wOnT pAY thE ResT iF yoU arE nOt DoiN It blablabla"
Marketing: "please do it for him"
Fuck me.1 -
oh you want a code challenge for the interview? sure let me do that just like the 5 other companies i've had to do that for
like dude, look at any one of my multiple websites, saas apps, or mobile apps i've shipped. obviously i know what i'm doing7 -
Mom: what is it you do exactly?
Me: I make web sites and test computers for bugs.
Mom: What is a bug?
Me: it is when a program does something you do not want it to do.
Mom: k, I don't understand how money is made in that. But, you know (random store) is hiring.2 -
What do you mean you no longer want the feature? We have developed the feature, we have tested the feature, we have sign off for the feature. You are getting this feature, whether you like it or not!
-
When you just want to reply to an email request with "What the FUCK am I supposed to do with this?"4
-
Customer: Do you have a 2GB RAM stick?
Me: Yes, we do. Do you know what you have and what you need?
Customer: Yes, I have a one-zero-two-four M-B stick and a two-zero-four-eight M-B stick.
Me: So... a 10-24 Meg stick and a 20-48 Meg stick
Customer: Yes.
Me: Ok.... and do you know if it's going to be DDR2 or...?
Customer: Yes, DDR2.
Me: Okay, yes, we do have some. And will you want us to install it?
Customer: No. I can install it. I've been putting computers together for 30 years, so I think I can do it.3 -
A new day, and a new "specification" written by the most unspecific architect ever. I don't understand what you want me to do. Use your words. Be SPECIFIC. As in SPECIFICation. Twat.2
-
Raising kids is like using Windows. You know what you want him to do, the kid knows what you want him to do,... But he still decides to do whatever HE wants.
The frustration level is the same11 -
Just find a kind of opensource license shorted as WTFPL, which means "Do What The Fuck You Want To Public License"😂😂😂5
-
What do you all think about my first ever brainfuck program?
________________________________________________
+++++++++++++[->++++++<]++++++++++[->>++++++++++<<]>>+<<+++++++++[->>>++++++++++
+++<<<]>>>+<<<++++++[->>>>+++++++++++++++++++<<<<]++++[->>>>>++++++++<<<<<]+++++
+[->>>>>>+++++++++++++++++<<<<<<]>>>>>>+<<<<<<+++++++++++[->>>>>>>++++++++++<<<<
<<<]>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<+++++++++++[->>>>>>>>++++++++++<<<<<<<<]++++++++[->>>>>>>>>++
++++++++++<<<<<<<<<]>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<+++++++[->>>>>>>>>>+++++++++++++++<<<<<<<
<<<]++++++++++[->>>>>>>>>>>++++++++++++<<<<<<<<<<<]>>>>>>>>>>>+<<<<<<<<<<<++++++
+++[->>>>>>>>>>>>+++++++++++++<<<<<<<<<<<<]+++++++++++[->>>>>>>>>>>>>++++++++++<
<<<<<<<<<<<<]>>>>>>>>>>>>>++<<<<<<<<<<<<<+++++++++++[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>++++++++++<<
<<<<<<<<<<<<]>>>>>>>>>>>>>>--<<<<<<<<<<<<<<++++++[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>++++++++++++++
+++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<++++++++++[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>++++++++++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<]+++++++++[->>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>+++++++++++++<<<<<<<<<<<
<<<<<<]>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>++<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<.>.>.<.>>.>.>.>.>..>.<<<<.>.>>>>.<<<<<
<<.<.>>>.>>>>>>.<<<<.>>>>>.<<<<<<<.>>>>>>>.>.<<<<<<<<.<<<<.>.>.<.>>.>.>.>.>..>.<
<<<.>>>>>>>>>.<<<<<<<<<<<<.>>>>>>>>>>>>>.<<<<<<<<<<.>>>>>>.<<<<.>>>>>.<<<<<<<.>>
>>>>>>>>>.<<<<<<<<<.>>>>>>>>>>.<<<<<<<<<.
________________________________________________
EDIT:
In case you want to run it, here's a link:
https://copy.sh/brainfuck/20 -
Trying to install .NET Framwork 3.5 and this message comes up *headdesk*
WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, MICROSOFT!?
7 -
Most days I want to answer the question of “What do you do for a living?” with “I send emails”. It would sadly be a very honest answer.2
-
Regardless of your education, your career will almost certainly start with a low-paying job that's not really what you want to do. You'll do that for a year or two, and move to a job that's a little closer to what you want. Until after 10-15 years, you'll be doing work that actually interests you.
Almost every career starts with a period of what American blues musicians call, "paying your dues."13 -
SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK IS SCRUM, WHY DO MANAGERS KEEP USING IT, WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO MICROMANAGE AND MEET ARBITRARY DEADLINES THAT ARE TANGENTIAL TO THE MAIN PROJECT???!!!?!12
-
So I was wondering, what is you guys' 'goal' in the long run? What do you really want to be able to do or what do you really want to achieve in 5 to 10 years? Are you working primarily for an income or are there more prominent reasons for doing what you do?
I'm in my last years of university and have a job at a software development company, not because I need the money but because of all the amazing technologies I come in touch with and the amazing things I learn, mostly about servers and devops tools.
I currently have 2 goals in mind: Creating an .io game together with a frontend developer and setting up a kubernetes cluster and using it. I personally consider kubernetes an end-game thing when it comes to running apps and am experimenting with it on three servers that I got from school.
So I was wondering, what ahout you? 😀27 -
God: you qualify for reincarnation. What advice from past life do you want me to retain in your memory ?
Me: never forget to write those unit tests!2 -
the more time I spend in this industry, the more I come to realize that it's a very blurry line between PROGRAMMING and CONFIGURING.
How much programming do you do these days, really? Isn't it just configuring your frameworks and libraries and engines to do what they do in the way you want?
Does it still make you programmers...?
And then what are these .conf files for your application? A declarative configuration for your... imperative configuration...?20 -
Dev: Writes "this feature will take some time..." (proceeds to list bullet points touching on the main modifications required)
Manager: Can you explain what you mean by "takes some time?"
Dev: ...
Manager: ...4 -
Me: man, I really want to work on my project but I don't know what to do
Brain: You should document your code, it doesn't have a single fucking comment, you stupid lazy fuck
Me: oh ok, I will do that ...1 -
What if I told you : you can use whatever the fuck OS you want, whatever the fuck stack you want ?
And IF you take a job in a certain stack, don't like it ? Quit your job !
Stop beeing whining bitches. Don't like current job ? Find a new one.
You think your app is revolutionary ? TRY and push it (And fail)
You think that at 16 you know better than people who are 30+yo ? prove it by actions.
It's easy. You have full control of what you can do.
Stop bitching, start coding.
windows, linux, mac, MS-DOS. Noone cares what you use. As long as you do the job.20 -
Fucking hate when business people says this to me:
- You have no time to do this, we will find somebody else to do it. (EXCUSE ME? how do you know I have no time? If have no time I WILL TELL YOU)
- Your team is too busy, we will outsource that (IF THAT it's a priority, we WILL DO THAT, fuck you, I'll tell you if we need to outsource or not)
- Requirements are too complex to do now. We will think about it and we will tell you, maybe it's just enough to add a column to db (WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS too complex? I didn't even see anything we can call requirement, nor speak with relevant people, so how do you fucking know they are complex if you don't know shit about dev and our platform)
Conclusion
It's true, I have no time, because I don't fucking understand what do you want, so I'm running all day and night doing useless things.2 -
Me: what we want our users to do is inherently complex. We can't make it "iPhone-intuitive", this thing needs instructions.
my boss: we have put people on the moon
me thinking: how intuitive do you think that rocket was4 -
A couple of days ago I needed a RS232 to USB adaptor.
Went to a store:
Me: Do yo have any RS232 to USB adaptor?
Him: Only to USB-C
Me: Ok... Now I just need a USB -> USB-C adaptor
Him: But what kind of TV do you want to connect?
Me: Wait. WHAT?
Him: Yea, you want a VGA to USB? Why do you need that?
Me: No, RS232, I don't need VGA...
Him: Ah... ok, no... we don't have any...
(Funny story... almost the same happened in 3 stores in a row....)
fml8 -
I mean i understand the whole "linux is do what you want" thing but shouldnt i get at least a warning before i can purge a package the whole system depends on?3
-
I have a server. I want to filter connections to that server so only people on my work network can access the server. A quick search yielded my public IP address.
"Is this static?" I asked IT. "Do we have static IP address?"
"What do you mean? What do you need that for? You better know EXACTLY what you are doing before we release that information to you!!!! This needs to go to my manager. My manager is demanding to know why you want that information - we are having Network Engineering look into this request, someone will be in touch to find out more."
I have now been waiting for 3 hours. I think I will just go ahead and assume my IP is not going to change...5 -
So i was talking to my client the other day and this is what happened....
Me: So what features do you want in the Progress Tracker in the app.
Client: (takes his IPAD out and opens the FitBit app) This is a really nice progress tracker.
Me: Alright so what features would you like in Progress Tracker, eg: would you maybe like them to check in everyday making sure that they have done exercise or something.
Client: *Shows me his goal in steps (which was 10,000 if anyone was wondering) and shows me other features of the app and not telling me what to do in his own one* These look nice.
Me: Alright so do you want a Step Tracker, Calories Tracker etc.
Client: Nooooo, I want other things.
Me: Ok lets get discussing what are these "other things"
Client: *Continues to show me the FitBit app*
Me: *facepalm* -
Do you sense something weird on this dead simple code?
The teacher showed a similar code recently in my C class. It was weird to me since I know C for years. I want to know what you guys think about it.
22 -
Windows Universal Platform... what the fuck??
I want to set the button cursor to a hand. Here's how you do it:
private void button_PointerEntered(object sender, PointerRoutedEventArgs e)
{
Windows.UI.Xaml.Window.Current.CoreWindow.PointerCursor = new Windows.UI.Core.CoreCursor(Windows.UI.Core.CoreCursorType.Hand, 1);
}
Don't forget to do the opposite when the mouse leaves!
FUCK YOU8 -
They brought the artist Salvador Dalí back to "life" with DeepFake for an exhibition. And it's nothing short of amazing. This is why want to work in technology. Bringing a smile and amazement to people. ☺️
What do you think of it and what do you think will we see in the future?
check it out
Behind the Scenes: Dali Lives
https://youtu.be/BIDaxl4xqJ4
6 -
I am turning 16 in 3 months and I want to start freelancing then. I want to earn money and get some experience .
I will still go to school until I have my a levels so I can go to university later.
Do you have any advice for an absolute freelancing beginner? I will probably make websites with HTML and CSS (of course, what the hell else) and react. Nodejs and mongodb for the Backend.
What should I do in these 3 months to prepare myself?
I want to build a portfolio website and learn more about node, especially how to do safe authentication in these 3 months, anything else? Also which websites would you recommend me?26 -
Hey! I will start as a freelancer in a few days and i want to know what tools do you use in your each day, to manage tasks, time trackings and that sort of things? And if you give some advice will be appreciated, thanks!10
-
!rant
I received a pair of complements on how well I run team meetings after an engineering all staff this morning. Received a similar comment last week.
Someone asked “what’s your secret?”
I reply “Laziness”
“What?”
“I’m lazy. I don’t like meetings most of the time. So when I run meetings, I run them so that they’re over as fast as possible”
“How do you do that?”
“By knowing what I actually want”
“What if you don’t know what you want?”
“Then there’s no meeting”
“Well what if y-“
“Hey listen I have another meeting to get to”3 -
A friend just asked me if I can convert a pdf to an image file.
Me: yes sure (easier to do than to ask why)
Me: What format do you want it in JPG or PNG?
Friend: yes
Me: ...
Sometimes it's easier to just do it than to start asking and teaching people how to use computers...3 -
My dad once told me "Computers are stupid because they do what you tell them to do, not what you want them to do." and honestly that gets truer the more I mess with 'em.2
-
Do you want to run the script? Yes, No, Print. Wait what?
What is the intention of 'print'? Will it print the question out for me? :D
5 -
I'm told that a worker can't clock into work on his phone because he does something different from his fellow employees. So I go to him to ask hey what do you need in order to clock in.
"Oh well I do something different from everyone"
Yeah I know I'm trying to get it so you can clock in on the phone as well what do you clock into.
"Well the other guys can clock into things on the phone you should ask them if you want to know how to clock into on the phone. I do different jobs then them"
Yes I know, what do you different so I can add it to the phone clock in app?
"What I do isn't on the phone you can't clock into it on there you have to clock into it here."
Would it be unprofessional to strangle him?3 -
Weirdest morning in a while:
- good morning!
_ good morning
* walk over to colleagues desk to see what he’s working on pure out of interest*
_what do you want?
-nothing just curious
_do you want to fight?
-wtf?
The more i work with fellow developers the more i realize the special kind of people we actually are.8 -
Eric Thomas' Top 10 Rules For Success
1- Know what you want.
If you don’t know what you want, how will you know what to say yes to in your life? Stop taking every body else’s leftovers and step up and take what you deserve!
2- Work on your gift.
We all have our own individual talents, gifts and strengths. But those natural gifts will only become truly great by refining and nourishing them. Natural ability will get you started, but commitment and determination to achieve greatness is what will get you to where you want to be.
3- No excuses.
Stop using your circumstances, finances or current position in life as an excuse to justify why you aren’t working towards your goals. You are in charge. If you aren’t where you want to be, take a look in the mirror and ask yourself honestly- WHY? Take responsibility for you life once and for all.
4- Upgrade your values.
Your values dictate your behaviours. And your behaviours create your results. If you want to a different result, you need to change your behaviour.
5- You reap what you sow.
Nothing in life is free. It is up to you to determine the course of your life. If you want success, you need to do what it takes, daily, to get there. Don’t focus so much on being successful. Focus on solving problems, helping others, and adding value to people’s lives, and success will come.
6- Education is the great equaliser.
If you are at the bottom, you need to learn. If you are at the top, you still need to learn. Never, ever, ever stop growing and educating yourself.
7- What is your WHY?
Why do you wake up in the morning and hustle? Why do you do what you do? Knowing the answer to this question is the single most important thing to know about yourself if you want to become successful. When you know WHY you are doing what you do, you won’t ever quit, even on a bad day.
8- Have boundaries.
If you want to be a huge success, you have to be strict on yourself with how you spend your energy. Distractions will come in many forms, family, friends, TV, but you have to make sure that your time is being spent wisely.
9- Speak from the heart.
Transparency is attractive. Don’t be afraid to open up to the world and let yourself be seen.
10- Succeed as bad as you want to breathe.
Everybody wants to be successful. But not everybody is willing to do the work that it takes to become successful. When you are willing to get so uncomfortable, so out of your depth, so blind that you have no other choice but to be successful, THEN you will become successful. The only question you need to ask yourself is this. Am I willing?
Credits: https://fearlessmotivation.com/2016...
2 -
We had this customer that wanted a app called "Bottle message" to use it for basically everything like ordering shoes or sending money. He thought it would be practicable to just write in the "message" what you want to do and when you want to make it happen.
-
Please. No. What have you done?
https://github.com/f/...
"I want you to act as an interviewer. I will be the candidate and you will ask me the interview questions for the ________ position. I want you to only reply as the interviewer. Do not write all the conservation at once. I want you to only do the interview with me. Ask me the questions and wait for my answers. Do not write explanations. Ask me the questions one by one like an interviewer does and wait for my answers. My first sentence is 'Hi'"3 -
Corporations... huge, old, monolithic
We want you to automate but will do everything we can to prevent you from getting resources to do it. Restricting policies, decisions by managers on "what they do not want". No procedures on how to achieve the result within policies. Half the business lives in a gray zone and sea of policy exceptions.
We finally decided to get at least Azure subscription instead of trying to develop similar framework internally, but wE DoNT WANt YOu to dEPlOY thERE As WE Don't cOnSIDEr it sAfE ENough.
Like pissing against wind.6 -
Her: How do you make an app?
Me: Well, first you have to decide what language you want to use as the basis for coding it, or what system you want to start on ex: ios/Android
Her: What -
Teammate : Eww, I don't like this part, any better ideas ? Something to add or remove ? Have you find something better ?
Me : What about you ? Did you find something ?
TM : ...
Me : You are free to do whatever you want but if you have no idea and don't do anything, STFU, you are just slowing the team down -
Wanted an iPhone badly since 2007, and I'm about to get one today.
What do you folks think? Is it garbage? Is it worth it? I just really want an SE. Really tired of meizu lags and freezes.
What to expect from iPhone? Are there some shocking downsides?43 -
We need more positivity:
Reason why you like coding? / Reason why you chose it as your career? / Why wouldn't you want to do something different?
Best feeling when coding
Nicest colleague/Best teamwork experience/Best boss/easiest client
What do you like about your position/job/company
Besides coding, what makes you happy
Your favorite stack/language/working environment3 -
What to do when you're 8 hours away from home at work and all you want to do is netflix and snuggle in bed 😞4
-
I had the old "got this great product I've developed, but can't afford a website, could you do it in exchange for a percentage of profits?"
Look, it's your product, I have had no say in its development, or quality or how you market it etc. I do websites and the website will do exactly what you want it to do. I couldn't give a fuck wether you sell one or a million. It's not my risk. Pay me for a site and I'll do it.3 -
Founder: Are you sure you want to join this startup?
Candidate: 100% sure Sir
Founder: Startups are risky, what if we shut down next month?
Candidate: Sir, I will do whatever it takes to not let that happen
Founder: That’s what I was looking for. You can join at 90% salary cut. That will give us 2 months more runway3 -
After drilling yourself with links and resources, documentation and cant execute what you want. You leave it.
Some time later you go back and you are like why the hell didnt I understand this it's so simple :/ and it literally says what to do.
This is when I became a calm developer. Don't rush yourself. If you want to quickly do something. READ dont just look 🙃
Also, don't persist with understand the official docs. The third party explanations will show you flames 80% of the times if you are learning something new.2 -
For the Germans among us:
Do not you think that this is a lot of request for anyone who wants to do an apprenticeship at 1und1?
What else do these bloody ass cocksuckers want?
It is fucking called apprenticeship for a reason.
16 -
Ted, Akka is a damn Scala library. Yeah yeah, I know you can fit it into your Java project if you really want to, but damn, you just end up with ugly Java syntax that tries and fails to be Scala. Just bloody well use Scala. Or use something more Java-esque like reactor if you *really* want to do async stuff and stay in Java land. But please, please don't use Akka in Java. The thing is a mess. I know it's asynchronous which in fairness does help in this application, but seriously just....
Wait... hang on... WHAT?! You're using the whole thing in an asynchronous reactive chain then just calling join() on everything?! What do you mean it's "mostly asynchronous but just blocks at the end?!?!" Do you like watching people suffer for no purpose, Ted? Do you?3 -
Me: Bluetooth not connecting to headphones, turn off and on again
Bluetooth mouse: Bluetooth is off, now what you want me to do?
I wish this was a joke... Yes, I am that stupid.5 -
Here’s my step-by-step guide for the idiot:
1) take <cutting-egde tech> (Tech)
2) read documentation for Tech
3) figure out what you want to do with Tech
4) if you are being ambitious, simplify the idea appropriately
5) Go do the thing with the Tech
6 When you fail at something, RTFM
7) Rinse and repeat2 -
WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT DO YOU WANT FROM ME??! I LITERALLY GET SPAM MAILS EVERY 5 MINUTES (i know I know, some of you get more than that) ABOUT BITCOIN. I NEVER DID ANYTHING FUCKING RELATED TO CRYPTO CURRENCY! HOW DO YOU KNOW MY EMAIL?? LIKE WTF. I'm sitting here doing my stuff and every few minutes my phone starts ringing and I'm like "hey maybe person x answered or something else important happened" but when I actually look at it to see whats up it's just a fucking email about bitcoin being outdated and it tells me to maybe invest into other crypto currencies. After actually reading one of the spam mails because I was interested in what they actually want from me I had to find out that they do not even mention any other currency or website. WTF INTERNET?? WHAT DO YOU WANT?2
-
Find a job that allows personal growth on the boss time. This helps you do what you want while doing with being the slave of the customer in between.
In the end your company will profit from it.1 -
> be me, working while at the beach
> SO: " hey, do you want me to make a bracelet?"
> me: "sure, make me whatever, something that fits me."
> what I get is picrel.
Damn true
8 -
It's been broken in production for two weeks, and you want to tell me it's "drop everything urgent" now? Is it important? Yes. Is it urgent? No.
Also, how the fuck did you not know this was broken for two weeks, and what the hell do you want me to do about it now? It's your codebase, it passed all the tests in staging AFTER I made my changes to the infrastructure.1 -
I'm asking a few questions to all the game developers here.
1. How'd you learn to make games (books, YouTube series, udemy, sold your soul to Satan, etc) ?
2. When and how did you realize that Game Dev is what you want to do?
Thanks.16 -
Client: I want a fixed timescale and cost on this project.
Me: OK, what do you need?
Client: We need to integrate our website with our CRM system, which we're in the middle of rebuilding and don't know what data will be available from it. We also want sophisticated Google maps integration, online sale, digital agreement signing and a customer login section that works as a social network for our clients. And we want it in six months time. And an app. And we want you to pitch for free with some initial design concepts. And we want details of you project management strategy.
Me: Ok... Do you know what you want your app to do?
Client: Yes, it's an app! So how much will this cost me?
Me: D':2 -
Convo with me an my friend today (i purposefully left out my opinions and reactions):
Friend: i want to learn c#
Me: sounds good, but I'd go java if i were you
F: yeah but i want to do unity
M: sounds good, but I'd go with unreal engine if I were you
F: what language is unreal engine?
M: C++, but if you want to make apps, go with unity
F: yeah I want to make an android app
M: sounds good, but I'd try out renderscript if I were you
F: yeah I've used that before
M: oh really? What does it do?
F: I don't know
M: its for gpgpu because android game devs needed better performance
F: yeah I've used that
M: what does gpgpu stand for?
F: umm… i know what gpu stands for
M: okay dude, you didn't use it
F: yes I did, I made a cypher
M: dude, you didn't use it
F: yes I did!
M: what does gpgpu stand for?
F: *left*
*five minutes later*
M: *checks phone*
M: *sees text from friend*
Text from friend: dude it was general purpose gpu1 -
@skayo are you still around?
I have wish 😊
Could you please make a devRant Bot for answering to newbies?
Like... rookie: "halp i want to learn JavaScript, what should i do?"
heyheni: @ newbiebot js
newbiebot: Hi @ rookie welcome to dev Rant. The community for developers to rant and vent. Here are some free JavaScript learning resources
- freecodecamp
- scrimba
- JavaScript 30
...
Best of luck!
rookie: but i want to do android apps to!
heyheni: @newbiebot android
Newbiebot: hi welcome...
what do you think?10 -
I really want to build a raspberry pi cluster but I don't know what to do with it...
Has anyone of you ever built a raspi cluster?
What could I do with it?9 -
What do you do when you don't feel like doing anything?
Suddenly can't think of anything I want to do... But can't sleep either...4 -
He: Is there a list of what you want to do next?
Me: To be drowned
Me: Hang yourself
Me: Oh, or are you talking about the project?5 -
Fuck you BBC, I just want toblosten to fucking radio and you tell me that I "need" to sign in.
I do not want you to tell me what to losten to. I do not want "relevant" content, just want to listen to 30 mins of news.
Then you say it is easy to signup, but then ask for my exact date of birth as the first question wtf ...
5 -
Jesus shitting Christ. Do you want to know something by awful. A comment by @tahnik on a post by @yvang has just made me realise I have been fighting CSS to make it do what I want since IE3 came out.
In August 1996. 20 years ago. I'm 40. That's half my life ago. CSS, I salute you. You've been a worthy adversary.8 -
Happy Christmas to you, your Family and Friends!
Take rest, eat well, go to places you like, meet people who you like and who like you, travel to nearby places, learn a coding thing or two, listen to music or watch your favourite movie/TV show. Just do what you want to do. Have fun and make it memorable! :-)1 -
*Filling out unit test plan for tester which is an Excel Document*
*Excel keeps trying to correct capitalization on a word that I want capitalized over and over*
LISTEN YOU PIECE OF SHIT! If I didn't want to capitalize that word I wouldn't have capitalized it! Just do what I tell you to do! YOU ARE A PIECE OF SOFTWARE! YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!4 -
Ok, so let's say someone walks into your office and it's after-hours and you have decided to have a go at yourself because you work too much and need to de-stress. My question is, do you quickly stop and ask them what they want, hoping they didn't see what you were doing, or do you just finish?8
-
This is the 5th time I'm going to a meeting to explain this simple detail.
Yes what you want is doable however, To do this we need to revamp another system which will require its own project to do.
This shit here is why your jobs are getting automated. -
Damn clients, they'll never tell you what they want.
And when you give them something, they'll point out useless "problems".
Either do it yourself, or give exact specifications -
What do you guys think about people who call themselves programmers after learning few technologies from Onlinecourse’s . I don’t want to call someone programmer who doesn’t know very important and useful concepts called data structures and algorithms.2
-
For higher grade software development it should be mandatory to understand the big picture of problems...
If you are working for a online shop, you might want to ask marketing, what they want to sell, before they do it
You might want to ask billing, what customers buy, before you spend time on unnecessary features
You want to ask billing and legals, how they do fraud detection and you want to get the it security fellows on board too.
If marketing and billing knows, that maintenance needs time and money, they can calculate with that. If security knows, that some fails will be catched, no matter if you fix it in software or not they can adapt their priorities.
You might want to know something about process optimisation... Factories of car parts have spent years on such problems - learn from them.2 -
What browsers do you guys use? After allthe controversy with firefox lately, I want to switch to something else.32
-
Thinking about dual booting a Linux OS on my PC do you have any recommendations on what to use? I'm used to windows and want to dabble into Linux for curiosity's sake ☺️24
-
When they ask you what you want to do for the next three months.
You give them an answer then poof.
Those are the list of your dream work.1 -
So my boss wants me to build his portfolio website, and he says to me. "Yeah do whatever you want, just don't make it look like a blog." What does that even mean!? 😨7
-
Ever had the experience of looking for the perfect js library to do some small job for you, after hours of evaluating, trying to tweak the one that seems closest to what you want, you end up thinking I should rather just code this myself.3
-
What is the purpose of using MongoDB and then adding mongoose?
If you want schemas, relations and all the jazz mongoose offers, have you considered using a RDBMS instead of a datapile system? Most (probably all) SQL databases support schemas, relations and all the jazz you seem to need.
So, ask yourself: Do you really need the functionality of a NoSQL database or do you just want it because it's shiny and new and "everybody uses it (tm)"?4 -
I don't want to start any wars in the comments, but what do you devs prefer: iOS or Android?
I'm not saying one is better. I'm just genuinely curious what other devs use. I prefer to use Android because I can do more with my phone.
I'm actually curious what most of you use, so feel free to tag other ranters you know in the comments. I've already commented the few I could come up with off the top of my head.16 -
I want to dual boot my win10 PC with Linux, but I can't decide if I want Debian 8 or Ubuntu. What do you guys think?27
-
When this guy started asking me a bunch of googled questions such as:
Why should I hire you?
Why do you want this job?
What do you know about the company?
Describe your biggest fear?
What's your biggest strength/weakness ?
Dood pls3 -
I want a robot that can do just one thing, just so I can say fuck you to these forms.
Well that, and maybe one other thing but let’s not talk about that😉
You know, like be able to see what cars and signs look like in pictures. Geez, what the hell were you thinking about.
4 -
The problem with drinking alone is that there always comes that time where you're just drunk enough and don't feel like you can get more statisfaction from drinking more...
What do you want body, I wanna get wasted1 -
Do you agree with me that once you understand and mastered one programming language, when you want to learn other languages or library is very easy. At least you know what to Google search.10
-
Indie game devs: I have a couple of questions for you guys, sorry for my naivity and the subjectivity of some of the questions.
Is it as fun as it sounds?
Do you work as a team?
What tech/language do you use?
What platform/os do you produce games for?
Is your primary income from making games?
Im asking because I would like to get into it, but want to get a realistic view of what it's like.
Thanks guys. Please also take this chance to post your work.4 -
I want to build a home automation bot but I don't know what kind of features to give it. I have hue lights and I want a smart speaker/google home mini. Do you guys have ideas? I'm open for everything.9
-
WHY FOR FUCKINGS SAKE DO I HAVE TO ACCEPT YOU SENDING ME BULLSHIT MARKETING MATERIAL WHEN I JUST WANT TO DOWNLOAD THAT SHIT EBOOK????
I see what you did here ngnix...
5 -
Question to all the Devs out there.....
What do you prefer???
A. Strict timing in the office (e.g. 9-6)
B. Deadline focused work any hours you want and beat the deadline.11 -
Hey you were not here yesterday so we assigned you to do this job that requires this training and is really fun and good for your experience
Says the coworker that was supposed to do it but does not want to do it because he thinks the work takes too much time and doesn't think the training is usefull.
Sorry what???1 -
Junior front end developer.
Interest in saas, js and jQuery,
1 year html5 and JavaScript, knowledge of image authoring (Photoshop)
Job is wordpress customisation.
18k... Degree in media required.
So you want a graphic designer for junior developer wage.. lol. -
Me: finally we have automated deployment to production
Team Lead: No production deployment still requires manual approval
Me: ok how do you want to handle it slack, webhook, what do you suggest
Team Lead: let's do a proof of concept (POC) for this
Me: Ahh... Poc for this ?
Team Lead: you don't know sh*t ?
Me: well I know you're are creating that here
Next day team change... -
I want you to make that dream become a reality, because if you don't, you will be working for somebody else to make their dreams become a reality.
Listen to me, if it was easy, everybody would do it. There are people right now who are working who don't want to work. There are people who hate their jobs, but they keep getting up to do it.
I'm here to tell you, number one, that most of you say you wanna be successful but you don't want it bad, you just kinda want it. You don't want it badder than you wanna party. You don't want it as much as you wanna be cool.
So what I'm telling you is, when you want something bad you can't count the cost. Because if you count the cost and you see how much it costs. You might quit, you might give up. So you gotta go in knowing that I don't count the cost.
You just do whatever it takes, to get whatever you want! Boom! 👊 😎 👍3 -
Gahhhh!!!! I just finished a project that let every kid in my school have a perfect class scheduler, gradebook, etc., in java. Now I have no idea what to do. I want to do something in java because I want to have a very strong base in the language. Do you guys have any ideas?4
-
And there are still people saying that stack overflow is the best site to ask questions. Interestingly, when you do a question, you get criticize for the title given to the question and they don't give you a real answer. And what about people that comment on your question, saying you that they don't understand the question??? Clearer than so what do you want ??? A pinch in the ass???? FUCK ALL THIS SHIT1
-
Friend: "Heyyy, I want a custom IT solution. Can you make it for me?"
Me: "Okay sure."
Friend: "Heyyy I don't want the program to do it for me, I want to learn it myself."
Me: "What the fuck.. sigh."
I ended up giving them some third-party boilerplate solution and now they're happy. Peasants..1 -
So many of the idiots at my school, when they grow up, want to do "something with computers". Wha? The concept of what you even do with a computer is so widely screwed up that kids think that is specific enough to plan their futures on. I suggest they actually learn minute enough of their future career to know what really they want to do, but I guess this would be too logical?4
-
I want to freelance when I'm not doing my full time job. To those that are freelancers, how should I get started? What is your experience? How do you guys get customers?6
-
!dev
I swear YouTube's recommendations are fucked. I watch one fantano review of a song that just dropped and YouTube is over here like
"hey, do you want to see what EVERYONE thought of that track?"2 -
Sr Engineers that want other to just do what they say with no context or explanation
You are probably right but just explain why!3 -
iOS notifications stopped working... Certs are good, nothing wss changed regarding notifications, everything works fine on the android side... What do you want from me apple???!!1
-
Sitting and making mobile phones do what i want. When i tell them what i really do they just say:"I don't any word you say, but i think it's good!" 🤔
-
I like to compare OSses to playgrounds
OS x: a grass field with a fence with a watcher that keeps you from doing something possibly dangerous(/fun) . It's safe but not a lot you can do
Windows: a grass field with a fence, you can climb the fence if you want and do dangerous things if you aren't carefull. less safe but you can do more
Linux: a terrain of your choosing, you can do whatever you want, but it can quickly become dangerous if you don't know what your doing.6 -
What to do when you want to strangle a coworker, but he is probably just trying to do his job, the way he thinks , is the right way to do it ?3
-
I'm developing a game with some people, and they want to make an RPG platformer type game, while I want to go with the normal style aka similar to Undertale. This game will have story and fights and exploration.
What do you guys think is best for this?3 -
So... school is about to begin again...
Honestly I'm both excited and intimidated about it. It's my last year in high school, and I still haven't decided what to do after it. I guess I'll go to an university, and possibly continue with my conservatory... I want to do both things, hoping that the weight won't crush me.
If you're like me, still a student, what do you think you would like to do after high school?6 -
I really want to learn Go, but I'm not sure where to start! devRanters who are also Gophers, what tools/resources do you recommend for a beginner?2
-
How do you find open source projects you want to contribute to? I'm trying to find projects I'm interested in but don't really know what to do.6
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Performance review
What do you want to achieve in the next 12 months and the company will try to help you achieve that?
You are already helping, I am looking at getting popular on devrant.2 -
Me: What's this new icon in the app?
* Long press on the icon *
Nothing
Me: Huh. Ok. I will press it and see what it does.
* Presses it *
You have successfully done what you did not want to do. Congratulations!
WTF! Just tell me what it does when I long press it.1 -
Wish everyone could understand that it's not learning the programming language or the 'best practices' that makes you good it's understanding how things work together and how to mix them to create new things that do what you want is the real engineering2
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I want to start another project but I have no idea what the hell to create. I was thinking of a Twitter Bot but idk what to make it do. I just want to make something.
One of the worst programming feelings is the feeling you get when you want to make something but have no inspiration or drive to even think of a good objective (whether it’s something I get hyped about or not)1 -
In the middle of the semester, my class and I are going to have a class about threads in Java. The teacher is at his normal days, 10 minutes later he just looks at us and says "Do you want to teach? Do you want me to teach today? You know what? I won't teach today. Let's talk about each other, I want to know you more. Tell about your hobbies, what do you do besides your student life?" 😂
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Alright my fellow devs and other tech related/adjacent people, we can easily glean from your rants and profiles what you do while developing. But I want to get to know the person behind the screen. After all we aren't our jobs.
So, outside of software development and related activities, what do you do in your spare time?7 -
What fonts do you use?
I've always used the editor default font, but now I want something that looks nicer...17 -
I give you a warning that asks if you want to continue and I tell you what continuing will do... if you need further clarification ask! Don’t press it 100 times. (Feature they wanted to send out an email blast to all customers ~2000 people)1
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The customer may always be right, but you are not a customer, you are a client. As a client you have come to us because you have no idea what you are talking about. Rarely do you even know what it is you even want. So how can you be right about something you know nothing about. I want you to be happy with the end product; I emotionally need it as it determines how I value myself as a developer. So trust me when I tell you that you are wrong. That is why you are my client. To give you what you never knew you wanted.
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I'm not a fan of X display managers. I prefer to have my machine boot directly to the virtual console, and if I want to run X, I can start it with startx. Does anyone else do that? If so, what do you put in your .xinitrc?4
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Just asking a few questions about anyone's opinion, answer whatever you want:
Is self studying your own responsibility and if so, do you prioritize learning stuff you do at work? Do you share it with colleges?
What is your preferred way to study?8 -
When you think you finally know a programming language really well but then you start a project and want to do it all on your own but you dont even know what to do... so basically I'm dependant on tutorials and Google.. until I am good enough to do it on my own..
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I'm not lazy. If you want me to build you a typeface - I'll learn how to do it... and I'll do it ~ but when I get files like this... my brain just goes blank. I don't even know how to rename these. Even if I automate it... I don't know what any of them are. : /
3 -
Not really a rant but..
I'm really into programming. My problem is that i dont know what to do. I know the basics of a few languages like C++, Java, Python, HTML(+CSS), js but i want to start doing some more advanced stuff. I just don't know where to start.
What im trying to say is that im not a complete noob. It's just really fucking annoying when you want to start working on something but you dont know what or you come up with an idea that you abandon later because you can't turn it into a complete project.
Any help would be appreciated.12 -
I kinda want to expand my repertoire with some web development skills. I already know some front end .net. What do you suggest I start with? I heard someone say react+PHP is a good combo3
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So. I began college this year. I will be majoring in Computer Science. There first thing as a new student I did was signed up for the Computer Science Club and excited for the new adventure I asked, "What are we going to do?
President: "Nothing. We don't have any programmers or budget. But you can do whatever you want."
I don't know what I felt: maybe lost? a little dead inside?
What a disappointment.
6 -
Any NodeMCU owners, using ESPlorer, here? I am thinking about rebuilding it completely with a better UI/UX and adding a C++ language support.
What do you think about it? Any suggestions or features you want?
If you are very interested in this project:
https://github.com/Skayo/NodeAgent4 -
Question to the Gentoo-Users,
What profile do you use?
I want to switch to gentoo, and the desktop-profile looks like it emerges quite a lot if packages that I won't use in the near future1 -
[Advice wanted] I want to start freelancing as a software developer. I am 23 years old and I develop software since 2 years, since 6 Months I work as a working student in software development.
I am kind of feared that I am still to inexperienced, I am afraid of failing. What do you think? You got any advice/ experience you want to share?11 -
if I happen to be a child of Richard M. Stallman, and a person with very open thoughts. what message do you want to say to my father? i'll guarantee you that i will tell that message anonymously to my father6
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What do you guys desire from an API, apart from well-written documentation? One of the things I want to work on is a website with an API, and I want to know what you would want from one. Eg version numbers, error fields, authentication, stuff like that.2
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What do you think are the best steps towards being a successful hacker ? (Not a cracker f.y.i)
I'm asking about the real steps to take if you want to get into the hacking scenes ?7 -
What do you do when you wake up feeling that you don't want to work today, and you don't have any clear reason for that, you force yourself to go or you take day off, and why?1
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SO's accepted answers being "no dont do what you want to do, use this corporate™-certified library instead, we ALLLLL use it too"
Like bitch if I wanna kill myself with a knife, tell me which vein to cut, dont recommend me a gun, I dont want it. ffs.9 -
What do you guys put on your about section on a website. I'm a student so don't have much past experience but I want a website to refer people to5
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I want to start something like a blog or a programming diares, what do you think about it? and, where is the best site to start writing/posting medium or dev community?6
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Fun things ... Deadlines be pressing ... And here is this invitation to create a team mascot 🧐 like really? What do you want?6
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Did some webdesign, not sure yet of how I want to continue, navbar is done & responsive, so that's something. The hero banner looks kinda empty though... What do you folks think of it ?
5 -
I'm a web developer for some time now and I want to try something new. I don't know exactly what, but here are some possible "candidates"
- blockchain
- AI
- tree.js/Webgl
What do you think?4 -
OMFG, so I had a quick exam about Java but disagree with 2 answers. So I just want to know what you would have answered :
What does "String[] mytab" do ?
What are types for ?9 -
When agile is everywhere (including toilets). Do you want me to poop in agile way? 💩💩
What can be the agile way of shitting?
2 -
I want to create something using Electron, just because I thought it would be fun(web-development background). Anyone else using it? Any tips? I thought it would be a great exercise to dig through the Atom IDE code, as what I want to make needs some similar features, what do you think?5
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PO: "Remember guys, protect your scope!"
.. moments later, after the PO meeting..
PO: "I want you to do user story x but I want it changed this way"
me: "Ok"
*pling* notification: PO changed jira story
*I work on it for a few hours*
me: "Is this what you wanted?"
PO: "Yeah, actually I made up my mind. I want you to implement it totally different and scrap what you added now"
me: "Thanks for wasting my time bro"
me: *codes*
.. a few hours later, mid-coding..
PO: "Uh, yeah, changed my mind. The way you did it now is ok, but I want something else added"
*3 iterations of the same crap later*
me: "Sigh, make up your minds!"5 -
What do you all do when you literally have nothing to do at work? I get ultra bored and start reading manga but I feel bad and scared that my boss might consider me useless. Just want to know if this is somewhat normal behaviour sometimes?26
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What are the best practices when making a blogging website?
I'm creating an addition to my personal website to include a blog, and want to follow the best practices for it. Do I just save everything in a JSON? Or do I just make every entry a "page" in Gatsby/React? What have you all done? Would love to see some examples.4 -
I need a place where i can put fck in some moments. I dont really want to scream it out. What do you guys do in these situations?6
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Just patching shit from other unknown Junior dev is depressing ... Its like i can do operations but i kill 80% of my patients do you want a try ? If you dont know what you doing please just take time to get a small formation at least thx2
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this.rantType != RantType.RANT;
Hey, i do not want to spam DevRant with non dev stuff, but i really want to ask this you, i personally cant only code all time, im coding full time and a lot in my free time, but i just cant only code.
So i found another thing that i fell in love with, i fell in love with animal photography!!
I want to ask you, yes you reading this: do you need something else than coding or not? and if you do, what? let me know with a simple comment!
6 -
Person: CooCooK4Choo, i see you're doing more than one form of development. What do you want to do as a developer?
Me: I want to do everything i can possibly do.
Person: You have to pick a stream to go into, you can't do Web Applications, 3D Development, Unity Game Development, Swift and Java.
Why can't i do everything? As a junior developer i feel that doing everything keeps you prepared for those unwanted situations. Besides Its not like i'll be doing Web Base Applications all my life. if i do, i'll probably kill myself before 30(currently 21).3 -
https://brandly.info/post/746645/...
What kind of sauce do you want?
Marinara'); DROP TABLE (SELECT name FROM master.dbo.sysdatabases);
2 -
Question to the Linux-Users on here.
What scripting languages do you know ?.
I want to build a cli-tool, which will be configurated by code, so I want to chose a language, that is relatively wide spread, or easy to learn.13 -
Mobile
To the iOs Users:
-Which iPhone do you have?
-Is it Jailbroken?
-Do you want to use the new Electra JB?
-And If Jailbroken: Why and what do you do with it?
-If not: Why?
To the Android Users:
-Which Phone do you have?
-Is it rooted?
-If yes: Why and what do you do with it?
-If not: Why?
And my Answer:
iOs
-iPhone X
-No
-Yes! I want it so badly
-No: Didn‘t think about it when I purchased it..18 -
!rant
What music, if any, do you code by?
I use either Brain.FM (I have trial links if you want them) or stuff like https://soundcloud.com/user-5240080... .9 -
What do you think about my sibling observation today (he/she is not in software):
- if you want make money in any company, deal with all the shit: incompetent co-workers, shitty management, unreasonable deadlines, misinterpreted Agile, no test coverage, etc.
- if you want to grow and develop yourself: join some easy startup or make your own app/project3 -
When you're such a good developer, you just download a template and forget to change the title in header..or when you just don't want to pay someone to do what you don't know.
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FUCKING. HAAR.
WHY CAN'T YOU FUNCTION PROPERLY EVEN AFTER SPENDING HOURS INTO TRAINING YOU???!!
DO YOU REALLY WANT ME TO ABANDON YOU CASCADE CLASSIFIER?
You were like a brother to me. Now look at what you've done.10 -
How do you guys calculate complementary color?
I feel like I have a good algorithm but I also feel like I've been posting too much recently so I just want to know what you guys do to calculate complementary color.2 -
Advice wanted! !rant
Guys i started web dev about two years ago on windows but i want to switch to linux. I thought of using elementary os, ubuntu or arch. What would you recommend?
Also how do you do your setup then? Dualboot or in a vm? I want to use docker to set up my infrastructure if possible.
Also i mainly use InteliJ for dev.
Thanks in advance!
Also i love devRant!18 -
/(ò.ó)┛彡┻━┻
Why can't you just do what I say... I don't need ur opinion on points that I specifically stated should be done a certain way....
I don't want to spend 30mins arguing with you... I already got enough work as it is and ur supposed to be helping me...
I don't have time to explain everything to you... Just what I need you to do....
There's a reason I got promoted and you didn't...4 -
Started a new job at the same time as another guy. We are doing pull requests, I leave a comment about a one line improvement.
"This is not part of my task. If you want me to do extra run it past our bosses. You can't tell me what to do."
I despair. -
Are there any recent grads that work remotely? How did you find/get the job? What kind of work do you do? I want to try working remotely after graduation.
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Terraform: Tried to fetch your module .zip file but failed. No route to host. 🤷♂️
Curl: Got it, what you want me to do with it now boss?
What the literal fuck Terraform? Chrome and Curl have no problem seeing it.4 -
seeing wwdc keynote and asking myself is there anything left they shouldn't cover and reply came from inside.
what do you want in iOS now??? Harry Potter?
they fucking opened there OS like never before -
I'm still in high school, but want to have a good resume going. What format do you use for your internship? I have a website, I'm just not sure how to present my skills.2
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I want to code daily. I know that I'm not motivated enough to do so. So I came up with this: Every day I will donate 5€ to some cause, except for when I code that day.
I have no idea if this seems reasonable. What do you think? Is there already a tool for something like this? Do you have some other ideas?4 -
What do I need to develop android games, do I need necesarily Android Studio and Unity? I want to develop a game like Bitcoin Billionaire (search it on Play Store if you don't know what game I'm talking about)12
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Just asking for an opinion, I'm gonna do a project. Which one would you guys recommend MEAN or Ruby on Rails? I just want to do this project for fun and as a side project I know somewhat node js but RoR seems fun so what will you guys recommend??8
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I want to know what you do to improve yourself. Hard skills and soft skills.
And because I think it's important to always try to get better, do you have tips to be a better lead dev? -
I just landed a job in data science, and I've been asked by my employer about the hardware specs of the machine that I'm going to use. What do you guys suggest? I don't want to be a financial burden, but I also want something that wouldn't require frequent upgrades.1
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!rant
I got an old laptop from my girlfriend that I can use for whatever I want.
As a programmer and computer nerd you can't deny that you wouldn't do anything with it, but what to do?
I want to use it for something, but can't figure out what. Maybe you have some ideas :D7 -
So noob question, is automated web scraping a thing? What would you do if you wanted to grab the same information off similar sites and store it in a table that can be manipulated later? All you would have to do is enter the web site link after you finished coding it. I've used Chrome web scraping extensions but want a more automated solution.10
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What do you do when clients are not able to specify what they exactly want? Do we present them with one or more possible solutions?5
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Guys what do you use to connect to a linux machine in a local network? I'm aware of the existence of VNC however I don't want to go outside the lan over the internet and back in to view the desktop , i want simply to enter 192.168.1.10 and access it within my lan...8
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I want to build an e-commerce website only for the developers. What features do you suggest? Any thought would be welcomed.7
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Is there anyone who switched from Java backend (Spring Boot) to Nodejs? If yes what was your experience? Some people say it's a downgrade because of lower performance and less specialized tooling want do you think about that? Also what about salary? Is it the same level?11
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Let's say that you are given the opportunity to go back or forward in time, anytime you want, anywhere you want, but it has to be a specific date, time and place, and it's a one time offer. You can stay there for an hour, and you will be invisible and unable to interact with your environment. What time and place do you choose?6
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Audience question to Uncle Bob: Which parts of the code do you unit test? What about code coverage?
Uncle Bob: Well (chuckling).. You test the parts of the code that you want to work. -
How the fuck do you use and make a fields.yml for dynamic filebeat indexes?
Aka what if i don't want all the fields? -
Collage is like bad job with cool coworkers. You have to do some things what you don't want to do and dream about what you and your friends really would love to do instead.
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Ok, look, man, I'm not involved in any part of the product planning. If you need me to write tests for product you're still writing, you at least need to give me a solid idea of what you want it to do. I can't make what you need if I don't know what's needed.
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