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So, there's this big company in Poland with its name starting with C and having CEO famous for saying that every software developer can be replaced with a finite number of college students.
They recently lost a HUGE government contract and so stories of people working there came to light. My two personal favourites:
1. A tester who has been fired for finding too many bugs and mistakes in their product. He was also told that bugs are to be found by clients on production, not in-house.
2. A programmer who was yelled at by his team leader for "wasting time" on code reviews instead of typing the code. He was also told he hadn't been hired to criticise other people code.
God, I'm so grateful I don't work there.20 -
"Sir, it compiles"
"Push"
"But Sir, what about debugging?"
"I said push"
"But shouldn't we..."
"PUSH THE GOD DAMN CODE"4 -
Manager: Why haven’t you shipped any code today? It’s almost lunch.
Dev: Stuck on a bug
Manager: I’ll help you
Dev: Please don—
Manager: Have you tried thinking outside the box?
Dev: …Dear god please end my existence
Manager: You could try stack overflow too, have you ever used that site before?
Dev: 😮 🔫
Manager: Also sometimes bugs are caused by npm modules so rule that out first
Dev: *On knees praying to Zues for forgiveness and/or conveiniently placed lightning strike*12 -
CS Teacher: *provides shitty code written in (I kid you FUCKING NOT) Microsoft Word, sans font*
Me: *Submits beautiful, fully working and commented code*
Half a point off because I didnt write how many points the assignment was worth at the very top of the code.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME YOU CUNT GOBBLER?! YOU JUST **HAD** TO TAKE THAT HALF A POINT OFF, DIDNT YOU? MAYBE YOU'RE INTIMIDATED BY THE FACT I DONT USE MICROSOFT WORD TO WRITE C++?? God, I hope you take a nail gun to the eye.16 -
Had a PR blocked yesterday. Oh god, have I introduced a memory leak? Have I not added unit tests? Is there a bug? What horrible thing have I unknowingly done?
... added comments to some code.
Yep apparently “our code needs to be readable without comments, please remove them”.
Time to move on, no signs of intelligent life here.39 -
Only God and I knew what I was doing, writing uncommented code in C a year ago.
Now, only God knows.2 -
Was working on some a project at a coffee shop with my girlfriend when I got frustrated and exclaimed "God damn why is this method breaking everything". My girlfriend looks up at me and starts in surprise "code can break?".6
-
Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest with God as the judge. They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight.
Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show his work. Visibly upset, Satan cries and says, “I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out.”
“Very well,” says God, “let us see if Jesus has fared any better.”
Jesus presses a key, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers.
Satan is astonished. He stutters, “B-b-but how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus’ program is intact! How did he do it?”
God chuckles, “Everybody knows… Jesus saves.”4 -
I was tutoring a Freshman, its something you must do at my uni and I saw his code. He said he stopped working when he changed text editors...
God damn, its like the aftermath of a tornado
9 -
Worst bad practice..
Manager: I need code today
Developer (thinking) : let me give it without unit test. Anyways tester will test it.
Manager to tester: complete testing fast.
Tester(thinking): developer must have unit tested it. Let me skip it.
Enjoy testing completed.
God help clients.. 😊5 -
With all this emoji code bullshit flying around in here.
I thought I would test my luck and make what I think would be the worst possible end result of this.
<?php
define("😂","God help me");
define("🤡",100);
for($🍔 = 0; $🍔 <= 🤡; $🍔++){
echo 😂."\n";
}
?>
This will execute and run on PHP7.1 😱
Now let’s all band together and kill emojicode before it becomes a thing we will regret!11 -
Sometimes I wish my girlfriend was able to write code so we could talk and share our code and thoughts.
Sometimes I thank God she finds it the most boring thing on Earth and we get to talk about other things and decompress.13 -
rant
The Java course at our Uni requires us to do an end semester project - A Java App with Swing for GUI and some Multithreading code in it.
They asked us to upload the code to drive. I was bored and was checking out my friends' projects.
The code below is what I saw in one of the projects. They have simply called a thread with an empty run method because the project required to use multithreading concepts, wtf.
But then, It is no surprise to me cause these are the people who memorize code and vomit code for marks.
I am worried that people are going to be awarded degrees and called software engineers.
God save the software industry!
24 -
One of my colleagues at work has cooked up this amazing amazing method.. and guys brace yourself.. This code is on production..
17 -
Oh my fucking god. This blessed feeling when your code finally works and you can remove all those fucking breakpoints and move on.
These are the moments I became a programmer for2 -
When my manager asks me if I can fix all the bugs on the board by the weekend: 'look, I have a covenant with God: I don't do miracles, He doesn't code.'4
-
So my company hired a new UX girl last week, today is hers 3rd day at work.
Its 11.30 in the morning, I've been working for couple hours, on my custom module (if you have worked with drupal you know how stoked you are to write your own god damn code once in a while), im blasting some trance through the headphones. It is an early spring and the sky is clear. Perfect day non the less.
Out of nowhere this new UX girl appears near my desk, grabs my tea spoon without even asking and goes to stir her god damn tea. She throws it on the kitchen table without cleaning and goes to her desk.
I got so god damn triggered, this ruined my perfect mood for the upcoming 2 hours. Still cant think of a reason why she would do that, this is just plainly rude.14 -
So you're telling me, that "margin-bottom: 10%" was more unreasonable than this?
I swear to God maintaining code is just absurd...
12 -
Ok so the good news is. My vacation is in 2 weeks. And also just got Hired, and handed a big project with big money
The bad news is They need to refactor and document their legacy code from last dev partner. And this is the commit history
OH MY FUCKING GOD KILL ME NOW!
10 -
Why... why the fuck do people write unit tests and then comment out the god damn fucking assertion lines....
Like what the flying fuck? Cool, we can get some code coverage marks but for fuck sake actually let your tests do their fucking job!!!
Oh, the asserts fail?
Well fucking sort that shit out instead of commenting them out.
I don't get it, if you're going to write tests, fucking test something with them, or we'd be better of without them.7 -
-Look at super hacky code for 30 minutes
-Ask yourself, how did this ever work, guy must have been an idiot
-Check annotations, you committed it
-"Dear God past self, what have you done..."3 -
Hunted a bug for 8 hours, thinking it was a problem in my code....
Found out it was someone else's code generator that injected the bug...
Contacted the concerned dev... Had to convince him for another 3 hours that it was his change to the code that caused the issue. He is still sure that his change can't break the code...... What the fuck are you..? A fucking God programmer who never makes mistakes??
I mean how hard is it to just accept when I just proved it to you??6 -
why i like c#?
1- easiest way to build a program with good GUI. just put some XAML code and it's done.
2- I love syntax of c#. it has types. god I hate php XD
3- C# is also fast and strong.
4- don't forget the .net framework that has almost every thing I need.
3- A god like IDE, the Visual Studio.32 -
Oh god, my first proper rant...
Ok, I am finally fucking sick of all these people shit talking game engines because some people make shitty games with them.
What does it matter what game engine someone uses, unreal engine, game maker, unity, it doesn't matter what you use.
If you think an engine is shit, make your own engine from scratch with all your code, Jesus Christ people -.-10 -
Porting of a huge web application from ZF1 to Laravel 5.5.
In summary:
1. approx. 200,000 lines of spaghetti code (ZF1)
2. approx. 2500 custom Javascript files
3. approx. 600 CSS files
4. hundreds of node modules and libraries
5. 12 different layouts (Home, Member, Admin,...)
6. ...
7. ...
8. ...
...
I've got six days to get this done. God help me.25 -
Oh my fucking god... I am looking at this code written by a previous developer and he put the passwords in plain in an array in a PHP file, like WHAT WHERE YOU THINKING? (btw that's also how he checks the password, just check whether it's in the array)
c'mon pls14 -
My previous manager always complained about the programmer that used to be there before me was utterly incompetent and unable to work.
One day checking a legacy app that needed a minor update I was looking at the code and said: “It is true the previous programmer didn’t even know how to put together 2 lines of code, this is literally the shittiest thing I have ever seen, thank God he is not around anymore!”
…
Manager: “Actually I wrote this myself”
…
…5 -
New semester, new problems....
Just started my 6th semester at uni and my teammates are already proving to be serious dumbfucks..
They want to keep all files neat and organized, sure, fine, good idea.
They want to use Dropbox to store code and our LaTeX report, no, never! Somehow managed to get them to switch to GitHub, yay!
They want to have everything in one fucking repo! Why? Oh god, why? And I can't change their mind on this!
And they still want to use Dropbox to have a backup and sync between their machines...
So during this semester, we will store our LaTeX report and the, at minimum, 3 code projects, in the same repo organized by folder!
Why not one project, one repo? Then I won't have to pull all the shit code that I don't have to work with!
Expect more rants in the coming months...2 -
Oh my fucking god.
How can you, after 2 decades as a developer, still produce code to this very day that has that many warnings and suggestions that Visual Studio lights up like a bloody pinball machine from all the squiggly lines!?!
Take your craft seriously or find something else to do!9 -
Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest with God as the judge. They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight.
Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show his work. Visibly upset, Satan cries and says, "I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out."
"Very well," says God, "let us see if Jesus has fared any better."
Jesus presses a key, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers.
Satan is astonished. He stutters, "B-b-but how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact! How did he do it?"
God chuckles, "Everybody knows... Jesus saves."2 -
Got an offer to work at a game development company. Office looked awesome (decked out in pinball machines and a huge marble track), located overlooking Schreveningen beach, young energetic team.
Then I saw the code. Oh God the code. And they wanted me to become system architect.
Hybrid PHP 4/5 OOP/procedural code custom framework running on a spaghetti database creaking by on the skin of its teeth... all backing Flash Facebook games.
Nope.5 -
Open source...
Apple: F*** Open Source!!!! Money's our god!!!!
Google: Let's make MONEYYYYYY... and then give code
Microsoft: Ya... ok... yeah... no... sry but we have do to some money...
Linux: OPEN SOURCE FOR EVERYONE!!!!! IT'S FREE!!!!!! hey... guys... what ain't you coming, I'm lonely *Play "sound of silence"*7 -
i am fucking tired of companies that come to me expecting to magically fix their STEAMING PILE OF BULLSHIT AND TRASH CODE. how about when i ask "can i get a project brief", instead of saying "just fix it" or "it just needs to do this", GIVE ME A FUCKING COHERENT AND DESCRIPTIVE WRITEUP OF EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED. i can't read your minds, let alone read the code the previous cock sucking developer wrote, so guess what? i'm left with no other option but to completely rewrite it. to top it off, instead of giving me god damn excuses as to why you can't get me the api key for your order processing, MAKE A NEW ACCOUNT AND GET IT TO ME. how the fuck do you expect me to test an application when i don't even have access to the fucking api the whole shit pile is based around? i swear to god if these people expect me to have this done by the end of the week but want to be little cunt nuggets they can go eat shit. fuck you, fuck your "contract", fuck your company, FUCK EVERYTHING. greedy, shit faced bastards2
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/* rant */
I freaking hate it when people call me to fix their 9 gazillion dollar ultra extreme enthusiast alien technology pc just so they can play a a god damn freaking son of a damn bloody bitchy fb game on 9000 fps in 4k while some people struggle to have 6 tabs open at the same time so they can code+compile+preview+consult the interwebs. And lets just not mention the amount of monitors mmkay?5 -
Same days you just need a duck.
Me: map.get(record.Id)
Code: null
Me: no, map.get(record.id)
Code: null
Me: let's grab this record from the map
Code: null
Me: what the flying fuck, take this fucking ID from this fucking RECORD and find it in THIS god forsaken map.
Code: null
Me:.......
Code: 😉
Duck: did it occur to you the ID exists only AFTER the map is created.
Me: you fucking wha..... oh I'm a dick head.7 -
*Me after writing a piece of code and praying to god that there are no errors.*
My pc: 1 error(s) found.
Me : "I hate coding. I hate coding. I hate coding."
*Tries everything to solve that problem.*
My pc: No errors found.
Me: "I love coding.Yay xD"2 -
When you run into a supposedly deterministic piece of code that behaves differently each time you run it for God knows what reason4
-
Scenario 1
Friend 1:"Hey, you're good at computers right?"
Me:"Erm yup."
Friend 1:"Can you hack Instagram? I've lost my password."
Me:"Oh My God."
Scenario 2
Me looking at a friend's unity C# code
Me:"You know there's an enter key right? Why is your code horizontal not vertical?"
(Means that after a semi-colon he continues his code)
Friend 2:"I like to read my code in horizontal, that feels natural to me"
Me:"What ever, as long as it works. But why do you have so many if function inside another if function?"
Friend 2:"Cuz I want the player to do this while moving"
Me:".........."3 -
Reviewing old code. First thought always starts with "What the hell... What did I do here?"
Best case scenario: " oh.. Oh! I wrote this? Nice."
Worst case scenario: "I hope nobody has seen this... Oh God the header has my name..." -
Well, it finally happened.
After 25 years coding in all types of languages and environments, I’m no longer having fun.
It now seems like it’s a fight to get interested in the code. I used to be something that I would spend hours / days doing. Now I just want to walk away from the code.
Is it true (do you think) that after a while all you see is a for loop, an if statement, a null check and you just think to yourself. Fuck this! Because I think I’m there.
God it’s depressing to think that I no longer find it fun.4 -
Just found out that Windows has a built in Code Editor. Saves your ass if the only alternative is Notepad!
8 -
Am I the only one who when they are super focused writing code and debugging starts acting like Bob Ross painting a picture?(without a filter... of course)
And here we’ll add another little god damn breakpoint so we can watch our fucked up variables report the wrong thing..
Oh and over here will just add another little happy simple if statement.
Oh look at the happy if statements in a row.. maybe we’ll add little switch statement here.6 -
What do you need a boss if you can find the idea, analyze it, design the product, code it, test it, setup the cloud and even do the marketing.
Dear bosses,
I am a developer not a God!3 -
I recently came across my old interview assignment code which I had written while I was still in college. Oh my God, it was cringy! It was such crappy code 😂
My coworker (who had interviewed me) saw it too. He was surprisingly very chill about it, saying that the code is not bad, it just shows a lack of experience. I think I will choose to believe him 🙃4 -
First we had this stupid Hoverboards.
Now we have god damn fidget spinners. Every Idiot got one.
Now there's fucking Fidgets Spinners with LED.
Will the next fucking Cancer be a IDE with RGB flashing Code, animations and this shit is coming form coding Noob Hipsters and script Kiddies, who wanna be cool???
Kid from the future: Yo Bro lets configure our LED Fidget Spinner with this premade software and call it coding. We will be cool hackers.
12 -
this cat always accompany our developers day and night.
he is a cat-code!
may god bless him health
2 -
In my uni course "Algorithms and Data structures" we use Java. Fine. Definitely not my preferred language but it's not like I have a choice.
Anyway, our teacher uploads code files for us to use as reference/examples. The problem is, they look like this. Not only does she not indent the code, she also uses a charset that is not utf-8.
In the rare cases where she does indent the code, she uses THREE, yes THREE spaces...
24 -
typical conversations with nondev coworkers.
so what r ur hobbies?
le me: i code and stuff..
for fun?
le me: i code and stuff..
i mean, like what u do after work.
le me: i code and stuff
but isnt that what you do for work?
le me: Oh My Fckn God You're Right!4 -
Email from a client today: The programmers just need to add an "if/then" code that IF ... BUT NOT ... THEN ... ONLY ... AND ...
God help us if they discover while5 -
Mystery of the day: why some developers can't decide on a code style. Let's count:
- two types of brace placements
- three types of assignment spacing (with, without spaces, and aligned with extra space)
- two types of clause spacing
- mixed case in the first char of a variable for no apparent reason(?)
- bonus: unneeded parentheses
At least in ONE thing the person was consistent: no space between parameters!
WHY GOD.
13 -
Making python 2x faster by replacing enums with literal values.
Pros, it's faster, cons, it's unreadable.
God I miss compiled languages. At least optimizing them requires intelligent problem solving.
It's a text parser state machine transition so it's a code hot spot, so this kind of optimization is worthwhile. But it's kinda annoying.
Next is get rid of any semblance of readability and replace the match with an array index...31 -
Hey, it's 2023.
If your component isn't written in TypeScript, I'm not using it :)
"TypeScript is overly complicated!!!" why, because it pointed out everything wrong in your JS code?
"TypeScript is not flexible!!!" why, because it makes you not rely on fragile "only possible in javascript" patterns?
"TypeScript isn't needed!!!" why, because you've never worked on a project with more than 100 lines of code where dependency management and clean code policies were implemented?
god just stop with the JavaScript purist BS, you aren't going to win this battle, and it's even worse because not only are you injuring everyone in the software community, you're injuring your own productivity and skillset
actually, you know what, fine. just use pure JS and HTML implementations. see you in 10 years when i'm retired and you are still running around in circles wondering why the world has left you behind25 -
"Developer code must ensure that IAsyncDisposable implementations don't take a long time to complete."
Ah yes, the very technical "long time" unit of measurement. God why don't you just go fuck yourself microsoft7 -
Thank God the week 233 rants are over - was getting sick of elitist internet losers.
The worst security bug I saw was when I first started work as a dev in Angular almost year ago. Despite the code being a couple of years old, the links to the data on firebase had 0 rules concerning user access, all data basically publicly available, the API keys were uploaded on GitHub, and even the auth guard didn't work. A proper mess that still gives me the night spooks to this day.3 -
"Intense coding. A day passes. Wait, how the fuck did my code work? It doesn't make any sense!"
It happens so, so often, God why 😐1 -
FUCK OFF with all this Code of Conduct/ Contributors Covenant BULLSHIT..... Coraline Ada Ehmke The stupid cunt ass tranny bitch started this bullshit.
Heres a crazy idea.... Focus on the god damn code and quit worrying about the other shit.
If you cant stand the heat get the fuck out of the kitchen....
I am sooooo fucken tired of this pansy ass cry baby SJW generation. All of them just need to be forced onto a judas chair... im afraid they would like it too much tho.
At this point there is'nt a law to prevent me from discriminating against Political Ideologies in employment. Its the only way to prevent your company from being infected by the virus.19 -
Being a programmer in a scientific discipline can be infuriating.
using "no one" ="almost no one"
using everyone = "almost everyone"
1. No one knows what even the very idea of good practice is. And everyone refuses to learn. 3k lines of repetitive copy pasted main. 500 lines of plotting method.
2. Raw C-style pointer based array creation. Won't use develope array libraries because what if development stops. FUCKING HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR CODE WHAT IF DEVELOPMENT ON YOUR CODE STOPS. FUCK.
3. LOOP VARIABLES DECLARED AT THE BEGINNING OF THE METHOD WHY.
4. Everyone wants to make modular, independent code. No one wants to use OOP. NOPE. ALL IN ONE FILE. WRITE C++ LIKE A FUCKING PYTHON NOTEBOOK. FUCK.
5. LIBRARIES OH MY GOD PLEASE DO NOT CODE UP YOUR MATRIX MULTIPLICATION. PLEASE DO NOT TRIPLE LOOP IT. NO. THE LINEAR ALGEBRA LIBRARY WILL STAY IN DEVELOPMENT.
6. Please realize that literally not one comment over an 1800 line file does not help anyone.
FUCKING. WHY. WHY ARE WE SCIENTISTS SO GOOD AT SCIENCE AND SO FUCKING SHIT AT THE CODE THAT MAKES OUR SCIENCE HAPPEN. WHY. FUCKING. WHY. FUCK.4 -
God damnit!
i recently inspected the c# sourcecode of a webservice, our webservice develop references to.
As i discovered a particular function in it, my face went instantly pale.
This golden-hammer function consists of ~2000 lines of code.
In the first line there is "try {".
On the last lines is "catch (Exception e) { throw new SomethingWentWrongException ("special function"); }"
At least, he "tried" xD
I don't want to develop on that planet anymore...7 -
WHY???
WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SO FUCKING SURPRISED SHIT HITS THE FAN EVERY GOD DAMN TIME A CHANGE IS MADE IN YOUR LIMPING SYSTEM?
YOU GAVE NO FUCKING SPECIFICATIONS NOR ANY CARE TO DECIDE ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT IN IT.
EVERY TIME I SEE THE CODE I GET EYE CANCER, DEBUGGING THIS SHIT IS AS HARD AS FINDING THE FATHER IN A HOBO STREET ORGY
AND YOU FUCKING THINK ADDING FEATURES INTO THE SYSTEM UNDER THESE CIRCUMSTANCES IS SO GOD DAMN EASY.
I hope life's god damn dandy for you, get fucked with a pipe bomb.
Oh, hello DevRant, sorry for sitting on the fence for the past months.4 -
When your manager who claims to be a Wordpress "developer" says to you oh my God, why are you using notepad to write the page when there is an editor?
My response, because I am a developer. I write code and I can write better HTML than any editor can. I then said I do add editors for my projects where required, not for me, but for the end users that cannot write HTML. He walked away 😂15 -
!rant
To the Devs at OnePlus,
Who ever wrote the code that lets me swap the 'back' and 'show recent apps' buttons so they're like my old phone.... You're a fucking god1 -
Day 2 in ComSci class (following my last rant)
"Okay, so! All of the schoolwork and homework will be done on paper and pen, submit and I will grade it. Only once, no second chance"
Okay. Okay. This went over my head. What are you gonna do? OCR the code into the compiler, compile it and run to see if we fucked up to give us an F? What are you, god? Here's a brilliant idea, teach them Assembly! Guaranteed error to give us Fs! FUCK YOU3 -
Fuck this completely abysmal CMS!!!!
Not even god damn Einstein would be smart enough to understand this stinky pile of legacy code!
No, it's not enough to write an HTML template in PHP with less than 500 lines of code, noooooo, every god damn template HAS TO BE AT LEAST 3000 FUCKING LINES OF CODE WITH RANDOM INCLUDES EVERYWHERE!!!
Every fucking thing I fix spawns at least 2 new bugs! I FUCKING CAN'T!!!
I swear, if I meet these fucking worms of developers... someone will eat fresh turds mixed with puke from a highway toilet!17 -
God I fucking hate WordPress
Today I found out a single WooCommerce site is using 20% of database CPU (for comparison, 50 other sites use only 10% between them). Upon investigation it turns out that WooCommerce loads every single product in order to do the taxonomy count. Because the data is stored as PHP-serialised values in post meta, there's no way to do a decent "SELECT count() ... GROUP BY ...". And that code came straight from the WordPress devs, no more and no less...8 -
Whenever I automate a lot of menial code, so that after that I only declare what I want, and I immediately and automatically get it just the way I wanted, I feel LIKE A GOD.
Bow to me you stupid computer! I now command you with just a thought!1 -
Let's start by saying: God do I love programming and hate work!
My dream job would be a place where I get to write quality code for something that's actually useful and makes sense to people (or a group of people) without all the usual job bullshit; all the politics, fucking useless hours of meetings, the pretentious ass holes, and the useless mindless product owners with good pay to live comfortably and some organization (not being a complete disaster). It's only a dream though...5 -
As long as the couch does what it should and is stable, I think it's a good code. Programming means knowing what the computer does before it knows it.
Heaven for programmers:
2 -
I (barely) wrote very few lines of code today and called it a day. In this state of burnout and actual physical fatigue, this is more than enough. God do I need a refresh!1
-
So I finally get code in Xcode able to compile and run after crashing in main()... due to obscure settings in it's build it does not like. Took hours of hunting around, googling, and used up all my craps table luck for the month.
Now, out of the blue, after a good 30 test run, edit, compile, run cycles... BOOM, the god damn thing starts crashing at before main() again. No friggin idea why.
Xcode says SIGABRT to me... yea well I got something for you Apple Xcode... 🖕🏼
1 -
[CMS Of Doom™]
Imagine bringing every HTTP Query Param and every god damn fucking POST var into to current code context.
"extract()" is one of the reasons why I have terminal PHPTSD.
10 -
After a long day of wrestling with some bad code and getting it to 'work' leaves me feeling dev angst. Then on my way home I see some minor bug in a phone app I'm using and I think to myself, "MY GOD.. all software is made out of SUFFERING."
Behind every tiny defect out there lays some poor soul's looong hours of overtime, stress, tears, alcoholism, and stale popcorn dinners. -
GOD DAMNED DICK EATING, CODE SHITTING, COPY PASTE MONKEYS!! STOP RELEASING LIBRARIES IF YOU HAVE 0 COMMON SENSE.
WASTED 3 HOURS JUST BECAUSE YOUR PILE OF FUCKING NODE MODULES CHANGED ENVIROMENT VARIABLES, AT LEAST PREFIX YOUR DIRT CODE BEFORE SHOVELING IT INTO THE MOUTH OF OTHER DEVS AROUND THE GLOBE.
TL;DR
Fuck shitdevs.1 -
It's both extremely satisfying and extremely rage-inducing when you learn that an update in the framework breaks your once perfectly functional code for no reason.
Especially when said code is from a sample written by the developers themselves.
Thank god there was a hotfix. -
Every time you use an unnecessary !important in css code, God kills a cat :(
Please don't use !important if it's not necessary.5 -
By default, GitHub uses the term "master" for the primary version of a source code repository. Developers make copies of the "master" on their computers into which they add their own code, and then merge the changes back into the "master" repo.
"On Oct. 1, 2020, any new repositories you create will use main as the default branch, instead of master," the company said.
Oh my god. Can you people just fuck off with your arbitrary terminology changes?!?!?42 -
Oh my God I'm a failure. Been working on this booking system backend for two weeks, refactored some code, and now it doesn't work at all.
I've gone back through the entire thing, and I can't find the problem.
Open up indeed, start browsing for low-skill jobs. Maybe the carnies will have me back!
*Re-reads error message, adds missing underscore to function call.1 -
So just installed the new vs code user setup thing and oh my god!
Finally a custom title bar that actually looks good on windows instead of a nice dark application with a blinding white titlebar :-D
7 -
Going through the typical phase of being depressed because of feeling underdeveloped skill wise and ignorant knowledge wise; despite how much I learn. God, spent 3 days on a recursive dynamic programming problem and couldn't implement it right... then I decided to glance at someones solution on github and turns out he did what I couldn't do in 70+ lines of code in 20. Sigh, just want to right concise and clear code and become a better programmer all together, but that obviously takes time. For the mean time I am feeling quite defeated.9
-
Jeff Dean Facts (Source: God)
Jeff Dean once failed a Turing test when he correctly identified the 203rd Fibonacci number in less than a second
Jeff Dean compiles and runs his code before submitting, but only to check for compiler and CPU bugs
Unsatisfied with constant time, Jeff Dean created the world's first O(1/n) algorithm
When Jeff Dean designs software, he first codes the binary and then writes the source as documentation
Compilers don't warn Jeff Dean. Jeff Dean warns compilers
Jeff Dean wrote an O(n^2) algorithm once. It was for the Traveling Salesman Problem
Jeff Dean's watch displays seconds since January 1st, 1970.
gcc -O4 sends your code to Jeff Dean for a complete rewrite
-
If you code with PHP, don't call yourself a developer. Call yourself GOD-KIN; ENGINEER FOR THE MACHINES OF CREATION; (S)HE WHO KEEPETH THE WORLD TURNING.
@alybadawy ;))))9 -
Docker I don't have time for your bullshit tonight!
You're supposed to be this safe space where my code runs and neither the code or the god damn container changed.
Don't give me some bullshit about the container either, it's pretty clear docker itself is fucked ...2 -
My colleague sends me an email saying “here’s a check not being performed which causes a bug can you fix this and push to production”
With a screenshot of the code and place it needs to happen underlined
ARE YOU kIDDING ME OH MY GOD
He doesn’t have time to write 10 characters but he has the time to make this work of art of an email and send it to me
4 -
I swear to God it's people like this that just get on my nerves
"Oh look at my fucky javascript code"
"Let's tag it as JAVA NOT JAVASCRIPT BECAUSE IM AN UTTER IDIOT"
It appears that proper tagging is not just a devRant issue.
7 -
I am this die hard fan of House, MD. A medical Based Drama TV series.
I find soo many similarity between how doctor House diagnosis patients and how we coders debug code.
Why the flying-fuck is there not a similar show for engineers?
Where engineer is followed closes as he debugs a problem? And saves the day?
Why god why.
I just pray for this miracle to happen.
(To start with Dr.House abused vicodin, we coders abuse caffeine and sudo chmod 777 :P )9 -
The legacy codebase, episode 4584985948:
- outdated comment
- die parentheses space string no-space parentheses
- die AND exit, just to be on the safe side
- won't comment about the screaming boolean
- at least they used triple equals (and yep, that's a font ligature)
4 -
i’m so tired of people who are developers that go to every new popular social media platform and try to teach others to code. god fucking dammit. what could possibly going through these people’s minds? do they really think people who want to learn to code think “i want to learn to code so bad. i should scroll mindlessly through instagram/tiktok until i find someone teaching how to code”?
god, if you’d ever uploaded code to tiktok or instagram to teach others to code, you’re a fucking idiot.4 -
writing a whole god damn function in one single line doesn't make it "one liner" and it DOESN'T make your code better and more readable!!!2
-
Oh my god my brain is hard wired to write c++ in snake case. Spent 4 years doing it. This code base uses camel case.9
-
FUCKING SHITTY PHP WITH NO FUCKING COMMENTS AND A JOKE OF A DOCUMENTATION WELL I DON'T FUCKING KNOW WHY THAT BUGS HAPPENING NONE OF THIS CODE MAKES SENSE AND IT APPEARS TO BE HELD TOGETHER BY DUCT TAPE AND PRAYERS AND IM GONNA LOSE MY MIND IF I SEE ONE MORE FUCKING 200 LINE FUNCTION WITH A NAME LIKE 'transformData' WHAT THE HOLY FUCK DOES IT DO I SWEAR TO GOD THIS CODEBASE NEEDS TO BE FIREBOMBED10
-
Being the only dev in charge of the project, makes you the one to be blamed for.
The God saviour, shiny armoured back end developer that joined the "team" (only me) to help into this new project Just Said in a meeting:
- "I wont code anything for this new project, I can't get the point of It"
So every meeting was
- "why feature X is not ready?"
- "I'm waiting the endpoint for It"
- "well, then mock It"
Now I fucking give up.
One month mocking things and "presenting" features that don't even exist. -
"Did you see, cryptocurrency XYZ has N commits in the past week, but the price hasn't gone up?!?! WhAtS gOiNg oN!?!?"
Dude. If I could just write code to make the price of things in the real world go up, I can assure you, I would have done it.
That's not how this works. THAT'S NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS REEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
God... normie "crypto experts" who haven't coded a day in their life really piss me off, and are super cringe. The funniest is that none of them or their followers realize it.2 -
I am sitting on a fucking vibrator!!
PoV: Writing my code, minding my own business, listening to lofigirl.. private Schema<?> asSc
<rrrrrrrRrRRrRRRRRRRRHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHRHRHRHRHRHRHRHRHRRRRRRRRGGGGGRRRGGRGRGGRGRRRRRRRRrrrrrr.><KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK><3.5sec pause><rrRRRRRRRHHHRHRHRHRRRRRRRHRRHHRHHRRRRrrrrr>
hema(Type ty
<hhRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrRRRrRRRRRRRrRRRRhhRHHrHRHHRRRrrrrr>
pe) {
How the hell am I supposed to concentrate when my neighbours are trying to make me cum with a drill.
Swear the God, my ass is on some serious vibro.10 -
6 Months later...
Me: Oh God! This code is horrible! Who wrote this crap?
Also Me: Shit, it was me.1 -
Two states of a developer every day:
• Fuck this job. I hate everyone and everything. My code sucks. It's not working. Why did I choose this career?! I am so miserable.
• It works! I'm a programmer god. Oh my goodness I'm smarter than everybody.
4 -
Everything works fine until your manager starts looking at your code and all of a sudden your screen starts interacting with your manager- "Here is a bug there is a bug and you have got a lazy developer who ignores me like a dumb."
And I am here like wtf ... Wasn't it working fine earlier...
Manager in anger... Me in shock and code is totally in revenge mode...
Oh god... turn this Monday back to Sunday!!!
Scary Monday story begins.... -
Oh. My. God.
Boss JUST NOW after months of development has told me that anything the user sees needs to be i18n wrapped
*Bangs head on desk*
Why wasn't I told this?
Why isn't it this way anywhere else in the code?! Wtf!
Lol at least today will be laid back and easy, albeit tedious8 -
we had a front-end dev that needs to "re-architecure" his codes when we need to add a small change or a feature.
and im like: wtf is wrong with your code and you need to re-architect it every damn time?!
PS: that dev is no longer with us now. thank god.1 -
Last night I was told I had an doctor's appointment...
That screws up my plans for joining a Hackerrank Code Sprint
Well this morning there was a thunderstorm and just before leaving, got a call from them.
The appointment is canceled because they don't have power!
The funny part is today is gorgeous, sunny and warm.
So is this like an act of a god, Hacker God? -
In one big project I made in past (when I was new developer) every ajax call execute code which looks like: dbquery("SELECT * FROM table WHERE something='".$_POST['value']."'");
That project doesn't exist now (thank god)1 -
**Day 2 of glaring at the code.😩 The bits are collapsing in front of my eyes into bytes and the glaring dark theme of sublime engraves the code into my retinas. Is it day or is it night? I can no longer tell. Having scoured every corner of the internet and applying every fix I can find the bug persists... was I ever destined to program? For the doubt eclipses my hope of ever seeing the light. I peer over the edge of the world into the abyss and the abyss... **
"Wait 🔎, shouldn't there be apostrophes' in here? MOTHERF-" 😡😠💥☠
**tests**
**works**
*glee* 😄
"God, I love programming!" 😃4 -
Well I feel like an idiot thanks to my IT teacher. This guy, this fucking guy thinks that we’re seeing computer for the first time. He’s literally saying “You see this black bar on the bottom? That’s taskbar.”. It’s like he’s teaching 7 years old childs 😤
But the worst part is my class mated don’t know such basics! They don’t know how binary code works, what is motherboard, how to login to school domain on Windows.
But on the flip side, they look at me like at the God 😏7 -
God, I hate python and its ecosystem with a passion! I feel like because of it being so popular amongst non-programmers 99% of the python code one has to deal with is just plain garbage. Also, fuck your shitload of dependencies who all fail to install!4
-
Working in a organization that hire people that don't know what they doing and can't ask a question correctly...
HELP WE'RE GETTING AN ERROR IN OUR CODE WHILE TRYING TO GET DATA FROM YOUR DB... PLZ FIX IT
WTF IS NOT WORKING, WHAT ARE YOU QUERYING, WHAT IS THE ERROR?
**Sends a SQL query but with ? for all the parameters**
WTF..... U PPL ARE IDIOTS.... CAN'T EVEN ASK A QUESTION CORRECTLY OR PROVIDE NECESSARY INFORMATION... CLEARLY YOU HAVE NO IDEA WTF UR DOING..
EVEN GOD CAN'T HELP YOU... -
Once I quit my job, I'll leave this message on the comments "Only me and God knew what this code did. Now that I'm gone, only God knows... Please increase the variable i for the number of tries. i = 999"6
-
Virtual box.
I recently had to code sign an app for ios without having a mac at the office or an iphone to test it on. Thank god for virtual machines though1 -
Why are people behaving like communist dramaqueens on every OSS repo?
Why do OSS libraries and frameworks have to be political cunts and insert *the current thing* into every god damn console message of their tooling and on their websites?
Stop it. Get some help.
I want to code, not be a aborted political SJW fetus. Let me fucking code in peace.5 -
So after my hosting my first project and announcing it on devrant, the users pointed out the many security faults and places where the code can be exploited ( thank you so much ). So I started my research on security ( im 99% self-taught ). The first thing I landed across is the code vulnerabilities which the I can fix then the vulnerabilities of the language itself and then binary code to overrun whatever the language it is. Well, the topic gets broader and broader. If I click on a link named xxx vulnerabilities oh god that is a whole new collection of hundeds of wiki like pages. I feel like I'm lost and here I need some real help2
-
These are the programmers who I had encountered and detest intensely:
1. Programmers who addicted to take other programmers' failure as an achievement.
2. Programmers who are overly arrogant. (Hey just because you know something , that don't make you a God)
3. Programmers who stealing my code without crediting me, and yet he got paid.
4. Programmers who discourage new developers.
5. Programmers who can't take criticism (Once I told a dev that his code is not clean as he decided to name the variable like __fuckingFuckingFuckningVar = "Fuck"; , he yelled at me that i am a MF. Which it's completely childish in my opinion, as a software engineer, I think programme a clean code for easy maintain and understandable for others, it is a responsibility.)
6. Programmers who compare me with others.
7. Programmers who are not friendly. (Don't be like Stackoverflow).13 -
A guy just smashed his head on the keyboard in a slack channel i’m in, likely being drunk
Thank god I was quick enough to tell him to not drink and code. He promptly followed it by „This message has been deleted“ -
Spent ten plus years professionally coding, used c, go , python, openwhisk ,docker, kubernetes and God know what else. Now I have to convince those team members who coded so far in their free time that write fucking clean code, avoid dependency on distributed and hard coded configuration, how to build a product
Fuck my life2 -
90% of beginner questions are so damn annoying. I get it, some people are new and still learning but for the love of God, I just want to tell these kids to shut the fuck up, sit their ass down and WRITE SOME DAMN CODE, instead of bitching and moaning about what they best language is or how to magically read a tutorial and become a ninja in a day.
Fuck.4 -
God I hate my job I hate my job I hate my job.
I know that you are supposed to make more than what you have been hired in the first place today, especially in tiny company, but I expected to code a little bit...
This week, all I have to do is to deep-etch pictures in photoshop, send packages, answer the phone, do the SEO and be the community manager on Facebook. No time to code at all.
I just have to stay till august, then I will finally be able to switch company. Please make it fast...6 -
Jesus and Satan have an argument as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest with God as the judge. They set themselves before their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight.
Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over. He asks Satan to show his work. Visibly upset, Satan cries and says, “I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out.”
“Very well,” says God, “let us see if Jesus has fared any better.”
Jesus presses a key, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers.
Satan is astonished. He stutters, “B-b-but how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus’ program is intact! How did he do it?”
God chuckles, “Everybody knows… Jesus saves.” -
Feeling frustrated/angry because you can't get that piece of code to work? Just remember that Dev in Hindi almost loosely translates to God :P
4 -
When youre hired as a programmer and you miss programming. you code at home Because your work wont let you. Too many documents to create, too many tickets(IT operations) to create and too many phone calls(follow up on IT operations).
It feels like im wasting my days on a job that i dont care. Thank God for self projects.2 -
Thank God for Ctrl+Alt+L in PHPStorm...one guy from our company seemed to like this code style once upon a time:
if ($variable > 0)
{
// stuff
}
else
{
// other stuff
}6 -
I think this is the first time ever on my team where I read someone else's source code and actually went "wow... This is pretty well written and structured". No god methods or classes.
-
god... why is the stupid "tAbS oR sPaCeS?" still around, it's like some stupid ass HR person got it long ago and it's never gone away. nobody has used tabs to write or format code since like the 1950s when there were mechanical fucking typewriters! and if you use them today in your editor, you're WRONG
I will die on this hill.13 -
You know that feeling when the junior programmers do their job quickly, properly, and elegantly just like how you would have done it? :)
Yeeeeah, me neither. What the fuck is this dog shit?? God dammit! Why we have 2MB of CSS?? Do you even you this jQuery plugin?? What do you mean frontend.php and frontend2.php?? Why is this block of code indented all the way to the right?? "Just 1 bug left" OH REAAAAALLLYYYYY?4 -
Notice how the Apple code samples have moved from the very well designed Objective C to a mature Swift... (sorry, typo, manure Swift) Swift 1.0, wait 2.0, no hold on 3.0, oh yea 4.0. It's a moving target for their developers with code samples all over the place...
Once Swift stabilizes, sure, ok, force everyone and everything to change (seriously?).
Apple, why the FUCK do you think we want to deal with your beta crap forced down our throat? Its bad enough the language is an inconsistent illogical mess but having to come along with you for the 'we-don't-have-a-clue-what-we-are-doing' ride is utter bullshit. Leave the GOD DAMN Objective C samples up for crying out loud.6 -
Machine learning is hard! Spent a whole day with Weka and it's Neural Networks. God my brain. There is too much to know before being really equipped to use this tool... especially from code.6
-
I honestly have no problems with UI designers, I really don't and actually respect the work they do..
But god dammit, those fucktards should try designing the UI with actual code rather than photoshop or whatever they use these days..9 -
(I am talking about my school’s promotional project, look at my rants for reference)
Deadlines were insane and I had nothing to do about it. Had to touch JavaScript for the first time in 3 years and code like I still know it by heart.
In short: H.E.L.L. It stands for:
H oh
E god
L never
L again6 -
Today I met a guy who fuckin remembers some shitty flag he had set in a code 10 years ago and can read code in his brain for anything he had coded.
Fuck you ass hole you got be shitting me, oh come on show me something fucker. You make me sick.8 -
Trump: I pay taxes as little as possible!
Me: I write code as little as possible!
I have written less than 2000 lines of code in production in 5 years(about 2 line per working day)but with my luck, I earn more than average wherever I live. God, I live this profession AND my luck.
Note: I write fewer sloc not because I am lazy but because of my industry.7 -
Since roughly 1 year ago I have been making "leftoff" comments in my code, whenever a work day ended or so, with a few notes on what I was doing and what I was about to work on next.
And I recommend it, I think that's good practice. Because I forgot to do it on friday and I have no GOD DAMN CLUE what I was working on :|3 -
Right now I need to fix 10 years old php code handling data sets coming from a database. Normally I work mostly on C#.
God, do I miss LINQ!8 -
GOD I FUCKING HATE UNITY AND FUCKING C# SO MUCH
EVERY TIME I TRY TO MAKE IT DO WHAT I FUCKING WANT IT TO IT'S LIKE "mmmmmm nah lmao" LIKE FUCK WHY CAN'T YOU JUST FOLLOW FUCKING 3 LINES OF CODE NO MATTER HOW I PUT THEM OR ORDER THEM YOU BRAINDEAD FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT PROGRAM4 -
A colleague of mine was very smart, but didn't know how to use classes in .net or object literals in js, so he organized his data with arrays.
It worked, of course, but, god, did I hate working with his code. It would take hours to make simple changes.1 -
Taking over development of a system from some other guy who just straight up dropped it with zero documentation. The code looks like he wrote it after watching some getting started tutorial. There is no structure. Some methods and statements are just empty. And he spelt 'connection' three different ways in the same file.
God help me...1 -
!!rant
I just hate job ads which have a pseudo-language (Java or C for ex) code snippet inviting you for an interview.
Oh my God they are so fucking LAME. I actually pass on these job offers.1 -
My god i hate so much reactjs... And will never understand how a normal brain could write such a russian doll code.
But then, i met flutter, god i will puke.10 -
So my senior visited some of my very old code today to make some changes on his own, then asked me to explain flow since he wasn't understanding it.
Me after looking at code for 2 minutes:
"When I was writing this, only God and I knew what it meant. Now, only God does." -
So I've been writing code for 2 months to implement the GAN for a research paper that I'm writing, and I'm slowly becoming paranoid.
IN THEORY my idea should work. BUT WHAT IF there's some bug in my code that's preventing it from actually doing so. I'm tired of having to wait for days to see some minuscule training improvements...
I swear to god, I'll blame it on the documentation. >D2 -
Have you ever got a situation that while working on a CMS (like this Drupal piece of shit), you wake some JavaScript code up?
Lead dev : "Yeah the zoom doesn't work anymore, go and debug it"
Me : "k I'm on it"
*Opens file, start to put 3 or 4 console.log() around to see where things start to break
*it breaks since the beginning why not*
*Starts to play around with variables*
*Result are 'normal'*
*Change edited line to what it was before*
*Code works fine*
*What the hell*
*Git revert /js/script.js*
*Empties cache*
*Code works as it was supposed to do before*
I swear to god I work here since January, this is the 3rd time it happens. Now I'm sure the project has a soul since it stole it from the developers that worked on it before me1 -
That time when the IT guy for your client company email you asking if we need to change code of their web based system cause they got new printer.
He forwarded the question from users like he didn't know the users needed to select a new printer or change their default printer.
God knows what he's doing there!!3 -
Oh my damn god,
I just found the remote-server plugin for vsCode and holy fuck balls, it's the one thing I've wanted from vsCode since ever.
When you dev in VMs and are forever working with remote code using SFTP and git on a remote servers, it's a pain in the ass.
But this, god damn this solves all of that, and with connection specific plugins, I think I just came.7 -
Wrapping up a project, I am cleaning code to give the customer the source code. The project had lasted over a year. I joined the team a few months back and it frustrated me how messy the code was. In my previous teams, any new resource was told to stick with the rules, and eventually they became embedded in them. The case seemed opposite here. Developers who wrote clean code became lax (they made me even more pissed).
Now I have the job of getting rid of warnings, formatting issues etc and I do not say this lightly, but, there was no fear of god in anyone who worked on this codebase. The code formatting I have seen makes me wanna...
5 -
Started a new job this week, picking up the front end development of a property management system, since they're old developer just left.
Oh my god was his code bad, inconsistent use of js versions e.g only sometimes using lambda for anonymous functions, variable names that were a single letter, no comments, no documentation, and over 30000 lines split into almost 30 js files, following the logic of it is as fun as a hedge maze with no exit.2 -
By Thor (not the god, the dragon), Belial and Thor (the god, this time)...
Just got the sources for the software that runs on the SDR for my project. I think I just found the mother of all legacy code:
The whole behaviour is described in a single, 4000 lines C file. Most of the code is in a giant switch with cases selected from an enumeration with names that don't match their function. All varnames are overly long, yet hopelessly unhelpful. And why three fuck would you use pointer[0].data instead of (*pointer).data or pointer->data like a sane person would !? pointer isn't even an array, so why would you use []?1 -
At what moment do you realize you need to stop coding? Mine is when the code starts bleeding together. Like when I start putting config file information into my methods, which I ended up doing tonight. 😖 God it's time for pizza. 🍕2
-
Worst architecture: the stack compiler I wrote. I basically just made my own shitty webpack.
The idea was simple: Babel to minified JS, Scss to minified CSS, and HTML to minified HTML. Made in Node JS, of course. (perhaps that’s where I went wrong!)
The thing works... and I use it... but boy is it bad. It even broke on my current project (which is for a client so...) and I’m having to work around my own god damn code.
I really need to revisit it and redo it.1 -
!rant
I don't want to seem like a huge noob and a douche... but I spent like 5 hours the other day working on a bash script prompting you if you want to delete each individual user on the system (keep in mind that I'm fairly new to bash) and when I got the code correct... holy shit... I felt like a fucking god.1 -
I'm so fucking done with this shit. If someone forgets every git command every single fucking tim le is ok to ask. Every time someone asks advice on how to write a fucking retarded workaround (out of lazyness, because fixing their own code is too much to ask), it'a ok.
The *ONE* fucking time i ask the name of the fucking function to generate a filter via code using their fucking cms? "you should do that via gui!" "who cares if there'll be conficts with git, just manually redo everything in production!".
God fucking dammit how can you even have the balls to complain about terrible planning and stuff not working if that's your fucking mantra?!2 -
Quick tip:
When an answer in SO has more upvotes than the question, has so many comments, and has so many explanation, so many code, and so many links, IT HAS A HIGH POSSIBILITY THAT IT IS A TROLL.
God damn i hate when programmers don't have any humor, and leave a comment saying
TROLL. PLEASE STOP THIS. FUCK
Good thing, devRant is full of people who HAS humor. Thank goodness.
tl;dr gone off topic -
You know I really hate uncommented legacy code especially when it was written by the PM himself years before and will never admit fault with this God awful unholy hell spawn
-
When I added that bug fix to my code a few weeks ago only myself and God knew what I changed - now only git knows...
-
When you're not confidant enough in your own code ... but you should be:
Me: "Why the hell is this duplicating data?!?!?!"
-time passes-
-figures it out-
Me: Wait that returns an error wouldn't that be ...
Yeah there was an error on the god damn screen in the status box I created telling me what was going wrong but I just ignored it... I was knee deep in code and my own UI was telling me what was wrong ;)2 -
Finally got the last round of god awful bugs in this god awful shit code fixed. I thought I could finally get back to working on the new build, but no. My reward is updating a god damn pdf, because none of the fucktards here know how. I have to work backwards through all kinds of pointless bullshit code that apparently generates it, all to find a mother fucking image that just needs to be replaced. Thanks a lot, to the tryhard motherfucker who wrote this code. I hope wherever you are, you're in complete agony.2
-
Do you ever look at old code from years ago a think “god that was bad”? I’m so embarrassed by something I wrote on 2010, it’s shockingly bad!
I actually feel a little low and think maybe I’m not very good! Of course now my code is so much better but think to myself, is what I’m writing now gonna be the same down the line?2 -
Thank God for devrant. I am literarily fuming right now. Just removed some redundant (or so it seems ) code last week and already suffering the consequencies. Crazy commenting screwed me up really bad.3
-
God help me if I ever meet the person who created Javascript.
Happy it wasn't my first programming language or I would have quite coding even before I started.
I had rather fail in C++ a thousand times(I failed C++ in highschool) than ever code in JS.
#The hottest mess I ever met.6 -
"Whenever there is a decline in quality of code and rise of bugs and errors oh dear coder, I manifest to show the path of bug and error free coding" said code-god
- Chapter 1 Verse 1, Code Gita -
So here I am trying to Code a Rick Astley video on my website so 2 people can watch it in real-time but the code KEEPS DOING THE PART THAT I SPECIFICALLY TOLD IT NOT TO DO UNTIL I GET THE TIME FROM THE GOD DAMN DATABASE!!!!1
-
Oh, god...why? (my reaction reading my code from 5 years ago, when I got my first programming job)
I still work there and I love it. I learned a lot in these years... -
God damn the last few days:
JUST give me some modular-ish code that is a bit more explicit and doesn't measure every fucking thing over and over.
Like I get how taking a couple .lenght and a bunch of other variables adds up to "Make a meat lovers pizza".
But fuck man when the code goes all over the place just give me a block of code that measures all that shit in ONE PLACE a god damn pizzType variable that I can use elsewhere and just fucking know what is going on.
Every damn corner becomes this maze of measurements that you cant be sure is exactly the same unless you fucking watch every damn variable, I get how that happens but god damn.2 -
Am I the only one that hates working with other developers who think they are some kind of God? I mean it's good to have someone confident in your team but it's so frustrating when he or she starts changing code because "this is better".2
-
Here's some delphi code where one random developer from the 80s tries to force an error
if k=N then
begin
Memo.Lines.Add('Error, [some info]');
a:= 0 ; b:=b/a; {Here we try to force an error}
end ;
Oh god :'( -
People who speak in puzzles during code reviews - fuck you! Just say what you want to say without being philosophical about it. Want me to change the name of a function? Let me know, instead of ranting on about some other shit. I should not have to ask you twice for every god damn comment what you mean, you prick. It’s just annoying and a waste of time.4
-
Yesterday while I was searching solution on stackoverflow for an error I was getting, for found the whole code for the thing I was working on🥳
That is when I realised I was searching for copper but God gave me Gold.3 -
The „UI-God“ in our team has never heard of dry or clean code.
Clashing classnames for modules in global namespace, gives a f* about patterns, naming conventions, structure and everytime I rebase it breaks my code.
I need the same amount of time fixing his work as he spends on it. -
I wanted to accomplish new things today.
Instead I'm swimming in:
"This worked before"
- No it never worked that way, you want it to, but it never ever ever has done that thing NOT EVEN CLOSE.
"The thing..."
- Wtf is the god damn 'thing'? How could anyone possibly know what you're talking about? How do you go about life like this?
"How come we can't make it do X?"
- Because the code can't read your god damn mind, that shit isn't in the database, you don't update it and your laundry list of minor fixes for one time or non issues has resulted in you getting coded into a maze of stupid custom code so deep you're NEVER GETTING OUT!!!!
"Is your timezone before or after our timezone?"
- I DON'T FUCKING KNOW, I JUST TOLD YOU MY TIMEZONE, DO YOU EVEN FUCKING KNOW YOUR TIMEZONE?!?!?!? IF YOU CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO LOOK UP YOUR FUCKING TIMEZONE I SURE AS HELL AM NOT!!!2 -
I'm in highschool learning to code, but I already realize that a programmers biggest enemy is TIME! I don't have time do the projects and learn the stuff I want to fucking learn! Because of God Damm School!!3
-
Me: "ok let's have a look at this code I have to review ..."
try
{
* Some random unreadable overcomplicated shit code *
}
catch (Exception e)
{
// Useful for debug
}
😓
In which God forsaken crazy alternative universe, a "catch all" block that swallows the exception and does nothing else is even slightly close to the concept of "useful for debug"3 -
Don't refractor for fun!
An anecdote from my previous company. A developer had written a shitty java console app for fetching stock prices. About 3000 LOC. just one java GOD class. So, when me and my friend looked at it, we were amazed how that code works with all that if conditions spanning 100LOC. so. My dear friend underestimated the complexity. Since it just fetches stock price and puts in database right. I can write it in few days and much better one. So, he started writing code in an OO way. Three days later I see he still working on it. Having a glimpse at code. The app is now Object oriented shitty and ugly.
Guess what new code never goes in prod too.
Learning
Don't underestimate complexity of app.
Be empathic about fellow developer. Don't think he has written a shitty code. Think why he had to do so.
Don't work on refractors if there is no one to guide you.3 -
Meh. FFS. Thats how this shit starts.
Get a call to say 2018 Bank Holidays not showing on legacy web calendar.
/me looks for bank holiday code in PHP file ..... no dice.
/me finds a dBase table that holds all Bank Holiday info. Not ideal, but I can work with that.
Enter all Bank Holidaya into dBase. Sit back, relax, wait for page to reload to show me Banks .... no dice.
Huh??
Read code more closely ......
Included file (inline, half way through PROCEDURAL FILE FFS) and notice that the linked file has all Banks hand formatted into Calendar events, and minified.
If I ever meet the old dev in the street, so help me god. 🤬2 -
Nobody wants to maintain XSLT mappings. Being a developer, even I don't want to. So what do we do? We parse the XSLT using JAVA code in a horrible attempt create an excel with mappings. God damn it!!1
-
Me: Ok i could do this in a litt--- wtf, this code is a god damn abomination ... I could just sort of do the thing and leave this or ...
Also Me: Fuck down the rabbit hole I go to make this a better place than when I found it....
-sigh-
Later Me: God damn why I do dis....2 -
do you guys also dream about code or is that just my brain? i swear to god, if i see something awful at work i dream of a way to fix it7
-
My boss writes code like this:
def someFunction (someArg: String) = ...
Who does that?! A space? Da fuck?! And it's all over the code base. Whenever another dev touches any of his stuff, we correct it:
def someFunction(someArg: String) = ...
The way god intended it!8 -
Fuck my video game addiction. I really fucking want to code, but I've got like 3 games in which I need to progress, or I can't continue playing with my friends, bcs of the skill difference. Meanwhile my pi is sitting there just waiting to get tinkered with. Could somebody give me a god damn tip on how to get rid of this.7
-
I wanted to deploy the code of the project I'm working on on the test server to try something.
The code wasn't deployed because the automatic quality inspector detected some methods used are deprecated. So I check the documentation of the methods used. The method is a pass-by to avoid some errors launched by the automatic quality inspector.
So the quality inspector stopped my deployment because I used something that should stop the quality inspector provoking errors.
god dammit5 -
How can code refactor be so stressfull that even doin' it on YOUR OWN CODE looks like taking a slow walk over broken glass? More than never: GOD BLESS THOSE WHO DAILY DEAL WITH LEGACY CODE
-
.Net Dev here with a degree in graphic design. Almost 9 months into my first dev job, 85% of it has been dealing with god damn webforms. Unfortunately, sometimes it doesn't play too nice with a bootstrap / jQuery especially with code behind and when you have post backs. I never thought I would say this but fuck the front end lol at least when it come to this dumpster fire. At least I'm learning a lot but damn I can't wait to get back into an MVC project or service work.1
-
One of my colleague ask me to review other team's code. I saw the code. It's terrible. Importing data from text file based on line break count and 52 'if else's conditions in one function and overall 173 'if else' conditions in one controller class. Fuck after seeing that code, I realize people in my project is more better than others. Thank God.
-
Best tool: The one that has proper documentation.
Worst tool: The one that doesn't have proper documentation.
God, so much times did I have to waste time trying to read the source code myself, trying to figure out what the fuck was going on because the developer didn't take 2 seconds to document what I had to do...
Or commands that I had to use that exist but I only found out about because I read the source code :|1 -
We have decent linting on our codebase which covers off code quality and style.
We also have a developer who insists on making code reviews about formatting and spacing rather than functionality even tho we've tried in multiple ways to say:
- our linting covers it, if that's happy we should be (and the rest of the team is)
- it's a waste of time doing it
- it wastes the time of the team reading it
- the noise it generates makes it hard to see any legit comments
I swear to god if I see another comment saying "new line" i will scream. -
I want to slap the previous devs on my team. Not the current ones, the previous once.
I don't need a comment on every. single. line. of. code
//verify thingies
if(thingies != null && thingies.count != 0) {
Like my god, i can read the if statement to know what it's doing, goddamn.
Comments should only be used when doing something that might not be immediately obvious to the next dev looking at the code.8 -
Silent errors in web-y tech like html, jsp, javascript , etc can fuck right off. I wish they'd silently kill me instead and end my fucking misery.
On the other hand maybe I just need to git God and just write perfect code the 1st time the way an old prof of mine recommended as the best way. Just draw 2 circles and then the fucking owl right? -
!rant
So I'm making the system for my University's cafeteria.
Pretty ez and all but THIS FUCKING PAGE, THIS GOD FORSAKEN PAGE JUST BUGS.
I'll elaborate: Basically I have a bunch of pages that bring up some pie charts and a .pdf of earnings, all of them work and they are pretty much cookie cutter so I can re-use the code. But this random one, with the same code, repeats the same entry a couple of times.
And by god have I tried to change every variable, code format and minimal shit. Still doesn't budge.
Guess I'll have a cheeky ciggy break and try to fix it later when I'm not steaming my noggin
Ps: yeah yeah, shitty jpg quality but its the "Busca Unidade" field that just cloned itself 7 more times underneath
-
OK... so just spent 3 hours doing the Code Sprint.... 1.9/7 correctly answered... these were "Easy".
Well this is how I feel now....
btw any tips how to do these, seems like you have to be a real God to complete all of these? within just a few days. Do you really need to be able to do this at a tech company?
-
God, overhauling an entire application is tiring. Having to swim through mountains of spaghetti code is strenuous. I'm going to die before I ever finish >_<3
-
Oh god..
Starts using Laravel Framework
Code some lines
Everything works fine now
*Let see what happens if I delete this*
Error
Naturally
*Redo delete*
Run *OK, now it should work like before*
Error
Why??3 -
That feeling when you find the god damn bug after 2 hours.. however, it made me better understand my code, so thank you tiny bug❤
-
Oh god why!?
Somehow I decided that it would be nice to have a proper spell&grammar checker in VS Code for me and my friends to write our reports in Latex with.
Decided I wanted multiple language support, so I turned to language tool.
GOD is this thing slow as a very unmotivated snail!
3s to process 9 phrases!? And then add one second to pack the results in a JSON string!? An option that I'm still very grateful exists, but why the fuck would you disallow line-by-line processing, which you expressly recommend for IDEs, and which cuts processing time by 30%, when JSON output is asked!?
Well, serves me right for thinking for even a second that a Java program could have decent performance...
This whole thing is starting to look like it's not gonna be nearly as fun ss I anticipated it to be.2 -
1. Being fast doesn't meant your smart.
2. Think thrice before you apply your idea, saves not only time but your keystrokes.
3. Google is just the last resort, if you can crack it yourself there is nothing better.
4. Cleanliness is Godliness, not that believe in God but if I see you writing shit and messed up code then you gotta do it again.
5. Useless code is important, it will help you get lost later when you come back.
And most importantly, LISTEN.4 -
So this is my first job at a corporate company and my God I need to apply for permission and wait for it for so long just to install common freewares for dev like VS Code. Is this normal? Really I am pissed when requirements pop up and I get stalled for over a week.12
-
Colleague says some of my code sucks, says he's gonna rewrite and improve it.
After he finish his work, I look in his new written code:
F*ckload of unused methods and classes,
some usings of deprecated API calls...
god. It's okay, if you want to help and improve code (my code wasn't the best, I admit)... but when you do, do it the fuck right. -
#Smoke_and_Coffee
Why everyone I told that I have an addition on Coffee said so you are a smoker
Ooh God no I'm not a smoker, I'm just a programmer that write 2 lines on code and drink a cup of coffee.4 -
As someone who isn't very good at actual design or implementing design very well, I usually have to start with a template for admin dashboards on my sites. Which means I have to deal with bootstrap. I've come to life with that fact. But what I can't stand is getting these templates and the HTML is so bad, all I see are flying v's! Don't these people know that you don't need 12 levels of divs? And for fuck's sake, run your code through HTMLTidy! Thank God I didn't pay money for this one.
-
My thought process..
a compiler found a type error, oh thank god i was not using python or even worse js. this could have been hard debug error, type do matter huh!. what if compiler was even strict that could have found more error and i could really write even safe code. Ohh may be i should learn/finish Rust
** suddenly conscious slaps in the face**
first finish one project, STOP language hopping ..
Oh! right!1 -
I learnt to code in python when I was 8.
I learnt the very basics and moved on to other languages.
My first creation was a kind of text based nuclear missile silo operator simulator.
It was mostly just a shit ton of if statements, God I wish I knew about switches. You just kind of input commands like 'open doors','set co-ords ##:##' and 'launch missile ##' and a dozen other little things like that. Was a fun project. -
I have been slack in the past with testing, in the last 2 months I have got better and better at sticking to TDD. Now I am Addicted! There is a God like feeling that comes with having written bullet proof testable code.
Anyone who thinks it's a waste of time or is putting it off just do it and stick to it, you will become a better programmer and write better code. -
Recently took over a freelance project to update an existing app, and this thing is full of comments like "TODO: Remove This" with no context. So hard to work with.
For the love of God, add some context to your comments. Especially if someone else is going to be seeing your code. -
So, the main system we develop and "maintain" is a horrible monolithic huge project that has the majority of the code in one and only one god class.
On top of that, all the main logic is implemented directly in the "main" method (yes, the "public static void main"). Now every time you have to create a method to use it in the main logic, it has to be static!
God, I hate to even look at this class, let alone touch it, I feel dirty, like I'm touching a pile of shit. -
I'm currently migrating one of the companies services from technology A to an B based solution...
Today I had to remotly troubleshoot an error occuring somewhere on our client's backend application, that wans't enabling us to register any given webhook to our endpoints...
We finally gave in and looked up the data packets using a sniffer only to find that the only difference was that in the A technology project our staff ended up returning a Status Code plus the respective Reason Phrase, in our newest version we only send the HTTP Status Code... Guess who wasn't aware of HTTP 1.1 RFC consideres the Reason Phrase optional and an unecessary overhead??? God dammit... In simple terms...
1 -
The original idea of the starter lines goes to someone here like over a year ago or something. Found this piece while cleaning my desk and thought you would appreciate it.
Rubber duck
What the fuck
Why didn't you tell
This god awful smell
Of this spaghetti code
I guess you reap
What you sow
Rubber duck
What the fuck
I'm out of luck -
My code is in Acceptance Testing phase, and I got a defect reported.
I tried to redo the same without changing the code, it works for me
god dammit -
Writing code at work be like:
Hmm okay so if I call this facade looking for an order with a code, and the order can't be found, it will return null. Thank God this bit of code is documented...
Ten minutes later
Why is this not throwing an exception when I pass invalid parameters in...?
Two minutes later
Oh, so this never returns null. If the order isn't found, it returns an empty DTO. Fucking docs.
Seriously, the only thing worse than no documentation is documentation that lies. And that's all I get for my first project at the company, which I am having to do alone. Either no docs, or misleading docs. -
Imagine filling 50 files full of garbage unreadable code to build what is essentially a cron job microservice...
Oh we have a console program
then a module to pull in all the services
then a manager to manage the actual jobs
then if they fail it all cascades back up
My god, this isn't NASA.
The amount of overengineering I have seen in the past few hours is insane.
Keep It Simple, Stupid!!!2 -
I swear to god I feel like I'm getting paid to just watch my boss code. My job is more debugging and submitting the pull request for whatever the boss throws together over team viewer.2
-
If havent post a rant in a while since i started a new job a month ago. It is a pretty chill company. Not sure if that’s because i’m working remote and almost don’t have communications or…
I have to work on this project. Appearently from 2018. It’s all php and Wordpress here. I don’t have major deal against it but this project..
I have flushed down prettier things then this piece of shit code. My god. And this is live. The horror! -
Why I love to code?
1. The only thing I feel like I have control over (thanks to control loops XD).
2. Feeling like god when my code works.
3. I just love it, no reason needed, just pure love for it.1 -
Oh when you refactor the complete project structure and give for build the first time !!!
It's like you are sitting with your heart on your hand and praying to God that at least let the errors be readable(I am no genius to think I will be able to produce error free code the first time😝😝) -
!rant
I'm not sure if it's good or bad, but lately I've lost that "love" for code, not coding itself, but the code in projects.
Because most of the time the projects are inherited, there is never enough time, It's always a priority. And let's be honest, most of the time programmers don't like others code. (Is it God Complex?).
What I do notice with this "new" philosophy it is that I do not stress when I do not like some development, I ask the "bosses" if there is time to change it or if we continue with how it is. I learn that it should be done better and I continue my life5 -
Only God can refactor this code.
I wish I knew who wrote this. 😬
App.jsx is doomed, looks like the content of jquery.min.js.
4:04 sleep not found. -
My biggest dev regret is not starting earlier. I started learning how to code only 5 years ago, when I was 19. God, I wish I started earlier.
-
FOR FUCKS SAKE. I HAVE THE RIGHT URL FOR THE SQL DATABASE. WHY WON'T IT SHOW SAID DATABASE IN THE SERVLET FROM THE URL!!!! It conects to IntelliJ without any issue, so why isn't the servlet running it?
God am I really going to go to stackoverflow for help? I need sleep.1 -
Practicing some random code interview questions while not busy.
Find top N values with MaxHeap in JS
Didn’t get it right in 1st try. Something wrong with the replace function. Then started getting busy...
At the end of the day, still didnt have a chance to fix it.
God damn it! It’s me. A frontend developer can’t write MaxHeap in JavaScript 🤦♂️ -
Omg click once applications are such a royal fucking pain in my ass.
Everything has to be code signed and every manifest much match and if you change anything you better hope to the gods you can use mage and resign that shit and that it will work
Can we just like, stop using it thank you god I hate it2 -
Done and with that JS2PS convertor now need to Run that code. God Brace us.....
But first need to create types for each function and services.
FML need to complete it by this weekend1 -
I've been working for this company for year and a half. There is nice tradition of being polite with colleagues. It is so cool that nobody rants to nobody.
But for God sake! I want to fucking rant to people! I want to swear to people! I want to shout "fucking get your ass with your shitty code out of my project"!!!1 -
Reworking old java apps. Holy shit im gratefull i can use spring boot.
But this code is handsdown awfull. Every file contains more ifs than other words. upto 6 layers deep. Thank god its at least properly commented.
But seriously how did this shit ever pass any QA. All legacy apps around here are a massive pile of if statements.1 -
how bad is the collegeboard website? let's just say that after registering for an sat, firefox prompted me if i wanted to save the login credentials, with the username being my zip code and the password being my credit card cvv
like, how fucking hard is it for a national company who charges $99 per test that kids take every year to set up their fucking website properly
god damn, fuck college board
and yes, i am mad about a lot more than that one little thing
"non-profit"2 -
Maybe, instead of making a cloth, I should just make tutorials teaching people how to code the duck? Also other things? Like the chat box I have(literally a box written in html and css), the rabbit thing, the cat thing, the avatar thing.
God I have so many useless projects I can showcase.3 -
I know it will be disturbing for a few of you, but it has to be said...
I'm not sure how I need to say this, but...
but...
GOD DAMN FUCK YOU ARDUINO YOU STUPID LITTLE FUCKER WHY DOES MY CODE NOT WORK AFTER HOURS OF REASONABLE DEBUGGING FUCKING FUCK YOU IT DOESNT MAKE ANY SENSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!2 -
Look, dude, I'm a busy man. Can you please not waste 15 minutes of my FUCKING time on your misunderstanding of code I FUCKING wrote? Code I wrote, apparently wrong, based on your SHITTY naming?
Christ alive, stop getting in my god damn way. -
So a teacher supposedly promised to introduce me to "web Scripting" as he called it.
Time to learn and all he does is show me Dreamweaver and copy and paste code from anywhere you can imagine, he literally didn't know anything about code .
I thank God I realized that it was better to learn code .1 -
Was moved from frontend to backend. I am an absolute noob in java, code has no documentation, no formal training, code has cross repository dependencies and I have been assigned with a case and was asked to debug, felt like a pathetic piece of shit. One of those depressing days, but the good thing is we were moved here as an entire team and apparently everyone feels the same way 😂 which makes me feel better.
These are one of those short phase of "0 productivity" days, I wish Java god help me and let me write code with my usual speed, untill then I am going to feel miserable and bad about myself. -
Should I infastructure as code or should I not? The god damn difficulty of approaching a cloud infra modernization project… so much to potentially do, don’t even know where to start and what is or isn’t relevant in the end… gaah11
-
I wouldn't say it is the worst. But it certainly had a lot of problems.
Alice
The 3D platform with drag and drop code. You could do a lot, but God help you if you didn't have a fast computer.
The worst is that it didn't have an auto save feature back when I worked on it. (No idea if they ever patched that)
You were SOL if you worked for an hour and forgot to save anything.4 -
Urgh why do code generators write the worse fucking code! Jesus$fucking$christ$what$is$your$god$dam$problem$1
-
When I was started my journey in coding, what ever I do, I think about coding. Sleep code, eat code, dream code, dating code. Its become my usually nightmares.
Its become worst when I got stucked in coding. Ppl see me like a geek zombie.
Coding used to ruin my life.
But when my code working like charm, feel like god. I can do anything. 😂😂😂
Sometime l just love it, but most of the time I fucking hate it. -
Any profile I get an internship in for, I end up fixing angular code, even if I never took the name of JS or close in my resume ! WHY GOD ?2
-
I've just delivered the worst piece of crappy and twisted code that i've wrote in my short programming carreer(still at uni) hope god have mercy of my soul.
Was jquery mobile by the way... Fuck that shit!! -
God - this code is disgusting! Well, let me just try to change this one repo call to return an Optional...
"Hey! The app is broken! What did you do?!?!"
God dammit... -
Depends on what style means...
How I format the code: language, team/style-check rules, IDE auto format settings
How I structure my code and design programs: experience... Mainly from blowing stuff up, having to rewrite monolith code, trying to understand other people's shitty code and why they can't seem to organize it better so you don't need to be a surgeon or God to even attempt to figure out wtf it's doing and how it works... Or supposed to work. -
Literally the best feeling in the world followed by 3 fist pumps.
The feeling I am describing is that sense of accomplishment and god-mode when your working on a feature/bug and you write some code to implement it, run it, and it works flawlessly. Ahhh. -
After few weeks I got back to an Electron app. Rebuilt the thing, copied fresh binaries to a Win 10 VM, and the app doesn't even start, it instantly crashes. Literally nothing changed - libraries (and their versions) are same, source code is the same, node version is same, it was built on same machine, VM wasn't even started since then.
Tried a fresh Tux binary, and of course it runs fine.
God, I hate Windows. 😩2 -
Typescript is so fucking frustrating sometimes to deal with
The snippet above AND below do the EXACT SAME FUCKING THING. But because you double tap, it loses the fucking (not needed) type before the mapTo. If you aren't paying attention, you get this extremely fucking aggravating wall of red.
God damn it, can't this be better? RxJS is pretty fucking important, so why is this so god damned hard to just get some coherent fucking code highlighting!?
/rantover
4 -
Surely to God there is a way to write simple code on an Android 10 phone without a computer. My Moto G7 Super has 3GB RAM and 8 processors.
The UI will suck but shoot me already as I can't use a computer right now. The major problem is file access as the languages I have used are run in the cloud.
Any advice is welcome. At this point am agnostic re language.
Any suggestions?4 -
!rant
Oh god how I've missed this community
rant:
I hate people always asking me how to solve their f***ing bugs when they don't re-check their code and only have a missing argument in functions ! -
Thank God for Authy app!
Lost phone and was able to get all my 2FA accounts linked up in seconds.
That would have been a logistical nightmare given that all my account are 2fa.
I can see it now
Enter username: xyz
Enter password: abc
Enter 2fa code: dangit
Lost or recover account
Enter phone number: dangit
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