I lost a friend today😭.

He wanted to checkout my MacBook Pro, because he was thinking about buying one.

So I pulled mine out of my backpack, and turned it on.. Then windows 10 popped up!

I looked at him in shock like I just got caught watching porn. I tried to explain to him “it’s not what you think! I had to install it to use Microsoft Project!

He just looked at me in disgust, shaking his head, and walked away....

Last night I caught my girlfriend on my phone.....
Reading devRant..
I asked her what she was doing, she replied "I wanted to see what you spend all your time reading, some of this is actually pretty funny.."
❤

Looking for a bug.

Plugged headphone into my ears.

Suddenly part of code caught my attention, started debugging.

10 minutes of intense debugging, wondering why there's no music in my ear.

Realised I forgot to plug the headphone into my mobile :(

Best prank I did to a office must be that one I did when I was 7 years old:

> Sat at a schoolcomputer and explored stuff
> Found alot of network printers
> Found one called "city hall front desk"
> Created a word-document with the biggest font possible
> Wrote "Dick"
> 2000 pages of the word "dick"
> Print 2000 copies

> Did the same to a kindergarten and a "rival school"
> Never got caught because I used my teachers novell account ( the password was his name)

I miss novell

Got caught using linux terminal by school security. They took my laptop away and drove me across campus in their security carts to take me to the office.

It took a long time to explain that I wasn't maliciously hacking the school.

This is the third time I've been in trouble for tech-related activity.

On the bright side, one of the security guards said, "I'm done dealing with teenagers. Next time I won't work for a high school."

I think he's going to quit. :)

Meeting with smooth suit guy:

"So, our company has pivoted"

I hate everything about this guy, not having slept well at all, I fucking snapped:

"Pivoted? Oh wow, what a wonderfully refined word to describe that your asinine business model smacked flat into the mud, that your obtuse bubble of vague ideas popped and your childish dreams of piles of undeserved gold got caught up by the hard reality that your product does not add any tangible value -- yet you tricked your sheepish retarded investors once again to fall for a new hype-filled pitch deck? Congratulations. At least you probably snort enough coke to keep believing in yourself..."

The guy nervously wiped his nose, stuttered, and walked off looking angry and a little confused.

So it turns out, my boss is apparently the major "sheepish retarded investor" in this company.

Today I got a mail from him. I expected fire and fury, nuclear ICBMs crashing into my desk.

"Thanks for your feedback, this is why I invite you to meetings. Could you take a look at their new pitch slides and preliminary API docs for me?"

Hey everyone - tonight we performed a database upgrade and unfortunately there were a few "surprise" breaking changes to the query language we use that weren't caught during testing. Once they were discovered after the upgrade. The queries were corrected within a few minutes. You might have noticed some issues with commenting, voting, etc.

On this note, please let me know if you notice anything suspicious like errors when trying to perform normal actions, or anything at all. I appreciate any reports since it's a bit tricky for us to cover every last part of the app alone, though I think we went through most of it. Thanks and please let me know if you have any questions!

Me on Google: how to run node.js.....

Girlfriend shoulder surfing: wtf? Why do you want to run nude?

Exception caught

A friend called me up today . Here's how the conversation went
Jack :- Hey dude , my computer is lagging way too much . Do you think there's something wrong ? Like Virus ?
Me :- I don't know . What do you think might have caused that ?
Jack:- Oh , I kept my flash drive open without a cover , it might have caught some virus from the air.
Me :-

My gf caught me unguarded after she told me that she has some updates for her webpage, right after I did the last updates. Massively amused. Not! 😅

!dev

Knocked over a beer bottle with my hand and caught it mid-flight.

Felt like a fucking ninja.

No clue why I'm sharing this but goddamn that was good.

Got caught up fixing some styling today...

When I was a kid I used to play on my old Pentium computer all night after my mother sleeps. One night she caught me playing, she pushed the cabin from the table and broke it 😵. After then I tried to fix it and succeeded. Since then started learning about computers and now a back end engineer..

So was first day at new job ... Boss takes me around meeting everyone. One employee stuck editing file by typing in new records data, calls boss for help.

Boss to me: "I like to get handsy with data from time to time. "
*me smiling, watch how he copies and paste the new records*
ME to boss:"why don't you just write the script to update all the records?"
Boss:"I don't trust the automation of input. "
Me:" what about human error?"
*crowd of other employees gather around awaiting answer*
Boss:"we include margin of errors in our disclaimer to the client... "
*He hears himself*
Boss:"... and we bill by the hour why would we work faster for less money?"

*me grinning, going to remember that line next time I need extension of deadline*

Me*murmurs*:" Master has presented dobby with a sock"
*Girl in next cubicle snickers clearly caught the reference "

Going to love it here.

My work started working on an adult goods site and every once in a while I hear phrases like "Wait, go back to anal", " Can I take a look at sex toys", etc. We're all pretty professional about it, but I still get caught off guard when I hear those convos haha.

Caught myself spelling name Jason as json. Send help

The first time I decided to hack around a bit:D

One of my teachers made a quiz software, which is only used by him(his lectures are about databases), and it is highly unsecure. When I heard that it is written in C# I decided to look in it's source code. The biggest problem I ran into: this program is only available on the computers in his classroom, and he monitors the computers display. However, I successfully put it into my pendrive without getting caught.

So when I got home, I just had to use a .NET decompiler(in this case: dotPeek) to get the fully functional source code. The basic function of the program was to download a quiz from his database server, and when it was finished, grade it client-side. Than, I realized how bad it was: It contains the number of questions, the number of correct and incorrect answers.
I've just made a modified .exe, which contained really little modification(like correctAnswers=maxQuestions, incorrectAnswers=0). Everything looks the same, you just have to click over it, and everytime it will return with 100%.

And the bonus: The program connects to the database as a user with root access, and without password. I was able to log in, download(dropping was available too, but didn't try) databases(with all the answers) and so on.

Never had to use it though, it was just a sort-of experience gaining.:)

It was fun to watch my entire high school (~1200 people) freak out when I ran "net send * Big brother is watching you..." on what I found to be an insecure computer in my high school's library. Every single computer in the building displayed the pop up message. The town's IT director even showed up to figure out what happened.

I was caught, but they were more happy it wasn't a hacker, and that I discovered that the IT firm the town hired totally botched properly implementing network security, so I was let off the hook.

Useless notification..

Working on a Job Portal Application, i made notification functionality.

At least i caught this one before production

I Just caught my girlfriend Reading my "How to: C++ for Beginners" book.. i am so proud of her right now

Today I told a fellow dev to join devRant, and explained it was "like Reddit, but only for developers"

Wild manager caught us and said "Uh, just what everybody wants, some geek forum. Thank god I left that world a long time ago"

Fucker...

Do we really hate management this much?

(I'm controlling myself... just caught up with a month of Dilbert.... wish I could post more but that would be spammy...)

Alias coworker = high school classmate

This kid wore a trench coat to school every single day and I guess he had a chronic masturbation problem because the guy was caught 3 different times IN CLASS jerking off.
Most people would catch a sexual harassment / indecent exposure / public masturbation charge, but this kid was breaking all these national math competition records and was working with a local university doing research and had a 4.5+ GPA (in high school in U.S. that's possible) so the school decided to do 2 things.

1. Not punish the kid, and in fact nothing of this was ever put on any record at all.
2. Write him a note from school administrators saying that this student can leave class whenever he would like no questions asked, and that the teacher must notify the office so they could send a security guard in order for this masturbation obsessed student to literally occupy a bathroom as his jerk off chamber uninterrupted.

So if in the past 6-7 years you've been in a high caliber university studying computer science and there was a kid in a trench coat "feeding some geese" near you, you can thank my high school.

My first experience with Swift ended in me infecting myself with a virus (kinda). I wanted to create a macOS app that would listen for a global key event, catch it and then type a word.

During development I set it up to listen for ANY key event and to type "BALLS". So what happened? I compiled the code, everything looked good, I started the app and pressed a key which emitted a key event. The event was caught by my app and it typed "BALLS", just as expected. However, the typing of the word caused a NEW key event to be emitted, which the app also caught. The infinite loop was a fact. FUCK!

I tried closing down XCode but all I could see was "BALLS BALLS BALLS" everywhere. I tried everything I knew but it just kept typing "BALLS". I had to hold down my power button to make it stop.

I finally finished the app (which I named "The Balls App", I kept the word "BALLS"). I solved this issue by only listening for KeyUp and when emitting the "BALLS" word I just used KeyDown.

That was weird.

I was typing a question on DuckDuckGo and it redirected me to a similar question on Stack Overflow.

It didn't show any search results, it literally just took me to a solution on Stack Overflow.

That was interesting, but it never did that before so it caught me off guard.

My boss caught me out the other day. He asked which browser do we test on. In our documentation it's ff chrome and ie10. In reality it's not ie.

I opened ie for the first time in a long time the other day to find a crap load of bugs. Including the attached.

Israeli government hackers hacked into Kaspersky’s network in 2015 and caught Russian government hackers red-handed hacking US government hackers with the help of Kaspersky.

In other words — Russia spying on America, Israel spying on Russia and America spying on everyone.

Colleagues sharing passwords.That was a big fat NO when I was a sysadmin - and for a good reason. But now, since I'm closer to development, it feels like no one really cares about the passwords. If I tell my colleague I'll take 10 minutes more because I can't log in, he OFFERS me his credentials. And sends them over saying "in case you need it". [the next day the same colleague was complaining his account is locked out. Oh, wonders! How on Earth...!]

But seriously, password sharing is a serious problem. I would fire the person on spot if I caught him sharing his credentials! This is the 8th deadly sin! IDC if they are for non-prod. Most people reuse their passwords in multiple systems, and even non-prod envs can bring the prod down! Or worse - install a trojan.

A dude was caught fapping hard to the hot girl in our class. She cried when she found out
That dude is a creep

My wife comes to me, looks over my shoulder at my screen with devRant opened:
- Are you reading these "deviants" again?!

...for a moment I felt like being caught on watching redtube or something 😂

Caught someone testing in prod 🙃

Wtf, really??? Are they trying to liyerally KILL ME????

Got home from hospital today wth my family. Baby got sick. Wife also caught cold... Bad news. It was just me still healthy like a raddish [we have such saying].
So I got home. Started feeling somewhat funny. Sore thighs, feeling nauseaus, chilly, a bit dizzy.

10 minutes later I'm fucking trembling! It felt as of I was kicked put bare ass to -20C outside! I'm not exaggerating [probably made some typos.. Pls correct me] - i live where winters get like -35C. Everything around got like twice darker. And my lower teeth got itchy af [NOT the best feeling, trust me].

I must have caught cold too - I thought to myself, cuz I know what these sympthoms mean. I always have 'em all when I have fever. Since shivers are caused by rising fever I got my Microlife remote thermometer out of my drawer. Click, blue light, wait, beeep. 36.5C. Allright.. Maybe I got it wrong... Try again -- same result. Wife also gave a couple tries - nada. Nil. Nullpointerexception. Healthy like a pickle!

10 minutes later I couldn't stand the cold. Got under my blankets wife made some soup, tea,... I still have this analog thermometer, the one with quicksilver. Pop it into my armpit - jusyt in case. 10minutes later I take it out. It says 39,5 and rising. Try the microlife again. 36,5. WHAT THE FUCK?????????

If I weren't so fond of old-school stuff I'd be in a fucking ER now!!

Fuck you medical digital equipment made to be used at home! FUCK YOU!!

I'm pissed.

Do you folks kbow where could I get those q-silver thermometers? Just in case. They're already out of matket in my area for quite some time... For being dangerous [i give 'em that, okay?] and.... Lisen to this.... "unreliable"!

FUCK IT!

worst experience with a manager was the (female) one who got away with harassing a female employee for YEARS and thought it was ok because she thought they were friends.

She also retaliated (in ways that were hard to prove), played favorites, didn't know metrics or general business sense, couldn't do her employee's jobs but loved to tell them how they were wrong all the time, and then when she was fired, after the female coworker finally reported the ass slapping and the harassment based on disability, she went back into employee only areas with client personal information and thought taking selfies was ok (she was very quickly corrected and had to wipe her phone and memory card to ensure she hadn't been doing it when she wasn't caught, which cameras later proved she had been).

(I only sound calm. I will take a needle to her probably fake boobs and deflate them with glee if I ever see her again)

I’ve never actually had a colleague quit while I was there, buuuut, I did have a colleague disappear, here is that story:

I get hired by this colleague, seems like a nice, perfectly reasonable guy.

I’m supposed to be mentored in the codebase by him after I start.

Literally the day or day after I start, he gets a tap on the shoulder from someone in HR while he’s on the phone. He says he can’t come because he’s on the phone.

The HR woman insists, tells him to leave *everything* and he never returns.

Turns out the police were downstairs to arrest him.

He got caught up in Operation Yewtree which for those that don’t know, was the UK’s sting op on historic pedophilia cases.

MFW my manager gets arrested and the senior dev is too busy to mentor me, so I basically have to sink or swim 🤣

Focus on algorithms first and syntax last. Solve problems, then code.
If it uses power, has an I/O interface, and stores code, you can do stuff.
Dont get caught up in the little shit like specific code formatting and who's right or wrong between tabs or spaces. (It should be TABS anyway.)
Don't take shit from anyone.
Be confident not cocky.
Learn GIT as much as you can.
Don't burn out.
Get up and stretch.
Don't argue with your Operating Systems professor about why you shouldn't have to learn Linux.
Don't fall into the "I want to be a game developer" trap. Make your own games on your own time. You won't learn shit at school about it.
9/10 of the real world workforce is who you know, so don't be a dick. Those people might be the difference between Ramen noodles and steak dinner for you.
Charge market competitive rates and set an hourly rate that defines the clientele you deal with.
Don't ever, EVER, do trade or spec work. Free work don't pay the bills. Always start the clock when you're not sleeping, eating, or shitting. If you're emailing, calling, texting, or otherwise interacting with or on behalf of a client, bill them. Don't be a bitch when they decide they don't want to pay you. Get yours. Watch "Fuck You. Pay Me." at least once a month on YouTube.

Just had an email from the MD saying anyone caught streaming music will be given a disciplinary.... think it's time for a new job

I love my wife, God bless her, sent her a pdf file via email. Couple of hours later she replied with (and only) 'Can't view the PDF document'
That's it. No reason why, nothing. I was afraid to respond and ask why. "Oh..I accidentally knocked your laptop on the floor and it caught on fire, so I dumped a bucket of water on it." rolled around in my head a few times.
I get home, open the email, click on the document, opened just fine.
Me: "Um, why couldn't open the attachment?"
Wife: "Attachment? What did you do? It wouldn't open for me."
Me: "I just clicked the file. What did you do?"
Wife: "Oh. Supper is ready, help me set the table."
It was all I could do from screaming "OMG! THIS IS NOT THE FIRST ATTACHMENT I HAVE SENT YOU!!"
She made me baked chicken breasts marinated in Italian dressing and some other spices with melted cheese...big baked potato, pile of mix veggies......mmm...so all is forgiven.

Finally caught a Windows bug!

I caught my client SLASH boss SLASH project man SLASH designer SLASH "I want to make facebook but better" designing with microsoft word

That explain the calibri font in their logo

There was this annoying fucking bug flying around my head for 3 nights straight.

When I finally caught the bloodsucker I hit it so hard it opened up a spacial tear into another dimension.

Put up its head on a stick as a warning to future bugs.

Am I doing this right? 😅

So, Today was the last day of my internship.
and it was a great last day but everything was fine until.

I started my computer and for some reason it got caught up in boot. It didnt start Nautilus.

So i asked a Senior Dev for help. Nice as these Devs are, he helped me look for reasons. And we found them. My ubuntu hadnt had enough disk space to start. (On a side note there is nothing but Atom Firefox and a few files on there.) So we looked for the biggest files in the system and found them. Syslog was 40 Gb big. And if you think that is shocking behold. Because Syslog.1 was 290Gb big.

Not really a rant but a Story.

Manager: I'm so sorry to say but your collegue A has passed away yesterday afternoon. There will obviously be flowers etc and we'll try to support her family as much as we can..

Me: Oh, no. My deepest condolences. (I'm always bad at saying much in situations like this, but)

B: My gosh! So does this mean A's family also caught it??!? (Corona)

Manager: She died in a car accident.

...
Also how unfortunate. Due to the lockdown, a ton of the people use the roads as a racing track around here...

Well, just remembered a fuck up one of my friends and me did. Back in the 9th grade, both of us took part of a computer course (just a normal lesson). He got me into programming. So after half a year we "hacked" into the school server. Tbh it was quite simple. The server did a backup each week in a specific folder. The problem was, the backup file had no proper rights set. Everyone had access to it. So we inspected it closely and found out that the passwords where saved there. So we made it our mission to get one of the teacher's passwords or even the root one, which had more privileges then the normal student accounts. After about 2 days we managed to crack one of them (using a hash table available for download). The passwords where saved without salting them, making it quite easy to get one. Now we were sitting there, having access to a teacher's account. So we logged in and tried to figure out what to do next. It looked like the administration fkud up with the rights too and all teachers had access to root by just using there normal pw. Well, the Grand final is coming. We put a script into the startup of the server (which restarted at 4:30 AM each Friday). The only line that was written in it was "./$0|./$0&"

We never got caught. And it was a heck of fun ^^

Before I left corporate America, I worked with a guy who was basically the definition of 'idiot savant' sans the actual diagnosis. He was ridiculously smart, but couldn't stay on task to save his life.

Like one time we landed a project with a major client. My team was running backend, his was running mobile integration. After a month of little to no visible activity, we approached him and he just said 'oh yea, i got sidetracked'... but he wasn't working on anything else. Just found some random shinny pebble that caught his attention and he bailed on everything else.

To make matters worse, his personal hygiene was nonexistent (I don't think he's showered since either), and he LOVED writing things in super-obscure languages that even the best we had hadn't ever heard of, with nonsensical (and often totally misleading) variable names and no inline comments. Trying to put someone new on something he'd touched was like asking an English professor to translate a 10K year old tablet dug up in the middle of the desert. Just didn't work.

But... the CEO flat out refused to get rid of him for years, until virtually every other employee simultaneously turned in our two weeks.

Yesterday, my girlfriend caught a virus. There were 5+ running programs, in program files, program files x86, system32, basically everywhere. The virus modified chrome, firefox, edge (and even installed a false uc browser assuming we had one), there are many entries at startup programs, also running daemons, once you kill one of them, the others detect it and replicate their killed fellows. Tried to run a linux live usb disk for a cleanup, but the computer hibernates instead of shutdown, making modifications on disk risky.

I spent hours trying to suppress the processes, do a manual cleanup and antivirus search. It looked all cleaned up, then I reinstalled chrome, and now it switches its homepage everytime I open it, it also injects batch arguments to desktop link forum chrome (deleting it manually does not help, it comes back). I'm a linux guy, and in a few hours, I hated windows more than ever.

If anybody knows the authors, I *really* want to meet them. I promise I'm not going to punch them, but kneel down, bow my head in respect, and say "teach me master."

"This is Andy from [COMPANY_NAME]."

Hello Andy!

"we have just spoken on the phone"

Did we, that's odd because my phone never rang.

"in regard to a PHP focused Software Development role central Manchester as a PHP developer"

A php focused role dealing with php, where do i sign up?

"working for one of the U.K.s most well established and fastest growing international retailers with a turnover of £500 million in profit in 2016 and are continuously growing year on year, however I couldn’t reach you."

I thought you said we had just spoken?

"I’ve looked over an old CV of yours and feel the position fits well with your experience and I’m keen to discuss these roles further with yourself and find out your situation."

"Please can you call me ASAP on the details below or let me know a good time to talk."

Wait, didn't we just speak?

A colleague approached me today and said - "Why are we using Linux? Windows server is clearly better. We need to migrate our infrastructure"

I'm generally not someone who gets too caught up in opinion - but shut the fuck up. There is no way we're going to adopt Windows server because it has a GUI and you're too shit to learn how to use a console.

I'm home sick for 4 days now and I'm starting to become paranoid about being replaced because I caught one front end dev watching Spring Boot videos on Friday.

I'm the only one who works with it there.

Not feeling well.

Just received an email from Apple ID noreplyappleidaccountlocked.case4125@trustedsender.company that said my apple ID is locked. I must send my personal details to unlock them.

I wonder how many people got caught by it :(

So I had finished my work early in class and asked the teacher if I could do something on my laptop for the remaining half an hour.

I take out my laptop and immediately people start asking if I'm hacking.

3 people come and sit next to me and ask what every line of code means that I write. (I think they got underwhelmed real fast because I was debugging).

The teacher then comes into the room and asks what I was doing and I said just working on an app project. She explains to me that it is illegal for me to be hacking and I could get into serious trouble if I am caught. I facepalm and she says your disturbing everyone else get off of your laptop and read a book.

I left that class thinking is she even qualified, what is she thinking. Are you teachers the same.

When you get caught up in code and forget you put food in the microwave :/

Someone is caught while testing on prod.

!dev
I'm a dumbass and caught the falling bowl of boiling cheddar broccoli soup with my residual limb, which means that my elbow is burnt and makes typing a major pain in the ass because of the damage.

I also have to grade 5 assignment groups of roughly 30 submissions and leave feedback.

Typing hurts and I regret life at the moment.

And I'm still on call for my primary job.

Please send jokes to make me feel better.

I recently had to explain to my girlfriend why I was searching for rubber ducks on Amazon.

She doesn't get it. I swear I haven't caught another weird addiction! 😨 🐤

Caught myself spelling name Jason as json. Send help

--------------------

I'm 4 days into my new job, and so far I am absolutely loving it. Here's my setup. Yes, they gave me 3 monitors plus a laptop, so my setup has 5 screens! Now I can die happy :D

Definitely worth noting as well, since it caught me by surprise - the company-supplied laptop is a powerhouse. High-end i7 CPU, mid-to-high-end NVIDIA GPU, tons of ports, 1TB HD, 4K display, and 48 GB RAM. Yes, 48 GB. I am truly blessed, starting off my career with this. ^_^

Using a copyrighted image on a website not knowing it was copyrighted. That was stupid and humbling. So caught up in the roots lost sight of the leaves.

Lesson learned: Assume nothing, question everything.

Someone having fun in my society. Hope they don't caught in CCTV 😅

Does anyone else experience this?

One of my co-workers regularly breaks his Dev. Environment [on purpose]. I know it’s on purpose because he’s been seen by others doing it and caught out several times.

He then plays dumb and pretends he doesn’t know why it’s broken, so he can sit there reading the web/personal emails and eating, doing no work.

This really pisses me off.

So I have that custom-made wifi router I've built. And it uses a USB wifi adapter with AC (wifi5) capability - the fastest one I could find in AliExpress.

I set it up a while ago - the internet access works fine, although speeds are somewhat sluggish. But hey, what to expect from a cheapo on Ali! Not to mention it's USB, not a PCIe...

A few days ago I ran a few speedtest.net tests with my actual AC router and the one I've built. Results were so different I wanted to cry :( some pathetic 23Mbps with my custom router :(

This evening I had some time on my hands and finally decided to have an umpteenth look.

nmcli d wifi
this is what caught my eye first. The RATE column listed my custom router as 54Mbps, whereas the actual router had 195Mbps.

I have reviewed the hostapd configuration sooo many times - this time nothing caught my eye as well.

Googling did not give anything obvious as well.

What do we do next? Yes, that's right - enable debug and read the logs.

> VHT (IEEE 802.11ac) with WPA/WPA2 requires CCMP/GCMP to be enabled, disabling VHT capabilities

This is one of the lines at the top of the log. Waaaaiiitttt.. VHT is something I definitely want with ac -- why does it disable that??? Sounds like a configuration fuckup rather than the HW limitation! And config fuckups CAN be fixed!

Turns out, an innocently looking
`wpa_pairwise=TKIP`
change into
`wpa_pairwise=TKIP CCMP`

made a world of a difference!

:wq
!hostapd
connect to the hostapd hotspot and run that iperf3 test again, and... Oh my. Oh boi! My pants fell off -- the speed increased >3x times!

A quick speedtest.net test deems my custom router's download speeds hardly any worse than the speeds obtained using my LInksys!!

The moral of the story: no matter how innocent some configurations look, they might make a huge difference. And RTFL [read the fucking logs]

In the pic -- left - my actual router, right - my custom-built router with a USB wifi adapter. Not too shabby!

I used to do audits for private companies with a team. Most of them where black box audits and we were allowed to physically manipulate certain machines in and around the building, as long as we could get to them unnoticed.

Usually when doing such jobs, you get a contract signed by the CEO or the head of security stating that if you're caught, and your actions were within the scope of the audit, no legal action will be taken against you.

There was this one time a company hired us to test their badge system, and our main objective was to scrape the data on the smartcards with a skimmer on the scanner at the front of the building.

It's easy to get to as it's outside and almost everyone has to scan their card there in order to enter the building. They used ISO 7816 cards so we didn't even really need specified tools or hardware.

Now, we get assigned this task. Seems easy enough. We receive the "Stay-out-of-jail"-contract signed by the CEO for Company xyz. We head to the address stated on the contract, place the skimmer etc etc all good.

One of our team gets caught fetching the data from the skimmer a week later (it had to be physically removed). Turns out: wrong Building, wrong company. This was a kind of "building park" (don't really know how to say it in English) where all the buildings looked very similar. The only difference between them was the streetnumber, painted on them in big. They gave us the wrong address.

I still have nightmares about this from time to time. In the end, because the collected data was never used and we could somewhat justify our actions because we had that contract and we had the calls and mails with the CEO of xyz. It never came to a lawsuit. We were, and still are pretty sure though that the CEO of xyz himself was very interesed in the data of that other company and sent us out to the wrong building on purpose.
I don't really know what his plan after that would have been though. We don't just give the data to anyone. We show them how they can protect it better and then we erase everything. They don't actually get to see the data.

I quit doing audits some time ago. It's very stressful and I felt like I either had no spare time at all (when having an active assignment) or had nothing but spare time (when not on an assignment). The pay also wasn't that great.

But some people just really are polished turds.

Shit I'm glad I caught that typo (it's meant to be "add monitor")

Overheard a conversation between programmers:

.... Your dirty hack finally caught up with you!
.. it is responsible for bug A, B , .. E ... F..

That "temp" code was not touched in years.

I’ve realized that programming made me so much better at math!

Although I’ve caught myself writing “int x” once in the notebook.

I worked with a sales guy once who would randomly come into my office and look out the window. Our entire office was Windows. There was a rumor that he was checking to see if his car was repossessed yet. As he had been caught selling knives over the phone in his lunch break half a dozen times.

When he came into my office he did not say a word or make eye contact. Just walk in. Look out the window. And walk out. Man that guy was weird.

While working in Unity i caught this "action" shot of a ragdoll chicken.. Then i couldn't resist...

I don't know if you guys caught this but everyone's binary scores are negative. The first bit is 1.

Yay

Caught cold badly.
The worst part is that must finish the android project so I don't even have time for sleep.
I can't concentrate 😭

Caught a nice pair with the algorithm today...

Here's hoping your mornings were all something a little more in-between!

I am always caught in the middle of Nerf gunfights as my colleagues love shooting at each other all around the clock.
And I hate it so much that I decided to remove all ammo from the battlefield.
No ammo, no gunfights. Does that make sense?

Gaddammit. My night was going great. Skimming a Dice article, my eyes caught the following: "...to be considered, a language must be Turning complete..."

It's like fingernails on a chalkboard.

Turing complete, motherfuckers, get it right.

So the school I visit blocks TeamViewer in their network for the reason that you could bring in malicious stuff.
They happily allow USB sticks though so that doesn't seem right.
Whatever, I used AnyDesk to get stuff from my PC at home (and I never got caught, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to ever use a school's computer again).

Sometimes I get so caught up questioning myself how to *architect* the code, that it takes me forever to do the actual coding.

Anyone else ever do this?

Caught someone testing in production on my way home the other day....

when your working for Microsoft and get caught Googleing an error code instead of Binging it

I feel lonely on my way back to home. I am a bit depressed while listening to the song "Alone" by Alan Walker. Because I code alone all day and I am single. There is a shop in my neighbourhood. It has its light turned on this night, perhaps just to increase its exposure. But, there is something so shiny that caught my attention. It is a smiling duck. I don't know what the duck is doing right there. I havent seen it before. But the shop is closed now.
At this moment, I realize it could be my friend when I don't have a friend.

First time working remote.

My manager sent us all remote. I am a student in apprenticeship with a school doing remote work too.

I caught a slight diharrea, doing some C in the WC.

Is this distubing if I find myself more productive on the toilet ? xD

I just went to another local more expensive cafe (or bar or night club for those who are more pedantic than drunk - or sober for that matter - me). Mainly with the idea of getting a girl that I've caught my eye on home. Which of course miserably failed.

At least I've got her Facebook account. Maybe I'll be able to impress her with my about 600 followers there.. not that that really matters, but it's a number, right.

And I've asked to the bartender there for some dihydrogen monoxide (let that sink in for a minute.. 2 hydrogens, one oxide). The guy didn't know what I was asking for, and didn't quite appreciate it. If only he knew...

I bet he'd be one of those people who'd call the local radio station over the dangerous dihydrogen monoxide that's poisoning the water system 🙃

Just a moral story.

It's been a few years I've been using Linux for deployments.

And currently I'm working on a project that has Win on the Server so I'm working on the necessary installations and configurations and I caught myself actually reading everything in the installation and configurations dialogs. And I'm having this urge just to click next and get it overwith.

But thank you Penguin almighty for thee hath introduced patience and knowledge into mine soul. Or else...

... I would've fucked the whole system by a click lol

So, I was in the middle of a rant about how disorganized maintenance is this weekend, but husband said he might have to go to the ER for a headache that got worse after he passed out in formation and no one caught him.

Suddenly, I don't give a fuck about work. I want to be on a plane to him to be there in case the ibuprofen doesn't work and it's more serious than he thinks. He's less than a week from graduation. I just need him to come home so I can take care of him.

Quite recently I received an email from a recruiter who first claimed that they had seen my resume, told me I may be a great fit for a job of one of their clients, and then proceeded to list the job description. That's typical, but what caught my eye was the fact that the first requirement he mentioned was 7+ years experience with Java. If he had actually read my resume, he probably would've seen that not only do I not have any experience with Java, but that I am a 20-year-old who made damn sure to put on my resume that I only have 2 years of experience in total...

Another "prank" that I did at my school when I was 13:

Changed the password for the admin user with "net user *" and took control over alot of PC's in my school. I used that power to install keyloggers and then got alot of passwords for popular social networks that was popular that that time.

Always fun to upload picture ultrasound picture and write something, their parents would always go crazy.

And again, never got caught

(I starting to realize that I am a real asshole)

Weirdest coworker...I once recommended a guy I knew from college who was a great coder, but he always came to work dressed in his pajamas and such. On top of that he caped all the time and I caught him weighing drugs in the bathroom. But because I recommended him I couldn't very well call him out on it.

COBOL is something I use at work. Typically, you see IF blocks like this

IF condition
Stuff
END-IF.

But the END-IF part if actually optional. You can just use a period and it does the same thing.

IF condition
Stuff.

Many headaches if not caught when reading.

School's windows installations had the UAC set to lowest.
Anyone could install malware or fiddle with important settings.

Oh by the way, the same school who's gData found it funny to go through my USB drive and delete all executables and all my code because it was "possibly malicious".

Started installing random crap and messing with people in retaliation.
Was fun.
Until I got caught.
Good thing I compiled a list of security flaws earlier on.

From that day on, everytime I messed up, I sold them two security vulnerabilites to let me off the hook.
These included access to all kinds of drives in the windows network, accessing other PCs desktop, literally uninstalling random printers from the network etc..

Fun time.

When you debug for 2 hours. Due to a logic error. You go through every line. It all makes sense. You find a semicolon after an if statement... Shouldn't the compiler have caught that?

So just caught two colleagues playing quake arena. Once the boss has a day off...
Of course i will join them now! Happy friday everyone 😄

Well, that caught me unexpected.

Finally completely caught up on Silicon Valley. Now what...

Just in case you thought you and your tech job were weird I give you:

Herpetologist: I caught a turtle here in Costa Rica.
Camera man: Cool. What kind is it?
H: this is the white eared red footed mud guppy. See what's interesting is that it has white sides of its face. And red feet. And lives in Costa Rica. In the mud. It is not a guppy though. Guppies are fish.
C: Cool and why is it important?
H: It's a white eared red footed mud guppy.
C: what does it do?
H: It's a turtle.
C: yeah but is it endangered? Venomous?
H: Nope. Just a regular old turtle.
C: so you just ran 50 miles and dove in to a random body of water that probably contained malaria and herpes to catch a regular turtle.
H: well it's not a regular turtle
C:(glares) it isn't?
H: it is. But it's a white eared red footed mud guppy.
C: so why did you catch it?
H: I like turtles.

So look at it this way: you could be the camera man.

My build has been lagging behind due to the 8 year old mobo, so I grabbed one with a newer chipset that was a bit discounted and oh jeez the swag that comes with it.

Who is the target audience here? 12 year olds who build their own pcs? This literally makes me - albeit marginally - less likely to buy Asus things in the future. Even teenage me wouldn't want to be caught dead flashing this stuff.

And yes, the mobo itself is rgb. I've literally stopped trying to avoid it since it would put an unreasonable limit on your options with how common it is.

A company contacted me about their custom ticket system not working

Then after asking them couple things they just wanted me to look at emails they found stacked and lost in the ticket system archive:

One clients ticket somehow got caught in between updates and hes been answering the auto close notification (each ~3 days because it never got closed) of the system, with ranging from "yes, thank you, I have solved the issue" escalating to "why dont you leave me alone, I have told you, I have fixed it, please stop", poor guy 🤣

MacOS caught copying Windows.

Just over heard, Dev A was reviewing another team's code ...
Senior Dev A: "I don't understand this teams code. I hate WebAPI. Wish we could use X."
Senior Dev B: "Why can't we use X?"
Senior Dev A: "It's frowned upon."
Senior Dev B: "By whom?"
- couple of seconds of silence -
Senior Dev A: "X is not a Microsoft technology"
- few more seconds of awkward silence -
Senior Dev A: "X is magnitudes slower than WebAPI anyway."
Senior Dev C: "What? How much slower?"
- caught off guard..didn't know Senior Dev C didn't have his headphones on -
Senior Dev A: "Um...I don't know, that is what you told me."
Senior Dev C: "I never said that. I've never used X. I prefer WebAPI anyway, but both WebAPI and X use REST based protocols, I doubt X is magnitudes slower. Actually, I think you told me WebAPI was slower."
Senior Dev A: "Different paradigm."
- second or two of silence -
Senior Dev B: "What?"
Senior Dev A: "Hey, did you see on twitter ..."

Have no idea where he thought that conversation was going. Maybe he was hoping the other devs would dog-pile/attack the code. Pretty funny it backfired. His face when Dev C said 'I never said that' was priceless. Like "Oh -bleep- ..how do I lie out of this one? ...quick, distract with random words or a twitter post"

anyone else being caught up in GDPR tasks lately? we are having a huge cookie banner debate at work lately and temper has been running high because there are still some insecurities amongst the devs about the technical requirements.

Quirks of.... PHP 😂😂😂😂

It's just a quirky language, you either love it or you hate it, or you hate it because you caught the bandwagon in town.

Weirdest quirk though, would have to be function naming conventions and order of arguments.

Shit be crazy at times but you get used to it.

Caught a co-worker's gigantic fuck up today – dude totally wiped important code off master with a terrible git rebase + git push.

Gave him the nicest earful I could muster, but I think this is one of those times where I'm allowed to be royally pissed.

So yesterday there was an interesting news story in my country. A man was fined for posession of two pictures containing pornographic depictions of children.
Now that's all great. The interesting part, however, is how the man was caught.
A tip was given from foreign agencies to the law enforcement of my country that the man was storing the pictures on his OneDrive. Not sharing them or anything, simply storing them there.
How the FUCK did the know? Do they monitor everything you put in a fucking private cloud repository? I've never used OneDrive, and now I'll make sure to never use it in the future. Fucking spyware.

Can we all just have a moment of silence for BASIC...

Got caught in a YouTube spiral watching nostalgia need and never realised how big and important BASIC was when it came to home PC's (I'm 21 so have no actual experience with said PC's)...

Also that leads me to the question as to why BASIC isn't still used?

It's actually a really legible language ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

A coworker has just finished setting up his new linux installation after removing windows when windows 10 was released. Caught him out with fakewindowsupdate.com, he thought microsoft was forcing it.

Humph. Just remembered something pretty cool. Last year I had a great math teacher and tech teacher. My class on the other hand: not great except my friends. We were being taught c++ in tech class and man were these kids the laziest i've ever seen. Just creeping up behind me and copying the code. Tech teacher walks up and opens up stack overflow on the kid's pc and walks away. Later during math class our teacher overhears kids talking about pokemon go. She then gets really excited and talks about how fun ar is to code and asks if any of the kids need c++ help. Turns out she had quit a dev position to become a teacher and give back to the community. She left halfway through the schoolyear because she was pregnant though. Needless to say most of my class caught the coding bug and it was thanks to both those teachers. The math teacher came back at the beginning of the year but then I moved back to the USA.

Starting to realize I turn into AlexDeLarge when I play a few video games. (I'm not a hardcore gamer, just play the occasional fps or sports games.)

I caught myself yelling "I hope your fucking family falls into a pit of aids infected blood and they fucking drown in it you camping piece of shit" while I was playing PUBG today. Oops lol

I've been writing documentation and I've already caught myself pressing ctrl + space a few times to try and get Word to autocomplete a long word for me.

I recently found a ridiculous edge case that no test case caught and is very hard to debug and fix.
Then, I was assigned to find and fix it.
FML

You know what's better then the Twilight love story (or any love story for that matter)?

The contract between an Indian client and an Indian Vendor. It's the perfect marriage!

Both hate each other, can't stop fucking each other, one pays money to the other and the other gives head to one, the underlings are always caught between who should be followed and both of them DONT LEAVE EACH OTHER ALONE!

happy married life, buggers.

You know something is ABSOLUTELY NOT RIGHT when you see this code.

Even more when you notice the parameter is not being used at all!

Holy crap, it is a web api deployed in production. Imagine it being called!

I think I know now where "Pet project" got its name from: 1) Most of us would rather play with it all day instead of going to work. 2) As it grow bigger, eventually you'll have to shed out a couple bucks for it, and.. 3) Your PM would be FURIOUS if he caught you playing with it at the office.

devRant has nearly caught up to my 'reddit addiction.

Caught up in a deathmarch project with buzzword driven, childish architects who treat devs like insects and brag about their non existant experience and achievements while imposing completely idiotic requirements and unrealistic milestones. I feel shit right now.

When you're at the white house and you're wearing a Trump campaign badge -

You're a Trump supporter

When you're at the white house and you're wearing a Hillary Clinton campaign shirt -

You're a traitor

When you're at the white house and you're caught coding scratch games -

You're a Russian Hacker
-----------------------------------------------------------
America declares a state of emergency

Hit a snag with Grommet UI library. Fired an issue and Alan Souza, the creator, replied in just two minutes. He also caught me typing to Slack, told me that he'd already seen my issue, apologised and promised to fix this.

That's what I call "great support".

I'm on this fair and there are suits walking almost everywhere!

Even in the "Tech" area.

Like 'a-bit-to-confident' ducks with their heads up in the cloud exposing their throat while walking right into my sharp blade. Inexorable stumbling headless right over the edge of the next bridge, hitting the rails with their rubies. Helpless, waiting to get caught by the next hype-train.

*sigh*

So in Germany we have something like 'cooperative study'. You are employed in a company and study 'normal' at a university. This is in 3 month phases, i.e. 3 months working, 3 months studying.

At the moment I'm working and there is a colleauge, that seems to have no high confidence in my programming skills.
Today I saw parts of his NodeJS code and I thought I'm going crazy.
No comments, no real usage of callbacks or at least promises and I dont want to talk about naming of the variables.
I caught myself arguing with this guy too often and always thought I'm the stupid one, that doesn't understand him.
But I'm starting to think, He is the one that is hard to understand.

How ever, I stay confident and also keep a nice tone (also help as much as I can) and sometimes we also have the same thoughts in some topicd. It's not that bad, but sometimes I feel underestimated.

But hey, so it's a bigger surprise if I'm presenting my results and show them what I'm able to do 👍🏻

Day 3 : without seeing a monitor and programming.
I caught an eye infection and stopped my world and I could literally do nothing but sit tight. I have unfinished tasks but health is imprortant.

I find it hilarious the total misconception of hacking that the general public has. I tell people I know cyber security (Not as much as a lot of people around here) but it is a hobby of mine and I find it very useful/interesting.

But I can't stop but laugh when someone is like, can you get all the text messages my bf receives?

Can you hack this for me can you back that?

C'mon even if I knew how to do that without being caught you think I would even admit that to you. Do hackers just walk around with an index card pasted to their forehead of their skill? It's not even slightly reasonable to think this lol even for someone who doesn't know about the field

That innocent face we show to clients when a known bug caught by client in the production.

Hollywood vs RealLife

I've had a phone's charging port melt on me, a charger just give up and barely give any current, and now my charger overheated and almost caught on fire and my room smells like burnt plastic... I have great luck with charging phones

Seriously, why are so many companies caught up with if there developers working from home or not? Maybe it's where I'm at, but my last boss said ...

" I know you don't have any problem making deadlines and your a good worker, but you still need to come to the office in order to have face to face interaction."

Me: "This is the first face to face conversation I've had with someone in over a week."

Boss: (shrugs)"our goal is to build an office friendly environment where people will enjoy coming into the office"

Me: in my head "your an idiot"... Out loud "Ok"
...

In reality my custom built machine is better than yours, and I'm more productive in my Sealy Posturpedic chair and pajamas than your wack office chair with you popping your head out of your office every couple hours to "manage" me when you haven't written code in years and i have to teach you things that you bring to your boss to make yourself look smart.

I'm freaking out. The snack bar is shown in every non iOS device...
On iOS the error never get caught 😖 and the try/catch won't work too.

I've been eyeing Rust for quite a while and it definitely caught my curiosity, specially after the SO survey. Now I want to learn Rust but I normally need to work on a project in order to actually learn and keep myself motivated, yet I have no idea what to start, any ideas?

So I agree with some arguments against using dark themes but only because they all seem to be about white text on black, but I would never use that as a dark theme... (who would?) Dark shades are where it's at! Take devRant itself as an example.

I had a hockey accident where the hockey stick hook caught me in the eye and among many other things, tore my iris to the point that the doctors couldn't stitch it (something about cutting being reparable but tearing not :/ )

Luckily with some exercises, it healed a lot in its own but still let's in about double the light it should. Since then, black on white for more than a few hours will, without fail, give me a migraine. But then so would white on black, too much light allowed in means that white on black give an almost blurry effect on the characters. Hence, colour shades for the win :D

Just my 2 cents ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

>be me, a student taking Discrete Math and probability
>Professor really loves hearthstone, gives out a problem set that is hearthstone themed
>Somebody posts the problem on the hearthstone subreddit
>1464 karma
>354 comments
>A few commenters wrote down their answers
>A week later
>9 people get caught cheating.
>Turns out the commenters did the problem wrong. Professor took screenshots of the comments and told the graders to check if the submitted homework matched the picture

Guess what guys, I'm installing Ubuntu over Arch, because I need change and I just don't give a shit about distro elitism. Like many others, I got my start on Ubuntu (was probably Hardy Heron), and then I have done some hoppin' ever since. I never wanted to go back to plain Ubuntu because you know.., but fuck that, its perfect for what I need on my shitty laptop which I do nothing more than watch shitty livestreams on.

I also need something which looks vaguely caught up to 2019 GUI standards while expending max 13 kcal in the process (already spent a fair share with KDE). The 13 is for deleting the Amazon shortcut.

My first experience with any kind of development was in a web mastering class in high school. I got super into it and started going really far ahead in the course materials.

During the second semester most students in the class were not interested at all so I decided to start a business of selling custom tailored assignments to about half the class. It didn't make me rich of course, but it felt good being the HTML / CSS god in the class.

The best part honestly was getting caught. The principal was so impressed at the amount of extra work I'd been doing that he just gave me a detention. Thanks Mr. Murray, for being so cool and not putting me down for doing what I love.

I love javascript, but sometimes it's just an incredibly stupid language, such as when undefined variables get interpreted as string literal "undefined" when concatenating strings. I like it better how, for example, PHP handles undefined values, that nulls just turn into "". Better still: typed languages, where most stupid mistakes are caught already at compilation, instead of having to spend hours to track down where that mysterious "undefined" comes from. As I said, I love javascript - because it is easy to code, flexible and forgiving in many ways. But I hate it for the exact same reason, for being such a sloppy fluffy...thing, and a bugger to debug. If javascript would be an animal, it would be a cute and cuddly cat that you instantly find adorable, but it's actually quite fat and lazy, plus its fur is littered with ticks and other bugs.

At school we couldn't have any kind of internet connection during test, the teachers were always checking for wifi connections before during every test.

In the building there were a lot of netgear router always called 'NETGEAR <casual number>'.

Once I came out with a wonderful idea, what if I call my hotspot 'NETGEAR 43265'.

They never caught me 😎

LOL, somebody thought Zoom was secure! Hahahahaha! Some people were caught planning violence and a potential coup...on...Zoom!

The lack of understanding of technology creates interesting convergences of events.

So, if you are planning to break the law, don't use Zoom. Mmmkay?

There is someone in our building who urinates like a watering can.; all over the place. Do you think I will get caught if I try to get a DNA match, or install a CCTV to catch the culprit?

My boss just yelled at our devops guy because he caught the DO intern watching Twitch while he was eating lunch at his desk. Why even care?

I keep spreading myself too thin. I pick up too many projects and find myself not working as much as I want on my main projects. I've been getting better about realizing this, and I caught myself after less than a month. But shit. I need to stop it.

"In a closed society where everybody is guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity."
― Hunter S. Thompson

Fuck you, previous lead architect dictator! I spent a year arguing against your rigid nonsense custom built bullshit, and a year and a half after the client finally caught on and got rid of you I just got bitten yet again from one of your retarded over-complicated "solutions" to problems that never existed in the first place.

I wish I could send you an email and tell you about how I have thrown out all the useless shit you created and that we are all clearly better off now, but instead I will just share my frustration on DevRant and hope you read it and know exactly who you are.

I feel sorry for your current client.

Cocktail for disaster:

- TDD
- Mocking
- Multithreading
- Averagely well written, testable code
- All tests pass
- One test methods still shows some vague stacktrace in a worker thread ❌ but the test passes ✅
- Run only that test method and no stacktrace.

So I've been pulling my hair for the last two days trying to figure out what was throwing in that test method. Turns out that thanks to the multithreading going on, some other, similar method threw the exception in parallel. And apparently a different test method was already running when the exception was finally caught.

🖕

When I discovered that, it was fixed in a minute. 😭

Hacking in mivies are so damn cool and easy!
The main character never gets caught and everything goes as expected.
Hacking in reality is no way like that 😬

So I'm coming out of one that has a focus on this stack (JS [JQuery after weeks of Vanilla JS drilling in our heads, React], Java, MySQL, Python [Django, Bottle], HTML/CSS, and a few web security concepts (XSS, SQL injections).

The whole course has been 4 months learning, 3 weeks working on a final project. Next week is the presentation, so I think I can safely comment on the course.

We moved fast, but that's to be expected. Lecture in the mornings, exercises in the afternoons, assignments due at the beginning of each week. Constantly working towards it and improving. I have been working pretty hard. We were given some help, but had to get a lot of answers online (based God StackOverflow), but that's part of it.

We touched on some concepts like inheritance in JS, Python and Java, OOP and to be open to concepts we don't know so we should be thirsty for that knowledge.

In my off time, I've begun texting myself Node and really trying to double down on React because it seems useful. I realized I was more drawn to the backend, but I was comfortable in front end as well. (Just don't ask me to design anything, my eye for aesthetics/CSS sorcery is terrible.)

The overall experience has been pretty mixed, but we were mostly unsatisfied. We weren't given then help we were promised. The explanations weren't exactly crystal clear, so we would have to teach ourselves and each other quite a bit. We worked together a lot. Some people really fell behind, some caught up, some flew ahead and thrived. (I'm somewhere between caught up and thrived, I recognize where I stand.)

I'm happy I did a bootcamp, they aren't miracle programs, but they at least kick you into place that you are learning and need to continue to learn. (Just kinda wish I had done a different one.)

Feel free to ask about anything concerning it!

That feeling when the CEO gives a really positive pep talk about his future plans for the company but, deep inside you know your just caught up in a monkey shit fight that can never achieve the goals he’s laid out.

Quite an aggressive remarketing strategy.. Caught my attention yes, but this crap all around the interwebs would eventually become irritating as hell..

there is a window on the right side of my pc and a big ass fuckin spider web. there are some green stink bugs that piss me off a lot so whenever my code is broken and im pissed the fckk off i just look at my buddy web developer eating that fcking bug that got caught in the fking web and im not gonna do anything to help the bug go away fcck uu

Client: "We just need to make the product and not get caught up in all this technical mumbo-jumbo"

Dude, your product IS the technical mumbo jumbo

DAPHNE: We finally caught the mean old Edge Browser! Now let's find out who you *really* are!
SCOOBY: Ruh-roh!
SHAGGY: Yoink!
DAPHNE: Gasp! It was Old Man Trident Rendering Engine all along!
VELMA: We could have worked it out from how Edge has exactly the same bugs and performance problems is IE!
OLD MAN TRIDENT: And I'd have got away with it if it wasn't for you pesky kids!

If I ever get caught in science coding my excuse is "but miss, it's computer science"

Most recently... taking something previous devs had failed at and knocking it out of the park.

Best example was a statistical regression and graphing tool on ASP MVC.

The devs were doing a massive brute force recalculation on the server layer. It would take 24h then fail to save (Entity framework brute force).

We moved it to the database layer and got it down to a passable time.

The same devs were outputting charts to ie 9, chrome, firefox... same deal, half an hour on the initial request (parser churn in the browser)... then failure.

Again got it into a passable time by switching to web sockets and long polling then outputting 1000 or so points at a time to give the browser time to render.

Taking those two cock ups and making them a workable solution was awesome.

Since then, teaching. We have apprentices, newcomers, interns all jumping in and looking to get working. They're all different, what works to teach one person won't the next, each of them so far has caught on to what I was teaching. It's a proud moment to be able to impart knowledge and see someone pick it up, enthusiastically... it's also awesome to see someone excited about what you do.

When you get out of remotely fixing a photo Kiosk because it caught fire...

I am reviewing a piece of code as I type this, and I just had to make a rant about it. In the code there's all these measures for syncing multiple threads, while the entire thing runs does not even use threading. But that's not the worst: when an InterruptedException is caught, is calls Platform.exit() WHICH CLOSES THE FUCKING PROGRAM. WHY WOULD YOU EVER DO THAT?

!dev && random == true

Venus (top), Jupiter (bottom). There's a star (Antares) there to make it triangle but the star is dim to get caught by my crappy phone camera.

I've always fascinated by the night sky. Nevermind the mission to travel to Mars, the only matters now is how beautiful the night sky is but a lot of us don't get access to it because of light pollution. It's kinda sad that I need to go outside of the cities to see more of what the sky has to offer. I really wish everyone can see and appreciate it once in a while.

We had a meeting with the top IT folks in the company (top manager was in the meeting). A mix between operations (customer), engineers, and IT people were at this meeting.

The IT group was not happy that my customer had asked me to do some server work. IT wanted to control that. They wanted to shut down a server without regard to the customer using this resource constantly.

IT had heartburn about the system running Ubuntu rather than Redhat Linux. The top manager during the meeting says, "Why are you running Ubuntu? That is a gaming OS." All the other IT people who worked for them just looked at each other and us with that 'WTF? Dear caught in headlights look.'

My manager who was at same level as head of IT made a few comments. We got to keep our server and IT backed down.

Saw a counting variable in code. It was a necessary counting variable, so that is not what this is about.

However, this is a US based company that has a somewhat PC (no cursing) and professional cultural facade.

This variable was called "cnt". How the hell did that one not get caught in peer review? I have gotten dinged for having "possibly offensive" variable names (think Point5Hit though I have never written that as a variable name). It was funny. But I have changed it because that's just lazy.

Rolled out a new application I built almost entirely by myself 2 days ago... But my dev group is understaffed and has a project manager who is literally the most clueless person I have ever met, so as a result, we don't have a functional/useful dev/test/prod framework and no standards for how to deploy apps. So my past 2 days were comprised of fixing bugs in the live system that could probably have been caught if I had the time and resources to get everything thoroughly tested. It's stable now, but damn our management for being generally idiots. Our motto appears to be "Fuck it, we'll do it live"

The interview I was so nervous about apparently went well. It’s a small ad company.

I was offered a month long “work trial” period.

Problem is I was caught off guard with discussing compensation & what I agreed to is less than half what the average dev makes in my state.
Like barely above min wage

I feel much less excited about this but this would be my first job in a loooong time.

I’m not sure how to feel but I think I have to at least try, but I feel taken advantage of already!
Is that bad? What would you guys do? How would you approach this before sending any signed commitments back?

Ugh!!!!!

Started reading about toilet bidets, read some posts and one caught my attention cuz the disclaimer at the top.

"Warning: This is a review of a bidet. There will be unabashed talk of human excrement and the body parts that produce it. If that sort of thing offends you, then do yourself and everyone else a favor and stop reading now. Offended people screaming in the comments will not be tolerated. You've been warned."

😂

Still looking for my first full-time dev role. After being endlessly rejected from every dev job I've applied for, it starts to eat away at your confidence. Makes me wonder if I'm not as competent as I believe I am. :/

Fortunately, I landed a coding interview with Google! It is my dream job to work at Google, so the fact that they even acknowledged me & my skillset makes me so happy and reaffirms my belief in my capabilities. :D

It's pretty odd, that after applying to 20+ open Google positions relevant to my skill level & location and often with references included, then having been rejected from all of them, that I finally got a chance with them when one of their recruiters found me on LinkedIn and liked what she saw. I cleared the screening call, and made it to the first coding interview.

Of course, even with all the interview prep I've done, it was all practically for naught since they caught me off guard with a crazy conceptual problem anyway. (Well, actually, was I 'caught off guard' if I was already expecting to be caught off guard? o.0) I struggled heavily in the first half of the interview, but found my footing towards the end. So I knew I screwed up and that it was highly unlikely for me to get the job.

Nonetheless, Google had the decency to reject me not via an automated email, but through an actual direct phone call with my recruiter. (The cruelty of the automated application rejection system in our society is a whole rant of its own, for another time.) My recruiter told me that they felt I wasn't ready but they liked what they saw, so they will be revisiting me in exactly a year to reconsider me.

To know that I wasn't fully rejected, and that my dream company Google sees real potential in me, is highly reassuring. It means I'm not a lost cause; I simply need to keep looking. Google will want me more strongly once I have the experience that comes from a fresh grad's first full-time job.

Would telling someone in a code review that their code wouldn't even work and that a simple test would have caught it of they wrote one be considered rude? Should I just tell them exactly what the problem is and move on or make them figure it out?

I want people to be testing the code they write but I don't want to just become annoying to them by telling them constantly to add tests when there is no immediate payoff that these juniors obviously crave. Similarly I don't want to antagonise them when they are so early in their career.

So, just pulled another all-nighter..

On our platform I switched a quite big customer to another stock keeping system to pull them into automatic FEFO handling etc. Just a better stock keeping system overall.. I made it.. *self hi-5*

Evidently the crons caught that change, and CLEARED ALL THE STOCK LEVELS as they're now managed by said system...

Had to pull the counts, locations, expiry dates and lot numbers from the history table and old database fields, add them to an Excel sheet and then add all gathered locations by hand back into the new system, whilst also setting the new settings for them.

39 unique products that were gathered over 190+ sku objects... (Somebody didn't get object oriented, or was trying to KISS themselves, clearly...)

That's 6 hours of extra work for a stupid fuck up.. Oops? (:

When git blame tells you name@example.com wrote the shitty code, but he is actually reusing the address that was assigned to a former colleague with the same name.

I'm getting caught up on my personal project because I need to generate a lot of Dynamic HTML using JS and it's just a pain. I hate adding dependencies to a project, especially personal projects with no deadlines, so tomorrow I will be writing a vanilla templating system, and hopefully that will un-funk me.

I have a pretty successful project on github

Which I don't think is necessarily my best achievement but all the stuff I do at work is not open

I used the project as a way to learn bash scripting and it kinda caught on.
Sadly I'm not a sys admin or anything I'm more of hardware/embedded engineer but it's still cool to have one of my projects being so used. And I got to learn a little of bash along the way 😁 I now feel super comfortable in a terminal and reading man pages to figure things our which was a skill i lacked previously. I definitely learn better by doing and fixing mistakes along the way

Not entirely dev related, but definitely shameless. In high-school we had to study CS, but it was more about knowing to use Office. We had class tests, which mean that we all had the same task and we had to finish it until the end of the class. Obviously no one wanted to do it, so whoever finished first would email it to everyone. Most people, however, were stupid enough to leave the meta data untouched, so it was obvious who was the original author. To not appear suspicious, I removed the original metadata and put my own in, and deliberately made errors in the sheet and corrected others that I noticed. I never got caught, because my work would always have "unique" mistakes.

I've caught cold yesterday and I've slept for more than 6hr today :/
Going to sleep agsin just wanted to tell it to someone

After building some automated regression tests to verify parts of the company website were working, it was discovered that a test case was missing.
Instead of a constructive meeting about fixing the issue and adding a test, I was reamed and my manager was reamed that we "missed this case".
Nevermind that the automation caught several issues before release in nearly every other aspect of coverage.
Nevermind that the missing test case was a useless feature added after the automation was completed.
Nevermind that automation was meant to be the last stop in the gate, not the first...

I was so livid after that meeting I nearly resigned on the spot. My manager was so livid over being told to write me up he was ready to resign.

"The next time you’re caught in a room full of smart people doing something dumb (like trying to anticipate what your users will do), tune them out, flip open your laptop, and start prototyping." - Daniel Burka

You had two additional weeks to improve your project.

You could research different marketing strategies to increase revenue. You could add some new features to attract more users and ensure your existing users are satisfied. Finally, you could optimize performance to make your UI quicker.

But you’ve chosen to write some unit tests. Now that two weeks are gone, you got no new features, no performance improvements and no new marketing strategies while your competitors got them all.

Tests caught obvious bugs that can even be caught by static typing, but you by definition couldn’t write tests that’ll catch unpredictable bugs, so they are still present.

After six months you realize you have to rewrite a major part of your project because your project (surprise-surprise) has to chase market needs to stay relevant. Your tests are thrown into trash along with your old code.

“Having trouble with code quality? Write a lot of tests. And I mean a *lot*. Test every file in isolation. Mock as many imports as possible.

When you're done, your code will still be bad, but now your tests will make sure it's impossible to improve anything in any meaningful way.”

Borrowed 2 books from my school library. The passionate programmer caught my interest. And I grabbed the rootkits one just because I have little idea what a rootkit is so I was curious

Since im still a student in software dev (am I still welcome here on devrant? :P), it is easy for me to not do coding. Specially because the summerbreak just started. However I am going to try and learn some stuff about network programming, that caught my attention :D

So guys you all remember or know or will know how it is to be a student. Not that much money around, have to be responsible for the first time of your life and I don't know since we're all programmers here our Desktop/laptop that we invested our money on for the university is our life.

Recently I have found out that something is up with my laptop. My Ram should have been 8GB but it shows only 4. I almost fainted, I thought the seller caught an idiot (me) and sold it like that. So I decide, for some reason, to buy 2x8gb ram so I can have 16 since its the max support of the system.
I open the laptop and what to see but my laptop had 2x4gb in there.

Regardless I installed the new ones to find out what else but my PC is now showing just 8gb.

"Calm down Nick" I said maybe GPU uses it but no it only shows 4gb ram, the same amount the laptop came with so I guess it's integrated.

So now I can only think that the problem is occurred because my Father, dropped the laptop when I specifically told him to not have it in dangerous high places. I Googled around but everyone is talking just swaping the ram chips well yeah I did that 100 times, still the same.

Tl;Dr I'm freaking out because theres something up with my laptop

So, I just caught Adblock Plus blocking all ++ buttons on devRant...

Jealous of not having its own second plus, I guess.

When you start up your Xbox at night during the offshore meeting trying to be all sneaky & a co worker privately messages you "are you playing Fifa?" after hearing "EA sports it's in the game"

There's few feelings like pressing ctrl+w to close a browser tab, realising you've accidentally also caught the shift key, and watching your carefully organised session of many 10's of browser tabs disappear from existence.

I don't like coding in the dark anymore. I think I've been doing it for about 2 years but I, just now, realized it.

I never even noticed when I started doing it. I just remember that--when the sun sets and I'm still working--I think to myself "ugh, it's too dark in here".

It just seems crazy to me because I used to love the dark. Not in the broody, ooh I'm a hacker kind of way.. just that I worked better in the dark.

I used to choose afternoon or evening shifts whenever given the choice because my brain works better when it's dark out (if that even makes sense). I used to work inside conference rooms with the lights out or dimmed.

But now, I just caught myself thinking I needed a brighter light in my home office.

Huh. I think I'm getting old.

Been vigorously learning how to code and I've caught myself ending sentences with semicolons;
#java

So worried people will fuck things up in work when I'm not there. It's causing such tiredness and such long days. 🙇I think it's caught up with with today. No holiday leave taken for 9 months and not a day off sick. 🏳

I need advice.

So let's say, hypothetically, I found a site with a user data leak.

Would it be illegal if I only told them where the leak was for a bounty?

I am NOT going to distribute the user data. I just don't want to work for free, you know?

Again: NOT DISTRIBUTING USERDATA. No blackmail. Just information that their QA should have caught.

I'm not sure why but I'm always super caught up on the aesthetic of my coding. Like the code editor has to have the right colors and format and I hate getting so stuck on inconsequential aspects of work.