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-
At a funeral.....
A visitor: What's the WiFi password here?
Priest: Respect the dead
Visitor: All small letters ?...6 -
Me: my computer is dead, are you using the iMac?
Sister: your computer is dead because of the coding! Even my friend agrees that coding causes viruses17 -
Programmers: Always use descriptive variable names.
Mathematicians: Single letter variable names always, ideally from obscure/dead alphabets.
Src: Twitter16 -
So Facebook declared millions of people dead ... I guess that's what happens when you test in production7
-
Holy moly..
Working on my MacBook and out of nowhere: *click* dead..
Try to restart it, fan spinning for a second, then: nothing.. recovery mode. Nothing..
FUCK!!
Doing research on my iPhone.. see Louis rossmann had a case like this in which one foot of the clock on the main board doesn’t have connection.
But I don’t have the right tools to open the MB..
I turn it around, shake it shake it shake it shake it baby like Taylor swift, knock on the back, knock on the keyboard and voila.. working again😪
Didn’t think that still works with modern technology..6 -
Someone drugged me last saturday.
I almost died, friends and family said.
Still recovering from it...8 -
FUUUUCK!!! I just saw a dead pixel in my retina display
The fact that it is retina tells me that it isn't just one pixel.
I fucking hate my life right now2 -
I can get absolutely dead pissed by the fact that a FUCKING 1800 euro laptop can't do a fucking basic thing like connecting to a bloody WiFi ap?
so why, you wonder? oh no, the problem isn't the fucking hardware. IT'S THIS DEAD BEAT PIECE OF SHIT CALLED WINDOWS. mfw when it runs fine under Linux, BUT WE CANT HAVE NICE THINGS CAN WE ADOBE?!?8 -
AngularJS is dead. React is dead. Vue.js is dead. I guess you got to switch to the new awesome framework called Vanilla JS!13
-
happy birthday to me
dad is dead
mom is dead
have been for years
who knows about my siblings and everyone is crazy and i'm not completely sure how old i am except that i have obviously visibly aged and a photo of me snuck into my older photos shows me as I actually looked at 40 ish.
yay.
some days i wish i was dead.44 -
import datetime
age=19
while not dead:
today=datetime.datetime.today()
if today.day == 1 and today.month == 4:
age+=1
print("🎉")14 -
I just read devRant while on the shitter for so long my legs went dead. Now I can't walk properly hahaha...4
-
I just spent 2 hours helping a fellow Sr Dev format an “if block” in code. Then helped show them how to step through the code. This is what passes as a senior at my company? I no joke have stayed at this job for 6 more months than I wanted to out of pure pity for my team. I want to quit so bad, but the team is in such terrible shape and can’t hire anyone new that is willing to stay. All good people personally, but gosh this job is just brain dead and eats my weekends when I should be focusing on family. Back to helping through the 500 line if block. There are worse things in life, but this just feels terrible.11
-
My feelings towards half the people in my class because most a brain-dead cunts with no aspirations or passion for anything they do.
3 -
Wow i must have been brain dead when i wrote this code. Needed to exclude certain elements from response for the the list of objects.
for (obj : objects) {
If (obj.skipFromResponse()) {
break
}
add obj to response
}
I used break instead of continue at the if condition which meant it would break out of the loop at the first instance of condition being met.
This went through qa and has been in production for 4 weeks so how did this not break before. Well little did i know the list of objects was sorted and all the test data, qa data and everything so far in production coincidentally only had the last element with matching condition. This meant it returned everything correctly so far.
Today was the first time there was a situation where this caused incorrect output. Luckily as soon as I heard the description of the issue I remembered to check the merged PR and hung my head in shame for making such trivial error. I must have written way more complicated code without any problem but this made me embarrassed to even admit. 🤦♂️4 -
*My friend texting me*
Friend: wtf
My brain: w tf
My brain again: tf
My brain again: import tensorflow as tf
😂😂am brain dead3 -
My Neighbors still have written "Merry X mas" on their window... I am not sure if they're dead or just using IE
-
On way to work.
Almost stepped over a dead cat! 😷
I hate this fucking country.
*Walking past a stray dog staring at me atm*7 -
Just decided to revive my old, dead and unappreciated project. Even bought a domain for it. So hyped!
...why am I doing this?5 -
Your CC is safe with us.
Most likely dead code was included in 2013, never modified.
Someone was happy to use Wikipedia
-
FUCK.... My laptops LED screen just got a dead px stripe.... And the bad thing is that it is allmost in the middle of the screen.... Oh and it is 60px in length and about 3 px in height!!! And no signs of physical damage to the screen.... so they just died!!!!
And the warranty ended 3 months ago..... Fuck you ASUS!3 -
I wish I was one of those brain dead sheep that study hard, fall in love, take selfies, get a job , go clubbing, get married, attend cocktail parties and make more brain dead sheep....6
-
I somehow can't stop laughing at the comment I posted.
@htlr "devRant has a rendering bug under weekly topic"
me: "I can't see that. Are you sure it's not a dead pixel on your phone?"
@electrineer "Dead pixel won't show up on screen shot"
me: "err... screen shot got be have a dead pixel capture feature, right?!"
🤣Oh geez. If someone need to balance out their genius brain wave, I'm here to help!
https://devrant.com/rants/1266369/... -
It's dead. Devrant is dead.
If anybody wandering this earth were to enjoy random people ranting, without the possibility to filter, subscribe and connect.
No notifications means this platform is walking the plank.12 -
Question.
Would you work 100 hour weeks?
I just read that some developers of game company Rockstar had to work 100 hour weeks because of a deadline for Red Dead Redemption 2.
“We were working 100-hour weeks [several times in 2018],” lead writer Dan Houser explained.
So... would you accept or refuse?18 -
My phone fell down for the thousandth time and i thought it was okay as it usually has been in previous attempts at suicide.
Pressed power button ...
Screen turned on showing lock screen...
Touched back key .... phone vibrated....
Hmmm... It's okay. Didn't try unlocking screen...
Received a call later on....
Swiped to pick up call.... Nothing moved...
Turned the screen off. Turned it on again. Tried opening screen lock. Again nothing moved...
Got an OTG and plugged a mouse into phone.
Cursor moves.
Alas... My Phone's Touch Unit is DEAD :/7 -
Life of dev
birth();
while(alive()) {
....code();
....debug();
....insertRandomBugRant();
}
while(dead())
{
....ThereWasBugInMyCode();
}
Fatal error: Call to undefined function birth(); on line 11 -
Flash is already dead. Has been for years. Can every news outlet please stop reporting its demise as anything more than a vague curiosity?!7
-
Finally the pc is coming together nicely. After waiting so many months and dead cpu issue.
Can't wait to play game in 4k ultra.
9 -
I thought devRant was dead today because I didn't see new content for hours, then I realized the feed was on Algo. #fml
-
So it’s my girlfriend’s birthday and I was sitting with wine in my hand and C sharp.
I’m gonna be dead tomorrow.
4 -
When you take a bathroom break thinking of code while absentmindedly soaking your pants and shoes with pee1
-
And the time has come, my gf and I are just a month away from deploying yet we still call the project "project".
Usually solutions jump in my head when programming at least once a day but I can't name the damn thing for the love of God! It's the first night since we started development I have felt clueless.
Plus I don't want to be "that guy" that just gives it a generic name, like there's already a "ratemyprofessors", professor this, teacher that, fuck that shit!
I'm brain dead.
8 -
They say PHP is dead, PHP sucks, PHP this, PHP that. I don't want to hear anymore. This dead man is doing wonders. 😠12
-
When you are looking for a niche solution, you find some very well sounding suggestions in SO and see this in solutions' homepages...
2 -
Laptop has died. This is probably a significant blocker to development...
Oh well time to buy a new one I guess!1 -
So Huawei got pretty much nuked by Google.
I wonder if it's going to stick because it would mean they're pretty much out of the smartphone game if I understand it right8 -
My mate just walked out in shorts and a really short top. Damn she's drop dead gorgeous. Wish I wasn't so fucking awkward :/18
-
Me: Do you already have a live USB stick for Windows?
Brother: You mean a dead USB stick, because Windows hasnt got that feature?!2 -
Python:
come.here(dear_friend)
Perl:
@body = qw(dead _ friend)
come->here{join( " ", @body )};++@#!A$!@ !
Grrr!!!
Ignore syntax/conceptual/logical/all errors.
Sent from my keyboard.3 -
Next weeks rant theme should be worst dev day.
Any how today I fucked up at a whole new level. First ran a script thinking I am deleting my local dev environment.
*An Eternity later*
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkk
That dreaded script ran on main dev server and fucked up the server used by a team of 15+ teammates. Dead.2 -
Just realized, I did not put my phone on the charger... But actually left it on the bathroom floor....
FUCK!!! IT'S NOW ALMOST DEAD!3 -
I am interested in learning Ruby sometime in the future.
Already know Python, Java and Javascript(including Node).
Is Ruby dead? Is it worth learning?16 -
My boss is going to his brother's place and his taking me with him to fix their computer and internet dead-zone issue.
Just Great!3 -
My iMac is dead after reinstalling Mojave. It’s a sign from god telling me to stop coding. It’s not for me.6
-
Guess who was studying on his laptop and also had a near deadline about an university project and now admire this fab burnt monitor flat.
(About a week ago i also reiceveid and sticked devrant's sticker to it)
6 -
Hi ranters. We need to talk.
I've been thinking, I'm lately getting tired of code everywhere. Suppose one is a software engineer / senior developer. What is one's career path from this point on?
Tech lead? Architect? And then what? Is that all? A dead end?
Management would be also a possibility I guess. But is that a horizontal career change or are there any spots in vertical plane?22 -
To all guys who write shitty code:
if (false)
I just found that when compiling for Release mode in Visual Studio the JIT compiler eliminates this:
Dead code elimination - A statement like if (false) { /.../ } gets completely eliminated.
And a lot of other similar stuff2 -
wise man once said
its difficult to remain sane amongst crazy people
and its difficult to remain alive amongst dead people.8 -
Yesterday was my deadline for a programming project at uni and my laptop charger exploded when I started working.4
-
I prefer to build my solutions bottom-up, creating a component right after identifying the need for it but before whatever would be using it, because this gives me the flexibility to think about the problem in the general sense and produce an optimal solution without overspecialization.
VSCode's Rust plugin is a bit overzelous about dead code detection and runs it whenever the codebase is deemed to be correct, highlighting every item that isn't referenced from main, even if it is referenced from something else that's unreferenced.
Whenever I finally defeat the borrow checker and produce a correct solution my entire codebase lights up in yellow like a christmas tree and I'm completely addicted to this. -
One of these days....
Where you want to do a tiny task
....
And suddenly an explosion nukes every service, related service and dependant service.
Chain reaction. Yaaaayyy........
(ancient prometheus node lead to an snapshot error, snapshot error made the migration tool unhappy, migration tool unhappy meant that my task failed - updating prometheus meant checking every target, exporter and so on...
Fuckity fuck it''s gangbang time.)1 -
Anyone knows some good network penetration suite for Android?
I got cSpoit 'cause dSploit is dead. And cSploid seems to be broken - for me, too.6 -
@dfox
Notifications are busted again!
++ still come through, but mentions are dead 🥲
Anyone seeing the same thing?
4 -
So today in class, we had the task of presenting poems, for whatever godforsaken reason.
I finished mine last minute and guess who's been the lucky student who had to read theirs.
It then included things such as, roughly translated from german.
Hey actually I could use the translate bot for this but can't be bothered.
"Roses are red, violets are blue, I can't rhyme and neither can you"
"Roses are dead, violets are dead, democracy is dead"
"Roses are red, violets are red, everything is red, communism"
"Roses are red, violets are red, blood is red, god is dead"
Then I finished up with a Nietzsche quote "God is dead, god remains dead and we have killed him. How shall we comfort ourselves yadda yadda"
Actually didn't get fucked over by the teach.
Course and teach quite liked it apparently, can someone explain to me why that is?
Cause I genuinely do not understand what could be likable about such 0815 garbage that's just memes?5 -
That feel when you retire 152 files worth of dead code...
The diff was so big, it crashed our review tool! -
Today I meet a Delphi developer... I almost choked on my tongue. Until he showed me some apps he has developed! Thought Delphi was dead!5
-
!dev
Fucking hell, my phone (Nexus 5X) just died: I was browsing the web in Chrome, it suddenly hung, after a few seconds it turned off, and will not turn on at all now, it's just completely dead. FUCK!
I was going to pick up a used printer this afternoon, now I may not be able to because I can't contact the person to get their address. And if I could, I don't have Maps to find the way. FUCK!
On top of that, yesterday I got a call from the bank that my credit card was used in a fraudulent transaction so they had to cancel it, and send out a new one, which I will not have until Friday or Monday next. FUCK!6 -
Just replaced my dead battery on my Dell XPS 13 2013 with a brand new one. One whole month I was unable to unplug without a shutdown, not to mention that I couldn't boot it easy due to the dead battery... finally... justice.3
-
Had an skype job interview, at some point the interviewer asked me to tell a joke. I told a dead baby joke. I dont know normal jokes. I am not normal either. Dont think he enjoyed it.3
-
i'm living in a different country because of work, parents ranting in phone "the PC is slow" well fuck, that hdd was old when i built that PC so i wanted to change the hdd for my ssd anyway
Goes home for a little time period.. no time to order things. Turns out, hdd meanwhile died on them... well what a good thing i have this ssd in my old notebook, so its not a problem.
*turns on old notebook with 4 yo ssd* ...its dead too.
wtf, i'm so mad right now4 -
Don't worry, Stephen Hawkings not dead, they'll just download him somewhere else 😂😭 (RIP Stephen Hawking)
-
I can’t code without dead silence. I cannot concentrate on coding whatsoever unless there is dead silence in my house which leads me to usually coding in the middle of the night so I don’t hear people. Then I lose sleep and I lose my health. Anyone else?6
-
I've been using my laptop for only 6 months ... And suddenly the screen is completely black, but the touch screen still works (super weird). Kinda freaking out after paying more than 1k$ for it and it only worked for 6 months..... 😠2
-
Everyone: *circle jerking over cyberpunk 2077 and Red dead redemption 2*
Me: yeah looks cool but I think it'd be more interesting to build a modern operating system in pure unadulterated ASM...
Am I the only one not getting hyped over those games and just brain-dead or is anyone else in the same boat?18 -
Had an awesome time coding a tool for work over the weekend. Now I'm writing the documentation and wish I was dead :'(
-
I feel like I am trapped in a maze of a 20 year code base so many dead ends. Dead code...dead code everywhere1
-
Anyone elses file names sound more and more frustrating as a client continues to request tiny changes? Like it goes from
Db-image.png to
Fuckityfuckfuck.png6 -
What's the difference between a front end job and a dead end job?
The at least the front end goes to the back end. -
Yesterday i almost made my phone dead. The most expensive pad in my life xD
But i ws managed to do hard recovery. Watch thenewest superSU update.1 -
So how does dead code from 2007 still exist in this codebase, better yet why were there three of the exact same page literally no differences lmfao. Spent a moment having confused QA guys talk to me getting me confused because they couldn't replicate the solution that had been applied to all three versions of the page.
-
Ooook so I follow a lot of dev pages and a few hunting pages. But I haven’t been hunting in years.
I deadass thought somebody was trying to fucking advertise a course on Microsoft’s long dead Foxpro language!
I say long dead, two people at my work still work on it regularly 😬
-
dead in the middle of little Italy little did we know we riddled two middlemen who didn’t do diddly2
-
@-red thanks for the ++ bomb man <3
Thank goodness I don't have notifs enabled for devrant, or my phone would be dead already :D1 -
FML
Looks like my macbook air is dead. Screen went black just like that after I logged in.
My life is kinda ruined if I can't recover the data.11 -
Badly formatted and phrased ReadMes with misspellings and dead links are the bane of my existence.1
-
Ok, so my laptop just shut itself down out of the blue while I was working. That's nice.
Just *click* dead. Not even a BSOD or anything. The *click* being the sound of the hdd stopping.
I thought it was a linux-related issue, but this time I was on windows, so it might be a hardware issue I guess...6 -
This month is a nightmare,
1. Laptop battery dead
2. Laptop hinge broke
3. NIC Card dead(no idea but maybe because of the hinge )
4. Power Jack got fucked
5. Laptop Fan kinda dead(sometimes work sometimes don't maybe due to power issue)
6. Mobile's charger wire fucked
-_-3 -
Feels like I have been in a dead end job on a dead end team without anyway to get out.... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Pay is good though so guess I'll stay and just do my learning and non-team stuff on the weekends....
Seems like it's the only way out now...17 -
me: thinking about scraping for a webapp
Random Guy: walks past me staring me dead in the eyes.
Me outloud: "how do i scrape" -
I just love it when there is a power outage just after we all go home for the weekend. Coming back to dead servers is the best!
-
I'm pretty sure the talk about the dangers of AI is nonsense. Private Eye magazine was dead on with this:
5 -
Since I have a part time dev job I have no time for gaming .
My gaming friends must think that I am dead 😢 -
Shot scared if my roommate brought in some corona.
He had few coughs and seems to have caught cold.6 -
Well all be dead and this colossal waste of time will still continue
Would really like to settle down in a house long before I’m dead. Thanks.3 -
22:37
Idea!
I want to program a simulator of generations of humans!
So... dead, alive, probability, and anything else!
But this... Tomorrow.
Goodnight developers!6 -
They're re-working all the teams tomorrow. Hopefully i dont get put somewhere absolutely dead-end.
Wish me luck, boys.2 -
FUCK
My laptop battery just died, this morning it was working fine, i left it in standby and when i got back it was turned off, now it shows 0% not charging.
The laptop is less than 2 years old, i think windows killed the battery by letting it fully discharge (well, it's my fault after all), still now i've got to get a new one (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻.
fml2 -
Not really a rant, but a question for all of you devs stuck in a really bad company. And I mean 'stuck', as in certain situations that don't allow you to switch jobs at the moment and you have to put up with your job.
What do you tell yourself everyday to go work on something even when your manager doesn't care, your project hits a dead end, the company that you work for is a shit show of a fucking circus, and your career seems bleak from every angle? Have you guys ever had an existential crisis as a dev?4 -
Wednesdays. The day we get every single dev in a meeting room, and get everyone to explain what the fuck they are working on and what sort of issues they are having. Regardless of whether you'll ever see that site or not. Can't think of a bigger fucking waste of time.... ....meetings for the sake of meetings.... PISS OFF!!1
-
My brain overheat
RIP me 😵
Kind of responsibility working with software company. Deadline really makes you feeling dead -
College has been rough, especially when I've been having my hand held through 12 years. More stuff to learn, to do; and my life hasn't been great.
It's official that I'm following Chemical Engineering, specifically Food Engineering major (or whatever the heck it's called). I still code but I'm not sure if I'm gonna get to the level of the properly-trained folks. Heck I don't even know DFS and BFS and they seem important.
So yea, I'm not dead, just on life support. What did I miss on dR since July guys?1 -
I triggered the Ruby on Rails community on Reddit because I called it a dead language.
Pretty hilarious.3 -
Didn't use devRant for two days, and I already feel dead and bored. Like the juice has been taken out of me.1
-
!devrant
What the fuck is wrong with walking deads CGI??? Did they lose all their budget or something?
DEER WALKING DEAD DIE1 -
ISTQB tutorial (testing) with cold dead syntetic voice.... brain liquifying under unreleting bordom! KILL ME NOW!!!1
-
I never got into IRC but I heard that it is dead by now?
I just wanted to chat about topics or "meet" new people
So any alternative to IRC?3 -
So the whole plot of Neon Genesis is basically Gendoh destroying the current world to create a new world where his wife isn't dead?2
-
Back to work from a week on holiday. Find out that both mine and my girlfriends companies have announced redundancies on the same day (completely unrelated companies in different fields). We've both made it through the first round ok (which is more than some so massively grateful) but we are still at risk of loosing our jobs. We have some savings to fall back on but that will only cover rent for so long. Never underestimate how quickly things can go to shit.
-
So I was walking down the road and a carcass of a possum was decaying in it, then I looked nearby and several dead glistening newborn kittens were dead along the road.
people here are such trash.
they better hand over the fucking money and stop it with their queer shit because if they got anything they need their ass shot. -
while(!Success)
{
finals.toStudyFor();
if(Dead||!(finals.toStudyFor))
{
up.wake;
finals.toStudyFor();
}
else
{
home--;
family.disown();
life.fail();
}
if(Success)
{
down.lie();
notToCry.try();
cryALot.do();
celebration==true;
}
}
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