When you do everything that needs to be done and it still doesn't work out.

WHY THE HELL DOESN'T THIS METHOD WORK??!11!?? Oh, I never called it yet ._.

My toaster doesn't work.

Fuck Windows 10

My roommate was sleep talking last night. She said: "It doesn't work!"
I wonder if she was debugging in her sleep...

Daily calls.

Hey, how are you? Ok. You know what? My printer doesn't work.

my lamp doesn't seem to work... smh

Friend: You can't just use sudo, whenever something doesn't work
Me:

Wondering why that link doesn't work.
My junior developer uses onlick instead of onclick.

Person: Your website doesn't work.
Me: Why?
Person: Nothing happens when I click.
Me: Did you disable JavaScript?
Person: Yeah, sounds shady.

Will you PLEASE stop just commenting out code that doesn't work
Delete it
Please

My experience while learning C#:

>trying to print an HTML element of a website to console
>doesn't work
>why
>changes a few things in code
>runs code multiple times
>still doesn't work
>looks closely at code
>wait a second
>walks to wireless printer
>finds nearly 10 pieces of paper on the floor
>I hate myself

*QA chick tries to run software
*software doesn't start / throws an exception
*she does chmod 777 *
*still doesn't work
*blames developer

SHE DOES A FUCKING CHMOD 777 ON EVERY FUCKING FILE AND FOLDER LIKE THIS IS SOME BLACK MAGIC FUCK

That feeling when you Google for a solution and the answer that works for everybody doesn't work for you...

it doesn't work is not a bug report.

"I'm just trying to replicate {ticket-1234} so I can write a quick hotfix."

- "Oh, it doesn't work on dev."

- "So... I have to test on stage?"

- "It doesn't work on stage either."

- "Uh, on prod?"

*office laughs*

We're doing it live folks.

Your app works.
You do some changes.
It doesn't work anymore...
You restore the old code.
It still doesn't work... WHY?

Writes code.
Doesn't work as intended.
Debug.
Works as intended.
Tests other scenarios.
Don't work as intended.
Debug.
Works as intended in scenarios.
Scenario 1 fails.
Stares at code.
Staring doesn't work as intended.
Fuck...

When you want to run something via command line in Linux but it doesn't work.

"guys the site doesn't work on ie..."

Macs are for those who don't want to know why their computer works.

Linux is for those who want to know why their computer works.

DOS is for those who want to know why their computer doesn't work.

Windows is for those who don't want to know why their computer doesn't work.

When someone found out that a function you wrote doesn't work.

No wonder my installer doesn't work...

its ok guys,
Nvidia doesn't even work well on Windows either.

9pm Project Manager: We have to push an update TONIGHT
9.45pm Devs: okay guys, all latest bugs are fixed, just needs final check and we can push the update
10:45pm Devs: Guys?...
11:45pm Guy in charge of testing: Uh doesn't work...
- What doesn't work?
- I dunno, I get an error message
- What's the (fucking) error message?!
Aaaaand silence
Fuck this I'm going to bed.

Can you tell me why this command doesn't work ?

CSS doesn't work.
30 mins later:
Browser-Zoom was at 400% -.-

Code works.
I'm happy.
Maybe she's happy.

Code doesn't work.
I look frustrated.
She's definitely not happy.

When you try to work but your cat doesn't care...

We all have that kind of friend who is losing his shit , screaming , swearing , crying , whenever the code doesn't work as planned.

My connection doesn't work, can you connect remotely to fix it?

Code doesn't work.

Pointing middle finger at screen right now.

Time flies,

when your code doesn't work.

Classmate: "why doesn't it work?"
The code:

if (false) {
return even;
} else {
return odd;
}

It doesn't work!

*uninstalls*
*reinstalls*

It works!

Nobody cares what the code does when it works. Everybody cares about it when it doesn't work. You just can't win. 😤

Lost half a work day because of an ISP outage. (Testing mailers doesn't work without a connection)

Turns out it was a loose cable on our modem that happened to coincide with the ISP outage elsewhere.

Ugh.

When something that worked on Friday doesn't work on Monday

When you receive a "bug report" from one of the clients:

Subject: contact form
Message: It doesn't work

That moment when you get stressed because you think you've overslept but then realize that you work from home so it doesn't matter

That feeling when your program doesn't work but you somehow managed to do this.

I know Git gonna work, cause I don't know what I'm gonna do if it doesn't

When something doesn't work..create new framework :)

Quick burger restaurant (a Belgian burger restaurant much like McDonalds) using raspberry pi for their screen ... Well looks like it doesn't quiet work 😂

That awkward moment when you alter your code to see if it work this new way, and doesn't, and undo does not work. *Weapons grade facepalm*

friendsList.getBest().getHelp()
doesn't work.. I thought getBest() returns null.. but it turns out that friendsList is empty..

*cries in whatever language

When you close a browser tab and realise you still need it !😯
Why doesn't ctrl +z work here !!!

Solving Errors:
Code it.
Doesn't do anything, no errors in console.
Try again.
Doesn't work.
*Realizes that you didn't call the function*
ffs

"Why is doesn't the script work?"
*checks file*
"Oh, the file is empty.😑"

Found this very helpful review on playstore.

Don't know why it worked yesterday and Don't know why it doesn't work today.

Manager logic: Adding "somehow" to the front of the JIRA title for the JIRA description is super clear and helpful.

Example:

Title: Chat screen doesn't work
Description: Somehow chat screen doesn't work

Am I the only one who doesn't work an a potato?

One of a developer's worst nightmare:

their headphones that they use in work is broken/doesn't work

Then there's that awkward moment when variable "count" doesn't work because I called it "cunt" later on.

3 nights of "why doesn't this work?", "what else can I try?", "why doesn't that work either?"...

Finally... it f**king works!

The feeling when you finally figure something out, make the change, test... and it still doesn't work.

I need 15 minutes to solve this bug.
... 3 hours later: I have no idea why my code doesn't work. :)

Always satisfying when clients say our API doesn't work and it's shit, only to find out their firewall prevented external calls.

Nice work Google. web.dev is made to improve your website, but it's own menu doesn't even work

Every time when you receive a piece of code and it doesn't work.

I think this duy doesn't have a clue about how github repositories and open source work..

Every meeting that includes "X feature doesn't work on iOS"

Well, fuck you apple!

Transaction isolation levels can suck a dick.

Also,
serialization
doesn't
fucking
work.
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

*runs code*
*code doesn't work*
*found no errors*

Me: (dying inside) Hmm, this couldn't be right.

[doesn't do any work for like 3 days]
"I guess it's about time I got something done"

[opens laptop]

When you want to UPDATE your profile but it doesn't work

When something doesn't work you open a ticket on the ticketing platform. Today ticket platform was not working: Ticket-Inception

!Dev
I found this on Quora... it keeps me awake as I struggle to find the fourth person. Yes I can see 3 persons and four bottles.

The top comment on Computerphile's youtube video titled "Where HTML beats C":

HTML: Works even if you don't follow the rules.
CSS: Doesn't work, even if you follow the rules.
JavaScript: Doesn't tell you the rules to begin with.

If it doesn't work, it doesn't matter how fast it doesn't work.

Intern: "Hey Awlex, this function I'm using doesn't work. Can you help me?"
Me: "This function doesn't do what you are expecting. Did you even look at the docs for this function?"
Intern: "No."
Me: "... then start with that"

Asked a ui person why he doesn't work on android?
He said "its materialistic"

Three differently sized monitors freakes me out, but apparently that doesn't motivate buying new monitors at work 🙃😔

So my code doesn't work, and I don't know why... I'm struggling with that for like 3 hours or so

It doesn't work in IE. Fuck this shit!

It doesn't work, but look how beautiful it is.

Me at the new company:
My code doesn't work, I don't know why..
My code works!, But still I don't know why

Telling a UDP joke to someone who doesn't work in the Information Technology industry won't go over very well...because they probably don't get IT.

When the multi billion euro company you work for doesn't use a CMS, but let's the content editors edit your precious HTML and CSS.

That paranoia feeling when you push an upgrade and something stops working, you rollback, it still doesn't work..
"Has it ever worked at all?"

"Why the website doesn't work without an internet connection?"

Stupidest client ever!!!

When you're family asks why the printer doesn't work and I reply "I don't know that's a hardware problem"

i just had a client ask why their site doesn't work on their Kindle.

echo "This doesn't work"

* Right, this old potato is running PHP... *

echo "This doesn't work";

When life gives you lemons just "rm -rf" if that doesn't work try "sudo rm -rf".

Me: The CSS positioning looks great in a browser.
Them: it doesn't work on mobile...

Today:

Rando Person: Also this doesn't work, and this, and thi----

Me: Wait, what doesn't work and where? Show me...

Rando Person: Here see-

Me: Stop ... see how that says 'beta' and not to use it?... and how did you find this / get access to this?

Rando Person: Yeah the customer is using it.

Me: For fucks sake....

You know that when your work pc doesn't boot it's gonna be one of those days

When you realize your face detection doesn't work because you used the cat face cascade

A friend sent me this saying that this has windows on it, I put it in my computer to show him that it doesn't work
Now my PC doesn't power on
I mean WTF
WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO NOW

Somewhere there is a developer who writing an AI code that will put most ppl out of work. And he doesn't even know it

Why doesn't it work??

Installed Ubuntu 17.04 and now my internet doesn't work 😩🤔

When people ask me:
- Why doesn't it work?
I catch myself often responding like this:
- How exactly it doesn't work?

PM couldn't configure IMAP for Airmail so he deleted and reinstalled the application... Twice. Surprise! Still doesn't work the second or third time. 🖕

Client: MY PASSWORD DOESN'T WORK
Me: our passwords are case-sensitive
Client: YES I USED CAPS LOCK

In the meeting where I gave my notice period, the manager told me I won't find another company that doesn't make you do "donkey work" like us.

Currently hee-hawing from work.

I have to connect my HDMI with certain emotion. Otherwise it doesn't work.

When you get a call into the helpdesk:

" It doesn't work!! "

What doesn't fucking work???!!!!??? And who the hell is this anyway?

This function doesn't work... Maybe if i delete the whitespaces of the arguments

My first rant :)

It's only 2 months I work as a developer, and i get so frustrated when at meetings my boss doesn't consider me or doesn't ask me about my work, and instead he asks others about things I am doing..

JavaScript is very similar to duct tape, if it doesn't work, you haven't used enough.

I noped out of the coffee communism in my company. It's always the same assholes who just take the last cup out of the thermos jug and don't set up a new one. I'm fed up with this shit, and the company coffee itself is also cheap. I'm with my French Press and custom coffee now.

Debugging stage always consist of three phases:
1. It doesn't work.
2. It works.
3. It definitely works :)

When you have to work with a graphic designer that doesn't know how to design a website around a grid system

😭

"Your mobile website doesn't work on my desktop text-based browser. Please fix."

what...?

One thing I will never be able to stop is asking "why" if somebody tells me "X doesn't work", even though every second asshole takes it literal and tells me "I don't know why it doesn't work", instead of just mentally giving it a second and telling "why it doesn't work" by showing a screenshot or a message, because that's more likely what I meant.

Pretty much how I feel as a software developer when someone asks me why their printer doesn't work. 😂

Code works yesterday with the hardware but but doesn't work today (ﾉꐦಠヮಠ)ﾉ, they only work when they want

"This ethernet cable doesn't work because you made it too fast". ffs I had to fight for my grade that day.

why would you ever build an app that doesn't work on Chrome.

Programmers have two moods: "code doesn't work" and "code works"

What a great day! The code doesn't work but who cares, I got my devrant stickers!!!!!

"Oh you work in IT? You know my laptop doesn't work. Can you fix it?"

"this doesn't work on my iPad2 with Safari 6"

when testers add issues to the issue tracker and the body is just "it doesn't work"

my boss:
*doesn't assign any tasks to me*
*doesn't check what I'm doing in days, sometimes weeks*
also my boss:
"what are you working on?"
"i thought you were going to work on that other thing"

im starting to get manageophobic

Being a team leader some times sucks have to take responsibility for everyone's elses functionality that doesn't work or wasn't tested in production. Leads often ends up working overtime fixing everyone elses work :(

When your workstation has 32Go of ram but run 32-bits Os and applications, because a legacy app that a department somewhere doesn't work otherwise.

Everyday Problems.
It doesn't work...... WHY?
It works! ..... Why :P

When your tracking software doesn't work

Wfh doesn't mean extended work hours I have a life too you know

Windows: "works, but..."
Linux: "doesn't work, but..."

Ah, love it when my code doesn't work because it's commented out and I have no fucking idea when I did that :)

Why does Linux Bluetooth audio not work properly!!!!
I have been using Linux on my laptop (moving from macOS). I got so used to Linux, and I love it so much at this point, but I really wanna use my Bluetooth speakers (subwoofer ❤️❤️).

So, now, I have to use OSX again and I am actually disliking it.

WHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!

YOOO Product owner if you don't specify which freaking page something doesn't work I CANNOT DO ANYTHING FOR YOU!!!!

when your code doesn't work and you're stuck for hours and start to question your career choices...

Ok. Third coffee doesn't work appearntly. Anyone has any fix?

*Sigh* Hope my work doesn't catch me Stalin

When your code doesn't work but Game of Thrones is starting

why does my project doesn't work on production...?

I have a rule for maintaining sanity. It only works if you job doesn't have you on-call. And it saves me a of stress:

Don't think about work when you're not at work.

I've finally got a monitor at work that works with Samsung Dex.
Positive things:
- new super cool monitor
- can remove windows now from the dual boot of the laptop since everything I needed it for can be now done on Dex.

Negative things:
- DevRant doesn't work with Dex. It just doesn't load properly. But maybe it will work through a browser. Need to test...

Wanted to have Samsung Dex for work, so I can run office on it and kick windows from my dual boot laptop.
Dex pad was on sale.
Bought it.
Brought it to work.
Work monitor doesn't have hdmi.
...
fuck. <.<
I'll ask the technician later if he either has a monitor flying around he doesn't need or an adapter or something.

When a complaint form doesn't work on a website..
Is that a bug or a feature?

Oh and the online chat is a bot.

when you need two things to work: the 1st works and the 2nd doesn't and then you fix the 2nd thing but the 1st stops working...this was not a negotiation! I need both things to work!

We just started a new project at work

The best part: You can't break production if it doesn't exist yet!

Snapchat's face swap doesn't work. Twins know it.

>Hey, my code doesn't work. Can you check why?

There are no comments...

Code doesn't work?
Better change nothing and run it again.

Co-worker that is awesome at copying and pasting and later asks for help cause something doesn't work.

Got an update for Firefox 😊 ->
Updated Firefox 🎉 ->
Got a sticky popup that asks if I would answer 3 review questions, why not? 🙄 ->
Went to a fucking website that uses my fucking IP to identify my fucking language automatically, and the result is the one you can see in the image,
half fucking German and half fucking English,
meanwhile I'm the turd from fucking Italy!

Firefox, I didn't knew you like it 🤬 black (pattern(UX))

Message for ALL, take my example and WHENEVER THERE'S A TURD THAT SUGGESTS TO IMPLEMENT THE fucking LOCALIZATION BASED ON IP ADDRESSES, SAY THAT IT DOESN'T WORK, NEVER WORKED(not my first time elsewhere on the web) AND NEVER FUCKING WILL 😤

Fuck any system that doesn't work when you simply restore its database. I'm looking at you Piwiki.

Doesn't work
I hate my life
fuck this shit
Oh I used the wrong list
*jumps from the top of the mountain*

So I decided to try out Kubuntu 18.10, aaaaand it doesn't work too well for me. Oh well, back to 18.04 :v

1/3

after two days of intense javascript i had a few difficult minutes to realize that concatenation in php doesn't work with +

If plan A doesn't work, just remember there are 25 more letters.

another night spent on discovering how it doesn't work.

The moment when client test team rejects a fix as it "doesn't work" when it's clear they haven't read the documentation 😂

Everyone wants my time, but doesn't appreciate the work I do. How does that add up?

Work from home, it doesn't stop the procrastination but it makes it less of a problem. Start a bit later, finish a bit later.

Doesn't work in IE

They: It doesn't work on my machine.
Me: It got 100+ votes on Stackoverflow and comments were mostly 'it worked'.

Be developing in python 3
$ pip install <library>
Don't understand for hours why it doesn't work
I should alias pip3

It's 2019 and text-overflow: ellipsis still doesn't work with multiline texts. What the actual fuck

Does anyone else work with that one guy who doesn't know anything and always asking others to do his work, butt in the scrum meeting his daily updates would make management think he was Bjarne Stroustrup reincarnated?

Spent 5 hours adding a library to js AND IT STILL DOESN'T WORK

help/kill me pls

What the hell is wrong with the browser on iOS....
For Christ sakes almost no input attributes work. I have a Sign Up feature that validates passwords with a pattern attribute; doesn't work, required attribute; doesn't work, input type number; doesn't work.
What the fuck is wrong with this thing. Even Internet Explorer knows what those attributes means. Absolute joke now i need to implement it manually. Fuck off apple.

Reading 1 tutorial/ part of the documentation
Trying it on my own
Realize that your code doesn't work
Googling the problem
Fixing it
Repeat

When the logical way doesn't work, I have to get creative.

Working on something...

-Hun?! Why the hell doesn't it work?

Attempt a few fixes...

-Still doesn't work? Damn what am i doing wrong?

Attempt other changes...

-Why is it still not working!?

Debug step by step, validate my values are fine...

-Why does my output not correspond to my values!?! What the hell is this black magic!?

Rebuild the same solution for the 5th time...

-...Why does it work now...

"We don't have a responsive layout so just do what you think is best"

(builds responsive layout)

"This responsive layout doesn't work as we expected"

(sends 5 pages of notes on how mobile layout should work)

You know you have been coding with CSS Preprocessor for far too long when you typed this in regular stylesheet and wondering why it doesn't work...

#container {
.wrapper {
text-align: center;
}
}

Why the font doesn't align to center!!! @&$#+%*^

Do love it when your code works and the system to implement it works.
But when you run it, it doesn't work.
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

Some facepalm things I've discovered recently:

- Node's require("http") doesn't work for https - you have to require("https") specifically.

- Mongofiles (command line utility for Mongo, imports files as GridFS) cannot input more than one file at a time. Regex doesn't work. [Ended up making a puny Powershell script to do it].

- Airtable doesn't let you download your attachments, even if you export a csv - it's just a url to the image on their cloud.

It's been an exhausting day.

when you work in a start up, and they give you the projects lead old chair, which has broken. doesn't go up or down, doesn't lock, and is ripped in several places.

I'm really feeling the love. hello sore back...

When chrome decides that you have to press alt + backspace to go back and it doesn't even work 😢

Goodbye HipChat, hello Slack.

After doing ANOTHER update to fix the connectivity issue with the Windows client after waking from sleep, it still doesn't work.

Threading in Java doesn't work properly with swing,i'm sad..hopefully it will work with Java FX

I just copied the exact same code from another program into mine, actually left out a loop because I didn't need it. Also took some other stuff out, nothing much, just some var = othervar that I didn't need.

The other program, from where I copied the code, works fine, is fast, I see no issue, has been in production for a while now and no complaints. Mine, WITH THE SAME CODE, doesn't move. I don't understand how this is possible.

Monday: service deploy.
Friday evening: compilation and jar execution doesn't work anymore, on local machines or on server.
Nice.

"Smart" working doesn't mean stay online for 8 hours straight but at a different desk.

It means "be smart about your work" - if I'm done with my work then I'm f***ing done with my work.

Ramadan and dev work can either go really hand in hand, or it doesn't :(

My code doesn't work> I have no idea why !
My code works> I have no idea why !
........ :-/ ........

Do love it when I copy the selector via the inspect tool and I use it in my JQuery selector and it still doesn't work!

Identical configuration.
Application won't find proper base URL locally.
Application will find proper base URL on test and prod instances.
Excuse me, what the FUCK?

Just because I don't believe in "the mission", doesn't mean I am not coming in and not giving up to ~60% every work day.

Oh cool, telnet peek/poke on PS3... oh, it only works with the debug toolbox open so it doesn't work for anything else. Disappoint.

Having Technical Product Managers who say "it doesn't work, I dont know what, but do your job and find out."

Screw OpenAI gym!

This piece of shit, frozen lake, doesn't even work properly!

Gaaàaaaæaaáaaãaaaaâaaåaaäaāaaah!

I'm used to use Facebook from browser, but recently it doesn't work and 9 times out of 10 it has random bugs, doesn't load newsfeed, doesn't load images and so on. Today I needed to sell an object and it didn't work, so I installed Facebook Lite just for this. And guess? It doesn't work too! The groups are buggy in the app, once you enter in the subscription page, it doesn't let you do any action and doesn't let you go back.

So that's the top website in the world, isn't it?

when my code doesn't work for no reason.

if it works with 6 common browsers it is definitely solely my fault if the site doesn't work with your niche product. thanks for the constructive input today of 'doesn't work' for this nine year old site containing photos of your grandchildren dad.

That moment you test in chrome, but doesn't work in Firefox.... *sight* .... fuck dammit... hey, at least is not IE10....

My code doesn't work and I don't know why.

I cleared cache, my code doesn't work, and I still don't know why.

I cleared cache, reloaded vagrant, my code doesn't work, and I still don't know why.

I left my desk, got some coffee, checked devRant, refreshed my browser, my code worked, and I still don't know why!

Programming in a nutshell:

"I changed nothing and it now doesn't work. Why?"
"I changed nothing and it now works. Why?"

I usually like PHP, because it is easy to use, but FUCK! Can you just let me free the fucking memory by myself? Setting variable to null doesn't work, unset doesn't work either. I am still getting fucking memory exhausted error.
There is literally no data stored anywhere, because I unset every fucking thing.
gc_collect_cycles() doesn't work either, probably because this crap thinks there is a reference for this variable somewhere.

When the wifi connection in my university doesn't work...

And I was wondering why the progress bar doesn't work

Tfw your code work one day but when you return the next day it doesn't.

I hate having to use Windows 10 for work 😭

And the laptop doesn't have an HDMI port and also doesn't connect to my monitor using an adapter 😕

I live share to my mac as a workaround, but that has its own problems :/

I f****** hate CSS and bootstrap is a piece of s*** when it doesn't work. Who agrees?

smh when you post an answer to SO and OP says it doesn't work, then accepts an identical answer.

My friend is telling me to switch from Linux to Windows because Discord doesn't work properly on Linux... 😔

I feel so useless when code doesn't work do to an external library out of my control

(Protobuf support for python 3.7 sucks)

Run program

Doesn't work

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Open code to look at it again

Dont touch anytghing

0 (zero) modifications

Run again

It works

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

You know you're going through extreme insanity once you start a class for the third time and it still doesn't work as planned

When devrant doesn't work :/