My last night:
- Had nothing much to work on.
- Opened a porn site to spend sometime.
- Clicked on some really good video.
- Realized full screen isn't working on the page.
- Fired up JS console, spent the next 30 minutes trying to get the video part full screen. Failed!
- Opened up Google & navigated through stackoverflow looking for the fix. Still couldn't do it.
- Cursed the website for having a bad design.
- Left the site.

Bad UI = No Fuck.

I fucked up hard for the first time yesterday at work.

Came in and expected a huge speech from the bossman.

He called me to his office:

Explained me where I went wrong and what I should do next time with a big smile on his face!

So I accidentally published my AWS keys to GitHub, stupid me. I realize this the next day.

$ git reset
$ git push
Reset keys in AWS

I was too late. Bot already stole the keys and started up 53 EC2 instances. Racked up $4000+ of compute time (probably Bitcoin mining, I'd assume)

4 weeks later, I finally have this shit disputed and settled.

Don't test with hardcoded keys. You WILL forget about them. Env vars always. That is all.

Got semi drunk and thought "Now would be a good time to implement this feature"
*Codes for 2 hours straight without compiling once*
"Done. Good night"

The next morning:
Gets up and tries out feature
*Fixes 2 syntax errors/typos*
*Tries again*
*Feature works*

Overheard from the room next to mine:
Person 1: My computer is frozen ..
Person 2 (Not a native English speaker): Did you try to shut down and shut up ?

We are required to say “leaving for the day” when we leave office. (On slack)

One developer decided to quit and just said “leaving “ and we realised the next day what he meant when he did not show up 😂😂😂

!rant

I've always wanted to son to enjoy the the same feeling I get when I'm developing. Today my son pulled up a chair next to me and started asking questions about my code, it's safe to say I got those proud dad feels.

Feels good man, feels real good.

Dear Misinformed idiots,
Just because you watched Silicon Valley doesn't mean you actually understand how Software Development works.
-We don't sit in front of a screen in an AC room googling funny pictures
-We don't think of new Algorithms by pretending to be jerking.
-We don't "get lucky" with our code, it takes hours of studying and research to come up with a solution which actually works.
-And we definitely can't just "create the *next* Google", THAT is not how it works.
I swear to the God ya'll love and cherish, the next person to approach me to turn their shit idea into "The next big thing", I'll leave everything aside and drive a screwdriver through your neck.

- An Engineer tired of everyone's never ending shit storm.

* Starts work with boss
* Works till night
* Decide to continue the next day
* Both leave work at the same time
* Both arrive at work next day at the same time

"Hey is the work done?"

Oh forgive me for not fucking dreaming up the work in my fucking sleep.

That moment when you spend an entire afternoon trying to eradicate a problem but give up at the end of the day, and then solve it in 10minutes the next morning.

Damn you dev life !

The next person who calls the server disruption/emergency line for something that is NOT related to a server wide issue/outage is going to get a rusty pipe with fucking sambal up their fucking ass.

I am so fucking done with this bullshit.

Get a call saying password incorrect.

*Me testing login details*.... Works fine.

Tell user that it was a typo.
*They get angry*
*They start whispering to coworker "oh so it's a capital?!"

Next thing I hear, NVM I found the issue.

*Hangs up*

> finds files called "?" and "?.pub" in home directory. Not sure how they ended up there.
> tries deleting files
> rm ?*
> hits enter and realizes the disaster the very next moment
> cries in corner

Manager: *taps dev on shoulder* We need to do B

Dev: I know, you created a ticket for it yesterday

Manager: Yeah but it hasn’t been done yet. It needs to get done.

Dev: I’m currently working on A which is higher priority

Manager: Ok but B needs to be done too

Dev: I know, it’s next on my board

Manager: I’m just making sure you are aware of it

Dev: I am aware of it, it’s next on the board

Manager: Ok but make sure you do it after A

Dev: Yup it’s next up

Manager: Ok, don’t let anyone distract you

Dev: …

1. Find bug
2. Try 3 methods of fixing
3. All fail
4. Tell yourself you're trying for the LAST time then you'll go on to something else
5. End up trying 5 more times
6. Repeat step 4 20 times
7. Cry
8. Finally take a break
9. Return next day, try another method, it works instantly

FML!

Can't ssh to my vps at work; hello new hobby project!
(server hosted on vps, http request -> shell -> http response)
Next up is supporting an interactive shell

Coming up next: MongoDB vs Docker

Dev: What do you think of the new version of the app?

Client: It’s great! We just have a couple notes of feedback we are working on compiling. We should have those to you by next week.

*Next week*

Client: We need another week to compile all of this feed back we are generating

*Another week goes by*

Client: Still working on it, it’s going to be a really thorough review when you get it though. No stone will be left unturned!

*2 weeks later*

Client: Here it is!

Attached: A word document with a single line of text “can’t nobody log in” next to a picture of the login screen with a red circle drawn around the login button

Client: Can you hurry up and action our feedback? We want to go live next week

Dev: …

A guy is sitting at a bar when the guy next to him lights up a cigarette. Horrified, the guy turns to him and says "hey! Don't you know the surgeon general warns that cigarettes can cause cancer!?" The guy next to him replies "I'm a software developer, I don't care about warnings. Only errors"

!rant

A: "Hi, I'm A, I'm the CEO of X, we had this project I'd like you to do for me"
Me: "Hi, can I have more details about the project?"
A: "Ah yes, this is some kind of e-commerce for our start-up, we need you to do a web app, iOS, and Android app in 1 month"
Me: "OK we can do it in 2 month."
A: "OK we'll let you know our decision tomorrow"

(next month)
A: "Sorry we have to postpone this project"

(next 5 month)
A: "Hi! now I'm building this Y start-up and we need you to help us migrate our android app to web"
Me: (Looks feasible than his last project) "OK, I can do it"
A: "Can we meet tomorrow?"
Me: "OK"
(tomorrow)
Me: "Hello? where will we meet?"
Me: "?"

(next month)
A: "Hi! Sorry for not replying, can we meet this week for the Y project?"
Me: (...)

Guns should be illegal. Otherwise I swear I'll end up shooting someone the next time they ask me to "implement this feature, it will only take 5 mins".

Those who don't know programming should keep their "expert advice" to themselves

Every week is the same. Wake up, new jira ticket. “Build us a pink house”.

*i build a house*

Next day, “URGENT BUG REPORT!!! CRITICAL ISSUE IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT”, click on ticket, “bug report: the house doesn’t have sprinklers”

They didn’t ask for sprinklers. This is not a bug. *i add sprinklers*

Next day, “URGENT BUG REPORT!!! CRITICAL ISSUE IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT ASAP ASAP ASAP”, click on ticket, “bug report: the house is pink.”

HOW IS THAT A BUG TWO DAYS AGO IT WAS LITERALLY A REQUIREMENT

Meanwhile management makes triple my salary

Next up:
Facebook buys Gitlab

Don't you love when you spend the whole night trying to find the cause of an elusive bug, then you give up, you go to sleep, and the next morning after only 30s of looking at the code you finally find it and fix it?

Up next "Silicon Valley Season 4".

Almost got my manhood out at work.

There I was in deep thought needing the toilet but wanted to get a coffee first. So I get up go to the kitchen and catch myself next to the bin unzipping.

I wanted a computer for my Christmas. Must have been 1987 and I just have been about 8.

A few days before Xmas my aunt gave me a card with £5 in it. I asked my dad “dad, if I was getting a computer I could use the £5 to buy a game”

My dad explained to me that we couldn’t afford it and maybe next year.

Woke up the next morning to a shiny new Commodore 64 AND my own little tv.

Never been happier.

Wondering around some code and I found:

// The next few lines of code should be fairly self-explanatory
// ...

Well if it were so self-explanatory then why TF putting up a comment here!!

Git blame file

Oh sugar it was written by me...

A supervisor in my first job , he also taught me to pick up girls in bars.

Hell he picked up a girl whilst I was throwing up on a train 😂, literally right next to me 😅 talented man

He made me want to be better then him at programming ... Not picking up girls. So now I am and got my own company doing it ... All due to a strange bromance

Am I the only one who occasionally gets up from the bed, in the middle of the night, to write down an idea that could potentially fix a bug next morning?

That time I joined the robotics club and made the pid loop for the robot was one of my favorite projects. I learned ROS, and I created the entire chain of software and hardware to control six motors. That one project set up my experience for the next 4 years and led to a few jobs. I miss robotics.

Fucking fuck you fucking fucked up fuckery.

I got fired and signed mortgage at the same day. Well looks like next two months going to be fun.

Time to get drunk.

I was sleeping next to my wife and suddenly I raised my hand and shouted "gaaaa", when she asked what is wrong, I replied
"Kubernetes is misbehaving"
without waking up

I'm pissed off 😠!
Why you might ask, well....

So I woke up, went to my pc to see if destiny 2 had finished downloading!
1. My dog shit right next to my pc
2. Destiny 2 wasn't downloaded (after 13 hours)

I lost motivation and focus on the company where I worked for 12 years.
And after 12 years I quit my job last week.
I'll work for a new company next month.
And I won't wait another 12y if I won't be satisfied or disrespected.
Never give up.

I once figured out a fix for my bug in my dream. Luckily, I woke up at 2 in the morning and wrote the fix down and went back to sleep. The next morning, the whole thing felt like a dream.

Our company just had a meeting with another company which are our main investors for a project for the next quarter. I sit down next to my team lead and we all wait for their last HR person to arrive. Ten minutes later a girl which I hooked up with last week walks in and sits next to the other company's "main boss". Spoiler alert, she is the bosses daughter.

We might pull out from the project but I sure didn't last week.

I hope this rant doesn't get deleted...

I told everyone that the next day is off. Everyone took it seriously and nobody showed up.

In middle of debugging an issue. Phone rings. While picking up mobile accidentally falls on laptop keyboard. Next thing I see is BSOD. Shows SYSTEM_THREAD_ERROR_NOTHANDLED. Are you serious?

Actual conversation today with one of my remote developer teammates in Ukraine

Me: "next up I'd like to discuss the 'bigger picture' so you have context for the next tasks..."

Dev (after an hour or so and some chat in between...): "Yes, could you please send more details about a large images issue?"

Me (somewhat perplexed): "what are you... oh! Haha"

😂😂😂

Saw this at my local coffee shop. Whatever will they come up with next.

When the stupidest people on the planet move in next to you and burn nearly everything you own to the ground...and don't even have the courtesy to wake you up before getting out of the building themselves.

Client: "My proposed deadline can't be met? Maybe we should go to your office and sit right next to you to see how you work."
Yeah right, that surely speeds things up. Even if the ever-changing requirements require at least triple of the time allowed.

My wife left to pick up our oldest kid from school and to later buy her outfits to start ballet.

I work from home, but am still on work hours. I sit on the couch next to our baby that is sleeping.

my wife when she leaves: look, she's asleep, just bring your laptop here and try to work.
me: ok I will

(10 minutes later)
me: ok I'll get the laptop now
me: *get up, pick the laptop, sit down again*
baby: wakes the fuck up

I swear to god this thing has fucking movement sensors.

Coffee at 7 am.
Coffee at 1 pm.
Coffee at 7:30 pm.
Sleep at midnight.
Wake up at 6:30.
Repeat.

Do you have a better procedure for maximising performance?

I have a deadline next Monday...

Behold the results of photoshopping pictures for the last 3 weeks....

Now I should be able to delete 10GB of RAWs from my 256GB SSD....

Next up, the 4 hours of videos.... and my interview tomorrow.... wish me luck?

The newest addition to our lab - Pikachu!
We managed to overcome the weirdest pinout configuration ever on the MCU and power up the Nvidia Jetson.
Next week I'm going to make a clean install of the Jetson because there is some funky garbage there, and then I'll try to drive the little beast :)

Hey @dfox - How about "your worst fuck up" as the topic for the next weekly rant?

Got devRantron up and running and it's already found a place next to my editor :D

Now if only image uploads were working...

OK I live in lithuania, small country, my grandparents live in silute, super small city, the internet is shit here, I need to use my mobile data to program, next day I wake up to this graph explaining me how I lost all of my fucking data😤

When you stay up late doing a personal project the night before a workday -- knowing damn well you're going to be too tired to do anything the next day -- and have no one to blame but yourself 😁

Pretty simple oversight in a SQL pull led someone to run about 3,300 background checks that had already been run. Somebody told me we spend $25 per check, which would have totaled around $84,000. It ended up being much less, but for a good 40 minutes I assumed I'd be looking for other work the next day.

Idiots. Idiots everywhere. The next big trend in software engineering is to take a whole bunch of idiots, give them the basic knowledge to write code, and then dedicate a whole lot of competent developers' time to either fixing errors made by those idiots, or attempting to make "safer" tools so those idiots don't screw up as easily.

Next task list of an Adobe developer:

1. Fuck something up so that the user has to google for the simplest possible functionality.

Who invented the open space office layout? If you're as unlucky as me, you end up sitting next to the protein junkie who pops open a tin of tuna mixed with some other shit that's there just because it smells horrible almost hourly, or you end up next to the PM whose desk is gossip central and by the end of the day you know "Sheila" is sleeping with her brother in law, and "Steve" has a tiny weiner.

Feeling very sleepy.

Me: Just one more feature and am off to bed.

Completes feature using 2x normal time.

Me: I just did a feature whiles feeling sleepy, I can do it again.

Can't think, can't type. But won't stop.
Wake up next day. What the f*** did I do here ?

I don't exist anymore.
💤💤💤

I did a stream last night with 4 other devs/ sysops. The theme were ranting and alcohol, lasted for almost 8 hours.
When I woke up this afternoon, I regret it all, but totally doing it next month too

Me: I need an SSL certificate.

Support: No problem. Just fire up your command line and generate one via OpenSSL.

Me: I'm on Windows.

Support: Ok, so what you do is code a Linux command line from scratch that will run in Powershell. Next, compile OpenSSL from your favorite of 60,000 versions available. Now, just fire it up and you're all set.

Me: Goodbye everything I've ever enjoyed doing in my free time.

A new producer started to pick up where the previous guy had rage quit. He looked at our sprint plan and announced it.

"According to this schedule, by these estimates, to hit our goal we have to somehow all work 27 hours a day, 7 days a week, for the next month."

Tries to be an ass to someone annoying, somehow ends up being nice to them. *facepalm*

--next day--

Tries to be nice to someone, ends up being an ass to them. *sigh*

First day as teacher - ok guys we're going to learn good lesson today, open up your terminals and write the next command sudo rm -rf /

-I just visited my nephew, I wasn't their teacher

That horrific feeling when the code that worked last night.. suddenly stops working the next morning... And the debugging continues..
Ending up identifying a new corner case.....

So my mom says her printer isn't working anymore. I sit and battle with drivers and mysteriously missing virtual usb ports for two hours, give up, we decide to buy a new printer.

Next day she says her scanner isn't working either.

It's only then that I notice her USB hub cable is unplugged.. aargh.

Guy sitting next to me sees me coding, gets excited, and asks "OH, THAT'S COOL... what do you do?"

In my head I'm thinking: I... CODE.... ur watching me code.... I do exactly what you see me doing!

Not knowing how to answer, I just end up staring at him for 10 seconds.

Arduino just Rick Roll'd me. Their buzzer example code plays the tune...so I hooked it up to a photosensor and threw it in a cabinet...next time my wife opens the cabinet, the light flooding in will trigger the song. I have a comfy couch 😂

Sooo, I just heard yesterday that Apple is setting up a new data centre near me in the next 5-8 years, but they need to build a power transformer first. Me thinks that should be enough time for a degree and some work experience before applying for a job there

Just came up and outlined my next personal project... at 5am...

Anyone else solve technical problems while in bed?

Cleaning up code...

var screenshotPanel = $(this).parent().parent().parent().parent().next().next();

Kill me now.

Regarding my last rant:
I have all my 3 Raspberrys set up for seti@home now, reporting to twitter and my own "surveillance" system for them.
The system is still ugly, the code is ugly but that's getting improved next!

1. No more fucked up solutions like: React Native, Flutter, Xamarine, Phonegap, Ionic
2. Make XCode vanish and put a better IDE instead of it
3. Keep "the next bill gates" away from me, those who keep on saying: I have an idea its like Facebook but different

When you trying to psych yourself up before your next code review. 🤣

DigitalOcean, beyond doubt

You might argue that having everything in a single place is bad, but having domain management right next to my servers is really nice. Spinning up new VMs with just a few clicks, and then being able to take it down again five minutes later is a blessing.

Boss: I want Module 4 (regular complexity) done by tomorrow.
Me: *with not enough experience to get it done within a day. Still does it by staying up all night*

Next Day

Boss: I didn't want this, skip rest of the modules and jump to Module 10 (extremely complex) and I want it tomorrow.

Me: ;_;

*Awesome compile-bomb in 29 bytes*

If you want to hang up your machine, just compile this code

main[-1u]={1};

With next command line

gcc -mcmodel=medium cbomb.c -o cbomb

It will result in ~16GB executable file (if you have that memory and computer power)

So I tried to set up Google AdSense on my website to show ads and earn some $... Next day AdSense console tells me that they've found "Adult: Sexual content" on my site. Like, WTF? There was nothing of such sort.

!rant

Was on the public bus on the way to work... was snoozing on a seat next to a window when a droplet from the air-con vent dropped in my mouth... instantly woke up.

Guess I found my not-so-reliable alt caffine source.

This popped up on Best Buy while I was looking around for ideas for my next chair. Somehow I don't think they are on speaking terms with their daughter anymore 🤣

So, I got a ticket to make a page using a given wireframe that had submit buttons and other buttons to add more items in the wireframe.

So, I pull the html, hook up the abilty to submit the form and add items, and send it out for review.

One comment on the review.

"Remove the functionality, you'll handle it in the next ticket"

So I commented out the javascript. Guess what I'm doing on the next 10 minutes.

Currently on train, listening music and browsing devRant. Music stops for a while and all I can hear is a person <A> saying: I'm not able to use so shitty operating system. I look up and see iPhone on <A>'s hand. Next to <A> sits an Android user <B>.

Not trying to spread bias about anyone. Just drives me mad, that people are turning down anything unfimilar so easily. Or maybe person <B> is trying to force <A> to use Android. 😲️

Next up on Public Trasportation - Human Behaviour Observations and Analysis: Ackwardness and Mental Get-Away Methods.

Github is having issues right now. I'm remembering fond memories of having a local gitlab server...

My heart is telling me yes, but experience is telling me I wont care next week and I'll just spend a few hours setting up a server for no reason.

I just became a supporter of devRant!

I fucking love this place, and feel I've spent enough time here already to make it worthwhile...don't think I'm going anywhere anytime soon.

In unrelated news, Markey's CRA for net neutrality just needs one more vote to get started on the next hurdle. That said, I had a dream last night about Ajit Pai becoming fucking Jim Jones and poisoning us all...and to wake up the next day and find out about a potential antidote being successful is awesome!!!

PM: are you free next week for an hour to catch up?
Me: sure no problem
PM: Does tomorrow 15:00 work?

Me: hmm 🤔 is today thursday or is it sunday already?

Next major version of spring will require Java 17.

Bloody finally. Hope this gives corporations the kick up the behind they need to move beyond 8.

Taking a class in school where we are learning C++. The kid sitting next to me never listens. Had a couple of errors, added a few cout lines in which he put "count" instead of cout and ended up with 108 errors. That class is going to be so difficult for him..

2 in 1

How I fucking hate people that are over apologetic, but don't actually learn anything out of it, maybe next time you do the same fucking mistake again, I'll shove a fucking spiked metal rod up your ass and twist it, so next time you sit down you seemingly still fucking feel it and remember to check beforehand to avoid the fucking issue, you fucking buffoon.

--

Another thing I'd stick a rusty crackneedle pipe up somebodys internals is "for each day late we will penalize 500$ from the budget" while the budget is like 2k, go fuck yourself and eat your cash, with your "30 day challenge" job, you fucking cumstain.

I'm on this fair and there are suits walking almost everywhere!

Even in the "Tech" area.

Like 'a-bit-to-confident' ducks with their heads up in the cloud exposing their throat while walking right into my sharp blade. Inexorable stumbling headless right over the edge of the next bridge, hitting the rails with their rubies. Helpless, waiting to get caught by the next hype-train.

*sigh*

Got married. Best day of my life. Woke up the next morning to my wife on one side and a fuck load of messages from my boss asking me to fix shit. Quit shortly thereafter.

After long hours of intensive coding and no caffeine, goto bed because u realise it's 2AM. Wake up next day, look back at the came code, "what the hell was I tryin to do!"

I decided to start learning go yesterday.
I had a Fun little automation task at hand and got to work...

The next time I checked the clock it was monday 02:40 AM

Getting up at 06:10 was hard...

Show up for job interview 15 minutes early. Interviewer is over an hour late. I left. Doesn't even apologize the same day. Instead, he e-mails me the next day pleading for another chance. I didn't respond.

I can smell something awesome gonna come up in next devRant update 🙌🏼 Any guess guys?

My pm requested me to estimate few tasks on a new project(single page app), the problem was that he was creator of these tasks, so we ended up with

- Create back button
- Create next button
- Create table with contents
... etc

As I prefer to take things literally I estimated each task as they literally should (5 min for adding buttons etc). So all tasks together were estimated for about 5h, while whole project was estimated for 100MD. After few talks and discussions we ended up with:

- Create back button
- Create back button logic
- Create next button
- Create next button logic
etc

They say: Luck is when you have somebody you love next to you.

I say: Luck is when I run code and no errors pop up...

The times when you just can't fall asleep and have to do something just to pass the time and end up getting up in the afternoon next day are the worst.

My bi-annual ritual:
1. Get home after 5 months
2. By cheap ear/head-phones
3. Use them for the next 5 months till they wear out
4. Repeat
😂😂

Also watches. But I gave up on those back in school.😛

Debugged a complex bug at 10 PM, drunk and eating potato wedges, while on the phone with another drunk co worker.

Woke up next morning and had no memory of the fix.

13, my boss told me multiple times to leave, but I had to (for myself) fix someones fuck up first otherwise interns had nothing useful to do in the morning.

Got the next morning a few hours off to make up for that time.

Almost. There.

Should hit 2,000 by the time I finish wrap up my next two projects!

Me: "Sweet new Xcode update"
Me: "I'm sure they fixed all the bugs"
*starts download*
Xcode: "Want to upgrade to the latest Swift syntax?"
Me:
*clicks yes*
Me:
Me: "Fuck it, next release is 'fully rewritten from the ground up'"

I just finished up an absolute cesspool of a project. I was seriously reconsidering a career change to something less stressful, like welding on a high-rise building, or capturing Somali pirates.

Next project is supposed to be a walk in the park, and probably still will be.

MGR: You're starting a new project next week. Prismic for the CMS, and NextJS.
ME: Oh, okay, cool. Well, let me get up to speed on Prismic and Next since I haven't used either of those.
Spent some time last week - easy enough, nothing really new/ground breaking here.

Sprint 0.5 Kick off meeting today
MGR: By the way, we're still using Prismic for the CMS, but we're gonna go ahead and use Gatsby instead of Next.
Me: ... *facepalm

Bless whoever came up with Scrum! Now when the PO requests a change from me, I get to tell him: "please refer to the scrum master and discuss potentially adding your suggestions into the backlog items for the next sprint."

I may have come up with the next big thing in entertainment!

You can watch a live feed of me, while I'm watching a live feed of someone playing a video game.

Here's a sneak peak:
I'm sitting there looking incredibly bored and every 30-45 seconds I make a comment about how stupid this is.

*sigh* woke up did a data export for the customer, send it to them then they reply "thanks but it's next weekend we wanted the data export not this one" checked the email and they were correct.

Today we kick off the project with the client, it's due in 3 months but client ask me if I can "feed the virtual machine" and "set up a website to preview the final result" for next Monday...

It seems that every Pi day, I end up with a new Raspberry Pi that I got sometime before it. First, a 1, then a 2+3, now I have a Zero as well. Next year, I'll have a cluster of 3s. No reason, just want to mess with it.

Hello NDC! Three days of conference, learning stuff, coffee, motivation, meeting people, coffee, good food, coffee!

I love NDC (Norwegian Developer Conference), it's my ninth time. I just watched Jon Skeet talk about C#8, up next is some Azure stuff. Anybody else here?

Just finished reviewing a 9700+ line PR. Next up: contemplating my life decisions.

Having the coder anxiety, can't finish code in one sitting, getting anxious, not eating because cannot eat while in the middle of something "important". Trying to finish it anyway, getting more tired, staying up too late, losing concentration on the next day and doing it all over again...

That feeling when you spend hours trying to fix something, only to give up.

Then you come back he next day and find you were missing a comma...

After a week of logs investigation, we finally found a solution for performance issue. Just scaled up the app vertically to the next tier plan in Azure.

OK so after working with SDL for a bit, we have a circle rendering!

Next step is to start working on keyboard input and then onto importing sprites, first time building a game engine from the ground up and working with Vala in this capacity...

EDIT: Gif in comments because it doesn't want to work .-.

I wonder what data type dfox uses to store the voting score. We definitely know it's not a byte. Next up, let's test if it's an int16

I have set up a raspberry pi and screwed it with some switches and buttons to the wall next to my bed, so I don't have pick the remote which lays on my shelf...
The pi handles the buttons and switches and sends infrared signals to TV, stereo and receiver ^^

So I'm about to finish The Design of Everyday things by Don Norman and I have Clean Code coming up next.

But what are some good programming books that are tech agnostic?

Last couple of days as a dev at this job. I'm polishing up my documentation and making sure my reference guides are up-to-date. All the while knowing that my documentation, tools, and tests will likely never be touched. They'll sit on a share drive somewhere, like ancient tomes, while the next devs re-invent the wheel. So it goes.

Guessing which features are coming up in devRant next release 🤔

Latex, can you for once be nice and not fuck up my images, please?

Can you stop pushing this image which you clearly have enough space for to the next page and leave the previous page completely empty??

So, I have a coding task that takes several days to complete. How can I pick up the next day where I left off the night before? I find it difficult to get straight back into the flow because I first have to find my way around the previous day's code. Any tips?

I finally quit being a stubborn ass and started using cloud storage. well that's quite a few gigs saved off of photos and docs. now no longer have to remote in to grab files. next month setting up plex

13 weeks of internship turned into 2 github folders in a master repository for the next intern to pick up on wow I feel a little insignificant but I also know that I'm definitely more prepared for my next programming adventure with the skills I learned from this experience

Genius UI design: the text next to latest news changes between 2 and 3 lines, and every time that happens the entire website gets pushed up and down. I thought my touchpad was going crazy for doing phantom scrolls, but no, it’s that same incompetent designer from my previous rant.

Just realized my next comback to PM:
No, we can't deliver yet, we need further testing before we are ready. I mean we don't want to end up in a situation similar to exploding batteries right?

Next weeks rant theme should be worst dev day.
Any how today I fucked up at a whole new level. First ran a script thinking I am deleting my local dev environment.

*An Eternity later*

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkk

That dreaded script ran on main dev server and fucked up the server used by a team of 15+ teammates. Dead.

@dfox - Idea for weekly rant - worst candidate that showed up to a job interview.

Had a solid resume, claimed to be a Java king, top notch. First question after he sat down: How to create a thread-safe singleton in Java using double-checked locking?

Guy didn't know the answer. - NEXT!

"Company Policy requires you to complete data awareness course"

Open up link, press next 30 times and exit before the quiz marks the action as Complete,

My Balls do like HR

For those of you that have a blog...
Ever have this moment where you do one relatively minor thing and end up spending the next hour writing a blogpost about it?

I have resigned from my current organisation. The HR guy here is kinda my friend. He asked me about my next organisation and my position there.
After listening to my reply, he asked my personal email id and forwarded his resume there.

The irony doesn't end here. The HR girl who was talking to me on behalf of the next organisation, told me today that tomorrow is her last day and introduced me to her colleague who will be my point of contact.

The HR people are so messed up.

How to conduct yourself in a job interview
Simple test"Write a for loop".
First, write some nonsense bullshit for twenty minutes. Then, when you realize time is up, pass to the next question. After write more nonsense bullshit in SQL and jQuery, it's time to breath fast and panic.
Deliver your exam.
Pack your stuff and go to a cave where nobody ever will find you, cry the next three years and commit to a life of self punishment, shame and tears.
That's how you nail a job interview, suckers.

Stackoverflow(ed)!!

Lucky to see this today.
Must say, the very next page refresh the site was up.

Don't know if it was really a maintenance or just an alternative message in some cases.

Had this been continued for some more time then many tasks' dev completion dates would have got affected. 😬

By far the stupidest thing I've done while drunk is setting up a layered LVM-over-RAID1 + striped LVM storage system *and* managing not to lose any data.

Next time I ran `lsblk` and realized how that structure came to be I kinda turned white.

So, you have some coffee, make up your mind, and sit down to begin the project you need to submit the next day.

You fire up the machine and bam! Windows takes it's April update - "Do not turn off your PC", and a fucking rotation of evil dots on the screen for eternity.

And it goes on and on, on and on, till you have lost all mood for work.

!rant

Finally done with high school!

Next up, college!

TFW you stay up until midnight on a Sunday to see next week's weekly rant question, but it doesn't get changed...

Lead developer about Project X:

“Focus on responsiveness. That will probably take you the rest of the week”

The next day:

“Focus on functionality Y”

MAKE UP THAT MIND FFS?!

Working till 3:30 am and getting up at 8 am for the next meeting feels so shitty!

Legend says that if you concentrate and listen for it, you can almost hear @kiki conjuring up the next few words that will start a riot on this cursed land of devRant.

Having a demo on the next day.
Boss: We'll have a quick review at 6pm.

Ends up working till 12am due to changes from "quick review"

Thanks for the stickers @dfox Next goal is the stress ball. Gonna need it with school starting up

Title earned: "Figlio del capo" - "The boss' son"
Earned by oversleping literally next door, because you forgot to set up an alarm.

Even though my presence wasn't really required today 🤷‍♂️

whenever I think I am almost done with coding something, and go like "yeah, I can totally finish this the next day within just a few hours. Just add 1-2 functions and done" - it ends up being the opposite. I either realize how many things I didn't think and implement through and end up adding lots of things or I come up with a different approach to things which seems better and have to rework half my stuff...
I guess this will get fixed with experience.
Until then, I guess I'll keep trolling myself.

One of the admins in our school is developing a digital class register. He already set up all the users but randomized the passwords to lock all students out. But he also implemented a password reset.

He was kinda pissed when he found out (the very next day) though. Now he locked us out again.
At least I can leave the school next year knowing that they'll get a sick new application

Working a local community site. Used the project to pick up on Vue.

Next I wanna check out what's all the fuss with flutter. Also I am in the process of reverting back to rails after spending 2y writing php

Just got my Linux dev environment set up, even got an alias working that would launch all the software I needed to test my code. Then today decided to change primary drives. At least I know how to set it back up next time, right?

Thigh highs are rolled up, next thing to do is boot linux! Yeah its coding time!

To the managers and new developers.

Development, and Product Development is not a black-and-white game.

It is an entire spectrum. You cannot move to the next best version. Next best feature, or the next best app.

The only jump that you take is getting started. After that it is a walk across the entire spectrum. Things grow slowly, and steadily. Just keep an eye on the next improvement.

Study the analytics, improvise, focus your energies, and just move to the next shade.

Enough steps, and you will have what you want.

It requires planning, courage, determination, tactics, sticking together ,and above all patience.

Most importantly, get rid of the people who cannot think long, rush, and mess things up.

It's like I know staying up all night is gonna kill me the next day, and I do it anyways... and now it's the next day. Fml 😫

One project deadline coming up, one presentation to be given next week, and 3 exams on consecutive days.
Scared as fuck. 😭
I hope I pass.
Wish me luck!

I upgraded eclipse with devStyle. The next time I started eclipse a quote showed up. I'll post it here 'cause I think it's totally true:

"Experience is the name everyone gives their mistakes".

It's so freakin' on point...

When you your computers graphics card keeps crashing the computer.

I get 7 seconds before it crashes. About 5 are used up from typing in password and loading...
The next 2 seconds involve me trying to type in device into start menu... Next I will type in manager.

I am at the anger level where I am saying audibly "I will destroy you" "Arch is next" "Screw you Intel" "You have failed this city"
Real anger rising! 😠😡👈✂🗡🔪🔪🔫🔫🏹⛏🛢🛠🍺🍸🍹☠☡☢📵❌

Why don’t you like sharing your salary with coworkers? I tell people exactly what I am paid if the conversation comes up. It helps to know where you stand, i.e. if you’re being under paid or if you should ask for more in the next review cycle.

I officially gave up on this semester of college! ✨🍻🎉
I'm coming back next year, but until then, I'm glad to disappoint my family

Waking up in the morning, sick as fuck.

Happy because I don't have to go to my IT job for the next few days.

Depressed because I'm feeling too weak to develop or learn anything at home.

Just woke up dreaming of designing and coding a portfolio website for my hobby photography with a simple GUI and a powerful automated backend. I guess I know what I'll do the next few days :D

Yes ! Just copy paste an entire fucking react dashboard into our NextJs project !

But don't stop there mate. Fuck up your branch and mine too to a point even gitkraken can't tell me exactly what fucking operations you did.

This is my first Next project and my first time working with this new client and it's going tits up in less than a month. Fucking great job.

The programmer in me will wake up in the next hour, till then, i shall just eat and get fat.

Has anyone ever had an eBay addiction... I think I may have "25 days of Christmas" coming in the next few weeks....

Yes that's how much stuff I've randomly bought/might end up buying if I win the auctions...

I really should stop...

The last two years of degree have really opened my eyes on how studlpid and difficult people can be. I genuinely think that the next time a teacher tries to pull a stunt or fucks something up for us I'll go full ballistic on them. Still have one year to go. God help me.

Me installing software:
>Downloads installer
>Runs installer
>"Software installed, must reboot"
>Reboots computer
>Opens program
>"Not the latest version, must update"
>Uhm, ok then
>Click ok
>Update dialogue pops up
>Click next
>"Program is already open, please close program"
>Ok Fu
>Closes program
>Commences update
>"Update complete, must reboot"

Please kill me

Guest-user: finished my angular js 3 days course. Next have to start learning how to write API's using angular. Any heads-up?

Sudo-user: wow.Order raspberry pi from Amazon and build rocket. Let's go to moon next month 🤦🤦🏼‍♂️

The later I Stay up, the more wrappers appear next to my computer in the morning...

Funny how that works....

Setting up a laptop for the next employee. Office 365 has taken over two hours to install in what it states as "just a moment."

OpenOffice for life.

Interesting how these two ended up right next to eachother

Me: "But what if I fuck it up?"
Him: "Well, don't fuck it up".

When asking about what the user should do next in case they make a mistake and wanted to correct it.

It was a turning point in my dev life.

So many people ranting about devRant needing to be more secret when at work?

I've got a solution coming up somewhere in the next 4 hours.

You know it's time to get some sleep when your coffee starts making weird unexplainable hissing noises.
Everyone in the offices ended up looking at me why I was holding a cup next to my ear...

Tried to install WAMP manually to learn PHP. It almost put me off development altogether, but great when it worked and I learnt a lot doing it. The next time I used Xampp before moving on to vagrant & VMs.

Sometimes setting up the Dev environment is the hardest part of learning. But better to learn in dev than production!

Never “try” to optimise just a bit more just for your own sake if the customer doesn’t ask you too. The next day you may be working on getting the service up and stable again on your holiday day :-(

#storytime

Soon I'll start moving to a new place on the 16th and I wanted to change my address at the Internet provider (T).
go to provider website (T) reading that I need to call them...

CALL (T): .... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 30 minutes later:

Operator: Hi moving, yes.. When? we send you an email with details to send Mechanic.

Next day: waking up. clicking mail on my phone in bed half sleepy. select 15th. next. next. next. accept. done.

Me happy :) .... One hour later realizing I said 15th.. and it should be 25... FUCK!!! Me Mad! Knowing what's going to happen...

Click link in mail to change date. You need to call (E).

CALL (E) : ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 1 hour later.... Give up..

CALL (E)(2): ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 1.2 hour later.... Give up..

Next day CALL (E)(3): ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 45 minutes later....

Operator: Hi, yes we can move to date 21. you need to call (R) to change fiber mechanic I'll patch you trough
CALL (T) : ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 30 minutes later....
Operator: You need to call (K) Here is the number 123456789..

CALL (K): ... Automatic answering machine.. ... longer than normal, covid19, 20 minutes later
Operator: This department (R) can not be reached by phone we will call you back.

Next day:
Incoming call from (K). Because you are moving to a new house you do not need (R). have a nice day.

Have a nice day to you too calm and friendly.
hopefully I won't be without internet for a couple of days...

I swear I will KILL the next one who comes to me to pimp up his excel sheet WITH FUCKING VBA -.-

This shit is so annoying.... Just because I started my apprenticeship and need to learn everything like a 3 year old kid...
Get me outta here!

> after a week, finally up the project to angular2 rc5
> happyasfuck.jpg
> next day to go angular github.
> rc6
> CHANGELOG.md#breaking-changes

Currently at Google Next. Enjoying my first tech conference / show.

Just felt like I should check in. What are you guys up to?

Cheers!

At the risk of starting a riot. What is your preference?

// space before comment text
//or jammed up next to it?

// Furthermore, do you capitalize your comments?

The moment when you wake up next morning, turn on your monitors and realize that the heavily needed update you wanted to install overnight didn't even start....

'It's just...' is the biggest lie any co-dev can give you!

If it's just a small change why don't they do the god damn work and spend the next 2 days wading through an undocumented shit storm.

Next person to say 'It's just x, y & x', that ticket will be going up their tail pipe sideways!

Boss:"I need you to help your colleague finish up this java project, but you still have to meet your deadline on web app you're working on and we have an ecommerce website that needs to enter first phase next week".
Me:"la la la la la..."

Forgot about arrays and used eval to call a function. Woke up the next day like "wtf did I do"

I thought it would be a good idea to name my dev blog after a common runtime exception. I started looking up un claimed domain names. I guess stackoverflow.com is taken. Next idea... indexOutOfBounds...?

The company I worked for had to do deletion runs of customer data (files and database records) every year, mainly for legal reasons. Two months before the next run they found out that the next year would bring multiple times the amount of objects, because a decade ago they had introduced a new solution whose data would be eligible for deletion for the first time.

The existing process was not be able to cope with those amounts of objects and froze to death gobbling up every bit of ram on the testing system. So my task was to rewrite the exising code, optimize api calls and somehow I ended up in multithreading the whole process. It worked and is most probably still in production today. 💨

Would you guys get annoyed if someone(me) made a habit of going through your code and cleaned things up, such as clearer naming, untangling ifs with early returns and so on.

I mean doing stuff that doesn't change the behavior, but makes it easier for the next person.

So after working on a website for like a month to make it kinda pixel perfect in every resolution on every device the web designer just tells me "ok, you should move this whole thing up 30px"

Ok, no problem, I change the CSS for that div and make it all go up 30px

The very next day he tells me the while thing is fucked up and not aligned any more

I mean, is was all the same as before, nothing changed!

While having dinner at my desk, I was watching a comedy video on YouTube. After the video finished, it went to another one in the que. Next thing I noticed that I ended up in "Penis Enlargement" video.

Why is YouTube so rude maybe because I use adblocker.

Keyboards (like mine at work) that have play/pause, mute, volume up, volume down, but no next track or previous track are the absolute worst, like what the fuck.

Instead its got a fucking button for calculator, email and a home button.

I bought BMW recently and the engineers who designed it did a phenomenal job. The one oddity though, there are up and down arrows on the steering wheel representing next and previous, except that down is next and up is previous. It's so counter intuitive and I wish they would standardize button interfaces or produce guidelines everyone would stick to.

My last night :
- Had nothing much to work on
- Opened an anime site to spend sometime.
- Clicked on some really good shows.
- Realized full screen isn't working on that page.
- Fired up JS Console , spent next 30 minutes trying to get the video part full screen. Failed!!
- Opened up Google & navigated through stackoverflow looking for the fix. Still couldn't do it.
- Cursed the website for having a bad design.
- Left the site.

When you finally decide to upgrade to a new Mac Book, and there's not a single unit in stock in Finland and earliest new stock ships early next year. SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, I NEED THAT MACHINE RIGHT NOW!