"hey there is this bug, could you fix it?"
me: sure whats the bug?
*explains the bug*

me:... thats.... thats your feature request from last week

IT: Hi, how can I help?
User: Hi, I can't get onto the wifi / internet, my computer says "No Signal".

IT: Hm, we don't have wifi, your on a cable, what exactly is saying no signal?
User: Its just on the screen here.

IT: No but where, are you inside a browser, or is it a popup down the bottom corner?
User: No I haven't got that far yet, it just says no signal on a black screen, then it flashes and says no signal in another position.

IT: ...... did you turn on your computer after turning on the monitor ... thats the screen saying no signal from the computer.
User: ah yep, thats it, thanks!

Bill gates found a bottle in his garden.
He decided to rub it thrice (whyever) and a geany surged.

Bill gates: h.. He.. Hello?
Geany : hi, im willing to give you one wish as you saved me
Bill gates: I WANT WORLD PEACE, HERE IS THE MAP WITH ALL THE WARS ON THE WORLD!!
Geany: thats impossible. Other wishes?
Bill gates: fix every bug in windows vista!
Geany: gimme that world map

Client : Hey make me five page website with blabalabla blabla blabla blablablablablabla that should be easy for you! for 10$?
me : for 10$ i can create a new folder and thats it and i am not gonna call it project i will name it asdaddaddadsas!

Colleague: "What is a pl file?"

Me: "Oh thats a perl script"

Colleague: "So how do I edit it?"

Me: "Just break out emacs and modify that perl script lol"

Colleague: " *Triggered* did you just assume my text editor preference"

Me:" -_- what year is this ??"

The interview was for an internship, I was so nervous about it and thats how I fu*ked it.

Q: So you have studied OOP?
A: Yes Sir, I have studied OOP in C language.
And the rest is history. 😃😃

Friend gave this self made "pocket advent calendar" to me (has 24 m&m's in it)

*me to her: aww thank you thats so sweet!
*OCD to me: but she could have aligned that numbers...
*me to me: and that's one more reason you're single

PM: 2 months? no thats way too long, do it in 1.

Director: I had a chat with someone else who doesn't work on this team, he says that developer you complained about is a good guy and we should keep him on the team.

Business: No, we don't have time for tech debt, lets build these new features as quick as possible and lets see where we are.

everyone: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT CRASHED AGAIN??? THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE

Our company got attacked last month by what i believe was a code time bomb from a ex employee. And it was brutal, website hacked, email server not responding, locked out from database servers. The IT department asked for my help and I was more than happy to do it. Long story short I got every thing back working smoothly. The IT guys ask for a favor to not include this in my monthly progress report. Fine by me. But then they went out and tokd the top management that they are teaching me about the networks and servers so thats why I was working with them last month. Fucking assholes. Not going to help them any more.

Friend: You make games right?

Me: Yea I try to atleast, why?

Friend: I have this cool idea for an MMORPG with fantasy elements and dragons and stuff!

Me: Well thats a lot of work, just setting up serv-

Friend: We can have a bunch of cool stuff like Sandbox stuff, Guild battles and 100v100 pvp

Me: As I was trying to say, it would requi-

Friend: OH We need space for atleast 10 thousand people on each server!

Me: ... Good luck buddy!

Oh thats how it works.

Do you also hate that feel when you have to deal with 110% idiot? Today, BTC hit 5000$ mark, right now it was 5200$. Media are now full of BTC. Me with my friend, having lunch.
Me: Wow, BTC is finnaly over 5k$.
Friend: Wow, I will just wait till it gets to 5500$ and then buy so I can sell it for kore when price drops.
Me: *trying to explain that if you want to profit you need to buy when its cheap and sell when its expensive*
Friend: No you are lying thats bullshit *ragequit*

It really hurts since he is really smart, especially good in math and logical thinking... 🙄

This is a true story
I am a freelance developer, i recently had this conversation with my client:
Client: Add multi language option to my website
Me: Ok, I need for it 3-5 days
Client: Why?
Me: I need to create multi language system, this
website is built from scratch without using any
framework
Client: No need to built it, Just enabled it i need it fast
Me: Sir there is no such thing to enable features that
does not exit
Client: Listen me, I need this feature today, enable it
and we are done.

Me: Thats not how it works..
Client: I know how it works, i have hacking certificate

Me: Can you go to that page and see if the issue is fixed?

Colleague: if I go there it breaks things

Me: yes, it should be fixed now, can you please check it to make sure?

Colleague: but if I go there it will break things

Me: Can you just go to the page

Colleague: it broke something

Me: what did it break?

Colleague: I don't know

Me: ...then how do you know it's broken

Colleague: because the gallery doesn't work

Me: WELL THEN THATS WHAT'S FUCKING BROKEN THEN ISN'T IT

My boss has this habit of telling me what to do, followed by "thats easy" and "it should take you about <half the time it actually takes to do it barely okeish>"

My boss does not code and whenever I try to explain why stuff takes as long as it does he replies with, thats technical, I don't want to know...

Quiting my job at the end of the week : )

New boss rant here!

Boss: Can you give me an estimate for a new project that we willbe running?
Dev: Oh yes I have already calculated at approximately three months.
Boss: Thats great start on it!

3 months laters....

Boss: Why did it take so much? I feel like our productivity sucks.

Dev:...

PM finds my prized stress ball and draws a face on it. When asked why she said "it looked depressed".

THATS THE LOGO YOU DUMB BITCH. PLEASE DON'T TOUCH MY SHIT

On the bright side... Good thing I have this stress ball to relieve my anger 😒

friend: so how are we gonna do this project together? download, edit then upload to google drive again. thats the fastest way.

me: how about git?

friend: what?

me: ill just create a repository and create branches before we merge it with master. no need to go through that process of downloading and uploading multiple times

friend: not sure... what... that.. is.....

me: oh we have a looooong way to go, ill guess ill have to teach u git right from the beginning

If I keep ignoring issues they'll eventually overflow and I'll have a negative amount of bugs, right?

open telegram

'hey guys i have a cool idea for a project'

"yeah thats a neat idea lets do it"

we get drunk on the first meeting and completely forget about the project

Got a bottle of bourbon as a reward from boss after completing a task.
Thats it, just wanted to brag a little

QA: When I open the app I get this strange error message that includes "No data connection could be established" near the start of it.

Me: I'll clean up how thats displayed, but the error means your phone doesn't have internet connection.

QA: No that can't be it, I do.

Me: You screenshot shows no WiFi or 3g / 4g symbols.

QA: No those are never there, please investigate.

Me: I have investigated and found that every other one of your screenshots had a WiFi or a 3g symbol. Example: <link>. Please check your connection and try again, i'll clean up the error display.

PM: Oh i've had an issue something like this before. We really need to show users an error screen. We can't just leave them on this screen with no error message at all.

Me: ... we have an error, thats what QA is complaining about, its not loading the text and displaying the error object.

Anyone else want to not pay attention and complain about something else that doesn't make sense? ... no? ... ok good, back to work then

while we were in the car...

mom: so what are u doing in your new job? you code in java?
me: no, i code in javascript, html, css and php..
mom: so thats java. how nice.
me: no, its javaSCRIPT.
mom: theyre still the same.
me: java and javascript are not the same
mom: but most people use java so why dont u just do it in java?
me: thats what ive been asking myself too in the past few weeks, why did i even accept this job

I opened a tutorial in youtube about web development , suddenly enter wix add
"You need a website why not do it yourself"
Me: no shit thats my job to work on a website but not on wix

Last year a random company hired me to develop an Angular app. One of the main requirements was that it needed to be compatible with IE6 cus thats what they were using internally... I accepted the offer...

Based on a true story that happened right now.

Dad: "how do i download youtube videos?"

Me: "just google youtube downloader and download them from some site, thats how i do it"

Dad: "WHAT!!??? You want me to fucking google it? I dont know how to fucking google for those things, you're the IT guy and you should know how to do this, if I wanted to google it i wouldnt ask you for help. You know what, get the fuck out of my face i dont need ur help, get out"

Thats how you do it😎

Job title :
"PHP and MySQL Programmer"

Job description :
"We are looking for a Flash Developer with a high level of proficiency developing ActionScript solutions.... bla bla Development in a 2D and 3D environment"

doesnt say ANYWHERE what is require to know in php nor mysql

EDIT: actually it does but why would they put php and mysql programmer if thats not the main things they are looking for

typeof NaN in JS is "number"

and.. yeah thats it, no other jokes are necessary here I guess

Request from a senior backend dev in a previous company:

Talking to the team thats responsible for the auth API's is such a pain. For this new API can we just not add any auth to it? Its only going to return details about who the email address belongs too. Like name, address, date of birth, car registration etc. No one will care about that, and it will be easier for mobile to integrate right?

Teacher: "Will this SQL statement work LavaTheif?"

Me: "you need to put a 'WHERE id.."

T: "but will it work like this?"

Me: "well it wont do what you're trying to do, so it wont work properly"

T: "so will it work?"

Me: "no."

T: "wrong. It will work, but it will change everything in the database, which we dont want"

Thats what I was saying??

Also, he spent 50 mins out of our hour lesson explaining how to use SELECT, INSERT, UPDATE, and DELETE. I just wanted to get on with the work tbh.

New Equipment 🤗🤗🤗♥️

I mean, thats a fucking UltraWide Display -- and it seems to be small beneath the tv 😂😂

My cousin just messaged me and asked me to make him a discount code for an online retailer.
THATS NOT HOW IT WORKS.

Me (experienced java dev) in an interview..

C: „what’s the difference between equals and equals equals and equals equals equals in js?“
Me: *i explained it perfectly*
C: „what’s the difference in Java between equals and equals equals and dot equals?“?
Me: „sorry, I don’t know. I’ve never ever seen .=„..

About 15 min after the interview, I was like: „holy moly fucking shit, please shoot me.. he meant .equals.. not .=....

For the devs: I‘M FUCKING STUPID!!!!

For the beginners: THATS the importance of „context“!

HOW FUCKING HARD CAN IT BE TO NOT STORE PASSWORDS IN CLEARTEXT AND THEN PROCEED TO SEND ME AN UNENCRYPTED EMAIL WITH THE PASSWORD IN IT??? THE SITE HAS A PREMIUM FUCKING SSL AND SAFETY CERTIFICATES YET THEY STILL DON'T COMPLY TO THIS? FUCK YOU! IF IT WASN'T FOR THAT I HAD TO ORDER A NEW SCREEN FOR MY BROKEN PHONE, YOU COULD'VE SUCKED BETTER THAN ME + VACUUM CLEANER.

Sorry abt that. But for real, mytrendphone stores passwords in plain texts and waves a fucking safety certificate in your face...

Oh you want my homework Solutions?

WELL NO! YOU WONT GET MY SOLUTIONS YOU PRICK! YOU ALWAYS TREAT ME LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT! I WONT GIVE IT TO YOU!!
AND I DONT FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOUR SHITTY GRADES! THEY ARENT MINE! AND YOU KNOW WHY?! BECAUSE I DO MY FUCKING HOMEWORK AND IT PISSES ME OFF TO ALWAYS GET REQUESTS FOR MY FUCKING SOLUTIONS! GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, PUT IT IN A BAG AND TAKE IT TO THE SHIT STORE!
WHY?!
BECAUSE I DONT CARE! THATS WHY! DO YOUR HOMEWORK!
AND MAKE GOOD GRADES!
BYE!!

Fucking finally. I got a job... No one is probably gonna give a shit because it's your average governmental drone position but I wanted this for a very long time...

** drum roll **

Customs and immigration officer!!!

Thats right! Deported! Deported! Deported! *hot chick* welcome to our country!

Best thing is... Now every project can be a side project... I can chillax and build software in my spare time... I love it.

You want the truth...?
I just love being part of the dev memes :P
Thats it!

Saw a silent mouse. No clicking noise.
Ohhh thats pretty cool I guess.
Tested the silent one and normal one.
Liked the normal one because it has clicking noises.

Me, talking to a colleague:
"No, thats impossible. The problem can not be in my code. Let me show you why. You see, the code does this, and than it goes here, and then… oohhhh…. I’ve found the bug."

-Boss instructs me to always set high estimates
-Asks in how many days will i finish X
-I think 3, but adding 1 extra day for each random problem i tell him one week
-He says thats way too long, make it 3 days
-Shit happens and i can barely finish it in one week
-My boss:

Hey, i took a look at your code and heres how you could improve your performance!

"No thanks lol it works this way too"

Okay you fucking idiot, thats not how you do normal distribution

"Why are you so mean"

While reading docs... ok i got it.. thats so easy .. starts coding.. Wait .what was the syntax?

My company is providing cloud infrastructure to our customers. For research purposes we are running a little openstack cloud in our laboratory datacenter were we can test stuff before implementing it in the productive environment.

Last week the manager asked me to shut down the cluster over night and only power on the servers when we need it. (about twice a week)

The reason: it produces too much heat.

My answer was: No.
First off thats not how cloud infrastructure works, and how about a proper climate control?

Sometimes i ask myself in which parallel universum our managers live 😑

Website: do you want to buy our premium features or try it out for free?

Me: free

Website: Ok here u go for free

Me: *clicks download for free*

Website: aight so heres a page to enter your credit card info we're only gunna bill u monthly or every 2 days if thats fine wichu

$number = 3000/365*365-3000
echo $number

Output:
4,54747350886E-13

No, Just No. I really like you PHP but thats supposed to be zero. I don't got time for your Tantrum's. I got work to do!

PS: Does anyone know why this happens? Solved it by rounding on 10 decimals but prefer it would just answer 0 instead of me having to force it back.

Seriously? Javascript is the best?Javascript is the future?

Dont get me wrong. I have to use angularjs and nodejs in my work so I am quiet familiar with them. Js csn be usefull and make things easier and simpler but it comes with a price... You can do someting in third amount of effort but you have to debug three times more. Yes you can use typescript but thats not an option always. What about single threaded design yes you can use callback and promises but really? Thats the way it is should be working? And what about that if you need one functionality than you dowbload a module but with that you are started to depend from other 737373737 packages.

I am just simply not getting this hype around JS.

Another project with legacy code got just dusted off at work. Shits fucked beyond recognition! We got:
- Rando variable names that mean nothing
- Timers running with a cycle time of 2.5ms if you start them with the multiplier 1.
- An Interrupt routine thats 300 lines long.
- Another interrupt thats starting an ADC conversion and waiting for it to complete before returning.
- For loops that start with one and subtract one from the iterator in the loop
- Every value that would normally be expressed as a regular number is written down in Hex. Eg: if(val==0x05)
- State machine built without writing down which state is which. Its just a number. (In hex obviously!)
- All running on a Microcontroller you cant debug on.
- Using a compiler no one has ever heard of before.
- Weird ass Port manipulations
- 15 different .hex and .elf files with no clue whats in them.
- No version control
- We tried explaining the code to a monkey and it hanged itself.

me: hey prof, i dont know why this is wrong
*points out where its wrong*
prof: hmmm let me see
prof: u see its wrong here. thats why it doesnt work
*points at the exact same thing i pointed out*

A couple days ago, I went through the most embarrassing interview ever. It was a startup into both hardware and software merged over image processing. I really wanted it. Really really did. It was telephonic, and involved a little bit coding over docs. In the one hour we talked over the phone, he asked me about 30 questions. I hadn't even heard of the words he said! Ive never delved into compilers, lower level things, and memory management. I could answer about 5 questions- including the tell me about yourself question.

So thats about 25 ways I came up with of saying "I don't know" in a span of 60 minutes.

family: oh cmon, how hard it can be
me: what do you mean
family: youre just sitting in front of that pc all day
me: yeah, thats how we ...
family: youre not working! youre sitting in one place the whole day

I got the job and wow that was fast. I applied for the job on monday at 2 am and they sent me the contract on tuesday (today) at 10pm. Thats 44 hours from the first mail until I got the contract :D

Also: I just love it, the company seems to be exactly what I was looking for

When you're training a new guy who thinks hes better than you and completely overwrites all the code you've been working on because he thinks UX designed it wrong and it should look "correct". Thats not how corporate business works buddy...

Ahhh so thats how you learn. Damn i been doing it all wrong.

I followed a tutorial on how to use TensorFlow to create digit recognition. It worked. Theres just a few issues ...

I found the code on a website, and wrote what i saw (almost copy paste)

I barely understood any of the code

I did not understand the results

I have no idea where the images was found

Im almost more confused now, than when i started, thats not good xD

Purple, Ahh yes, the nice colour purple... dont you love looking at something and thinking, "Wow, thats some nice purple"

well, I fucking dont, fuck that piece of shit colour, I FUCKING HATE PURPLE, why?
BECAUSE IT DOESNT FUCKING EXIST! FUCK PURPLE, FUCK IT, ITS FUCKING BLUE! THERE IS NO FUCKING PURPLE!

WAKE THE FUCK UP PEOPLE! IT DOESNT FUCKING EXIST! THERE IS BLUE AND RED, BUT. THERE. IS. NO. FUCKING. PURPLE!

And dont get me started on brown, that nice brown chocolate, these coffee beans...
IF IT WOULDNT LOOK LIKE DARK-GREEN I WOULDNT FUCKING HATE IT! WHY DOES IT EVEN EXIST!

(if your wondering, yes. I have a red-green colour deficiency)

CSS Grid isn't working propperly so I am trying to debug it for a complete day.

It turns out that I have misspelled a grid-area name and thats why it didn't work :(

Me: *browsing devRant*
Friend who's on every Social Media paltform: what's that?
Me: devRant
Friend: *taking out phone* I need to join
Me: its for developers
Friend: *putting back phone in pocket* Ooh
Me: *grinning wildy in my sweet little heart* *yes you piece of shit. This one's not for you*

It feels good to have a corner thats not for everyone

Wtf is all this talk of AI regulation all of the sudden? We have barely achieved anything on AI and they already wanna put chaines on it?

Just because people are pussies who are afraid that skynet will develop rape-robots who go around giving std's to everybody they see doenst mean there should be regulations on something thats still in diapers.

ESPECIALLY WHEN ITS PROBABLY GOING TO BE DONE BY FUCKING POLITICIONS WHO PROBABLY THINK AI ONLY MEANS KILLER ROBOTS.

Maintaining a legacy Apache x86 PHP application that is coded in a way that it requires windows as an operating system.

Oh wait thats my job

I got in trouble for refactoring code to be modular. They said “thats too complicated the maintenance team”.

Said coworker produced a kludge of copy pasted code so the dumb ass maintenance team could understand it.

tldr; interfaces and abstract classes are too advanced for our employees so make the codebase shitty on purpose.

My friend is a 1st time programmer. When we learned about tabs vs spaces in our mandatory beginners c++ class, the friend said "what, you can use spaces?" and I said "yes, of course, like this!" and demonstrated it. The friends reply, without knowing about the controversy, made my day:

*silence*
"well, thats dumb"

I used the kiwi emoticon once, now it is in the recently used forever 🥝 thats life I guess

I really liked the Microsoft Zune. Thats it.

*at work*

co-worker: what are u doing?

me: programming and learning

co-worker: but school has just started... u guys havent learnt anything yet

me: thats the great thing about programming, everything is already in the internet waiting to be read and learned. try it next time ;)

co-worker: learning out of school, no thanks

Someone (QCat) on devRant offered me to be his contact, it ended up with him teaching me a HUGE lot of stuff, enabling me to now code an operating system alongside him (o and I learned maths, formalism, biology, chemistry, game dev, REAL C++, drawing [I still suck at all of them though] )

So yea, thats it from my side

Thats just how it is

WOW!! What a fucking cop out. After what happened yesterday about branching. my senior and our boss had a meeting and I wasn’t included. My senior then message me to next time dont create another branch just use the existing branch even if it was merged. I said “ok but i thought thats the best practice, we we’re doing that since the beginning”. Senior then responded “Whats best practice for our boss, that will be our best practice” what a fucking cop out!!! Bitch!!

Just copy the schematic by hand when you have time instead of taking an image of it.

Did it, then ajusted the image with gimp and printed it as document. Thats how you waste time... or learn gimp, depending on the viewpoint. 😉

Hired a friend who is kindoff a spoiled brat. If me or the rest of the team tell him anything he answers with the team does not know enough to tell him what to do. The slightest words (why is it not done yer etc. seem to trigger his ego and threaten to resign). His skills are also not what i thought they were , they get the job done but thats pretty much it. Should i work to placate his ego or let him resign.

I know we have a lot of talented people here. Piece of advice, what ever you build, believe in it. See it through. No matter how good of an idea incompleteness won't get you anywhere.
After all every other day we all analyze different successful products and say "huh... that's nothing. Even we can do that".
Well thats the difference "We" can do that, they DID it.

See your ideas through. Stay motivated =)

Using mongodb for one product

A colleague as experimenting with elastic search (I think it was).

It installed a proxy around the collection to get all events for the external search storage.

Worked well, but it was just a test so once done we removed it

But thats where it got scary.

When we removed the proxy through the search dashboard it dropped the underlying collection of live data!!!

A collection it did not create.

Hows that for bad UI.

Always experiment on a separate db server.

Recently attended a final stage interview. So far probably spent 60% of the time discussing my previous roles/experience - (sigh) Then along comes the "Core Java" questions. FINALLY!! My chance to really shine.

Q: How do you make an object a singleton?

I give my answer, thinking this is the ice breaker question and ready for the next question...

Nope, thats it! Apart from the automated tech test in the previous round, my entire tech ability is measured by whether I can memorise a design pattern!

> im an operating system

> when I feel like operating

> lifes good

> i reboot when i feel like it

> i take the entire screen whenever i want

> when im changed from landscape to portrait i still snap windows horizontally

> sometimes, when i know the laptop lid is closed and a keyboard is attached i still ask for your finger

> thats what you get for having the finger print scanner under the lid i say

When i was 12 or so, my mom bought me the java for dummies book. Don't get me wrong, thats not where i learned from, it just motivated me to find actually useful resources to do so.

Watching IT guy on the show "How to get away with murder" explain how to hack:

"It's not that complicated, really. You just download that app from the deep web and worm your way into the phone company's main frame using basic java code. Anyone can learn how to do that."

Thats how you do it! Thank me later.

so today we used putty and coded the exercise within the university's server. i wanted to use "tree" to see all the files better cause thats what i normally use. turns out i had to install it.

i type in "sudo apt-install tree"

screen: no root priviledges. <university_login> is not included in root.txt. this will be reported immediately.

i forgot i needed root priviledges smh i just wanted to see my files better XD

About age 7 playing with lego an together with a friend was planing to build a robot. 3 years later I got to play with a computer for the first time, A brand new zinclair zx80 with 512 bytes ram (thats 1/2kbyte), and we got it to print 0 instead of syntax error :D

I think thats wrong
(It says "Great entertainment")

Wanted to switch mobile plans because im severely overcharged for 4g. While im at it, i thought lets buy a phone aswell, its cheaper with a new contract and this one is almost 2yro.

Then i had to realize that my carrier (telenor) has 2858 iphones, 99999 smasungs and thats basically it. Fuck me for tryna buy a normal phone i guess. I didnt even have any special requests, like an lg q6 or g5 would have been perfect but noooooo. Fuck you.

Excuse me driversed.com? THATS NOT HOW MATH WORKS!

I've only taken one test and got a 93%, but it says my average score is a 92%.

Just thought that was kinda funny.

$5.625/hour.

Thats the offer.

$5.625/hour.

Thats $900/month.

To work as a:
- devops engineer

Then also as a:
- backend java engineer

And now also as a:
- .NET engineer too

Due to inflation the food and all the bills and expenses in my bullshit country is $800-900/month and increasing.

This salary is not for living.

This salary is for survival.

Do you think

It is

MORAL

To earn salary

Working 2 or 3 dev jobs as 1 person

As a backend/devops software engineer

With computer science degree

In todays economy

In todays inflation

?

There's nothing that I hate more than UML diagrams. Shit is so out dated and I have yet to talk to a company thats even heard of it let alone use it. Biggest waste of time and money in the world

When I was in college I had to code a piece of software for use on the college Intranet.

When it came time to deploy, I went to the network admin to set the package up for distribution.

His first reply, "oh, it's only 8mb, thats so sad".

WHAT THE FUCK DOES IT MATTER AS LONG AS IT DOES THE JOB!

i am actually exciting to go to work tommorow.

Thats weird.

Over the weekend the gf was away and it was quite boring, gaming didnt do the thing so i relaxed quite a lot but i am somewhat excited to continue to work tomorrow, to further my project. I was able to stop to do nothing at home, but still..its a bit weird

I've been toying with the idea of making a change to my working life for a while now. Its a big decision, and could affect something thats been working well.

But today I've made that decision ... and i'm going for it ... i'm going to leave my headphones in the office and stop carrying them in / out everyday.

Its a scary thought, but i'm ready for it. Wish me luck, see you on the other side!

osu-web devs: we use PHP because it just works *stabs in vagrant*

My webdev friend + my crazy ASP.NET Friend: hold my beer

*proceeds to refactor everything to ASP.NET and stabs in Docker*

welp, thats enough social interaction for today

So this company wanted their site launched early..so I coded for 3 days straight, hardly a wink of sleep and I launched it by the new deadline they gave me. Then they send me screenshots of a million problems with CSS and I'm like...THATS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU RUSH YOU STUPID PRICKS

Hello winter depression. I showed up at work at 3pm. I should write a concept for restructuring our IT department. But I'm surrounded by people who have the misconception that design is just making things pretty. And they laugh at the idea to conduct user interviews to improve the situation. It's expected that I finish this until two weeks. Because thats when my contract ends. Job hunt starts again. I lost my motivation for everything. Let me be 😕

Trying to explain an awesome block of code logic you came up with and how it streamlined everything.. And your partner be like.... Thats cute dear

Learning through documentation.

I learned one thing.... That how I can copy paste any thing in my code and comment it as "magic happens here do not touch."

Yeah thats my code learned from documentation (image below )

Have been using redis for my new system and wanted to try some gui, so I stumbled on "redis desktop manager", it supports ssh tunnels, privatekeys and more, great isn't it?

BUT IT SAVES YOUR FUCKING PLAINTEXT PASSWORD AND PATH TO YOUR PRIVATE KEY IN %USER%\.rdm\connections.json

WHAT THE FUCK, fucking ask that password during connection, don't fucking save it in plaintext and give an attacker literally the path to my key, wanted to PR it, but fuck c++, probably thats why he doesnt have it, because hes just using some library, so he doesn't have to fuck with the actual implementation of it.

Im seriously thinking about Watercooling my Raspberry Pi 3...
Why?
BRCAUSE THIS LIL SHIT RUNS SO FUCKING HOT THAT I CAN MAKE AN EGG ON IT! THATS WHY!

Its 80°C when under little load BUT GOES OVER FUCKING 90°C ON LOAD! AND THIS IS FUCKING DANGEROUS! FUCK!

so back to watercooling...
Its a Stupid idea, I know, but its literally THE ONLY FUCKING WAY TO COOL THIS BASTARD! And trust me I tried Novec (Yes the liquid that evaporates at 60°C...) and SHITS EXPENSIVE!

I dont need DuckDuckGo,
I dont need any VPN
I dont need all of this "Internet Privacy Service" BULLSHIT which my ISP wants me to use,
I DONT NEED ANY OF THIS FUCKING SHIT!
AND I DONT WANT IT EITHER!
I HAVE MY OWN PI HOLE!
AND THATS FUCKING ENOUGH FOR WHAT I NEED! STOP TELLING ME ABOUT ALL THIS "We are clearly not logging your shit" WHILE YOU DO!!
Because I have my own shit!

Thx

Imma be real with youse, i havent been posting shit cause i have a great job with great teammates and great management. Like it a rant that i cant rant but thats a good thig i guess. But ion wanna see devrant community goin down the gutter cause old members r leavin so imma stick around and post stupid shit in the comments as usual. So youse can stop bothering me bout bein inactive hmmm

Step 1.

Dont have meetings.

Thats it.

I was trying to make sometimng like cheatengine in console and that happened. Its really cool to see it when your friend is told you thats not the thing you should do

So I recently moved into an student house. Its really awesome but the only thing thats frustrating as fuck is the internet. Its like 50 - 200 kbs. I litterally type in slow motion over ssh. It stops working every few days and the dhcp range is to small :(. Not like my landlord can't afford better internet. There are like 50 people in this building and I think we have the basic abbonement.

Luckily I get my own internet next thuesday. I can't wait.

You make a platformer game and prototype open source and someone uses it and people assume i must be upset because they "stole" my idea. Wtf, i made it fpr the community to make something cool and thats it!

Atleast make it random but cycling through ? Really ?? In it's presentation google assistant was presented as this amazing new Ai that used the latest and best machine learning algorithms and methods on the market. Don't get me wrong it's awesome it can predict patterns in my daily life and interactions but thats what machine learning does, we still didn't come very far with human-software interaction technologies have we ?

Last night i had to write sms center for a panel for my client
I was awake till 5 am 😧 why you ask ?
They had a restful api and also a webservice but neither was complete 😑
And the documents of it was f*#$& worst
They had UserName as parameter but the actual one was userName 😑😐 thats not just it they had more
Also they missed some parameters for some functions 😑
They had parameters for Count and instead of int they said its a Bool and on the description it said 1-100
Im so frustrated

When someone asks me a tecnical question in something i'm interested in:
"It works like this ... Oh i also should explain you how processors work ... Anyway, when a bufferoverflow arises ... And thats how crypthography works ... and so does blockchain work ... anf thats why bitcoin is causing way too many stress on the power grid."

"If flowers could grow on the moon. I'd plant you a garden of stars. So you could see in the dark,
that you're not alone."

I have a poetry book coming out (eventually) called "Steal this poem."

To date, my poetry has gotten one guy laid. Thats good enough for me.

And if you ever wanted to know what it feels like to be a poet, now you too can be one.

Steal this poem.

For all my ranting about Electron, does anyone have any experience with NeutralinoJs, an ultralight equivalent to Electron, weighting in at 5mb?

I'm surprised the last commit was in November and theres no people supporting it on patreon (yet)

It's either really good and practically unknown or somehow terrible in a way thats not already obvious.

In one of my first programming classes, I remember asking my instructor why "System.out.println()" has the periods between System, out and println. All I got back was a "thats just how it is". This really pissed me off and I ignored that instructor for the rest of the semester. Passed the class but since I didn't bother to self study either, wasted a lot of time resources. Hindsight, should have looked it up myself.

i fkig hate those medium.com fkig articles that explain something as "put int i = 1; thats it bye"

fggzhdjriririeieiei u urhfjxkdiieofkvkfkrkrndndjdjdiivkvkrnrbfhfjfkdjkene d dbeijfj n nvkfkrkfkmfmvm fifidk

Is it ok if i create a trello board and create cards quickly without following any type of agile methodology because the project is only for me? I cant spend hours of my time writing exact and precise cards following some standard

Id have cards like Todo Doing and Done

Thats it just so i can keep track quickly and focus most of my time on code

Is this ok

Me, consulting for a huge entertainment company:
Why do you guys have a 500 line method? And why is half of it so nested that it's indented half way across the screen?

Them: Oh, that was written by the best dev on our team. He holds a PhD.

🙃 so thats what kind of skill a PhD gets you these days?

Someone did something right - i sometimes get anxiety and this little wonder helps tremendously....

Holding it while it spins....thats all it takes and "poof" - anxiety gone and am 110% able to focus

Okay ... Windows, I really tried to be nice, but that's it. You get off my ssd right now ...

Just got the error: "filename is too long - unable to delete file" (full name incl. path)

Seriously, WHY?
I mean, sure ... Long file paths/names are a thing and this is why there are limitations. I am totally fine with it!
But Why the hell allows windows you to create those files if it is unable to delete these files later ...
I don't get it. Maybe I am just hit my head to hard as a child and someone may enlighten me ...

PS: windows was running in a VM to give it a real serious try after years on Linux

Burnout hit me. I cant fucking function. I feel extreme tiredness. My brain cant think or work. In fact im feeling numbness in my brain! How can my brain become numb? Thats ridiculous! This has to be a mild burnout or some bullshit. Way too much excessive work and mental pressure. I need a break and this is gonna cost me at least 1 but full day of rest it seems

what is the purpose of a degree?

what value does it convey?

isnt it better if you just show all the work and projects youve done on github as proof of what kind of knowledge do you actually have? plus where you worked before on linkedin? thats not enough, right? a paper needs to decide how much knowledge you have? is that it?

So, is there something called Chicken Snack Wrap in other McDonalds ?

It has chicken, bacon, and lettuce in tortilla.

Just got curious cuz thats the only thing i eat in McDonalds. Lol

I really loving coding but i cant stand people that take coding for granted, theres no single way to code there are a lot of ways to make a single function work and you can code it in different ways, i hate it when people dont use their imagination, in coding you dictate what you want to do, thats the power of coding

As we currently see a lot of codeless software platform, in the next 10 years there is gonna be high demand for people to extend these shitty apps into something proper, just like it happened with wordpress. There is a key missunderstanding that writing code and developing an application are the same thing; they are not.
Once you can write code you sure ass aren't a developer, thats a grueling journey until then, and being able to create an application without code exaggerates the problem even further.

me: I'll start making the site today. To make sure the project is up and go by the deadline, I need you to send some missing content. Please find attached a spreadsheet (with perfectly tought cella :) ) abot the missing content.
-- weeks go by, several mailing and phoning. site is ready. content zero --
client: why is the site not public yet?! you promised a deadline! I'm nőt paying, if it is not ready by tomorrow.
me: ok just send the content I requested.
-- 2days pass. no content --
client: thats it. i'm not payin'. here is the content ( much mire than designed ) upload it and we are done here!!!

Come on devRant! I’m getting really annoyed when clicking on rant that has [read more] at the end since it is a gamble to kill this iOS app you have made. Every ~5th click I get app terminated. Then after I reenter the app, I lost where I was. Thats why I ++ all the rants I have read, even those who don’t deserve it :), so I can scroll quickly and see which are not ++’ed.

rant!

Fuuuuuuuuuuck..... why is CSS so fucking ASS when it comes to working the way it is supposed to. Why would someone create such a broken tool.

end rant.

Thats all, have a good day.

THATS IT! I'm just calling it ECMAscript from now on. I've had enough -

What the FUCK im fixing integrations on some dumbass's API. Biz wants this in prod on monday. It's fucking saturday. Anyway

Me: why did you give us a 200 even if its an error
Them: thats normal
Me: If it's an error it shouldnt be 200
Them: its a 200 because the api params are correct but differ in value so its not an http error but an api error

lmao

So we had to register for placements.. and the company sent email with plain text password.. and thats the password i registered with! nice!

BTW.. its one of the biggest company in IT industry globally.

The new guy just locked our server account (I was using it, thats why he couldn't login) and the IT guy from the client has already left...

I guess its and early day...

If there was an IDE which combines Xcodes debugging with Android Studios code completion, that would be an almost perfect IDE!

In Xcode you don‘t have to start the debugging process explicitly, you just set breakpoints while the app is running. Thats so much better than in Android Studio where you have to switch from normal running to debug mode.

In Android Studio you can use a function which is not declared yet and if you declare it afterwards, it is recogniced and can be completed by the code completion. Xcode does not know shit about undeclared funtions...

OK, lets again talk about net neutrallity
The FCC said they dont give a shit about the people and will not listen to them.
OK. Got it?
So, what now?
Write your ISPs about the Problem! Thats literally the only thing I can Imagine to do! But honestly, I think its still useless... It still wont help... Were all doomed

Am I the only one that wishes that YouTube to either:
-becomes a separate company from google (because, god damn it. Its the only app thats keeping me from going gappless or use microg)
-gets replaced entirely with something not related to google and actually respects the creators

Writing a full interpreter for a pseudo-assembly language.

It's kinda fun but the things a bit of a cunt of a problem because I only did this once before almost a decade and a half ago.

getting just the right format and deciding on the syntax is a slog. Just need something thats quick and sufficiently expressive because I'm not writing the assembly myself, I'm generating the assembly code that runs through the interpreter, so it has to be valid under a lot of conditions.

The more I investigate mobile development the more it becomes apparent to me that modern development is a *massive* pile of technical debt thats going to burst, crash, and burn one day, along with the entire industry.

If it takes a newbie more than ten minutes in your framework to add a fucking *button* and navigate to a new screen, then your framework is shit.

How MS Office came about:

In the office suite I think the top guys stayed for Excel. These guys, are so good. They build Access. But it was always after 6pm on saturdays.

The "I know stuff, and I'll figure things along the way" guys stayed with Word. And in their part time, developed Powerpoit.

Excel guys were so great, they also developed the WordArt and later the SmartArt for Word and Powerpoint!

Thats why we still have that awefull blue and red-wine colours as default...

"We don't use nuget, it isnt secure. We just put all the dll's into a nuget directory thats available to all of the users in the company."

"But that means your references are all broken and your packages.config are wrong? None of your solutions build that are in source."

"We don't check in solution files either. That causes clutter in TFS."

I did a communication and multimedia design study because I was convinced I already knew almost anything.

Ooh the beauty of youth.

But it did help me in the long run, communication with clients and being able to present work with some decent looking presentation and mockups gets the managers all horney as teenagers on springbreak.

Pretty sure thats why I beat some competitors on big projects while their technical skill and team where much better.

Logging work in Jira, because it goes against the whole ethos of trusting people to get the work done when they have to log exactly how much time they spent on each individual story. It also doesnt account for pair programming. so 2 people log the same time and it looks like the story took twice as long. I’ll stop now because I’m precariously close to opening the “time based estimates” can of worms and thats for another rant.

So I wrote the script for the GAL in WinCupl for our project. I used the operators: ! for NOT, * for AND, + for OR

me: *writes code*
me: *compiles it*
compiler: error, unknown operation.
me: wtf but thats how its done, isnt it?
friend: u used the wrong operators. didnt u read the manual?
me: smh i didnt, i invented the syntax xD

lesson learned: always read manual first before writing it directly without knowing the syntax

So I just spent 2 hours debugging a script that fetches data from an API. Thats all it was supposed to do. Http get some data.

It wasnt working and was giving a "parse error". Worked fine in browser.

So it turns out it was using http 0.9 (first documented http version, defined in 1991) and wasnt sending any headers. And js cant do no headers...

So yea I now have to write a tcp / http 0.9 client in js

Is there a thing like getting shadowbanned from downvoting on devrant or people just running bots that automatically upvote them if they hit negative upvotes?

Whenever I downvote anything thats at 0 upvotes (for ex. even spam that just didnt get noticed, where I cant report it on desktop), it instantly gets nulled, even on the most hidden and old rants.

I dont think theres always a registered user per every single rant out there at any given time that upvotes somebody. (often very deep down the comments)

I visited my college school today and my friends from lower years are still afraid of coding , i mean coding doesnt bite it just take time to understand , i think people want the easy way of understanding things rather than building up from nothing, thats why i love to code because i can literally make something out of nothing.

i am coding blindly cause i am not really sure how the function really works. thats how i get things done after 2 weeks. but at least it works out after a while. buuuut i just want to get this thing done uuuggghhh i need to do this faster!

mind please cooperate with me

NOT AGAIN ...
NOT AGAIN ...
NOT FUCKING AGAIN ...

I AM NOT THE FUCKING DJ ...
THATS IT IM MAKING TSHIRTS
_______ _______
/ v \
/ / | | \ \
| ME |
| NO |
| DJ |
|____________|

Since ive started college my will to program has become non-existant. Im a self taught programmer since 12, it used to be MY thing and i loved it. I used to spend hours a day just programming personal projects because i love it. However since college has been getting serious with this being my junior year and having part-time contract work i dont "love it" as much. Im a little scared, i have no time to just code for fun and when i do have time it feels like work because thats the only other time i code.

What should i do guys, i dont want to fall out of love with programming, it's part of who i am and i can feel im losing it.

My mum was programming at high school. It was COBOL, but she never used it again. So thats how she lost every sense for programming. Even like 2 months earlier, she thought I am just playing games and watching videos, but then we finally had a talk and she understands now. I am happy.

I hate people ranting about “Uhh thats not responsive I sent a screen how I imagined it.“

Open Screen, 1918x703 px WIDE.

Explained for an hour that thats not fucking responsive. Nobody could see or read that even if I were to implement. Responsive fucking means text breaks BELOW the damn pictures to make it readable. I will never fit that on an iphone or something unless he pays extra so i can perform dark magic to force vertical view on some devices and put 100 alert functions that the device is not supported by the site.

Im so mad fuck him and fuck me

In all the companies i worked at so far, never seen any employee (in any department) above age 50..maybe the ceo or some lawyer, but thats it.
Where do all the 50+ ppl go in tech?
I'm not sure the tech world will be what it is now even in 10 years.. but I'm just wondering do any of u guys think/worry about where we'll work when we stop being young and cool?
Looks like it's either u start your own business, which not everyone can, or..
what is option B exactly?!?

client: i want u to build me this site and please disable javascript on it

me: thats not a very good practice but whatever

client: Remember... No Javascript...

...

i smiled because it took me 10 seconds to get the reference

In school i had to do a simple HTML site(i was 13 back then). And i started writting it in guess what... Notepad
Thats how i felt in love with bare code

Windows just got a BSOD and had the classic "please wait while we collect error info, we will restart for you shortly".

When it reached 100% it actually restarted itself and I litturally said "woah" out loud, thats litturally a first for me. It normally just hangs on 100% for about 15 mins before I just power it off manually.

It sucks that I lost my work, but atleast I got to witness such a rare event.

Yesterday a met a self learned dev. He started electronics at 11 years old. He was homeschooled with no obligations at home. So he ended up doing about 10 hours of electronics a day. Until he got bored of it and realized he could integrate his own programes.

So he started coding 10 hours a day. He is really smart. I figured someone like that surely plays video games. So i mentionned path of exile. I love rpgs the new league is starting on friday， im trying to make exiled friends you know...

The guy tellls me he has no clue about the game so i ask him what games he play and thats when i heard: “factorysialimsntnaio” something. I was like “whaaat?”.

Its the type of game where you create your factory. You smelt， combine， make parts like screws and so on and build your factory.

Thats when i realized how some people will always be smarter than me ;)

That fucking awesome feeling when you go to a Mozilla Code RSprint and the next day you get decide to build firefox and get it done right in the 1st try. Guys thats something which i can't just explain.
FOSS I adore you!

I hate it when people name fancy new techniques but don't actually know what it is. Today I had the following conversation with some of my ClassMates:

Me: Whe should bundle the js and css files of our app
CM1: I used Gulp before, maybe we could use that
CM2: I used Grunt in the past, but thats kinda old-school webpack is what everybody uses now
CM3: I heard Docker is also a great tool for doing webstuff, let's use Docker

tl;dr never heard about rubber duck debugging before devrant

i didnt worked with Yii fw in the past but we bouth a site written in Yii and i wanted to add a form but could not pass the model to the view so i went for a smoke with my roommate to think about it

"i have the view, i have the model, the action but dont know how to pass the model variable because its an existing view..."

"...it should be passed to the render function in the existing index action but thats written somewhere else, so if i could pass it there..."

"...i can write the action there and then i should pass the variable to the render function in the index action and goddamit, so thats how you do it, thanks mate!"

he stared at me like wtf? o.O

room mate debugging ftw!

Im in fb jail for 24 hours because i said everytime someone commented he showed us how idiotic he was (it was about something inactually know a great deal about from a previous career). But yet i reported someone for calling a guy a fatass beaner thats gonna get deported and it didnt violate the rules. :/

Tomorrow is my first day of slave job. I feel depression higher and higher. I am extremely unhappy. I feel like im going to prison starting from tomorrow.... 9-5 jobs are definitely not for me. I had never enjoyed this bullshit. I can already sense depression so deep thats about to hit me. Dont know how long this job will last, but not more than 3 months hopefully. Probably wont make it even 3 months from how bad I'll perform. Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

So I'm ranting quite often about my university and everything.. but here's something positive:

The prof for c++ has all his coding classes recorded and uploaded as videos. (The screen only)
And thats just awesome. Partly because I don't have to get up 5 in the morning on monday, partly because it makes much more sense then squinting your eyes for 90 mins because you can't see what is projected in front of you..😅

Yeah ok. I went to bed extra early yesterday but i kept waking up at night and now i am tired anyways but thats ok. i have to go to work now but thats good. yeah this is great. now when the sun is up and i have to go to work, my body feels like it could sleep 10 hours straight but hey, i think this is just what i need right now before work.

How do you actually structurize _big_ projects and still use js components?

_big_ = more than 300 pages. Seriously. Not addtodo, listtodos and thats it. A huge fucken amount of pages.

Having great ideas in mind don't know where to begin and I see Iron Man Movie ... AI.. thats it. I want to make it and started with C....(html,css,c#...etc.. ignored)... Jumped to Python.

I don't usually tell my extended family that I work remotely but when I do, I have to explain what I do, how I do it and how did I get it.

Working remotely is very rare where I'm from. I only know one other guy does work remotely and thats it.

Not a rant.

But, who loves to run gource on your project's directory and gets excited staring at the awesome animation created based on the git logs.

+1 If the whole team stares at it and yell "Look, thats me adding the .... component"

Here's a fucking challenge:

Generate an MD5 hash in React Native!

crypto - NOPE deprecated, react native throws when you try to import it anyway

react-native-crypto - NOPE, needs to make use of a shim that recursively edits node_modules... hmmmm yeah you think thats a good thing to have?

react-native-fast-crypto - NOPE, no TypeScript types, no documentation in general, only supports sha512?! WTF

garbage fucking idiot tooling stupid dumbass stupid splat splat barf splat

At 4am there was some random youtuber in my head that reads reddit posts and he presents me one but it's blurry and he says hi there how you there are stupid but how stupid you are, humming hammers,
MOMMY THATS SWEET MIAMI MOMMY THATS SWEET MIAMI he's insecure go back then hayeens HIGH WINS HIGH WINS HIGH WINS HIGH WINS and he never stops
It literally feels like a broken neural network output, meaningless. But it's in my head, I never asked for this but it's there generating itself

So I got a new laptop today. (Not the one from a previous rant. I cancelled that one) Aaaaaannnndddd touch is completely fucked. On Windows it worked like 25% of the time, Mint doesnt work at all and Ubuntu works like 80% of the time. It feels like the panel gets disconnected at random but thats rather unlikely or the driver is fucked and locks up in a crash sometime. Man I really wish I had the time to dig deeper but I have other things on my plate rn.
Also the latency is kinda odd: Windows has the mouse more than a centimeter away from a moving pen and Ubuntu has it at roughly 3mm.

Fucked a clients wordpress website up by editing a saved option thats saved as serialised php data. Tried using the row data from a backup and updating it in the database and it still loads the fallback theme settings. What do?

Went to meet up last night. I was there acting like I have no experience and was just starting to learn programming. Suddenly this guy turns and faced me he said non verbatim “don’t use JavaScript thats the worst programming language, its used by wanna be software engineer. Use c# they have blazor so you wont have to code using JS”. My blood pressure went up guys. I understand this because hes kinda old and dont want to learn new things but i got caught off guard. To be honest im not mad, im just sad though, imagine if i was really new and had no experience and just started few months ago. All the hard work and studying will be nothing. Btw hes nice he offered me free food and beer its just JS.

If you’re learning any language specifically JS. Dont mind the naysayers. Just learn it and be good at it. Languages has its use cases. Conversation with whats better programming language is useless and a waste of time thats what my professor said and its true.

🚽🪠I shitted like 5-7 times today💩. Dont even know exactly how many. This cant be normal. How is it possible for so much shit to be inside me? Where does it fit? Im full of shit. Maybe thats why job interviews and schools are also full of shit cause they all shit 10 times a day. I have to flush toilet at least 2 times so all the shit can go through. Its that big of a shit

Working on an Angular project for the change of things. God, please kill me already.
Its fucking slow - hot reload? I am gonna make myself a coffee in the meanwhile
Its fucking stupid - Why make it easy when you can make black boxed. Make the magic happen!

And please dont get me started on Ressources, documentation, error messages and all the other stuff thats annoying here. Never going back to Angular, if it wasnt paid that well…

Proof i typically underestimate my own self: I just remembered building a browser In Visual Basic in middle school, in a day at my friends house…. How the hell did I do that?? I recognize some of the syntax, but i don’t remember Visual Basic… but THATS how I know it looks like C… AND I DONT KNOW C! so wtf!

Am I missing something here? Lets Encrypt auto renews SSL every 90 days....BUT it will fail if you have .htaccess re-direct set up to https. So you would have to switch off the https redirect, manually renew, then switch it back on again. Thats fucking crazy. I can’t find a way round this. The hosting co set this up but are encouraging people to buy one of theirs when the renewal fails. a cunning plot to get more of their own SSLs. Any ideas?

the industry we try to make for them their first inhouse app, is having a lot of data that we need to import to the app. (machines, workers, materials, products, etc). The problem is that they want to give them to us in excel files, instead of making data entry. So thats ok for start, but after some point of complexity and relations we figured out that it turns to be a deadend.
How do you manage situations like this, with huge old fashion companies??

Not a fight per se, but I once had a debate with a tech lead who thought you could set a variable in the ‘then’ clause of a Javascript promise and just use said variable after the promise declaration and assume it would be populated.
“no.... thats not how asynchronous code works.”

I am really frustrated and angry when my friends only think that web development is easy you just do everything in bootstrap thats it, but really not all web apps are made in bootstrap, i make mine using css media query and thats hard to set everything manually, im so pissed that they take my job for granted and they cant even right a single decent php function , ignorant retards

Someone needs to explain these android terminal emulators to me.

As a kid I had something like it installed on my android 4 back in the days, too. And I was facinated by it and always thought yup, thats linux running right before my eyes.

Now I'm thinking: wait a sec, so you're telling me thats actually Linux running within this dalvik vm stuff on android? Like - how?

I know android runs on linux but is it really that these terminals access the drives/devices/files of the real linux under it?

Yo, i have a course where i have to build an android app, and we can make what the fuckever we want. Can you give me some interesting APIs, that are publicly available? It doesnt have to make sense, everything is better than using the anidb api, and thats the only thing that comes to mind.

Automate is a great app...
(Scroll to last paragraph for a question if you wanna skip the faff)

Semi addicted to a time waster mobile game that has micro transactions. Yet you can get free ingame currency by watching ads over and over.

Using automate i managed to 'automate' the process of "watch add. Click ok. Repeat"

Now when i sleep or idle ill just let it rake up some cash. Sadly it isnt full proof as sometimes (1 out of 20 times) it fails to run the ad and that breaks ot all. But restsrting it is easy and thats another 20 cash!

What have you done to skip tedious work for something trivial or some trivial gain but felt good you did it anyways?

!rant, but holy shit the ZTE Axon M seems to be just perfect with its dualscreen setup, thats exactly what I fucking need on the go, but why is it US and AT&T only currently, come on!

I think the Golang serialization API is utter garbage.
By convention it usually looks like this,

MarshalFormat() ([]byte,error)
UnmarshalFormat([]byte) error

This means that all serialization and deserialization is done on, heap allocated, in memory buffers ( technically also mmaped files, but thats not cross platform).
As the Go GC is ruthlessly optimized for minimum latency, this can potentially cause memory leaks in long running applications.

I think we need a new serialization API that looks more like

SerializeFormat(io.Writer) error
DeserializeFormat(io.Reader) error

yeah we have a guy that actively paints himself into corners. last time was an api he was saying yeah there just this last field to put in, then when you open the code because of the bs reaspn he gives you for not finishing it you realize you have to wreak everithing and start pver cuz there is no ways in hell this would work. and thats just the tip of the iceberg....

Windows 11

The word "shift" in reference to a workday should NEVER be used in a dev environment. There is noservice that needs to constantly be maintained, thats what customer support is for. A shift gives the mentality that you have a set time that you are responsible for a service.

Devs are responsible for finishing a product on a deadline; that is not a shift, that is a fucking workday. I especially hate it when managers refer to them as shifts, because it shows just how little they understand what the devs are doing. They think of bug fixes like they think of flipping burgers; a task that performs a service. It's not a service, stop acting like it is.

Manager: Oh, this feature freeze you where talking about was no joke?
Me: Yes, that's why we have written it into the protocol of the Last Meeting and everyone agreed...
Manager: Thats nonsense, add more Features!

I sometimes cant scroll on devrant in the web version. I can scroll through rants but not the comments of one rant. It just jumps back to tje beginning of the rant all the time.
Anyone else?
It seems to be connected to resizing the firefox window. If it's smaller, gg. Thats it. No comment reading for me.
Anyone else?