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Friend: Man you're a programmer why aren't you a billionaire already like the others??
Me: It's not that easy believe me.
Friend: I have a great idea for an app something like facebook...can be that hard?
Me: :/
Friend: you could do that instead of your no pay opensource shit...
Me: FUCK YOU AND YOUR STUPID BULLLLLSHIT GO FUCKING DIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT !!!! YOU HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE ..STUPID SON OF A BITCH.33 -
Some guy my girlfriend knows, heard I'm a software developer. He had this 'great' idea on how he wanted to start a new revolutionary way of paying on the internet. He wanted to create a service like paypal but without having the hassle of logging in first and going through a transaction. He wanted a literal "buy now" button on every major webshop on the internet. When I asked him how he thought that would work legally and security wise, he became a bit defensive and implied that since I'm the tech guy I should work out that kind of stuff. When the software was ready, he would have clients lined up for the service and his work would start.
I politely declined this great opportunity14 -
Dev1 - hey we need to run some test to ensure delivery on our emails, how should we do it?
Dev2- I dunno, just put {RANDOMSTRING}@somedomain.com and send it. Dont bother to ask @Linux about it, it is a good idea
Dev1 - sounds like a great idea! I'll send a couple of thousands, ok?
--------- TODAY ---------
Me: Hey why are we on blacklist?14 -
"Got a cool idea! Need to check if it is possible. "
*Proceeds to do some research on the internet*
"Oh great! A thread about it from two years ago! It must have the solution there!"
...
*It was me creating the thread two years ago*
Mfw12 -
Android Development be like:
- Has great idea for app or feature
- Boots up PC
- Starts android studio and creates new project
- Build error
- Gradle build failed
- Android studio crashes
- Java Error
- Shutsdown PC
- Goes and hangs himself
Pretty accurate if you ask me 😀😀😀😎18 -
It had been 13 days since I was last approached with a "great idea for an app".
Today, the counter resets to zero!
7 -
Client didn't pay?
Don't worry, I have come across this beautiful repo with a great idea :P
https://github.com/kleampa/not-paid14 -
Most used lie you tell to client: -
Client: “Could you make the software do XYZ?”
Programmer: “No.”
What the programmer really wants to say:
“It’s software. Of course we could do it. But:
it would take a very long time,you can’t afford it,we can’t sell it to anyone else because it’s a terrible idea,by the time we finish it, you won’t want it anymore.”
“No” is just easier to say and is less insulting, especially when the client has a dozen of these great ideas.13 -
I fucking hate people,
I provide a free service for people, and some decide it is a great idea to abuse the shit out of it.
Fuck you18 -
Just an idea.
If I remember correctly, Symbian OS was a free, open-source OS, right?
How about people start working with it again? It could make a great Android alternative if enough were willing to work with it.16 -
Non-dev friend : hey I've got a cool idea, we'll create a site where people can post jobs and people can bid for it. We'll name it freelance.com. We gon be rich!!!!..
Me: okay....
Friend: so you in?
Me: No.
Friend: It's really easy, just build it like you built that website you did the other day (talking a landing page he saw me do in a week). In 2 weeks, we'll be millionaires. You'll do all the programming stuff, so you get 30% of the money, I'm the idea guy so I get the other 70%. About that, you in now?
Me: have you heard of odesk, freelancer, jobberman.
Friend: no... Does a freelance site exist.
Me: boy, it's 2016.
Friend: I just thought of it few minutes ago and my other friends thought it was a great idea.
Me: 🙈🙈🙈🙈😶🔫🔫🔫14 -
*has a great company name idea*
*tries to register domain*
*domain taken*
*looks at whois*
*i already own it*
i don’t know how to feel11 -
Friend: Atom
Me: Vs Code
Friend: Light theme
Me: Dark theme
Friend: I believe there's some kind of energy that rules our destiny.
Me: Haha, seriously, no
Friend: (Starts telling me about some proposal of how he's going to build something).
Me: Yeah that's not going to work.
Friend: (Gets angry and proceeds to explain his idea on a whiteboard)
Me: Ahhhh yeah, sure it looks great
Friend: Dammit!!
Me: (I start telling him about some proposal of how I'm going to build something).
Friend: Yeah that's not going to work.
Me: (I get angry and proceed to explain my idea on a whiteboard)
Friend: Ahhhh yeah, sure it looks great.
Me: Dammit!!
If we didn't have such a solid friendship, I think we'd hate each other by now hahaha15 -
If you ever feel you're not self-confident enough, think about the guy who told his manager at Google about the great idea he had been working on: a T-Rex that jump over cactus when there's no internet connection in Chrome.3
-
Example #1 of ??? Explaining why I dislike my coworkers.
[Legend]
VP: VP of Engineering; my boss’s boss. Founded the company, picked the CEO, etc.
LD: Lead dev; literally wrote the first line of code at the company, and has been here ever since.
CISO: Chief Information Security Officer — my boss when I’m doing security work.
Three weeks ago (private zoom call):
> VP to me: I want you to know that anything you say, while wearing your security hat, goes. You can even override me. If you need to hold a release for whatever reason, you have that power. If I happen to disagree with a security issue you bring up, that’s okay. You are in charge of release security. I won’t be mad or hold it against you. I just want you to do your job well.
Last week (engineering-wide meeting):
> CISO: From now on we should only use external IDs in urls to prevent a malicious actor from scraping data or automating attacks.
> LD: That’s great, and we should only use normal IDs in logging so they differ. Sounds more secure, right?
> CISO: Absolutely. That way they’re orthogonal.
> VP: Good idea, I think we should do this going forward.
Last weekend (in the security channel):
> LD: We should ONLY use external IDs in urls, and ONLY normal IDs in logging — in other words, orthogonal.
> VP: I agree. It’s better in every way.
Today (in the same security channel):
> Me: I found an instance of using a plain ID in a url that cancels a payment. A malicious user with or who gained access to <user_role> could very easily abuse this to cause substantial damage. Please change this instance and others to using external IDs.
> LD: Whoa, that goes way beyond <user_role>
> VP: You can’t make that decision, that’s engineering-wide!
Not only is this sane security practice, you literally. just. agreed. with this on three separate occasions in the past week, and your own head of security also posed this before I brought it up! And need I remind you that it is still standard security practice!?
But nooo, I’m overstepping my boundaries by doing my job.
Fucking hell I hate dealing with these people.14 -
!dev
!!rant
!!rooting while drunk
I got drunk last night and painted my nails. I bought a really pretty shade of purple that should match one of my favorite shirts, and it's my last day at the office today (EVER; lease is up), so dressing up is a great idea, right? I'll feel better and more confident and it'll make everyone miss me.
Except. I was drunk.
And for some reason thought painting them in the dark was a great idea.
Oh, they look horrible!
and apparently I don't own any nail polish remover, so.
Today's going to be the best day ever!
😄😅😢☹22 -
Do you also like the idea, if devRant would have patreon or paypal for donations?
++ the rant if you like the idea. Maybe @dfox and @trogus will consider it then 😄
Servers are not cheap and it would be great if the community would finance itself.
Sure devRant got a Store, but I live in Europe and ordering/shipping is not so cheap, we got huge taxes for it. And I dont wont to order a stressball or sticker every month.
Also every dev wishes for a beer 🍺 😜6 -
Had a team with
1 entrepreneur who has this great billion dollar Idea and want me to sign an NDA before he can share the idea
1 newb who thinks that X language is the coolest because that's what everyone on Hacker news says
1 person who spends more time with other team than yours. I'll be fortunate to even spot him during the hackathon. Aka, "networking guy"
And then there's me, wondering why was I even here in the first place
Oh wait, that's the every hackathon I've been to.7 -
Trashy Girl that literally did not talk to me in over five years and even back then only talked to me if she needed something texts me today:
Girl: Hi :) How are you?
Me: *oh fuck no* Hi! Good, how about you?
Girl: Great! You know how to program apps right?
Me: *Fuck you* Yeah, whatcha planning?
Girl: Sooo my boyfriends brother has an idea for an app, it’s basically like instagram and snapchat but it’s actually *insert location based snapchat ripoff idea*
Me: Well sure but that’s quite a long term project and App Development kinda isn’t cheap to outsource!
No answer.
I’m like what did you expect?
Same shit everyday. Sometimes I consider starting a new life in a country where noone knows I can code, work remote and answer with “pleas” when people ask me what I do.13 -
We all have that one "friend" that has an idea for the "next great" Facebook or Snapchat, but different...
FUCK OFF AND SHOVE THAT IDEA WHERE THE SUN DOESN'T SHINE!
5 -
Uncle- What do you do?
Me- I'm a software engineer
Uncle- My brother's friend's son is also a software engineer.
Me- (so what am I supposed to do about it?) yes that's nice
Uncle- I have a great idea, u should implement, I'm just telling you, it is a revolutionary idea
Me- (oh fuck, not again) yes tell
Uncle- you should make a matrimonial site which tracks what people do on internet and tell their to-be-spouses about it
Me - (yeah, I'll get sued for breach of privacy, and it has got nothing to do with my current line of work, and will probably cause divorces before marriage) yes great idea uncle
Uncle- see I told you this billion dollar idea, u should do hard work and make it
Just WHY in god's name do all uncles think laptop is a magic box in which I just have to type their idea in and it will spit out a website/software in 2 minutes. I don't go around advising them about their line of work.11 -
!rant
Stackoverflow has come up with this great idea of "virtual rubber duck". I just tried it. And I must say that I'm really enjoying it right now!
6 -
How to be a Dev:
Step 1: have a great idea
Step 2: start work on great idea
Step 3: read a blog about someone who also has a great idea and finishes it quicker than you prototype it
Step 4: check back daily and see them gloat about how much money, fame and shit they got from said idea
Step 4: rant about it on Dev rant to vent anger9 -
Yet another someone just contacted me about having a "great idea for an app".
That's a justified rant all by itself.7 -
I just want to say FUCK YOU to the guy who had the great Idea of putting the EDIT button 10 pixels away from the DELETE button on this internal batch processing scheduler tool.5
-
Let's make something in angular sounds like a great idea.
6 months later
Let's port everything from angular to react as angular 2 is a complete rewrite.
Another 6 months later.
I think i like the simplicity of vuejs.
Lets try that now. 😂😂😂1 -
Manager: We really need to save money with this project, so nobody call tech support for anything.
Me: There's this open-source solution that would work great.
Manager: Bad idea! There's no tech support number to call.
Me: ...4 -
EVERY FUCKING DAY ANOTHER RETARD ON MY DOORKNOB WHO HAS TO TELL ME ABOUT HIS GREAT IDEA.
I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT VOICE ENABLED MUSIC PLAYER APPS. SO THAT YOU CAN CHANGE SONGS WHILE TAKING A SHOWER
NO ONE WANTS A GPS TRACKER APP FOR THEIR FUCKING DOG AND HOW DO YOU EVEN REMOTLY THINK THAT YOUR FUCKING DOG HAS BUILD IN GPS ANYWAY
AND NO WE WILL NOT MAKE BILLIONS AND TAKE YOUR 10% SHARE UP YOUR ANUS. YOUR IDEA IS AS WORTHLESS AS YOUR EDUCATION WAS OBVIOUSLY.13 -
Whoever thought it was a great fuck idea to use backslash instead of forward slash in paths, fuck you. Fuck you.6
-
Colleague: Hey want to get access to our repo so we can see each others code, collaborate, discuss design patterns etc?
Me: Yeah sounds like a great idea. Would love to get to know a bit more about how others are building mobile apps in the company.
Colleague: Heres the link to the iOS app: xxxxxxxxxx
*Opens link*
*looks around a bit*
*Opens cocoapods folder*
*Sees 89 dependencies*
Me: .......... actually, you know what, I have major deadlines coming up. I can't look at this right now. Lets talk in the new year.
*closes slack*5 -
tl;dr: thanks! :)
I just love this community.
The idea of devRant is great. The emotions, the shared knowledge in each post. Never seen such densely packed quality content in a social media! :D
I enjoy spending my time here, though I do not post that much. Reading just about the life of @linuxxx, @gitpush @alexDeLarge (to name a few) share with us is just wonderful, it makes me happy! :)
I think this post is meant as a thank you, I guess? Just felt like it... hope you guys don't mind having read a non-dev related post.^^'
btw:
@dfox and @trogus, you guys are awesome as fuck!4 -
The people I work with are so fucking antisocial. Everyone waits until the kitchen is empty before going to get a coffee. Also, the dev next to me seems to think breathing heavily is a great idea. Fuck these people.
Oh...the kitchen is free! Time for coffee!4 -
Today:
Me: I need to reimage my Hard Drive
IT (Professional):we need to check the disk for errors.
Me: no, I need reimage my HD
IT: we shouldn't do that if the disk is bad
Me: the disk is fine we just need to reimage my HD
IT:let's check it anyways to be safe
Me: :/
Three hours later................
HDD: Pass
All checks: Pass
IT: maybe we should reimage the hard drive.
Me: Great Idea
ME: 😵🔫1 -
I used to think the magnetic power cord on the mac was a great idea...until we got a kitten. One of his greatest joys is to play havoc with the cords under the computer desk...but his favourite is the mac powercord - which he rips out without me noticing ... until the mac runs out of power and shuts down...
4 -
be me
first year at the college
C course in computer lab
teacher says "we will connect to school servers via ssh and compile with gcc"
do as said
suddenly a nice idea "can i use sudo?"
try something starts with sudo
server response: "with great power comes with great responsibility. do you want to continue? "
omg its happening, press enter
"you have no permission" sad face3 -
Hey look, npm broke my project again. Surprise!
Code and dependencies on my local machine, all untouched for a couple of weeks, no longer works. I've no idea how it even managed that.
Oh, and `npm update` crashes.
eventually solved by upgrading npm and running `npm update --depth 500` because some arbitrary child dependencies changed without updating the parent packages, ofc. on my local machine. without me having run `npm update` for about a month.
because of course that makes sense.
Second time in two months, too.
isn't npm great?3 -
sometimes I hate python....
Ive just chased down a bug where a simple string saved in a simple dict sometimes came out as a f*cking tuple(!) when I needed it!
turned out that at some point this dict got updated with values from some other dict. And at some other point, I decided it was a great idea to rewrite that update code into individual setter's instead ... and of course forgot to remove one the trailing comma's, thus creating a perfectly legal tuple .... *sigh*
No errors, no warnings - just plain corrupt data....
9 -
Week 26 advice - you all probably know this but good to refresh!
Eat healthily
Sleep well
Document clearly
Annotate your code
Use version control properly
Keep yourself in check with project management tools
Your peers are your friends... And competition.
As much as your boss is an idiot respect them and your life will be easier.
With great power comes great responsibility; don't touch that keyboard until you think through what you are doing chances are your first idea is not the best.
Don't write quick fixes and say you will go back to clean it up later on when you have time. That time will never come.3 -
Every single fucking time:
Developers: Maybe we'll do something nice for the users, like signing in with Facebook account?
Business: Nah, nobody is gonna pay for that and it sounds useless. We're good with current solutions. Just do your job!
half a year later:
Business: Hey, I just came up with the idea that we could have logging in with Facebook.
Also business: Wow, great idea!
Management: Here's your bonus for a great idea!
Developers: ...5 -
If you come up with a great idea in a meeting to solve a problem, be prepared to implement it alone.4
-
I see all these tools for the past few years claiming...
"build an app without writing code"
Great, if you want to build a prototype and then try to find a technical co-founder who can actually build something.
Otherwise, none of us need another shitty cookie-cutter app.
There is a 0% chance you can build anything that will scale without writing some code. Your best case scenario is you sell it to some sucker who doesn't understand that what they are buying is garbage.
I give those folks 3 options...
1. Find a technical co-founder
2. Learn to build software
3. Fuck off
Thinking you can build a software company without building actual quality software if fucking moronic.
Of course, that won't stop the thousands of business grads each year from trying and saying...
"I have such a great idea, I just need someone to build it"
Let's get things straight. You have nothing. NOTHING! You idea is worthless without execution.5 -
Whats the "go fuck yourself" equivalent in your language? Would be great to curse at someone when they have no idea what I'm talking about lol71
-
Me: I'm super tired, it's the middle of the night and I really should get to sleep already...
Brain: hey hey Condor! I've got this great idea, a cryptographic filesystem-level vault that decrypts into different files depending on what key you give it!!! Let's implement it, all-nighter, what do you think? 🙃
Goddammit brain, that's super interesting but not now!!! I need to sleep ffs 😡13 -
While I am in cafeteria and drinking coffee I got a great app idea, hurry quickly home and going to sleep.6
-
Hi Fellas !
I'm new here. I have no idea what makes you get so many ++ and what ++ can do for you.
I'm just feeling better here, it feels like im entering my soul's home!
Weekend is near, what project you gonna do ?
Have a great day !40 -
Boss just phoned me and told me of his great app idea. Says he wants the idea done and implemented by tomorrow 8AM. Meaning I have 8 hours to plan a project, design the app, and implement it.
Well, I'm boned.11 -
"I have this great idea for an app, it'll be like Facebook but better"
How I imagine the conversation went before devrant was made3 -
That moment when you get a great idea for a side project, and you know you don't have the needed skills yet, but you don't care 'cause it just means you're gonna have to learn more... just awesome 😍3
-
After 9 months of my course that involved much fear, anxiety and depression, last night I had a great moment.
Learning about scrapers for my dissertation - watched 10 minutes of a tutorial video then thought of an idea and went away and an hour later had built a little program to read a restaurants menu on their website then read back what they had in the form of a poem - all in a language I hadn't used before that night.
The reason I learnt coding was that I idolised the idea of thinking of a problem and then just solving it with your own code. Last night was the first time I felt like I might be getting there.
:).
p.s. Sorry this isn't very ranty.2 -
Me: "I've just released a new app"
Everyone I know: "I've got a great idea for an app.... I'll give you 10%"
Every. Single. Time. -
Me: Instead of doing X we could do Y, that would be better.
Boss: No, bad idea we keep doing X.
a few months later
Someone external: You could do Y
Boss: That is a great idea. lets do Y.5 -
We gave one of our more 'difficult' clients a quote of 30days to rewrite alot of there application. Two hours later we are in a conference call and they have a 'great idea' they will come in for a whole day and share knowledge to speed it up.
For some reason the project manager has decided that it's a good idea for me to be alone in a meeting room all day with 2 people coming in and an 'expert' Skyped in to watch me programming and 'help out'. With all of there knowledge they think it will only take a day...
It's going to be a long Tuesday...6 -
I love my notebook but still...
Fuck you to the person at Lenovo who thought that it would be a great idea to support 16gb of ram and then put 4gb internal ram into it.
I can add an 8gb stick to it, totalling at 12gb. There are no 12gb sticks (as far I am aware of) so yeah, fuck 16gb "supported" by the mainboard, 12 is the maximum.5 -
today I'm 30, and just like the guy two weeks ago, I'd really love a stress ball.
but that some ain't going to cut it anymore, so here is a great comic:
alt text: Maybe you should keep FEWER backups; it sounds like throwing away everything you've done and starting from scratch might not be the worst idea.
3 -
I would like to take a moment and recognize LiLi as the possibly most outlandish design for any software ever without looking horribly ugly. I mean just fucking look at it, it heavily relies on transparency, it uses traffic lights, it uses weird glowing bars, you cannot resize it, you cannot minimize it, it has this random mash of colors in the logo, it heavily relies on gradients, the border edges are very rounded and aliased, you have no idea where the boundaries of the fucking thing is.
Overall, its fucking great guys. I have no idea where the inspiration came from, but possibly the windows aero and a mishmash of other things?
21 -
Why The Fuck do you always have to say "Yes"?
I'm asking for a goddamn opinion. Give me an opinion.
But no, everything I say must be fucking gold 'cause it's always "yes", "you're right", "good idea", "I agree".
It's irritating as hell. It's "yes" even when I say something stupid on purpose.
Learn to say no, for fuck's sake.12 -
When you have a "GREAT" idea, start to work on it and after 2 hours you have forgot why you have started the project.
Me right now 😖
Sorry for my bad english 😓3 -
Me in my head: I've got this great idea for an app. You can probably build it in a hour. This is going to be awesome!
Ten minutes later: Screw this, can't be bothered anymore. What's on tv.?1 -
Earlier this day i reached 1000++. Nice, isn't it?
Suddenly an idea comes to my mind.
Why not make a rant and thank everybody? And now comes the important part:
Why not make up a funny story telling how i met @dfox and welcomed @linuxxx and @alice on devRant?
Because somehow the story isn't funny at all because nobody got that it was a joke...
Went great...
People think i'm really old (19 btw.)
People think I know @dfox personally
@linuxxx can't even remember how I never welcomed him
So... sry... I guess? But thanks for the really nice comments!9 -
I will be pitching my startup idea for the first time in my life to potential investors one on one after qualifying for a second round in a business competition.
I am nervous 😬, desperately need to get the fund, and haven't been a good presenter.
Background: the business is still on prototype stage.
I stutter by default if I am slightly nervous.
From feedback my prototype is great- but my pitching might not be too great.
Damn I just have less than 6 hours to pitch.
Fuck this nervous mess.
Dev wish me good luck😶14 -
Sooooo.. Aws's route53 and ELB outage nuked all our environments. 503 here, 503 there, 5xx everywhere.
Just sitting and picking nose for we've got nothing else to do now.. Who on the fucking earth thought it might be a great idea to centralize the whole fucking internet into 3 companies' hands!?!
How's your day?7 -
Wanted to build a quick app, thought would be an hour tops. Lets use react native, why the fuck not.
Now after 4 hours im sitting here, wondering why the fuck did i have the great idea of ever touching rn again.12 -
I was getting a segmentation fault and was very confused and had no idea why and the first thing I changed fixed it totally so that was great5
-
It came to me, a brilliant idea, a simple solution to an everyday problem and easy route to market. Great, starts looking for domains and writes down idea in full in case i forget. Later that day, picks up 12 year old son from school, tells him my great idea. He told me how shit it was and why straight away.5
-
I really wonder who is that genius from API team who decided that a namespace with the name "main" is a great fucking idea...
Because of this shit I've had to resort to hacky pImpl implementation of the API.
11 -
Ok fellow ranters. I've scoured the internet for hilarious and enraging stories of programmers being asked to either work for free, or for stock options, or to hack (crack) stuff, etc.
Here's my latest one. A friend who's obsessed with crypto came up with a "great" idea which was for me (of course) to build a landing page for a fake company to trick people into submitting their crypto wallet keys and all that. What started as a joke quickly turned into my friend getting mad at me for not wanting to actually make it lol. Like seriously wtf is with people. All the reasons not to do that scheme are plainly obvious!
Next. Some person who worked for a company I consult with pulled the generic. "I have this great app idea" line & proceeded to of course ask me to "not steal it" lol. It was just an app that would list gluten free restaurants... That's hardly even an idea!!
But what's fucked up about all this is my friend from the first story is so obsessed with becoming a "crypto millionaire" he actually resents me now for not
1. being obsessed with crypto
2. not committing cybercrime on his behalf
Anybody else have enraging stories about stuff people have asked you to do?3 -
Had the great idea to look through all the TODOS in a project, only to find this masterpiece of comment. 👏🏻
2 -
"You're a programmer?!"
"So, I have this app idea and I think it will be revolutionary!! I HAVE GREAT ideas for what it will look like - light blue here and white everywhere else. it's like facebook but different ..."
"It's really going to express my creativity as a person. I've poured my heart and soul into this idea. ITS GREAT RIGHT?!?!"
6 -
Some recruiter just reached out on LinkedIn to talk about a job opportunity with me.
I suggested he give me an idea of the pay range before i proceed and talk to anyone in the company so we dont waste eachothers time.
He said they can realistically pay X/month.
I explained that X is less than half my current salary (Y) so i wont proceed with this.
He replied by saying "oh nice, thats a great salary for your experience"
WTF is that supposed mean? did the bitch say im underqualified to get paid my current salary?10 -
Non tech coworkers before COVID-19: you don't need home office, it's only a way to avoid job responsibilities
Non tech coworkers today: yeah home office is a great idea, why we didn't think about it before2 -
Every time I see a software development company ad on fb I have to resist the urge comment "I have a great app idea, can you make me something like fb but better?"1
-
Facebook: Ok, so we have this really cool idea for native Android and iOS app with React
Devs: Nice!
Facebook: Its gonna take away the need to work with native code!
Devs: Great!
*Reality comes in*
Reality: To make anything work you need to modify native code and use more hacks than there are useless npm packages18 -
Dad just came to me: "I have a great idea for an app you could build"
I thought "Wow.. That's cliché"5 -
"Let's make a Minecraft Server !"
"What about making our own plugins and mods ?"
"Yaaay great idea"
It ended in a week with a very little plugin and a buggy mod but I made some friends like this1 -
Senior dev. "we need a reason why we haven't fully implemented social service signup yet"
Junior dev. "let's say it's new for us"
Senior. "great idea. Let's get this done."
..,
Now try to signup to pixabay using your Google account.... 😒
1 -
A friend sent me this message today: Hey, I have a great idea! An app that remembers your address so that when you are buying something online you don't have to type in your address.
Me: - (giggling)
Me: That's a great idea! I use it everyday. It's called Google Chrome!5 -
Building a wheel is great.
Building a steering wheel is also great
Building a brakes pedal is amazing.
Making them work asynchronously - not that good of an idea is it...
Who the fuck thought separating data stream (copying bytes) from stream control (when does the stream start/end) is a good idea...?
- open a connection
- send data to the stream
- send() returns
- close the connection
Apparently, the send() does not copy the data and returns. Instead, it enqueues the data copying task end returns. When does the actual copying start? IDK. When does it end? IDK. Can I close the conn? NO!
This thing is UNUSABLE. And I'd riddle it with reflection-based workarounds if it weren't for the static methods.
Fuck!3 -
What I hate most about myself is getting a great idea for a project, getting started on it, becoming distracted by other things, forgetting about the project, and having no idea what was going on when I come back to it months later.2
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I used to work IT in an entertainment startup, and now I’m an iOS dev at a big entertainment company. Several people from my old company have been reaching out to eagerly tell me about their new app idea I just have to hear, asking me to help code their app— and have even hinted at me quitting my nice safe job to join their great new startup that doesn’t even exist yet.
I know this must happen to app devs all the time. What do you say?
How do you deal with telling these nice people who just don’t understand it doesn’t work that way, without crushing their dream? I have a coffee meeting planned to tell one of them “You should learn to code so you can make a proof of concept,” but I fear that won’t be received well.
What’s the standard protocol for telling people you won’t be able to code their magic app idea?10 -
1) Heck yeah, great idea
2) Sit like 60 minutes there thinking about a name for the project
3) Build the basics
4) ..meh fuck it2 -
When I was about 10 I decided to set up an imaginary business selling homemade stationary (notepads made of scrap paper!). It was a great way to entertain my younger sister making them whilst I programmed a full POS and inventory management system in BASIC.
Needless to say, my sister got bored of the idea long before I did. 20 years later I still use the same name as our imaginary business for any freelance work! -
So my Product Manager girlfriend just said, "I have a great idea for an app that people will really want. Can you build it for me?". She did not see the irony
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New PM thinks it's a great idea to start micromanaging my team's (private) repo names. Can't wait to hear his opinions on our class and variable names! 😭3
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when you have a great idea for a project, the you open android studio and like ''ok, how the hell do i even start? i'm going to sleep''4
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Client: here's what we want, a website where someone can directly edit any file on the website, php that java thingy all of it. Hell allow them to access, the os so they can see how that works to.
Me: ... Hey great idea ... We could set the server up in your offices ! I could link the server to all your computer's they can modify anything you have on there as well. That won't cause any issues.... At all.
Client: urm why?
Me: *hangs up* sigh ....
It's a fake scenario.... But how I feel like when I speak to clients 😐 based off what some guy wanted to do, a whole training thing for devs to learn how servers work ... The idea is ok to train... Say an apprentice, but he wanted to attach this to the Internet.... Not limit its use... Obviously way to expensive. -
I'm the only one who hates the idea of "overemployment" (people which hoards lots of remote jobs and then split their attention between them while getting a full time salary from each of them)?
If these guys believes to be so good and productive (and some of them definitely are) entrepreneurship or working as independent contractors/consultants is always a great viable options instead of trying to become multi millionaires by "stealing" good jobs which may instead lift people who have very little from poverty or bad jobs.
31 -
Sprint planning:
PO: I have a great idea for a new game changing feature
Team: cool, let’s talk requirements, etc
PO: nah, I trust you can come up with the best implementation possible
Sprint demo:
Team: presents the feature
PO: Why are you guys always doing it your way, instead of following my vision?!
Every single sprint...3 -
!rant
It's nice when a great new idea you have is fairly easy to implement and works well.
My latest idea involves running my discord bot, written in nodejs off of my phone using a terminal app (that doesn't require rooting my phone).
Once I got a branch of the project with no voice support, I wrote a bash script in vim on my phone (an odd experience, I assure you) and ran it.
Things have been working well, far better than trying to use PhoneGap to build something that would run it.
All in all, I'm pretty satisfied, and it was a fun and relatively painless project! (thankfully)
10 -
what a great idea to do server upgrades on a friday evening...and i can do it alone...and am responsible that everything works as expected...what a great day today...and i hate every single second of this day yet.. :-/
damnit i'm a developer, not a sysadmin, just because i can do it doesnt mean that i'm supposed to do it..what about our admins? what get they paid for? rebooting the coffeemachine? fuckers already left the building1 -
I had a USB WiFi dongle installed and working great. Then someone pulled it out of my computer, without talking to me, so they could use it. I found another in the office...exact same model...plug it in. Drivers don't work. Can't update them. Reinstallation crashes. Try to restart computer, it crashes. Restart computer and now Outlook won't even open. No idea what to do now, but this is going on an hour and counting of no productivity.
WTF Windows? You can't even handle a WiFi dongle right?3 -
Real Incident (India)
So, this one time, out of the Blue, my engineering manager said "Let's, Shit together sometime."
I was like "Yeah, Sure. Sounds like a great Idea."
**-(Wondering why am I always so Agreeable to her 😒)
She has a bit of an accent and I realised she actually meant "Sit".
What a bummer!!! I was really looking for some intimacy, not the ideal way, but, it was something nonetheless.
Ha!
Back to the Screen, now!
4 -
Recruiter reaches out to me, he says he saw my LinkedIn and thinks I'd be a great fit.
I say ok and send my resume.
He gets me a phone screen. I do it, I think I do a pretty good job. (I'm able to answer all the questions well, I think I'm onto the coding interview for sure.)
A couple days later I get a generic rejection email.
I'm not sure what happened. They had my resume, I know I did well on the technical questions (I do that kind of thing for my current job all the time.)
No idea why I'm rejected. If it was something about my experience, they could have seen that from my resume. If it was something from my phone screen, I have no idea what it could have been.
Just wanted to rant >:[8 -
It is said that the number of programmers doubles every five years with fresh CS, CE, and EE grads. Assuming that's true, then at any one time over half the developer community are novices in the early stages of their career.
My entire life's been spent in software and I've been in it now for about 15 years and I've seen a lot of people make alot of things and I've seen a lot of people fail at alot of things. My observation is that the doers are the major thinkers, the people that really create the things that change this industry are both the thinker doer in one person. It's very easy to take credit for the thinking the doing is more concrete. It's very easy for somebody say "oh, I thought of this three years ago" but usually when you dig a little deeper you find that the people that really did it. Were also the people that really worked through the hard intellectual problems.
Many people falsely believe that a great idea constitutes 90% of the work. However, there is a significant amount of craftsmanship required to bridge the gap between a great idea and a great product. As you evolve that great idea it changes and grows it never comes out like it starts because you learn a lot more as you get into the subtleties of it and you also find there's tremendous amount of trade-offs that you have to make.
There are certain things you can't make electrons do, certain things you can't make plastic or glass, certain things you can't make factories or robots do. and as you get into all these things, Designing a product involves juggling 5,000 different concepts, fitting them together like puzzle pieces, and exploring new ways to combine them. Every day brings new challenges and opportunities to push the boundaries of what's possible, and it's this ongoing process that is the key to successful product development. That process is the "magic"4 -
Biggest regret is not what I have done, but what I haven't. A long long time ago, in the early 90s, I had a great idea for a game, but somehow I never made it come true. A few years later, Maxis launched a game very similar to my idea, and it was called The Sims.4
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"I have a great idea for a messaging app.
But I can't tell you what it is until you agree to make it for me, I can't pay you right now but I'll pay you back when we make tonnes of money!"
My startup idea: you create apps for people with bad ideas and the fees on a 1 year 'loan' with high penalties for failing to pay. Fair right?3 -
I really appreciate the idea of unlocking items for avatars with a raising amount of ++s!
It's an awesomely elegant way to motivate devs without pushing them and keep them in the regular user base of devrant.
Dear sirs @dfox and @trogus.
You done a very fine job :)1 -
So a team of 3 went to a hackathon. One of us didn't know how to code, the other just front end and I back end.
So we started with some ideas and choose one, starting to code it.
After we were about 80 precent into it at the end of day 2 (the event had 3 days) one of the coaches came to us, saying our idea is already a launched startup out there and we had to have a change of idea at the beginning of the third day.
Other two completed the simple front-end of the new idea about 7am and went to sleep.
And I, while was awake for 50 hours already, had to code backend of a minipay app from scratch in 10 hours.
That was HARD for a newbie like me, but in the end I did it.
We didn't win anything. But that was a really great experience for me. Plus coffee was provided infinitely there ;)4 -
When friends ask you how much a complicated app cost. 20 to 50k on the low end. The mouths drop to the flow and give up on their great idea1
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Me: *Making a very trivial suggestion, that every person with 1 working eye and 1 functional lobe can come up with*
Corporate managers: *Ponder. Verify competitors didn't implement it yet*. Great idea! let's patent it!4 -
At some point, someone on the visual studio team thought: what people need is a clicky-draggy gui for editing yaml files for github actions.
And instead of throwing him unceremoniously out of the window, the rest of the team agreed, and said: yes, that's a great idea, it will be almost as useful as that clicky-draggy gui for editing sql commands.3 -
!dev
It’s midnight, I’m alone in the big house, it’s pitch black outside, I had a few beers already and I thought it would be a good idea to watch some horror stuff..
I want to go out to have a smoke but I’m scared as fuck now.
There are cats running around in the dark and there are so many great opportunities for some alien zombie monsters to hide and sneak up to me..
Think I became too old for this shit.
HELP!!!7 -
Friend has great idea for a software project built on top of OpenAI's API.
He wants it to be freemium, littered with ads.
He doesn't code. I think he's hinting at me to build it for him and I'll continue acting aloof.
I will not build software that's funded by ads.
Fuck ads. I hate ads.5 -
Maybe two days ago I expressed interest in creating a dynamic HTML templating system.
Here's what I came up with. template.js only 34 lines. Which is great because JS is ugly and I want the least amount of it as possible.
The idea is you can create hiddent templates, modify them using traditional means (HTML/ CSS), then generate an infinite amount of them in JS.
Btw: Screenshot is two different images stitched together. There isn't JS and HTML in the same place.
19 -
It is not on production anymore, but it was for long enough. Someone thought it would be a great idea to be able to debug a web app while signed in as a user reporting a problem. How to do it? It's easy. Just check on every request if magic HTTP parameter SIGN_IN_AS=id is present and if it is, sign in as this user. Of course, it worked also with admin account with hard-to-guess id=1.1
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My first project is finished xd. i was in designing but merging it with coding was a great idea. It has got a serial system amd an auto updater. Yep it is a cheat injector xD rate for a guy who just started coding.
6 -
What's wrong with motivation?
Each time I have a great idea at work, I stop working, I search for informations and then, when I'm home, I can't motivate myself to work.6 -
Great (but clueless) client. I went to a meeting with the client to discuss a way forward for his website revamp. First off he showed me his idea, which was a visual of the Windows desktop, with folders for different sections of the website, click on a folder and it opens revealing the different website pages. It went on basically describing how windows works. When he'd finished I said, with a cheeky smile, "that must be one of the fucking shityest ideas I've ever heard". We both started laughing.3
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Colleagues at my part-time job:
"You study programming right? Amazing we've got this great app idea, we'd love to see a finished product in 2 months"
Me: "..."3 -
Alright, server got hacked a week ago. Bad enough on its own but okay, perfect time to change the server infrastucture completely instead of doing it later this year. Since Saturday we are working on setting everything up (game server, apache, etc.pp.) while making sure to configure everything correctly to be safer this time.
We are finally at the point where we could go back online. And what happens? One team member _now_ (6 days after the hack) suggests that it might be a good idea to format the hacked server and configure just what we need to patch the clients with it.
Great fucking idea, why didn't you have that idea 5 days earlier?! There was more than enough time already to format the old server and configure it. Another day delay, yay. X_X
Aaah, ranting really helps in those situations. Oh and Hi, I'm new here. Nice place, I like it. ^_^2 -
What is it with the rising trend of password fields allowing you to see your password, and (worse than that) often having it as unmasked by default?!
Who woke up one day and said "Damn, you know what would be a great idea? Unmasking the password field, so everyone can see it! Why didn't we think of that before?!"
Dahh.7 -
Ok so apparently somebody at Google gcp thought it would be a great idea to be able to select more than one instance at a time and select something like delete and it goes ahead and deletes it without any sanity checks.
3 days down the tube5 -
I wish more workplaces realised how stupid it is to quibble, argue, debate etc. about stupid things like buying Devs intellij licenses. I mean sure, we'll throw a meeting to discuss it, argue back and forth, ignore questions about why the sales guys always get any new tools they want, and then waste more on meeting time than the damn license would have cost... Great idea...1
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Apple's idea of innovation - 2017: AR mapping your face to a poop emoji
Honestly, they shouldn't have bothered with this, and release something great next year.3 -
Me as a dev most of the time:
✓ great project idea
✓ create a skeleton for the project
✓ gather all the info needed
❌ Time to do the actual work on my project
Leave it for months unattended
Randomly write 5-10 lines of code3 -
Let's face it: I am and will always be a tinkerer. Yes, I know my ways around, I can sneak into legacy code bases easily and throw new stuff in there, I've seen software stacks. But scarcely sound design, really modular. Even from the cleverer, experienced ones. They can master more complexity, so they can handle more spaghetti. Some essay from the 80's had this grand idea to organically 'grow' software. That's how it looks like most of the times: cancerous, parasitic super fungi (armillaria). Yeah, we all know have to fight bit-rot and entropy, but it was all lost before already. We'll never get rid of legacy protocols, legacy code.
And even when we go green field, start a fresh. Yeah, take a great design, make everything new, after some months of throwing features and outer constraints at the thing, it's the same old mud again.
But we can still dream on: some day I will design great APIs, I will have great test coverage, documentation, UML design, autometed tests, fuzzing, memchecking, I'll work professionally, clean coder style.
Pfft forget it. Maybe change for consulting, because we'll continue to dream of the 'clean' code, so you can sell the next 'recipe', development method. It's like diets. As effective. For the one selling.2 -
Your "feature" just became my problem. Your "great idea" is now my migraine. What you did in 300 lines, another team was already doing in 5.
The next time you `brew install...` on your laptop, you should fucking think that the infra team has to install those dependencies, on every server, too.
In less time than it took you to create your code, I could have given you several functions to call. I could have saved all of us weeks of work. Fucking ask cross-team before you cowboy code your next big idea please.
Got a problem you need to be solved, somebody else probably solved it, just fucking ask.6 -
Can some drone operator please end my suffering existence?
I just got on a bus from Berlin to Munich (8h trip) and apperantly some fuckwits thought it was a great idea to destroy the GOD DAMN FREE WIFI. ONLY DRUNK ASSHATS COULD BE SO STUPID. I need a podcast to sleep well but since I already used up my mobile data volume, I'm stuck in here, surrounded by idiots and lost to the world.4 -
Beautiful is better than ugly.
Explicit is better than implicit.
Simple is better than complex.
Complex is better than complicated.
Flat is better than nested.
Sparse is better than dense.
Readability counts.
Special cases aren't special enough to break the rules.
Although practicality beats purity.
Errors should never pass silently.
Unless explicitly silenced.
In the face of ambiguity, refuse the temptation to guess.
There should be one-- and preferably only one --obvious way to do it.
Although that way may not be obvious at first unless you're Dutch.
Now is better than never.
Although never is often better than *right* now.
If the implementation is hard to explain, it's a bad idea.
If the implementation is easy to explain, it may be a good idea.
Namespaces are one honking great idea -- let's do more of those!1 -
Looking at my reflection on the laptop screen while it is being upgraded, and thinking that the career choice i made 11 years back was probably not a great idea.
I don't understand amazon-cloud, very little knowledge of DBs, can't write a single JS class without googling, block chain are meh, don't even know python, working with a team that abuses my framework in front of me, working 12 hour shifts for last 3 years... What is my life's purpose?2 -
It's been a long time since I last posted, I saw it as a good thing - I hadn't had stuff to complain about.
Until my fucking idiot mush-for-brains asswipe roommate locked me out of my own apartment!
Fucker is squatting with me, and while I'm away for work, decides it would be a great idea to change the locks and conveniently forget to mention it.
It's taking a lot of energy not kicking him out.1 -
A close friend of mine and i talked a while back and it went a little like this.
friend - "You like programming right"?
me - "Yeah"
friend - "I got a great idea"
She never really told me what the whole idea is. She said its easier to explain face to face but i can guess it's dev related.
But here's the issue. I have a tendence to just suddenly loose all motivation for a project (look at my github) and i'm afraid that i'll loose motivation for the thing she wants to do with me and i'll disappoint her.
Do i help her with her idea or not?
Keep in mind that i'm not a actual dev. Its just kinda my hobby. I can do it for free. Thats not the problem.7 -
God damn I hate that "smart" and "convenient" autoscrolling to focus areas which has kind of exploded on webpages, most of the time just fucking the user over while one is trying to read something or generally use the site.
Pages bouncing all over with shitty response, who the fuck thought that were a great idea, they should've been put in the ground as a Thank you.1 -
So I thought of a great idea while I wrote a comment.
The best way to trap a dev would be to leave a computer that's halfway through installing Arch Linux the dev will see it and start working on it. The capture time will be between 5-12 hours depending on the dev's masochism rate.3 -
When you get this great idea at 2 am, code it out and the next day you wonder why you even bother to be a developer
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When you have a great idea but work and other projects delay it... When you finally get around to it, someone seems to have had the same idea, at the same time, but actually made it happen!
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adding a nightmode feature, i.e prevent access to DevRant after midnight, would be a great idea!
I have to sleep, but I'm addicted.
HELP my precious soul!1 -
Today I tried to make an asp.net app and publish it to iis all without the help of Visual Studio. This is teribly difficult!
Then I had a great idea for website to store my .ppt and .doc files (and other school shit) with mongodb and tried node.js as backend. Holy shit did I really host everything all in 10 lines of js!?!?!!! Comment some great tutorials. -
Let me guess, using regexes in the mousemove event handler isn't a great idea.
How fast are simple regexes, anyway?
I have /^(\d+)(.*)$/, because I want to animate a css property that might have some unit.15 -
I always hate how I get a great idea for an app/game, and then I open up the play store and a very similar thing is on the first page.5
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Is it wrong to want to watch the world burn because some fuckwit decided to make a library that matches the path of another library almost exactly, that also has classes named the exact same fucking thing, but that are incompatible with each other was a great idea? Worse is that some dev at my place decided to mix and match them, and then didn'tcomment it's use or fucking why they did it.
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A colleague of mine had a 'great idea' and started a crowdfunding project on kickstarter;
A microblogging application to host on your own server. The max amount of characters per message was 140.
The prototype was even built on bootstrap!
Such a original idea!!
4 -
I have a great idea:
Remove # from tags if people forget.
It should be easy to implement and it will finally shut up those purists.8 -
Open office plans are a GREAT idea. Nothing says productivity like hearing a pin drop from across the building. Who needs good acoustics anyways? And you bet your ass the moment anything sensitive to background noise is going on you're no longer allowed to communicate at all, because even a potato plugged into an audio jack can hear you whisper from 50 feet away. Good thing we don't do that often - only on days that end in Y, I assume.2
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TITANOSAURUS CRAP!!!
Whose idea was to send an e-mail at 11pm about a dev job convention for this weekend!!! And on top of that there will be testing to weed out the candidates!
SIMPLY GREAT! I have to be off town for unavoidable family matters for three days without Internet connection...
Thanks a lot automated mail system for letting me know 4 days in advance that I will fail!!!
It's not that things were awful enough, now I have one more reason to be stressed, get more rashes and weep internally! -
Best review I have ever read in Mac App Store: „Idea and Icon are great, but it does not work as expected“1
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A client brought us a project once related to drones. Our team came up with a great solution for the problem and pitched it back to the client. After going back and forth and beating us up on the price, they ultimately got cold feet and stopped responding to us.
Flash forward several months and wouldn't you know it, NASA and Lockhead Martin have the same idea and file the patent. Could have been sitting pretty if the client just went through and filed our design first which would have barely cost anything.2 -
Why does it always follow the same format?
Me: we should do do and so because xyz. Alternatives are this and that because uvw.
Manager: no, I'll hire another manager.
[Q]uit, [T]ry again? T... fml
Manager 2: let's have a meeting.
Meeting almost ends up being about an entirely irrelevant topic. Barely get the requirements before the end of the day.
Me: write summary following conventions.
Manager 2: let's hire another manager. Manager 1: great idea, manager 2!
Manager 3: let's build a spaceship!
[D]evsplain, [R]agequit, [T]ry again?
class Manager:
"""This shouldn't be too hard..."""
... -
The work is not going so great. How to keep up w the constant rejection and negativity I have no idea at this point. Why have I become such a negative person in every aspect of life 🥹1
-
More and more of my friends and family are finding out I'm an Android Developer. I'm so sick of hearing, "Hey, I have a great idea for an app...". They all think you can build a good mobile app from scratch in a few days.2
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It turns out that using bash without "set -u" (without it, bash replaces every unset variable with an empty string, without error or warning), isn't such a great idea when you change your script later and you forgot to delete the following line:
rm -rf $OBJ_PATH/*11 -
My dumbass colleague thinks the best idea to a Restful API backend is to store some kind of session based on the token.
It'd be great if that remained as an idea instead of this 11 month-old system he built before I got in.
MOTHERFUCKER.
Yes, it does mean that if the server boots for whatever reason, everyone has to login again to get a valid token LOL6 -
Requirement: "Build teleport using a teapot and some tape"
Yesterday I spent most of my working day staring at the screen thinking about it, without being able to write a proposed implementation document. I felt the most useless person in the universe.
Me, today at daily stand-up meeting: «Honestly I have no idea on how to proceed, please assign me a different task.»
Manager: «Well, just think about it a bit more»
Great.1 -
My apologize to everyone I told that functional programming is declarative.
It's actually imperative. Thank you @AndSoWeCode for figuring that out. I spent the whole day thinking about it.
Lisp is imperative. It's just different way to define the exact data transformations, and that's quite imperative.
On the other hand, HTML, CSS, config files and markup languages are declarative.
But writing the imperative program which is configured with declarative configs seems like great idea. Consider Apache web server and others.3 -
As somebody who works in the industry, 2FA is a great idea, we need to do it more.
As a user, fuck 2FA, I ain't have time for that shit, if you make me type my screen lock once again I will throw my computer out of the window.8 -
Today after 6 years I used windows in my cousin's laptop for the first time... I felt really bad for the people still using windows..
Tried to fix a dll problem in her system and still no idea how to fix that shit...
Great job Microsoft...11 -
!rant
So Microsoft thought it was a great idea to force-install updates and restart my Window Server 2016.
Please, Microsoft. It's time to stop.6 -
Hey, I have a cool idea about a new way to solve a problem our users are having!
Type type type, now I have a working prototype! Show it to the team, everyone loves it. Polish it a little, it works really great!
Now let's test it on an iPad like the ones our users have... Nope, nothing works, undefined is not a function.
F*CK YOU SAFARI, you're why we can't have nice things. 😤 -
I do not work developing, besides this is really a passion for me. Said that, today I was talking with my boss.
Boss: Your idea is great, I love this tool you made.
Me: Thank you, I just need to finish some details, this last dramatic change in our structure messed up with a lot of things.
Boss: Yes, I have some ideas to we code more.
Me: Great! I love development! We can do ...
Boss: No, we can use your time with other things as it is more expensive. I'm going to get a boy still in college to develop.3 -
Fuck you phpQuery, and the horse you rode in on! 😡
Previous devs: "I have a great idea lads. Let's use a library that hasn't been maintained in 5 years." -
I will always be grateful to those friends that were patient enough to show me how WordPress worked when I had no idea, to the one that encouraged me to start learning rails, etc.
Because I've meet such great programmers that are just horrible persons and I've learn to appreciate my friends who have always been there everytime I couldn't get things around.
I'll always be grateful to you guys :)2 -
Apparently, calling a function recursively for 18572 times isn't a great idea.
And apparently, too many log statements can stop a script.
Otherwise, I am getting a stackoverflow error if I remove log statements.2 -
To solve an issue of slow data retrieval on an app, I suggested pre-loading the data once a week and storing it in a spreadsheet ready for instant download.
"Great idea. If more data gets added to the database after we download the data, will the spreadsheet we downloaded also update?"
Seriously, I understand that not everybody is technical but fuck me how do you expect us to update a file on your computer? -
I'm a beginner in the programming world and I know this is kinda crazy. But how great is the idea of me specializing in C++(not saying just that) ? Will I have a lot of scope? I'm already learning frameworks like qt. So am I wasting my time? Thought I should hear from ppl in the field already. Thanks9
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Who the fuck thought "hey! Safari on iOS would be a great idea!"? Decidedly that cuntfuck thought integrating the worst browser on shitty devices everyone faps to was *the* idea of the century.
No Mac? Go fuck yourself in the ass if you want to debug that shit with any device that has the fucking Apple logo. Prolapse™ by ProlApple, or Applapse rather.
My problem? I'm compiling typescript to straight fucking ES5 JS, why the fuck isn't it fucking working on iOS 10.2/3?! Is it still running ES1 Pre-Alpha RC-0.2.7 ?!! Even internet explorer is working...
Gah.
(Not meant to offend anyone, just expressing some frustration) -
You've got the perfect architecture lined up, a great idea about how to transition and you're about to start refactoring. Then it hits you. You've got 10 clients running your code in production and you'll have to migrate their data to the new structures, from the blob to each new microservice datastore. For each release. FML.1
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please tell me who had the great idea that someone should put screen shots of a web page in a excel sheet to include as their "bug" report. I cant fathom that someone once thought this idea was "good"1
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Cartoon idea is absolutely outstanding! Great stuff @dfox and @trogus (can never remember how to spell tims name so sorry if wrong)3
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In a conversation about which editor to use to edit pod file, this guy said nano.
I thought what a great idea to piss off both vim and emacs people in a single shot 😂2 -
"hey, you know that help site that our main app users rely on to know wtf is going on?"
"yeah...?"
"let's change the URL without pre-planning or advance warning for any relevant teams, and just tell them afterwards!"
"hell yeah, great idea!"
seems like information here is on a need to know basis, if you need to know then you definitely aren't getting it1 -
me: *Taking Applied Statistics with R in the Math Department in my college*
classmates: "Did you get what's going on in that class?"
me: *never took statistics* Well I can get the programs to run, but I have no idea what they're telling me"
classmates: "I might get what's going on... if I could get the code to work."
me: "Well we're both doing great, then"1 -
I shot myself in the foot again!!
These incident usually happen at restless night.
Some night I become too restless so I do what any programmer would do, I program.
The "novel" idea just come up and I code until I become too tired. I usually finish the prototype of the project before I fell asleep.
I usually found out that I have reinvent the wheel the next morning! Great. My "novel" idea is not too "novel" after all.
It is hard to find the novel project these day since it is too hard to beat the decade of collective intelligence of programmer.8 -
I was using SimpleDateFormat and everything was great but then next thing I find out, the time offset for GMT is stored as Z and not +00:00 which is the format I needed for API calls.
Every other time zone follows a similar format but yet somebody thought it was a good idea to switch it up for GMT
3 -
I've had this idea for some time now. How about a website that gathers some of the most well written open-source code and allows you to easily read it for educational purposes? Everyone says that reading source code can be a great learning tool but directly jumping into github is not very friendly to newcomers. I saw what underscore.js has done with the annotated code link and I think it's great. What do you think?6
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!rant
I have a (imo) great idea for a small game, but I have no idea where to start or in what order I should work on certain features...
My programming skills themselves should suffice, I just have no idea what to begin with...
Does anyone here have any suggestions?12 -
I gave a very small overview of the flutter sdk a whiiiile ago and I have been thinking about going back to it. Currently considering between 2 courses on udemy that are at a discount price. I love the idea of dart as a language and prefer declarative ui building over xml shittyness. I was an Android/ios development for 2 years and hated every minute of it, but really love the idea of building mobile apps.
What are your thoughts and considerations on this? Should I jump right in or just leave it asside? What are your success stories with flutter and what did you use to learn the framework besides the docs? How easy are things like state management and persistent storage with flutter compared to android and ios?
I will eventually make my own decission by building sample projects, but hearing from the community would be great.5 -
!rant
You know you achieved some great dev and had a great idea when someone says "Yeah! I use it all the time look! It does everything for me"
Just wanted to share some very welcome appreciation! -
I promise to donate once half of my monthly gross income to charity for research on ASD, the year that I'll be able to enjoy all of my holidays without some smartass thinking that it's a great idea to deploy a huge untested upgrade to Production.
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Article 13 has gone through.
If you have a startup idea, move outside the EU to avoid millions of dollars of copyright fines.
Get the memes, get tor, get vpns, research how people get around the great firewall of china, because the EU just asked china to hold its beer.
I pity whoever's job it is to implement this piece of shit.
12 -
For years I've been working with SVN, It was great! and I though nothing can be better.
I've heard about git, even used it for some time but more or less like svn.
Now, after switching jobs I had to work with git so I took tutorial and man.
This 3 trees idea and branch for task is sooooooo Awsome! I just love it!
should learn it way long time ago.
and that's why in our world one should always learn deeply technology before think he understands it.2 -
I'm in love with Webpack but jeeeeeesus when it breaks in obscure ways maaaaan
Like, I got it working earlier, no errors, everything looks great... aaaaand website is blank. No page, no source, not even anything in the console, just blank. Over an hour later... turns out removing the output target fixes it. Why? No idea. Nothing.2 -
Please don't try to decipher your code from 5 years ago, it's a mistake. Thought it would be a great idea to bring an old project back to life. Turns out it is not. Not when I can't understand my own code...3
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1) Have a great idea
2) Ask a friend who knows how to code to do all the work
3) Get rejected
4) Repeat until you find a sucker
5) Profit 💰 💰 -
Folks, it's happening!
Look at this shit: they managed to create a web editor / infrastructure technology which enables you to write backends blazingly fast. No deploy time, no git (versioning with feature flags).
Sadly, this comes with the worst vendor lock-in ever. But it is still a great idea to take the approach to drastically remove complexity out of today's software.
https://darklang.com/
I am torn. But I would prefer if it was OSS of course (to be able to self-host it).7 -
I tried to convince my boss that choosing ruby on rails would be a great framework for the projects they want me to develop. I even put together a presentation to show why it's capable.
I did it because I've completed a great course on coursera, and wanted to gain more experience in real projects.
Yet they've dismissed the idea cause there is noone else working at the company who has any competence in rails, so I have to do all the work in yii. There are lot if similarities between the two framewoks but I have no interest in php and I haven't touched php in like, 8 years...
Need to find a way to practice rails in the meantime.1 -
It's always great idea to map common keyboard shortcuts to something completely different, such as when IDEA sets the default behaviour of Ctrl+Y to "remove the line under caret". Thanks guys, I love surprises, next time try something with ctrl+c.
Note to my future self: when installing the IDEA again, remember to remap the ctrl+y..1 -
Yaaay ! got A Really Great and Interesting idea for an App, and just woke up and ended up fogetting it. FINALLY
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The positive side of EnvVars...
So a couple of weeks ago I moved all api keys and db passwords to environmental variables on the server so that I didn't have to keep worrying if I'm live in my test environment.
Earlier I shat myself after an apt-get upgrade broke php and apache somehow decided it's a great idea to serve all .php files as plain text. I was super relieved to find no confidential information (apart from logic) was made public. -
Python list and dictionary comprehension is some crazy awesome black magic. More languages should have these.5
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Why does the Fat Free Frameworks (F3) $db->exec() method have its array count from 1 and not 0.
Instead of doing:
[$param1, $param2]
You have to do:
[ 1=> $param1, 2=> $param2]
WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT THAT WOULD BE A GREAT IDEA?
This is something that PHP PDO gets right, AND I FUCKING HATE PDO!!!4 -
Finally start and finish my old browser game idea
I've been finishing old ideas of mine and it feels great, thought I don't plan on making money on it as I did at the time -
I wonder how legal coinhive usage is, since it's a great idea, but users for sure will piss their pants if they find out youre literally driveby mining bitcoins. Also how comparable is it to ads etc.2
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It's raging when you have a great idea but you're not in the good environment (like not having a desk) to code it...
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Friendly reminder for hackathons, a great idea is better than a great app.
I saw amazing creations, from a virtual reality rowing machine to a camera that read a Connect 4 game into a AWS server live.
Yet, the hack that won the popular vote was an app that would tell your friend, through texts, where you were when you're heading over to pick them up.
A simple concept to implement, but a great idea.1 -
My idea is really good actually my startup is doing great now.
But my first time pitch was a terrible one in front of a small investor. He trolls me but now in bootstrap mode we have more than 50+ customers world wide2 -
Friend just quit job, tells HR in an exit interview about how they are putting marks over people just for not share ideas or disagree on decisions of HR.
HR goes and put marks over all the people that was friend of my friend.
Even the ones related to his algorithms club.
(By putting marks I mean: points at/put final notice letters/similar)2 -
I had this great fun idea and i started programming immediatly. Yes! i'm feeling great and this is going to be amazing!
But Oh! then i had this amazing and super fun idea! It's almost the same, although it requires me to make massive changes to the code... Ok, no problem, i can do this. It's my project and it's fun. This is going to be great!
But then... FUCK2 -
How come big tech companies get away with stealing and modifying other people’s great ideas and incorporating them into their existing giant platforms thereby stifling the start-up with the original idea?
Why do we clap when this happen?3 -
I'm looking for an idea of a project to do over the next few days, if anyone could give me a project idea that'd be great3
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That time when you are taking about personal projects with other developers and their past frustrations come into the project discussion all of the sudden. Like, I just wanted to communicate about this great idea I got with other developers, not about how it cannot be done, or how someone else thinks I cannot get it done. I can stand this happening the first 1000 times, but not the next 10000 times.
I feel that this happens to other people as well, but there is just no talk about it anywhere.3 -
I’ve got a great idea for an app.
So, it’s like the apps that allow you to pay rent or pay power bills or you know... order things... manage things... all the user interface apps out there that we use... but the twist is... that we could make apps like those / that don’t fucking suck! What do you think? Just make things... that aren’t super shitty and useless and beyond frustrating.
Who’s in?
I bet it would even make you more money than doing a super fucked half-assed job.10 -
Browser plugin idea:
Hide all comments that contain blank spaces between words and following punctuation. (Like this .)
This would like eliminate 90% of rambling ranting hate spouting madmen from any comment section!5 -
Generally have great experience with our management.
I work at a scale-up, so I've had some run-ins with the founder shifting priorities too often in the early days, but he's got enough notion of tech to understand when we're telling about the why(not)s of what we can and can't do
A while back we got a product owner/manager/scrum master and he's great too. I've had times when he put pressure on making deadlines when it was really not helping, but overall great guy with a lot of empathy and respect for his team.
But recently I've been starting to feel like we (the dev team) are getting more and more excluded from the decision-making process of the features & designs that we're going to be working on. We used to have a say in what we felt like was a good idea for a feature or a design, but it feels to me like we don't get asked that question any more of late...
Not sure if I'm imagining it, or overreacting to a logical (possibly positive?) evolution in our development workflow... -
Once and a while a smarty pants developer I like will mention something and I'll assume they use it often and have vetted it. In this case, I'm pretty sure the person only used WordPress Pods once on some very specific thing - because after digging into it and using it on a project, I can't imagine this being a good idea... This is definitely its own path... It sure is a lot of extra work to get some basic relationships going. I'm sure it's great for some people, but for me - it's a lot of fighting what is supposed to be helpful.1
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What's your thoughts on "nano learning"? For example having devs watch a 5 minute education video once per week rather than watching a 20 minute education video once per month.
I used to think it was a great idea, cause as devs we kinda do nano learning all the time on the fly while we are coding and googling.
However after my organisation has started sending us 5 minute education snippets - I've reconsidered.
Since it takes a few minutes to context switch from your current task to an education about something completely different it feels like an annoying chore.6 -
For me Jetbrains idea based IDE/editor in part does just about everything right. Only need to really change the redo shortcut. They provide a warning now so you don't lose your undo history on ctrl+y.
On console both Emacs and vim work for me. These days I prefer vim. Nano will work when I'm a pinch but the lack of undo is really annoying. Especially when the cat walks over the keyboard. You just need start all over unless you can see what he did.
Vim has vertical block so you comment/uncommented stuff real fast. The cange word and change till are also real time savers. Vi is to basic and annoying for me, rather use nano than.
Gedit works great for me when viewing or editting a file real quick.
So yeah the situation dictates what tool suites the best.
Idea is where I can spend my time the entire day so if I had to choice one that would be it. -
Fuck me...
I had to get up at about 5am this morning to go to uni. From there I went to my GGJ site. I gave not one, but two mattresses to a friend so I'd have one if someone has the great idea to borrow my mattress. It's fucking 3:22am now and both are taken. Next year I'll bring a mattress for everyone I know... -
When you have a great idea and 'possibly' the skills to pull it off
But...you lack the bank account and the experience to confidently try, as well as the social ability needed to attempt crowd funding1 -
This may be wrong, but I've come to see, that it's really easy to find out, who programs because they like it, and who does it for the work. Simply ask: "if you had a really great idea for a program, would you make it open-source?"
Most of the time, people who want to make it open-source, are the people who genuinely like to code. At least that's the observation I've made.1 -
Rant("
I wonder if Orchardcms with its great idea to replace the mvc pattern with an mpvchds pattern (model part view controller handler driver shape) should inject dependencies of IHateble, IBullShitService and IFuckingFuckshitCMS Interfaces.
");2 -
“Oh lie and let us get away with stuff by giving us total control over what you remember so we can bamboozle you and you can look like you’re either weak or complicit“ oh yeah great idea.
Get right on that .
Far as I can tell you people are all permanently crazy because you all do just that
And your balls are gone9 -
Updated Android on my phone and I was looking for a full minute where's my music app... to find it's now called "Samsung Music" -.- what a great idea...
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I sadly don't remember who set this up and posted it on devRant (give me a distro) but it seems to be down :/
Would be glad to host it again if needed, I think it is a great idea. ^^
5 -
Not a rant.
I’m tinkering for some months at something . Something that i want to turn into a startup, but i feel a little burned out, i have all this thoughts now that’s a shit idea that no one would even want it , even though i had great feedback and some users are already using it.
How do you guys deal with things like this?5 -
i always come up with great ideas and think how cool they would be once i program them, the problem is that i'd need instagram's user base to put my idea in action1
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About a year ago I had the great idea to enforce ago I had the great idea of proposing that we all lint our legacy code base using eslint to increase the overall quality of our JS.
I distributed the task of initially fixing all the errors eslint would find to the whole Frontend team (Luckily we only use JS there). I've finished my part in a couple of weeks and came across this piece of spaghetti.
One of the guys who has been with the company for over 10 years said, that the guy who wrote this monster was very proud of it...
In case you cannot understand what this does: It calculates the distance between 2 points on earth.
9 -
So I have a pretty decent job on a more than good wage working for a larger company... I have my own team and get a good bit of responsibility with the role..... But the culture outside of my team is non existent....business is a mess and everything is a war to get anything done... I wish I could just take my team and do my own thing.... So.....
An old colleague and a great friend wants us to do our own thing... The money looks good... There is great demand... She is already doing it and making great money and turning down work and wants an equal partner in the business idea.. Equal equity split...
.... Why am I so worried about leaving a job I don't really have much loyalty too? Ironically the friend wanting me to go do our own thing with hired me here and got me promoted!
I want to go do it but something is keeping me here and I don't know what.... Am I just making excuses not to go?
Am I being rational wanting to stay or tricked of this false security a big firm offers?
Thoughts in the comments plz4 -
There isn't many Dev bootcamps where i am from but i think they are a great idea for anyone that codes as you can get new ideas and learn new skills no matter what your ability
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Hy to all,
I managed to install Archlinux after 3 days of continues documentation but I still have some problems that I need to solve.
1. Any idea how to run gnome-terminal?
I've set the locale if you guys are wondering and installed vt3.
2. Couldn't install visual studio code.
3. How do I install themes. I have gnome gui.
I've read the arch documentation but still can't figure out how to solve some of the problems. If you guys have a website with a good guide or any tips that would be great.
Thx in advance.1 -
Got really happy that I could use the new Boolean work item templates fields in TFS 2017 after upgrading from 2015....Turned into bludgeoning my head against the keyboard when I realised Microsoft decided it was a great idea to not including any way of validating said Boolean field. Time to go back to using Yes/No drop downs, or resort to dirty hacks....
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Ok, so I've been down voting a few rants that I knew were reposts. But is there a way for people to find out before they post if the rant has already been posted?
The newcomers may not know if it has been posted before and down voting may not be a great idea to welcome them. :-)
cc: @dfox2 -
Also the designer: lets change every basic style this site has. Refactor the fonts, the colors and all sections.
Sure, great idea to totally fuck up this site! -
I even gave him a plus 1 this time :P
even if he's ranting like a robot troll :P
and i took down the general computing bucket list idea since last time noone liked it even though I like the idea of creating a reallllly big pile of crap to pay people to sift through and integrate and double check against a project roadmap.
upgrading the os structure to something corporate and finding a way to pay all people who participate in COMMUNITY projects would be a great idea.
and all of you with anti social personality disorder can stay home and call people psychopaths.9 -
Tuesdays are great days to waste in meetings with vendors that have no idea of what they're talking about. Too bad these people always manage to convince the business side.
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Public reset API for every online food service?
That would be a great idea, if you consider running a cronjob every day witch randomly selects items form your FavoriteFoodArray.1 -
Just please make the rule, if you don't have a cookie, don't show the pop up asking you to register for shit. If I haven't been to your site before, I DON'T WANT TO SIGN UP TO ANYTHING BADGER TURD!! Are there people that actually do that? If so, they deserve a whole evening talking to a project manager about their next great idea. Or, being flayed with a potato peeler. Which ever is worse.1
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In the middle of a deployment call and the dev wants to "add a feature" on the fly (what could go wrong right!?). Next thing I here on our phone call is the client saying "great idea let's add that feature now! I'll wait to test!" Wait... WHAT THE FUCK is the client doing on this deployment call?!1
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@dfox
first, avatars are a great idea!
BUT I dont eant to wait until i have "n ++" to change the what computer (mac/non mac) is on my avatar/profile image. [the thing with the desk and watch is ok, but i think unnessesary. I wear a moto 360 every day so why schiuld i have none or another one that dose bot look like the one i am wearing on my profile picture]
COULD "BADGES" BE A SOLUTION ?
3 -
Hey guys I am looking for some career advice
I am currently a Bachelor's student in Melbourne, Australia and I am trying to source a placement (internship) but I have had no success in it
So if anyone could give me advice on how I could advance my career it would be great
P.S. I have also heard about the hidden job market here but I have no idea on how I could tap into that6 -
Kinda weird posting it directly after @OmerFlame but…
JoyRant has image upload now.
With image preview. Great idea, no worries about uploading your dick pics by accident, now. Forgot the name of the guy who suggested it 😄
And there is a macOS version in TestFlight, too.
https://testflight.apple.com/join/...
Thanks to @OmerFlame for SwiftRant, btw! 😄1 -
Gotta love it when your untouched code worked just hours ago locally and now you have no idea why everything breaks, what has gone wrong and how to fix it ... but it's stable remotely on dev/test/live. Project runs on localhost + vpn on company servers. I can dynamically change the parts that shall be compiled locally and the rest will be loaded from the company servers.
Fucking great.6 -
Sometimes I hate interruptions like
- what a nice video on yt
- great idea from 9gag
I just want to focus for few minutes, please. -
Also the designer: lets change every basic style this site has. Refactor the fonts, the colors and all sections.
Sure, great idea to totally fuck up this site! -
Hello anyone with an idea how I can unsubscribe my email from many services at once? It seems Google doesn't have that feature that lets you see all your email subscriptions. I'm receiving a lot of junk and spam mails from some subscriptions I no longer want.
Unroll.me would have been great but it's not available in my country.16 -
I am now looking for a new job. My current work environment is everything wrong with IT and more. And to be honest I learned a lot from that. I am looking for a position where I can participate in defining and healthy working culture in IT. Something that makes me worry about people not tools. To be honest I have no idea what position should I apply for. If you have an idea or a recommendation of what I should be looking for, that would be of great help.2
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Twitter now allows to add up to 4 images and format count them in symbols count. I have no idea what to do with such a great power.
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I thought you had to be great in the computer fields before your friends started asking to make their idea games. Just happened to me this morning.
Friend: Hey let's make an MMORPG!
Me: Bro that would take years...
F: Hmmm... fine then just an RPG.
M: *in my head* cuz that really changes things, it's still an RPG...
M: Lemme hear your idea
F: *proceeds to describe Fallout /but better/
F: And I'm willing to learn game design an hour or two a day
Idk how to make him realize that it takes money, time and more than two people!! -
Is there such a site that makes documentation useable through 3rd party documentation?
I'm looking at you aws docs.
Stackoverflow had a great idea when they started making stackoverflow documentation, too bad they sunset the project :(1 -
yeah sure, having all 5 devs only ever working directly on the production branch and not being allowed to save anything post-release unless it's an urgent bugfix sounds like a great idea
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Moving to Zürich, Switzerland a good idea for 110k?
Job sounds great, just not sure about switzerland... Any remarks, tipps, trick?1 -
Chocolatey is a great idea, but for some reason it's started to fail installing everything and just puts files in "lib-bad".
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Learning Spring at the moment... The autowiring thing gives me a lot of WTF moments but I think that's why people love it. Can't find any good tutorial explaining what's under the hood either.
And I don't know why I just have this great idea of "let me make it harder" by switching to IntelliJ from Eclipse at the same time. As if it's not bad enough that I need to produce something useful within a short time...1 -
!rant
I want to make a web development and software development freelancing business. I had a great idea of a portfolio website for that business with a blog but the best way to make it it's using WordPress. I'm determined in making my own theme but I had a very dynamic and solid idea like adding some Easter egg videogames inside the webpage but with WordPress I can't do that. Another issue it's the time it would take to make this super website. Should I make the website as simple as possible and deploy it or wait until it's mostly done and deploy it?6 -
Had a great idea for a project today but I realized that if I do I'll never go back and finish my current project.
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So my company isn't that fully fledged in development and now I keep seeing deadlines being pushed forward even though we're already fully loaded with tasks...
I kept mentioning that risk management would be handy but only after the recent shifts in progress delays they are like "hey hear my great idea about risk management!" *facepalm*
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