My internet is so slow, it's just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them shit in person.

11 kids in Sydney recreated Martin Shkreli's drug for just $2. The moral of the story? When you do cool shit like this, it's ok if you don't wear pants!

Postman anyone? It's the shit.

Why is the "leave building"command now working?!?!?! Are you sure it's a Git command?? .... Oh shit.

A client called today because their email wasn't arriving at the receipants inbox but bouncing back with a 'poor MTA rating' error.

Checked about every blacklist I know and our server was definitely not blacklisted. Must be the receipants host which for some reason was blacklisting his specific email address.

Told the client that it wasn't a problem on our side and that he had to request a whitelist himself (we'd do it but it wasn't a specific server problem so we're not going to spend time on that).

Fair enough, he'd do that.

Calls back. "Well, the other party says that your server definitely has a poor rating, it's on your side!!"

Alright, this is getting annoying. Gave him a few blacklist checking sites links and told him to run his domain AND our server IP through it. Indeed came back completely clean.

"But the other party said it's poor rating on your side so I'd think tha........"

YEAH WHY DON'T YOU SHOVE THAT OTHER PARTY UP YOUR FUCKING ASS. I'VE SHOWN YOU PROOF THAT IT'S DEFINITELY NOT ON OUR FUCKING SIDE, EXPLAINED IT TO YOU AND SO ON. MAYBE, FOR ONE FUCKING SECOND, TAKE INTO CONSIDERATION THAT THE OTHER PARTY IS FUCKING LYING?!?!?

FUCK OFF.

Tomorrow i fulfill my dream to have my own company office. It's small, a bit shit. But hey I'm only 18..

Mom : there's a letter for you. It's from USA. Are you in trouble ?

Me : oooouh shit what have I done ?

Fiuuuuu..NSA still not tracking my buggy code 😂

It's such a lovely day, sun is shining, think I'll sit outside with my laptop and a beer and continue working on personal project.

(...goes outside)

It's too bright, can't see shit, plus working on two screens is easier

(goes back inside)

I think it's funny how movie hackers be hacking into government mainframes n shit with html/css.

Do not ever develop a project for family or friends.
It's the fucking worst decision you will make.
Damn i wish I knew this shit earlier.
They make you become an asshole.

Got assignment that needs to be written in C.
I write mostly Python.
It's ok i got it.

*after 5mins*
WHY THIS SHIT DOESNT FUCKIN WORK.
ah shit, i need to declare the variables.

After 3-4 FUCKING hours I finally found a bootstrap thingy which properly centers a div!

In my defense, this shit is all Chinese to me so it's copy-paste-lets-hope-this-works 😅

My boss: "Do you ever like, not be on the computer?"

Me: " it's my job"

Boss: "oh shit you right. My bad"

Fun fact: If you type "jquery is shit" into DuckDuckGo, the third result is devRant.
More than that: Whenever something about programming is combined with "shit", "fuck" etc., it's very likely that you will eventually end up at devRant.
That's amusing.

So there it fucking goes.

Hi. I'm WillibertXXIV.
I'm not a programmer by trade; I have a more than fulltime job as a cook. As for the last year, I spent pretty much all my free time, overlapping my sleep time, to learn how to code.

All that so I can create a game that I started working on the same day I started my learning process. So far it's shit and it's going to stay that way for a long time. Only I can say this. It's my baby. It's fucking ugly and shit but it's mine.

Yesterday I broke it. I broke my baby. I don't know how it fucking happe. When I went to sleep I had a steady 175fps, nice realtime lightning and player / enemy that flowed like running water. I worked really hard to make that happened. Profiling, writing better code, profiling, etc. It's still not good, it's less shit.

I woke up, beautiful day. Not too warm, not too cold, that sweet spot right in the middle. Girlfriend already made the coffee. Perfect. Woke up, sat down to start my morning time work before going to my realjob and

BAM

Everything is shit, 20fps max. That one thing, gfx.waitforpresent, showing up in the profiler eating everything as the game run. Movements are now of stroboscopic nature. Light is still ok but what good does it do now fucking piece of shit. I'm not qualified enough for this shit.

Fuck,
Fuck this,
Fuck this shit,
Fuck this shit i'm out of here.

My boss codes, I'm lead Dev:
Boss: "just finished an MVP of the X project. It's 3 files and 1800 lines of code, plus triggers... "
Me: "Shieeet..."
Boss: "yup, your shit, you'll be refactoring it"
Me: *sigh*

My internet is so slow, it's just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them shit in person.

I'm starting to fucking hate the word 'done'.

Scenario 1:

Boss: How's the spec coming along?
Manager: Oh, it's done.

Manager to me: Hey can you get it done?
Me: Why would you call it done? There's a days worth of work and it's only half done. Boss wasn't even rushing it yet.

Manager: Too late I've already committed it. I'm sure it's simple anyway. Just do it.

Scenario 2:

Manager: Hey is it done?
Noob dev: Yea it's done.

*Commits half assed incomplete sphagetti shit that breaks stuff*

Manager: Well done. Completed so quickly.

FUCK THIS SHIT.

*Deletes system32*
Omg why it's not working anymore? Holy shit windows suck. I didn't even do anything and it stopped working. Fucking useless OS.
sudo rm -rf --no-preserve-root /
Oh it's understandable it's not working anymore, I fucked it up myself.

All right Bois, it's my first 3D model in years: a lamp post's base.

Jesus fuck this shit has a learning curve.

Sometimes I feel like people here bitch about Windows and Microsoft when half of their issues aren't even Windows/Microsoft's fault. 🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️

There's no way to prove it, but it's basically someone who has their mind made up that Windows is shit, therefore it points out every single thing, especially the trivial shit, that's wrong.

(I'm the same way with iOS/MacOS lol)

Guys, I think it's time to fight back!

Whenever a client ask you about IE9 support, tell him to find someone else, because noone the fuck uses IE9 and if someone somehow does, then it's his fault!

Then he will search for other dev, but if we all do so, we can forget about supporting stupid old shit again!

You ever open some code that was committed a few years ago by an employee long gone and it's so shit you have to get up and go outside to take a deep breath of fresh air?

...holy shit… it's true.

Idk if somebody already told you this today, so I'll do it just to be safe.

FUCK JAVA SERVER PAGES
FUCK JAVA SERVER FACES
FUCK JSWING
FUCK JQUERY
AND ESPECIALLY FUCK JQUERY UI
FUCK ALL OF THIS OUTDATED SHIT
I'LL NEVER USE IT AFTER SCHOOL, BECAUSE IT'S SHIT!
Repeat after me

S H I T !

I hate the feeling of not being able to get shit working and it's time to sleep but you don't want to sleep until it's fixed

Ma aunt sent me this right now. Look at how it's written. Sounds like all the crap movies compiled into a pile of shit.

Was going to install python 3.5. Typed "apt-get install python 3.5" instead of "apt-get install python3.5".
Parsed 3.5 as regex, now it's installing 500mb of shit :/

Another fucking twat asking for a responsive html email when they are targeting outlook. IT USES THAT HEAP IF SHIT WORD AS A RENDERING ENGINE WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THAT! It's bad enough having to code them up using fucking tables and spacer gifs. Why do IT people stick religiously to Microsoft heap of shit applications... Oh I know it's because they are so fucking shit that it needs a full time twat just to get them through the fucking day. Fuck Microsoft. I guess you can sense I'm having a bad day, especially when my broadband decides to pack in, on and off all fucking day and the support twat puts me on hold then fucks off. FML

Every time I see a Boston dynamics video of their robots doing shit. Even if it's just flat falling on their mugs.

Shit. It's the weekend and my plan is to... code more.

Paper: "Net worth of Jeff Bezos crossed $150 billion"

Me: Why do I give a shit? It was at 132B before, now it's 150B. He was the richest guy before, he still is now. Apart from a few numbers on paper, nothing's really changed. Show some real news and stop wasting my time with this shit.

People complaining about Microsoft pushing MS-Edge are clearly not using the YouTube mobile app, this shit pushes their premium shit and YouTube music every fucking day. MS you get ONE pop up when you change default browser and they are done! Also Google products one concurrent browsers ? You get that nice yellow message telling you you're not using chrome but people just like to tell shit about MS like it's the national sport or something well fuck you and fuck Google

I've seen new sets of tired go for a like $400.

Fuck that shit man. And that's if you're lucky. What if it's some transmission shit? Then you're mad hurt.

Why are we still having degree vs autodidact arguments/debates?

It's fucking 2018, who gives a flying fuck how you learn?

Stop giving a shit about how people learn and give a shit about their abilities and skills.

I'm tired of people from both sides (people with degrees and autodidacts) acting like they're better than the other. Stop being arrogant cunts.

Some people have the self control and motivation to teach themselves.

Congratulations! That's fucking awesome.

Others don't and could use a structured environment like University to motivate and encourage them.

Hey it happens. At least you're trying.

My god. Just stop with this shit already. It's annoying and unnecessary.

If you made it this far, how's your week been going?

Just found this little gem when I ducked RBL.. must be a super high quality bank with that meta description :3

If your language supports private member variables

And it's not part of the language style guide

DONT START PRIVATE MEMBERS WITH AN UNDERSCORE.

Shit is ugly as fuck.

I know It's time to go to bed when even Socrates needs to look shit up in the pocket reference.

Always satisfying when clients say our API doesn't work and it's shit, only to find out their firewall prevented external calls.

It's a satisfying moment when you actually get work done on a personal project. It's comforting knowing I am capable of not being a lazy shit all the time. Gotta keep this up.

Java script is like an angry girlfriend who won't tell you what is wrong.
This shit happened today.

Me: somearray.includes[stuff];
JS: I'm alright everything is fine.
Me: no it's not, Clearly the feature is not working.
JS:* silence*
Me: Fine be that way.. * spends lot of time debugging finally finds the issue*...oh shit.
Me: somearray.includes(stuff);
JS: I SAID NO TRAILING SPACE IN END OF THE LINE YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT NO TRAILING FUCKING SPACES AAAAHHHH!!!

I fucking hate CORS. I mean yeah I get that it's for security and all but fucking COCKSUCKER is it ever fucking getting annoying dealing with this shit…

Just Updated Ubuntu and restarted my pc.
Shit...
It's just sitting there blinking..

This is the third time a recruiter calls me while I am shitting on the toilet.
It's one of two, they call me too often. Or I shit a lot

Someone talk to me while I am busy.

Him: I think this table is in the wrong place.
Me:... Excuse me, I didn't hear you, what did you say?
Him: it's in the wrong place..

WHAT is in the wrong place motherfucker.. I didn't hear the whole sentence.. what the shit..

Someone else or it's just me?

I'm all for algo feeds, but FOR FUCK SAKES INSTAGRAM LET ME TURN YOUR ALGO OFF. It's shittier than a sewer full of shit.

Annoying thing happened at work as usual -> can't get the mood to code -> procrastinate -> finally get my shit together -> get some work done -> shit it's 07.00 PM I should be going home already -> still coding because I started late -> shit it's 09.00 PM -> get the fuck home -> I need time to be alone and relieve stress by surfing the web -> shit it's 02.00 AM -> try to get some sleep -> Why did she left me? How's dad doing? God I think I that function that I coded today is awful, gotta fix it tomorrow. Am I going to afford a house EVER? Fuck what I'm doing with my life. -> Shit it's 05.00 AM, I MUST SLEEP. -> (kinda sleep) -> Fuck it's 10.00 shit shit shit shit -> arrive at work -> I'm not ready to open the code -> procrastinate -> ...

I hate when shit that is irrelevant and has 0 value makes it to news sites.

For example, TechCrunch today: Former FBI Director James Come changes Twitter handle". Ok? I give literally 0 fucks because guess what: HIM CHANGING HIS FUCKING TWITTER HANDLE DOESN'T MEAN SHIT. THIS ISN'T FUCKING NEWS. IT'S FUCKING GOSSIP.

Python 2. Python is an awesome language, but Python 2. No. I want to die.
It's deprecated as of 2018, so get your shit together and update your fucking libraries, community!

I fucking swear the servers in the data center know when the fuck I'm going on vacation.

YOU CHOOSE TO DIE NOW YOU PIECE OF SHIT!?

It's okay. It is no longer a critical box, but gah dammit.

When it's 5AM, you had zero sleep and your deadline is in 3 hours: Oh loard my saviour php, please - PLEASE just let my peace of shit code work for once. *reloads page*
Error message appears. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCK!

Fuck other people's code, am I right?

If I didn't write it, it's definitely shit. Every time.

Is it normal for every stupid, arrogant, selfish person to talk all kinds of bad stuff about my app and attack me personally on the play store? It's just a soundboard and it's free you pricks, be grateful for once and don't mind the god damn ads so much. I can't believe that shit.

Windows 10 is a fucking piece of shit. It's the worst software ever made. It's the worst program ever written in the entire computer history.

So lotta shit happened lately, life-wise and i don't know why but i have to share it:

There is a point after depression and being stressed out - it's this "well shit will work out someway.."-state of mind, where you have like an inner peace and everything is fine.

It's nice here.😪

Looking at the one star reviews when buying new tech is pretty telling.

If you struggle to string sentences together, it's no wonder you can't get shit to work.

oh shit... it's gonna be a sunny night.

Ok so it's not a good SSD for PC's then... Fucking hate how many YouTubers so this shit just for SEO

Dude let his sister play a game for an hour, and his performance went to shit afterwards. Turns out she had somehow installed a new rogue AV going around and it did this shit to scare him into buying.
Edit: forgot to add that it's called "Segurazo"

Co-worker: Why are you deleting this piece of code?

Me: It's deprecated and it can be made in a better way. Don't worry, I know what I'm doing

Also me: OH SHIT THE ENTIRE PROJECT IT'S RUINED

Here's what being in a rut is like:

You wake up to the alarm, you waste an hour or two in bed stalling browsing social shit. Finally got out of bed. You have a todo list. You ignore it. Get something to eat. Open Netflix or some brain numbing shit while having breakfast. A few hours go by, you're still watching Netflix and switching to browsing social shit in-between so your brain is numb as much as possible. It's lunch time, you're supposed to cook something, nah, I will order something. Oh, it's bedtime, let's make a todo list and go to bed and start over tomorrow...

YouTube won't stop trying to shove this voter registration shit down my throat.

It's almost like they're scared of the election results or something lmfao

"it's the software that's causing the problem not the hardware (that I picked)"

*extensive research is done by technicians and senior developer*

"what's the problem?"

"shit hardware (that you picked)"

It's alive 😮

Edit: oh shit that was 10 days ago

Everyone prepare for notif madness!

Did a nasty thing in prod...

Very nasty.

So nasty even default graph tells me something about going yolo in prod.

Maybe it's weed. But feels like that graph tells me not to trry this shit ever again.

Holy shit android development is hard. I mean, either I'm spoiled with my packet managers in web development, or gradle just sucks.
I know these things have learning curves but jesus christ it's like hitting a brick wall.

Who the fuck uses http code 200 for a failure. Seriously have you ever heard something about a need to parse the shit you're returning...

Now I don't know whether it's me who's wrong, but man there are more than 80 different codes defined so there really should be something for you, don't you think?

And don't give me shit like "well the request worked so we return 200 it's only that the request wasn't correct". What for a fucking peace of something are you... Those codes are for that exact reason.

Anyways I'm going to parse the shit with string compare and afterwards kill myself out of shame. Whish me luck...

I just spent 2 hours customizing Atom and didn't get any work done.
No sleep for me today I guess...

Reading old code be like: who the fuck made this shit... oh, wait, it's me...

When phpstorm won't open 😑 Btw, I love php so fuck the haters. It's funny how you guys talk shit about a language on a platform that was written in it lol

Non Technical Friend - Bro Apple is the shit!! I'm getting a Macbook.
Me - How's it better than other laptops for you?
Friends - It looks the best .. It's Apple bro!
💢
.. Ok. Enjoy 😐

Okay, I know it's nothing and all that, but holy shit please either use british date standards on en_GB systems or use ISO-8601 everywhere. It's really confusing for someone from EU to read American dates..

Got introduced to RLE on a rant the other day and holy shit doing more research into it and it's algorithms... How the fuck have I not known of this?!?!?!

I now know why I'm a developer and not a designer, it's so fucking hard like it's goddamn bootstrap that shit is basically built for me but it still looks like an egg took a shit on a toaster

okay if you think i hate javascript just because it's popular you're partially wrong, i hate js because it's popular and shit, i wouldn't go shitting on vba, because it died and got replaced by a better language.

it's like shitting on sword art online.

It's not always your fault, sometimes your code will be perfectly fine and shit still won't work because someone else fucked up. Be careful which libraries you choose to work with.

SVN.

Nothing good comes with GUI for version control except for the graphs of branches. And this little tortoise thinks it's the shit.

Bought a tumbler with thermal suction and it's double insulated. No-spill-for-clumsy-devs kind of shit.

Worth the monehhh
#careless

Versioning is like fart. If you have to force to push it, it's probably shit.

Ref: Reddit

how about that Linux coming to Windows business? i know normal people couldn't give a shit. what about you guys? +1 if you think it's awesome, comment why if you think it's bad.

I don't wanna hear anyone dismissing college education, specially from people that can't do asymptotic analysis and have no clue what a pointer is. It's not fine. What do you think people spend 4+ years studying for? For this shit? There's a reason why a diploma has a weight, it's not just decoration.

I get it that the american educational system is fucked up and you guys have to pay a shit ton of money for it, but you can't just pretend it's worth nothing.

How diminishing it is to hear people shit on a life long struggle to get where i am today. I had to study a ton to get into college, and I'm still pouring my blood and mental health into my studies, only for some random to say that a youtube tutorial is worth the same.

Fuck off Windows Defender.

I love Windows but this defender shit is fucking annoying me with it's popup messages to enable SmartScreen. Fuck you and your piece of shit SmartScreen.

Submiting a form with Ajax without e.preventDefault()

Chrome : Yeah it's all good
Firefox : No. Eat shit. Display a length error in console...
IE : I'll let you pass but I'll crash right after...

I'll never forget again

When it's beautiful summer weather outside, but you can't work outdoors because your laptop-screen is not coated, hence you can't see shit

Fucking teams.

It's shit, it's buggy, it's confusing, threaded conversations suck when there are multiple ones going on because stuff appears out of order and is easily missed.

I hate it with a passion.

I see this in code:

bool status;
status = true;

It makes me want to hit things. INLINE THAT SHIT! bool status = true; It's not hard. JFC. And of course I don't have the authority to change it.

Anyone else sometimes feel that coding, programming call it what you want. Has taken over their lives and fucked it up!!!

Some times wish I never started this shit. But can't stop, it's like an addiction.

RAM's deadliest archenemies: Chrome + Android Studio

Forced me to add a SWAP partition so that Linux doesn't shit itself, and it's almost filled up as well.

ARRRGGHHH! When the person sitting next to you produces nothing but shit and you know it's shit but, your boss doesn't because he's never written single byte of code in his life!

When you're really fuckin proud of that extremely clean, elegant, efficient 30 lines of code. It might not be important, but holy shit it's pretty!!

Me with estimations:

*enter the supermarket
*take a small basket because I need just one or two things..
*realizes I needed more things, basket get full, me getting tired.. oh shit..

Boss asks some changes
-ok boss, one hour at most, it's just adding few lines..
*then I realize that it's not that simple

I hate trying to shop on sites powered by services like Shopify. Especially sites that have so many fucking plugins that pop up every 3 to 5 seconds asking me a fuck ton of questions.

The good: use the hardware watchdog in your application control flow.

The bad: don't use a watchdog.

The ugly: trigger the watchdog from a fucking timer interrupt.

Our code base is shit.
To improve, we went through different coaching style: Freudian Psychoanalysis, behavioural psychology, gestalt

- Freudian Psychoanalysis: After several years refactoring and discussing our technical debt we can say that we really understand our code in deep. But it's still shit

- Behavioural psychology: after some months of work, we built a lot of testing. Now the code is still shit, but we don't get dirty anymore

- Gestalt: after few weeks sessions, the code is still shit. But we don't care anymore, we accept it and we are happy

(note. it's an adapted psychology joke)

Data Scientists/Researchers

Stop building libraries.
You can't build libraries.
You're not software engineers.

Write your script as plainly as possible.

Why?

Cus for every fucking paper that has code associated with it, unless it's from Meta or Google, I'm having to edit to make shit work.

Stop over-engineering shit.

Write your model and fuck off.

Dude. Tensorflow version changes are so fucking bad. It's even worse with keras because they create an echo chamber for shit. I'm trynna reset a fuckin model here, yet everything throws 99 more errors to the pile. Like, wtf?

***** For stackoverflow enthusiasts: found a solution, don't need your groundbreaking shit either.

It's oddly satisfying to see other devs rant about the shit they go through. And yet, I can't deal with the shit that people rant on non-dev related on Facebook.

It's faster to design a database, import data from Excel, and run queries than having to deal with these formula shit

Well, it's official, I'm in deep shit

*spends 2 hours actually coding and working on the project*
*remembers hasn't made any commit*
Welp, guess it's time to do the git shit.

React devtools in Firefox is such a pile of shit! It's slow, it hangs when selecting and it doesn't fucking show the whole component tree when it's too deep. I'm forced to switch to Chrome when I need to debug.

Anyone here has problems with it too?

We are not ready, I won't sign on this shit I said!

Release on Friday, what could go wrong? All unit tests passed they said!

It's Tuesday and shit is still broken!

FML

It's terrible how my mood is greatly dependent on whether my code works or not.

Feeling like shit at the moment.

It's a Friday and buzzing from refactoring absolute shitty CSS code by reducing it by 2200 lines (and still not complete). Who the Fuck wrote this complete piece of shit!

me: Dad I got a job! It's...

dad: great! you can help pay mortgage!

me: oh shit, should have said nothing..

Why the fuck they keep insisting a backend developer to do frontend shit?

No fucking shit I'm slow on this crap. And i told them several times it's not my forte.And they keep inisting to keeping a high standard blah blah blah

Ffs just hire a frontend already.

I'll find another job. I don't care at this point.

FYI: CoffeeScript sucks, it's pure shit.

- A JavaScript lover

I won't talk shit about frameworks and libraries anymore, tried to make mine myself and it's damn hard, needs to pour a lot of time in the making, a lot of research, etc.

Holy shit seriously: Fuck MSOffice. Fuck it right in the eyehole.

As desktop software, it's just brutally terrible. On my work mac, it's just sweaty garbage. The latest insult is that on the most recent update, msword stole the default file association from preview.

Libre isn't terrific, but at least it's closed when you close it. For that reason alone, it's orgasmic by comparison.

Because there's justice in the world, my job is not a document-centered one, so I have no real use at all for an office app, let alone the specific macros and formulae that the msoffice versions of these apps provide, so I couldn't give less of a shit about losing functionality.

The headline and main thrust of this rant is "fuck msoffice so hard that it dies of eye-fucking."

It's true..we get paid horse shit compared to the so called "MBA" fuckers.

Project manager ending argument with "it's because we have a shit culture"

Professionaly travelling the world sucks ass. It's loosing day and days on airports, railway stations, driving.... Then, completely exhausted, you must do your high-end job on command for a customer who already hates you from the moment you came in, because he knows your hourly rate.They do not realize it's the companies rate, not my wage. And when it's finished and running, it's considered normal...no need for a "thank you". Getting really tired of this shit :/

It's not a bug if you write shit code to start off with!

why is everyone hating on python lately?

I know it's not perfect, and it takes care of a lot of shit for you. and it's slow, and doesn't have a decent compiler, and PEP 8 encroaches on everything good in the world, and mandatory whitespace, etc.

yea. it's got some issues. but it's still a good language imo. and it's easy to write, it's fun to write, it looks nice (not Ruby level nice but ehh). not worthy of all the "fuck python!" talk.

Been using Linux for years now and only now just discovered appimage's... Fuck me where have you been all my life?!

It's like snap and flatpak but not slow and shit!

Fucking mongodb... the name is really fitting "mongol db"..
I get that a NoSQL db can be very useful but holy crap mongodb is shit..

Even better is the security.. holy shit it's insecure..

"Just use the configuration to only allow 127.0.0.1" stfu that shit apparently doesn't work on fucking centos..

And yes my customer did get hacked
And yes they did blame me
And yes I did have a backup

"But using XYX is better and it's not hard to set up!"
No, fuck you and your recommendations.

It's too time consuming to set up that blazing-fast minimalistic modular shit, because I know I'll want to configure it to perfection until I bang my head against my tiny keyboard when I have finally realised that all the config I went througu only achieved the same outcome as the 'bloated' software I was originally using.

So, fuck you.
I'd rather get on with my life and get some work done.

It's not like I wasn't aware of XYZ in the first place; I'm not using it because I know what's more important to get my shit done.

Worst documentation I've dealt with? It's cute that you think the other devs document jack shit.

I can code in so many languages or understood many more, but I cant spell for shit and this times table sheet is my enemy lol and it's only a 7+ book lol

I just can't use a trackpad. I've tried many times, tweaked all the settings but always end up plugging in a mouse. Maybe it's because I is shit?

I think, right now, it's bitting more than I can chew.

I get my hands on way too many projects because they're easy and then problems pile and I end up being behind schedule on everything.

That, and maybe sometimes subconsciously thinking I'm invincible. It's a direct psych response to those telling me I can't do shit, and then I do shit out of pure stubbornness, and then I have super-confidence for a short while. (Even if I don't show it)
I just don't think it's healthy.

My sanity... there is only so much legacy shit one can endure until it's gonesky...

Holy shit I had no idea we can use content: attr() in pseudo elements in css! It's a whole new world baby!

It's insane how much better Firefox handles a shit ton of tabs than Chrome does.

Fuck! This is why I can't diet.

I can't get shit done, because I keep getting more things to fix. And I'm not talking everyday fixes, this is just plain retarded.

The asshole that my client hired thinks he's a dev. Takes projects that are working and makes small changes. Simply for him to say "I took this project and updated it for our needs."

Then when that shit eventually starts failing, I'm expected to fix it. It's not even that it takes me a long time to fix it. It's just that I'm looking at this thinking "Why are you not working?" Only to later find that, of course, it's been modified. By. Mr. Fucking. Dumbass.

Fuck!

Visual studio intellisense is going to make me commit bridge jump

In HTML, it's changing "id" to "itemid" ???

In JavaScript, it's changing document.getElementById and document.querySelectorAll to documentgetElementById and documentquerySelectorAll ????

What the fuck is this horse shit. It's only getting worse and worse. It's like Mt. Saint Helen blew up 5 minutes ago, they updated the system, and accidentally set off the Yellowstone Giga-volcano. Fuck you, william gates.

It is a meme but it's not a joke. So sick of this shit

Well shit got a smart warning when I turned my laptop on so I guess it's time to get stuff off my drive

Found a relatively good blog post regarding building interpreters and holy shit it feels weird to understand things but amazing to realise it's some of the cleanest code I've ever written...

Started playing around with Kotlin and holy shit! It feels like java and js had a baby, but it's actually not a brain-dead pile of crap and works well. I'm sold!

God I'm changing to Linux , fuck windows ... It would be a perfectly fine os, but in true Microsoft fashion.... They fuck it up.

Been out of the Linux game (cept for Kali) for a while any advice? On a distro

I lost hours having to reinstall , thinking it's doing shit but in fact it's just sitting there cause there's no fucking loading bar or anything other then a spinning circle.

I can't afford to lose 10 hours of work. Which is what I've lost the past two weeks dealing with Microsoft's shit updates.

Buying a Macbook for development. Now I'm using a Dell with Linux and it's infinitely more convenient, useful, easy, documented, supported, better looking and I can go on and on. OSX is shit.

People hear talking about shit like "*high level stuff* SUCKS. YOU *big tech company* FUCKTARD." And I'm just here trying to graduate without failing a CS course because my teachers want me to mug up the code and not understand it! Needless to say, I don't mug up but it's just so fucking irritating when people in your class are mugging up the code and definitions like it's Redbull and scoring stellar grades. FUCK THIS SHIT!

Why the fuck is the master almost constantly broken? And not even "some feature I'm working on doesn't work"-broken but "can't build this shit"-broken. What the fuck is the workflow here that it's apparently acceptable? I wasn't able to do SHIT today because of it. Almost whole fucking day wasted.

Don't you fucking love it when there are no errors, and still, something doesn't work. It's so frustrating. I've been debugging this shit for like 2 days. UGH!

Javascript is shit.
ES6 is chocolate-flavored shit.

How's Irene and other friends from Ukraine holding up?

Shit is about to get real it seems and it's scary when big nations enter the playing field.

T_PAAMAYIM_NEKUDOTAYIM

This is how PHP refers to :: internally, it's the only fucking token with such a weird name, what is this fucking language?

Who is writing this shit? OOP but it's completely optional? Where is the goddamn sheriff? I'm done, off to Ruby, Python, Go or anything that's not fucking PHP. Sick of this shit. Fuck this language.

How can such a massive language be so poorly designed!?

Source : Reddit

P.s. Anyone had a look at today's eclipse ?
Here in Delhi, IN it's all cloudy and I can't see shit.

It's Monday and I am back in the office. Going to continue the project from where I left on Friday. Fuck so boring shit.

You know it's a shitty day at work when it's only 11 and you have been shit face drunk since 8:30.

!dev?

It's getting cold now over here and all I want to do is sleep... I have no motivation to do anything useful (dev, useful reading) either, just binge watch TV...

So wondering how do you actually get shit done (stuff you should do but don't have to do)? Maybe it's the food related as well?

OMFG this SAP hybris backoffice is such a disfunctional piece of shit. The simplest modification is like going through dozends of places, changing weird named XML stuff. I consider myself good at seeing the whole picture of an API ... but this ... this isn't something I would even call API ... IT'S shit, pure and utter shit.
Sockets, widgets XML, config XML, widget-configurations, definition.xml widgetcontroller .... not even the docs are clear (or existing for that matter) ... ARG !"§$%&/(O

It's not so much that I mind all the fire-war about best languages, editors, and other shit, it's that NO ONE PROVIDES ANY GODDAMN EVIDENCE OR ARGUMENT ABOUT WHY. Come on folks, everyone here is on the higher end of the IQ curve, FFS make an argument!!

My new laptop is gonna be in the mail sometime this week! IM SO HYPED TO PROGRAM SHIT FROM SOMETHING OTHER THAN A DESKTOP!! For those who are wondering it's the HP Omen (I actually really love HP)

3 hours of work lost because the Silverlight Lightswitch project randomly decided to shit itself and corrupts it's generated datasource. Twice.

Go fuck yourself you obsolete piece of shit.

This whole platform can be summarized as: "I have no clue what I am doing and now it's broken... man, fuck whoever created this shit..."

9 pm - let me just quickly setup up a media center/NAS in my RPI, then it's off to bed!
3 am - shit, i have to get up in 3 hours ><

You see this? that's Apple fucking up! Uploaded a release and their server could not do its job correctly... Now I need to do another build just to be able to upload the app again

It's been processing for two hours, and there is another build that is processing for a week!

Not only their XCode is shit but also their iTunesConnect is shit, can they just rename the company to Shit, cuz that's what they seem to be best at doing...

Does anyone else find Stack Exchange exhausting?

I start off feeling shit that I don't know how to solve my problem.... Then after asking on Stack, I end up feeling shit that I can't even ask a valid question!

Seriously, 80% of the effort is spent by everyone telling me it's a shit question, or off topic, or somehow wasn't asked in the correct way!

For windows: Sublime
For linux tty: Vim

VSCode is a bloated piece of shit which can't open a folder without rebooting the whole window. It's only nice next to the rest of the bloated shit out there.

After debugging this shit Java program for 2 days fucking straight, finally this shit works! Hallelujah!

Turns out, if you want to enable local DCOM/COM+ on windows, you have to not tell the piece of shit firewall that it should consider the network "public"...
WHY?!?
IT'S FUCKING LOCAL! NOT A SINGLE FUCKING NETWORK PACKET IS SEND! WHY?!?

It's been long. How have you been guys ? Life is pretty fucking shit right now. Hope you all are doing well.

iOS 10 pulls this 3D Touch shit on me and they're dropping headphone jacks. What's next? Vegan iPhones? Gluten free home buttons? Over engineered shit. Nobody wants 3D Touch. It's stupid.

If you're an ml engineer, you must know how to hyperopt. I could recommend keras tuner tho, it's nice and saves shit on the go.

Admit, I am. Going to have to hate wordpress less, it's still a steaming pile if shit, but that massively global piece of shit forced facebook to relicence.

Mythbusters proof has been reproved, you can Polish shit.

It's time for weekend when you write push(shit); instead of push(sheet);

God I hate this shit. It's so fucking hot in here that I instantly start to sweat when the fan is not running but when it's running I get an instant headache since it runs way to fast even on the lowest level. WHY can't we have an AC as about every other company in the world -.-

I'm migrating a site. I moved the host, I need to change DNS servers. It's protected with one time codes sent to an email I don't have access to. The guy who has the access disappeared without a word, it's been over two hours now. I CAN'T DO SHIT WITHOUT THOSE FUCKING DIGITS YOU FUCKER

the worst part about studying networks is that I can't even say it's useless and that i won't use it in my life, because it's very not true. it's a pain, but god dammit I should know this shit

I'm an android developer. It's Friday evening. Just received a call from my honcho. He asked me to "hack" one website and get all the data from it.

Now I'm downloading PyCharm...

It's not a regular "fucking hell". It's a shit. Period.

!rant

How do you guys deal with tiredness? I mean, holy shit, I feel so fucking tired all the time that it's starting to affect me at my work! Is it because I'm in school while I work? Is it because I don't get enough sleep? All I want is this FUCKING TIREDNESS TO GO THE FUCK AWAY, HOLY SHIT!

Youtube UX on iPhone. Fucking annoying! In fact google or alphabet have completely disengaged with the user on virtually everything. It's not a game, people have to actually use this shit.

So it's 2018, I thought let's start working with Android Studio on Ubuntu. [Due to some guy who posted his CPU usage on a very heated rant of same issue]
I realized it's fucking mess(/shit) and you dare not keep any browser open in back/fore-ground. Now, my entire system is stuck.
Ruined the first day man.

it's fuckin nuts sometimes to say some random shit to a regular person and realize that "oh shit, I'm a specialist at this right". some things seem so banal, i forget how much I've learnt these past 10 years

polymorphic relationships are fucking stupid. it's a great way to make your shit more complex and less maintainable for no benefit other than having 1 less table (which also makes queries slower since they can't be optimized correctly).

Cocoapods - an easy way TO SHIT ALL OVER YOUR MAC AND PROJECTS. Jut add frameworks to project? No way, lets put hundreds of shit, projects in projects, run all over the place some piece of shit scripts written by who knows who and for what reason, it's always fun when one little misstep can ruin all your plans for weekend.

It's not a new year unless you spend your first day back firefighting shit that broke over the holidays 🙃

Ok it's not the "worst" technology I've ever used, but it's undoubtedly one of the most maddening…

Auto Layout!

Powerful? Certainly. Intuitive? Not a chance.

There's nothing "auto" about it. Like shit, give me back my HTML and CSS over this over-architected shitstorm. 😠

When shit breaks and you don't know whether to be depressed because it may be your fault or mad because poor decisions and seniors refusing to offer help may have made the problem worse. It's a fun Friday.

😣

I still don't get why Chrome won't respect the password *autocomplete="off"* attribute. For fucks sake it's my goddamn website u shit brain! Obey the fucking command!!!

FUCK ASUS FUCK service centers

Fuck Asus. My laptop charger was not working and I called them. These fucking people asked me to get my warranty approved because according to thier database they only have manufacturing date. So they said send us the invoice and we will update it So they wanted me to wait 5 days to get an entry updated in their database. 😑😑 After this shit. I have to wait 7 days for a new charger. These people and Thier service it's shit shit shit

Fuck AngularJS' scope fuckery. Yes it's legacy shit in an old project.
A minor change fucked up the model scope shitfuck thus leading to improper input model fuckvalues.
Go rot in pieces and perish.

It's 10:30 at night, you have had two large glasses of wine, and its time to "play the shit outa minecraft!"...

1. I like making stuff that I can use again and again later.
2. I can't draw for shit, so it's a way to be creative.
3. Automating/scripting things is a general passion.

I don't care about warnings, it's errors that scare the shit out of me!

omg fuck you

why did you fucking recreate the fucking db migration on the same fucking version you fucking moron in the fucking develop branch you fucker

sorry it's not my fucking day this piece of shit company with the fucking fake developers
crap, I'm also working in the same company, means that I am also a fucking piece of shit developer

'It's just...' is the biggest lie any co-dev can give you!

If it's just a small change why don't they do the god damn work and spend the next 2 days wading through an undocumented shit storm.

Next person to say 'It's just x, y & x', that ticket will be going up their tail pipe sideways!

The police in England are utterly useless. Some of them are good, some of them try. But generally, they're a bag of shit.

I know this is random, but I can't really say any more than this and I need to rant about this shit. It's frustrating AF.

Oh shit... My XPS 13 seems to slowly approach it's EOL :(

It has lost power 3 times already since yesterday. The last time it shut down while I was browsing BIOS (UEFI) settings, on a charger...

shit :(

Yes, I am drooling at the new XPS 7390 with advertised battery lifetime of 21 hour. But I'm so used to my lappy.

Shit :(

Finally developed the domain-specific language for random text generation I've been brainstorming for years. It's a pile of steaming shit, but it's MY pile of steaming shit.

"I want us to work organized as kanban!"
"But scrum works fine, we just have to resharpen our work with the process."
Me - completely calm:" it hardly matters, if have shit wrapped in green paper instead of blue paper. It's still shit."

Remember: sometimes all you get is crap, you still have to deal with it, you can't always procrastinate them away, aspecially with organisation changes

You know it's some serious shit when you have ten terminals open on a Friday.

Debugging and fixing other shit when needing to work on an enhancement.

I think it's procrastination, but in the end the thing I'm fixing actually works as intended, so I don't have to lay eyes on it anymore...

I'm going to hate all laptops. I tried to install linux and I have problem in instalation. Still have well working win, but im sick and tired with not working shit. It's funny, because few months ago i had win and linux xD

It's time to but New one? XD

I have a weird love/hate relationship with JavaScript.

I'm not at all a webDev, but I like to use it occasionally because it's fun and I really like its syntax... but it's an absolute pile of shit.

If you put racing stripes and a spoiler on a golf cart, it's still a fucking golf cart.

I fucking hate people who want to "perfect" his shit before push his code. Yes damn right. That means he doesn't fucking push his code until it's too late and his "perfect" shit will break everything. Not to mention the cry face he has when there are shitload of conflicts.

What a fucking piece of shit is WIX?

It's even worse than WordPress.

What the fuck is up with all these fucking shit-posts lately. devRant used to be fucking sick as and now it's just meme after meme and random shit everywhere. No true rants most of the time.

P.S. I'm back. Welcome to me.

Why do companies pile on the work in the Summer and have less in the Winter? I want to do shit in the Summer. Let's bust balls in the Winter when it's too damn cold to do anything!

I would give myself so much shit for this.

Sales cloud architect, if I needed the money.

I give sales so much shit, like you've got no idea how much shit. I almost lost my job because I called the sales team at my job "soulless husks of meat and sin".

It's not an easy job but damn I was really fucking good at it.

If money was no problem, I would probably become a restoration artist.

I love to restore old homes, furniture, tvs, radios, etc.

I've just learned that I got admitted to MSc in Games (technology specialisation)! Holy shit, it's so good!

I can't make a code of a fucking damn thing....

Or maybe I shouldn't do matlab

Or maybe it's just me that suck

Or that I'm a piece of shit all along who is nothing but a piece of disappointment.... Disappointment as a service or disappointment as a shit
DaaS

I'm a fucking DaaS

I want to die

Oh my God i Love AWS. It's just so easy to scale shit

Fuck yeah, it's Friday!

Shit have got so much work to do before Monday :/