My dumb CEO just hired an even dumber CTO. The new CTO asked me the following questions...

1. What is GitHub?

2. What is JSON?

3. What’s an array?

4. What is Get and what is Post?

5. When an iPhone is offline, can it call an API on our server to tell us it’s offline?

6. I know you’ve spent 11 month the writing this backend in PHP but can you change it to Java now?
Me: Why?
Dumb CTO: Because it’s better.
Me: How?
Dumb CTO: because it is.

7. I know you’ve started to rewrite this codebase I Java but can you convert it to Node.JS now?
Me: Why?
Dumb CTO: Because Facebook uses it.

8. What is MySQL? Why aren’t you using a database instead?

9. What does NULL mean?

Somehow, I doubt that asshole is remotely qualified for the job.

Fakin shyt for brains.

Colleague: "What is a pl file?"

Me: "Oh thats a perl script"

Colleague: "So how do I edit it?"

Me: "Just break out emacs and modify that perl script lol"

Colleague: " *Triggered* did you just assume my text editor preference"

Me:" -_- what year is this ??"

This is the first time an IDE has apologized to me.
PS: Dev notes, crash reports etc are excluded. This is the IDE saying sorry I can't do it, no matter what.

Me typing
git rebase --help
GF: What!? Oh... nevermind it says rebase. I thought it said rebae.
Me: What?
GF: I'm the only bae you need in your life!
Me: ... This is going on devrant.

Ui stands for "you and I" !
That means that however stupid ui is if u and I get it then it is good!
What would you say about this one?

I like how nano not only shows you unnecessary whitespaces, it throws them in your face and and screams "YOU SEE THAT? WHAT IS THIS SHIT? DELETE THIS DISGRACE TO CLEAN INDENTED CODE!"

Me 6 months ago: "This is fucking genius. Beauutiful. Look at that code. See how I did this? Wow, I love it. Fuck I'm good"

Me Now: " What. the. ffuck? Wtf is this? What was I thinking? Goddamn. "

*reduces 3 methods and 37 lines to 2 methods and 8 lines*

Well at least it shows I'm still learning.

##Real fuckening STORY##
Angry client: this feature is not working like we discussed !

Me: it is.. *giving some explanation*

Client : no, this is not the right way

Me: But this is what we documented while gathering requirements, and YOU signed in the documentation..

Client : that long document? you don't expect me to read all of that talk just for this simple feature..

Me inside: *killing him 5 times in 5 different ways

No matter what day it is, this shit keeps happening

I had to explain to a customer's head of IT what a public IP is! He is (still) convinced all addresses in the world have to start with 192.168...

How do people like this get/keep their jobs?!

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
8 FUCKING GB GONE FOR ANDROID STUDIO! THAT IS HALF THE RAM I HAVE FOR THIS LAPTOP!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG IT KEEPS GETTING WORSE T_T

This is why frontend sucks. . I hate it.. 100s of framework still no idea what to do.

What retarted way of writing xml files is this.

Burn this before it lays eggs.

Do you ever talk to yourself out loud while thinking/programming/debugging? (Not a rubber duck in sight, because that makes it okay?)

I need to avoid making this a habit..

Me: What? Why is this even an error?

Someone: What?

Me: What?

I just hate it when an update for an app is available and there's no changelog. Seriously, tell us what this update is about!

In IT-Class:

Random: Ey watcha doin?
Me: Programming. What else?
Random: Oh, you're such a nerd...
Me: Programming is fun! I really like it.
Random: Please don't say this is your hobby...
Me: It is.
Random: Bruuh... *goes away*

Why the fuck are you here, if you're not interested in programming???
I don't understand such people.

"Hey can you add (feature) on this backend"

> Looks at backend

> api.py

> 4K+ Lines

uhhh... is it me or our entire production is held by this single Python backend....?

This thing is running our hypervisor platform... Our IaaS platform... and it's one file....

WHAT THE FUCK

Desperately searching stackoverflow for an answers. NOT FOUND. Posting it as a question. MARKED DUPLICATE! What kind of sorcery is this? :D

1/2
This app's change log is hilarious 😂
I want to smoke what they smoked while writing it.
Part 2 in next rant 😂

Boss: Why is it that you are still not done with this?
Me: Because I keep getting interrupted
Boss: By what?

Anyone know what this is?
Is it a bomb? (lol)

It was in front of one of the apartments i live in.

I have had this conversation well too often:

- (him/her) Do you mind helping me with this problem I have on my computer ?
- (me) Sure, what is it ?
- (him/her) *proceeds to explaining the problem*
- (me) Ok, I don't know about this particular thing, you should try googling it.
- (the pissed off version of him/her) Never mind, I'll find someone who's willing to help me.

Please stop taking that as me not caring about your problem.
Googling things is basically what I do all day as a developer.
You really should try it. That thing is actually pretty useful.

when you have to do this because the code looks correct but you're not sure what the heck is wrong because it doesn't make sense

Boss: Have you finished that feature?
Me: Almost there, i'm refactoring some classes...
Boss: What? Refactor? But thisnis a new feature, it does not need refactor! We don't have time for this!
Me: 😵🔫

This is what happen when you care about code quality.

I see this is true.
I am learning software development I understand what the code does but the most difficult part is to think and think and think what code to implement and how you're going to code it to make the program work.

Client: I want you to build me something, I'm not sure jet what is is exactly but it is supposed to be round and be able to fit on a car.

Me: you mean a wheel ?

Client: noooo, this is completely different and original idea like none has ever had.

These clowns make my blood boil.

fullStackClown: Hey I need some info on that specific color you want for this design

managerClowns: Yes it should look like this <<sends screenshot>>

fullStackClown: That is not a color, it is a screenshot

managerClowns: Yes it should look like this

fullStackClown: Do you know what hex code that is for that color? Can you ask the design team what color from our corporate identity they used?

managerClowns: Yes it should look like this

fullStackClown: Not helping... okay fine I used the eyedropper and I see the hex code is not used anywhere else in our app, so what color should I use?

managerClowns: Yes it should look like this

fullStackClown: ...

Mum: Is this the big data?

Father: Do you know anything about Bitcoin? Can you explain me what it is?

Business Analyst: What language is this on the test site?
Me: I believe that's Latin
BA: But why? No one can read what it says
Me: 😂

I forget things really easily. Don't believe me?

I started reading a rant and thought
"wow, so interesting, and this is what is happening to me!"

Then realised it was my rant I had just posted.

Proud of this. When you print my blog it is what every website should be: a clean document.

"What the fuck is this file even for? Let's see who made it"

You, 2 years ago | 1 author (You)

"Oh, okay"

!rant
I just started to use Fira Code as my main font because another awesome user recommended it and I must say, this shit is beautiful. This is what I love about this community. I learn more and get to know more cool shit because of what users say in here than the 5 years I spent at uni. You ninjas rock!

What a blow when I saw this sticker on the car in front of me:
"It this sticker is blue than you are driving too fast."
I was driving near the engineering faculty.

If it were possible to send messages back in time, this is what I’d tell myself

This is what I've been saying all my life but tech recruiters just don't get it....

12 - 1pm is lunch time. What the hell is it with this team and arranging meetings for this time, does nobody eat?

*Propose new time*

Justification: ... i'm fucking hungry

Encountered this is my computer science lab.

One of the most useless keys. Majority doesn't know what it does. And now there's two of it xD

HOW IS IT AUGUST 1 RIGHT NOW

2019 ENDS SOON BUT IT STARTED LIKE YESTERDAY

WHAT IS HAPPENI

WHY IS TIME GETTING FASTER THE OLDER YOU GET?

JUST FCK OFF THIS IS NOT NORMAL

I GOTTA HURRY TF UP AND DO SOME SHIT WITH MY LIFE BEFORE TIME RUNS OUT☠️☠️☠️💨💨🌬

This is my new logo, what do you think of it?

*Working on a personal project*
Random guy:- it sucks :|
Me :- idgaf about what you think ..So please f off -__-

*Paid project*
Client :- what's this? This is ridiculous..I don't like it at all
Me:- okay , I'll do something about it .

-__- money changes everything

diploma || certificate == "I am somehow warranted to write shit and get away with it"
## WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS FUCKING WORLD?!!!!

colleague: My laptop wont start, I don't know what happend. It worked this morning.
me: alright, Ill take a look at it.

I walk down to another room and proceed to open it up. Some kind of smell is rising from the poor laptop. I know that scent.
The motherboard is completely soaked into coffe, with milk.
I walk up the colleague:

me: do you prefer coffe with milk och without?
colleague: haha, it depends on what mood I am in. ( she is obviously stressed about it )
me: that poor laptop of yours, is dead. You soaked it in your coffe
colleague: haha what? No I have not. It worked last night when I used it ( notice how she changed "this morning" to "last night".

I just walk away, and I hope that the insurance does not cover this shit.

I refactored half of my code and it worked for the first attempt. What kind of sorcery is this?

I need to explain to a client how pc work. I use this image. Now every time my client explain what a pc is start talking with "it worked like a WC"... What I have done?

Was it it with clients and wanting to restrict the height of webpages?

Client: Can you make it all fit on the screen?

Me: What this particular screen?

Client: Well all screens, some people might not realise there is more content.

Me: What if the screen is tiny?

Client: make it smaller

Me: What if you add more content to it?

Client: Hmm, your the developer.

Me: Teeny tiny text coming right up.

This is exactly what we asked for; but it is absolutely not what we wanted ...

Been working on this project for a month now. Everything is going fine, meetings are short and to the point. But then...

Client: "I'm leaving the project, this is the new person taking over."

Me: "Hello new client."

New client: "Burn it."

Me: "Uhm, what?"

New client: "Throw what you have away. It doesn't meet our new specifications. We're starting over."

Me: "Ok..." 🙃🔫

!rant
I opened devRant and closed it immediately. This is what happened.

Is this related to the Android system or to the devRant app?

Believe it or not… This means shit is doing what it is supposed to…

EDIT: Sorry for length web client users .-.

Just read a forum thread where someone uses an excel spreadsheet as their database for a PHP website. What makes it worse is they have done this for the past 12 years.

Is this real or someone taking the piss?

- Hey I have to add new field, but this class is autogenerated, I do not know what tool generates it"
- Your fingers
- But this class has over 20k lines of codes and the header says it is autogenerated.
- It is a inside joke, it was generated by hand

What is this "Social Life" you speak of? Is it another JavaScript framework? 🤔

a friend asks...

Friend: Hey I have this website and I'm having a problem, can you help me?
Me: surre what is it?
Friend: So I have this WordPress plugin..
Me (interrupts): Sorry I can't help you, your site is doomed

This is what my roommate got handed to him at a lecture. Completely written in Comic Sans, everything is in fucking comic sans and it is not a joke! 🤣

Front end dev be like:
Me:
This is greatest design concept ever!
Why isn't it working? It was working yesterday.
This is the stupidest design concept ever.
It works! It works! The client is going to love this as much as I do. It's exactly what they asked for!

Client:
Actually, can you do something completely different?

Signed up for a coding contest that starts at 9am. I’m bad at timed code challenges, but I’ll never get better if I don’t push myself.

Woke up in a panic, thinking I’d overslept... 1.5 hours after falling asleep.

This is definitely not going to help matters. Thanks, brain.

Javascript! What a fucking horrible language it is.
I just wonder why this fucking language became this popular nowadays just performance is not a good reason to use this fucking language everywhere.

Things you hear from developers 5 minutes before demo to the whole Management Board.

- "... Does this button work... Nope... Oh well..."
- "What the hell is THAT!?"
- "Um... Is it supposed to look like this?"
- "Please tell me you didn't just merge this!?!"

It only took a whole minute for my stackoverflow question to be furiously downvoted... What is it with people on this site? Didn't they get enough hugs as kids?

Can anyone tell me what the hell happened here? GData is supposed to be good antivirus software, right? Been using it for years and suddenly it throws this error message on my mother's computer... WHY IS IT UPSIDE-DOWN???

Do you know what i hate most?

... commented old code!

What is the fucking purpose to comment old code IF YOU ARE USING A VERSION CONTROL SYSTEM?????

Commented old code is shit, because it fucks the readibility! I saw entire class full of this shit!

DELETE IT, YOU DON'T LOSE IT YOU MORON!!!!

It is incredible that we could see the Eclipse from Europe too :D

Wait, what do you mean this isn't the Eclipse everyone was talking about?!?

Got this email yesterday, it was about one of my projects. THIS is what I live for.

Asking a developer for an estimate is like asking a doctor how long it will take to perform an appendectomy.

Making that estimate a hard date is like telling the doctor, "We need this finished in 45min, no matter what... NO MATTER WHAT!"

"Hey that's nice, they added a README, I wonder what this weirdly named repo is and ..."

THIS IS AN EXAMPLE README YOU CAN EXPAND IT BY ADDING INFORMATION ON HOW TO...

"Fuck"

The title of this email made me click it (more so since I was offline for an entire day) but this is what I found..

I like how I transitioned from learning Java to Javascript because I thought they were related in sone way.

When my teacher first introduced Javascript, he told us this is NOT your grandfather's javascript. Next thing he told us was 'What is this?' My seatmate and I looked at each other perplexed. My teacher once again said 'What IS this?'. It turns out we needed to first learn about the context of 'this' -_-

That moment when you discover Java was a lie o_o

??????????????????? What??????

???? What???????

I couldnt solve a bug for hours.
Hours of googling.
Hours of mental trainwreck.
Hours of stress.
1:28 am.

I cant solve it.

HOLD ON I HAVE AN IDEA.

ChatGPT AI. HELP ME.

i copy and pasted the part of code thats bugging me. Keep in mind that this is a VERY large and robust system and this is just tiny percentage of code.

I told the AI to help me fix this shit bug.

ChatGPT literally explained me what the bug is as if im retarded and wrote code how to fix it.

LOOK AT THE SCREENSHOT U CANT EVEN MAKE THIS SHIT UP

HOW????

Here is the first step of my software that will keep track of "what bills am I currently paying?" throughout your day. This is analysis mode, you can specify your expenses and income (after tax) in a json file and it will build this report for you.

Here's an example with relatively realistic figures

The next step is to visualize it and have it render some charts and graphs. Yay!

This is what it feels like when updating Xamarin for Visual Studio...

Fuck.
Fuck this shit
Fuck. What the hell is this?
What the fuck????
Fuck this place.
How the hell is it even possible??
Fuck all. M leaving.
.
.
.
.
A snapshot of my workday nowadays.

Why is it so hard to read a 15 pages paper or article? I read hundreds of fiction pages or news in a day, but reading 100 lines of a scientific paper is a pain in the arse and I lose concentration by line 3.
Fak.

This is really creepy. Yesterday I was talking to my parents about buying a Thermosteel flask. Today I opened Amazon and this is what I see.. (attached pic)
I am pretty sure, I didn't looked for it even on Google.
It may be co-incidence but still..

Your data is formatted according to some ISO? Nice. You say it's easy to use and well documented? Great!

IT'S FUCKING FORMATTED WITH IRREGULAR SPACING??

What the fuck is this formatting?

Date <tab> Word <3 spaces> Some conjugated version <ONE space> Type <FIVE spaces> gender

WHAT
WHY
WHY ISNT IT XML
WHY ISNT IT JSON
WHY THE TABULATOR AND IRREGULAR SPACES
WHY DOES THE ORDER CHANGE PER LINE
WHY IS THIS IN A SINGLE 1MIL LINE FILE

help the university of oslo makes me dysphoric in their dictionaries i really dont want to parse this

Keyboard key 'Z' is assigned as a shortcut for the app. Accidentally pressed it twice after the chrome 'F8', this is what happened. 🤘

This is not fucking security, it's obscurity! What the fuck is a memorable word without any context! It drives me up the fucking wall. This doesnt help anyone it just promotes people to put silly shit like password or something so they won't forget but it just makes their account weaker.

Signed up for a driving class...
This is what i get in the mail shortly after.

Fucking fantastic guys! Saving passwords plaintext. Is it because of the government?

Is it common to look at code you wrote 1 to 2 years ago and think "what the hell was i thinking, this mess needs refactoring"?

Guy sees me on my laptop and says "is that Linux?". I say yes then he says he is into computer "stuff and can hack anything". Not having a clue what that means I replied with a "awesome".

I don't have really any friends that are into "computers", so I decided to play ball.

I asked, "Are you into coding?.. he says, "Yes". Then I ask, " What languages?" He says, " Just what ever, anything really, it depends on what I am doing."

At this point I understand what is going on but it is so awkward. He continues.. "Recently I used.. what's it called abd or adb, you know I like rooted my phone"...

And let's talk about something else....

Why do people feel the need to lie or whatever you might call what happened. It might be different I think if he wasn't about 40.

I feel like this is a pretty common story

When you switch a regular keyboard to an emoji one on an iPhone, the keyboard becomes a several pixels shorter. It’s barely noticeable but when you notice it, you can’t unsee it.

“This is it. This is what matters. How a product make someone feel”
– Apple

Sure, this is surely PayPal, what else could it be?!

So...the windows console is getting emoji support. I can't convey how happy it makes me that this is what they've been working on. Very happy. Because of little smiling pictures of yellow people in a command line.

I submitted a security report some days ago.

It is well written, it explains what is happening and what is the impact providing an example. I give some advice about how to handle this situation, it's about concurrency issues and it's pretty tricky to debug.

Answer from the reviewer:
"Please, can you tell me what are the implications?"

...
...

FUCK.
IT'S LITERALLY FUCKING WRITTEN,
CAN U EVEN READ IT?
THERE ARE PICTURES DESCRIBING THE ISSUE, I EVEN ATTACHED A FILE YOU CAN USE TO DEBUG.

...

This is the last time I report vulnerabilities.

Created 'GET STARTED' section in our application in English. It will guide new user to Highlight some App features.

End User started Posting screenshot of it in our feedbacks service : What this is?

Implemented 'GET STARTED' in local languages.

End user started posting screenshot of Language Drop Down, what this is?

Implemented 'GET STARTED' on Location based Language.

End User : I am here in Banglore seeing it in Different Language, my other Partners in Hyderabad are seeing it in different language. What this is?

Removed 'GET STARTED'.

End User : It was a nice feature. Why you removed it? What this is?

May be i over reacted but i am not bringing it back.

Told a teacher I finished a week worth of exercises, and asked for the next one
"This code is not yours. It's too clean, redo everything"

... what, is it wk64 already ?

When you get a call into the helpdesk:

" It doesn't work!! "

What doesn't fucking work???!!!!??? And who the hell is this anyway?

It is a written test, paper form, 100 level.

What is this icon mean in Visual Studio?

For a .net developer is it normal not to know what an abstract class is? I interviewed someone today that didn't know, and a colleague told me it wasn't that unusual.

To me this is the same level as knowing what an interface is

This is what my iPhone seems to suggest in most locations. I don't have a problem. It must be a bug.

Lets just refactor this...
Add this.. Should be quick.
Oh **** what day is it?

this is what happens when it gets intense
and it wasn't me

Guess what this App is written in (Lib/Framework/Language). You won't possibly believe it. (As I also didn't.)

Desktop: Gnome Shell with Pop-Dark-Compact.

What kind of cancerous shit is this? Who the fuck writes special template file for CLOSING divs? Why is this crappy shitty system so popular? It is a bunch of quirky and tangled code written randomly all over the folder.. Wtf seriously, is this "modern coding" or am I missing something?

Is it so hard to comment your code?

I work on collab projects here and there and both the comments and documentation are both awful, nearly always, there are some exceptions.

This is a plea to all those who teach anyone to program. "This performs a loop" is not a helpful comment, nor is "This sets variable x to 1" where the line below is "let x = 1".

The last piece of code brings me on to my next point meaningful variable names. If x is a variable that stores the age of a machine call it ageOfMachine or age_of_machine. Not aom, not x but what it actually is, modern IDEs and text editors will fill this out for you.

Finally documentation, a good friend of mine sent me this quote a while back, I can't find the image but "Documentation is like sex, when it's good, it's great. But when it's bad it's better than nothing." Your documentation should be good, a good pattern to follow is the Node.js documentation, it tells the function, what it does and what parameters it takes.

Anyway rant over; and I'm sure that this applies to people outside of this community only.

Me showing boss a draft document

Me: Ok so this is a placeholder list of statuses, I have to call the client to find out what statuses should go here.

Boss: Hold on lemme read it. *Reads*. But this list of statuses is incomplete, you should call the client to find out what statuses we should add.

Me: ಠ_ಠ

Hi there! I am new to this community. Can someone tell how it works and what is the purpose of this community?

What can you do with people using so many times git force push ...

* explain gently this is not necessary
* punch him/her everytime you see it
* other stuff that is not in the above list

What is this “successful project” of which people speak? It is an elusive creature which I have not hitherto observed.

You know what DARK MODE is offensive. From now on it should be called Night mode.

Twitter, please shitstorm the hell out of this plzkthnx

Hey! Heard you like scams.
Seriously, what even is this? I heard about this, but didn't think it would happen to me.
Also based on what they want to be doing with another person's computer can also double as a botnet too.

American Express is proud to be the official card for Universal Orlando. It also uses Windows XP. WHAT IS THIS? WHAT ALTERNATE DIMENSION AM I LIVING IN? Meh, still better than Windows 10.

Just discovered Insomnia Designer, I freaking love it and it's git integration. This is exactly what we developers needed for years 🥳

This is the most terrifying & horribly beautiful code ever.

:(){ :|:& };:

*please don't try running it if you don't know what you are doing.

Sorry if this has been addressed already, but what happened to the devRant podcast? Is it dead?

I don't know how to feel about it. What story it tells? Python is so easy that even vandals use it or maybe someone bleed on the wall how much she/he hates python. Or maybe it is scream of inner Vandal closed in cubicle who works with AI and blockchain for life's. What is the story behind this?

OK - Time to settle this for me. What is up with PHP? Everyone seems to detest it, however when I talk about NodeJs or Python, people say that they are inefficient. So is PHP an efficient mess?

This is from “The boys”, any idea what language this suppose to be 🤣 (or maybe it exists and I’m a freaking ignorant) 🧐

Google, I can understand why you would want to translate the change logs to my language, but THIS IS NOT MY LANGUAGE! I am very curious what language it is though.

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK. What is this dude talking about?! What am I doing with my life?!?!
Test what? What do I have to do? I didn't study this. I don't know what this API thing is. My life sucks. My job sucks. I suck. I'm stupid, because apparently knowing who or what this API is is essential for being a normal part of society.
I don't even.. oh someone pls kill me.
(No I don't want a detailed explanation what I have to do - I know this is not google and i wont understand it anyways and my husband will torture me with it in the afternoon. Just some sympathy for a finance person who has to deal with this would be nice)

Here I am just tryna browse a site and this stupid attempt to trick me into falling for a scam pops up. There is no way to stop the pop up because I can’t tap anything fast enough. Not even restarting the browser because it remembers this as the last URL it had accessed. Looks like I have to uninstall and reinstall chrome. Honestly, if you’re a scammer, what the hell is the point of doing this? What idiot is going to call the number? All it does is annoy you to the point of suspicion. Or maybe there are people stupid enough!?

going over some old code in the project...
thinking what garbage is this?
oh oh it was junior me :(

This post is stole from 9gag. I didn't watch infinity war till now. I don't know what that mean with Thanos but I liked it. So i wanna share it on devrant :/

This will kills your RAM.

"customers don't know what they want until we've shown them"

Is it just me that feels this a lot? I build a lot of tools for my own use at work, and then suddenly everyone wants it after seeing what they can do...

So this is what 'It care, engineers' of gov. health insurance replies when they're being notified about deprecated function i.e. window.showModal() is in production

Me: here is my idea with the code. Does it follow what you had in mind?
Dev lead : this is good...really good but if you could take everything you have here and make it a reusable module that would be great!
Me: so it is or isn't what you had in mind?
Dev lead :: it is but I need you to change it all.
Me....FML

What is it with this sudden surge in shitty memes? Is it normal around this time?

Might just filter out the random category completely if this holds on. Ironic.

Me: Hey what's the default password for this?
Classmate: password?
Me: yeah the password. What is it by default?
Classmate: no that's it. Just "password"
Me: :/

Bower, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF CRAP PACKAGE MANAGER!

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?

This asshole software is fucking with me and steals my time!

bower mapsjs-core#* cached e-tag:64e4e0850

bower mapsjs-core#* resolved e-tag:41af792c9

bower mapsjs-core#* install e-tag:41af792c9

What would you think is the installed version? WRONG! It's the fucking old cached version.

What the fuck is happening? Probably it's thinking "oh, this is the cached version, I'm looking if there is a new version for it. Yep, new version. I'll download it. But I have a cached version in the user home-directory, I better tell the that I installed the new version but take the old one."

Crap software.

What is this RGB trend in PC's. I hate it. Why can't it be just a normal black pc. Is there any use to it?
My SSD thermal-throttled due to rgb lights.

Been wondering lately. Do Python devs use type hinting? Shall i start implementing it?

I find it this way, a bit more clear about what the method is doing

*tentatively watching movie*
Some family standing in front of a house.
Kid asks: dad, what is this?
Dad: homepage
Me: ??

It took me way to long to realize that the kids name is Paige and the place is their new house. I hate it when that happens.

PM: This is broken.
Me: What? It works locally. That's weird...
PM: ...............
Me: (5 mins later) ok try again.
PM: still broken.
Me: Bangs head on desk. Why is this working locally?!?!!?
Me: (3 hours later) I'm missing a semi colon, and it wouldn't minify. Awesome.

"I hate this in javascript, because I never know what it is referring to."

Read this joke here some months ago. Today i learned why it's so funny

!school rant!

I have offically lost my entire faith, doesn't matter in what, point is that all of it.

We are literally learning about control panel and stuff... Basically the whole class is laughing, this teacher is bad shit crazy.

Thank you microsoft. You clearly got that right. If someone knows how to make passwords secure, it's you.

... Is this what you wanted to hear? Because it looks like you have no idea what you're doing.

So my dad calls me because my uncle is freaking out about how a client messaged him and he doesn't know how to check if he can do what them asked him to. I tour them around the website he's using (as he understands little to none of it, and my dad doesn't use the site regularly so he's not versed into it as well) as to where they're supposed to look and they go check this one tab. In it, there's info of what is sold out in what day. And for each day it says "day x - y sold out" and he asks me what day it is that y things are sold out, and that it is confusing, and I'm like "are you serious it's right there". Goddamn it this guy sometimes

One thing that really bothers me is that people use use megabyte to mean mebibyte. What makes it even worse is that Windows does it too. It says it shows gigabyte but actually shows gibibyte.

Now imagined my frustration when I saw this D:

This kind of stuff is what causes developer's to loss their mind. If you have to write a comment saying do not use a function, REMOVE IT!

I stumbled upon this job requirements, and I started to wonder.
What do most employers derive in looking for an IT team in one human being??
This is so graphic jeeeez.

So far in my (albeit short) career, I struggle to find people who know what polymorphism is, and how to use it. SOLID is a big unknown too.

It's always
if(this instanceof A) {}
else if(this instanceof B) {}

When QA keeps on filing bug but you go and check and it's a feature.
No. Seriously IT IS a feature.
Like c'mon! I told you it is a feature. Go and check sys req!
What is wrong with this world? >.<

This is what its called a long tail rant. It only took 23 days 🎉

Is this what I think it is?

In C# using "this."

WHY? It doesn't help with readability. It just clutters up the code and adds nothing.

It should never be a required prefix.

What makes it worse is, Visual Studio greys it out because its not required!

Then there is stylecop. This got enabled on our project which generated 3000 build errors because of missing "this."

This is so nice..💙😄

<Heading> 
Synopsis of Gita (religious book of Hindus)

<Stanza 1> 
Code is an illusion
Today you are coding
Tomorrow someone else would do it
Thereafter someone else

<Stanza 2>
What did you learn
That is helping you in this Project
What are you learning
That will help you in your next Project

<Stanza 3>
Bug is the truth of life
It is today, and will remain forever
You think you have debugged the Bug
You are wrong

<Stanza 4>
It is continuous
In various new forms
It pops up
Recognise it Parth (Son of Hindu God)

<Stanza 5>
That's why go on making Codes
Don't think about the Bug
They will come to you
On their own

What the f*** is this gradle in Android Studio??
M getting tired with this error. Whenever m starting studio it stuck on waiting for build to finish project.. I already done with checking offline work still it's not working.. What the f*** should I do with this error??

What is this? A flow chart for learning how algorithms work?
Nope! I call it: dynamic timetable 😎

Head of IT: kindly check what the issue with the following transaction

Me: Is this on production or on staging?

Head of IT: YES

Me: 🖕🏾 🖕🏾

THE FUCK MICROSOFT?! HOW COULD YOU FUCK UP ALT+BACKSPACE IN WORD 2016 WHAT IS THIS SHIT SUPPOSED TO DO IT MAKES NO SENSE, YOU CANNOT EVEN UNDO IT WHAT FAGGOT TESTED YOUR UI WHILE BEEING HIGH ON REDMOND DIRT. AND WHICH KIND OF MASTURBATING MONKEY IMPLEMENTED THIS SHIT.

The object-oriented model makes it easy to build up programs by accretion. What this often means, in practice, is that it provides a structured way to write spaghetti code.
~Paul Graham

ML Dude: “Hey see what I did with this python code. It is so clean and dope”
Business Boss: “Well Done.”
ML Dude: “It is a nice approach don’t you think.”
Business Boss: “How does this put a money in my business account?”
ML Dude: “Ehmmmm”

What is it with this bullshit culture about installing something syncs it with all machines
First chrome/chromium, You can't install a plugin or extension on 1 machine unless you're logged out. what is this bullshit

Next windows 10, I fucking installed a Japanese language pack on 1 machine, by the end of the day all my fucking machines and even my windows tablet got it installed and applied in a fucking bugged way that made it that my UI is English and my fucking metro apps are Japanese.

This is starting to get annoying as fuck

When you're an idiot who doesn't know what you're talking about since you've always used Google, and people give you shit for it anyways instead of just being cool about it.
😧🔫

Come on guys. This is ridiculous. My school uses Google services, so I'm pretty much forced into it. I've never really ventured outside of Google because it works just fine. I clearly don't know what I'm talking about. That much is obvious. How about trying to be a good person and help me out instead of talking down to me and --'ing my rants and comments.

This is why humanity is doomed to fail. Half the population is comprised of complete fucking idiots, and the other half is mostly assholes.

After working with a bunch of people it occurred to me that almost anyone can work and learn for most IT positions. This is something that most people will realize, especially if they work with newbies that learn on the go. There are exceptions of course, but most companies are just making crud apps with their business logic.

What I wonder then is, why is it that the way hiring is done seems to be completely against this idea? Rather than whining about recruiters and bad interviews, I am curious about why this is so common. What is it that a lot of companies think or see that make their hiring process so bad or convoluted?

Android is fucking fucked up.

Why the fuck it takes so much of time to build. And trust me,

React + Android is the worst combination. Can't even understand what the fuck it is trying to say?

And sometimes, no body knows what is wrong with something. Seriously look at the picture, that's the solution sent by the Android lead.

Did you realize the repeatedly at the end. 🦆 What try 🦆 dude.

Fuck. I'm ain't gonna work on this after this project.

I drop a pile from top of my head. Don’t bother to read.

About release:
When is release ? ( discussed 2 minutes ago )
Who will release ? ( there is always same person doing it )
What was added ?
What information add to clients about release ? ( it was always the same )

About bugs and features:
There is this bug.... ( without specifying)
It doesn’t work. ( there are 3 environments )
Is this ok ? ( clicking randomly )
Is this bug fixed ? ( without specifying )
Where is this feature ? ( while looking at webpage with feature )
How to use this ? ( not specifying what )
Where ? ( while clicking randomly )
When ? ( while scrolling calendar )
Why ? ( still clicking )
Where to click ? ( what I am doing here ? )

About meetings:
When is meeting ?
Where is meeting ?
Why we’re meeting?
Who will be there ? ( information in calendar )

I heard all of them at least once per month. Now I’m recovering at home and my friends are asking why I’m tired.

Monday is already going. I got the news a coworker is fired for selling company data.

What a shitshow this company is and how does it still exists

If the code is running, then it must be doing what I want. Right guys? Is it normal to be this paranoid even after lots of runs of the code without crashing?

i hate this fucking life so much why do i have to fucking exist WHAT IS THE FUCIJG POINT OF DOING SOMETHING YOU HATE WITH PASSION DOIMG AND NOT DOING WHAT U WANT TO BE DOING I DO NOT UNDERSTA D THIS LIFE

THIS existence/life is the Biggest BITCH i have ever fucking met FUCK YOU

CANNOT BE SUCCESSFUL DOING SOMETHING YOU HATE.

there was a philosopher who said "this life is pain and the only purpose of living is to reduce this pain as much as possible in order to be more happy" WHAT THE FCUK THAT IS MORE DEPRESSING THAN HAVING A FKIG CANCER

WHY DONT I JUST GET SOME INCURABLE DISEASE INSTEAD OF LIVING? OR GET HIT BY A CAR?

WhAT

I AM SO FUCKING NOT IN THE MOOD FOR ANYTHING

WHAT

as i was writing this rant by coming back from ffffffftffffffffffFFFfFFFfFFFFCKING college i went into a bus and there was a woman in front of me with an english text on the back of her shirt saying "she believed she could so she did. she designed a life she loved." WHAT

YO WHAT

THIS WAS PUT IN FRONT OF MY FACE AT RANDOM SPONTANEOUSLY

DID GOD JUST GIVE ME A FKIG SIGN OR SOMETHING?? "MY LIFE SUCKS RIGHT NOW BUT I CAN TURN IT INTO THE LIFE I LOVE" IS THAT WHAT A HIGHER SPIRITUAL BEING IS TRYING TO TELL ME RIGHT NOW???

WHAT IS THIS

HOW DO I FEEL RIGJT NOW

I DONT GET IT

MHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hh

Can somebody please tell me What is wrong with Microsoft and their broken piece of shit software?! (sorry to any Microsoft devs, if you read this). How the hell is it that their fucking installer and system repair features is this fucking useless? "Sorry, can't install on disk 0,cause the disk is in gpt format" NO SHIT, you were the fucking asshole who formatted it from the begining. Douchebag.

That is a barier which i saw seveal time falling to the ground...

And now there is this little ASSIST under it....

I am sure you are wondering what is that COMPANY that MADE the barrier and you cannot read it because it in bulgarian. Yes you guest it its "ASSIST". That means the COMPANY have THE BEST NAME.

Hope you get it.

i don’t know what docker is and at this point im too afraid to ask.

i read an explainer on it every few months. i’ve used it a couple times. still don’t know what it does.

“it’s a container!” okay.. so is my tupperware. it has beans in it. what’s your point.

I'm testing that functions in a service I made are accessible to activities that bind to it and this is what I call to ensure that

Someone : this is not critical, if you have more important task or deadlines, prioritize it first.

Me : doing my more important task/deadlines

Someone, chatting me every hour : Is it ready? I need to submit it ASAP!!!!

What a pain in the ass!!!!

Love writing comments, hate writing documentation.

Ugh, I know it is needed but just don't care about it as much as the code/comments which is a more direct 'here is what this does' approach. Writing idiot proof documentation sucks. Any little change? Have to remember to update the docs. Yeah, not happy.

I have two managers outside of the bathroom having an impromptu meeting while I'm blowing it up.

...this is what causes psychological complexes.

If you just stay calm and focus on building, you'll eventually come across things you've always wanted to learn, but didn't really see the purpose of it, this applied to everything in life.

For example, today was the first time I needed to use generics in my app, this is something I've always wanted to learn but didn't truly understand it. I've read docs and watched videos online, but still didn't see the benefit of learning generics.

However, once I needed it, I realized why it is relevant, and thus created stronger memory muscles.

Let's break this down:
- You learn more if the thing you need has a purpose.

- Information is simply data, once you apply it, information turns to knowledge.

And this my fellow dev friends is what you get paid for, not information, but knowledge.

And what is knowledge? - experience.

This place sucks. What happened? (Fuck you rutee, it is probably your fault, bald cunt).

I've been pondering for days what my first post is going to be. I guess this is what it will be.

Aye, I almost fight with everybody at work(they always think it is funny). I'm not good at listening to others when it comes to dev convo (like related to coding or some logic stuff).

So it is like someone is explaining to me that this should be like this and in between, I ask 100questions like "why like this? why not like this?","but what if I just skip it?" etc

and they always go like, "Someone is going to kill you so badly".

That's it.

Is it normal to be frustrated when you can't solve the bug for a day and all you can do is update on what you've tried solutions?
3 months in this company

Just received this really weird email. Probably spam, but why even bother when there is no link or attachment? Maybe it is encrypted... 🤔 What do you think? Anyways, the server has SSH enabled anyone care to bruteforce? :^)

"Hey, don't promote yourself - where I'm trying to promote myself... ok? Have some respect."

OMFG...

What the fuck is wrong with you fucking morons. This is the INTERNET.

IT IS FOR SHARING THINGS.

Just because you feel special / doesn't mean - anything.

This isn't YOUR soapbox. And even if it was... look at your feet you dumb fuck. You are the one standing on it.

unreal engine is soooo much fun! You set a reference pose for vr motion controllers and expect them to have positions relative to it, and also expect them to be right in front of you. Well, no, they go completly wonkers and get beautiful positon values of 23874 2387236 2032938 which is way out of the world. IN WHAT FKING UNIVERSE DOES THIS MAKE ANY SENCE?!
Just because I parented them to a a scene object way within my character?! WHAT THE FK I followed the nice tutorials. What is this BS and why is it so fked up!!!

This is not even funny anymore. This Windows get dumber with every release? Nothing about what it does.. or how is the progress..

I was going to post a rant about something, but was in the middle of something so thought I'll post it later.

Now I can't remember what it was.
Also, this is not the first time this has happened :/

Sometimes I hate JS. It makes people think that this kind of crap is a good idea...

What the actual fuck. :/

By the way, is there a way to format code posts on devRant that I'm missing?

What is the use of this keyword in js?

Explain it with a real world example

Can you make me this page please.
Me: its done its 100% like the psd you send me
She: yes but this component is bigger then this one
Me: its the same here the css proof
She: can you change it ?
Me: ( this will change the hole component and douin the same shit ) yes i will do it for you.

She: again this is not the same size

Me: ( what the fuck i said to shut is mouths ) ............. Fml

You know pipeless, what this site is built on, actually looks like a pretty cool platform to work with.

Anyone used it? What was your experience?

(every time I end a post on questions like these, it always ends up *crickets*).

You can't have a boss like this: I was assigned to a job that has been delayed for 5 months; It has to be finished by Tuesday. the development team is done with what is necessary, but I don't like this situation

Haven‘t really understood this. If WhatsApp is End to end, why is it so avoided by people who are privacy conscious. Is it because of the contacts? Or what data do they collect?

Do you need a degree to become a software engineer ?

Now this is a question I’ve seen many people ask. I personally have no degree and I’ve been doing programming for the past 10 years (since I was 18 ). Whatever I learned, I learned from reading and watching tutorials.
So far It wasn’t a problem for me.

What do u guys think and what is your experience is this matter ?

aagh fuck college subjects. over my last 4 years and 7 sems in college, i must have said this many times : fuck college subjects. But Later i realize that if not anything, they are useful in government/private exams and interviews.

But Human computer Interaction? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS SUBJECT???
This has a human in it, a comp in it, and interaction in it: sounds like a cool subject to gain some robotics/ai designing info. But its syllabus, and the info available on the net , is worse than that weird alienoid hentai porn you watched one night( I know you did).

Like, here is a para from the research paper am reading, try to figure out even if its english is correct or not:
============================
Looking back over the history of HCI publications, we can see how our community has broadened intellectually from its original roots in engineering research and, later, cognitive science. The official title of
the central conference in HCI is “Conference on Human Factors in Computing Systems” even though we usually call it “CHI”. Human factors for interaction originated in the desire to evaluate whether pilots
could make error-free use of the increasingly complex control systems of their planes under normal conditions and under conditions of stress. It was, in origin, a-theoretic and entirely pragmatic. The conference and field still reflects these roots not only in its name but also in the occasional use of simple performance metrics.

However, as Grudin (2005) documents, CHI is more dominated by a second wave brought by the cognitive revolution. HCI adopted its own amalgam of cognitive science ideas centrally captured in Card, Moran & Newell (1983), oriented around the idea that human information processing is deeply analogous to computational signal processing, and that the primary computer-human interaction task is enabling communication between the machine and the person. This cognitive-revolution-influenced approach to humans and technology is what we usually think of when we refer to the HCI field, and particularly that represented at the CHI conference. As we will argue below, this central idea has deeply informed the ways our field conceives of design and evaluation.

The value of the space opened up by these two paradigms is undeniable. Yet one consequence of the dominance of these two paradigms is the difficulty of addressing the phenomena that these paradigms mark as marginal.

=============================

Me picking a knife: does research about types of steel, what screws hold it together, what metal detectors it can fool
Me picking a crush: THIS ONE IS PRETTY!

Guy: Hey you know computers right
Me: sure

This guy takes his computer apart during class and wants me to see what it wrong with it. I'm like dude what the heck the Professor is teaching! Freaking crazy.

Hello, everybody! Recently, I've decided to switch from Android development to web-development, mainly JavaScript. Ok, it is clear what to do and what to learn in frontend part. But what about backend? I have a some kind of a dream to learn Go. It is clear language it is a great pleasure to write on it, and I've started to learn it. In parallel I'm trying to study JS + Angular... Well, now I have some douts: is it effective to learn two different languages, which are quite new to me? Maybe, I should learn Node.js instead of Go? Right now it is clear, that this technology (node) is much more demanded. What path should I choose? To follow heart and learn Go? To follow mainstream trend and learn Node.js?

Sending a request to link accounts.
Response: {
errorCode: 200009,
errorMessage: 'Accounts Linked'
}

Wait what? So I checked the docs and this is actually how it is supposed to work... >_<

Flutter help please.
When creating a new website, code has the following:

MyHomePage({Key key, this.title}) : super(key: key);

What does {} content mean? Is it like Javascript, that there is an object passed and we take only those two params?

Because this is how they use it:
MyHomePage(title: 'Flutter Demo Home Page'),

I'm not sure what is the "key" thing