Job interview for junior dev position:

Recruiter: Implement stack
Me: Here you go *typical C++ stack implementation, struct node, push, pop*
Recruiter: This is classical over engineering, you should just inherit from std::stack
Me: wtf?

Most moronic implementation... But atleast it uses some type of sort...

The guy in the blue shirt shows us a real life implementation of HTTP error 418 I'm a teapot

Told someone I'm working on an 0Auth server/library.

*but that already works/exists, why re-invent the weel?*

Because although it indeed already exists/works, I'd rather re-invent the weel and also throughout the process learn how it works in depth than just using an implementation and not learning much new (when I've got time, of course)!

could not find the words for my Rant, so this should explain some of it, All is well now.

Today, I interviewed a candidate for an entry position. I noticed our job post had a requirement of 30+ years of experience in C++.

I fixed it to "Basic implementation skill in C++".

*PM on drugs*

PM: The destination list on our Infinity Rider app is not updating even after the user changes their pickup location.

Me: ???

PM: Infinity App not updating after pick up point change.

Me: Not really sure what you mean... Can I get a screen record?

PM: {{sends screen record}}

PM: You see it's showing results of old search. Not good!!!

Me: {{Watch media half way through and saw the obvious}}

Me: Results on available destination are relative to the user's current location and not the pickup address.

PM: Why would that be? Not good enough!

Me: You actually requested that implementation after I had previously made the destination recommendation list relative to selected pickup address.

PM: Please revert immediately!!!

Me: Hmmm... You told me the reason why that implementation was needed was to prevent users from selecting interstate addresses because they could.

PM: Ooh true. You can leave as is.

PM: {{proceeds to delete all older messages but last}}

Me: (⊙_⊙)

{{ 4 hours later }}

PM: I think we need to look into this implementation a second time.

Took part in a hackathon.... Made the damn system shine and judges didn't even look at the implementation.
Chose the winner by just the idea! And I was like whaaaat the f***!!!

College Graduate joins the team, assigned the first jira story.
Perfect logic, variable naming can be improved, but I can let that go, since the logic was good.

Rejected the implementation in fisheye because she used
if()
{
//
}
Instead of
if(){
//
}

What's wrong with me...

Any other front-end developers check out Visual Studio Code? It’s got a lot of really nice features, including the absolute best implementation of Emmet I’ve ever seen. My new favorite editor on both Windows and Mac!

CVs be like:

"Voluntarily worked as a tech consultant in impoverished communities to promote social mobility and empowerment through the implementation of a specialized computer science learning program and interactive software handling sessions."

Translation: helped my parents attaching word docs to their emails.

Me: ya hi, we integrated with your API and I'm receiving error x
Provider: ok we'll disable validation, plz check
Me: ya it works, what's the problem? I used a GUID for id and I'm sure it's unique, here is URL and request body
Provider: you have something wrong in your implementation. Fix it and it will work
Me: aaand what's the wrong part of my implementation?
Provider: id is not unique, fix it. *Hangs up*

I sometimes sit and wonder, how and why does this kind of people get hired, FOR FUCK SAKE YOU ARE THE PROVIDER AND YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG!
fucking useless ...

Spec sheet vs implementation.

(lateral pull down machine at my school’s gym)

so heres to all the fucking programming teachers who use incorrectly terminology when explaining shit. now i gotta go tell my friend that he should ignore what the teacher said and ill tell her how to myself. also fuck javascript and code.org's terrible implementation of an environment for it.

Just tested my GPU code vs my non-GPU code.

Its a simple game of life implementation. My test is on a 80 x 40 grid running for 100,000 cycles.

The normal code took 117 seconds.
The CUDA code took 2 seconds.

Holy fuck this is terrifying.

Client: we need a big data implementation in AWS to be fully HA and DR.... Money is no object

*3 weeks later when the bill comes in *

Client: its too expensive we don't need this HA stuff we don't even know what it stands for anyhow so can you take it out? But the system still needs 24/7 availability....

Just had another developer tell the team that the requirements “contradicted” his implementation. I think, if you’ll let me check my fuckstick-to-English dictionary… yeah, that just means “I did it wrong and I don’t feel like fixing it.”

Want to make some friends quickly?
Just go to any pseudo startup incubator in a university (all business people with an idea), mention you are a coder (mimicking the typing on a keyboard to make sure they understand) and all of the sudden you'll have a crowd of people around you that "need to talk to you"

The other guys working with me have to physically protect me every time someone finds out

So I would really like to see a devrant like app where devs can share design ideas for problems that are greater than a function call, or topical questions found on stack overflow.

As I have gotten older, I have realized that actual implementation is typically easy, the design approach is typically harder to get right from the first go, so open critique can be very useful.

Argh! What are HTTP status codes for if you're not using them in your API implementation?!

Fucking morons!

My boss: "We need this feature by Friday"
Me: "I can make it work, but I need more time to do it properly"
Boss: "Just fix it by Friday, and you can make a proper implementation later, when there is time"

Like there will ever be time once it works...

It's a weird feeling when you find yourself wondering why the button is not responding, only to realize you've been clicking on the design mockup and not the actual web app you're making...

...at least it probably means the implementation is getting really close to the design.

It's so fucking amazing : working on very low levels concepts such as a malloc implementation makes me understand computer science as a real science. I love it 😍

My new favourite response to a bug ticket:

"But do you not remember we tested the implementation and it worked?"

... yes ... then it broke under other circumstances.

... must be terrorists or something

I finally finished my implementation of a suffix array construction algorithm! 😄
It takes about 30 mins to process 1GB of text and uses all available RAM, but it works! 🎉
Now I can optimize it, the original algorithm is 3x faster.

To those wondering what it's like to onboard to CORP projects:

> create an access request for role APP1_ADMIN_RW
> wait for 2 weeks
> chase for approvals
> chase for implementation
> be ignored for another 1 week
> 3 weeks later receive an email: "your request has been implemented. Now you have access to role APP1_USER_RO"

Remember the time when someone appreciated your code and praised the implementation, said that your code was better??
Yeah, neither do I.

Me: okay brain! We had our morning coffee. We're ready to work. Lots of things to do today.

Brain: yay! I feel unstoppable! Can't wait for logic problems and amazing things we're going to build! What's the plan?

Me: great! Today we're going to work on the ios implementation of our app. Where should we start?

Brain: ...

Me: brain?

I'm studying Software Engineering. Fuck me, right?

Next week I have 3 exams, and I have to deliver the implementation of a Red&Black Tree and a AVL Tree (+ GUI in Swing) by Wednesday. Oh, and also, 5 small systems in C.

I don't know how the FUCK will I survive, but I will.

People want AI,ML, Blockchain implementation in their projects very badly and blindly and expect developer to just get it done no matter how stupid something sounds.

--India

When you really want to forget java for a lifetime and uninstall it but you find a java implementation of something you've been looking for hours.

This is documentation at a noob-program level. We had this one teacher, who shall remain unnamed, who used single letter variable names everywhere, who couldn't understand his own programs when they were shown to him.
PS - The picture attached is supposed to be an implementation of Kruskal's algorithm. Don't ask me what the variables mean.

This will definitely trigger some people.

New smartphone releases aren't 'tech news'.
An implementation of a technology ripped off from other devices (GPS, VR etc..) isn't 'tech news', it's just implementation of an existing technology.

So please, everyone who reads the self-called 'tech news' to look for a new phone release to waste money on - stop calling yourself a 'tech geek' - "Oh my god, I'm such a tech geek, it's embarrassing - this new iPhone was released and I just couldn't wait to get spend my money on it".

Just shut the fuck up - you are willingly dragging a tracking device everywhere you go and you are PAYING for it to look cool and be full of features you won't even fucking use.

I really wonder who is that genius from API team who decided that a namespace with the name "main" is a great fucking idea...

Because of this shit I've had to resort to hacky pImpl implementation of the API.

Project vs implementation

!rant
My first design work (in Adobe XD)

Design has never been my strong point (implementation or design) but am very interested in designing interfaces.

Don't hold your horses. Criticize this. I want to know what you think about this.

C has too much undefined behaviour because the standards comittee was being lazy and slapped that on a lot of issues that ought to have been implementation defined instead.

The most ridiculous example for UB: An unmatched ' or " character is encountered on a logical source line during tokenization.

Like WTF, that should be a compile time error, and it's easy to detect.

"Jury finds Google's implementation of Java in Android was fair use."

Phew!

different kinds of doneness:
- The German kind: The method is thought through, implemented, documented, errors are handled and thoroughly tested.
- The "other" way: The method is there ... somewhere

Just found an implementation of Google Ads Remarketing api on Facebook's domain.
FB users are basically fucked with two big sticks!

Re-implemented a Perl-based log analysis script in plain old C to make it faster.

Horrible implementation... Good times.

My shitty neural network doesn't want to learn.

Wondering if the problem is in my implementation of the backpropagation, or in the fucking hyperparameters.

Stupid network go fuck yourself and suck my neuron.

Need my vaccine receipt to go to a wedding. And I’m in line to get the pdf document. On the one hand this is some cool implementation for a load balancer, on the other hand this so strange… be online in a line to get a document -.0

Damn stupid me...
One of our customers told us, mails are not working with SMTP. They send us a working code example, which looked very similar to our implementation... I was not able to find out what was wrong for hours.

A colleague checked the code later. After 5 minutes: you forgot a ! before checkin the string if it is null or empty...

Shame on me ..

When you're both a designer and a programmer at the same time

when a project manager asks for an effort calculation due to changed requirements, but the calculation itself takes longer than the implementation would...

I just made my own implementation of a scraper for NASA's Pic of the Day. It should have automagically changed my wallpaper at 4 AM to the new pic of the day.

Today's "pic of the day" is a video. It broke my shit.... So much for the excitement of seeing my automation work.

My very first rant here was about the mess of ticket submission and ticket tracking applications we use, and about how we were moving to a single unified system some day.

Well, that day is today. And, predictably, it went horribly wrong.

So the way it's supposed to work is people login to the portal, search for what they want to request, then fill in details and submit. It creates a request ticket assigned to the appropriate team. (The old way involved a bunch of nonsense that you can see in my first rant).

The thing is, I found out about this today, when I got a company-wide email saying the new system was live as of this morning. None of us knew it would happen today. Not that I could've foreseen any issues just by getting the announcement early, but still, usually people find out about these things beforehand.

So, ecstatic to finally be rid of the old ticket tracking system, I log into the new system and look for our request form, which is, of course, not there. I check the old system and see that they combined every single "general request" into a single request where you pick which team the request goes to.

So I finally find the right request, pick the right department from the drop-down, and see that the request looks much better than it did on the old system. Out of curiosity, I look at the list of people who are part of that department.

I am not on the list.

My ENTIRE TEAM is not on the list.

Because they migrated the team data to the new system a year ago, when the issue tracking/reporting portion of it went live. My current team was hired approximately six months after that and apparently updating the team data in the new system isn't part of our Onboarding process yet.

So... Bright side is I guess I will have a lot of free time soon since nobody can submit new project work to my team?

tl;dr: they took a great software product and implemented it so poorly that our team can't use it.

ChatGPT implementation details leaked !!!

This explains everything:
- slow response typing
- occasional nonsensical answers and factual mistakes
- delays before answering
- sudden and random network errors
- "servers" over-capacity
- responses with an Indian accent

Best:
My first 3D engine with a really hacky physics implementation made textured spheres bounce off of each other. Biggest satisfaction ive ever had.

Sprint planning:
PO: I have a great idea for a new game changing feature
Team: cool, let’s talk requirements, etc
PO: nah, I trust you can come up with the best implementation possible
Sprint demo:
Team: presents the feature
PO: Why are you guys always doing it your way, instead of following my vision?!

Every single sprint...

I was done arguing with people about undefined and implementation defined behaviors and what the standard is. I had to make this after someone told "which standard book are you talking about? Which university teaches it?"

When I implemented a new algorithm in C and beat the previous implementation of a tool by 5 seconds in speed (17s best case before) and my mentor implemented the same algorithm's pseudo code beating the previous implementation by 14s.

Lels

Before I was unceremoniously laid off by a shit company in which they tried to blame shit on me I was working on a opencv implementation of a proprietary document scanner.

I finished the Android prototype and was working on the ios implementation. It was left unfinished in the ios version because I was building it in swift and obj c to compare code bases.

They launched a shit unfinished Android app of their product without the scanner (they could not add the scanner lels) and have not been able to do shit on the ios version.

I did not give them the Android prototype. There was no binding contract that specified that what I developed was theirs. There is no record of anything.

The scanner? Is still in my phone and I still have the built project in my mac.
Unless them cheap assholes decide to pay another engineer for the opencv implementation, their vbscript php non theory knowing shit lead will have to figure out the required mat obj c swift java cpp code needed to build it.

Top kek

Microsoft owns github
Microsoft owns windows
Microsoft owns powershell

Why then, why exactly, is it so fucking hard to get ssh private keys for github, up and running on windows powershell.

I tried to change permissions on files but then it broke the git-bash implementation 😭.

Fuck it !! 😭😭

Just found this absolute 5 head, galaxy brain implementation in a piece of code which is called in a loop by a background scheduler which has performance issues.

There are 20+ properties, some which are recursively calling other properties with the same implementation style in this class.

Constant out of memory errors have been reported for this software, I wonder why...

Think twice code Once, if I had a cent for every time I've jump right into the code without a proper analysis or design just to notice that my whole implementation is not functional or scalable I'd be a millionare

If I was rich I would still attend work interviews, except I’d play vodka bingo for every stupid thing I hear.

“We have our own agile implementation” *sips from the mug*

“Yeah we have uh...some testing” *sips*

“We are the leader in our sector” *sips*

I think I’d die at 30 if I started playing at 20

When you spend a couple of hours considering how to change your implementation of Dijkstra's algorithm to be directional only to realise it already was

Fuck!

Self.setIntelligence(-1)

I remember the first time our class coded a simple program in C. The objective was to input two random numbers, check which one is larger, and output it on the screen.

After class, I asked one of my classmates if he finds the test easy. My classmate replied that it was so easy he got bored. Then when I asked him to show me his code, this was what I saw:

int a, b;
printf("Enter smaller number: ");
scanf("%i", &a);
printf("Enter larger number: ");
scanf("%i", &b);
printf("Larger number: %i\n", b);

CSS "scroll-behavior: smooth" implements smooth scrolling with CSS only. That's pretty awesome, even though JavaScript had a similar implementation, which has, equal to "scroll-behavior: smooth", bad browser support. I hope browsers implement it fast and it performs good.

Yesterday before going to bed, I got rid of and made sure my program has no more errors so that I can implement other features in the morning.

Today when I compiled the same program again(without any additional implementation) I got more errors then I solved in night. I guess the part when I got rid of errors was just a part of my dream!!

Aint a rant, but pulsar player has the best fucking implementation of the material design ive ever seen, everything is perfectly flat and still alive aaah

"A perfect implementation of the wrong specification is worthless. By the same principle a beautifully crafted library with no documentation is also damn near worthless. If your software solves the wrong problem or nobody can figure out how to use it, there’s something very bad going on. " - Tom Preston-Werner

When you migrate from PHP 5.6 to PHP 7, if you use MongoDB, be careful, the driver is not the same ! So you have to rewrite your implementation !

TIL you can make the smallest implementation of Debian:

Use only busybox and APT
Remove sysd and use busybox init

Holy fucking shit, let's make this an actual distro and call it debsmol

AWS write awful docs. The .Net SQS example code has spelling mistakes, bits missing and doesn't work.

Also would be helpful if it highlighted that the .Net Core implementation is fundamentally different.

Jerks.

I only wish that my agile team comes up with the task breakup and documents the implementation approach to our project, as good as this kid did, while panning for a party!

img source: reddit

You know what's fucking horrible?

Implementing new features to an Android app in production that another dev wrote...

...which has no architecture, no documentation, no modularity, no testability, everything runs on the UI thread, filled with spaghetti code and it somehow works smoothely so I have to not fuck it up.

Oh and I'm also a junior. So fuck me, right?

!rant

Been working on a custom html partial injector (js/jquery only) as both a personal challenge and utility to use for my website scaffold. Being a challenge, i decided not to look at any implementation from another JS framework. I won't lie, i had it 'working' at least 5 times now, but this time, after about 3-4 days, i think i got it for real. And the cool thing? It's a bit less code than my original implementation even with my generous whitespace and verbosity. And it even unwraps nicely so it looks like a regular html page in the dev tools.

I love when things finally work as they should--God knows i question my motives before then.

Core library was giving serious blow out of execution speed as data file size increased.

Traced it back to a GetHashCode implementation that was giving too many collisions for unequal objects, so when used as the key in a hash table it was causing the lookup to fall back to checking Equals (much slower).

Improved the GetHashCode implementation, and also precalculated it on construction (they were immutable objects), and run time went to warp speed! Was very happy with that.

Obviously put in a thread sleep to help manage expectations with the boss/clients going forwards. Can’t give those sort of gains away in one go. Sets a dangerous precedent.

What's the longest lifetime of one of your applications where you did a significant portion of the implementation?

I just got a warning message out of the blue from one of mine. It was written in 2005/2006 several employers ago and still going strong!

Did anyone heard about modular C?
I'm working on it at school, it's like how to do OOP in C with structures and function pointers.

We're developing the String class but next, we will make a basic C++ implementation in C before beginning the real C++

Do you think it's a good path?

Finding comments in legacy code like "too tired, fuck you" or "this implementation is dirtyyyyyy" makes me wanna punch a dev.

I was working with a stable installation of an elaborated platform. Some plugins were installed. After upgrading the installation by 2 patch level the customer registration was not working anymore.

In these two patch level a method in an interface got an additional optional parameter which had a major impact on the behaviour the implemented method. A plugin decorated the implementation without knowing about the new parameter. Therefore when calling the method the decorating class did not pass the new parameter in to the decorated implementation and the fallback value was given instead.

The caller expected the method to do something and did not branch into an alternative way but the default value disables the expected behaviour. Eventually nothing happened.

Breaking changes in patch levels woop di fucking do.

Honestly, stripe support is the best I've ever dealt with and I wish others would be exactly the same.

No level 0 support agents that don't know what the fuck they are talking about nor know their product to begin with, but instead every single person you chat with knows the API and even implementation details, just such a pleasant experience.

When I post a collab and someone asks me how the project is going and how much the progress..

Inside me: oh boy, I just post ideas here.. not time for implementation

FOSS implementation of VS Remote

Me: Did you notice <application> is doing <bug>?
Best co-worker: Hmmm yea, I noticed.
Me: It must be because of <faulty implementation>.
Best co-worker: Yeah, don't worry I'll correct it.
Me: *moves on happily to other things*

Why has programming become dependency management and third party paid libraries implementation?

I hate it.

I want to code some real hard stuff but everything is already made!

Manager told something to developer
Developer completes task
clients :This implementation not correct to manager
Manager: In front of clients ya developers made mistake I will tell them
Manager to dev:can u change this implementation with new requirements
😂😂Developer know Manger made mistake

So I spent the last 2 hours trying to figure out why my co-workers source when hitting the API I built was not working. They kept saying that the problem was the API and I kept saying that it's their implementation.

Turns out it was their implementation and as well as the API. Their implementation problem was not setting the "Accept" in the header. The API problem is how Laravel will return a JSON error response ONLY IF the "Accept" is set in the header.

I actually documented this into the API documentation but it's obvious that none of my co-workers read that you need to set the headers correctly. I think the more scary thing is that they didn't know the difference between Accept and Content-Type!!

You add a pure virtual function to a abstract class and then you realize that class have have been inherited by 23 other classes and you add implementation to all of them. 😕😕😕

I thought I at least was OK at JavaScript, but today I looked at a tictactoe implementation, and with all the fancy new syntax I have no clue what most of it is doing.

@dfox I sent you an email regarding a better, safer implementation of the third-party notification server! Can you take a look?

>makes a bug report about the JS linter in Eclipse Che not working

> makes it a P2 bug (moderate severity)

> confirms in their current implementation it doesnt work

> escalates to P1 (high severity)

wow for once Eclipse is actually making their shit better

When you've signed a contract to not build something similar to the customers product but their implementation sucks and you just want to make the world a better place. #Hooli

Few weeks back, late night, busy watching online series and suddenly, junior pings me and asks for doubts related to implementation design and then implementation in nodejs (which I touched long long ago). And, me being attracted towards debugging, and kind heart to help the junior(hihi kind heart), helped to completely resolve the issue by texting and screenshot of logs sent over message.. just to mention. Time was around 2-3 am.. my most effective time period..

Seeing posts about standards vs implementation of compilers. People not getting that "standards release" != "vendor release" for C++ compilers.

I've just found that python includes a logo implementation. That turtle thing where you give it instructions to draw. Awesome nerds.

Beautiful is better than ugly.
Explicit is better than implicit.
Simple is better than complex.
Complex is better than complicated.
Flat is better than nested.
Sparse is better than dense.
Readability counts.
Special cases aren't special enough to break the rules.
Although practicality beats purity.
Errors should never pass silently.
Unless explicitly silenced.
In the face of ambiguity, refuse the temptation to guess.
There should be one-- and preferably only one --obvious way to do it.
Although that way may not be obvious at first unless you're Dutch.
Now is better than never.
Although never is often better than *right* now.
If the implementation is hard to explain, it's a bad idea.
If the implementation is easy to explain, it may be a good idea.
Namespaces are one honking great idea -- let's do more of those!

You told the design team this won't work on a large scale
Design team: Well we designed it, so, fuck you !
You: Does the implementation...
End Product: * Doesn't work *

Design Team: Why isn't it working, suggest a workaround

* Facepalm *
* Dead Inside *
* Give me Death Note plox *

Numbers implementation in so many freaking languages!!!

Lack of naming consistency, and meaning.
And yes, setImmediate and setTimeout 0...

But the biggest feature issue is that people can code without thinking!!! There should be some hardware security to impede stupid fucks from committing code...

The GIL sucks.

"Just use a non-GIL implementation!"

Which? The one stuck on 3.4 or the one stuck on 2.7?

"Just use multiprocessing!"

Just hit a nail in with a pile driver!

When your compiler is too smart and inlines and unrolls the function call with its own implementation on a preemptable kernel code a simple memcpy call can be used to destroy the system :D

they say do TDD

but its often that my test is wrong while my implementation is correct lol.

I am wondering how a #FunctionalProgramming based implementation of a Binary Search Tree would look like?

Has anyone tried it?

One day a week should be for improving the quality of the code, not just bugfixing and rushed implementation of new features.

I've found a very interesting paper in AI/ML (😱😱 type of papers), but I was not able to find the accompanying code or any implementation. After nearly a month I checked the paper again and found a link to a GitHub repo containing the implementation code (turned out they updated the paper). I was thinking of using this paper in one of my side projects, but the code is licensed under "Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License". The question is to what extent this license is applicable? Anyone here has experience in this? thanks

What I hate the most about my job?
Wrongly estimate the time required to do things…

Sometimes is good, I think it will take 3 days and I'm done in 1, but other times it's not!
e.g. today I estimated an easy implementation would took 5 minutes and it took 5 hours instead… fml

I have an old manager that I worked with at an old job that got me shit canned for a failed web sockets implementation. He works at a new company and wants to talk.

What should I do?

A) I don’t trust this fucker. Ignore him.
B) Forgive and forget and try to get the job?
C) Something else.
D) SWAT the motherfucker.

PSA: Don't chase shiny.

Serverless stacks are fast, easy, and cheap... until they're not. 75% of the way through an implementation when the company started to realize that we would be done by now if we continued to use our own infrastructure.

"Our app needs a barcode scanner"
Fair enough, let's do this!
Android implementation using Zxing: 3 days. Ios: 9 days...
1. Dev iPhone has a subtle hw defect that doesn't let it connect to the computer anymore...
2. Our app-framework doesn't have a proper plugin for ios barcode scanners yet.
3. The first barcodescanner implementation is completely broken
4. Swift is not possible because of conflicting framework plugins
5. Build a plugin from scratch, using zxing objective c port.
6. Build problems with main app.
7. Fuck my life

Restarting regular expression parser from scratch has been good. I am somehow both much farther to completion and farther away from completion than I was in the earlier implementation.

Further in the sense that this implementation is going to be way more flexible to changes in the language

Farther in that I haven’t even got all of the regex parts added to the first stage yet.

But I’m feeing good about it.

Even if I did refactor it so my constants are in all caps and now feel like my core is yelling at me.

I made some changes and I wasn't seeing my implementation.
I forgot to save...

Wtf does it even make sense to ask devs to do estimates for the spike, planning and the implementation of a big feature containing other features which nobody has any idea how long it will take to do and what are the dependencies and to try to fit it in the next quarter release?

Agile my ass.

CodeCheck
Implementation of hackerrank in django.

Question to the Java developers here:

Is it always the case that Oracles documentation and actual implementation don't match?

Documentation <-> Implementation.
Stack overflow somewhere in between.

So what am I supposed to do?
Stay connected for life?

I fucking hate React.

Ohh and I especially hate WordPress implementation of said abomination in their Gutenberg editor.

1. Put idea on roadmap
2. Work out simple implementation
3. Productowner-san, please notice me.
4. Other devs pile on cool but complex ideas
5. A 4 hour meeting later, original simple idea is rejected because it's "out of scope" and there is "no consensus about implementation"
6. I already built it during the meeting
7. I sip my coffee while I enjoy the annoyed gasps as coworkers receive PR notifications.
8. FUCKING DARE TO REJECT IT COCK SUCKING SCRUMBAGS.

My manager gave me a project about integration & deployment to another internal product which involves consuming oauth credentials which were already available in AmazonS3. The worst part of this is I wont have any access to any AWS resources and no sandbox environment.

And I'm like. How the fuck should I do this? Should I just conceptualize and pray to the machine spirits and hope that this wont have any fucking issues?

Every time I see the N+1 query problem in people's implementation, I feel like crying. Especially when it's dealing with large data sets of something like 1000 records.

Teach kids to love computer science first, the rest comes later.
When I was in uni, most of my pals don't know why they're in the class. How the fuck can you teach linked list implementation when most of the students don't seem to bother to understand what a variable is?

Just in a meeting with data science team. They're testing a different random forest implementation and getting better results and I asked why and the HEAD OF THE FUCKING DATA SCIENCE DEPARTMENT says "I'm not sure, I think maybe different default parameters" and I'm like WHAT THE FUCK the old implementation we just set the defaults and went with that

So I am trying to implement a deep learning paper.
And I started reading, It's fucking unbelievable

First page: maybe I will get it in the second page!!
Second page: what did I miss from the first page?
Third page: Woohw, let me start over.

Now: I am reading about linear algebra and basic probability theories.

I guess this is is why not anyone can be on deep learning research areas and not used by many developers.

Salesforce. Although I wasn't involved in the purchase or the implementation, I spent many 100 hour weeks dealing with the crapshoot of an implementation. A large company abused that software to the point of no return. They used that thing for everything, and then they didn't even use it right for the one thing salesforce is good at. So I guess I don't have anything against salesforce itself besides its scalability issues, custom SOQL syntax, user model, and pricing. I'm more upset about the salesforce developers/business owners that decided it was okay to use salesforce for things it was never meant for, like inventory, project management, 3rd party sales team, and so many other things that caused what should have been sub-second queries to take 30 to 60 seconds.

Seriously, does anyone really use TDD? It sound good in theory, but generally the devs are already used to implementation-first and are not willing/disciplined enough to change their mindset.
I think the biggest disadvantage of TDD is not taking into account how freaking lazy developers are in general.
Or maybe I just wasn't willing enough to make the change.
Thoughts?

"Make a good version of something that already exists but has a dogshit implementation" is my current idea. And it's an idea that would be worthwhile but just plain annoying to do.

Oh the joy of enterprise software development in a legacy system. I just wanted to add a new checkbox with a small feature and now I'm balls deep in age old half decent documentation and just have to pray it works. Implementation time: about 2 days or so

Me: Where is your unit tests?
Dev: I tested manually and it worked.
Me: What if there are changes to the code in future?
Dev: We'll manually retest the implementation. It'll be fine.

*flip table*

So easy to make typographic attacks on image recognition models.

Depending on your implementation, you may need to change your entire model.
FML.

"There is a reason that we keep our variables private. We don’t want anyone else to depend on them. We want to keep the freedom to change their type or implementation on a whim or an impulse. Why, then, do so many programmers automatically add getters and setters to their objects, exposing their private variables as if they were public?"
-Uncle Bob, Clean Code.

API provider: include a signature based on these fields in this order. DO NOT ENCODE IT!

Implementation works a while, then..

*a wild apostrophe appears*

Signature no longer works.

API Provider: "oh, yeah we escape those."

Arrghhghghghhhghvhxmchsoxnsoxnwl

Not only is it a poor design for signing payloads, the documentation is shockingly poor in it.
Even the implementation example (which is supposedly from their code) doesn't account for any type of escaping or encoding.

Before anyone asks, I can't into details about the implementation.

“Yes... but my implementation is in Rust”

Freaking github markdown! I just want this directly under each other like i fucking wrote it:

[Client implementation](implementation_client.md)
[Server implementation](implementation_server.md)

But it's places it together on one line. Fine, i put a new line between it.

[Client implementation](implementation_client.md)

[Server implementation](implementation_server.md)

It fucking shows a blank line in between!
AAAARGH

I'm sure the github CTO was seen on Epstein's island

implementing an email verification .. it shows differently in different email .. If I fix something for yahoomail .. it shows broken in gmail .. just fedup of this .. my whole day has been wasted for this shit today .. 😑😑

Some old cool warning:
"class X' only defines private constructors and has no friends"
(using a singleton pattern implementation)

Always amazes me how as soon as someone is given the "tech lead" hat, they tend to argue for an alternative implementation for the sake of having last say instead of listening to those with more domain knowledge.

🤷‍♂️

Coworker and dev lead had a discussion about newsletter implementation last friday.
I told them, i’ve tried the setup before, it’s not gonna work, it’s behind an ip-block and they need a backend person.

Lead was convinced it was possible and started drawing stuff.

End result: wasn’t possible.

People really need to start listening around here...

I swear the implementation of byte arrays in dot net is fucking brilliant, never thought I would give good credit to dot net but the amount of bloody times this shit has saved me is unbelievable...

Google Apps Script is probably the worst scum of the earth I’ve come across in a while.

Shit documentation and JavaScript 1.6, really?

No wonder nobody uses this crap and has proper implementation of a vast variety of applications.

Have you ever seen a tree data structure implementation in any code base?
I wonder why recruiters are so desperately asking how to invert binary trees in my coding interviews🥴

Inherited a codebase that implements its own word wrapping for receipt printing. Problem is it's putting an extra space at the end of each line.

I open up the implementation, expecting it to be a relatively simple fix, until I see this…

var regex = '.{1,' +width+ '}(\\s|$)' + (cut ? '|.{' +width+ '}|.+$' : '|\\S+?(\\s|$)');
return str.match(RegExp(regex, 'g')).join(linebreak);

The typical university project as a group:

- Discuss/Make somebody create the items in Jira: 2 days
- Implementation: 2 hours
- Tests: What are tests? Do I write them in my main method?
- Review/Someone sees the code: 9 hours
- Staging/Production: No one is ever going to use the "software"

Why developer of c# (Anders Hejlsberg) when developing (TypeScript) not implemented method overloading and interfaces' methods implementation with same names.

Always nice when you discover that your hardware has an *ELABORATE* HARDWARE OFFLOADING ENGINE with full protocol implementation for something you spent two months writing software for...

Well, at least the current solution works like it is supposed to. Don't know that yet of the hardware implementation.
It would save 4 euro component cost though if we switch to the offloading engine

Maximum dislike for JavaScript's regex implementation.

!rant

So I started learning Golang.
I have to say, I heard the language was good but holy shit!

I got my eye on you implicit interface implementation👀👀

I can't wait to start my first project with a clusterfuck of compositions 🤤

P.s: syntax is kinda weird ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Stuck at implementation from 5 days.BTW I am a developer

Breakup and all hurts
But have you ever experienced you're working fucking hard on a project in your company for 3 weeks and suddenly they drop the idea for a new feature implementation ?

Trust me it feels so much fucking demotivated .
Idk what to say now

Shows perfect results.
PM: Nice, integrate that into the latest version.
Shows bad results.
PM: Your integration must be wrong.
Show him the file diff, no difference in my implementation.

It's funny how the exact same feature goes to shit immediately after they push all these untested changes.

I wrote a webserver few months back but I couldn't complete the docs and 2-3% implementation part as I had to switch to some other projects.

Today I'm learning what I created myself.

Gah I'm so mad at openCV right now. Is so stupid. Why the heck does it's kalman filter implementation accept 'float' as an acceptable type but not 'np.float32' gah gah gah it's so dumb spent half my day on that gah thank God for git diff it saved me cause it worked before and now gahhhhh. Anyway.

Another GeeksForGeeks rant

Wisecrack got me a bit interested in primes (just a passing interest). I looked up their python implementation of "Sieve of Atkin". Wow, is it bad.

First of all, they use PascalCase instead of underscore_natation so that's points off right there.

Their function takes a limit as a parameter (pretty obviously).

Their program breaks if you pass a prime number as a limit. That's right, if you give it a 2, it breaks. Pretty pathetic.

Reading the comments, their Java implementation is wrong too.

For fucks sake guys, if you're going to have an algorithm blog at least write good algorithms.

Coding an Augmented Reality with custom implementation.

Coding a 2d UFO game with Unity.

I'm between those two as "most fun coding"

Me when I complete the actual coding implementation and have to write Unit Test cases:
" AND NOW MY WATCH ENDS HEREEE! "

On the upside, my tests caught that my implementation isn't consistent with the spec. On the downside, holy fuck that is full of gremlins...

Working on implementing a new networking layer for business security requirements...but the requirements were talked about in backdoor "special" meetings; "lowly" implementation engineers aren't allowed in. God knows the engineers implementing the solution don't need to know requirements for what they are implementing 🙃

"Just encrypt everything!"
Oh sure let me just pull out my magic button 🤬

Got frustrated with trying to shoehorn an overly-customized, spaghetti code WooCommerce implementation back into one that is easier to maintain via plugins. Got on my bike and rode north toward my old neighborhood until I started recognizing landmarks. Part of me wants to keep riding and never return.

Anyone used base 12 in a project before?
Read about it on the internet (duo decimal, dodecimal, dozenal, etc) and I wonder if:
* There are useable implementations.
* Actual use cases.
* Have you used it in projects before?

Trivia: before Napoleon raged in Europe, a lot of citizens counted in 12. Think of your clock or legacy money.

I'm especially interested in the use cases. I bet there are implementations, just haven't bothered to Google them yet.

*Building random c++ project to practice for exam*

*Gets stuck on linker error for a while*

*Furiously screams at compiler*

*Realizes that one of the implementation files is missing from the g++ command*

*Internally screams at self*

I'll do great on the exam, huh?

I just found out, there is a GCC flag that prevents you from using integers in a bool context in C.
Like wtf?!
Not only is this the original "bool" implementation of C, but it's also a widespread concept for use in NULL checks and the likes.

Do you guys ever wake up early shaking with cortisol thinking about code? I woke up super early bc my anxious ass brain thought I had to have an implementation plan and architecture setup for my dreams before I could truly stay asleep

According to my university lecture you have clean and good code if every tiny little functionality is split into 5+ files. Gotta have an interface, factory, low level implementation, high level implementation, and at this point I don't even know what purpose the other abstraction levels have. Just end me already...

Sometimes I think of how much great and useful stuff you could learn at an university if they used time efficiently. But instead you spend years mostly just studying theoretical or very abstract topics. Whereas 80%+ of useful knowledge and skills you learn on your own.

Today I realized that compilers are children, and must be treated as such. Generally, you might tend to expect a language to follow the same rules consistently, but oh how wrong you are, my sweet summer child.

I have a framework that I've been reusing across several personal Unity3d projects for a while, and all was well. This week, I was tasked with creating a PoC that combines a web app with Unity WebGL for data visualization. My framework has a ton of useful stuff helped me create the PoC very quickly, and all was well.

Come 3 days ago and there's one last piece that isn't working for some reason. It almost appears that this one bit of code isn't executing at all. Today, after countless hours of swearing at the computer and banging my head against the wall, I realized that the WebGL compiler has a different implementation for the method that checks assignability of types. An implementation that has different rules than everything else. An implementation that has no documentation about this discrepancy anywhere. I have no words.

tl;dr: The language changed the rules on me. Fuck me right?

I literally spent a week fighting scope creep instinctively introduced by myself on a submodule with the nominal role *Read all files the compiler needs to read using the fewest possible additional steps*

I have to keep reminding myself that there's no such thing as a scope too narrow. If its purpose can be described without spelling out the implementation, it can be encapsulated.

I lost the last few days trying to understand what's wrong with my esp32 project (i2c is unstable),
without success.
I felt so angry.

then i realized that it's not my fault.
but it's a bad implementation of i2c api by espressif.

Now i have to wait for their fix😴

Question for devs who use Intellij IDEA.

How often do you use livetemplates?

I am a new android dev with ADHD and just discovered live templates. They make my life much easier, for example I have shortcuts for generating recyclerview adapter/viewholder/implementation boilerplate code.

In that way I am able to focus on implementation, and do my coding like building blocks, rather than memorizing every detail of implementation. Also I don't need to go to stackoverflow and copypaste basic things multiple times. Even for example during live coding interview having livetemplates seems awesome, copypasting from stackoverflow would be shameful (I think). Using my own custom shortcuts for livetemplates seems the best way for how my brain functions (I suck at memorizing tiny details, but I remember general idea/flow of a pattern and I would prefer memorizing what to use and when to use, instead of all small details of implementation).

Is getting to dependent on livetemplates a good practice to get used to? Do other developers frown upon a dev who has dozens of livetemplates and relies on them instead of writing all code from memory by hand?

My boss was not opposed to the idea giving me the title "Production Implementation and Maintenance Professional". If I send it to him in an E-mail he forwards it to HR.

@reesmid

Here is a working implementation.

The feeling of finding out the possible hole I left in an implementation I pushed last Friday and spent all weekend stressing about, was handled in another piece of code.. ahhhhhh 🤗

Someone had been too lazy to read the documentation and now we have to come up with a solid and correct implementation, which should have been done months ago

RTFM, people..!!! 😏🤦🏻‍♂️

Since I started the process has been something like this:
def new_project():
Have an idea;
for implementation in idea:
search("how to/
{implementation}");
if idea.works():
me.celebrate()
else:
me.die_a_bit_inside()

When working with a customer and he says that the implementation can wait for a bit. But then decides that there needs to be a temporary implementation in 2 days. And it can later be implemented the way it should be.. Thanks for letting me know on time! #timeVeryMuchWasted

What's better, good documentation or a reference implementation?

Boss wanted our AES implemented to use an Initialization Vector. I changed the implementation to add an IV and all the tests passed on the first try!

I changed the implementation to fail just to make sure I wasn't getting false positives.

Is disaster recovery capability to meet business requirements and testing it part of your new system implementation roadmap?

anybody ever work with ProjectQ or QISKit? I'm doing a project for my algorithms class on Shor's algorithm, and I'm trying to find a guide for an implementation.

Have you already used fullscreen video as a background/intro screen in one of your designs ? Do you have a preferred method of implementation ?

So basically.... you should make the implementation of this wireframe .... which may change in the nearest future but we don't know it yet, so better you start it anyway because it may even be the final one.

....

F***

Things are trivial before one starts implementation

Hi senior, now you know it's not trivial as you reimplement my code and break things, right?

I'm learning a new lang. Read all of the introductory guide. Have an algp to implement.

Suddenly I realize I suck at designing the implementation. Then I grab pen and paper and obssessively try to solve it all theoretically.

Or maybe I suck at this new lang? Who knows.

Am I the only one that doesn't think purely data-oriented programming is a particularly good idea?

I mean we're throwing out all the principles that have been established over the last 20 years of OOP like encapsulation and implementation hiding. And you can say what you want about OOP and yes it's not perfect, but there are things that work quite well. Implementation hiding is a perfect example of something that I don't think I just want to give up.

DOP feels like going back to programming C in the 80's with fully procedural functions and completely open structs.

Am I just going mad?

I wonder if I should add to my bachelor thesis' implementation report that I had trouble setting up my SQL init script and lost around a day because I made a typo in a table-name and therefore my foreign key kept fsiling for unknown reasons 😂