This is just wrong..

OneDrive:
Login -> Password/Account is wrong
Forgot Password -> Account does not exist
Registration -> There is already an account with this email adress
Well, Fuck you

This is wrong on so many levels

This should not be called wisdom teeth, should be called stupid teeth
Mother fucker is growing perpendicular.

What fuck is wrong with you bro , grow upwards you dumb fuck!!

"Today I won't code, I'll just play some games or watch TV and relax!"

"Hmmm... I'll just fix this one small thing here... shouldn't take long. And then its time for some gaming!"

* 3 hours later *

Still coding, wtf is wrong with me

Sister: "Can you fix my computer?"

Me: "What's wrong?"

S: *explains the issue

Me: *types that into Google and shows her the search results

S: *gives me the look

M: "This is seriously what I do to fix a lot of my problems 🧚"

When something goes wrong at work, my boss will blame the first dev in his vicinity ...

Boss: "what the hell happened? why are the servers down?! This is unacceptable! Blah blah etc etc"

Me: "I dunno. Let me review if my CSS had anything to do with it" 😑😩

So, I'm programming a control system for a prototype aerospace vehicle. You know, the stuff that needs to work to prevent falling out of the sky.

Anyway, test day was today (was -- not anymore). Wiring all the electronics, everything is actuating and works well. Except for one part, a little thruster for stability.

I spent hours - literally, fucking hours - trying to fix the problem. Wrong address? Wrong syntax? I had absolutely no clue what was wrong. Queue the hardware guy, $stupid:

$stupid: "How have you not got it working yet?!"

$me: "I don't know, everything I'm trying isn't working. I've spent hours digging through this code and nothing is fucking working."

$stupid: "Well have you set it up for the new thruster?"

$me: "What...What new thruster?"

$stupid: "Oh, the one we installed this morning, did noone tell you?"

WHY WOULDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS?! COMMUNICATION 101!

Saw this quote in a local newspaper. The guy is against buying laptops for school kids which I also am against but he makes the wrong argument. 25 years ago my school had computer rooms where we learnt how to code and although I don't use that language now it is still the same concepts as any modern language.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
8 FUCKING GB GONE FOR ANDROID STUDIO! THAT IS HALF THE RAM I HAVE FOR THIS LAPTOP!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG IT KEEPS GETTING WORSE T_T

client: the math on this investment calculator you made is wrong.

me: ok, how is it wrong?

client: one of our salesmen sais it not calculating correctly.

me: that's fine. i just need an example, or the corrected formula to use.

client: on this other website we put in the same information and it comes out different.

me: ok, let me investigate... this other site adds a fee every month so the output is different. If i turn that off the calculations are the same. would you like to add a monthly fee field?

clients: no, the calculator is working how we want then.

repeat 5 times at 3 month intervals.

client: the interest calculator is broken again. didn't we just fix it?

me: it was never broken. your people just can't math.

Windows tells me to „contact the network administrator“.
I yell at the machine: „I AM THE ADMINISTRATOR!!!1!“

Why is Microsoft doing this? Instead of telling me what exactly went wrong, the come up with messages like
“Something happened”
“This is not possible”
“Error 0x2342133723”
“Do you want to ask a Friend?”

I really hope the authors of those error messages will burn in hell for that!

GUYS WE HAVE BEEN WRITING FOR LOOPS IN JAVA WRONG THE WHOLE TIME. Here is how it should be done correctly...
int i = 0;
for(;(i<10) ? true : false;)
{
i++;
System.out.println(i);
}

Jokes aside though does anyone have any more horrid ways to write this?

All my unit tests work, all my component tests work, why the FUCK does it give me a 'Verification Failed' error?

1 hour later:
Oh wait this is the wrong public key

Ok something went wrong.
I don't know how this could happen.

🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔

I finished a side project.

How could this happen?

🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔 🤔

Ahh I know. It is absolutely useless.

"The CRM has this address wrong" - Client

"What do you mean? Where?" - Me

"When I start typing the business name it autofills wrong" - Client

"You mean Chrome is auto-completing from a previous typo you entered, and you're blaming the software? That'll be $100 for Chrome training." - Me

MOTHERFUCKING MICROSOFT!!! JUST SEND ME THIS FUCKING EMAIL !!!! WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!? EVERY FUCKING TIME IT TAKES TOOOOOOO MUUUUUCH TIME TO RECEIVE ANY FUCKING CONFIRMATION EMAIL!!! ITS FUCKING 2017 ALREADY GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER YOU PIECE OF SHIT

Buzzwords.

I can't fucking stand it when people use them in the entirely wrong context, just to sound smart, or whatever very much wrong or invalid reason.

But, I also can't fucking stand it when people, just because some word is a buzzword, invalidate/demonize it by default when it *IS* used in the right context.

I see this last one more and more and it annoys me to death.

Code Review:
Me: this is wrong, it doesnt work when XY
Dev: yes but it will work in 99 of 100 Times, i won't change it

I don't know what's wrong with my project. But somehow, this is the screening when you debugs a React Native app within DevTools.

when you have to do this because the code looks correct but you're not sure what the heck is wrong because it doesn't make sense

* me listening to something while coding
* something goes wrong, trying to fix it..

Takes time and no solution.

- ok this is serious *put headphones down*

It's funny. I've been doing this work for about 6 weeks now my 'I don't give a fuck' level on some issues/subjects is rising.

By the way, this is only with things that aren't wrong on our side.

Man, the stress relieve!

Dev: Hey, I need you to see something.
Client: ok
Dev: this is the models of those reports you need
Client: ok, wait, what is that number? This is wrong, we can't...
Dev: hey, calm down, this is not the production, it's just fake database!
Client: ah, ok.
(5 minutes of explantion)
Dev: so, what do you think?
Client: just one point, that data is very very wrong, we need to change this ASAP!

what is wrong with this world

Dev gets hold of me, says my service is down in QA. Works if he hits it locally, works via Postman, but via the QA app server it gives a 401.

I’m like, look, if it works everywhere else, there’s something wrong on your side in QA.

He insists, no, I must help him, and begins CCing all the managers telling them this system has been down for days.

So I eventually climb into his system, check the credentials they’re using in the QA environment, and sure enough, the password is wrong.

After interviewing 3 candidates for software today, I have officially decided its time to seriously pursue creating a YouTube channel with a complete set of series to learn programming MY WAY... not the short cut way... this will go all the way to beginning and start the person up with a solid foundation to build on... I’m going to pour my knowledge into these series.
The education system has failed too many in the real world... to many people I have interviewed they think they know have a degree but are clueless.. this is unacceptable and a waste... AND way too often I see online “learn programming in 30 days or learn programming in a day”... fuck off it’s all lies .. all wrong.. wrong methods wrong philosophy and I’m done with it...
I’m set on doing it this time, I’ve put it off too long, and longer I put it off the more I see shitty interviews! Time to fix it

Do you really expect that I can debug in a few minutes, a part of the software that I didn't build and have never seen before and have no knowledge of the external, third-party web service that code is reaching out to?

Dude, flippin' chill, take a walk, grab a drink, pop some popcorn and give me some time to figure out what the hell this code is doing so I can properly debug it!

You know what it turned out to be? Wrong test data used for the 3rd party service. So in essence... Nothing was wrong! Frickity frack!

What I would define as a critical bug:
- System doesn't respond
- Functionality is broken
- Client data is all wrong

What QA defines as a critical bug:
- Typo on this page in the QA environment

Came across this gem a few months ago ago. The only thing I can think of is the recruiter had his favorite pornsearch phrase in his clipboard manager and hit the wrong hotkey.

Once I got zero in an exam just because I chose to make a function for a piece of code I had to use repeatedly. I went to my lab teacher and asked her what was wrong about my code to which she replied "This code is wrong because there should not be this function in this class". She was our lab instructor and turned out she marked us by matching our code with code given to her by our lecturer. I quietly returned to my seat and started thinking about how did she get this job.

Damn you stackoverflow!

Why can't we declare an answer as outdated or deprecated or just plain out wrong!

I like that you have so many questions, yet when the correct solution is a 0-upvoted by a 0-rep user hidden at the very bottom between a huge amount of wrong answers and whereas the *accepted* yet wrong answer has upvotes that are skyhigh, it just wastes my time.

All that is achieved is a feedback loop enforcing a faulty answer will accumulate ever more upvotes. And waste somebody else's time in the future as well.

I cannot add the correct information, as that would harm the author's intent. I cannot edit the faulty answer to state that there is a better answer, as that would be an attempt to reply. I can downvote it, yet that just a tiny drop on a very hot stone.

All I can do is add a comment pointing to a correct answer, yet that is easily overlooked.

Come on, stackoverflow! This is madness!

A lot of Project managers are idiots.
Here is what happened: I am a backend developer and was asked to replace some images on some website (not even sure this is supposed to be a backend task). So i did, changes went through review and then they were live.
A few hours later they come to me saying i made a mistake because the image has wrong color tone in one of the browsers (internally facepalming myself)... I didn't design the images nor made any changes to them... I just fucking uploaded the files that were sent to me... That's fucking it.
They blamed me for a design issue and how I should've noticed this issue blah blah blah... And i had to spend an entire fucking hour to explain to them step by step what i did, how i did it and why the color tone was wrong even though i am not a designer and my main tool is VISUAL FUCKING STUDIO AND NOT PHOTOSHOP.

The shit part is that the images were sent to us by the client, so really, it is their fucking fault not mine.
Oh, and they tried to guilt me by saying the client won't pay for this since the images are wrong.

Lost an hour to this bullshit.

Fuck today. Just fucking fuck today. Every fucking thing is going wrong.

A router reset might work for the Internet part buuuuuut there's 4 rooms on this router so i can't really do that until tonight - the end of the fucking weekend, exactly!

Qa: do you think this looks like the provided designs?

Me: yes I do...?

Qa: well it doesn't, please check

Me: well I hate playing find the difference, how about you fucking tell me what exactly is wrong?

php : dont leave me alone. i own the web. wtf?!!
python : really? i am the best 😎
js : such an idiot. you need me.
c : wtf is wrong with this kids?! go play outside.
.
.
.
asp.net : i'm here, anybody? no? ok.

WWDC was last night. Joined my companies "iOS" slack channel this morning expecting to see lots of activity about SwiftUI, Combine, Federated Login, New iPad updates ... but no. The only comment

"Does anyone else feel like the event artwork is lazy and uninspired?"

... I am just fundamentally in the wrong company

Me: don't limit yourself! Learn more than one thing, experiment and learn more.

Devrant: don't use x. X is a piece of shit and its not worth it. This is better, and you are wrong.

I hate highly opinionated people. Devrant seems to be full of them.

I seriously believe this is why people like AlexDelarge left. Sooo many punchable motherfuckers up in this bitch man.

"Fucking leave then" ----> go fuck yourself. This platform is great. Some of y'all are great. Having frustrated virgins lurking around does not mean that all of us that like fucking around in here needs to leave.

If your issue is not on StackOverflow and you can't find it on the web:

Go another way, you're probably doing something very wrong!

(I have solved many problems remembering this)

diploma || certificate == "I am somehow warranted to write shit and get away with it"
## WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS FUCKING WORLD?!!!!

Hello @Everyone! , this is my first rant.

I feel very related to a lot of stuff going on here, thought nobody shared my ideas, but I was wrong!

Nice meeting you, se habla español and 日本語　:)

Me: ya hi, we integrated with your API and I'm receiving error x
Provider: ok we'll disable validation, plz check
Me: ya it works, what's the problem? I used a GUID for id and I'm sure it's unique, here is URL and request body
Provider: you have something wrong in your implementation. Fix it and it will work
Me: aaand what's the wrong part of my implementation?
Provider: id is not unique, fix it. *Hangs up*

I sometimes sit and wonder, how and why does this kind of people get hired, FOR FUCK SAKE YOU ARE THE PROVIDER AND YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG!
fucking useless ...

The best part about solving problems in code is there is no one right answer.

Except for this. This is clearly the wrong way. This is garbage and you are a garbage person for writing it. This code you wrote is the reason your own children will never love you.

Am I the only one who thinks this type of "diversity hire" is absolutely wrong?

"Git is hugely over complicated and dangerous - what on earth is wrong with Subversion?"

"Ah. Allow me to sit you down - this could take a while..."

About to install Visual Studio 2017 using my barely 5 Mbps internet

Install size is ~ 30fuckingg7 GB! 😨

Something gotta be seriously wrong with this world if it gets installed without any troubles.

Pray for me

This is not wrong. 🤣

"Shouldn't be a problem. I can get <insert new feature here> implemented by <insert wildly optimistic time>. "

What is wrong with me?! Why do I keep doing this!?

So This is how you spell column in Java 😂

10 out of 10 would recommend going to collage 😁

(Spelled wrong deliberately)

My boss...

With `Back-End` he understands `the Dashboard`. The system that is used only from company's employees.

`Front-End`, the software that is used by our customers.

I have explained him many times that he was wrong, but he seems to use this term. And now I have to use these terms like him.

Today in school...
X: My favourite language is python.
Y: Dumb? Java is the best!!
Z: I loce C#, it's easy!

Whats wrong in this dialog? Z said C++++ instead of C# ......

My fellow coworker dev just sent a staging site link to our CFO to review some new functionality...

CFO clicks on our corporate HQ link in coworker's email signature instead and berates coworker for sending him the wrong link...

This person is somewhat largely in charge of making decisions that affect our digital marketing, website budgets, and strategy.

I can't make this shit up.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU APPLE?! THATS A SIXTH OF MY MOBILE DATA! WHERE IS THIS MUCH USAGE COMING FROM?????

Starting to think that something is wrong with this "el cheapo" tablet...

Someone talk to me while I am busy.

Him: I think this table is in the wrong place.
Me:... Excuse me, I didn't hear you, what did you say?
Him: it's in the wrong place..

WHAT is in the wrong place motherfucker.. I didn't hear the whole sentence.. what the shit..

Someone else or it's just me?

The FCC Chairman is going ahead with his plan to repeal net neutrality despite objections from fellow commissioners, the CTO, more than a hundred members of Congress, senators and of course, the people.

What the fuck is wrong with this guy? How far up your own fucking ass does your head have to be to ignore basically everyone's vote against you? What the fuck. This guy is a really piece of fucking work. I hope this bounces back to bite him in the ass real hard.

Why the fuck do people go to so much trouble to justify what they did instead of just admitting they were wrong?

The way I handle this type of people is to first ask a straightforward like "X implies Y, right?" If they answer "yes" I say "then this here isn't right" and watch them go around the world to find a justification for it not being wrong.

I interchanged my space-bar key with my delete key.

I think this is one of those many times everyone is wrong and am right

Applying to internships today and I see this

“
Job type: Internship

Requirements:
- Atleast 2 years of professional experience as a software engineer
- ...
“

Wtf is this????

Why does an intern need 2 years of professional experience?

Isn’t an intern supposed to be an entry level job?

Am I wrong in thinking this is crazy?

This maybe not related.
Since the Dutch population is active in here, I have a question.

Today I was touring around Haarlem, it's a beautiful city but there's this green phone booths stack statue in the city, I loved everything i saw today about it, but still I don't understand why is e=mc2 written wrong "e=cm2" ?

So I just wanted to log back into windows. Typed in the password. Wrong password...
Then I tried being super accurate while typing and also checked keyboard layout, etc. Still, wrong password.
Then I noticed that the letter p is not working. Shit, keyboard seems to be broken.
On screen keyboard -> p is not working...

What the hell? What kind of error is this?

NT Kernel code has to be something like this:
if(timeSinceLastError > someValue)
keyboard.p.enable = false;

I guess you could also replace the keyboard error with some random error.

If you encounter this, restart Windows.

me: hey prof, i dont know why this is wrong
*points out where its wrong*
prof: hmmm let me see
prof: u see its wrong here. thats why it doesnt work
*points at the exact same thing i pointed out*

"THIS PAGE IS UNDER CONSTRUCTION."
- local webdesigner in my neighbor city - for over a year now. They must be slower than me or plan a page that is complexer than the apple site.

Do I actually need this shit? I mean: really. Why?
If you relaunch, just leave your old one up. If you buy an domain and have nothing on it (and no google index) - who even bothers seeing this shit?

Correct me if I'm wrong.

Been programming Java for a few weeks now, and WTF is this, Java?!
"Example".equals("Example")

What is wrong with the form that a dozen of other languages use?
"Example" == "Example"

P. S. If you don't know Java, the latter one compares for the type of objects and always returns true in this case.

This rings true even if the customer is internal. Built a feature and provided documentation on how to use it and one of the end users still used it wrong.

It was a simple validation process too. Input the member ID then click validate, the app then checks if the person is in the system and fills in some other fields and does some other backend stuff. How could you get that wrong?! 🤔

- The PDF you are sending is wrong - said the boss.
- Why? -
- Client says that it is not complete. -
I check the pdf, nothing missing.
- I don't understand -
- The client only sees a part of it, this corner -
- Client should zoom out pdf reader -

curl some.url

Can't connect to server.

Try some.url on the browser

It works.

curl some.url

Can't connect to server.

Google the problem

"Maybe you got the URL wrong"

(Sigh. Perhaps it's a firewall thing.)

Switch to tethering

Can't connect to server.

(This is going to be a long day.)

if something is too easy in life, you're probably doing it wrong.

NO STRUGGLE. NO PROGRESSION. IN THIS LIFFFÉE.

I am mad at myself. Angry at myself. Frustrated at myself.

For clinging onto this nothingness.
Being a coward to let things go.
Unable to give up.

It's all so tiring.
So so tiring.

For a nobody, there is nothing wrong with leaving this world as I came.

try {
// something
} catch (SomeException e) {
}

Swallowed Exception.. what the fuck is wrong with you?! And I see this shit in a lot of places in the code!

Just asked something on stackoverflow.
Has been 15min already. And still no downvote and no comment saying “fuck off”

Today is a good day.
🙃

Sorry for wrong tag. This ain’t a rant. I was just thinking “so? -> rant”

That moment when you make a brilliantly profound comment to the team, then turn around and realise they're not in the room. Even on realising this, I say "Oh you're not there" OUT LOUD. What is wrong with me?!

A man's best friend is a Martini when you realize the college semester begins again at your birthday, and you're turning 29 that month with a year left before graduation. Fuck college. FML.

Yes, I'm writing this after having 3 martinis. My code can't pawsibbly go wrong tonight. Being a little tipsy is awwwwweeesome. :D

"We don't use a VCS like git, what are you opinions on this?" This is great in my opinion. You get to see some people sheepishly agree and say it's fine and try back it up, or people put valid points why they think it's wrong. You can start to gauge a person's personality after a few of those kinds of questions.

Why isn't this working? I've wrote this same type of code at least 1000 times. Why must there always a problem? Literally every time I try and get something done there is always some stupid error and it's PISSING ME OFF. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH MY BRAIN AN...oh...I misspelled "fucntion"

We just had a big drama because our team leader discovered 2 of our projects use 79 character line limit. He changed it to 80 and reformatted all the code.

What is wrong with this world?

So I am assigned to a new team to take over the leading position because the guy who did it up till now quit. And there is this guy who today seriously shared his screen with my boss and the rest of the team to point out that I formatted something wrong...

Realy it was something like
super.doFunctionA().thenFunctionB() instead of putting it like
super
.functionA()
.functionB()

He said he wanted to call me out early to avoid spreading of this "wrong formatting"

He wants to start a war? This fuckhead can have it!
Soon I will be the one who writes his tasks... hf

Issue reporter:
Feed from external service provider is overwriting the wrong things, pls fix

Resolution:
Service provider is sending duplicate unique IDs, you need to get with them to discuss

Service provider response:
This is a *RE-USABLE UNIQUE ID* . . . The bottom line is you should not use this UNIQUE ID as a primary key.

seagull management
| ˈsēˌɡəl manijmənt | noun

When managers are totally uninvolved in the work, but they just swoop down once in a while to shit all over everything. “This is wrong, and this, and this looks bad,” etc., before flying away again.

My first programming experience was in highschool. Within two months I was a better programmer than my teacher.

This just indicates that the people who hire programming teachers need to know what programming is before hiring the wrong person.

depression is caused when you focus on the wrong things

focos on the right thing. The thing that makes your spirit fly instead of drown.

remember this.

User: This web page form is too hard to use and is prone to have wrong data filled out.

Me: Uh...ok. Here is a redesign. You literally fill out one text field and a date picker.

User: Oh this is great, thanks.

*checks the database and the very first entry they created had the wrong date.*

Fuck me.

The company I'm working at is treating interns like full timers while not actually paying them that much. I've been working as a full timer, doing similar tasks, working alone and without mentorship since I joined. This feel so wrong!

This rant is not about avoiding bad company but instead: If you find your self in a bad company make sure to note what is bad in terms of:
1. What is wrong?
2. Is it wrong by your book or by everyone's book?
3. How things should be done if you were in charge?
4. Are you able to be productive if those "wrong" things where done correctly? For example if they should have used gitlab cli for auto deployment, do you know how to do that? No? Learn. Yes? Move to the next item in the list

There is no way to avoid bad companies unless you are really lucky, just make the best out of where you are now :)

Providing a web site to pay electricity and other services, but guess what? THE CONNECTION IS NOT SeCuRe !! (What can possibly can go wRoNg).
This retarded country have a lot of skilled people, but the dinosaurs who in charge are literally afraid of new technology.
Wake up bitches, it's almost 2020

My managers are getting micro managed, is it wrong to feel good about this?

Ordered a takeout wok/poke this evening from a new place. The only thought after tasting - what kind of junior made this....? I hope I write code better than he cooks food.

It looks like what it's supposed to look
it smells as it should
it has all the ingredients

but the taste is just... Not right.

I takes special skill to make it so wrong!

This was when I was pursuing my bachelors degree. One of the professors was of the opinion that only her code was right and anything else is wrong! For example if she did something with a for loop and I did the same with a while loop, my answer would be wrong -_- What the hell -_-

(Also, often her code would be wrong too and sometimes wouldn't even compile.. She used Notepad btw)

Is it normal for seniors to talk to juniors with disrespect if they made something wrong in code?
this is my first time job ever and I feel like this behavior is so weird honestly.

Lead-Dev: "These links don't work as they should, I'm having you fix them, 'kay?"
Me: "I'll have a look."
> The link doesn't do anything when you click on it.
My internal monologue: (The href is probably just wrong)
> It's not wrong.
Me: "What the fuck?"
Lead-Dev: "Can you fix it?"
Me: "I don't think I can."
Lead-Dev: "Why don't you try looking in thisScript.js?"
Me: "Oh, you think the click event got prevented or something?"
Lead-Dev: "No, I think something went wrong with what that script is doing with the jQuery library this site uses."
Me: "..."
Lead-Dev: "..."
Me: "jQuery... library...?"

I just tried playing with Sqlmap (since I'm currently free of tasks at work), then tried using it on a university's site. I realized those fuckers stored html tags in their database. What the fuck is wrong with people these days?! This is fucking HTML and it belongs on the front end alone. Fuck!

Client told me that they have two workers with very similar names (one letter difference) and customers constantly send emails to the wrong person because of this.

She asked me if there is anything I could do to fix this?

What the hell am I supposed to do? Tell one of them to get their name changed?

This senior dev of mine is so good that he always reminds me to finish the bugs and yeah, fixed it, and sent the codes to him. The hell's wrong with him is that he hasn't upload the codes i sent to him.

me: i dont wanna get out of bed to check the code, i feel so comfy and lazy

me: *after 10 mins* dammit, need to change this, need to change that, its still fucked up, why is this wrong *codes more*

Okay, here's a rant for you: neo fucking vim and their fucking wrapper plugins for wrapper plugins for wrapper plugins for plugins "tHat'S wRitTen in LOWAA". The fuck is wrong with you, you fucking dumpshits?! Bram was right to not get involved in this bullshit!!

A hacker wiped some git repos and is asking for ransom in bitcoins. What a shitshow. I'm telling you this guy is messing with the wrong people!

The root cause as reported was weak passwords and unremoved tokens.

So if anyone has visited slant.co they will know the website is overrun with this shit...

What the flying fuck is wrong with these people?

Developers that prefer to play the asshole card because it is easier than going through the trouble of acting like a normal person and lose a chunk of their time.

I come across this more and more: if I have a conversation with a random stranger at an event, and we touch upon a new thing that neither one of us knows about or whatever, there is this sudden cut off when one stops the conversation and leaves, rather than staying and keep on exploring the subject and risk of saying something stupid.

Am I just in the wrong place talking to the wrong people?
Or is there some developer budget your time manual that I haven't heard about?

You are all wrong. This is why it happened.

We are not ready, I won't sign on this shit I said!

Release on Friday, what could go wrong? All unit tests passed they said!

It's Tuesday and shit is still broken!

FML

SDK’s API’s TODO’s ...

Is anyone else allergic to the wrong use of apostrophes instead of the plural form? I see this everywhere.

"I hope we can soon finish X to do Y", you might think this is the more polite way of asking "are we there yet?", but you're wrong and you're getting blocked for the next 4 days

Nicholas, tf is wrong with you?
You will see why I am slightly shocked by this in the first comment.

I'm working on a banking app (Android) and I thought: "This is a bank. An important one. They will surely have a good IT department! It will be a joy to work with them"...

Never have I been so wrong!

Being told code is "production ready" only to find this:
if name == 'foo' or name == 'bar' or name == 'someothershit'
What's wrong with:
if name in ['foo','bar', 'someothershit']?

Oh and they had 10 different values they were matching, not just 3. What kind of joker am I dealing with?

Just came across this gem. What's wrong with it??

Yes, the threat of SQL injection here is a legit response, but in this particular case that's not the answer I'm looking for.

Hint: This method gets called a lot!

Sometimes I think "I should write a meaningful error message for this exception" and then i remember how useless 99% of the error messages of every compiler / interpreter I've ever had to use and decide "msg ='something went wrong'" is good enough.

*literally any arithmetic operation which is hideously wrong*
Almost every JS dev : Is this JavaScript?

I've officially entered my 30s.
I ate food the wrong way and my entire left torso hurts.

Yeah .... this is how it starts isn't it

AAAAAH why does array_filter in php not readjust indexes after removing elements holy fuck what the fuck is wrong with this language

"This application has stopped working. Oops, something went wrong." Proprietary software, no error message, only option is to accept your fate or submit a report to your system overlords

While parsing nodes in a graph.
In terms of readability and variable naming, how wrong (if at all) is to use:
1. broNode (for sibling nodes)
2. papaNode / mamaNode (for parent nodes)
3. babyNode (for child nodes)

I sincerely don't know how to review this PR

Like who the fuck uses tables anymore for websites. like Fuck. what the fuck is wrong with this company. then uses InDesign to make the websites and slices the images in Photoshop. this isn't the fucking stone ages. upgrade your shit. fucking design team wanna be responsive but fucking to lazy. so I have deal with their shit. when they complain about fucking image Sizes. I fucking hate this company.

When it comes to nervewrecking situations, what I've encountered so far is a pull request for which the 2 reviewers had opposite opinions.
Something like this:
* opens pull request *
reviewer 1: "update using approach A"
* updates code *
reviewer 2: "this is wrong, change to approach B"
* updates code again *
reviewer 1: "this isn't what i asked for, i'm rejecting your PR"
Oh, also, each of them had their own set of coding standards.

What was your most challenging situation when writing code?

A meeting to redefine the definition of done. Which a "senior" programmer threw in.

3 hours after we are still there to "define"... All of this because this developer and a couple more want to keep a physical board which has no space for a "testing" section, so the tasks need either to be done-but-not-really and this is technically wrong (who cares?) or in-progress-but-not-really which is technically wrong (again, who cares?).

Just effin find a bigger board and don't waste 3 hours of my life and/or start thinking pragmatically and accept tasks can move backwards or have a ticket saying "testing" stuck to them, ffs!

The funny part? This dev is probably one of the grumpiest devs I met when you talk about meetings which are actually useful.

Fuck you Android Studio. You just prompted me to update, and now are saying The project is using an unsupported version of Gradle. Why the fuck did you not update Gradle (whatever the shit it is) yourself?

What was wrong with Eclipse? Why the fuck Google decided to move to this piece of crap?

Is it wrong that I posted this on LinkedIn? Can any of you truly say that it was wrong?

There is this docker guy in our enterprise.
Always, he is told there is a challenge in software operations, he brings up the solution "move it into a docker container and the challenge won‘t be a challenge anymore".

........

Don‘t get me wrong.

I love to use docker as a technology to host my apps.
But for me it is not the golden hammer technology which cures all dread diseases on this planet.

Sometimes it is just overhead for the solution of small challenges.

So i I got confused on how xor works and fucked up the whole interview
That is after writing all code correctly

I wrote the truth table wrong
I am doing this for 7 years now how can I make this mistake ☠️ fml

Anyone else feel this 50/50 male/female work melarky is just silly. Most programmers are men. It shouldn't be more complex then that. Most beautitions are women. Nothing wrong with work being gender dominated... imo

Calling for a meeting to talk about things that delayed the project and these idiots can't acknowledge the fact that such stupid meetings played a huge role. This is the 10th meeting this month. WTF is wrong with y'all.
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Who is that genius at Microsoft thought about that if adding a new email to outlook on Android and credentials are wrong, CLOSE THE WINDOW AND GO BACK TO SETTINGS!!

Error message says wrong username/password then let me fucking fix them not go back and enter everything from scratch (outgoing, incoming servers, username, password)

Fuck this shit -_-

Comment on a code review:
How does this relate to the task?
Me:
Most of the changes have nothing to do with the task, but half of the code & build system was either wrong, broken or not following best practices. This particular change is because something was broken.

*random person in tram witha huge backpack* let's stand in the middle of the fking door, with my backpack towards the door so I clearly can't see if anyone is trying to get into the tram.

What the fuck is wrong with you? There is tons of space and even seats free what the actuall fuck just move along already! Jeez. What's wrong with people! At least stand at the side or something.
That's a new kind of shit. Don't get to see this every day.

How to make me not want to
ever contribute to you:

'Please read and sign this CLA'

( Also telling me that shit only whenI try
opening a PR, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU )

When QA keeps on filing bug but you go and check and it's a feature.
No. Seriously IT IS a feature.
Like c'mon! I told you it is a feature. Go and check sys req!
What is wrong with this world? >.<

What the heck is wrong with these recruiters? You have a good facebook group with rules that states not to post ads or job listings. Then this headhunter just joins and ignoring the rules start pointing their job posts. What's worse is they are even posting unrelated programming languages. This ain't a people farm scumbags!

Devops is so fucking dodgy. Wasted hours trying to find out what the fuck is wrong only to find out i put `|` (pipe) instead of `\` (backslash) by accident. This is the next generation of semicolons

Fuck off

My router bit the dust last night... so I bought a new one that is a bit faster. I was getting about 30 mbps with wifi on my old one, this is what I am getting on my new one. I should add that I thought I was only paying for 150 mb connection, I guess i was wrong :)

I just hate wordpress. Whenever I have to touch it, makes me nervous.

This time I just have to put some html/css. I was thinking it's piece of cake.
Couldn't be more wrong. This fucker is adding extra tags to my code fucking up what made...

WTF is wrong with Manjaro, every package I install gets "error while loading shared libraries". VSCode, chromium, even yaourt?! I mean this just doesn't even fucking work.

I downgraded my kernel and now I get the same errors and when I -Syu, I get a thousand "Warning: x is newer than y"

Linux.

Just found this on Reddit
"I used to think that everybody should learn programming. When I first started learning –thinking about how to organize the world in terms of data structures and algorithms– I thought, "Wow, this is such an amazing way to organize information. Everybody should learn to do this!"

I don't think that anymore.

I think there has to be something seriously wrong with you in order to do this work. A normal person, once they’ve looked into the abyss, will say, “I’m done. This is stupid. I’m going to do something else.” But not us, ‘cause there’s something really wrong with us."
Douglas Crockford

Android is fucking fucked up.

Why the fuck it takes so much of time to build. And trust me,

React + Android is the worst combination. Can't even understand what the fuck it is trying to say?

And sometimes, no body knows what is wrong with something. Seriously look at the picture, that's the solution sent by the Android lead.

Did you realize the repeatedly at the end. 🦆 What try 🦆 dude.

Fuck. I'm ain't gonna work on this after this project.

Me today: Damn it's gonna take forever to find where this issue is, but at least then I'll know.

-me narrows it down to 5 lines-

Tonight me staring at lines: Oh fuck... there's nothing actually 'wrong' here...

Forget it, i'm going to bed.

Eclipse and it's fuckery!

Shows error/warning on random line. Don't know what's wrong, coz nothing is! Select all, cut and paste the selection on the same page and save again. Woof! Errors gone! Dafuq Eclipse? What sorcery is this bitch?

Today a co-worker (I am going to call him 'boss') ask to another co-worker (I am goin to call it 'useless piece of shit' or 'ups') to explain to me a new task, becaus boss was to bussy with a new release for a client.

Idk how but ups managed to explain all wrong, like terribly wrong.

Ups: "Dev, all you have to do is fix some queries from local files"

Dev: "Ok, seems legit"

Try the local files, nothing happend

Dev: "weird... ups why this is happening?"

Ups: "I know the same as you, ask boss."

Dev: "boss this."

Boss: "what the actual what? ... this is all wrong. The config file is in mongo, in this IP, we don't use local files anymore. I tell ups to explain this to you so I can atay focused on this other task, but now I lost the double amount of time"

Dev: "oh... sorry, I will fix the remote queries"

I hate ups, every fucking time soneone need something from him this happend or worst...

So, this is apparently how you concatenate a list of Strings or should I say cities 😉 (with a delimiter between each element but excluding the last one)

I wish my esteemed colleague at least had decency to hide the fact he copied it from SO 😭

Question: what's wrong with this code❓

Can somebody please tell me What is wrong with Microsoft and their broken piece of shit software?! (sorry to any Microsoft devs, if you read this). How the hell is it that their fucking installer and system repair features is this fucking useless? "Sorry, can't install on disk 0,cause the disk is in gpt format" NO SHIT, you were the fucking asshole who formatted it from the begining. Douchebag.

Just had the worst exam of my life today in system development at my university. This cock sucking bitch of a sensor claimed I was wrong in various assumptions about Extreme Programming. Such as: saying XP is an incremental process and not iterative. Claiming UP is more iterative than XP and that various analogies about what iterative means compared to incremental was wrong and even disrupting me while I was talking. Mind you I've been studying these subjects closely the last week and have been reading most of The Pragmatic Programmer to verify various things she disagreed upon. Result grade? In the middle of the fucking scale. Fuck this shit. I'm just glad the grade won't appear on my final graduation papers. And yes, I'm a perfectionist when it comes to this and programming, so if I'm in the wrong please correct me.

What the hell is wrong with the browser on iOS....
For Christ sakes almost no input attributes work. I have a Sign Up feature that validates passwords with a pattern attribute; doesn't work, required attribute; doesn't work, input type number; doesn't work.
What the fuck is wrong with this thing. Even Internet Explorer knows what those attributes means. Absolute joke now i need to implement it manually. Fuck off apple.

Man I fucking love debugging Windows applications... OpenVPN dun shit the bed because the management interface is locked (on the Windows client I presume?) - so poke that error message into the Gargler along with "openvpn windows"... First result, OpenVPN forums. Excellent. ... Some dickhead in the forums: "this is the wrong forum, this is for Access-Server users, and you the user MUST have terminated the process".

Come fucking on! If only I could replace this fucking device with a proper OS already (and no I can't). Windows itself being a clusterfuck is one thing but the goddamn support around it. Atrocious!

What the fuck is wrong with people!?
When I produced somewhaz high quality Videos, Ive gotten like 10-20 views a day...
Now... I made A FUCKING 10H EDIT OF SOME GUY SAYING SHIT AND SHIT AND SHIT... AND I MADE 181 FUCKING VIEWS IN A SINGLE FUCKING DAY!!

FUCK THIS.

Ah yes i also love not having a meeting before our first sprint because 'there is nothing to talk about yet'. I see absolutely no way this could ever go wrong.

WTF Is wrong with Kotlin! Every fucking time I upgrade its Android Studio plugin i receive loads of errors about: Type mismatch: inferred type is FragmentActivity? but FragmentActivity was expected

for fucks sake bitch! Why the hell you keep on switching from optional to non optional on every fucking update, my commit history is full of this type of fixes -_-

When you want to ++ a rant or follow a dev but the page refreshes and the post you saw pisses off into the nether-sphere. I can’t avoid this on any social media. What is wrong with me.

Well I noticed one thing here.

You write any post regarding coding, bad management, juniors or whatever shit, this community welcomes you
But you dare to put wrong tag or category, all are like where the fuck is report button? can I dislike this post bla bla..

Why so with wrong tag

I finally got the refurbished laptop I ordered and..
wrong CPU, wrong number of cores
wrong GPU
only 1 USB port, I bought 3
battery is DOA

fuck aaa_pcs at ebay. they better replace this with what I bought or imma call Karen to talk to their manager

maybe I should check for spyware/backdoors/etc while I'm at it just because I'm pissed.

any suggestions? nothing is too petty if it doesn't void warranty

So the new guy convinces my employer that he is a Machine Learning Expert. Nothing is wrong until He even convinces my employer that he can do Machine Learning with HTML (<==== is not a Programming Language); This is the time my IQ instantly dropped to ```Patrick Star```.

Sometimes code is correct but so wrong. Came across this in a kotlin PR today

If (thing != null && thing!!.field != null) {

When having to fix parts from an other programmer's code, do NOT concentrate on the small code expected to be wrong, instead read and understand the whole program around it!

Best practice:
1) Why is this code here
2) What does this code do
3) How does the code solve the problem

(just happened to me 😅)

How about a Git for Databases?
Do your changes, delete things, create things, and then when you are sure push these changes to your server.
If you did something wrong like accidentally delete fucking everything, just revert and everything is like before again.
Also you can view history and blame people for doing something wrong.

Tell me what you think about this. Not clue how you could implement this tho... Also I have enough to do already so feel free to take this idea!

git stash pop'd on wrong branch, hadn't realized it until after a bunch more work. Then continued screwing things up and unit tests are failing.

This is not a good coding day.

I hated the detailed, shadow-y icons that Windows 10 implemented a while back.

Now CopyApple is using them too...

Am I just crazy? Am I wrong about this new design trend being total ass?

Also: Apple literally copying everything now huh.

I got yet another scammer calling me, this time it's something wrong with my computer LOL calling from Microsoft.

I flat out said this:

OH so you're a scammer right? Because there is nothing wrong with my PC.

I know I was supposed to post the other number on 4chan, but where exactly would I do so? there are so many categories and I'm new to 4chan
The guy hung up immediately!

Here ya go: 05967175950 bastard deserves to go to jail scamming normal PC users out of their information!

"Hey, don't promote yourself - where I'm trying to promote myself... ok? Have some respect."

OMFG...

What the fuck is wrong with you fucking morons. This is the INTERNET.

IT IS FOR SHARING THINGS.

Just because you feel special / doesn't mean - anything.

This isn't YOUR soapbox. And even if it was... look at your feet you dumb fuck. You are the one standing on it.

Is it just me or is GitHub Copilot having a stroke the last couple of days?
Usually it's amazing but lately it's been getting variable names, indentation, parentheses and more wrong.
It just wrote a line that is indented with 446 spaces xD
If this is some A/B testing, I want to join the other group pls.

boss: numbers being aside. Why is this happening 40% of the time.

me: (thinking) wtf what an idiot. wtf do you think?!

type: (politely) Well the number being wrong suggests it's *not* happening 40% of the time.

I don't know who I hate more, myself for not point out how dumb that question is. or the person asking the question.

When you're not confidant enough in your own code ... but you should be:

Me: "Why the hell is this duplicating data?!?!?!"

-time passes-

-figures it out-

Me: Wait that returns an error wouldn't that be ...

Yeah there was an error on the god damn screen in the status box I created telling me what was going wrong but I just ignored it... I was knee deep in code and my own UI was telling me what was wrong ;)

Me : *insert random name here* .js is a sign you are lazy devs.
My Friend : Meh, this is just side project. Only to try it out.
Me : You still can do that fast in plain js tho.

Also Me Sometimes later:

MF : whacha tryna' do?
Me : gonna deploy this app real quick.
MF : what js framework do you use ?
Me : Yes.

God something's wrong with me. Fucking hell.

I think something is wrong with this build...

I think this is wrong

Why is installing the C/C++ compiler and build tools such a pain in the arse on windows? Just wanted to use the spacy package which uses CPython now I have to install gigabytes of shit and move some dlls and exes around just so I can install the fucking package. What the fuck is wrong with this shit.

I hate Mondays. I hate Mondays even more if everything went wrong. F**k this day. Tomorrow is a new one.

1) is it wrong if i write comments with bad words

2) is it unprofessional if i write a comment "//this shit needed to be wrapped wtih an if statement of target != null so the fucking bullshit dont fking crash no more"

?

Spot what's wrong with this command!

It took me 10 minutes scratching head to find it out. This is why we still need to use our brain when copy paste-ing code.
😕

"What is going on... this should work?!
Is my maths wrong?
My maths is wrong...
Oh no!
It's a model view projection matrix?!
I'm shit if I'm failing at this, it's 3D dev 101!
I got a first class degree... I don't deserve any of this or this job!!"

<2 seconds later>

uniforms.viewMatrix.set(camera.matrixWorldInverse.elements);
uniforms.viewMatrix.set(camera.projectionMatrix.elements);

"You set the same uniform twice you tool, due to copy and paste..."

Imposter syndrome in my early days put myself into a roller coaster of emotions. I always compared myself to others to the detriment of myself.
Thankfully overcame that working with some great guys.

But yeah, coding has impacted life for the best though. The challenge, creativity and constant learning is beautiful.

Guy: Hey you know computers right
Me: sure

This guy takes his computer apart during class and wants me to see what it wrong with it. I'm like dude what the heck the Professor is teaching! Freaking crazy.

So I just bought an Intel Optane SSD for my PC, and then this came up...
"Intel® Optane™ Arbeitsspeicher unterstützt keine auf PCIe-Festplatten installierten Systeme"
or in English:
"Intel® Optane™ RAM doesnt support Systems installed on PCIe-Harddrives"
LIKE WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU INTEL! I JUST BOUGHT THIS SHIT AND NOW YOU FUCKING TELL ME IT DOESNT FUCKING WORK BECAUSE I HAVE A FUCKING M.2 SSD WITH WINDOWS ON IT? WHATS WRONG WITH YOU ASSHOLES! FUCK THIS!

I was reviewing a Pull Request recently and there was this line
`return josn(202, 'Record does not exists')`

I told the developer that, status code and description does not match.
He just did not want to accept that he was wrong and told me that, since this function is not exposed to public, it does not matter.

Whats wrong in accepting that you are wrong. We do make mistakes, consciously or unconsciously. Huur. I regretted reviewing his codes there after.

If you need workarounds and tricks to make your computer obey you, your operating system is trash. MacOS, Windows, I’m looking at you. This is indisputable.

Instead of defending that crap, just admit it. You did nothing wrong. You was forced to use it, because I understand that not every piece of software can run on Linux. Perhaps you earn money using Photoshop or any other Adobe software. There’s nothing wrong with it. You don’t become a baby-eating trash supporter billyboy if you’re just using an OS.

Perhaps you like macOS UI better than KDE or Epiphany. There’s nothing wrong with it either.

But please don’t defend trash just because you use it for one reason or another. Admit it to yourself and say “yes, the OS I use is a piece of crap that doesn’t respect users, but right now I’m forced to use it because of the software I make a living with”. This is the only non-traumatic way to start defending your rights.

Peace

What is wrong with Stackoverflow mods and so called seasoned users? Why is everyone in such a rush to close questions and point you to other questions which has no relevance.

Once they do this, is just over. Explaining why they are wrong makes no diff. And you can't just repost. The question is just dead.

Genuinely think they should just burn in hell. Sick a holes. If you're not interested in answering or helping at least stay out of people's business.

Looking for the correct download button is like defusing a bomb.

Click the wrong one and *BOOM*

Hello Ads!

(For those who're still struggling with this. Hover your pointer on the download button and check if the url it leads to is legit.)

The most frustrating thing while I edit a file on Github directly is pressing home/end key. They're not related to lines but page.

This is the problem with most of the online textboxes/editor.

Am I doing something wrong? Is there any other shortcut

Fucking Django is the only project thaat claims to be for perfectionist but actually is a steaming pile of spaghetti code, data transfer objects, configuration objects and useless wrappers and shit. I mean this shits made by adults with computer science degrees how the fuck can they get that shit so wrong?

Me after a long time without coding:
"I need to do this thing multiple times,shit how do I do this??"
After a few seconds of hard thinking:
"Loop exists...wtf is wrong with me.."

This is what happens when it's late at night and you've been staring at something for too long... someone had to point out to me that I actually added the wrong permission :/

How do you know when it is time for a break?

transition: color 0.5em linear;

When you cannot figure out what is wrong with this transition...

Me, expressing my concern in an email to my boss, cc'ing their boss: [thing we are planning to do] is extremely likely to go wrong and at this point it is literally a health risk for me.
Reply:i hope the risk of your health is moderate, and we're going to do it on a friday do you can recover on saturday.
WHAT? Why do I even keep up with this brazenly way to treat people?