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Search - "bag"
Best co-worker quitting story?
"T" I've refereed to in previous rants knew he was close to being fired, so he jumped ship. 'T' sent the usual "I'll miss you guys" email to the department, except me (and a few others that didn't fall for his BS and not scared of him). His mistake was he sent the email out a day early (buddy forwarded me the email) and left the stuff (box of pics, books, etc) he planned on taking with him. One item in particular was a new company provided laptop bag, which technically wasn't his to keep (supposed to leave/turn-in any company provided equipment), so I grabbed the bag and hid it.
The next day I heard him slamming drawers (looking for the bag) and a loud cursing. Other devs peeking over the walls asking what's wrong.
Dev1: "Dude, what's up? Whatcha' looking for?"
T: "Nothing...fuck!...damn it...nothing...assholes...fucking assholes!"
Dev2: "Who's the ass? What's wrong?"
Dev3: "Need help looking for something?"
T: "No..no...nothing...I'm fine...making sure I don't forget anything."
'T' never found out who took the bag and I've had that laptop bag underneath my desk ever since.5
I keep a bag of cookies at my desk that contain rum. I only eat one whenever i get asked a really dumb question. (See my last rant)
On my way to become permanently drunk at work!6
Me; Develops website. Website is done.
Client; we want an english version as well!
Me; implements english version.
Client; we want to go live but without the english version for now
*Fkc gmfbl gdddmn*4
Sometimes my boss wants me to fire a bullet without a gun, they want me to throw the bullet so hard that it feels like it was shot via a gun.
Maintaining a legacy app sucks so bad when you don't even have the full codebase and some douche bag decided to just randomly throw the codebase on the fucking SVN. 😠1
So, I'm a veteran. I served in the Army as an information system operator/analyst. Glorified help desk, set up some equipment in the field, a few other small things. But I can make fun of vets, other branches, and those serving. I've paid my dues, and they're OK with it. Hell, they all do it too. But you have to be a vet or currently serving.
I feel like that with tech too. My buddies and I call each other geeks/nerds all the time. I get annoyed (read as pissed off) when someone from the outside does it.
I got an email from a recruiter that said something along the lines of "..basically a bunch of really smart nerds building software..." What the actual fuck? Go eat an entire bag of dicks, and choke on every single one.12
Quited my Job.
So... How to spend half a salary in a day...
Go to the shrink after like 3 years of not completing my burn out treatment.
Btw been having health problems lately, incapacitating stuff.
Got so many medication that im using a grossery bag.
Also had to quit my job... I just can't work can barely think, have no strength and a pressure in my head all day.
Now.. I was a temp, working in shifts on a shitty badly paid job, so fk it. 3 weeks down time, then I just quitted...
Now, on my parents house, getting 1 day of sick leave means a person doesn't want to work... How am I gonna tell them that I quitted... Lol
A few years ago I had to ear stuff like your lazy and don't want to work up to the day I got couth trying to cut my wrists... And I'm against suicide.
Now I dont know if I should hope my recent health problems are burn out related or not... Because some of the other possibilities are quite bad... I mean worst.
Can't think, fealing depressed because I hate to not be able to give 100%... And I just keep looking at my CNC machine... Finnaly got enough pieces to finish my project, but I can't get the will to do so... And it's there, in front of me, the opportunity to create my own job...
I hate apples. I buy them at the grocery store. They taste bland, they don't have any smell and by eating them I don't get any positive emotions.
Well, at least this is the conclusion in my head every autumn after a year of eating store bought apples.
Then the end of autumn comes/winter begins and I visit my grandparents, who live in a village. I get a bag of apples (15-20 kgs) and this bag smells wonderful. Heck, the car smells wonderful for a few days after transporting the bag back home.
My grandparents give around 7-8 varieties of apple, mixed. Each and every one of them tastes amazing, even if I have to cut some spots out from a few. They don't always look perfect, but I think these are the noble ones and the store bought would be the peasants.
I know, it's kind of obvious, that the homegrown fruits are better, but it still amazes my tastebuds every year, plus I'm really grateful for having my grandparents.8
I think I am going to start doing lets play series for minecraft and post online. I spend a lot of time playing modpacks with my kids and I should just start recording and add audio commentary later. I can compress the video and do speedups for boring parts and cut other segments. If I create a spreadsheet for the modpack and do it by numbers then I can burn through the modpack fast. I like watching lets play series to figure out modpacks. Especially direwolf. However, these lets play episodes are a good 30 to 45 minutes long. I want to play, not watch someone else play. I hate the ones where they don't know how to do the modpack and they don't cut the video. Direwolf does a great job editing his videos. His video is FULL of good content.
If I can get the videos short enough it will keep the attention span of the mass plebes that cannot find their way out of a paper bag. This is definitely catering to the lowest denominator. I can turn my hobby into something useful. I want to try and compress the 30 minute video into 5 to 10 minutes. It will be a minecraft junky playthrough. Maybe add some time lapse stuff too.
I think I should do the playthrough first, reset server and do again with video capture. I want to incorporate comedy into the videos too. Gaming should be fun. I wonder how much space a 30 minutes video will take?6
I had a half our discussion the other day with a projectmanager about the menu. He wanted to have both inpage anchor links as well as normal links in the main navigation. I found it completely stupid and didn’t get why you would want this. It’s totally unexpected behaviour from a users perspective and tried for 30 minutes to convince him of his stupidity.
Afterwards i gave in, sure, i’ll make it your stupid way. The actual pages that are there now won’t be visible anymore but if this is what you reallllllly want: sure.
Yesterday he came with a remark: the pages that used to be there can’t be reached anymore.
Always trust your developer
We are not interested in your skills right now, but is it ok if we keep your details to maybe contact you in the future?
8/9 never hear ever from then again.
1/9 so i wasn’t good enough for you back then, and now that i have a job i am? Go f* yourself!1
Client breaks website and i’m the one trying to fix things. For two unplanned hours i’ve been trying to help and instead of a thank you i get a thanks for nothing message. I’m not responding to this client next time. Fuckn bitch2
I had a challenge this week. I had to develop a business site in less then 5 days. I’m pretty happy with the result especially since i estimated multiple weeks for a site like this.
Ofcourse the manager had to come over and complain and bitch about alignments of elements. I’m sorry dude but with this kind of abnormal time pressure you don’t have the right to complain. Period.4
I’m goin nuts here. I’m trying to build a website and everytime i think i’m finished the designer adds a little change or an extra page. Meanwhile projectmanager is asking if we can finish asap. Fuuuuuckofffff6
Following on from my thread where I got wrecked for being brain damaged, and posting about dividing by zero, it is time for round two!
Lightening round: Electric boogaloo!
Episode 3: "Glutton for punishment"
You can read that thread here if you like or skip over.
Can we divide by zero? Is there some representation where thats the case? And what are the implications if we can?
In this round Devranters, you will be challenged to determine if OP is 1. insane, 2. a genius, 3. high on mushrooms. One contestant will be eliminated. The winning team will get a bag of rice and sunscreen, while the other team will have to vote to send someone home from the island.
Heres the full rant because DR wouldn't post it for some reason:
Me: [buys couch online and chooses in store pickup]
Website: Thanks for your purchase! Due to local laws on bag fees, you are being charged for 6 bags at the price of 5 cents per bag. These are the estimated number of bags for the size of the item you purchased. You can have this fee refunded when you pick up your purchase.
Me: It’s a couch. You can’t bag that. 😵💫5
I’m already put on “support” for days if not weeks now and i’m tired of it. Give me a concrete project instead of the usual bucket of shit please!
Any non-tech hobby usually helps my coding, because relaxing breaks are far more efficient if I'm not just laying in a bean bag trying not to think about work but rather engaged in something unrelated. During the summer I was storing a really good electric guitar because the owner emigrated, so when I felt stuck I played some music. I used to play the cello in middle school but I was never really good at it nor did I care to practice properly because it felt a lot like yet another class to attend. Apparently music practice works whether you do it in one long or several short rounds as long as the total time is enough.1
Another crazy project. Just 2 pages but only 3 days to build it. And everything is custom and needs adjustments from our standard. I’m stressed as fuck!1
I recently moved to a house where my gf and me each have our separate office space. However, i’m sitting with my back to the door so whenever i’m in the zone with noise cancelling on and my gf walks in i don’t hear her. Resulting in me having a couple of almost heart attacks lately.
I have ideas about mirrors or sensors but since i’m working of three screens i din’t think it will do. The second option is ofcourse to move the desk to the other side of the room so that i’m facing the door more. But there are no power plugs.
My gf basically locks her door by sitting in front of it. Also she doesnt have a noise cancelling head set.6
I have to translate (read copy paste) a website in 8 different languages. Already busy with this for four weeks and building a doc with all parts missing. Fml3
I'm in the drive-thru of burger king
can I please get uhh whopper jr with onion rings
make it a meal so I can get a drink
no I'm not finished, that's not everything
can I please get a double whopper with no cheese
I got money so I don't care how much it cost me
so just throw in some extra fries don't make them salty
all this cheese gonna make my booty drip drip
I'm lactose intolerant I don't sip milk
if I see a sight of cheese I'm gonna trip trip
I'm gonna sit on your toilet seat, doodoo then dip
so you got my little whopper jr (i didn't forget that)
and you got my double whopper (i didn't forget that)
what about my onion rings (hold on you can sit back)
burger king, they know me now, cheese I don't want that
(grrr) and I'm getting hungry now, I know you heard that
waiting for my onion rings so I don't have to turn back
burger king don't play with me, your nuggets are so trash
nuggets taste like rabbit nipples why do you even serve that
better stop playing and just give me all of my food
either I pay you right now or leave the drive-thru
gave me the bag and then I took a bite of my food
there's cheese in my mouth, I'm gonna doodooo
I'm in the drive-thru of burger king
man they just gave me a whopper jr with hella cheese
made it a meal so yes I got my drink
but why do they put cheese on everything
they put cheese on my double whopper with no cheese
ill be taking a number two in the morning
hold on, can I please be excused for a moment
the cheese already in my body, booty farting
If Wordpress gives you a blank screen of death. Do not check with your frontend developer what’s wrong. Your frontend developer does not have a clue since this is probably backend related3
Last week was crazy. Major clients needed attention and we don’t have enough developers. How can someone not start to make mistakes.
Meanwhile mr manager runs off like he’s outta here and blaming us. Goddammit1
Couple of new colleages started last year.
Working with the new Full stack dev: Your WP site is slow? Try this new shiny CMS and just start all over!
Working with the new designer:
Can you send me the assets? Can you send me the assets? Can you also send me asset A? Can you also send me asset B?
Working with the new project manager:
So is it correct that i’m planned in for five projects today?!
Tomorrow I'm going to my first international travel, and it isn't just that, I'm also going to work there.
Am I nervous? A lit lot hehe
Am I ready for it? I'm not sure, even my bag isn't ready for it.
But I hope that everything will be alright and in the end of day, if nothing goes well, I'm gonna know that it is going to be a great experience1
The amount of meetings i had today is insane. We are discussing which text should be a label and which should be a header.
The good news is that i didn’t have competely empty batteries in my headset!