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On a break I went into a Best Buy to browse laptops. I had no intention on buying from them because they suck, but I just wanted to touch a few and look at specs. A salesman then thought it was a smart idea to approach me. Immediately, he was talking down to me about specs and asking if I needed it for email, Facebook, Instagram, and the like. I'll be honest, I am super girlie in my appearance and mannerisms. So I get it, I suppose. The big pseudo-nerd is going to help the little girl find a cute, social media laptop. He actually walked me over to a pink HP Stream lol. Sure, I like pink, but I don't want a useless paperweight of a machine. When I mentioned I need a new rig for coding, he actually chuckled and said "really?". So I replied "yes really, you presumptuous cockbag" and walked out. Needless to say, I won't be buying there.153
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practiseSafeHex’s most incompetent co-worker follow up: Candidate 1, “T”.
(For those wondering WTF I’m talking about: https://devrant.com/rants/1148190/...)
Forgot to mention something that happened with T that I find hilarious. T had a pretty profound effect on the company / team. It was a small startup, CEO + 4 of us, so we were all kinda close.
The day T was fired we decided this was too big of a moment to forget, so we created T_____ day, and to this day despite all working in different places we still meet up for drinks on October 24th to celebrate getting rid of that nut bag.2 -
This is an old rant from over 10 years ago in my first job at 19. I was tasked with turning off one of our clients email because they had left the company. Easy enough, logged into cPanel, job done. Later that day I get a phone call from the clients company asking if there was a problem with the email. No I said, everything should be fine, I did remove a 'joe.bloggs@blah.com' email address as instructed because... *reading job bag*... they had left the company. The client then said, that's my email you've turned off and hung up. Turned out he had been fired and no one told him. I felt horrible. I will always remember that conversation 😓8
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We could say I'm kind of a sticker man. (I got more unused in a bag, that's an addiction)
And yes, devrant stickers are on it, they are among the first I put on this door 😊
25 -
A software engineer was smoking...
A lady nearby asked him: "Can't you read the warnings? Smoking is injurous to health!"
He replied: "We are bothered only about errors, not warnings!"6 -
!dev
Don't drink 2 espressos as breakfast and go on a one-hour toiletless train ride.
60 minutes is a long time to frantically debate with yourself what would look weirder: Shitting in your laptop bag, or pressing your butt against the small sliding window.12 -
Acceptable places to leave your bag when you get in, in the morning:
- Under your desk
- On your desk
- Infront of your locker
- On the back of your chair
- etc.
Unacceptable, is to throw your bag behind you and to the right, so it ends up in the middle of the floor and behind my chair.
Consistent use of this space, and me tripping over it will result in 2 things:
1. I will intentionally run over your bag, back and forth until I am satisfied everything is broken.
2. I will then pickup said bag and throw it, with force, at your head.4 -
My roommate use torrent to download games,movies and series on an 8mb connection 24/7 even when he's sleeping. I a lot of times asked him nicely not to do that while I'm working or use speed limiter so it won't cause any problem for us, once in a while is okay but not every day. But people like him don't listen.
>Now i just disabled utorrent port associated with his IP every time he goes out or go to sleep. That what you get from being a self servings duche bag5 -
Dear TSA,
That laptop charger in my bag is not a bomb, you can calm down now.
Sincerely,
The guy who clearly had a laptop in an airport1 -
As I was walking to the store, I found yet another piece of evidence of nature rape (aka fucking nature by littering of harmful substances). Just like last time I brought it home for proper disposal.
But if I ever find the motherfucker who did this, I have a nice punishment for you. I'll knock you unconscious, drag you home, take your phone and desolder its battery. Then I'll strap a plastic bag around your stupid face, and put the battery in there while it's being shorted. Quickly it'll heat up and you'll start to turn blue with that little bag being your only oxygen source. And when that battery puffs, boy are you going to fucking gasp it all in. Hopefully that'll be poisonous enough to kill you on the spot. If not, I'll have some fun watching you die from oxygen deprivation. Or I'll jam that very same AA battery that you dropped down your throat - you choose.
Call me a psycho all you want, but what does that make you, whoever attempted to further fuck nature by uncaringly dropping a battery on the sidewalk? Oh and let's not mention the results of it - a heatwave that's been going on for over a month now. Thank you so much for bringing the place that you deserve to be in - hell!
13 -
When you see a semi bald man with a messy beard, bit too much belly, a dead look in the eyes that carries a pc bag.
And your first thought is "oh, a sys admin" x)7 -
Paypal Rant #2
Paypal might just be the only company with 98% of their employees being support staff because not a soul on this planet knows how to work with that fucking piece of shit of a company's service.
No really, if there was a shittiness-rating from 1-10 (10 = worst) you would have to store paypal's rating as a string or invent a new data type because no CPU could fucking work with such a big ass fucking number.
If I had to choose between Paypal and going back to manually trading physical goods/animals for stuff I would gladly choose the latter, because Paypal, go suck a bag of dicks you useless fucking shitpile of a "company".8 -
this is the state of hiring tests:
1. can you take an english sentence, and without a tutorial, write a for loop?
2. okay now write a full parser. but not in the language we want to hire you in.
also we can afford to pay you in bananas, experience, and exposure.
p.s. we also need you to do this backend test because this is a backend job even though the ad is for front end and you specified an hour ago when the interview started that you only trained for front.
on the positive side, we have a ping pong table and a bean bag chair. and a two hour commute. Think of the benefits!16 -
!dev
> Get on Deutsche Bahn train
> Train delayed
> Miss Eurostar connection (not just me, many people did too), get the next one
> Building works in Brussels Station
> Maps inaccurate
> Get lost
> Find Eurostar terminal
> Electricity failure
> Check-in suspended
> After 40min, announcement
> This train cancelled, get the next one
> Electricity fixed
> Check in, finally
> Now 2½ trains worth of people need to get on this one
> Somehow fit on train
> Lose table because family needs it (fair, but annoying)
> Train departs
> More delays due to scheduling conflict
> Arrive in Lille Europe
> Stop for 10 minutes for no reason
> Announcement: "there is an illegal passenger on board, everyone and their luggage needs to get off"
> Get off train, stand on platform for a decade
> "Who has left an orange bag on coach 18?"
> Nobody
> They bring the bag out
> It's red, not orange
> "Oh it's mine, sorry" - some woman
> Wait around for ages
> "Everybody go downstairs and go through security again"
> Go through security and passport control
> Get back on train
> Arrive at St. Pancreas
> Last train to where I live has gone
> Woohoo, I get to pay for an expensive hotel in London
> Get rail replacement bus service home
> Home 😒13 -
I have found myself more confused than a chameleon in a bag of skittles because I can't figure out why my ajax(beginform()) won't fire off any of the JS functions I write.
Did my Googles and that didn't help. Verbally abused my monitor and rubber duck, didn't help. I've got a blood sacrifice to the Javascript gods scheduled for tomorrow. Maybe that'll work.8 -
Customer: So I have operating system corruption? What does that mean?
Me: *thinks for a moment* Okay, so you have a bag of potato chips, right? And you're looking forward to eating those potato chips. However, when you open the bag, there are only crumbs because the guy in front of you in line had accidentally stepped on the bag and crushed them all.
Customer: ...Okay...
Me: So what we can do is we can grab a can of Pringles--because Pringles are delicious--and dump those in the bag. That way you have a good, full bag of uncrushed digital potato chips.
Customer: I like that, let's do it!
Coworker: ...why are you talking about digital potato chips?8 -
I hate how some recruiters treat you.
I get it - I'm not your client, the person hiring me is. I get it - at the end of the day I'm just a big bag of money in your eyes.
But at least treat me like a person. I may have a family I need to take care of and the carrot you're dangling in front of me may mean the difference between me living comfortably and me being homeless. So after an interview even if it didn't go well let me know. DON'T avoid my phone calls or emails because you don't want to deal with breaking the news to me and instead hope you just never hear from me again.2 -
Typical TSA (Airport Security)
Security: Please put all of your handheld objects and your outer clothes in this basket.
Me: (puts my bag, in flight luggage, and takes out laptop, bluetooth speaker, bluetooth mouse, bluetooth keyboard, tablet, android phone, dongle bag, and windows phone)
S: (stares at me as if I am a rich kid)
M: May I go through?
S: (nods)
M: (smirks, and goes through metal detector)
BeepBeepBeep!
M: (oh shit.)
Scanning Officer: Raise your hand!
M: Mmmhmm
S: (Hovers the detection stick around my body, but it doesn't ring, tells me to pass through the detector again. Still rings. Super confused. Asks me to do this 2-3 times more. Still same.)
M: Aha! I have my bluetooth earphones here! Sorry!
S: (stares at me, as if he is saying what a f****** weirdo)
My stuff comes out. I put my devices in the bag. The scanning officer stares at me.
M: (smirks)
To be continued....2 -
My favorite client just brought in a new team member who thinks he's god's gift to web development and design. Every week he gives me a long list of things he thinks are wrong with the website.
Now he's cloning pages of the site and adding hideously distorted images and excel screenshots of information matrices formatted the way he wants them. And he wants them published as he has made them because his ideas are obviously the best ones! (guess who he voted for)
He also claims that nobody can figure out how to purchase anything on the site, including him! Even after I've made it so you'd have to be frickin' Helen Keller not to be able to stumble over a BIG FAT BUY NOW BUTTON literally everywhere you look because this site is for geriatric senile MORONS who can't click their way out of a paper bag!!!5 -
Morning
Close laptop lid to hibernate and put into bag for evening dev session
Evening
Pull out dead laptop that didnt hibernate when lid closed.
Ffffffffffuuuu---5 -
Guy I just met: so what do you do?
Me: I'm a developer
Guy: no way! I work for a software company so... (goes on to talk for 10 minutes trying to show off his knowledge of software)
Me: so what do you do there?
Guy: sales
Me: oh...
Just because you work for a software company does not mean you know shit about software. Don't try to build some erroneous common ground with me because you walked by a developer's desk one time, looked at his or her screen, and magically thought you could understand code.9 -
!rant
> Go down into the kitchen to make some tea for my morning routine
> Prepare some water in the water heater
> Throw a tea bag, a bit of sugar and a spoon in my cup
> Take the cup without the water and leave towards my office
> *10 mins pass*
> Want to take the tea bag out of the cup because the tea should be ready now
> That's the moment I realize that I'm a fucking idiot
I seriously need some days off4 -
Suddenly it hits me.
It’s 01:20 here but i get it.
It’s ALL a budget thing.
No dedicated tester means less expenses.
No personal parkspot?
No expenses!
And no good staging or testing environment? Less expenses!
Meanwhile every developer can setup, work on, and maintain about 20 websites on their shitty local Windows machine, that doesn’t even have a proper SSD installed, and we are setting impossible deadlines to figure out who will sink and who will swim.
Ow, here is a SSD.. Figure out the installation yourself because we have no IT knowledge or budget for people that do.
You want a challenge? How about 40 other people that are distracting you all day long.
Meanwhile everybody has to improve their skills in js, react, html5, ccs3, angular, .net and razor so money can made faster.
It would be nice if you could build apps as well.
You had a question? Sorry, no time. Expect some feedback 14 days later.
You finished the site?
Great!
But here are 101 bugs to solve before next week.
All hail their crazy company!2 -
In 2012 my parents bought a new cordless phone with base station for their home. Worked fine.
Unless sometimes, nobody was reachable - mostly, when they weren't home - of course nobody would answer the phone.
Finally I called them one day, and mom answered the phon - "Hi, we are going to the mall now, when will you come ... bzz" - beep beep. Nothing until I came home.
They just came back from the mall, when I arrived. And mom said - this phone won't work - and took the cordless phone out of her bag, which she took to the mall ... yes. mom - that's no mobile ... I had to explain. -
I had the perfect opportunity to finally do some hobby project coding: a 6 hour fight.
I take my fucking expensive laptop out of my bag, it's hot as fuck. FACKING WINDOWS 10 didn't shut down properly, took up ALL battery (which usually lasts ~12 hours). FACKING waste of 6 hours of private time. FUCK WINDOWS 10. FACK. I am now about to embark on 6 hours of boredom. FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT OS7 -
Oh you want my homework Solutions?
WELL NO! YOU WONT GET MY SOLUTIONS YOU PRICK! YOU ALWAYS TREAT ME LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT! I WONT GIVE IT TO YOU!!
AND I DONT FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOUR SHITTY GRADES! THEY ARENT MINE! AND YOU KNOW WHY?! BECAUSE I DO MY FUCKING HOMEWORK AND IT PISSES ME OFF TO ALWAYS GET REQUESTS FOR MY FUCKING SOLUTIONS! GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, PUT IT IN A BAG AND TAKE IT TO THE SHIT STORE!
WHY?!
BECAUSE I DONT CARE! THATS WHY! DO YOUR HOMEWORK!
AND MAKE GOOD GRADES!
BYE!!5 -
Karma...you're the best.
An ex-team member was complaining to me about his manager reviewing his code. Shortened version of the convo:
Mgr: "Why didn't you use the new C# built-in extension methods?"
Dev: "No reason. I thought using the straight forward approach would be easier to maintain"
Ha!..you conceded, arrogant mother <bleep>er. How many times did I have to listen you berate other developers in code reviews for not using some random C# syntax sugar? Comments like "If you bothered to read the new C# 7.0 language specification like I did...you would have known not to use the string.Format anymore..."
Now you're pissed that the manager embarrassed you? How does it feel d-bag?
That's too evil...so I simply responded "I don't think Nick meant anything negative about your code, he's just trying to help."
Seeing him stir around all pissed off does make me giggle like a little schoolgirl.7 -
Supervisor: so you're going to write a perl script that will compile a jar that will be used to invoke a web service
Me: okay. What does the web service do?...
Supervisor: I'm not sure how it works. It'll just return a success or error code
Me: so I'm just going to invoke a black box?
Supervisor: that's a good way to think of it
Me: so how does the qa process work with this black box/how can we debug?
Supervisor: we don't have qa for it and we can't debug
What the fuck?!?!? You expect me to call a literal fucking black fucking box?!?! This isn't lambda calc you jabroni.2 -
I want a case/skin/idk for my lappy after I finally leave this company. I have this awful habit of associating things with memories. If the memory is bad, seeing the object reminds me of it, and e.g. makes me feel burned out again. So, I want to add a really pretty case to my lappy so it feels like my laptop instead of the company's.
I've found a few really beautiful ones on Etsy and Pinterest, but they're so ridiculously expensive! I really don't want to pay $90 🙁
Does anyone know where I can find alternatives?13 -
Seeing this new icon makes me want to go back to 2008 with the shopping bag icon. Those were better days.
11 -
It's always fun to compare webdesign to car sales.
Client: We want a car with 2 doors.
We: Here is you car with 2 doors.
Client: Why does the car only have 2 doors? This is very limiting and i think 4 doors work way better.
We: Okay fine, here is a car with 4 doors.
Client: Could you please check on the brakes, i think there is something wrong but i don't know what.
We: Ok we checked the brakes and they are working ok. So here is you car with working brakes and 4 doors.
Client: Why didn't you check on the exhaust? The car is generating big black clouds now...
It's never enough7 -
So, I got a recall notice for my car today. Because of brake problems? No. Because of air bag issues? No. Because spontaneously combust while hurtling down the freeway? No. Because the software developers pushed out buggy code. My car is being recalled for a software bug! I kid you not.9
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Best co-worker quitting story?
"T" I've refereed to in previous rants knew he was close to being fired, so he jumped ship. 'T' sent the usual "I'll miss you guys" email to the department, except me (and a few others that didn't fall for his BS and not scared of him). His mistake was he sent the email out a day early (buddy forwarded me the email) and left the stuff (box of pics, books, etc) he planned on taking with him. One item in particular was a new company provided laptop bag, which technically wasn't his to keep (supposed to leave/turn-in any company provided equipment), so I grabbed the bag and hid it.
The next day I heard him slamming drawers (looking for the bag) and a loud cursing. Other devs peeking over the walls asking what's wrong.
Dev1: "Dude, what's up? Whatcha' looking for?"
T: "Nothing...fuck!...damn it...nothing...assholes...fucking assholes!"
Dev2: "Who's the ass? What's wrong?"
Dev3: "Need help looking for something?"
T: "No..no...nothing...I'm fine...making sure I don't forget anything."
'T' never found out who took the bag and I've had that laptop bag underneath my desk ever since.5 -
I cannot even begin to describe the rollercoaster of emotions I just went through. I'm on the train, the prompt says next station !my_station. By then the sign says my_station. So I rush off the train. I feel the lightness of a heavy weight lifted off my shoulders... And realise I'm missing my laptop bag, the heavy weight that should be on my shoulders. So I rush to the station office and describe everything about my bag and what's in it and the seat I was in. The guy can't get through to the conductor but the train will be back at this station in 30 minutes. I head home quickly because it's nearby and my fiance offers me a lift back to the station on her car. Suddenly we're running late. She's running red lights. I'm not going to make it. It's 2 minutes past arrival time. But the train is 3 minutes late! I'm running along the platform looking into the carriages for my bag but unable to see much, panicking. The platform is empty. The train. Is going to leave. Except for one lonely figure walking down with a bag in their hands. The conductor gives me my rucksack, tells me it's really heavy and heads back to his duties. I thank him and head back to the station office to thank the man on duty also. Fuck me that was scary.2
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I keep a bag of cookies at my desk that contain rum. I only eat one whenever i get asked a really dumb question. (See my last rant)
On my way to become permanently drunk at work!7 -
You can say what you want but cloud services are awesome. I can literally throw my laptop in a bag, travel to the most beautiful place in the world and work from there.14
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I'm not good with faces, at all.
I literally once forgot a dudes name and remembered after he got his laptop out from his bag and i saw his stickers.
I recognize people based on their stickers now...8 -
My business-partner thinks we can pull personal informations from cookies, like age, gender, city and interests......
"Can we get peoples age and gender from cookies? How much data can we get from their cookies? Like if they've looked at a white bag recently?"
WTF..2 -
after an all nighter, I walked in at about 10:30am and unloaded a small bag of groceries on my desk I got to restock the community fridge. Boss walks up, "WTF?!? NO BEER?!?" Slams his credit card on my desk and walks away...1
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Just doing pet sitting for the amazing girl that featured in one of my last rants, and she left a bag of weed in an envelope for me. I love that woman.2
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Stepped out of my comfort zone and dropped a Zoom link into the channel for Lambda grads to see if anyone wanted to work through code challenges together. It ended up being enjoyable enough that I’m thinking of making it a regular thing. Meanwhile, contribution graph is still going strong.
2 -
This might actually be my first real rant.
Whatever fucking cockgoblin decided that making dynamics GP so fucking confusing needs to suck a big bag of dicks. I'm so fucking tired of having to google every damned table name and column name because nothing makes any motherfucking sense.
Am I supposed to instinctively know what PM20201 does? What data it holds? I don't mind reading documentation. But it's hard to even know where to start when the shitbird API and database are more complicated than calculating orbital fucking decay.
I am done. Fuck you gp. Fuck you and your nonsense. I guess our sales people don't get to know when an invoice was paid.8 -
Interviewer: what’s a fun fact about you
Me: I’m a poorly mixed bag of ambition and depression so depending on the day I can do everything or nothing at all4 -
So... After reading up on the theoretical stuff earlier, I decided to make a real AI that can identify handguns and decide whether it's a revolver or a semiautomatic with 95 percent accuracy...
Well, basically, I been browsing my local gun store's online store for four hours for training data, killed a Mac mini while first training the system and I think I ended on the domestic terrorism watch list... Was that black sedan always there?
Anyway... It's working fairly accurate, my monkey wrench is a revolver by the way.
Isn't AI development a wonderful excuse for all kinds of shit?
"why do you have 5000 pictures of guns on your computer?" - "AI development"
"why did you wave around a gun in front of your web cam" - "AI development"
"why is there a 50 gram bag in your desk?" - "AI development"
Hmm... yeah well... I think it might work. I could have picked a less weird testing project, but... No.7 -
I used to write HTML line by line.
and then someone showed me emmet.
life has never been the same since.4 -
It's Friday folks and my huge bag of enthusiasm for work has just been found empty. Have a great day
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fuck you, man. eat a bag of dicks, a bag of shit and a shit load of dead animals.. you dumb fucking cunt ... go and die ... who the fuck modifies state of 3rd party object and think it is ok to do so.. the fucking prick deserves to get castrated with rusty, old school, gardening scissors...
through some mysterious, obfuscated, buried deep in the asshole code, the fucker decided to set a user-specific value in the default query params of guzzle so that every fucking object using it passes the fucking thing around like a cheap hooker at a dorm party... causing the API calls to misbehave because of the fucking thing.
you send the parameters you want to send but mister sucking-dick-up-the-ass-smarty-pants decided you don't want to do that and because of that I almost broke a core library a week before a fucking major feature release because half the functionality got broken automagically, worst thing is I have no fucking clue where the bloody thing gets inserted ...
I swear if you do that I will find you and I will get a rusty razor to cut your balls into paste and rectally infuse them untill your shit start to come out of every oriphise of your fucking empty head8 -
Oh yes, today was a fugly nice day.
Fuck you my dear boss.
Your mindless way of taking a dump onto my code, moving my classes (CSS) away and adding new classes to refuck my unfucked fuckery clearly shows how much brain is left in your hollow skull of nothingness.
It took me only 2.5 hours of my precious time to unfuck your refucked fuckery and implement the fix you wanted me to do because you fucked up my code.
Go eat a bag of segfaults and get cast to void* (void pointer).
I am also very thankful having spent the whole day today to fix cross browser fuckups, hacks and #!&$+@.
Normally I really like my boss. He is a cool guy and an innovative and mostly intelligent person.
BUT FUCK HIS CODE.16 -
*Randomly using laptop to serialize data
*Only 8:53, already at 47%
*Checks bag for laptop cord
*Sees its not there
Oh god what have I done1 -
"why do you like computers more than women" was a question my dad asked me today. that was a fucking curveball lemme tell ya
turns out my dad thinks i'm sexually attracted to computers as i don't flirt with women nor do I date.
I don't have a car, I don't have money, I like an hour from town, I have no charisma and I look like an unevenly-melted candle someone dropped into a bag of shaved 5 o'clock stubble. Of course I don't talk to people IRL.4 -
!rant
TL;DR: "Gather all resources before working on any project and committing to the client... & over smartness can be deadly"
Couldn't stop my laughter after reading this one.
A new vacuum salesman knocked at the door….
A lady opened it. Before she could speak... The salesman rushed into the living room and emptied a bag of cow dung on the carpet.
Salesman: - Madam, if I couldn't clean this up in the next 3 mins with my new powerful vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this!!
Lady: Do you need Chili Sauce with that?
Salesman: - Why Madam?
Lady: - Because there's no electricity in the house...!!!
😂😂😂 -
Just got an email with a new really nice douche-bag move from Postman to raise their prices again (this time for almost double) on their paid plans with excuse "it will help us deliver more of what our customers need from us."
Even though I've decided to look other way around for years on their electron-based garbage of bloated app, have not been a fan of their pricing 8$/month/user just for a simple feature such as sharing request schema and environment data.
This simply needs to stop and I'm seriously thinking about doing something about it. 🙄10 -
I am completely exhausted in every regard possible. Been working between 14 and 18 hours 7 days for about 3 months for a fucking stupid uni project. Amazingly, my phisical health has more or less kept up with that. The deadline is next friday and it looks like we're going to make it, but at this point I feel like an empty bag of flesh moving around. After the deadline I have 6 days to study for an extremely hard exam and I hate every single moment if this all. This morning I nearly cried just because I missed a bus that comes every 20 min. Please send endurance!!11
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Dunno if it's just ADHD or what, but I just had a whole bag of marshmallows and a mug of coffee and I'm falling asleep. 😴😴😴
Also, if somebody finds my motivation, chain it to something please. SOB keeps running away.9 -
Fuuuuck you AWS!!!
If you have a feature called “termination protection” perhaps it should actually prevent an instance from being terminated!
But nooo, you add *one line* of text on a documentation unrelated to ec2 terminations saying that in this particular scenario, it will terminate your instance.
Eat a dick. Eat a bag of dicks. Eat all of the dicks you fucking turd munchers.
Now I have to manually enter a month of invoices from the order emails that were created. 😡2 -
Supervisor has me making a web app in this badass new stack called the LAP (linux, apache, php) stack because he would he would like the app to be "simple". He's spot on though.. having a three letter acronym saves so much time.... and then we don't need to worry about a database... or querying.... or efficiency.... or even the web app itself because clearly he expects the fucking code gods to come down and turn this piece of shit web app into a fucking masterpiece if he thinks this shit can be done based on a hacked together file management system. Please save me code gods4
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I resign in a week. I need to turn in my work laptop. Calling it a laptop is a vast overstatement. Its a 2005 Lenovo with 4 gigs of RAM.
Most of my actual work has been on my gaming desktop. My work laptop is in a bag and I haven't seen, smelt or touched it for over a year.
And now I'm scared to open it.4 -
Was busy today doing some house work. Everything was normal till afternoon.
Me thinking of using laptop noticed that there was no laptop
My office laptop and another bag was stolen from my home .
It had most of the production details and source code. Running behind police for help now.
Informed my boss too about this incident.
Will update on what happens tomorrow in office.
Fuck that person who stole my office laptop and destroyed my Peace.8 -
It is so frustrating to be searching for a problem, find a possible answer on Stack Overflow, and click on it to find out that the only answer was some douche bag explaining to the poster how their question is irrelevant or explain how much more they know. Either answer the question or help them politely.
Case In Point:
Q:
"Is there a ____ library that does _____?
A:
"Why would you want to do that? There are far better ways."
Either provide the "ways" or shut up.2 -
One day, I was waiting for a friend to install windows... after 2h he just says: ah, I'll just take it home and wait it out there!
So, he put his laptop in his bag (btw the usb stick was sticking out) and left it there.
Just as he stepped away from the bag, the bag just decided to fall down and exactly on the usb... and ofc it broke down...
The face he made I'll never forget.1 -
So yesterday i solved 7 tickets on my own for this project while the teammate was "testing".
Solved nothing and checked fb or new everytime i took a look at his screen.
Can comeone please fire this guy?1 -
I keep my laptop clean, stickers are for the bag. Noticed I can email devrant for stickers since my last post got 20+
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We've worked 5 months to decompose a complex and huge monolith into microservices, deployed in prod with zero defects. And finally moving to AWS, one by one.
How can i explain this work to bunch of 5 year olds? i.e. i've to present this to top level management with no tech knowledge.
I'm thinking of: Lets say a family of 6 people want to travel for 30 holidays to another country. A monolith can be equivalent to having everyone's luggage in huge bag, microservices can be packing luggage in sizable chunks acceptable by airlines.
I'm bad at explaining, can someone help with better example?10 -
Fuck you apple, and fuck your god damn shitty documentation.
Working with NFC enabled passes, their documentation says "payload max is 64 bytes"
What they ACTUALLY fucking mean is 64 ascii characters.
Also, the way they handle date time formats is fucked. They say they support W3C formats (iso) but what they actually mean is, they support a half assed version of a subset of it.
I told their chief engineer over a phone call and his response;
"I agree, our documentation is lacking"... HOW ABOUT YOU FUCKING UPDATE IT!
Also, how they handle json is just bad.7 -
Sure Amazon, 0.02$/GB * 0.000120 GB = 0.01$, not 0.0000024$, sure, that's right.
0.05$ for what amounts to less than 2MB of data transfer in total (there's two more lines like that in the bill).
Eat a bag of dicks.
Free tier my ass, if I wanted to spend money I'd rather use Azure.
3 -
Coffeescript is such a pain in the ass. If I wanted to code in Python, I'll code in Python. Why do you have to add pythonicness to JS! Eat a bag of dicks!7
-
Well it’s Official, The Bot has been bagged, It’s the end of the Build season. I hoped to get a picture of it not being in the bag, but too late 😑
6 -
I think my ISP has been a little sneaky cum gargler. Nothing wanted to stream properly for awhile now. When even youtube struggles shit is wrong.
Installed protonvpn now and by the power of some magical internet ball bag the internet came forth and is streaming at 720p no buffer even required and from a not so glorious server.
did they try to keep me blind? Not no more I have wiped that jizz off my face.4 -
I'm addicted to the Visual Studio shortcut ctrl+K - ctrl+D to automatically format my code and hate it when I pull down the latest version and it's not formatted properly. 😲5
-
A guy recommended by a friend asked me if I can make him a website for his restobar for the cheapest price.
So, I gave him my cheapest quote.
He then asked if I can make it half of the price, and he'll give me a Jack Daniels shirt, bag and a cap.3 -
Whiteboard interviews. Would say "my first whiteboard interviews", but I think they will always have the magic to make developers feel stupid.1
-
!Dev
Fuck that day, honestly. Today during my driving lesson I was a witness of a car crash literally 5 meters in front of me (the older man cut the road of other guy, that other guy hit the old man's car and old man has hit the lamp post. Good thing no was injured, except of few bumpers, car doors and lamp).
The train which was supposed to take me back to Leiden was 10 minutes late, so I couldn't catch the earlier bus.
When I got off the train, went to catch a next bus, there was huge crowd outside, because police was taking care of the suspicious bag left in front of the train station (pic). Lots of cop, lots of people. Fortunately that wasn't a bomb.
The only positive thing was that I helped some nice Hindi guy find his bus 😁
26 -
Customer: I have a problem with the new BI program.
Me: ok, show me what's wrong.
Customer: when I double-click the icon the program start but does not do anything else...
Me: because you didn't ask anything to the program, you have to launch the utilities by clicking menus like, for example, to make a New report or to Open another report pre-saved.. the program doesn't know what you think.
Customer: ah.......ok, maybe It's time for me to put a paper bag (like for bread) on my head and do 5 minutes of embarassment lonely -
Curse the bastards that sneeze in public without covering their mouth. Your sad pathetic life without any contributions to the society has no value, but others' have, you dumb, gross bag of germs!
All others trying to justify, CURSE YOU TOO!!!3 -
Story from when game disks were in fashion
I asked my best buddy to burn a disk of GTA vice city so that I can install it on my desktop.
The next day when I receive the disk and insert it into my PC I almost fell of my chair laughing cause that douche bag had copied the icon from his desktop to the disk and burned it .
I almost fell laughing not because what he did , but because he did so when he was in his final year of his IT degree 🤣🤣🤣3 -
Having a shit day at work and all of a sudden get a message that my big bag of beef jerky got delivered, mood instantly raised!!!1
-
For fucks sake! It's 2018 and MS™ Excel™ is still not able to store a file in UTF-8...
And neither can you choose the separators when opening a CSV.
Go eat a bag of corporate dicks and greedily choke on it to an agonizing death.5 -
Sometimes my boss wants me to fire a bullet without a gun, they want me to throw the bullet so hard that it feels like it was shot via a gun.
Maintaining a legacy app sucks so bad when you don't even have the full codebase and some douche bag decided to just randomly throw the codebase on the fucking SVN. 😠1 -
Opening the bag...
Stuck my nose in it. Deeeeeeep breath.
Better than sex.
Taking the scale, getting the right amount.
Feeding the grinder, thinking about whom to kill... Watching get them torn to pieces, shredded bit by bit.
Preheating the iron, getting the water up to temperature.
Filling up the espresso can, turning it on.
Boiling fresh espresso.
Nothing's sexier than the sound of the steam and the smell of fresh grinded and brewed espresso.
Good Sunday.9 -
Between high school and college, working in a circuit board manufacturing storeroom.
Fun fact: when we are bagging small boards, we do not gently lay them in containers, they're usually thrown at least 6 feet into a bin of the same type of board after they're placed in the bag. We also don't remake a board when pins are bent, we just bend them back with tweezers. And you know that rule about not touching the gold connectors... Yeah... So much for that... Did I remember to mention that these boards are for medical equipment?
On the bright side, we at least have electrostatic discharge control going on all the time.3 -
So, I'm a veteran. I served in the Army as an information system operator/analyst. Glorified help desk, set up some equipment in the field, a few other small things. But I can make fun of vets, other branches, and those serving. I've paid my dues, and they're OK with it. Hell, they all do it too. But you have to be a vet or currently serving.
I feel like that with tech too. My buddies and I call each other geeks/nerds all the time. I get annoyed (read as pissed off) when someone from the outside does it.
I got an email from a recruiter that said something along the lines of "..basically a bunch of really smart nerds building software..." What the actual fuck? Go eat an entire bag of dicks, and choke on every single one.12 -
I walked into work this morning and before I even pulled my laptop out of my bag a PM asked if I could make a "quick change" for a client 😑4
-
My 12 year old bag, now with graphics, goes with me to client meetings and acts as a deterrent for clients talking shit/fake knowledge or cliches.
3 -
Came home from a long 4hours meet up.
Was trying to take laptop out from my bag.
Laptop was still on.
Oh my fucking god.3 -
Just some random thoughts looking at the soon-to-be new filtering feature.
Wouldn't it be nice if DevRant had a QR login like WhatsApp for easy login on desktop?
What about a "top rants" on profiles?
Oh what about an activity mosaic like GitHub's commit timeline?
Just some thoughts I had while punching my punching bag, it can get tedious.5 -
totally !dev
I just saw my team mate clean his glasses with that micro fiber cloth that they give along with the specs. He just like, opened his bag, picked up his specs box, took that itsy bitsy piece of clothing and wiped his glasses!!!!!
My heart stopped for a bit :-/
Who the hell does that. Sheeesh.5 -
I love swag, got into a local virtual event, they ship you the full kit to make an audrino powered self watering plant…
Bag included a build it yourself Pandalf
3 -
I went outside to throw something into the garbage bin. I threw my bag in there and caught movement with the side of my eye in the bin. Something in the bin was moving! It freaked me out until I realized it was a squirrel.
Well I hope I scared the shit outta him too!2 -
@$&#! Grrrr... FACEBOOK API SUCK, A FUCKING CATASTROPHE, TEN POUNDS OF SHIT IN A FIVE POUND BAG... !#&$@
That's it, thanks for listening, i'm out. 🙃5 -
I hate apples. I buy them at the grocery store. They taste bland, they don't have any smell and by eating them I don't get any positive emotions.
Well, at least this is the conclusion in my head every autumn after a year of eating store bought apples.
Then the end of autumn comes/winter begins and I visit my grandparents, who live in a village. I get a bag of apples (15-20 kgs) and this bag smells wonderful. Heck, the car smells wonderful for a few days after transporting the bag back home.
My grandparents give around 7-8 varieties of apple, mixed. Each and every one of them tastes amazing, even if I have to cut some spots out from a few. They don't always look perfect, but I think these are the noble ones and the store bought would be the peasants.
I know, it's kind of obvious, that the homegrown fruits are better, but it still amazes my tastebuds every year, plus I'm really grateful for having my grandparents.8 -
I carry a mac M2.
My brother has a similar bag to mine.
He put his bag in place where I used to put mine.
I went and opened bag.
There was NO Mac M2.
My heart nearly skipped a beat.10 -
Convincing them I'm a fully functional human person and not an autistic introvert with imposter syndrome crammed into a vaguely human shaped meat bag.2
-
Trend:
The Kiki
- idiots get out of there car and dance with the door open...
Me
- Meh. Ghost riding the whip is old news.
——
New Trend:
The Kiki fail
- people get out and either fail or get betrayed.
Me: now I’m on board.
Great examples seen so far...
1. Women get out dancing, drops her bag (on purpose) in dancing. A motorcycle comes along and steals her purse.
Me: Great. I hope they get away with it too. I like the criminals more than the idiot in this case.
2. Dude gets out and starts dancing. Driver speeds up. The guy holds on to the car telling him to “STOP!”. He stops, the guy goes head first through the window of the driver (its down) and I assume right on his head.
Me: mmmmm delicious7 -
I was on the train and a woman came aboard. The only available seat was next to me. She takes this huge laptop out of her bag. While I observed this, I thought: she's going to code. She logged in and.. GitLab! She was writing R code.
-
I miss the old steam sales where you could bag some really good deals if you just payed some attention. Nowadays though they just develop some rinse and repeat novel game, event or something and the deals are predictable. Max 50% if the game still got some steam (like stardew Valley) and 66-90 if the game is fading into obscurity (Turing Test)
-
You see that, over there?
That massive, 10-ton bag of dicks sitting there in the corner?
Secure Code Warrior can eat that ENTIRE FUCKING THING!
SO many flaws in their tests... SO much HIGHLY questionable content... utterly RIDICULOUS bullshit code with no comments and no context... asking me fucking Angular questions when I'm doing an Express test... two answers that are IDENTICAL... and a busted-ass site on top of it all.
I hate this motherfucking bullshit SO much, and at this moment I hate my employer even more for forcing me to deal with it.
But, hey, I hope you enjoy no work getting done today since you seem to prefer I do this instead, so I guess I'll just scare my dog some more as I yell about this bullshit.
Fuck you Secure Code Warrior, fuck you very, VERY much.7 -
I went on vacation, and when I came back, they had removed all of the keys from my keyboard and put them in a bag, and placed the bag and my mouse and some other items in my overhead bin, and then they closed it and locked it, and my desk, and stuffed the keys up in the overhead bin, and this innocent little guy was hanging by a noose from the ceiling over my desk.
9 -
So a couple of days ago some sergeant shit for brains crashed into my parked car, consequently i'm now stuck getting the peasant wagon aka buses.
Today, mr cunt bus driver decides to crash into metal railings on my commute to work, leading to all the pre prepped meals in my bag to smash. My macbook and books were covered in chicken, rice and broccoli with the sweet fucking aroma of nando's chicken sauce (10/10 would recommend by the way).
Now, I'm not one to think about the existence of some fucking deities but if you do exist you're a fucking mouldy scrotum you cunt. What's next, get into work to find all the machines reverted back to windows you absolute dick drip.
For the sake of my humanity stay out of my way for the next week because I'm pretty sure people are going to start receiving swift kicks to the jaw.7 -
#require "A rant from a few days ago in which some guy actually did this";;
Current fantasy: I wish the two assholes sitting at the table next to mine in the cafe and being super loud and obnoxious were discussing a business idea so that I could buy their domain name and put a large "eat a bag of dicks" type picture on it.5 -
Anyone noticed the MS Store icon changed to a BEAUTIFUL COLORFUL MS LOGO SHOPPING BAG?
I LOVE IT!
FML / FYMS (F*** YOU MS)8 -
I fell on the floor with my laptop in the company provided laptop sleeve inside a laptop bag. Now it has a ugly bend at the end. Can anything be done about this?
17 -
Started a new job on Monday. STILL DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO THE FUCKING SERVERS I NEED TO ANYTHING. Holy fucking shit I'm annoyed. Fuck you corporate bullshit. I already feel like quitting.3
-
Helpful work advice then: “work hard and we will notice your successes and improvement, we believe in you”
Helpful work advice now: “Evil corporate mfs. Nefarious manipulators trying to fuck you. They want to destroy you and milk the last drop from your pathetic spirit. They would watch you burn in a pit of acid for entertainment. Get the bag and get out fam.”13 -
Ok GCSE finals are coming up and I take ICT. literally it's harder to fail than pass this subject. But some how half the class is failing it. One of the topics that a lot of the class are struggling with is web development. Honestly all you have to do is add 2 images and some text and you have 10 marks it's stupidly easy. So at the end of the class the teacher handed me some notes on web development that he thought might come in handy. Knowing me I just chucked it in my bag never to be seen again mainly because I already know a lot about web development and a lot of the time he's asking me why his code isn't working and I'm there mumbling "you forgot a semi colon" or something like that. So when I got home I decided to take a look at these notes and honestly this made my day
2 -
Onto the next interview again.
Last company was such a bad match I hope this one works out better.
Another day of pretending I think a lot about my life goals and aspirations but honestly just wanna secure a bag.
Wish me luck!3 -
None in the last few years. But my supervisor was a gem that I wished I could pack in a bag and take with me elsewhere.
However, I can recall an old job that had a lot of "weekly" meetings that I used to sleep at. If you have a weekly meeting without an agreed upon or relevant agenda, chances are it's a snooze fest.3 -
I lost my bike key in office yesterday and searched hell out of everywhere like in office, in my bag, in others bags (never know who can prank you), even we were searching in everyone's drawer but we were unable to find it so we went out an checked if I dropped it near canteen or anywhere out in office area using mobile flashlight at night for like 2 hours. So we just lost hopes and went to home by bus.
So today we went to shop and bought the new lock assembly and while we were heading back to office our QA called me laughing and telling "we found it, it was stuck in your chair and it fell out while the cleaning guy was cleaning it.!"
Luckily the shopkeeper took lock assembly back as it is laughing and gave us full refund.1 -
"An air sickness bag, printed with the phrase "UNIX barf bag", was inserted into the inside back cover of every copy by the publisher.”
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/... -
My company have become fucking douche bag! I have been working overtime everyday day till late nights for 2 weeks including one weekend and I got a notice for slow work just because I was not able to work on the second weekend because of health issues. Fuck this insensitive shit company treating employees as a piece of shit!8
-
ordered a new laptop bag, tracking said it was delivered Sunday, but fucking USPS forgot to put the parcel locker key in my mailbox. fml. I just want my bag.2
-
This guy... starts at 11. Ends at 16:00... And i’m supposed to work with him while my day is 9-17. No communication whatsoever. Great. Fucking great. Im boring my brains out meanwhile.1
-
So... My parent's house is 40 years old.
I'm cleaning the corners... and my father as a DIY guy and a man that was never afraid to learn and update, there is so must useful junk, but also soooo many card boxes. He never throws them away, in case he needs to return the item.
So... I've been cleaning a 3 shelf open closet.
- have around 8 bags of cardboard, paper and newspappers for recycling.
- plus 2 bags of plastic.
- 4 bags filled with books for the local community center.
- a bag full of electronics to salvage.
And this only in 2 rows...
Man how could he store so much stuff in there I don't know, but this ends up being fun.
Also, one printer to salvage. :D
When it's over I get to own the shelf to store my stuff :D4 -
Appearently on of my coworkers is working while having a day off. Boss answered the chat with the request to shut the pc because he’s off today :)
-
Another fun thing. This morning one of the first mails i read was a issue about a bug in our software.
This was a bug i mentioned months ago but there was nog evidence where i searched like mails chats or tickets.
If people would just listen to me this bug was solved months ago but back then i got a reaction like: "works over here" while i tested it on two different instances with buggy results each time. -
I told myself for 18 months things like; ‘im being here, working here, and i like it here’.
Also when others left, nothing could break my confidence.
Present moment i’m happy to leave this place. This madhouse. This stressed out place where everybody keeps licking clients asses. Fuck this shit, i’m much better off elsewhere!
I am dreaming of leaving this company while the building burns. Or just before leaving, throwing my pc to pieces.
I wish i could scream: FUCK *company name*!!! -
My first interview was the interview where I cheated and got the job, it was an on campus job interview. I did not have a good gpa, (to be honest it was really bad i was below the 25th percentile)
Anyway this was the only (developer) job interview I knew I could qualify for, I was pretty sure that if I couldn't nail this one then I could kiss my dream of programming professionally good bye.
We were about 25 kids sitting in a class room with a pencil and couple of sheets of paper and the the interview panel walked between the seats looking at what we wrote.
So, when I couldn't write an algorithm for the problem of square rooting a number n. I panicked (was literally shivering with tears rolling down my cheeks, thankfully nobody saw me as i was on the last bench) I gave up, wiped my tears and stared at the board, a panel member saw me and told me to leave after looking at my paper. This was the moment my mind decided (not me but someone else inside me) that I have to do whatever it took, so just when I was stepping out and grabbed my bag i quickly opened the browser of my phone inside the bag typed square root algorithm opened the first result and read the words arrive at the answer by binary search, ass soon as I read that my mind worked at a pace that it has never managed ever since that time, and i knew the solution in a matter of seconds, i dropped my bag when to one of the more sympathetic panel members and explained the whole thing to him on the spot, he was impressed, and he asked me how this algorithm can be extended for the nth root(which is really simple once you have the algorithm for square root) and i blurted it out instantly which impressed him even more and offered me the job on the spot and told me to attend the next 2 rounds as a formality.
Thus i saved myself for a world of hurt and now I am a developer who thinks back to that day every time I need a boost of morale1 -
Today I flew from London to Glasgow and had to carry my laptop in my suitcase since I don't have a proper laptop bag. Was extremely nervous the whole time even though I cushioned it as much as possible. Then I get home and on CSS tricks I see this on the screen and freak out thinking my screen got messed up. Turns out it's my adblocker doing work :D
6 -
How do you feel when in the middle of tight deadline, your client calls you and tells you that he has changed some little detailing in the requirements, like naming, color schema etc. This needs to be done within the deadline. You tell yes and tell him to send email.
After receiving the email, you find out it's not little it's bag of new features listing.
Now either you have to overwork or let the client go....
2 -
Wanted to add some personality to my desk at the office and decided to bring a Jinx (from League of Legends) figurine for it.
When I arrive and open my bag I get really sad due to finding said figurine with its head decapitated during transport. 😭😭😭5 -
Yes, they given all of us plastic chairs for sitting 36 hr instead of been bag. Wow you can imagine the condition of our back. They also don't know the password which they created for guest...
-
"Bro, what's inside your bag?"
"Just a MacBook Air, why?"
"Looks so heavy?"
"There is Hadoop inside my Mac Air."
"Oh..." -
please show me a picture of your new plane, and noisily remind me of how much your house is worth. I want to know all about your finances while working for a pittance because I believe in the company. I feels good to be appreciated, and toward the money that comes in from the apps we develop, so that you can afford these things. douche bag bosses. aaaarrrrgh3
-
So stress is back on. Justed wanted to work. Computer crashed.
Deadlines with Windows 10 isn’t a good combo. Booting takes between 15 and 30 minutes ofcourse. Site needs to go live monday.
Joy...5 -
Does anyone have recurring nightmare dreams about school?
I still get them even though it's > 10 years. Usually my dreams are about maths exams where I can read the question paper but can't make out the question.
Then other days I see myself walking up to class and I don't have my school bag with me.
Other times, I know my exams are gone bad and I barely wrote anything on the answer sheet and submitted it.
Other times, I see myself without pants in my classroom and everyone is pointing and laughing at me.5 -
dev_storyV1.1 (without merge conflict)
Thief: Quick! Hand me your wallet and backpack
Dev: *hands over the empty wallet, takes laptop from bag, pulls from remote, pushes all the commits to remote, deletes local repo, puts laptop in bag, hands over the bag* Here you go mister *sighs* -
Random. Related to WFH.
How do you deal with all this waste sorting/recycling business?
I live in what's considered a small apartment for 4 people and a cat and in our tiny kitchen we have separate trash bags for:
- plastic/paper/metal
- glass
- deposit bottles
- commons/unsorted
- and it's very likely that starting '24 we'll also have an orange 'food waste' bag
I swear to God, sometimes I feel like the Wall-e, the trash prince, living in a recycling centre/dumpster. This kind of taints the pleasure of WFH.
How do you deal with that? Question to those who sort waste and, preferably, live in a small aptmt.16 -
I don’t recall why but a project was in need of an all-nighter and I was the only programmer available to do it. I even brought a sleeping bag and, about 2 hours before people started arriving for work the next morning, I slept in a gap between my cubicle and a wall. I brought a shaving kit and everything. For some reason I didn’t want people to know I had pulled the all-nighter so I had to make sure to get up and look presentable before the first person got there.
When my kids get the mistaken notion that they’ll be able to be like me right out of school and be able to make the money I make and have the flexible schedule I have and work from home and choose projects I like, I tell them my war stories about how I had to work 23 years of some hellish stuff to gain that privilege. -
2 years ago, the first day in Viareggio(Italy):
walked 30min on the beach searching the "free beach", walking with cool bag, umbrella, and backpack in the hot summer sun...
finding the "free beach": drop everything I had and run to the water to cool down...
forget iPhone in my swimming trunks :(
1. five weeks without a phone (really relaxing;))
2. have no iOS device for restoring the backup... because I bought an oneplus 31 -
How do I avoid carpal tunnel? Simple: my school bag (it's a laptop bag) usually has like 3 laptops in it plus miscellany tools and such, making it over 100 pounds usually. I also don't use a strap, so it's hand-hold only. It also helps train grip strength!4
-
Coworker and dev lead had a discussion about newsletter implementation last friday.
I told them, i’ve tried the setup before, it’s not gonna work, it’s behind an ip-block and they need a backend person.
Lead was convinced it was possible and started drawing stuff.
End result: wasn’t possible.
People really need to start listening around here... -
I only want a phone I can put in my pocket and a laptop I can carry around in my bag. Slimmer than that and it's just unnecessary. I prefer my devices durable and packing some nice specs. Also headphone jacks are a plus 😆
-
devRanters beware! In-browser JavaScript crypto mining is becoming a thing.
https://coin-hive.com/
I found
https://chrome.google.com/webstore/...
Which will block browser coin miners on Chrome for now. Other ad/script blockers might work (though not always guaranteed).
Currently, these miners don't limit their CPU usage (and neither does the browser) so it's not great for your PC use.
If implemented correctly, like only using for a few seconds or for captchas/link shorteners (as suggested on the Coin Hive site), this could be a nice alternative to ads. But there is a guarantee that many will start using this unethically and not even tell users, nevermind that they'll do it for the entire session of the site.
Add Service Workers to the mix and it's a bag of trouble.13 -
Fucking ant-cumstained garbage bag. How come you are so inaccessible you satan website.
I wanted to look at someone on facebook. But for some things you need an account, so I sign up with my spam mail and a random name and the birth date that was filled in
When I try to login facebook says: your account might be compromised, what is your birth date to verify it's you.
Wtf I just made this. So I fill in the standard birth date.
WRONG BIRTH DATE YOU CAN'T TRY AGAIN FOR THE NEXT 15 MIN
Im glad I abandoned you long ago.
But apparently you know you suck since you don't allow new users? -
Totally fucking buying this and having a picture of the “(l)user of the week” or even “(l)user of the minute” on it.
—For the link click cautious, it’s a desk punching bag.
https://bluecrate.com/products/... -
Last tuesday I was scheduled for a technical interview with company's mobile team lead. First thing he does is noticing my The Legend of Zelda messenger bag. He starts asking questions about the games I've played, my favorite ones, the ones I disliked and keeps on going for about 10 minutes. Then he starts asking about my experience and some technical stuff for 2-3 minutes. Then he walks away saying "our HR lady will contact you to let you know what's next". Nobody contacted me the rest of the week. I guess someone who prefers "Ocarina of Time" over "A Link to the Past" is not a fit for that company.4
-
Not a rant just a quick vent of rage, Geostatistics can eat a bag of dicks. Not just one a whole fucking bag.1
-
Every morning a developer drops a shit ton of shit in the toilet near my desk and goes away without cleaning the toilet. Then the bathrooms stay crappy all day. Fuck that anon shit bag2
-
Yesterday I found out that the dirt bag/filter in my vacuum was missing.... So all the dirt ended up in or around the fan... Still worked though but I figured should get a replacement bag... Which isn't should separately.
So I pull up the order in Amazon and go to the product page to see how much it cost.
List price was $30 but there happened to be a lightning deal reducing it to **24.99**
So I just bought it because I happened to be on 30-day Prime trial... So had free shipping no matter what.
But I wonder now was it actually perfect luck or an algorithm at work...
Would I have bought it at $30 or if I didn't have Prime and needed to make up the 1c?
Was this basically just tricking me into buying asap and trying to convince me to keep prime...6 -
A one time gift consisting of the following in a party bag without any letter to explain why:
A jar of Polski-Ogorki pickles, synthetic motor oil, a Chicago's Cubs cap, a My Little Pony doll and a dollar store clown costume.1 -
I’m living the dream. Lightweight, powerful, beautiful gaming laptops are a thing (have been for a while) and I have the pleasure of owning one.
I remember one of my college peers having a BRICK Alienware laptop in 2010. Don’t get me wrong, It was awesome at the time and I was super jealous, but it was insanely loud, heavy af, and as thick as a calculus textbook!
But now with the amazing RTX GPUs, and TB SSDs I can game on max settings, benchmark fairly well and take it with me when I travel for work alongside my work laptop all in the same bag without breaking my back.
🤘🏼 I love my Asus Zephyrus 🤘🏼
The fan is still hella loud though 😆
Maybe by mid or late 2020s we will have a revolutionary cooling system that would rid our dependence on fans for cooling. Just dreaming out loud here. It sure would be great to not have to clean the dust out.8 -
Talking to another coworker today:
me: Have you ever looked at a coworker and realized they are Halloween ready?
coworker: <laughing> Some people are ready all year round!
(side note: I feel like devrant needs a test before people can post here. The paper bag challenge should be enough I think.)1 -
The codebase Im working with is like someone took 3 sets of earphones, crumpled them together in their pocket, and then threw them into a bag full of spaghetti and wasps. Too confusing to comprehend and dependencies absolutely everywhere. All I have to do is port over a relatively straightforward piece of functionality from one iOS app to another. Core Data has other plans it seems....
-
css frameworks are a sign your ui/ux team is an empty bag of chips.
vuetify examples look like toys in their docs and work that way in prod. if you put any two vuetify components together on a page you basically dont have a website anymore. mx px are indicators that your styling abstraction is so bad that adding 8 resize shims to every single node on the dom is the correct solution to your visual spacing dilemma.
css offers so many powerful tools out of the box now, and it takes like a week to actually learn them. instead, we cloak all the functionality and expressiveness of modern css in black-box m a t e r i a l d e s i g n and pretend like obtuse blobs are a viable substitute for coherent, accessible, user-friendly ux.5 -
The police in England are utterly useless. Some of them are good, some of them try. But generally, they're a bag of shit.
I know this is random, but I can't really say any more than this and I need to rant about this shit. It's frustrating AF.7 -
Had my dev job described as a "computer, desk job" in a condescending tone yesterday by a guy trying to convince me to join his pyramid scheme....
// TODO: come up with awesome rant about this so I can look badass2 -
Since i hard problems with a slow harddrive i've been asking for a SSD. It took 6 weeks for a SSD to arrive.
It has been laying on my desk for another 4, because busy projects etc.
Last friday i decided to install it. I have to do everything about the install myself. No IT support nothing.
I've been trying to install windows on the SSD For over a day now. And now im fucking done with it. FUCK THIS SHIT. FUCK THE SSD. FUCK THE FUCKING PROJECT AND FUCK THE FUCKING CLIENT. Goddamn morons around here.3 -
TD;DR: I have school instead of vacation but 5 hours of spare time. I got my laptop with me and I'll work in school.
I didn't want to take part of the course-trip with the 12th graders (my course sucks, there are too many assholes for the neutral people to compensate). After speaking with the director, and the only condition was to tell the course why. I did deliver them a nicely put "fuck you, you bullied my only friend out of this school" and now is the time where I visit the 11-graders while the other 12-ers are on "school vacation".
I got a "new" plan for the courses I should visit. Today, Wednesday, I have 5 FUCKING FREE HOURS IN A ROW. Oh yes, baby, the teacher generating the plan hates me as well. (He really does but it's probably just unlucky not his fault).
So today, I decided, I would take my heavy-ass laptop with me, in a laptop bag, which doesn't fit into the school bag I have and my laptop doesn't fully fit in the laptop bag as well (sticks out), that's the perks of having a laptop!!
— so I can work on my (I wanna say this once in my life without being a professional) "CLIENTS PROJECT" - the funny thing is that the client is a (really fucking good but small) advertising agency and too lazy to design their own website. Since I had my internship, they know how hard I *can* work even without being payed. Now they do wanna pay me but that's another story.
I'm on the bus and I have this monster of a bag which isn't lighter than a freaking huge bag of rice and I'm so fucking excited for this day. The library is my best friend. Hopyfully I'm going to find a socket for power..
Sorry for so many commas, I'm german. :D3 -
Went to my favorite scrapyard but it's hard to catch my friends here (I worked here for 6 months, learned a lotttttt). I always leave a surprise. This time I also brought aluminum to give so I much hide the bag and I'm placing a ridle.. This bottle in the front door. Let's see if they get it
3 -
Because i had some problems on sites in the past that were iOS specific i configured one of the leftover Macs here as a test device. A week later this laptop has been kidnapped and until now it is gone. I can start installing everything again on a new one because one of the fellow workers here is stupid as fuck
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So this past few days of a mix bag of emotions. Friday's weekly deliverables on our first dry run at launch, I squeeze across the line in an embarrassing finish. Decision to proceed with the live run to be delayed, not going to happen if I've got something to say about it.
Next day, vendor on the house my wife has purchased (our first!!) and says we can move the settlement date ahead 4 weeks! Winning!
Monday, meeting with all stakeholders on the fuck up that was my deliverables I'm responsible for, granted a conditional pass. "Don't worry, I got this."
Tuesday, received the results of a technical challenge I've given one of the developer candidates - he smashed it. Keen to give him the job! -
Y'know...it kinda hurts when you can play Eugene's Trick bag (Steve Vai, look it up) and damn near everything from Metallica and Van Halen as well as Megadeth on the electric guitar AND your grandmother still hates it.
Wish grand mama would enjoy the amount of skill it takes to pull this shit out. But none the less she absolutely abhors it. I think its funny as all hell.20 -
When testing things..
Product Description: Expensive Imported Turkish Pen
Product Image: A bag of Snickers
The "asdfghsjgllhdk" text doesn't look very appealing. -
You know it's time to search for new job when you constantly feel like taking out wallet and mobile from bag and leave office and never return back
-
Why in the fuck can't you transfer a domain name for 60 fucking days? This makes no sense. My dumbass purchased a domain from Google Domains and registered it with Google Sites. Now I just realized that Google Sites is useless as fuck. It's more useless than a plastic bag of dicks. The dust on my window seal serve more purpose on this planet than Google Sites. That's how useless Google Sites is. Now I want to switch to Square Space or host it myself but have to wait 60 fucking days.
I could just buy a new domain for 12 bucks but I had the perfect name. Fuck ICANN for their stupid idiotic pointless motherfucking policy. Fuck.1 -
This mother fucking laptop is turning on by itself when put inside the bag, I was feeling the heat from the bag, I get it out and wow this mother fucker is really on fire 🔥, when I opened it I saw windows trying to repair, you windows mother fucker why are you up asshole, I put water cloth on it and throw it straight to the fridge.7
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Rant/Question
So I had this friend who has his own company, hosting is part of their business. He gave me a VM to host some websites, test stuff and whatnot. Free. I have quite some important stuff on there (personal, and a few demo sites for clients). No backups of my own, because they do nightly tape backups, and RAID accross physically seperated datacenters. Today, he just shut down my VM - for personal reasons (really personal, nothing to do with his company whatsoever, he hates me lately for something I can't influence). He doesn't say weather or when Ill get the data, and gave me no time to pull it. Can/should I go to the police? I just want my data back, but I don't know if I can do anything as it was free (no contract).
Switzerland, btw.5 -
Okay so I have a stressball, but the kind of fucked up stress I was in the last two days required more than just my stressball.. I Okay so I have a stressball, but the kind of fucked up stress I was in the last two days required more than just my stressball.. I really need a punching bag..
FUCK!!
EDIT:
I'm not only feeling stressed, but I also have A LOT of anger inside me.2 -
The worst? There is a company called Colleseum Software that makes a piece of shitware called Aimi Ebook. It was supposed to let you send your FFL paperwork directly so you could do background checks before letting people walk out of your store with a gun. The company itself is a bag of dick, and whenever there were problems, they would put together some shitty solution like using a bat file on our server to keep their stupid service from fucking all over itself. I encountered this when I was working for an MSP handling IT needs and I don't know that I've encountered anything worse.
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Heads up , not a tech rant
So I now know what you should say if your kid asks what kind of person you should or should not be
So in the picture (sorry it isn’t clear , was taken late night after work) was a common parking area , the bikes parked you see are parked leaving space between at least for 2 more bikes. The owners usually park it that way cos they are too lazy to “properly park”. I confronted them last month and they said they’ll look into it , they have been contacted by various people from my area about this mattter , but it seems they don’t think it matters
So kids , learn to be considerate and not a douche bag , learn to listen and act , not act and listen , and last of all , learn to be a better person , that’s what humans have been trying to do for hundreds of years
1 -
Hey I recently started working and had a few questions regarding fulfillment and sideprojects.
Although I am a game programmer now, the game we are making is not at all something I find interesting. I find myself wanting to work on some side Projects at home but its difficult to manage my time (obviously) and I cant really relax.
I do enjoy the work making the game, like, I like making the systems, I enjoy programming it, but I dislike the gameplay and the games thematics, so its a mixed bag.
I only worked there for 2 months and the game takes at least all of next year to be made. I dont want to quit, because its my first job and all and it would be stupid I dont really habe a reason to quit.
I guess I just want to hear how others are handling a situation like this2 -
Coworker during standup this morning: yeah i couldn't work saturday on the project because of VPN problems but i'll stay longer today.
Scrum master goes home.
Coworker, literally 8:10 hours later. Goes home.
He bugfixed another project for an hour and told me i had to work on this project instead of helping another client.
Meanwhile he's bragging about all the experience he has and telling he wants to be the lead dev.
I thought he started early but nope. First drank coffee for another 15 minutes.2 -
I’ve been ill and injured a lot over the last 8 months or so, and i also quit smoking 2 months ago so I’ve put on a bit of extra padding.
I need to loose weight as I’m getting married in August and I want my suit to fit.
Anyway I’ve started eating a little bit healthier, and I’m gradually getting back into exercise (taking it slowly as don’t want to re-injur myself, and need to get my body used to it again)
This has presented 2 problems, the first is that after a run I smell like a tramps ball bag, and the second is I’m impatient and can’t do the sort of training that I used to do.
But, onwards and upwards, and even with no exercise I can still run 2 miles non stop in less than 20 minutes, not going to win any awards but not too bad all things considered.1 -
Yeah he was officially free today but he still managed to come a couple of hours. Fucking asshole go fix your fucking code damn idiot. This whole site is broken. Thanx mr wannabe a leaddev. Hope you crash with your damn racecar2
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Wow! My rights to merge work is just revoked. This is fucking bullshit. Whenever i want to merge my work the project lead has to do it. And when he’s sick ill have to go to the fe lead, who is in meetings 24/7. Fucking great2
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Lol. Because there aren’t backend resources available, frontenders are now implementing Backend functionalitiet with JS. -_-‘3
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Following on from my thread where I got wrecked for being brain damaged, and posting about dividing by zero, it is time for round two!
Lightening round: Electric boogaloo!
Episode 3: "Glutton for punishment"
You can read that thread here if you like or skip over.
https://devrant.com/rants/4931841/...
Can we divide by zero? Is there some representation where thats the case? And what are the implications if we can?
In this round Devranters, you will be challenged to determine if OP is 1. insane, 2. a genius, 3. high on mushrooms. One contestant will be eliminated. The winning team will get a bag of rice and sunscreen, while the other team will have to vote to send someone home from the island.
Get ready.
Heres the full rant because DR wouldn't post it for some reason:
https://pastebin.com/qBg80ujN42 -
Skinned my mother alive. She didn’t feel a thing. Threw away everything except the skin itself, but left the head intact. She’s alive and well, albeit can’t move. I roll her up, pack her in my bag and bring her to school with me.
She wasn’t quite against it, but wasn’t happy either. Just kept talking to me condescendingly, as usual.
Meanwhile, my grandpa recreated his room in Excel and moved there.6 -
EVACUATE NOW! Early this morning I was woken by the fire alarm at my apartment. I jumped out of bed and immediately reached for my laptop. After carefully sliding it into its bag (top side up of course), I grasped it tightly, took a deep breath and ran to safety.2
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Am I weird if I decline lucrative job offers just to have a job that is fun and kinda meaningful even if I don't push my limits here, but they really can use my expertise? On related note, is there a bag of money that would convince you to do some boring job in corporate environment working on some fucked up internal systems of some fucked up bank? I found out that twice my current salary is not enough but tempting. Am I weird?2
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Do you know that lady who waits in line at the grocery store for ages and when it's finally her turn she suddenly realizes that she might need her wallet somewhere from the bottom of her bag?
That's our current business analyst managing external dependencies like a boss... :D -
Has anyone here tried to run Linux on a Dell Latitude 7480? And if so, how'd it go?
I can't decide on what laptop I want for Christmas, it's either a XPS 13 or a Latitude 7480. I know the xps has good Linux support but the 7480 seems to be a mixed bag. If I choose the xps, I'd have to get some dongles as well sine it doesn't even have a HDMI port. Opinions? 🤔6 -
A Dell laptop, specifically the Inspiron one, they never sleep, so I had to do the crime, multiple times a day, it craps itself, it's AMD chip is shit, it's drivers are the word, and last but not least, this laptop was replaced like 6 FUCKING TIMES, and sometimes I used to be in critical situations where I had to use a laptop and guess what, it didn't want to turn on.
So dell, never again.
One day, I was traveling back home from college, and had my laptop in my bag, and guess what I found out when I got home, the plastic parts in the bag fucking melted, ruined my notebooks, and my bag.
Not to mention it's terrible performance thanks to it's drivers while developing shit with Android studio, you know how it is.
In short, don't buy a Dell product. Ever.4 -
If you build a company on the blockchain you're basically committing to 100% transparency with your investors if you fail to increase the value of your token or coin your investors will be left holding the bag. 💰5
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I'm a bit cornered. A week into an ambitious refactoring effort that was supposed to take just a couple of days to finish, the end doesn't seem anywhere near. The system went from a messy albeit perfectly functional state to a much better structured non functional bag of bugs. If I leave the branch all the efforts are lost. If I soldier forward I'll be unproductive for good knows how many days to come.
How did I ever fuck myself so hard!1 -
Why does some users feel like their rating will pay bros rent. The shit is free if u don't like it or u don't find it comfy fucking uninstall or build ur own fucking server, douche bag!
7 -
So today I went to a nearby computer shop to buy the Asus Vivobook 15.
Left that shop with not only the laptop and it's free bag, but also a free USB flashdrive, a free set of 6 glasses and a free set of casseroles!
Getting kitchenware items was the last thing I expected from a computer shop.
The sales lady was really nice too. I'm really glad I bought it offline than ordering it online, the price was same as well.3 -
Ya know when somebody else is on a project and you see their code and it's just sorta stay away from that bag of crazy? Like, some people I work with I see their code and it's fine, then I see some people's code and my eyes start to bleed.
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Hey guys.
Doing my first tutorial... (starting slow). Need help with translation.
How is the item in the picture called in English? It's a plastic bag to place papers and documents inside
25 -
I'm curious, why do you guys seem to always put up with "I changed my mind, I need it by Friday" kind of requests? "I've pulled an all-nighter, because customer wanted it before the holidays" - didn't you agree to do it after the holidays? Did the customer come by with a bag of money for you to put away everything else for them? Even if you do get paid extra, do you really get that much more to make your suffering worth it?6
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Thanks, devRant, for invaluable lessons on how to handle online harassment. Now I have better chances of not making an internet punching bag out of myself when I’m famous.14
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Dear JIRA... Fuck!
Why can't you offer integration with TFS? You used to! Now you'll go down in the bag of unused software. Right next to iTunes for Windows.1 -
Me: I will add something to the email.
Other Dev: Eat a bag of dicks?
Me: No this is going to a client, so eat a bag of penises or male genitalia. -
Guess who is running teo projects at the same time. F’d up planning over here. Seriously i’m bothered by 5 people at the same time. How the heck am i supposed to work like this?
-
Director walked in asking about the new homepage which we’re currently running an A/B test for. This page has been made and discussed by her direct colleague, the general director.
While walking though the page together with my colleage the designer the encounter a broken link.
Easy to fix ofcourse, and so we did, but shortly after he went back to hos room my colleage got an email asking who was responsible for this mistake.
It’s not one person. In first instance it’s our 6 headed web team. But after we deliver it multiple people test the page, and also the company who creates the A/B test sees tests and confirms.
This all happened during my holidays, but still i feel also responsible.
Couple of tiny mistakes, and still nobody in this whole process notices.
(At least 10 persons)
HOW THE HELL is that possible?!3 -
So we have a demo tomorrow and it looks like i’m going to have to do it all on my own. Thats a first. I can already get a client frustrated whenever they are on the phone.2
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So I’m the frontend developer in this company. I am the one with 10 years of experience when it comes to html, css and js.
How can it be then that I’m not invited to frontend meetings?
I checked the meetings colleages have and came across a excel sheet. My name is mentioned about 10 times in this sheet. Which was what the meeting was about. However I am not a part of this? Wtf?2 -
Coworker is trying to make me look bad by posting a piece of code in the group chat...
Nobody reacts.
Winning1 -
!rant
It's my nephew's 12th birthday next week and I'd like to get a rasp pi kit with RetroPie and the NES controllers. Are there any decent UK suppliers that you know of? I've spent the morning looking and it's a mixed bag.4 -
!rant
Since I see a lot of mixed opinions all over the place; is Python considered to be a "douche bag" language? :S
It just makes me feel self-conscious since that's the language I'm by far most familiar with... :( Should I consider focusing on another language instead?9 -
Anybody has a good recommendation for a laptop for mostly full stack web development?
I think I should look for following features:
- minimum 16G ram
- Althought is 2021, just in case, I add: usb C to connect to a dock with two screens and SSD
- I'll run several docker containers at once
- time to time I make non-exhaustive work on c++
- good screen dpi
- I use linux
- portable. No need for the lighter in the market but easy to carry in a bag. Good battery.
- not too expensive
I can save on:
- I don't need the latest processor, just a good one
- I'm not a gamer. I not need the latest GPU. However, some GPU is appreciated. I don't need colorful leds neither.
Do you have any recommendations on laptops and/or features to search for/avoid?8 -
SMH at parents who fall for online scams, and won't listen to me, their computer science educated son, that it is indeed a scam and do not pay them $400 to fix a pop-up.
-
I have a whole bag of pills to eat that make me sicker instead of better while I have a lot of studying and writing to do. Doc says I have to be diligent with pills but like...what of my goals? I'll also not get better if I don't eat the pills. What a conundrum.7
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I don't think ranters here from first world countries (US/UK/Canada etc) realize what a big deal it is when companies from these countries hire South Asian companies (like India, Pakistan, Bangladesh) for their out-sourcing work.
I have seen some career building centers with people giving testimonials like "My mother tongue is Hindi and I was always afraid to talk to US/UK clients. But now that I took a course here, I can talk to them with confidence.".
People here throw themselves at these companies' feet begging for a contract. Gotta get that currency converted bag am I right?
I worked at a company and one day someone from London hired us for work and the boss threw a small party cuz "Someone from LONDON is hiring us omg".
Makes me wonder, this is why third world countries like us have such a good IT infrastructure.1 -
Anybody notice spam is just getting worse and worse? Fucking scum bags spamming me every year about conferences for my current company. I also get a bunch of scum bag spam on my home addresses. One account is practically brand new. I made the mistake of contacting robin hood trading on this account and now I get stupid scam spam on there.
I want to stay professional on the pro emails, but I just want to scream and call them of a bunch scum bags.
If someone wanted to do humanity a favor it would be depopulating spammers from the Earth. This would lower frustration levels on the planet immediately. Scammers and spammers are all the same.2 -
Biggest regret: Staying at my current dev job through the bad times (which started a week into the job). I've been here 2 years now, the first was a complete waste of my time, I was rudely managed and dumped on the projects nobody wanted. They were a complete miss-match for my skill set and not what I was told the job was about. In my first annual review I said I was applying for other jobs, I got moved to R&D within a couple of weeks, it's been better work and management wise but there's a perpetual threat of being moved back. I have my second annual review tomorrow. The money isn't great. The experience has been a mixed bag. After the first year it was quite interesting. But I probably won't be staying long.2
-
Paycheck currently isn't compensating the current workload anymore.
I feel like we are missing 10 couple of hands while only three people are on vacation1 -
Is it just me, or does objective c look like a bag of smashed assholes? It looks clumsy and verbose.3
-
When i enrolled for cs degree, mom tells her friends that i won't /don't need an office, she says that my office is in the laptop and the bag..
-
So, a new coworker started here about two months ago. He's all about talking but the actions aren't very fast.
I looked at my Pull Request and this guy is writing comments for 5. Where the hell did he get the balls from? Seriously!
Please stand next to the designer so i can slap both of you bitches. -
My planning says i’m working on project A and B this week. Scrummaster (who also makes the planning) says i’m working on project C and D.
So much for the reliability of planning here. -
Any non-tech hobby usually helps my coding, because relaxing breaks are far more efficient if I'm not just laying in a bean bag trying not to think about work but rather engaged in something unrelated. During the summer I was storing a really good electric guitar because the owner emigrated, so when I felt stuck I played some music. I used to play the cello in middle school but I was never really good at it nor did I care to practice properly because it felt a lot like yet another class to attend. Apparently music practice works whether you do it in one long or several short rounds as long as the total time is enough.1
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So, we should be done with the redesign project for this site and a while back we got feedback from the client.
Now getting feedback isn't a bad thing, until you get 6 pages of feedback.
6 pages of feedback. It took me several hours to plow through it and check everything.
That was three weeks ago. They now want me to check the entire fucking list again, and then some more.
SERIOUSLY?!
When i started hete i was told that this was one of the easiest clients the company had. Because they see us as the experts. Haha.
Appearently not anymore.2 -
Wah wah wah, my teacher is yelling at me because I wasn't allowed to use my fancy Pant tech instead of what was required because I think it's shit but never bothered to ask for permission beforehand and now I'm bitching about it on here.
Man, eat a bag of dicks. You didn't do what was required, without coordinating with your teacher.
And you think their way of doing shit is retarded? That's essentially every other customer you'll ever have. Grow the fuck up.1 -
I sometimes think there should be a little foldeable table in front of my toilet to put my laptop on, and a water proof water bag to use it in shower... Now I think I might have a problem
-
Starting my first dev job next week (except for freelance work) and I'm crazy nervous that I'm going to make some huge mistake and look really stupid. Did anyone else have these fears before their first dev job and, if so, how'd you stay at least a little confident?4
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Am i the only one who stop watching conference whenever a Windows developer comes in and try to give his piece of shitty advice cause trust me guy 99% of times this advice is linked to some shitty promotion of their twat service their cloud,test labs whatever . Fucking waste of one hour . Microsoft is a bag of shit company
-
Finally the site is live. Today all stress was gone again. Still a pity that i have 7 pull requests out of 10.
-
While at a *coding* conference, with lots and lots of techy devs in attendance, many using mobile devices, a vendor decided to hold a hacking contest. Hack their little problem, get a t-shirt. Hack their big problem, get a bigger prize. I go to their website and notice:
1) they force me to create an account to do either problem.
2) the fucking bag of salty dicks can't even manage to make a responsive website. I mean, I could have fixed that for the cocksuckers while at the conference. But no, the shit company comes to a place full of devs and has a shitty website. Like, make your eyes bleed like a leaky sack of vaginas, bad.
I solved their little problem as fast as I could and deleted my account out of spite. -
Applied to 4 companies last weekend. One of them didnt even have proper working contact forms (they all gave somekind of 503 error).
I even took the effort to just mail them my resumé, do i receive an answer that they are looking for someone with React experience.
I looked over the function a second time, no mention of React anywhere.
To whoever is working over there or ever going to work over there; i already feel sorry for you. -
Wondering: What does define a BIG project for you?
I just noticed we're approaching the deadline and there are at least 6000 lines of css. Not my personal biggest so far in terms of lines. I think i worked on projects with 10.000 lines9 -
Which umbrella do you guys use? I'm looking an umbrella for rain and should be portable so that I can fold and put it on my bag.6
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We have a new official and probably for now final Lead Developer.
Asking questions like: What happens after is push code to bitbucket? -_-‘
Next time i’ll answer that the building will explode. -
So, been working for almost 2 weeks now at the new job. Worked fairly much on one of their sites and today they have a meeting with the client regarding this site. Ofcourse now is the moment for this site to be f'd up. OFCOURSE!
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Does anyone here knows some efficiant way for stupid Broadcom wifi card to work efficiant on linux? Its Bcm43142. I recently transfered on Manjaro by suggestion of fellow ranters, but little that I knew or I wanted to forget from earlier experiences that Broadcom is bag of balls that noone wants and that it doesnt work correctly on any distro. I'm feeling like protagonist of that meme "C'mon, do something...". I really dont want to give up on linux once again cuz of dump wifi controller.7
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Wanted to remove a underline from links that was seemly coming from a default cmd css.
Even with !important it wasn't working. Why? Why wasn't it just working?
30m later i found out i selected text-underline instead of decoration. -_-'
After 8 years i feel so stupid, i should just like i should apply at mcDonalds and just start flippin burgers... -
so now I have to use the web devrant client because i stupidly dropped my phone in the sink.I put it in a bag of rice.hopefully it shall work.Im thinking a bit of water went through the micro usb and the headphone jack.2
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Dude I work with doing Windows developing gets hit by ransomware. He thinks it came through a VSCode extension. So I go looking and find this:
https://bleepingcomputer.com/news/...
The guy was demanding $10K. The amount of work lost would not be equal to that. We are just gonna wipe it and rebuild the computer. What a scum bag.
How do you detect this kind of stuff early?2 -
Why does symfony freezer the container after compiling it? I understand that because of its shit design they require to pre-compile the container because if they didnt their framework would be the slowest piece of shit ever and nobody would use it, but why freeze the parameter bag?
Load the compiled container from the cache, then let me override and set dynamic variables on top if I want, its just a keystore, so it just seems pedantic, unhelpful and utterly pointless2 -
If you are one one the retards who has/would buy a fjall raven bag, please throw yourself in front of a moving train. Thanks.4
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Any good free HTML5-CSS3 visualization tool for Java Swing?
I did my research and gave up (tried 3, 1 was paid and 2 didn't work) ended up using JFreeChart, but the Grid Bag Layout is giving me some headaches, if you have any idea, you're welcome.1 -
This person has never heard of the saying that there is no 'I' in team. He just focuses on the code not communicating whatsoever. F*CKtard
Meanwhile i'm trying to fix everything that broke down since yesterday 00:00.
Meanwhile other coworkers are also screaming their project is on fire...
should i quit?2 -
Kind of continuation of this my other rant https://devrant.com/rants/2345105/...
I have now reached the point where I want to tear off my exes with my own hands, turn off my brain and "unsee" what's in this garbage bag of code.
I swear to the programmer's gods (assuming something like this do exist apart from the D&D Story in my brain) if I do see another GLOBAL variable I'm gonna kill somebody!
It will take me good part of 2020 to sanitize this shit! -
//TODO:Describe your day with block of code
using Friend.Drive;
using Coffie.Machine;
using MyCheck;
namespace Raspik.Week.Thursday
{
public class Init
{
#region Morning
public void Init()
{
this.status = _status.WakeUp;
this._getReadyToWork(Coffee, Closes, Laptop Bag);
bool success = this.getToBus();
if(!success)
Friend.Drive.ToWork(Beer,ListenToMetal());
Coffee.Machine.DoubleEspresso();
MyCheck.WorkOn(Jira.Moderate, Jira.Blocker);
#endregion
#region Noon
this._eatFood(Beef,Ale)
this._devRant.CheckInteresting();
this._facebook.CheckInteresting();
this._workEvents += new EventHander(InternetStatus);
this._coolEvents +=new EventHandler(Purge_Nerf_War);
MyCheck.WorkOn(Jira.All);
MyCheck.HappyHour(Beer,Whiskey);
MyCheck.OnlineMeeting(Client);
this.GoHome(Friend.Drive.Home);
#endregion
#region Evening
while(true)
this._baby.Diaper.Change;
this._goToSleep(this.KissWifeAndChild));
}
}3 -
Goddammit, newb here is busy in an old project of mine. I don’t have time for guidance and he’s just going to fuck things up now. Pretty sure about that.
Who will be the one cleaning up the mess next week?
Me!1 -
Do you know how epic coding sessions van become when you turn on classic radio on Spotify and LOTR comes along?
-
Tomorrow I'm going to my first international travel, and it isn't just that, I'm also going to work there.
Am I nervous? A lit lot hehe
Am I ready for it? I'm not sure, even my bag isn't ready for it.
But I hope that everything will be alright and in the end of day, if nothing goes well, I'm gonna know that it is going to be a great experience
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