Best story ever

This really happened to me yesterday at work.

Me: *walks into office*
Coworker: Hey Will, I got a question for you
Me: I...[read more]

My conversation with my wife today, while I was at work:

Wife: The wifi isn't working.
Me: What's it doing?
W: Not working
Me: Try turning it off an on again.
.
.
.
Me: Is your phone on LTE? Or is it connected to wifi and the internet isn't working?
W: LTE. Aubrey (my wife's sister) said she turned it off and nothing happened.
Me: did she turn it back on?
W: Do you really want me to answer that?
Me: Just making sure. What lights are on on the router?
W: (Sends me a picture of the router with no lights on)
Me:...
W: Oh it isn't even plugged in
Me:...
W (after a couple minutes): Its working now!

YES I REALLY WANT YOU TO ANSWER IF YOU TURNED IT BACK ON!

So this just happened:

Sarah = best friend (random name)

Sister: Hey, could you help, sarah's phone isn't recognized by her computer anymore.
Me: What phone/pc does she have?
Sister: iPhone/Windows.
Me: Has she checked the drivers?
Sister: *tells to check drivers, feedback:* yes, seems to be fine.
Me: *comes up with 1000 other suggestions*
Sister: *doesn't work every time*
Me: Is there any other information that might be useful in this case?
Sister: Well, she dropped her phone in the water earlier, the phone is hardly responding.
Me: THE WAT? AND YOU DIDN'T THINK THIS WOULD BE WORTH MENTIONING IN THE BEGINNING?!? FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU.

Happened just now:
Client: Please remove this page from the site ASAP, and tell me when its done.
Me: Done
Client: what's wrong am getting an error code(404) when I click on the link.

Am not sure how to reply to that

This happened few hours ago.

Client: I received an email which says that I won 1 million dollars. They gave me a link in the email, when I entered my credit card details nothing happened.
Me: Wait what? You entered your credit card details.
Client: Yes
Me: That was a scam, you didn’t win anything. They stole your credit details. Contact your bank ASAP and let them know about this.
Client: You guys are handling our email servers, why can’t you guys keep it safe. What type of security do you guys provide.
Me: Wait what? We host your website application not email.
Client: Damn it. My son said the same thing, but I didn’t listen to him. Anyways Cheers.

Me: *accidentally opens DevTools*

1.269427 milliseconds later...

Person: TEACHER! He’s HACKING INTO GOOGLE DRIVE!!!

Teacher: *glances at computer* Oh my gosh! That is ILLEGAL! Go to the office immediately.

I reluctantly headed to the office and calmly explained what happened. Luckily, some people have a bit of common sense and let me go.

Happened to me 2 times :D. How about you?

When someone's calls and completely loses his shit (swearing etc etc) because we HAVE TO FUCKING HELP HIM BECAUSE THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE RELY ON THIS SITE WHICH IS DOWN.
Explained him calmly that its an unmanaged server which we literally don't have access to. Keeps on calling me all kinda things and then says he'll email some login details.

Bossman walks in, collegue goes like 'yo guess what just happened with linuxxx!'
Le me explains the story.

Bossman: email me his number. I'm going to call him. You treat my employees with fucking respect.

Windows, you fucking idiot! You scheduled that damn update and now you have the balls to ask me what happened?!

Another one, teach secure programming for fucks sake! This always happened at my study:

Me: so you're teaching the students doing mysql queries with php, why not teach them PDO/prepared statements by default? Then they'll know how to securely run queries from the start!
Teachers: nah, we just want to go with the basics for now!

Me: why not teach the students hashing through secure algorithms instead of always using md5?
Teacher: nah, we just want to make sure they know the basics :)

For fucks fucking sake, take your fucking responsibilities.

Happened during an exam!
Had a viva session after the exam

Examiner: how much do you know about Linux
Me: (pulls out phone and shows him the kernel I have been working on)
Examiner (to other teacher): give him full marks already

2 years ago: Connection goes down at the office

Boss: -"Damnit, you are responsible to ensure uptime. Fix a redundant connection asap."

Me: Fixes redundant connection

Today: Connection goes down at the office, failover connection does not work.

Me: Calls ISP and asks what's happened.

ISP: -"Your boss cancelled the account 3 months ago"

...

Guy: dot net dev (C#) on windows. (desktop + server)
Team(not his team, he just happened to sit next to us): php/frontend devs and Linux (server) people.

Team: starting a new project! We'll have to see what framework to use and what server :D
Guy: i know it's none of my business...... but I'd recommend dot net and windows server!
Me: respectfully, that hardly makes sense, you know our skillset/field... i understand that it works for you but it doesn't really for us :).
Next to that we'd rather not use windows for security reasons.

It's fine if that happens once.

When it happened for the 1748472823'th time, I had a real hard time controlling myself.

*trying to find bug*
Me: Hmm, let's do grocery shopping.
*getting ready, locking everything up*
*standing outside for three seconds*
*realizes what the bug must be*
*opens everything again and fixes bug*
*locks everything up for the second time*
*Goes grocery shopping*

So that just happened.

A Man from the toilet shouts to his wife :
- Darling, darling, do you hear me?!!!!
- What happened, did you run out of toilet paper?
- No, restart the router, please!

Something that I'm utterly ashamed of.

Had to add text message and call communication functionality in one of the products.

Boss shrunk the deadline to two days ETA.

Didn't know jackshit about twilio.

Meeting with client:

Client - So the communication thing is done right?
Me - Yyeahhh
Client - Let's try it then. *Calls himself*
Me - *Calls the API directly from my phone*

Client got out happy. Nobody knows what actually happened there. I didn't even talk to my colleagues about this. Boss gave me bonus to pull of the impossible. I added the feature after a week of the incident.

This really did happened to me in school.

relationship with dev perks (just happened):
GF : *bad mood* i'm hungry
Me : Let's go get some food ! *trying to cheer her up*
GF : No.
Me : Ok, whatever you say.
GF : Do you really wa--
Me : Whaat? you said "No"?
GF : Don't you see abstraction in my face?
Me : so what ? you want me to Implement it?
GF : NO. PUT IT IN YOUR GODDAMN MAIN FUNCTION.
Me : ok let's go *still don't understand what she meant*
GF : Good Job.

This actually happened today

Colleague: Hey man I think there's a problem with my computer.

Me: Alright, I'll check it out.

(I go to his desk and find that his screen was turned off)

Colleague: It just suddenly turned off.

Me: (presses a random key on his keyboard)

(Screen lights up)

When something goes wrong at work, my boss will blame the first dev in his vicinity ...

Boss: "what the hell happened? why are the servers down?! This is unacceptable! Blah blah etc etc"

Me: "I dunno. Let me review if my CSS had anything to do with it" 😑😩

This just happened:

Boss: "Hey I can't send this mail, can you take a look?"
Le Me: *looking at the logs*
Le Me: "Your mail gets a spamscore of 2007.69 of max 2000. There is a virus in your mail."
Boss: "oh."

And it was a mail which he received from somebody and wanted to forward....

Corporate IT: Here at Company A we are very proactive about CyberSecurity!

Dev: What is our cybersecurity plan?

Corporate IT: If any breaches happen we will terminate those involved and discontinue use of the offending product

Dev: That sounds reactive to me

Corporate IT: 😡 It’s proactive actually as we put together that plan of action BEFORE anything happened!

Dev: …

Happened on my first day in internship :

Me: Hey, I'm not allowed to install anything, could you install me Sublime Text?
Boss: yeah sure, hold on, I'm granting you admin rights
Me: ...

This happened a month or so ago. I wanted a tablet for more easy/portable server management (JuiceSSH) so I went to a second hand tech store (a good/reliable one) and this guy asked me right away what I was looking for.

"a tablet!"

I pointed at a specific one and he grabbed it and walked me to the cash desk to take a look at it.

"what do you want to use it for?"
"server management mostly"

Then this other guy behind the desk looked at me with this view in his eyes like:

"fucking try-hard"

The employee helping me also looked strangeish at me

😅

So this happened today. I'm bad at remembering names so I always have to ask again.

for($i=0;$i<15;$i++)
{
Me: what was your name again?
Client: well, it still IS {name}. I'm still alive, you know.
😅😰
}

Colleagues noticed it as well 😅

Female friend in office
"It feels so nice that we have a computer science grad with us. How else would have we managed to set up the printer without you?"

Not kidding. This actually happened with me.

Okay, it just happened to me.

Researching jobs, found one that requires ReactJS 7+ years of experience.

Initial release: May 29, 2013; 5 years ago

Actually happened to me last year.

!!!rant
Actually happened to me , once.

The first time I tried to use an image as a background, this happened and it freaked me out lmao. Then I realized my mistake

That moment when the resident IT guy/teacher at your school comes to you at lunch and you look sad.
Me: Hello.
Teacher: What happened?
Me: Batteries almsot dead :(
Teacher: Well, I've got good news for you. I was talking to the school director about you.
Me: Um ... shit
Teacher: We're looking to get you an intership at the company that does networking shit for us (Netcom, anybody?)
Me: FUCK YEAH ... thanks!
*Day brightened by angelic light*

Windows tells me to „contact the network administrator“.
I yell at the machine: „I AM THE ADMINISTRATOR!!!1!“

Why is Microsoft doing this? Instead of telling me what exactly went wrong, the come up with messages like
“Something happened”
“This is not possible”
“Error 0x2342133723”
“Do you want to ask a Friend?”

I really hope the authors of those error messages will burn in hell for that!

The weirdest shit happened today. My 14 year old sister comes to me and asks me that she has a million dollar app idea that I should make her so that she can put it on the app stores and earn.
THE PLAGUE HAS SPREADDD😱

User: Why did you cleaned my recycle bin? I had important documents there!

Happened to me a long time ago. The user was one of the managers... 🐒

Please make an entire webshop with animated shopping cart in react + redux within a week 👍

We will then reject you for the position and thank you for rewriting our tech stack for the frontend 😂 K THX BAIII

>Wife texts me to buy her 10 oranges on the way home from work
>Arrive home with 2 oranges thanks to working with binary..

Believe it or not this actually happened after I had just finished a whole binary-related project over the span of around a month.

Guys, my unfortunately daily rant of my pm

I was told to create a docker env for our team. Good. Document the process so everyone can know what to do. Good.

My PM follows what he wants to instead of step by step and changes whatever he wants to.

I am asked for help because he doesnt know. No prob.

Me: "Do this, do this and.."
PM: "that doesnt matter, trust me, I could change it and.."
Me: "...and it wont work"
PM: "I know suff too, check" *does his changes aaaaaand doesnt work*
* awkward staring*

That happened a while ago.
This week, he crashed his git repo because he was doing things in docker team (including him) decided not to.

Took me more enough time explaining him "you are not supposed to do that in the container" funny fact he wanted to prove that his way was right and even if he did my way it would crash.

Sooooo he did my way just to prove how wrong I was. Everything worked flawlessly. Rage-still-awkward staring.

Plus the "aww that's weird. I dont know how this happened"

1st post. Not sure if rant.

> Join 1st job after college.
> Desk assigned is close to a senior dev
> Random day, QA asks senior dev questions on something and coincidentally I happened to be working on the same thing.
> Senior dev borrows my system and explains qa something.
> By the end of explanation senior dev had bunch of shell commands written on notepasd on my machine.
> I don't understand jack shit of whats happening.
> QA looks at me and says, "Ping me once."
> I think, "no idea what just happened but must be something related to network ."
> I open terminal and type "ping" and quitely wait for further instructions (address to ping that is).
> Everyone starts laughing their asses off.
> QA guy opens slack, and sends himself the commands on text document.
> I realize what just happened
> Laugh awkwardly with everyone to ease the pressure
> FML

Had devRant installed for a while now and finally have something worth sharing.

This happened in my last Python lab at uni:
Me: *Working away at this week's assignment*
Dude next to me: You know last week's assignment?
Me: Yes?
Dude: Did you test you solutions to the exercises?
Me: Yes
Dude: Oh, I didn't. Do you think I'll lose marks?
Me: Yes

I can only hope I'm not forced to work with this guy on group assignments...

So back in January 2015 I bought my first Mac and wanted to learn Swift. Coming from .Net C# IBOutlet was anew concept for me, had to search for how to make a button event and Google gave that 😐

**I just googled it for the sake of this rant but ya it happened 😅

A child is deleting all the necessary files required to run games, softwares etc.. He thinks they're virus just because he can't open and play with them.
Now he clicked on game.exe to play his favourite game but this happened:
"Error: blah blah
xyz file is missing"

He is confused. He is blaming his father for buying the worst computer for him

This child is me, 8 yrs ago :')

!dev

It's raining. I love it.
It's foggy. I love it.

But I live in a desert and nobody here seems to know how to handle the rain, let alone the fog. (It isn't hard, people!) Last night during my ~30 min drive home from work, five separate accidents/collisions happened just a little ways behind me because it was raining. Now it's foggy, too.

I have to go to work.
I'm scared.

!rant but True story!

OMG, my coworker (rather elderly if it matters), asked if he needs to open webapp in internet exploder.. < - It was intentional, but this happened in convo over morning coffe and me and some other guy almost choked with laugher & coffee..

Fucking brilliant! IE = Internet EXPLODEr! Love it!

Man, I love my coworkers (some)!!!!

Just happened at my internship:
Guy: hey could you come over here for a sec and look at this problem?
me: Sure! *walks to table*
guy: the FTP server isn't working. I added config files etc but nothing!!
me: *does some terminal stuff*
me: uhm.... the ftp server isn't installed......
guy: *poker face*
guy: *poker face*
guy: *poker face*
guy: *plz don't tell anyone face*
guy: could you pls install? *desperate look*

Friend :- Dude i made some changes and the code is not working now.
Me:- Bro, Do you even GIT it?
Friend :- No i don't GET it how it happened and how to restore it.
Me :- You destroyed my pun and my faith in your development skills -_-.

My coding-senpai placed this PHP code (before he left) to my org's custom-footer due to a feud that happened months ago

it flooded their cPanel with folders with '.log' as their extension everytime someone visits their website

I LOL'D UNTIL
..They hired me to clean it up :^(

They got over 700,000 of these folders
#feelsbadman

Had to switch to a MacBook due to my new employer and the layout is driving me crazy!

Almost 20 years I've been typing the @ by altgr+q (German layout).

At the same position is now command.

And command+q closes the current window instantly.

This happened almost 10 times today...

tHIS HAPPENED TO ME SOMETIME.

Last month I discovered my girlfriend created a GitHub account some time ago just because she saw the icon was like a cat in the Discord Connections settings and was curious about what it was.
That's the most adorable dev-related thing that has ever happened to me.

Tragedies of Non-Technical Boss:

Boss: What happened yesterday, tried reaching you several times, you were just unavailable!

Me: My wifi stopped working as there was some issue at the ISP's end.

Boss: You could've atleast dropped a skype message that your internet is not working!

Me: Yes sir but the internet was not working, so I couldn't drop that message too!!

Boss: But you should have, I was in panic what happened to you...You were alright or not?...

Me: Yup I know, I didn't see the wifi tragedy coming.

Boss: If ever the internet goes down or anything sort of that happens just drop me a text on skype, that your internet is not working. Okay!

Me: *Confused* as to if he is high or just not listening to what I am saying...

Happened half a year ago (parents both use Linux although they're very a-techie).

*Dads laptop comes back from store after a repair*
Dad: (on the phone) hello son, could you help me out? they put some weird stuff on my laptop at the repair centre...
Me: Weird stuff? like what?
Dad: It's a virus I think
Me: A virus??
Dad: Definitely a virus!
Me: And what is this virus called?
Dad: Windows 10!
Me: Oh yes coming over asap to get that removed!

I put elementary OS on it again when i went to visit my parents.

A fucking shit happened.

I finished coding the front-end design of the website and pushed it to the PM and Boss to review. After 5 days, they came back and said that they made mistake. They gave me the wrong sitemap and design. 23rd June is the deadline, I hope they extend the deadline.

This happened a few years ago:

Cousin: So one of my friends is going to teach me how to hack.
Me: Oh so you know something about programming?
Cousin: No, I'm going to learn how to hack first, because that's way more awesome.

Based on a true story that happened right now.

Dad: "how do i download youtube videos?"

Me: "just google youtube downloader and download them from some site, thats how i do it"

Dad: "WHAT!!??? You want me to fucking google it? I dont know how to fucking google for those things, you're the IT guy and you should know how to do this, if I wanted to google it i wouldnt ask you for help. You know what, get the fuck out of my face i dont need ur help, get out"

*INCOMING CALL FROM MY NETWORK PROVIDER*

HI,

I'm calling from *my network provider* and I wanted to check if you would like to port to our network.

This happened 3 times in a day already. And now 4th time.

Me : Look man, I'm already on the same network and I don't need to port.

Guy : You should have told this to me in the beginning. You wasted my time in not doing that.

THIS CUM DRINKING PIECE OF SHIT PUNKASS BITCH MOTHERFUCKER COULDN'T DO A SIMPLE SEARCH ON HIS COMPUTER BEFORE GIVING ME A CALL AND THEN TELLS ME I WASTED HIS TIME.

First time showing my GitHub to some professionals, instant laughter and telling me that .gitignore exists... 3 years ago and I still feel embarrassed that happened.

Just solved two huge bugs in a private project without using Stack Overflow... Since when am I even able to do this? What happened to me?

I’ve had a complicated relationship with my mother for as long as I remember and made the decision years ago to more or less cut her out of my life. I thought if anything happened to her, I’d be okay, that it wouldn’t affect me.

But my mum died on Sunday.

And I’m not okay.

Excuse me, What the fuck?

This happened to me. some guy (or gal) rated my app 2 stars just because it couldn't download my app.

later on it replied me with a sorry message and said that app is really good. but it did'nt increased the stars 😑

!rant

Boss challenged me to get something done before a demo and he'd give me tomorrow off paid. I completed the task on the time and at the end of the day told him I was leaving for another position. He was totally calm, cool, professional and still gave me tomorrow off paid. I don't know how that happened. Life is good.

Today I announced to a customer (a shitty one) that we had lost all their data. When I was done explaining what happened, one of my employee turn to me and said :"oh! I know where the data are. I did a backup there". It was after 1 weeks of searching that the tech decided to tell us he knew where all the backup went... Now I have to call the customer again...

Fuck. You know you have overslept when you wake up and reach for your phone to check the time only to realise you aren't reaching for your phone, but instead you've fallen back asleep and are dreaming about reaching for your phone.

Just happened 3 times in a row to me -.-

A client was talking to me all day asking about my "hacking" experience.

I taught he was going to ask for a pen test for his trampoline website. At the end of the day, he revealed he wanted me to hack the "competition's databases" so he can promote his "very unique trampoline accessory".

Guess what happened? Nothing, cause fuck legal trouble!

Weirdest thing happened to me today.

My teacher spots me browsing "Hack This Site" and I'm sent to the tech lab for a "diagnostic test" ?????

do you ever get that feeling when you suddenly wake up from sleep and immediately have the solution that has been bothering you for weeks or is it just me?

it happened to me today. woke up and magically had a solution to a problem I had with unity (it works now).

When I was a kid I sleep walked often ..

Once I was about 7 I sleep walked to the computer and started playing the old pinball game on XP it was 11 my mum shouted at me to go to bed so in my sleep state.. I did

Next morning I had the high score 😔 😎

My mum told me what happened in the morning - im smarter when im dreaming

Didn't believe it till it happened to me!!
Was talking to a third year student...
Me: What languages can you code in?
Student: HTML, CSS
:/ FML
*facepalm*

my boss have a weird habit of asking plan to us...this happened today

boss: What's the team plan today?
me: Not getting frustrated..
other devs: <claps>

Me: I prefer to make sure dev is fully separated from prod, that way if we fuck up, it doesn't matter.

Manager: It's fine, the service isn't fully deployed and dev/prod are named differently.

Me: runs ansible script to stop dev
*prod breaks*

Me: Huh. Wonder why that happened.

Was having a hard time completing a project given to me on my Internship.

After a long time I heavy heartedly thought to ask my question on StackOverflow and this happened

Me : How can I do this??

Asshole User : Sorry mate, but what you are trying to do is impossible

Me : "Shows that it can be done"

Asshole User : Downvotes my question and deletes his comment

Me : 😐😐😐

Now my question has 3 more downvotes
Never using SO again !!

So this just happened... not to me, but at my friend's company.

The devs are being congratulated and spurred on for working late! I don't know about you, but this is not the kind of culture that should be encouraged.

Something strange just happened, activated Fail2ban on another server and instantly blocked me when I already had ssh session open >_>

Does macOS terminal keep on sending ssh authentication requests? Or is my OpenVPN that keeps on sending requests.

Why does this keep on happening to me T_T

So this just happened to me...

"Hours of debug can save you minutes of reading documentation"

Just happened to me

You know you are a geek when you try to shoo away a fly away from the monitor with your cursor. That just happened to me. It was scary...

Can anyone tell me what the hell happened here? GData is supposed to be good antivirus software, right? Been using it for years and suddenly it throws this error message on my mother's computer... WHY IS IT UPSIDE-DOWN???

I leave to visit a customer and leave my iPhone charger plugged into my computer.

I come back and my colleague has my charger, the converstaion goes as follows.

Me: "Can i have my charger back?, it was plugged into my machine before i left."
Colleague: "Why do you need it?"
Me: "To charge my phone?"
Colleague: "Yeah, but i need to charge mine"
*The cable is plugged into his phone, charging*
Me: "Yeah, but its my cable, that you took"
Colleague: "Just wait until I'm done"
Me: null

What has even happened lol

Got a complaint from users of my project. It’s finally happened: people give a shit to tell me I’m doing a bad job. Let’s fucking gooooo

Yesterday i bought train ticket to go home and at the ATM this happened :
@wowotek : tell me the exact price nominal
@aureliagbrl : 293,000 Rupiahs (~10 USD)
Me : *entering the nominal fast and rough* 2,930,000
A : hey careful you put too much zero--
Me: *just realize but i clicked the accept button too quickly* doesn't matter my savings is only 6 digits. *re entering the correct nominal*

...

Also Broke ass me : *cries in the corner*

Life is Hard.

Missing the first entry date for university was probably the best thing that happened to me.

Got to work full time and show off my expertise in "reallife scenarios" for nearly a year.

Best experience i could've made until now.

Haha this happened to me once! But it took me a week to figure it out and after re-writing the code and hours upon hours of googling

Don't you think it's unfair that a group project where only 2 out of 6 people actually worked their butt off for a whole school year but everyone 'miraculously' passes? Yeah, this happened to me. They stuck to my group like parasites just to pass

well, that happened to me!

being told to lead a team of junior developers for a project when i was 18

i never had any formal CS education so i thought the management was joking, but a week after, i was called into a meeting with the junior developers and we were tasked with a project that needs to be completed within 4 months, with me as the lead

the project was successful and after that im occasionally given the task to lead a project every now and then

this happened a few years ago and its still the most confidence-boosting experience ever happened to me, the things i learned during those 4 months are still applicable to my career today

Today something amazingly incredible happened, I met a nice guy on stackoverflow, he even asked me if he could edit my question to make it better, and did not reproach me for asking a RTFM question.

Today the 'restrict account' feature I made hit production. Restricted an account and got an angry email with broken english.
Funniest shit that happened today. Made me proud.

To top it off we might get free loadtesting lol

Happened at work a few months ago (I'm new to devRant, that's why I post this now):
"I have bugs!" - "Then fix them..." - "No, come here and have a look, I have bugs!"
He literally had a bunch of very small insects inside of his monitor, don't ask me how they got there.

lol... Just happened to me yesterday... "Hi ..."

Me: there goes lunch...

This just happened. What the actual fuck!

I'll try my shot to experience. They are bad that doesn't mean I shouldn't experience.

It'll give me some different perspective and learnings.

It's finally happened. I've let me favourite Spotify playlist grow to 140 songs. Far too big now. Stressful :|

age++;
work++;
learn++;

I hope this year will be as meaningful as this year was... and the best thing happened to me was coming to devrant and having support, warmth and love from you guys.

love ya all

So this is what happened!
It was a rainy Friday, I was asked to add a quick bug fix to a js application, I spent my Friday coding, testing ..., baam the patch is ready ... I wrote a nice commit message explains the problem and the fix but I didn't push the code.

On Monday the fuckin code disappeared, no commit no code no nothing no trace ... To be honest I don't know what happened. I rewrote everything on that Money morning (you can only imagine how pest I was)

I use vim with tmux.
I have done everything I could to figure out what happened to that commit, I even doubted If had did wrote the fix that Friday, but it's not possible to forget few hours of a day
I checked my commit history on the different branches i did everything

No trace ...
Conclusion
My machine is hunted ...
Or I have multiple personalities and one of them is a programmer and he is fucking with me

I love programming.. I really do.. But sometimes bugs drive me crazy... Long story short.. I'm getting a new laptop don't ask what happened to the other one

So I'm just wondering if this happened to everyone else because a few friends of mine at work have corroborated my experience.

So, when I was very young and just starting to learn PHP, I was trying to grasp OOP. I read and read about it and did the example tutorials and nothing really did it for me. Then one day, writing some scripts for a game I played, it just hit me. Literally like "oh.....I get it. That's why this is a thing."

When I was about 13, I opened up command prompt on Windows, and changed the color of it to green then ran the tree command. So, not thinking of anything, this was in the library in front of about 60 people and 2 teachers.

All others saw was green text going down fast, and instantly presumed that I was hacking since they knew I was into coding and finding exploits, and just knew how to use a computer better than them in simple terms (HACKER MAN). Thus this lead to me getting sent to the principal's office... I almost got suspended cause I ran the tree command in green.

Two questions for me remain unanswered, that I would love to know. What would've happened if command prompt was printing text in red. Another question becomes, what would've happened if people saw me pinging Google or some popular site.

Oh boy... something just happened I'd have never expected.
Remember my rants about the PHP CMS Of Doom™?
Guess what... the boss of said company just called me to offer me a job as their new tech lead. WTF.

I'd rather slowly impale myself on a rusy pickaxe.
I'd rather tattoo my face with a giant, pulsating, uncircimcised shlong.
I'd rather take a swim in a pool of Hydrogen fluoride.
I'd rather work 80h/wk on pimple extraction.

Did I tell you that X third party system needed to be updated due to that pos using flash? Yes

Did you bitch about budget constraints and finding workarounds and stuff like that? Also Yes

Did I mention that X system was crucial for people and that we were not going to be able to do anything about it if we did not allocate the time to modify that before it happened? Also Yes

Did I mentioned this on multiple occasions? Yes

Was my team also pulled out from working on the alternative before this happened? Yes

Did I send multiple emails about this, talks, meetings and documentation of me saying all of the above? You betcha

Oh well 🤡

Have I ever told you guys of the time that I had made my PM feel bad by saying I had to drop 3 classes because he was working me so hard?

Yeah that happened and he felt really bad about it!

GOOD! FUCKING GOOD! I want you to feel bad about it! Don't you dare say that I'm not putting in enough work ever again!

In the past, the company that i worked gave to all the employees usb to save whatever they want, after that, this happened.

Me: Hi, how can i help you today?
User: The USB that IT gave to us it's broken.
Me: Broken?
User: Yeah, i can't plug-in in my computer.
Me: Did you try turn around?
User: Of course i.. ah, f**k yeah.

And ends the call.

One of the soulless parasitic drones commonly referred to as a "recruiter" happened to find a good fit. Pure coincidence, as he had no clue what the company did, or what the tech stack was.

If I'm ever switching again, I'll do it on my own. Just thinking about the fact that this guy pocketed €30k for 3 phone calls makes me sad.

So when our campus expo happened, I immediately went to the apps I critiqued last time when I was a a panel judge in the IT dep’s oral defence. Fair enough, this happened:

- The app I failed (the tilting avoid boxes shit app) actually got optimized and got the first time user tutorial I was looking for. I was short of relieved of them listening and kept going despite me failing them (props to the girl btw)

- Second app was the same as before but added my recommendations, nonetheless still a good app

I am nothing short of amazed they actually listened to me so I think that’s a win for my part

I've always thought the "can you hack my facebook accout?" rants a little exaggerated.

Then it happened to me twice.

For fuck's sake, is that damn social media site so ingrained in your puny little brain that you can't ask me something else? Is "what do you program" not the more obvious question?

Probably a !rant, idk
Some background info, I barely watch / talk about watching movies.

This happened today

Me : Let's watch a movie, it's been a while. ×3

Google *listening to me through the phone.* : Aww, there you go ₹20 play movies reward

Thanks, I guess?

During my internship.
Got wonderful opportunity to present a project to a senior Director of a different team.
And just moments before meeting, my project stopped working.
Was a disaster.
Later came to know there were internal issues in the service I was using in my project.
Though not my fault, but during the meeting, I managed to show a video of the project.
Let me know if folks wants to know what happened later..

One of the embarrassing moment for me..
Whenever some colleague pings me whenever I was busy coding I would reply "1 sec", finish whatever I was doing then talk to them.
But what happened one day was I sent "1 sex" instead to couple of the colleagues... When I realised it was very embarrassing..
Since then I have stopped using "1 sec" and use "1 min" instead.

!rant

TFW your graphics ASM code works on the first try.

Yes, it just happened to me, and it's a relatively annoying rectangle drawing routine.

Writing complicated ASM code and making it work on the first try is definitely a new thing to me, I feel so powerful! >:D

Boss: so, problem x happened
Coworker 1: huh weird, what database is being used?
Boss: *adds Coworker 2 to the call*
Boss: so, problem x happened
Coworker 2: oh 😳 i forgot to tell everyone i changed the names of the tables and everything is now here
Me, just listening: 🤦‍♀️

Dude... he's nice, but c'mon, that's a dick move

Ever happened to you?
With me, it always happens when I code !! LOL 😂.
Favorite language C++, tell me yours.

[First rant] When you commit the wrong code to the deployment branch.
This happened to me yesterday 😅 Reverted it but everyone knows what I did by seeing the commit history

It finally happened. One of our junior devs pushed a secrets file to their git branch and now I have to reset ALL THEIR CREDENTIALS. "git add ." will be the death of me.

I’m sorry but this is what happened to me

A couple of days ago I needed a RS232 to USB adaptor.
Went to a store:
Me: Do yo have any RS232 to USB adaptor?
Him: Only to USB-C
Me: Ok... Now I just need a USB -> USB-C adaptor
Him: But what kind of TV do you want to connect?
Me: Wait. WHAT?
Him: Yea, you want a VGA to USB? Why do you need that?
Me: No, RS232, I don't need VGA...
Him: Ah... ok, no... we don't have any...

(Funny story... almost the same happened in 3 stores in a row....)
fml

My freelance horror story just happened a few weeks ago. Programming final project was due and a classmate payed me to make his project. It was something very simple so I was able to make mine and his different and functional. Grades went up yesterday; he got an A and I got a B+ 🙃 #wk86

This just happened to me, a few minutes ago:

Colleague: Could you please call xyz and ask how we can administer their server and ask about the bug?
Me: Sure, gonna do this after lunch.
[...]
Me: So I called xyz, and we're now able so ssh into the machine to administer stuff [...] and they'll check the bug.
Colleague: Oh yeah great, I called xyz a hour ago and we're all set didn't they tell you?
Me: No, they didn't.. (YOU GOD DAMN PIECE OF SHIT!)
Colleague: Oh an what about the bug?
Me: ...

It's totally fine if you're going to do it yourself but WHY dou you WASTE MY TIME? You could've told me that you already called them! 🤬

Happened just yesterday.

At 7:00pm some shared office colleagues rocked up at the building drunk, to inform me that they were having their own christmas party, since they couldnt be bothered attending ours the day before.

I just finished upgrading a dotnet core 2.2 WebApi + Console App to dotnet core 3.1 and it was a very smooth process with very minor changes to my code.

Not a rant, just posting because it is the first nice thing that has happened for me in a while now.

What happened to the warm welcome that new users received back in the day? Now when someone posts their first rant people bash on details and give them no chance. I remember posting half-dumb rants, but no one gave me shit for that. It takes time to grow into a community, you can't just expect people to behave identically to the rest. Makes me a bit disappointed to be fair.

The worst thing a medic can say to a programmer is: "you need to stop drinking coffee". Happened to me :(

I never realized USB Type C was built to be reversible. I always assumed that I got it right every time in the first try.

What's happened to me

So, basically what happened today was:
A classmate asked me if I could hack him some money in online games. Later on he saw me using an FTP Client and saied: "Whoa, if I was as good as you I would totally use my skills to hack something!!!"

Yea... no.

(Writing this I turned of aurocorrect cause it's pissing me of when writing english)

Can companies please check their address policy for consistency before implementing some bullshit constraints? Literally happened minutes ago:

Me: __enters address "city"__
Website: Hey, I auto-correct your city to "City (Region)"
Me: __submits form__
Website: Whoa there, you can't enter braces in your city name!

Ever had that frustrating moment that the customer overreacts a small issue into a big issue? Just happened to me today.

Client: "Hey can you check why we are not getting any software update/patches to our firewall?"
Me: "OK. Lemme check"
** Checking **
Me: "I found that its not getting the latest updates because the license file registered has a product serial # mismatch with their support site. You can see it clearly here..."
Client: "THAT'S TERRIBLE!! QUICK!! MAKE IT A PRIORITY 1 ISSUE AND HAVE IT RESOLVE ASAP!!!"
Me: *Facepalm*

Happened once to me

When do you know you are a real dev?

When there is a sales of alcohol for half of price in near by shop and you stay at work to solve a bug.

Just happened to me today.

New dev hired to assist me told the boss that he was going to refactor the code to improve stability.

He converted all my fragments into activities. Because he didn't understand working with the back stack. Now everyone is asking me what happened.

Did it ever happened to you?
Me - Everyday..

Just went to grab a USB stick from my pile of random sticks, to make a windows installation drive. Well lucky me, happened to grab one with an iso already on it

Someone asked me to help him with his assignment and this happened.. trust me I'm not drunk
"mid ka next" means "next of mid"

4 yrs ago, had a bitch colleague who came to me with a problem she encounter with her code, so I looked at it then asked her "...it worked yesterday-what happened? "
- and she snap at me "...then my fault ?! We figure it out together..."

I went home after that. Reason is :-
1. I didn't touch your code
2. If you wanted me to check my codes and see if it was my fault - then please say so.
3. If you are trying to make your problem my problem, don't snap at me bitch.

Worst Monday ever.... going back to work today after a lovely week off. Just checked my emails before I get to the office and I’m already offended by the amount of ‘stupid’ that has happened whilst I’ve been away. Wish me luck, I may have murdered someone by the end of the day!

All hail database backups.

Today my worst development related nightmare happened, I managed to screw a production database at work.

Thankfully we had a backup from 2 hours ago, I’ve never been so thankful to scheduled backups.

Take it from me, do backup your databases even if it’s annoying to do.

Piece and merry Christmas ✌️

was devrant way more visited during those good ol' covid days? i can't help but feel like i see a maximum of 100 people around now... feels weird to me, probably feels normal to those who have been here longer

curious what happened, maybe just the insane users remaining scared off all the plebs

Me: You provided the wrong credentials for AWS. That’s why it won’t work. Please provide updated ones using document I emailed you last month.

Client: I forgot how to do that. Will you be free tonight after 9pm?

Me:.....

Yes. This really just happened. No. I am not doing it unless they pay hourly.

Use Mac they said
it is the best out there they said 😒
Happened to me when upgraded to osx 10.11

This happened to me too

This is the most wtf thing that happened me with Javascript, I had a regular expression and it caused bugs only with 4 digits long words, then I just noticed this:

/^.{3}$/.test(null) // false
/^.{4}$/.test(null) // true

What the fuck, I can't believe that who designed the .test method didn't think to avoid null coercion

Running your own company is probably most stressful and rewarding thing that ever happened to me.

It finally happened to me

Oh well, I was about to boot back into Ubuntu anyways

This just happened to me.

Before internship, js code with semicolons looked stupid to me. Then jshint happened and here I am at 3AM in the morning, adding semicolons to a forgotten but not abandoned design project of mine!

I didn’t really choose, I just happened to learn C# as one of the 3 first languages I learnt back then. It landed me multiple jobs and that’s about it really 🤷‍♂️

I hate when I’m telling a story about something that happened that frustrated me and then the person I’m speaking to interrupts to say “I don’t know why you’re taking it out on *me*” and I’m like “I’m not, I’m just telling you the …” “You’re shouting at me!” “I fucking WASN’T [BUT I AM NOW]” and then I can’t finish my goddamn rant and instead of getting the goddamned thing out of my system I’m just fucking frustrated and seething.

Client calls me, 10am in the Sunday, complaing that there's something wrong with the system, the same thing he called me last week and I told him to observe and double check every time he closes a POS sale. So far, the error hasn't happened till today, Sunday again.

How far off can you implement a feature?

Task: Update add one feature to this endpoint and add test(s) for the new feature

What happened
* Correct endpoint
* Add 2 wrong features
* Remove one important feature
* Do not the requested feature
* Write a test that doesn't actually test the feature for the wrong endpoint

Intern be like: looks fine to me. Pls review and merge

Two notable things happened to me today on devRant:
1. I accidentally +1'd a random rant. I feel rude to undo it.
2. I accidentally reported a random comment. I feel stupid for having done such thing.

Now I'm expecting to get a notification saying It wasn't worth reporting :/

It happened with a company that makes the audio Codecs for Apple (you guessed it right).
It was supposed to be the most pleasant interview ever but not exactly. Here's the thing, the interview went so well that the HR explained all the benefits for its employees and handed me a copy of a leaflet containing so. In the end, as they were walking me to the door, the HR lady told me "you are staying here, you don't have to look anymore" as they were walking me to the door.

Well, everything I did from my end was perfect. Thank you emails and follow-ups blah blah. But not a single answer from their end regarding any decision.
This was the worst feeling to me.

Programming when sad...

My dad is acutely ill, and trying to focus on code is so hard! This has happened before, and makes me realize that our normal day job is really taxing mentally...

Not being able to persuade the client that storing plain text passwords so that they can send them to their users when they forget them is not the best way to handle user accounts.

This happened in 2012 but it still hunts me like it was yesterday.

Before you all demand to ban me from devRant, I’d like to say that we impelemented an alternative (unpaid!) for this, but were requested to disable it.

Helping Fix something on my Managing Directors Laptop...

After a restart I ask (word for word), "Can you please give me the password you use to login to your laptop"

She proceeds to give me her E-mail password

I respond by saying that I think that is her e-mail password and I need the laptop password.

Next thing I hear "You have to be more clear, to me they are the same thing"

Seriously... How much clearer could I have been, I'd be annoyed right now if my brain wasn't in an infinite loop going WTF JUST HAPPENED... WTF JUST HAPPENED... WTF JUST HAPPENED...

I learned how to program during my MSc at UC Santa Barbara in 1988. But the real thing happened during my first job as software engineer at Chorus Systems, in Paris, with the guidance of some of the world's best mentors, Russian engineers who taught me how to approach code design as if it was playing chess. These guys were brilliant!

......why life.... why... what do you want from me... when i do the right thing, you punish me... when i do the wrong thing, you punish me... what do you want from me.... i cant believe this just happened to me...

PR used to mean public relations to me few months back. Now it just means pull requests to me.
The fuck happened. Anyone says we need to improve our PR, I'm like how do you improve a pull request and I end up face palming

Me: I'm going to a hackathon this weekend.

Parents : are you sure it's legal and you won't get into trouble? You know, it seems to involve hacking

Took some time to explain the concept of hackathons. Same happened with a lot my friends. Many of them actually go to hackathons now.

This happened at the beginning of my first job:

Me: I want to clarify some things that wasn't specified in my task. I want to see if I need to do them and how I should solve it.
Senior dev: Don't worry about it. If testers pass the task back to you, then you do it. Just do as it is.
Me: 😓

A small thunderstorm came in yesterday brought chaos and terror for 1 hour and left like nothing happened

Guess what

It left the whole city without the internet

Over 300,000 people dont have internet of course including me and i am pissed the fuck off because i was in such a great mood to get shit done today

Oh lord it's finnaly happened, I'm almost tempted to leave my retail job after 4 years, fucking head office and lazy ass managers im driving me fucking insane, they give you a 2 person job and complain when you don't have it all done by lunch.

Why must finding an enjoyable job be so fucking hard!

i wonder what happened to the bright eyed 18 year old version of me that had perfect grades and was on top of her shit. nowadays i can barely feed myself without feeling exhausted and I can't read a book to save my life

This is the strangest thing that has happened to me:

I once worked as a intern at a consultancy company. Me and another junior got a brand new customer project assigned to us (bad idea I know) we spent 2 months working on that project, building a website from scratch. The customer paid 10 000€ for it. The website sucked and didn't work properly in the end.

I ended up leaving the company for unrelated reasons and left the project. A couple of months later I asked the other junior whatever happened to that project and he said that the customer seemed to have forgotten about the project and no one was working on it anymore

Like what? How do you just forget about something you paid 10 000€ for? I mean I'm happy they did as it was the worst project I've built

Selenium is the worst thing happened to me this month...

One of the top 10 reposts just happened to me. 😐

Dat feel when you have to threaten your laptop with a reinstall, before it starts working...

Literally happened to me yesterday.
And to ad to the drama I didn't have a bootable USB ready, so I forced the laptop to create the installer, that would ultimately be its own demise 😅
Suddenly, halfway through the setup of the USB, everything began working 😜

"git checkout HEAD ." Instead of "git reset HEAD ." Smeg! Just shoot me. I'm going to bed and restarting in the morning like today never happened.

There was some erroneous calculation in the leaves taken for the month in her account certificate, even after repeated correction request from her end. This had happened twice.
She just stood up, shouted at the HR (who was responsible for this) and headed straight to the co-founder's cabin. After 4 hours of discussions, she came out. Whispered to me that she just quit, and went away. Never saw her again.

ever been rushed to the hospital and suddenly your team lead calls you and asks if you can fix a bug? that happened to me.

Pair Programming. Seriously. The best that has ever happened to me in my work life

Was working on an issue that happened to be number 666. And it sort of lived up to its name. Hours of work for no necessary change. Thinking of rejecting as non-issue. Think it would be inappropriate to write "get behind me Satan" or "the power of Christ compels you" as rejection reason?

Friend: Hey I am rebasing my commits and got stuck into a weird window and i was not able to come out of it?
Me: It is vi LMAO. Just press `:wq`
Friend: Wait I'm pressing the same but still nothing happened, it is displaying on my screen?

... After 200 messages...
Me: Just close the computer and I am going to Himalayas. Peace

that Linux fanatic, Everytime. I tell him about Linux problem he says: well, it never happened to me !

A very suspicious thing happened at work last Friday, security team told me to uninstall adblockplus and disconnect.me plugin 😟

Back in my college, my professor was trying to demonstrate how to install hadoop using my laptop.
Now, he asked me to type my password
Even I thought it was asking my password. So I started typing it but my password was my crush's name (aakank....).
I typed till aaka and then realized what happened.
Fortunately I was able to handle the situation by typing
"Aakanakabaka" and saved my self.

Had a bad dream one night that my bosses were going to run me through the ringer on some stuff that I needed to do better.

A day later, exactly that happened.

It would’ve been nice if my premonition could have had a few days gap between dream and reality so I’d have had some time to fix things first.

I come into the office today and a new guy is sitting at my desk. alright, I introduce myself and explain this is my desk (btw I work in an office where some workers share a desk, me being the most senior tech the desk is reserved for me) and he gives me a dirty look, gets up, and doesn't say anything. could you be more of an asshole?
has this ever happened to anyone else ?

This morning I got a reply to my tech support email:

The problem was that the dynamic pages on my website are no longer being served as dynamic pages and so IIS is throwing errors on every page load. Seems to me like they've done something their end because I didn't touch it when it happened...

The tech support email essentially told me to rename all my files from .cshtml (ie. a dynamic page) to .html.

I'm not expert, but I doubt this is going to solve the problem...

Happened to me a while ago:

co-worker: don't use (C++) templates so your colleagues who aren't as smart as you don't have such a hard time understanding your code.
me: said the guy who uses macros all over the place.
co-worker: macros have been around for years and you can expect one to understand those.
me: *tempted to start a discussion about C++ with one who started programming with C like 20 years ago and who doesn't give a fuck about learning new things*... You're right!

this really happened:
Interface Team Lead: "hey I want any time deployments and better QA"

Me: "ok sure. I have CI/CD, but yiu need to work in feature branches / tags, and make sure your code passes automated builds and unit tests"

Team Lead: "I dont have time to test it makes me unproductive! and creating a branch is an extra step which is going to set me back. Im telling the boss you are impacting performance!"

Me: "you want better deployments and QA, but you can even create a branch or tes your work?"

Team Lead: "We have deadlines!"

Holy shit, it happened to me today, I thought it was a myth that people actually use zip for source code.

So, got the task to help out the operations team naturally I for access to the repository. I got a zip file.

#fml

So, it's not my job, but I needed to add some new gsuite groups for our client. That's completely fine, so they sent me their logins. I logged in and, in five minutes, I was kicked out. Because they got an email saying that someone logged in to his account. I still cannot believe what just happened.

When having to fix parts from an other programmer's code, do NOT concentrate on the small code expected to be wrong, instead read and understand the whole program around it!

Best practice:
1) Why is this code here
2) What does this code do
3) How does the code solve the problem

(just happened to me 😅)