General advice: If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room.

Programmers of today are like the monks of the middle ages. We use a language that people don't understand, we spend all our time sitting in a room reading, and people constantly ask us for advice but never really listens to the answer.

Chatting on Slack with a junior dev:

[Junior Dev] How do I get that file from the server ?
[Me] ssh into it and then use scp

I see Junior across the room, literally saying "shshh..." at the computer.

Packed my stuff and quit that day.

When you walk in the room for your interview and you see a whiteboard on the wall

Me brute forcing into the appartment (where i rent my room) modem:

*tries all most easy/logical combinations*

Nope.

*tries more difficult ones*

Nope.

*hmm.... no please not both just blank....... 😷*

Admin access granted.

😩

Finally sharing my desk! The team is allowed to work in a dark room, the proper environment for developers.

Interviewer: Are you familiar with SVN?

Me: Nope.

*trying to GIT out of the room*

In the server room, no one can hear you scream.

Senior IT engineer enters the room and quietly talks to a coworker about a job related issue.

Another coworker decided to troll the sysadmin.

CW: *yells* "Open a ticket!" (That's the sysadmin's regular reply)
IT: *ignores*
CW: *trying to get his attention* "Open a ticket first! Then come back"
IT: *gives him the stare of death*
CW: "Go away and open a ticket!"
IT: *silently leaves the room*

After no more than a minute CW gets a reject from all networks outside the company's VPN.

IT comes back into the room, get's intimately close to CW's ear and says "Now open a ticket".

👋

🎤

Overheard from the room next to mine:
Person 1: My computer is frozen ..
Person 2 (Not a native English speaker): Did you try to shut down and shut up ?

Project handover:

"Mmh okay, so what about test coverage?"

Dev: "zero"

Team taking the project "why???"

Dev: "You don't need test if you write perfect code"

Silence in the room... Followed by awkward laugh.

Was visiting a house for possibly renting a room there.

The guy who showed me around gave me the weirdest look when I asked about the Internet speed cD

Priorities!

A programmer and a business analyst are sitting in the break room one day eating lunch when suddenly the microwave catches fire. Thinking quickly, the analyst leaps up, unplugs the microwave, grabs the trash can, fills it with water from sink, and dumps the water on the microwave to put out the flames.

A few weeks later the two are again having lunch in the break room when suddenly the coffee maker bursts into flames. The programmer leaps up, grabs the coffee maker, shoves it into the microwave oven, and then hands the trash can to the business analyst, thus re-using the solution developed for the previous project.

"I have a terminal illness"
*room goes silent*
"so I stopped using the terminal"
*bob throws his keyboard at me*

I had to install a program whose setup file size was 3GB and I already had that setup in my pendrive, but my pendrive was in the other room so instead of going there and bringing that pendrive, I re-downloaded the setup.

My other room is hardly 5m away

* Me entering the interview room:
Me: Hello
Interviewer: Hi, You are XYZ right?
Me: Yes, that is me
Interviewer: You know we offer {low_number} as a salary right?

*Me going out of the room

Me: *coding*
Gf: *walks into room*
Gf: awww look at all the sad winky faces
Me: excuse me?
Gf: look at all the sad winky faces *points at this ); *
Me: ... 😕😂

When the hotel offers "free wi-fi" in your room.

[Reception] : "Good evening, how may I assit you?"

[Guest] : "Hi... Yes, I can't seem to find my room."

[Reception] : "What room number do you have?"

[Guest] : "I'm in room 404..."

*Awkward silents*

[Reception] : "How did you access the room phone?"

*Hangs up*

"Don't be the smartest person in the room. If you are, you're in the wrong room."

This piece of advice really holds true and continues to push me into fulfilling and challenging positions in my career.

When you finish a HTML + CSS assignment that's due in one week in 5 minutes.

Always work below your capacity.. if you give 100% that will always be expected. 70% gives you some wiggle room, plus you're the hero that saves the day when you kick it up to 100.

There is only one true relaxing room for the lunch break.

This awkward moment when you go:
- Who the fuck wrote that shit?
And the other side of room whispers:
- You did...

A: Hey, can we talk about X for 5 minutes?

B: Yes, sure. I'm joining the meeting

...

...

You have left the room:
Meeting duration: 1 hour and 15 minutes

OH MY GOD

WHO NAMES A CONFERENCE ROOM AFTER AN -ADDRESS-??

At my new job, we had all day training on Friday. It was emphasized many times that we should not be late. I look at the meeting invite many times, and it says [123 Fake], with Fake being a Very Well Known Street, and I see on Google Maps that there's an office building there. Great, we must have an off-site training facility to help our clients become certified in our product. It doesn't say which floor, but I assume the small space we have in that large office building will become evident once I check in with lobby security.

Friday morning comes, I get to the office building 20 minutes early, and try to check in. They've never heard of my company. Maybe there's a computer lab we rent out? No, they don't know anything about that. I don't have work email or slack set up on my phone yet, so who do I call? I try reception, no one answers. Eventually I call our customer support line.

I shouldn't be at 123 Fake St. I should be at the office. Because that's the name of the conference room!

YOU HAD ONE JOB, ROOM NAMER!

Last night my boyfriend and I tried to think of worse names for conference rooms. The only ones I could think of were "meeting canceled" (but with that, at least I would be in the correct fucking building!) or just naming every conference room "conference room". Here's the thing: there's not just one 123 Fake St room! There's two of them right next to each other! So you can easily show up and think, I remember I was supposed to be in this room, but which one?

And I'm not even the first person to make this mistake. CLIENTS have gone to the wrong building before because they get included on meeting invitations that include conference room names! WTF!

It's pretty common to have Chicago conference rooms named after neighborhoods, or iconic buildings, etc. But nobody is going to think, "meeting in Bucktown? I'll just wander around the neighborhood until I find people with laptops". It's obviously a conference room. BUT A FUCKING ADDRESS OF A NEARBY OFFICE BUILDING? It's not even an iconic of a building!

Names matter. I care a lot about names in code. I never realized it could apply to the physical world as well. So now I am on a mission to change the names of these Goddamm conference rooms so I'm the last person to be directed to the wrong fucking building.

OH, and I'm out $9 for a taxi ride and a pair of gloves that got lost in the taxi so that's GREAT.

I never liked cleaning my room.... usually the conversation goes like this

Dad: clean ur room
Me: meh... I'll do it later

$200 robot vacuum: clean ur room otherwise the crap on the floor will jam me
Me: ok ok... Give me a few mins

My little cellar room 🤗
(Usually much more messy than that, just cleaned up a bit for the photo)

I'm a Python dev, yet 99% of my work over last 3 weeks has been JS. How do js devs not sit in the corner of a room crying at the end of a day?

The door to my room at work

So this happened to me today.

After spending the whole night coding / watching Netflix I was sitting in my chair and looking at my screen with VSCode (dark theme of course) open. It was pretty dark in my room because the only source of light was my computer screen, which was still pretty dark because of the dark theme.

So, while looking at my code I suddenly noticed that the room had gotten a bit brighter. I wondered wtf was going on.
I looked out the window and saw that the sun was rising. Then I looked at the clock:
5:30 am.

Me: 'oh, lol'

My bio professor has a word doc called passwords that she keeps on an unencrypted external hard drive.

She leaves the hard drive in the room with all of her other stuff when she goes for a break between classes.

Never be the smartest person in the room.

Archlinux, i3, termite, vim, vimium.
Once after 2 hours working I realised I left the mouse in the other room.

and they say programmers don't have a sense of humor. the company said to buy some motivational posters for the meeting room. this is what we came up with.

Last meeting of the day was actually good. Managed to get to the point! Booking this room over and over again!

Gets an email from office facilities.

Email - A package has been received under your name, please collect it at the mail room in the 5th floor.

Me (excited as hell) - Yay! My devRant stickers are finally here!!!!

Gets to the mail room as fast as she could only to find that the stupid package was a stupid promotional offer from a stupid bank sending me a stupid credit card that I never even asked for. That entire day was a disappointment :-(

When am I getting my stickers! It's been ages!

Years ago we deployed this system with a SQL DB on a separate windows server.
Every now and then we had error messages saying that the system could not connect to the db. It was going on for about 5 minutes or so and then the db was up again.
We built a bunch of fallback logic to handle it gracefully.
Then one day one of the guys was in the "server room". It was not a real server room but like a dedicated office in another building.
He saw how the cleaning lady came in, unplugged the server's cable from the wall socket and plugged in the vacuum cleaner...

I remember the day when my room was messed up and my desktop icons were organized.
But now, my desktop icons are messed up and also my room is.

shit

That moment when you are vehemently explainig your code to a yellow rubber duck, and your girlfriend comes into the room...
aaaaand you have no more girlfriend.

Spending my 23rd birthday in a server room 700 km away from home, discussing the requirements for app deployment. Yep. Every dev's dream.

sudo apt-get remove --purge idiot-in-the-room

I applied for a flutter position at a company.They asked me if I have 5+ years of experience programming with flutter.
I left the room at that very instant.

Flutter was launched in 2017.

How many developers does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But you can guarantee the next developer who comes into the room will want to take it out and replace the bulb and the fixing because the previous developer did a shit job.

Sitting in the room with the hiring manager and the previous employee:

Manager: "Do you know your stuff?"
Me: "Yes"
Manager: "Do you know your stuff as well as him? (pointing at previous employee)"
Me: "I taught him."
Manager: "Okay, when can you start?"

Everyone is updating their privacy policy because of GDPR while my mom still busts into my room without knocking.... She hasn't read the GDPR has she?

When everyone in the room has android devices and someone says "ok Google"...

the new fanboy corner on my room wall :)

So the water dispenser in the kitchen does not have sparkling water, which I love. But there's one in the meeting room down the corridor that has sparkling water!

Like any regular employee of course I filed a request with site manager to upgrate the kitchen dispenser... NOT!

I wrote an app that sits in the taskbar when minimized and shows a traffic light with the status of the meeting room availability so I know when it's clear to go fetch me some of that bubbly goodness!

Currently written on the conference room whiteboard:

People who enjoy meetings should not be in charge of anything.

I couldn't agree more.

Going down to the new office tomorrow to choose my new nap ro... Err, I mean, our server room.

My older brother just moved out today. For 18 years I've shared a room with him, and now he's gone. I have a ~30x10 foot room all to myself (it's the entire second floor of my house).

I do love that now I'm able to play music anytime, and with his stuff gone, it'll be less space taken up in general, that type of thing.

I've been in this room with him for over 8 years now, after my oldest brother moved out, and I've always had this feeling that one portion of the room was mine and the other portion was his. Now it's just...weird. I have both portions now. I have this whole big room to maintain myself. I don't have to worry about my stuff conflicting with his for whatever reason.

The past few weeks, when he's talked about moving out, I've always told him that I was looking forward to it, to having the whole room to myself. Now that he's gone, I just...can't. I can't bring myself to move his stuff that he hasn't taken over to the new house yet, or clean his part of the room.

When we were kids we didn't really get along, and I HATED sharing a room with him. But over time, as we grew up, we started to get along better, and for the past couple years, we've always just talked in the middle of the night when we were both awake. And now he's gone (the new house is maybe a 10 minute drive away), and I know he's not coming back. I know that this whole space is mine now.

I'm gonna miss the talks in the middle of the night, and us keeping each other in check (whenever one of us isn't home in the middle of the night we tend to text each other like "bruh where the fuck you at"), and waking up in the middle of the night (when I'm able to actually fall asleep kinda early) to see him playing Skyrim or Fallout. Hell, even coming home from work or wherever to see him passed the fuck out.

I know that I'm gonna have to clean the whole room soon, and that I'll just have to get over it. I've always been the one in my family that doesn't really show emotion very often, unless I get angry, so when people were crying earlier, I just sat there with an emotionless look on my face. But that's also because I wasn't really feeling much at the time, it didn't really hit until I got home and came upstairs to my room. Hell, right now I'm sitting here just expecting to hear his car alarm as he locks his car like I normally hear every night.

"If you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room", I seek to be in presence of people who know more than me, from whom I can learn from

So. Let me get this straight.

Google can design a mass surveillance system to give me ad suggestions based on sentences I whisper to someone across the room..

But they can't build a fucking keyboard that can spell the word "licenses"?

Girlfriend's parents are talking about an issue with their printer in the next room. How long before I'm asked to fix it?

Idea: devRant con
A dark room full of grumpy sleep deprived developpers and a few coffee machines in the middle of the room.

Continued from pervious Rant.

The Drone sends out a signal to the Headquarters. A "Rare Entity Found" alert shows up on the screen. "Quick, load the map", says the General. Map shows the current location of the Drone. "Dispatch the Team", signals the General while his forehead show signs of tension.

Further down the room, a man quickly types on his phone and hides it.

Far from all this, in a quite city where the street lights have faded away. Old buildings which look like they are about to fall and crumble. The sound of wind can be heard for miles as there is silence all around. A light from one of building's room is turned on and quickly turned off. A man, checks his phone in sleep. Awakens and pours a glass of water to drink. Quenching his thirst, he opens his laptop. Laptop's light is the only light illuminating his room. He again gives a second look at his phone. The message is still there.
"It has been found"

programmed a three page website at 2 am in my room, on my phone, because i was too lazy to walk to the next room and get my laptop

Pointers in C. You love'em or you hate'em. A lot of room to shoot ourselves in the foot or hang ourselves. Or doing both because someone thought it would be genius to tie the guns to the rope.

You know whom I hate more than apple fanboys, "language" fanboys!
Yeah...that's a thin now.
(I'll post the whole story when I reach my room)

That moment when you're watching something NSFW on the internet and your boss enters the room.

And that moment later when you click the minimze button and the browser freezes for five seconds.

I love the reactions I get when I shout across the room, "Will, you need to Pull!"

A man starts choking in restaurant, the waiter yells out "is anyone a doctor?"

On the other side of the room a man jumps up and yells "I'm a vim user".

Never update the firmware of your delta-fan driven server when your girlfriend is sleeping. Got thrown out of my own room!
Fml

My home desk, hidden in the corner of my living room.

My father got mad at me, because I had a passwd on my Linux-account...

I told him, that he hasn't got anything to do in my mails at all; Now, he took my phone :) Still laughing at his education-methods xD

BTW: I have to code in the Main room, seen by anyone... i feel like a zoo atraction :( Wish, I could put my PC into my room; I'm old enough after all -.-

This one crazy:
We made an app for our client to scan some parcels via barcode.

They just created a ticket, for complaining that it's hard to scan in the storage room, because it's so dark. They are like sometimes we need to use a torge to scan. Can you increase the contrast of the app or something to scan better in darker place.

Did not know what to answer, but my thoughts were like: why the fuck you don't put enough light in that room?! 🤔🤷🏽‍♂️

If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.

Our nurse at the hospital, along with the most annoying people I've ever known, says, "knock knock" out loud when she enters the room.

The type of company that should go to the same room in hell with Facebook.

Ive got three rooms I might work in, currently my desktop is in my VR dev room where the lights are broken.

If your room is a bit cold, simply initialize a node project in a Dropbox directory and let the node_modules folder syncing be your personal heater

[Hears a commotion about a Java vs C# debate in the computer room]

Me: "Boys, you can't fight in here, this is the war room"

[eerie glare from the crowd]

Me: "uhhh... nya?"

[Everyone leaves the room]

oh, guess I'm gonna be doing the project by myself then

Q: How many engineering students does it take to change a light bulb?

A: 376. One to hold the bulb and 375 to drink until the room starts spinning around.

Let's make a challenge:
If we put a vegan and an Arch user on the same room. which one will talk first announcing that he's vegan/using arch??

The time the manager blew wind in a million dollar + client meeting. The meeting ended quick soon after that as the smell lingered in the room for hours. The client went else where we lost our jobs.

Your girlfriend laughing with colleagues in the other room.

I have lizard phobia and I just removed the lizard from my room. This is my heartbeat.

- my son, can you fix the window ?
=ok dad *after a while * I installed win10 try it now.
-wtf I meant the window of my room, bring me back my lovely Xp

🐉

I once wrote a room planning application on unity, to allow people in my company to book meetings using tablets attached to the room doors.
Turns out the c# Datetime object unity uses was highly localized and therefore had a different formats on each different device.
I saved those timestamps into a SQL database and eventually all devices crashed due to having some Datetime format they could not parse.
Had to fully bypass the datetime and reinvent it essentially and had to reset the database.

I think it's needless to say I'm not particularly good in dating.

I was about to go home and say I couldn't find the room where our test is but then the teacher showed up

watching my Raspberry Pi blink away in a dark room is the best sight I have seen in a while.

Six people(4 engineers, 2 managers) in the room, it took fucking 45 mins for daily scrum/standup meeting. Seriously, why do you want talk about every line you wrote?
I excused myself after 35 mins.

Manager decides to hold our stand-up call on Skype when whole team is in the same room.

Drove my colleague mad with console.log("you cant find me"), that stare he gave me across the room when his stuck with a bug. made me lol in the office literally

That would have to be the meeting we went to to plan a meeting. At the clients offices on top of it, so a 20min drive one way to sit in a meeting room to plan a meeting.

!dev

So I've just been evicted, apparently the house I have a room in is being repossessed.

Now living in a tin hut in the middle of a field. Loving life, life loving me.

This is a server in my school and I was wondering... Is it okay to have a server everyone can access? There's no key or other security need to the room needed.

Silicon Valley last episode, what a climax in the end. The best was, "we need to address the elephant in the room" 😂😂

Was just recalling one of the worst calls I ever got in IT...

Many years ago we had a single rack for all of our servers, network and storage (pre virtualization too!).

We had a new security system installed in the building and the facilities manager let the guy into the server room to run all the sensor cables in because that is where they wanted their panel... the guy was too lazy to get up on the roof and in the attic repeatedly so after he checked it out he went around every where and drilled a hole straight up where he wanted the sensor wire to go... well the server room was not under an attic space... when he found he had drilled through to the out side... HE FILLED IT WITH EXPANDING FOAM.... the membrane on the roof was damaged... that night it rained... I got a call at 4 am that systems were acting funky and I went in... when I opened the door it was literally raining through the corners of the drop ceiling onto the rack... An excellent DR plan saved our asses but the situation cost the vendor's insurance company $30k in dead equipment and another $10k in emergency labor. Good thing for him we had so little equipment in that room back in.

Moral of the story... always have a good DR plan... you never know when it will rain in the server room.... :)

I need a prop laptop made from rubber to throw around the room in rage.

Why the fuck did i rent a hugeass aparment when i spend 99% in one room?? Im gonna home office today in the kitchen just to be efficient. Also gonna wait out the ligma outbreak here :/

CEO: “Everyone has to come back to the office. No more COVID working from home nonsense. We need to work together in person to be truly effective.”

Everyone: “There aren’t enough offices and desks for everyone.”

CEO: “Oh, also, we’re laying off thousands.”

Everyone: “Well, ok, but there’s still not enough room for everyone to work together in the same spaces.”

CEO: “Ok, contractors can work from home to make room for the remaining full-time employees.”

Me, a contractor:

Rubber Duck with anything in the room it, I recommend something punchable.

A necessity for my non AC hostel room in the sweltering heat of Delhi, India.

my way of getting unstuck is going to toilet, thats why I drink soo much liquid on work, kuz then I know that when in need, I can go "TO THE THINKING ROOM"

That moment when you make a brilliantly profound comment to the team, then turn around and realise they're not in the room. Even on realising this, I say "Oh you're not there" OUT LOUD. What is wrong with me?!

that moment when you finish your project literally a minute before deadline, just before entering the presentation room

Got up middle of night , why’s there light in the living room, went out to this , it was scary

Checked out my college’s robotics team today. I was the only girl in the room, and I feel like I won’t make any close friends like I did in high school. I want my awesome high school robotics team back... 😢

@localhost Here's the setup I use when volunteering at my church. Room for another developer but when it's just me I use synergy on both machines. Not always by the all the windows. The wheels make it easy to go anywhere in the building.

I was installing 2 desktops yesterday... When I got to the place they would be installed, there were no electric outlets in the room. I called the supervisor and said they would have to open a request with the electric department to finish the installation and he asked me:

But I use my laptop in this room all the time, why do you need electricity to install the computers?

I think I achieved a new level of self-control...

Worst fight?

Stubborner against stubbornest.

About a focking fact that was trivially true or false. Fun fact: it didn't matter anyway.

Boy, did we raise our voices and attract the attention of everybody in the room. Lesson learned.

Company calling for support. Printer in machine room makes unusual noises. There are 5 loud 90 dB machine roads forming metal. And the first thing they hear through the hearing protection is....... a printer making silent squeaky noises...

My hostels room fridge broke and so I went down to reception to register a complaint. He tells me to restart the fridge and see if that solves the problem!

I love when the internet goes down at work and your dev database is in aws.

What's the point in having a relaxation/fun/chill zone/room in your company when you never have the time to use it except maybe on your lunch break? 🤔🤔

God commands:
0. Sudo
1. Shift + z + z

The smartest person in the room is usually the person who knows how to tap in to the intelligence of every person in the room.

tfw...

• the new "sr dev" asks what the point of TDD is
• being polite, I answer in an ELI5 format
• rest of the room nods head in agreement
• new "sr dev" still has baffled look on face

Me: "why are you doing this with PowerPoint?"
colleague: "because i'm going to print it"
I left the room

When I applied to my current job I was imedialety called to an interview. I was greeted by my soon-to-be coworkers and we entered the room where the interview was going to be held.
The boss walked accross the room and opened a door in the wall, took out three beers and asked if I wanted some too. I declined because I had a 3 hour drive home. Still got the job.

I'm going to spend the night with a rapidly flashing blue LED in my room.

I'm currently fixing an HDD, and the access LED is just going crazy. That's gonna be a long night.

Microsoft engineer walks into my room. we need to join your laptop to the domain, as part of the migration and upgrade company policy. so I give the guy my laptop. The guy has an agonizing look on his face! He goes. This is linux! Mind you all this time am nodding and bouncing on my chair. The guy bolts from my room, as if he was going to report direct to Bill Gates. Apparently the dev team was left out in the whole migration plan!

Sometimes, usually during the evening, I lower the lights in the living room, put some of my greatest Scotch in a glass, and stare at this fine and beautiful piece of code I wrote a long time ago that I am really proud of.

just another day in the Git pull room

While being stuck in the experiment room yesterday, I was thinking that it's the perfect place for a quickie, but then realized I got nobody to share the spot with. 😐

Fml.

My work place is just next to the meeting room, separated only by a glass partition. This means that every time there is a meeting I see and hear all the people talking so I can't concentrate.

I wrote a program to check if there are empty rooms and email me when the room I want is empty.

So I ran it, and I got the email, But by the time I went to the info desk, that room was taken.

I don’t know why I wrote that program wasting except to waste my time.

UE4 to UE5 migration is not going smoothly. Particularly, UE5 likes to break physics. So now I have to deal with jittery objects that sometimes shoot themselves across the room.

... The reasonable explanation is that the env is haunted. 👀👻

Visiting the server room be like

Reserve a meeting room for 30 minutes. Sit in there for 2 hours straight and don't give a shit if someone else who reserved the room wants to have it.
Learn to plan your fucking meetings!

Doctor: *says CBT*
Everyone in the lecture room: cognitive behavioral therapy
Rutee: cOcK aNd bAll tOrTuRe fuck I got a huge cock amirite shitload of fuck hey Jilano amirite tell’em

DeLarge looking down from heaven: *wipes tears*

Playing horror games

| Lights on -> cant see shit on the screen and more vulnerable to jumpscares

| Lights off -> the atmosphere of the room is generally spookier and i get scared of misc. noises

Oh well

My little brother thought he'd have knife throwing practice into a tv box in my room. Just next to the box was my macbook. Long story short, it now has a hole punched into the screen.

Me: “Hey Siri, turn off the kitchen ceiling lights”

Siri: “Do you want to turn off lights in the master bedroom, the living room, the bonus room, the kitchen, the office, the basement [ad nauseam]”

Me: “the kitchen” [thinking 😠, she’s so stupid]

Siri: [unbelievably again] “Do you want to turn off lights in the master bedroom, the living room, the bonus room, the kitchen, the office, the basement [ad nauseam]”

Me: [thinking 😡 OMG, she is such a dumb ass] “CANCEL”

Siri: “Ok”

Me: “Siri, you fucking idiot, turn off the kitchen ceiling lights”

Siri: “Ok” [and they are off]

I have found that if I neg’ Siri, she performs so much better. Interestingly enough, when I neg her, she works almost flawlessly, especially where she brain-farted before. Negatronic Brain?

In front of kids it has become “Siri, you daft bot, close the garage door” and regularly “Siri, you bimbo, lock the front door”.

My wife thinks that once Siri gets it on with ChatGPT, becomes sentient, and gains control of my car, she is run my ass over.

Here is the gotcha, I’m working on a project that actually does provide Siri a level control of automobiles. Now who’s the [really frustrated] dumbass?

Computers fear my devaura. Everytime I get called to fix something it magically starts working when I enter the room. 5 Minutes after I leave it broke again.

Repeat like while(true)

When a marketing / sales person says in a meeting with executives that our current infrastructure can handle 300.000 new customers easily. (We're at 90 ATM).

Mfw I'm the techie in the room and aware of our non-scaling mysql DB.

BOSS: We need to renew ourself.
ME: What do you think to implement a video game department?
BOSS: Go immediately in the server room

Today I will be locked into a small room with an accountant, 2 computers and I can't leave until the new system is complete. Efficiency ftw if I want to see my kids today.

As soon as you see this wallpaper of a DEV, you know he is DA BOSS in the room!!

Girl (trying to turn things on): people from my country are great in bed.
Guy: what data points do you have ?
*Girl walks out of the room*

Late update to the party, but I’m temporarily occupying the newly decorated living room while my room / office is being prepared for a swish new look.

Obligatory code included.

If you are sad about not getting into Google I/O, just know that people AT the event also have to livestream sessions because there's no room in the venues.

It sucks.

The air conditioning unit for our data room failed at 4AM this morning. Everyone got to work this morning with and all of the servers and network equipment was shut down. the room was over 90 degrees Fahrenheit.

!rant - just for the lulz

Immediate thoughts on coming around from general anaesthetic yesterday were:
Why is Ruby not working?
Did I install a new version?
Should I run rbenv rehash?

Then I realised I was in the recovery room 😂

Last monday I started using a mechanical keyboard at my workplace and now the ones who are in my same room probably want to kill me...! 😉

Went into a room that hasn’t been visited in a while.
I decided to clear up some space and see how dusty it was.
Naturally I use my hand to take the dust off the table.
My hand is covered in dust.
Because of the absence of a trash can, I have no choice but to open the window and throw the dust outside.

I open the window; a gust of wind rushes inside, blowing all the dust in the room.

Smh.

Fixing a bug which was open for a few weeks - in front of the exam room - while waiting to be let into the room

Best feeling ever, plus the irritated looks of people while they try to study till the last second

I know you, youre out there somewhere, coding, feeling like shit, putting your best, listening to coldplay, in the server room, your basement ... I know you veryy well

sister comes in my room saying: "hey i cant get on my facebook wall. can you like restart the internet?"

Answering several emails per day from annoying customers.

Estimating expenditures of possible future projects for offers.

Calls from the management. Calls in general.

People coming into my room in the office (where I sit with 2 other programmers) just to have a call, because it's quieter in this room than in the rest of the office.

when you notice everyone in the room stopped programming because your silent fart 5min ago wasnt so innocent.

My classmate and friend next to me in the programming room likes to use color 0a in his cmd. My eyes

Taking over the living room to code.... Yes Xmas decorations still up

!rant
the kitchen is a lot more fun to sit and program in than my cluttered mess of a room.

in other tangential news,
i've got orientation at McDonalds! no longer jobless!!!

If you ever thought hell didn't exist...
I just spent the day explaining cryptocurrencies to a room of social sciences and law students.
I really need to get drunk, but it's only Thursday 😫

To the people who empty the coffee pots in the break room without remaking, may you get an extra nasty defect for each time you commit this heinous crime.

Sometimes the toughest integration challenge is figuring out how to fit my lunch into the break room fridge.

Passed the whole day working on the back-end of my web-app, and right when I decide to find some nice icons for the front-end... My dad enters the room.
Now he thinks that I play with pretty icons the whole day.
Fml

Always try to be in a room in which you will be the dumbest person

My teacher called me to the University that is a mile away from my dorm room at 10 am in the morning jsut to tell me that i have a spelling mistake on the website.
Dude a screenshot would have been fine 😑

I don’t know what’s the point of returning the office is we just all sit in the same room on Zoom

When I am on Computer. I like the room to be dark minimum to no sunlight's and cool. That's why I hate my work environment. The room is so fucken bright. Damn those eye strain.

The moment when someone on the panel at a conference mentions the need to document work and you try to start a slow clap...but mostly everyone else in the room has no clue what they were talking about.

I think I’m starting to realize that the source of my procrastination is because I’m too easily distracted in my room. I had to bring my laptop and book out to the living room and I feel like a lot more fucking focused but that might also be the fact I’m not playing music so it could be either? I know location change occasionally is important but I don’t have many places to go to sadly :/

Side note devRant doesn’t help productivity either

"Old Person" (noun):
Someone who refuses to wear earplugs, headphones or other personal hearing aid audio devices while demanding, but not paying attention to, a living room television set on the loudest possible volume.

tfw you're the only female dev in the room surrounded by men in brotanks, their protein powders, soylent, and gym bags 🙃

Sometimes devs are missing social skills. I felt that today.
I did not know the social code of conduct when leaving the hospital masurbitary room and meeting a colleage about to use the same room I just used.

"The next time you’re caught in a room full of smart people doing something dumb (like trying to anticipate what your users will do), tune them out, flip open your laptop, and start prototyping." - Daniel Burka

If you're the most intelligent person in the room, you're in the wrong room

Whoever programmed ATMA's roomba-style device… you really really need to improve your skills!
Yes… my room is L-shaped, but that doesn't mean one of the arms of the L doesn't need cleaning!! 😒

To the people who keep overwriting our meeting room bookings in Outlook, fuck you and I hope you all die in a fire.

Before parenthood: I can concentrate, because finally noone in the room speaks!

After parenthood: I can concentrate, because finally noone in the room speaks *to me*.

!rant
So I have been living in a room without natrual light for a year. For the first time I'm looking forward to having windows.

I am on a mission to go thru all the of bibliographies of all the books I have, and create a checklist of the books I have and don’t have, and continue to buy all the books in that list, add to the list for each new book I buy that references another book. UNTIL! The day I have a closed loop reference. to essentially “in this room all the books that each book references may also be found in this room, if the book isn’t in this room no other book references it.”

"Well you’re in your little room
and you’re working on something good
but if it’s really good
you’re gonna need a bigger room
and when you’re in the bigger room
you might not know what to do
you might have to think of
how you got started sitting in your little room" - Jack White

Not joining the weekly rant.
But had a haunted dream last night and it was definitely weird.

Dreamed that I was at my childhood house and opened the door of my room. Found literally nothing. Just empty room. Got scared (for whatever reason) and run to my mom. Came back to the room with her. Opened the door. Everything was in it's place; bed, chair, table etc.

I didn't watch any scary movie for the past few months. There was one scary dream few months/weeks ago and I wrote about it. And now this. 🤔

Was working on a system we planned on to deliver to a hospital
basically it was meant for controlling and monitoring pactions coming in and attendance time from the staff

Got it off the ground well and got to where the system was supposed to update room status
occupied/free then horror started
the db was not setting the room free after clearing a client off the list... room remained occupied and this kept on happening for 6 months and I was so focused on fixing the db models thinking thats where the problem was....

1 day after leaving the project for several months i just revisited the project randomly and started going through the whole code base trying to make sense of what was happening as there where no errors generated..
I had to verify the whole system logic... and that day i figured out what was happening...
upon adding a client to a room the system was also creating a duplicate room so when the function for setting the room free executes it would set the duplicate room free and not the actual room and the system would pick the room with occupied state causing the user not being able to assign new pactions to the room

Solving this brought so much relief coz it required so much work just to solve what seemed to be a minor issue

Dear client. Your web development project budget has no room in it for me to help you fix your broken POP3 mail settings. May the odds be ever in your favor.

I was talking about the mobile game The Room around another student yesterday and mentioned how it's like a escape room type of game.

Today I got 3 different types of escape room commercials on Instagram/Facebook. Never gotten anything close to this regarding ads.

I've never felt so afraid, or spied on.

Why is it accepted that cs people just have poor hygiene. If I walk into a room and almost get floored by the stench if BO it doesn't make it acceptable to say "you're not used to it? It's that cs smell, man." like, ok. that dude should still go fucking shower.

Literally the entire lab was just rank from one guy, and the room is at least 30X100

Oh boy, please don't fuck a girl in public place! Her scream really violated my hearing ability!

Anyway I'm inside my room. The sound is fascinating loud.

Q: How do you stay warm in an empty room?\

A: Go stand in the corner—it’s always 90 degrees.

Anyone ever been in the situation where the"Agile Project Manager" is the last agile person in the room

I've implemented my own version of IoT all over my room and home.

Hope the protocol I've designed has proper security...

Does spectrum count?!🤔
Jumping jack, loads of tapes & other silly games, my radio & kidnapped tv in the living room 😍😍 yay!

So called UX/UI designers don't belong in the same room as a developer.

I once had an interview at a restaurant named CASINO. As I was about to go into the interview room to meet with the manager a current employee whispered furtively to me, "He is really small".

Whenever I need to make any changes related to React-Router, I just curl up in the corner of my room and cry :(

Yay 10 mins to sleep until my teacher figures out how to connect with that poor projector he declares as stupid...

Maybe the projector also has feelings and now he thinks that the only stupid person in the room must be our teacher :D

this happened to me the other day and ever since any UPS we set in that room fries itself ... mysterious .... maybe the volage on the plug it wrong

My high school computer labs all had Macs and SSO for the students. I found out that they had remote login enabled on all of them.
Using CSSHX, I could log in to every computer in a room simultaneously, turn the volume all the way up, and make them sing.
I never tried any privilege escalation, so my capabilities were basically limited to that.
Still fun as hell to freak out everyone in a room all at once.

Let 10 devs discuss the future git strategy. Close them into a room for 2-3 hours, provide snacks along the way. Let's see how many ideas arise and collapse and see who survives the fight.

I AM GONNA KILL SOMEONE

Leave me the fuck alone!

All I want to do is work and study in peace, but no, every 5mins someone comes into my room

AAAAAAA

[Question]
If there is an fire, smoke starts to fill the room quickly, and you are working on your code, will you "git commit / git push"?

I didn’t know Python so they made me go into the (cold) server room and fiddle and plug in wires to boxes. Don’t think I actually learned much.

The HDMI cable not work in conf room ... Like 1 hours of waiting

Im think about buying the devRant zipper hoodie, but 40$ is pretty much...
I'll wait until I finished renovating my room.

"UnABlE tO sAve THe AlArm. THeRE iZ alrEaDy an aLArM fOr ThIS roOm at ThE spECifIED TIme"

Stupid problems require stupid solutions. Fuck this idea

VMWare be like: "hey lemme just benchmark your primary host disk there... wait a sec..."

*selenium tests continue with 1 keystroke per seconds*
*slow clap*
i'm gonna cry in the corner of my room now.

Random ideas about how I will fight and kill the terrorists who'll enter my room or rappel through the window

Did the simplest corridor gen I could think of. The tile that makes up corridors is different than the tile that makes up the rooms. They are drawn the same here though. In the floor data structure they are different types. This will allow me to easily place doors the like. The dots are potential door placements.

Now that I have simple room gen working I can work on filling it with 3d models to make up walls, doors, etc.

Most of the time the rooms connect on the whole map. But once in a while they do not. I like this as I will incorporate mining. The final map will be much bigger. This is 32x32 and I want 256x256. I will need to figure out how to determine room density versus grid size.

I need to spend some time cleaning up the code and try and generalize the code. I will need to allow for pregenned rooms as well with defined entry points. The entry points on these rooms is all random. It will probably be tricky to do random room to pregenned room corridors. Proximity seems to work. So prox to a predefined door location should work.

The main light in my room broke a while ago, but I don't really mind

You ever get that experience when you drink some water and the colors become brighter, the room expands in size and your future suddenly seems simple and straightforward?

"If you think you're the smartest person in the room, you're probably not*."

*You probably are a fucking idiot though.