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Who needs rubber duck debugging when you can do paper duck debugging?
Or is that concept too... Farfetch’d? 😎
13 -
When you start reading someone else's code and all you do is properly indent for the first 30 mins so you can actually read it.15
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You know you've made it when you can quickly catch programming crap in other website images.
This site promoted "Top 10 things that make you a good programmer."
8 -
When you think that you can control your mother.
Me: Mom sudo make me a sandwich.
Her: You fool I'm a Windows user8 -
When you are a coder and still go to school...
FAQ:
1. Can you hack?
2. Did you already hack the NSA?
3. Did you ever enter the darknet?19 -
Those feelings you get when you know @dfox can see you in he's rear view mirror.
https://c0d4-101.github.io/devRant-...
27 -
Never look at your computer when it's compiling, it can sense you and it becomes more prone to errors.
#CompilerConspiracy4 -
You realize how beautiful it is to work in the back-end when...
"Can you move it down 1px?"
"Can you try this color?"
"Can you make it pop more?"
"Can you make the animation 0.01ms faster?"
Millions more...10 -
"One of the best programming skills you can have is knowing when to walk away for awhile." - Oscar Godson2
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That moment when you finished your first REST API 🎉
And you realise all it can do is useless ☹️
But then you realise, you can extend the functions easily with you new knowledge 🎊
Man, this emotional up an down is exhausting 😆4 -
My teacher said: "You can choose the language of your code, but when you will need to make a great program you will use Java"
17 -
You know the world is fucked up when you can post a picture of your dinner on Facebook and it gets fifty likes, but when you post about something important, like software and hardware freedom is gets one like.5
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can be explaned by space/time difference when you switch to standard usage vs the current you are in and violate a bit. lols
1 -
That moment when you finally get to a point with a personal project that you can release a BIG feature that tons of people are asking for.
2 -
When you planed to do some coding for your self on weekend and can only sleep and do dumb stuff. Because you know it's a weekend.1
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I would absolutely love it if people would write their own stupid code instead of blindly mixing everyone else's mental diarrhea together and pouring the resulting mess into their bloody stupid IDE. At least then I could insult them properly. As it is, they're outsourcing their fucking stupidity to the lowest fucking bidder and then bragging about how quickly they get everything done. And management eats it up! No wonder everything is a slow, tangled, unmaintanable mess.
I can't fix much of anything because almost none of it is in my control. It's all autogenerated bullshit glued together with laziness and poor taste. "But Root, why is fixing this taking so long?" Gee, I wonder why. Maybe if someone had built it somewhere in realm of correctly the first time, it wouldn't have all fallen apart when someone looked at it the wrong way!
Seriously, there's no way this pile of stale fertilizer could have passed QA.10 -
When you're the only one in the company that starts early and you have to wait 2 hours until you can actually talk to someone... :(14
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That feel when you spend 2 hours fixing something just so you can fix the thing you originally intended to fix6
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When a recruiter calls you about a .NET developer role and asks if you wear glasses because the client wants someone who can "see sharp". 😜5
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When I say I'm a a software developer in public. :/
Return $response[
"Hey can you hack a Facebook account",
"Can you fix my wifi "] ;9 -
I hate when people give me shit for using a Mac. You can use whatever you prefer, let me use what I like.13
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Make two of everything. So when one project tanks you can pick up the pieces and improve the second project.
5 -
You know that feeling when you rotate one of your monitors from landscape to portrait and can see all the code at once...8
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When somebody says they know how to program and I ask them what languages they know and they say XML, CSS, HTML.16
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When you accidentally start visual studio, and have to wait an eternity for it to load so you can close it..6
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developers with non coding girlfriends.
you know when you can work on your projects........... when she sleeps!!10 -
Fuck you gas company for back billing me 1500...I don't need you...built my own heating system...and with my managed pdu I can switch on remotely so its warm when I get home...so you can shove your heating app up your arse as well
11 -
When you are at a party and people ignore you when you talk about your job. And in my head I'm like:
"You assholes in 10 maybe 5 yrs y'all are gonna be replaced by computers except me. Enjoy your life while you still can."1 -
When you write something cool but the problem can be solved in an easier way and you have to dump it 😭1
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- Can you format my computer ?
- I am developper Bro, this is not my kind of business
- I know you studied IT, so when you format my computer ?
-...6 -
How I feel when my family says "Sure you can fix the TV! if you can make a video game, this shouldn't be a problem."
1 -
Let me ask you something: why do most people prefer ms word over a simple plain text document when writing a manual. Use Markdown!
You can search and index it (grep, ack, etc)
You don't waste time formatting it.
It's portable over OS.
You only need a simple text editor.
You can export it to other formats, like PDF to print it!
You can use a version control system to version it.
Please! stop using those other formats. Make everyone's life easier.
Same applies when sharing tables. Simple CSV files are enough most of the time.
Thank you!!?!18 -
When a coworker promises a client that you will give them a free web page because he believes that you can create it in 5 minutes.2
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When you ask for a Linux machine and the PM tells you that you can only use Windows and whisper in your ear : you can still use Cygwin ...17
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When you have to learn a new language so you can learn a framework so you can learn to integrate with an app you about to learn how to make.1
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When I see a bug in somebody else's code (Gnome):
- "can you please not write bugs!"
When I see a bug on my code:
-"whatever, I'm only human..."
😅2 -
Programmers are like bees!
You can domesticate programmers the way beekeepers tame bees. You can't exactly communicate with them, but you can get them to swarm in one place and when they're not looking, you can carry off the honey. You keep these bees from stinging by paying them money. More money than they know what to do with. But that's less than you might think. ~ Orson Scott Card
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You know you need sleep when you scroll on DevRant and everything becomes 3D. And I’m talking, you can see depth between the text and a solid background.
Welp, I’m off to sleep.5 -
!rant
That great moment when you can just write your code with nobody rushing you and no deadlines
8 -
When somebody asks you what IRC is and the only way you can explain it is 'It's like Slack, but before Slack.'1
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Shit you can apply this to coding too.
"When you fix a bug in your code"
Red: Actually does what you want
Blue: Completely fucks your entire program up.
10 -
Hate when my boss says, "hey you, over there, can please automate this stuff, is a pain in the ass..."
2 -
Found this Nokia 1100, when you see it...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Hint: you can see Windows logo on the screen
3 -
That moment when you know your code can be much shorter and cleaner but you just keep typing because you're too lazy to restructure.1
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When your brain comes up with "You can refactor this later,too!" Slap yourself in the face as hard as you can1
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The difference between small and large companies is astounding when applying for jobs.
Small: "What can you do?"
Big: "What do you look like and speak like?"6 -
Why use css when you can have 100 images to show a circle with a percentage, it's only logical right?10
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That moment when you are testing the product with the PM and you remember all the bugs that happened and all you can think is that you don't trust this abomination
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What music do you listen to when you code? Also, can you please recommend some. Music with minimal to no wording is what interests me. Any suggestions would be appreciated:)37
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That felling when you can't find the name of an function but you can remember the name of a similar function in another language.3
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This Moment when you find code and you have no clue why it exists, but you can remember that it was important...2
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Dat moment when, after some hard work, you can finally delete that abomination your predecessor left you as a present...
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Sad story of how software die 👻!
When do you call a technology obsolete 👴?
Mac user: when you have something new and costly 💰!
Linux user: when it is old and free 🆓 open source alternative are released!
Windows user: when antivirus 🕵 can no longer protect you!1 -
How can you be called a senior developer when you edit a giant SQL stored without first making a backup....4
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When i found out about the matplotlib function xkcd. "with plt.xkcd():".
Everything is so much better when you can plot thr graphs for school in xkcd style. -
There are always three questions i get asked when i tell people I'm a programmer:
Can you take a look at my phone/laptop/pc etc...?
Can you hack?
Whats the green stuff from matrix?3 -
Clients get mad when you asks for more money for the website, but "hey, can you implement this function too??:)"2
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Dat awkward moment, when you think you’re smart because you made AI that can beat first level of Super Mario Bros, but then you see Google Duplex AI2
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When you know the whole week's weather forecast w/o even looking at it, because your neighbours above you are aged people and when they read it out *loud* you can hear it all sooo clearly...
Boy do I want my own house....6 -
when you intentionally break something you just spent a lot of time fixing just so you can understand what fixed it
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Just found out when you right click on YouTube video you can find stats like dropped frames and etc..
4 -
!rant
Moments when you realize how simply you can solve a problem that previously seemed dauntingly complex.
These are the moments I live for1 -
When you can finally leave work after a long day and then your security card's data gets erased and you can't leave the building8
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Even if you are solo, use version control and commit often. When you are working on something completely new, git reset --hard can really get you out of a bind.1
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Why squash commits when you can just --amend the commit and git push -f
#SecretsOfADumpsterFireDeveloper4 -
Windows updates are a bit like SAW, you either inflict the pain on yourself or wait until it is forced upon you.
🤬6 -
You know you are one of those first elite members of devRant when you can have your first name as your username.3
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When my manager says you can do this whole project in 14 days its very easy,
meanwhile project and me
2 -
When you are waiting for something to screw up the whole day so you can rant about it on devRant, but everything goes well. :(
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"Why wait when you can ASYNC ":D
Heard this somewhere long back. Coming back to me now while learning node.5 -
Not rant. Just a pathetic mumbling.
When you live your life hiding your true face, when you live your life keeping quiet because you don't wanna burden the loved ones, when you live your life giving others first priority...
Can you even say that you are living your life?9 -
When you do some researchs on the net, you may not find all the answers, but there are definitely a lot of questions..
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When you are outside taking a walk with your family, but all you can do is fantasizing about running back inside to code.1
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"When you are asked if you can do a job, tell ’em, ‘Certainly I can!’ Then get busy and find out how to do it."
– Theodore Roosevelt
Mr. Roosevelt encouraged a $5000 loss.7 -
When you are developing your game and you realise that there exist a game on the same platform which can do this. 😂
1 -
Featuring: dual booting capabilities!
For when you aren't on Linux for some reason, you can stare at this for a couple of hours!
2 -
When someone asks you to test something before pushing a release...releases anyway and tells you any fixes can just go in the next minor release 😫4
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When you heard your friend wants to recruit someone who can master R, Rails and Swift at the same time....
3 -
You can close the lid of your laptop when installing programs to conserve energy.
Reality1. It resumes
Reality2. It cancels itself (recall when the process cancells in 97%)3 -
I'm sure every tech can relate when I say: "Do not! Interrupt! My weekend! With fucking! Tech issues! Thank you!".2
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That moment when someone asks you, if they can get a Microsoft Office license for free from you.
Admit it! We have all tried it.4 -
You know you're bored when you boot up a random arch iso and just start seeing how fast you can break an install .-.4
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you know that you have a second chance in your life,
when a redbull can fall on your keyboard😫 but the can is empty😥.
saving ~150$2 -
Gotta love having developer friends you can trust to help you out when stuck, this goes to all you unsung heroes!
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That sinking feeling when you realize you’ve been running all you got commands in the wrong repo. 😐 I can fix it but DAMN IT2
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Who needs clarity and maintainability when you can have the adrenaline rush of debugging spaghetti code? 💻🦸♂️2
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When you stress to make a good enough rant so you can receive a stress ball, but now you're stressed so you actually need the damn thing.3
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Product Owner: Hey, can you guys own this incredibly fragile legacy app built with Grails, Angular and Mongo?
Me: No
PO: Go on. You can rebuild it!
Me: Sigh.. ok
- 6 months later -
Me: When can we rebuild this bloody app??
PO: lol sry no budget lmao! -
The best feeling you can have, is when rewriting big parts of code and it works perfectly first try.1
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It's always a good day at work when you can leave knowing that you were able to implement several working features.1
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Light theme + inverted colors = devRant supporter dark theme. Also, when you browse through Android in this mode, you can get some design inspiration.
7 -
When you find it amusing that your boss thinks you can copy and paste SEO from one website to another, you know you've given up.
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When it's weekend and you can spend more time on your personal projects but then you realize that an annoying family member is celebrating his birthday tomorrow
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When you use an Android app on daily basis, upgrades every time when you can, then you remove and reinstall it and get a very different UI and feature set. What kind of black magic is this?
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Why do some developers rebase or resolve merge conflicts when you can just email each other changes and force push?4
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Can anyone tell how you yourself to start coding please 😢especially when you you have alot alot alooot of coding that waiting you and you being lazy about it!😢4
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How can you finish your tasks fast when this fucking Xcode from hell, the worst IDE ever, is slowing you down? $H!+@UC!@#$%^&*3
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that moment when you try to write as "high-level" code as you can because you're gonna send it to your teacher :D3
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When Monday comes round and all you can think about traveling to work is the giant pull request you were asked to review on Friday 🙈
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Don't you love when the designer can do their pretty shit without consulting you and then the client ask you why the shit the designer made looks so different.1
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Turns out there was a 50-car pileup on a highway near LITERALLY FUCKING NOTHING TOWN, USA. Worst until today was 5.
Amazing what an inch of ice'll do.5 -
When you press restart instead of shutdown, and are hoping to see that one annoying program which always stops the shutdown, so you can cancel the restart.4
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When you said your Project Manager that you don't have experience with something: "ok, I will tell client that you can help them with that" :/
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Ansible... Why do one simple task manually, when you can do many smaller more complex ones automatically?
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You know those mice that go "clunk clunk clunk clunk" when you scroll?
Can you really trust someone who makes a decision to use something like that?14 -
When you tell your friend you're good at coding and they ask if you can hack into a Facebook account5
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Wat do you all do when you reach that burn out phase after coding a lot?? Any way that can help me quickly jump back?1
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When was the last time you fix a difficult bug and you make a crazy lunar laugh that makes you lost control of your saliva?
~ I can tell, you code fiercely.2 -
Sure just interrupt me constantly all day, I don't have anything important to do.
"Can you provide an estimate when X will be done?"
"Can you estimate how many questions my colleagues will have?"
Not even just interns. My god.1 -
That day before spring break starts, when no one is teaching you anything and you can just mess around on your laptop and code all day :D
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Advice: always be thankful when you are the idiot because it is easier to change being stupid yourself than changing the other parties stupidity. Example: you can fix wrongly using a 3rd party SDK, but you can most likely not fix internal bugs in the SDK.
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What it feels like when you tell a newbie coder about reflection and all the stuff you can do with it.
3 -
Got into an argument the other day over the definition of scripting languages.
He said python isn’t because it can be compiled while I said it can be both since you can you can use without compiling. Same could be said for Java when using with Selenium for automation.
Thoughts?5 -
Yessss, you can block people on DevRant! Thank you DevRant!
By the way, what exactly happens when you block someone?9 -
When you rewrite your code so a contractor can understand it and you realise...You don't understand it
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When your co-worker writes shitty code that not even he can maintain, you know there's an issue. When said co-worker just goes and fucks up VC, you know there's a problem. When that slimy little motherfucker hits my rubber duck off the table...2
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Dem feels when you cba setting up a project locally but want to use Git anyway for when you can be arsed... new repo once it's in a better place!
3 -
When you start watching an online course and the instructor has a fucking Indian accent and you can barely understand... OMFG!2
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When can you call yourself a web developer? Is it when you start making money off of it, or can do a project successfully? I'm still in my bootcamp, but was just pondering thus with my other classmates. We were very proud that one day we'll call ourselves devs!4
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When you get a shot (immunization) in your right hand because it's your mouse hand and so you can still code with your left.1
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Does ever Code make you cry badly?? Specially when you thought that task is simple and you can do it easily and then you realize oh fuck :(
5 -
Please, can you give me tips on what to talk about when asked “tell me about yourself” during job interviews?12
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"Can you confirm the program is ______?" Is a question you ask a developer when you have some semblance of what the fuck is happening. When you don't have the slightest clue don't try to impress me by guessing or pretending you didn't miss an entire set or requirements.
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Why should you choose between coffee and tea when you can drink both at the same time?
Haha I actually enjoy brewing vanilla tea and coffee ☕5 -
When you read other people's rants and ++'s and feel encouraged that you are not alone. We can (somehow) do this. Thanks everyone!
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“I don’t know whether I’m alive and dreaming or dead and remembering. How can you tell what’s a dream and what’s real, when you can’t even tell when you’re awake or when you’re asleep? Where am I?”
Metallica -One
Woke up with this on my mind.3 -
You can call yourself a senior developer only when you have a Junior developer in place.
#startups #fancynames -
I hate it when you work your ass off for the company product and they don’t even care to send the salary on time. I mean how can you expect your developers to be productive when you don’t even let them have their monthly dose of dopamine. Sometimes this delay can extend to more than one month so young developers out there, please make your decision wisely.3
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That feeling when you don't feel like working but you can still hear bills creeping up on you and you need the money.
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When you have to wake up early to run your builds first or you can wait a day for them fixing jenkins no space left on device...2
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Ever quick-saved in a fallout game right before hacking a terminal... just so when you got locked out you could go back....... but when reading the tutorial you realized that YOU CAN GO BACK TO HACKING A TERMINAL IN 10 SECONDS AFTER YOU GOT LOCKED OUT...
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When you change the owner/group on the sudo file and now you can no longer run sudo and root has been sent #hopethisbackupworksandisquick
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When you read a requirement wrong and can start coding all over again after an afternoon of work...2
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you think that when data comes from server you can read it? well you are wrong! you have to waiForReadReady(0ms) to be able to read data which is already here...
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When you can give a technical talk about Data Science but don't know which text editor you use
https://vimeo.com/189519557#t=2891 -
Publish your code on GitHub or any other platform, when you can. It will serve as a resume and your work can help others.
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Do you guys have a portfolio website? If so can you leave a link :)
And What do recruiters look at when they are browsing the website?10 -
That feeling when you notice, that you have a pokestop right infront of yout house😍....
.... Now I can catch Pokemons without leaving the house. Thank You Lure Modules! -
You think you know when you learn, are more sure when you can write, even more when you can teach, but certain when you can program.
-Alan Perlis -
on one hand - softlayer is way less intuitive than aws...
on the other hand - when your boss tells you you can bring up up to $1000 monthly valued servers, you can forget about the first hand
1 -
!rant
Has anyone had experience in an exclusive pair programming environment? Do you feel you can still be creative? How does it affect your individualism? How can you grab some headspace when you need it?1 -
CAN ANYBODY TELL ME, WHAT YOU ACTUALLY DO WHEN YOU ARE NOT GETTING SOME LOGIC? AND WHEN DO YOU GET LOGIC? EXAMPLE, ME I USUALLY GET LOGIC WHILE I AM IN BATHROOM!10
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Gotta love it when the problem you have with an unfamiliar OSS project is so easy to fix that you can do it yourself
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Can you even call yourself a frontend dev when you betray your backend mindset by prefering JS over CSS and JSX over HTML + DOM API?3
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That moment when you can actually squeeze your programming language into any conversation with your teammates
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You know you've mastered a framework when you can help the offshore dev with errors and bugs without looking at anything.
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Infinite loop definition: when you post on devRant the stickers you received from devRant and you get upvotes, so you can request more swag from devRant that you then post again on devRant.
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times you're asked if you're sure: when you delete and when you try to close a free program. can we get one for dragging dockable windows and toolbars instead?
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Don't you hate it when you think you have the situation under control, you had tested and checked every edge case which you can think of, then you added and double tested some fresh undetected cases from colleagues, QA, project managers and even some of the higher ups, and then when you... [read more]5
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