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I just had a nightmare.
I never became a developer. Instead I had a normal 9-5, didn't do work at home, slept well and spent my free time on social activities.
It was horrible.3 -
Meanwhile at NSA:
Alice: Uhm... Bob? I lost my SSH key...
Bob: *facepalms*
Alice: ... but i still have the public key! Could you please recalculate the private one for me?
Bob: Sure, give me a second. I'll fax it to you when it's ready.
Me: *wakes up from nightmare*13 -
I had a nightmare that I was running "sudo rm -rf /" on my computers for no reason.
True story.
I woke up yelling.4 -
I had a nightmare I was at work, the building was on fire, but I couldn't get out.
I'm more terrified that in this nightmare, my boss told me he uses devrant.17 -
Rebuttal to all these beautiful wiring closet shots. This was taken at my first internship in 2002. As green as I was, I still knew this was awful.
(Pardon the low fidelity; it's a snap of a 14 year old printout!)
4 -
The man who runs my IT department. The man who is in charge of all things and people that are technical: IT management software development, infrastructure, training, help desk, system administration, etc. A man with a staff of fifty plus. If you were to peel back the flesh on this man's head and crack open his skull you would find dung beetles feasting on the feces that power his thoughts and motor functions. Underneath this foul membrane, if you could push past the maggots; the meal worms; his undying love for hourly binges of Johnny Walker Black on any day of the week with a name that contains a vowel; his fascination with shiny objects and his endless internal monologue wondering when they would hatch rainbow ponies that fly; his desire whenever he enters a paint store to open all the cans of paint and taste the different colors; if you could push past all of the vile crap that exists where Thomas Aquinas once theorized there was a soul, you would find a colony of paramecia at the end of their short lives laughing hysterically at how much smarter they were than the host they lived in.
This man was in charge of hiring the Manager of Software Development. The manager I report to. After seven months of ignoring this chore; after interviewing the sum total of four candidates; after making a point to tell myself and a colleague that there was no one qualified to fill this position within our company (an opinion that is both untrue and, when spoken, runs afoul of internal hiring policies) this man hired a soulless cretin with no experience in software development or with running a software development group. A man who regularly confuses web servers and SQL servers. A man who asked me how my previous manager reviewed my work, was told by me that said previous manager read my code, and then replied in his capacity as the manager of software development that "looking at code is a compete waste of time for a manager." A man so without any humanity or reason for being that he will sit silently, creepily, in conference rooms with the lights off waiting for meetings to begin. Meetings he has scheduled. That have no reason for being in the first place. Just like himself.
Shortly before the man in charge offered the Dev Manager job to the simulacrum of human flesh that is my manager, he met with me and others who had been involved in the interview process. When I informed him that hiring someone with no technical knowledge for a very technical position would be a mistake that he would suffer through for years, he replied in reference to his future hire that "his managerial experience makes up for his lack of technical knowledge."
Best. Prank. Ever. Worst prank ever too. Fuck.6 -
A developer's worst nightmare is having amnesia.
Imagine being an expert in 6 programming languages and you suddenly lost your memory.
YOU'RE IN DESTINATION FUCKED ALREADY.5 -
Wow... this is the perfect week for this topic.
Thursday, is the most fucked off I’ve ever been at work.
I’ll preface this story by saying that I won’t name names in the public domain to avoid anyone having something to use against me in court. But, I’m all for the freedom of information so please DM if you want to know who I’m talking about.
Yesterday I handed in my resignation, to the company that looked after me for my first 5 years out of university.
Thursday was my breaking point but to understand why I resigned you need a little back story.
I’m a developer for a corporate in a team of 10 or so.
The company that I work for is systemically incompetent and have shown me this without fail over the last 6 months.
For the last year we’ve had a brilliant contracted, AWS Certified developer who writes clean as hell hybrid mobile apps in Ion3, node, couch and a tonne of other up to the minute technologies. Shout out to Morpheus you legend, I know you’re here.
At its core my job as a developer is to develop and get a product into the end users hands.
Morpheus was taking some shit, and coming back to his desk angry as fuck over the last few months... as one of the more experienced devs and someone who gives a fuck I asked him what was up.
He told me, company want their mobile app that he’s developed on internal infrastructure... and that that wasn’t going to work.
Que a week of me validating his opinion, looking through his work and bringing myself up to speed.
I came to the conclusion that he’d done exactly what he was asked to, brilliant Work, clean code, great consideration to performance and UX in his design. He did really well. Crucially, the infrastructure proposed was self-contradicting, it wouldn’t work and if they tried to fudge it in it would barely fucking run.
So I told everyone I had the same opinion as him.
4 months of fucking arguing with internal PMs, managers and the project team go by... me and morpheus are told we’re not on the project.
The breaking point for me came last Wednesday, given no knowledge of the tech, some project fannies said Morpheus should be removed and his contract terminated.
I was up in fucking arms. He’d done everything really well, to see a fellow developer take shit for doing his job better than anyone else in [company] could was soul destroying.
That was the straw on the camels back. We don’t come to work to take shit for doing a good job. We don’t allow our superiors to give people shit in our team when they’re doing nothing but a good job. And you know what: the opinion of the person that knows what they’re talking about is worth 10 times that of the fools who don’t.
My manager told me to hold off, the person supposed to be supporting us told me to stand down. I told him I was going to get the app to the business lead because he fucking loves it and can tell us if there’s anything to change whilst architecture sorts out their outdated fucking ideas.
Stand down James. Do nothing. Don’t do your job. Don’t back Morpheus with his skills and abilities well beyond any of ours. Do nothing.
That was the deciding point for me, I said if Morpheus goes... I go... but then they continued their nonsense, so I’m going anyway.
I made the decision Thursday, and Friday had recruiters chomping at the bit to put the proper “senior” back in my title, and pay me what I’m worth.
The other issues that caused me to see this company in it’s true form:
- I raised a key security issue, documented it, and passed it over to the security team.
- they understood, and told the business users “we cannot use ArcGIS’ mobile apps, they don’t even pretend to be secure”
- the business users are still using the apps going into the GDPR because they don’t understand the ramifications of the decisions they’re making.
I noticed recently that [company] is completely unable to finish a project to time or budget... and that it’s always the developers put to blame.
I also noticed that middle management is in a constant state of flux with reorganisations because in truth the upper managers know they need to sack them.
For me though, it was that developers in [company], the people that know what they’re talking about; are never listened to.
Fuck being resigned to doing a shit job.
Fuck this company. On to one that can do it right.
Morpheus you beautiful bastard I know you’ll be off soon too but I also feel I’ve made a friend for life. “Private cloud” my arse.
Since making the decision Thursday I feel a lot more free, I have open job offers at places that do this well. I have a position of power in the company to demand what I need and get it. And I have the CEO and CTO’s ears perking up because their department is absolutely shocking.
Freedom is a wonderful feeling.13 -
Last night I dreamt that I had done a large project for a customer.
Upon delivery the customer said:
"Now we just need you to deploy it, and then we're gonna sue Facebook."
"Nooo!", I thought to myself. "I used react for the project!"
It was a true licensing nightmare.3 -
I really feel sad for the person that is going to manage my code in future :(
Poor guy will have nightmare about this6 -
My code review nightmare is reviewing C++ code that was written by Matlab people. Letting them commit code without reviewing it will surely bring Armageddon, but having to watch these horrors...
Functions signature like 'void func(int arr[3])'. Nononononono.21 -
Soooo, i'm assigned to finish a half made prototype of a production line functional test platform.
1 - Some wires were faulty so someone decided to change them.
2 - wild shortcut appears *music fades, screen goes black*
3 - now i have to fix the prototype
4 - Devil's voice whispers on my ear *welcome to heeeeellllllll*
22 -
Some developers get over-excited about using dependency injection and make further maintenance a nightmare.
5 -
The whole "‹‹in what language you program?›› ‹‹english››" joke is all fun and games until you realize there's people who don't program in english...2
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You know, pointers are cool. I like pointers. They allow you so much more control about memory than languages without support for pointers. But fucking null pointers. I could kill them. Why are they such a fucking nightmare to debug?12
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i had a nightmare the other day that i was at work explaining to a friend that 1/3 is the same as 3/9 and i was shocked why they ddnt approve. then they pull out a calculator and i see that while the first fraction yields 0.33 the second yielded 0.057. so i felt so nervous and panicked then i woke up.4
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One of a developer's worst nightmare:
their headphones that they use in work is broken/doesn't work3 -
Today i had a deadline
Decided stuff it im sleeping late
Got a nightmare woke up at 5am instantly solved my problem2 -
All fun and games until you inherit a legacy c project with 30k+ lines of code and a habit of leaking memory and segfaulting intermittently.
That's my worst nightmare at least.3 -
Nightmare came true..
Stackoverflow down..
I am not able to access it...
Checking if it's really down or VPN issues..
Update: VPN is not an issue. It's down.
6 -
Do you guys dream about programming?
Tonight I was dreaming that I was building a client for some API and suddenly it started responding with 500 and then sent me a 50X "metal sound" (I don't remember the actual number), that meant the server was doing noises because of a mechanical failure.
I thought it was cool (because metal 🤘), until I realised the server was running on my laptop.
I started panicking and then woke up.4 -
Had a nightmare last night that I had to give up dev and go back to managing a supermarket. Think this deadline is starting to get to me.2
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Today the IT deparment update the firewall's configuration, they blocked almost every website except email and Google.
The problems:
- Blocked some systems outside the organization, there are in another building and also network
- I can search on Google but I can't see the results outside Google
- Forget about download depencies, libraries, deploy code to outside services, search at StackOverflow
I JUST WANNA SAY GOOD JOB, GUYS
PS: The firewall also block the SSH port, I had explained to my boss and he sent a request for allowing the port, so far no answer3 -
To my horror I've been asked to cover some small jobs for support whilst he's away.. First tap on my shoulder, can you look at my laptop? it's not charging...
Is it plugged in and switched on at the mains..
Yeah, I'm not silly.
It was neither plugged in or turned on.
I made the long and hard transition to DevOps, I now know it was worth it.
Rant Over1 -
I just had a nightmare.
I never became a developer. Instead I had a normal 9-5, didn't do work at home, slept well and spent my free time on social activities.
It was horrible.2 -
My current project is a fucking nightmare.
It started in 2007, using a solution developed by an Indian company due to outsourcing (aka low-quality code).
It's running on Java 7 on the back-end and its front-end side is pure Javascript files. There are thousands of little .js files everywhere, no documentation, no comments, differents coding styles, outdated API that were already outdated at the time, mixed oop and procedural.
Not even when I started coding, I wrote something so horrible.
Yo, it's a clusterfuck and I just wanna get drunk.5 -
This happened today
My Manager: How is the progress so far on the search module?
Me(After implementing some crazy shit requirements): It's all set. APIs are working well against the mock in-memory database. I need an actual database to run my unit tests. Where do we have it?
My manager: Let's pretend that there is no database at this moment. Go-ahead with rest of your activities.
Me(IN MY MIND): F*CK you a** hole. You don't know the first thing of software development! Which a** hole promoted you as a manager!!!
Me(TO HIS FACE): Ah.. okay!! As you wish!3 -
I spent 4 hours finding a good way to instanciate golang structures. Came up with a function that returned a value or pointer and I just kept reusing the nomenclature for an entire project. Then my buddy looks over and goes, "Ethan, you're a f****** idiot", and shows me the standard nomenclature. Now I have to refactor my entire project. FML.
(Edit: typo)13 -
has anyone seen Google's AI face-tree nightmare generator? (a joke from another thread)
They need to be stopped!
12 -
Building a product from scratch is a fucking nightmare.
Teams building such products should be given a green pass to the heaven.10 -
- How do you think, could you port our app to iOS?
- Never did iOS apps, but I will learn and try, maybe I will became iOS dev
Fuck, I'm still supporting it
Dear Android devs, never come to the dark side! It's a nightmare4 -
Repetitive task is my worst nightmare. And I am currently experiencing it, thanks to my fucking stupid shit module at university.
I just want to give up and sleep.2 -
"How long it takes to complete a task"
A slightly exaggerated illustration of why I enjoy coding alone ^^
2 -
In the process of moving our web store to Shopify (yuck!) and we are first creating 150000 fake orders through the API so that as we import our real orders, the numbers match.
I'm disturbed by the fact there is no better way to achieve this and after speaking with support they said our best bet would be asking about it on the forums.1 -
Last night, I had a nightmare. After I freshly installed Debian on my laptop, i run `ls` inside root dir, then i saw `node_modules` inside of it.
OMG 😱
face screaming in fear
Unicode: U+1F631, UTF-8: F0 9F 98 B11 -
Difference between computing and IT: Computing is beautiful, one of the greatest achievements of mankind. IT is a nightmare where everyone sells the exorcism to a new devil of their own making.2
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I used to almost agree with everyone who hates on WordPress for being needlessly complicated and convoluted and with really bad coding. Now, let me introduce you to my new nightmare...Joomla.3
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Well, I helped a client get their website back from being redirected to a microsoft scam website. Even though the restoring process was a nightmare, it feels good to get things working like it was suppose to :)3
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I just had to walk a friend of mine through the process of buying a steam game. Holy shit it was a nightmare.3
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I had a nightmare where the PHP elephant was charging to attack me... nothing like the friendly Postgres elephant.11
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So the next O’rly book I can imagine for this project is:
How did I ended in this microservices nightmare?2 -
Never buy crappy, consumer-grade SSDs for use in production servers/RAIDs. This might sound obvious but at the company I used to work for, through a series of bad decisions by management and cheapness, we ended up with the cheapest consumer SSDs you can imagine powering all of our storage.
This turned into a nightmare spanning years of failed hard drives and a continues cycle of ridiculousness. Drive failed after a few days, gets taken out, sent back to manufacturer and then replaced with another equally crappy drive destined to fail within days/weeks.
Our ops people were going to the data center multiple times per week to replace failed drives. Lesson I learned: cheaping out on system-critical hardware and software can have long standing consequences and in the end usually doesn't end up actually saving money when you account for time employees have to spend dealing with issues that result from it. -
It was a nightmare about a nuclear attack, I was afraid and looking for some cave or basement to hide from radioactive winds.
Then I woke up to find 5 missed calls and emails about a critical bug in production.3 -
Article 13 is like a nightmare,
already mass surveillance is widespread and getting stronger with new laws (hint Australia),
now freedom to express ourselves is eroding.
🤐🤐🤐2 -
Fuck you edge cases! This task was supposed to be a breeze and thanks to you it’s turning into a nightmare 🤯2
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I woke up screaming today. I had a nightmare where I ran git pull on the project I work on every day, and it had become a .NET project.6
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As a kid (in the 90s) I used to get a reoccurring nightmare that my family computer would get a blue screen of death and start screaming at me.
Legit hated computers as a kid because of that.2 -
Leading a team of 10 people, 5 environments (3 non prod 2 prod) to support, 25 formal deployments per week, and all I have is one fucking repository in fucking svn.
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After years of working on projects where you git clone, npm install, npm start, I get catapulted into this PHP nightmare built on Symfony, and that has zero documentation or tests...
I hate Mondays.3 -
I need to create a npm module for creating react-native app with MobX and TypeScript.
The whole setup is a nightmare.
create-react-native-typescript-mobx-app seems insane
4 -
MacBook Pro's (2017) keyboard is a fucking nightmare. So far Ive had more than 10 keys being detached from the keyboard. Luckily Apple has replaced those keys for free but this should not be a fucking problem on a $2600 laptop. Fucking hell.9
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Decided to learn C++ to write a server daemon for Linux. That's going to be a nightmare. I haven't managed to do anything in 4 hours. How do I use external libraries?! 😭😭4
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I recently made a meme of our nightmare client (only posted internally of course), and a coworker even made her into a Slack emoji. How do you let off steam when you're developing for the devil?4
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A programmers biggest nightmare. Going to sleep and losing the workflow and ideas.
I have to go to sleep. Noooo.....2 -
So, does anyone else dream about programming? I had this awful nightmare last night about JS, I think I might been working to much..3
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bad nightmare: getting a bug on the day of deployment..
worst nightmare: getting more than 100 comments on a Rant with no ++2 -
PM wrote a really high-level requirement doc and asked me about estimates.
Me: Well, functionality-wise it will take 4-5 days provided the design is ready.
PM: Our designers are really full on schedule; Just do it! Expand your creativity. I believe in your taste of UX
Me: Listen, the implemented design will take much more time to change if we go back and forth. It's better to revise on the designer's screen.
PM: Oh don't be so modest! I trust you already. Just focus on the functionality, get it done first. For the design we'll talk about it later. Move fast and break things!
Me: ..Sigh. This is gonna end up badly.6 -
Best: learned a lot of new things: vueJS, ES6, Bootstrap, CSS3 transitions and transforms, use of some cool JS libraries...
Worst: an awesome web page turns a nightmare because of endless "upgrades" that the client wanted (I'm aiming to finish it soon)1 -
Well.. Free and stunning in one sentence in the internet??? 😂 😂 😂. Wix is my biggest nightmare, As I have to do a website for a client with wix... I even proposed js+wordpress, but no, he wants wix...
3 -
A client wants me to build his website. He want a WordPress one, with a tool named Elementor to let him build stuff and upgrade the website by his own.
Seriously, Wtf is this shit !? That's a pure nightmare to work with !5 -
Being assigned an old system that has scarce/cryptic documentation and uses global variables for everything. Not a maintenance nightmare at ALL.3
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I just had a nightmare I spilled my gin inside my computer. Might be putting that back under my desk... And not leaving drinks on my case with an open top...4
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No indents, except a couple of random senseless ones here and there, nightmare! And I had to debug it😖1
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WHAT THE FUCK!!!
Whoever says that MacOS is superior or at least on par with Linux in terms of ease of maintenance -- feel free to stick a backwards pinecone up your asshole and push it down with a baseball bat with 5" nails.
The FUCK is this nightmare. You can't even start a process w/o logging in via GUI, password changes are another horror story, esp. for users who have never logged in [warning says to change keystore pass separately... Which doesn't exist...], vnc uses some proprietary protocol, ...
Seriously, even SunOS is easier to maintain, not to mention AIX, compared to this BSD nightmare of a UNIXoid....
Wtf....3 -
I asked him: "What are the projects conventions?"
He replied: "Everyone codes as he likes to"
And I was like... It will be a nightmare😂😂3 -
The moment you realize that your dev colleague has just totally given up on the project (and you get why)...
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Privacy nightmare!
So i had bought a second hand iPhone and it seemed the phone was reset as it had only the default apps.
But as soon as I downloaded Google Chrome on to it, things started to get weird. When i opened the newly downloaded Google Chrome app, it showed someone else's Google account already logged in Chrome. I went to the Chrome settings and the account section gave me full control over this person's Google account.
Not wanting any trouble, i didn't go further and removed that account from the browser.
I then logged in to Google Chrome via one of my "project specific" google account i had created months ago and it added fine. But guess what I found when checking out safari browser.
Safari has somehow synced bookmarks from my main & personal Google account!!
I'm just stunned. I didn't even provide gmail id of my personal Google account and safari somehow was able to get bookmarks from it.
I'm kind of scared now. 😵3 -
A dev's worst nightmare can be summed up as this:
"Working on updates
5% Progress
Don't turn off your computer"
So much for getting some work done tonight.....5 -
Working with Electron is a nightmare...
"Hey you have a working app? Nice, here is the new Electron version which breaks everything! Now find out how stuff works now, because we won't tell you! Good luck"8 -
Forced to use SVN at work as it's baked into our core product and it's a constant nightmare. The struggle is real.4
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Every programmer's worst nightmare is when Stack Overflow says "You are the first one to ask this question".5
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So, I'm looking into something and end up on Stack Overflow. Someone posted the question:
"Does minified javascript improve performance?"
This question was old as shit, all they way from 07/25/09, and about an Adobe Air application. (Remember that? Me neither...) It had a great, accepted, and still accurate answer, posted the same day the question was asked. Now, fast forward 8 years and on 12/08/17 (A mere 7 months ago...) the following answer was posted. I don't know what they were thinking, but here it is, complete and unabridged, with my comments in square brackets:
"I'd like to post this as a separate answer as it somewhat contrasts the accepted one: [Somewhat contrasts? More like completely contradicts...]
Yes, it does make a performance difference as it reduces parsing time - and that's often the critical thing. For me, it was even just simply linear in the size and I could get it from 12s to 4s parse time by minifying from 3MB to 1MB. [First off, your parse time should NEVER be THE critical thing, but secondly, and more importantly, WHO THE FUCK HAS 1MB OF MINIFIED JS ON A PAGE!!!]
It's not a big app either, it just has a couple of reasonable dependencies. [THERE IS ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY NOTHING REASONABLE ABOUT ANYTHING HE JUST SAID! What dependancies is he using?! You could use minified and not even gzipped jQuery, AngularJS, Vue, Ember, React, AND Dojo libraries on the SAME PAGE, AND have 118k of application code, AND STILL NOT HAVE HIT 1MB QUITE YET!!!]
So the moral of the story here is: Yes, minifying is important for performance - and not because of bandwidth, but because of parsing. [Javascript should NEVER take longer to parse then to download, even on a low powered device...]"
So, yeah, I'm at a loss for what this guy was thinking, but the thought the people like this exist, and that my browser might one day be subjected to their horrific nightmare of code terrifies me...2 -
You know when you are true developer when you have nightmares about non functioning code and bugs without solutions...1
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Not joining the weekly rant.
But had a haunted dream last night and it was definitely weird.
Dreamed that I was at my childhood house and opened the door of my room. Found literally nothing. Just empty room. Got scared (for whatever reason) and run to my mom. Came back to the room with her. Opened the door. Everything was in it's place; bed, chair, table etc.
I didn't watch any scary movie for the past few months. There was one scary dream few months/weeks ago and I wrote about it. And now this. 🤔1 -
Trying to find that one line of php you need to change in a magento project
App/design/frontend/base/default/template/this/is/not/gonna/be/the/template/youre/looking/for/fuckyou.phtml -
Look who is here!!
First of all, when was it ever stable and I can bet nightmare for front end developer has just begun.
5 -
I had a nightmare this morning in which I had been working on a project for months without pushing my commits to the remote server. Then the office suddenly burned down and I had to tell my boss that months of work was lost because I was too lazy to push. He was sooo mad. 😬2
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Fuuuuu rtl languages!!
I love them, they look fancy, true.. but are a total nightmare to select text. My stüpid brain will never get it right on the first try..or second or... :/2 -
Cursee's Bizarre Nightmare Series
Dream 3
I was a gay in the dream.
---
What in the fuck is happening in my brain?4 -
My source of rants in Scala.
Why the fuck the binaries are not compatible?
Every major update is a nightmare!1 -
- Fire up Windows VM
- Wait through the nightmare of installing all the updates
- Fire up Edge
- Go to slack.com
- "your browser is not supported. Download a supported browser or use the Slack app"
yupp.. Windows browser is still the best for downloading Chrome6 -
I'm so done with auth
it's more than a nightmare
it's a disgrace
why can't someone just be like "you know how auth and identity is hard? why don't we make it easy?"
I would pay so much for that9 -
!rant
Waze is actually devRant for drivers / commuters...
On a side-note - Cluj-Napoca is a nightmare on monday mornings before 8 am... :/
8 -
I just spent a week of mails because some "huge" company wanted me to do a plugin for their software by consuming theirs "brand new SOAP WS"... its full of bugs, bad documentated and slow as hell. I regret the moment when i said yes to be part of this nightmare haha2
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Didn't go to work today because of commuting issues.
It's fucking night and I'm receiving notification of boss sending me photo on messenger. back to back.
I haven't opened the app yet and I'm legit scared if it has anything to do with me not coming to work.
Or even worse nudez.
:/ -
I hate yaml; finding that one wrong indentation level that makes everything goes to hell while still being perfectly parseable is a nightmare. Brackets were created for a reason, please don't throw away that.5
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Hennies I need your assistance!
My boss has put me in charge (wow yes I was surprised too) of figuring out what a good solution to our current testing nightmare would be. Therefore my questions for you are:
What kind of testing strategy do you work with at your job? Do you use any tools for it? How's the division of unit tests/service tests and/or UI tests?
I'd really appreciate you guys' input on what works (and what doesn't, in case you're living a nightmare with testing daily)10 -
Getting your web app working on mobile Safari and iOS like the other browsers is the worst nightmare, like in the old days with IE. It has a lot of stupid restrictions and lacks support for browser standards.
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I happened to come help with a project that deadline was in two weeks. It was hardware project for customers with UI.
They said to me - help us 2 weeks and it’s done. It only needs polishing. There was nothing working and we finished it after half a year.
Hardware was crap and drivers wasn’t working. Managers called me stupid when I tried to explain that this is hardware team fault. They used to say that it was tested in laboratory and there is no defect. Laboratory my ass fucking assholes never released anything from scratch.
I got depressed after this project for a year. It was fucking nightmare.
Everything, literally everything was rewritten 3 times cause of stupid decisions that I questioned all the time. At the end of project most of those assholes stopped commenting my decisions. I believe we released impossible product that was crap but based on usage rates I got later when I left it returned expenses.
I lost like 2 years of my life and about 20kg during those 6 months. Never again. -
When this development rush nightmare started in october, I thought I could handle it until January.
Now, I just don't know how without destroying myself.
This is one of these important things one should to learn.1 -
Software development is a special kind of a nightmare. The kind that you wish you could wake up from, but can’t, because code is money and money is life.4
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TL;DR: fear of bricking my laptop due to typo pinning.
The worst nightmare i am living in right now...
I was noticing i did need some software in sid so i decided to use apt pinning for said software...
I configure the system, ok test looks good... I push it to production, run it on the system....and the nightmare starts.
Lits of packages get updated, and i am screaming 'noooooooo' since debian sid softwarz can sometimes break everything! I discovered that i did test my apt pinning config for the presence of the amount of numbers, but not at their value... Sooo, by accident swapping pin numbers for stable and unstable you get... Your worst apt-get update nightmare...
I hope it does not become a brick.1 -
Problem of developers
When he tries to sleep at night, the code he wrote that day comes to his mind and he starts thinking opps I would have done that in a better way like this. I would have optimised that function like this. ok tomorrow I will do these changes.1 -
This thing. My C:\ drive is full, and I bought it almost a month ago. It's the solution to all my problems and my biggest nightmare (I need to do a clean install).
6 -
Code editors as Doom skill levels:
coda = I'm too young to die.
notepad++ = Hey, not to rough.
sublime = Hurt me plenty.
vi = Ultra-Violence.
emacs = Nightmare!3 -
Had a nightmare last night where I was called in to do a coding challenge against two other people...on a whiteboard only and no Google or StackOverflow. I couldn't even get one line of code written. The other two guys got a bunch. Too bad one of my real life projects has a lot in common with this nightmare.
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The worst kind of legacy code is the one in which a function body run miles climbing if-else ladders until nobody knows where the sky hits the floor, and returns when nobody is looking.
The best kind of legacy code is the one which is fully commented out! -
let me tell you a nightmare imagine working on an accounting system alone which is web based using native php and front end languages that's my life now -_- this thing cannot be completed :/3
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Did anyone of you check the new Facebook Raymond shit?
Nightmare material.
Edit: https://youtu.be/_uOFWU4o3tw10 -
When every night is a launch night... So tired.
Been trying to launch this Magento 2 application for about 3 weeks now. It's going to be the death of me. -
python + rename == nightmare.
I cannot be fully confident every rename is safe. Because there's no compiler check to tell me o.o17 -
Nightmare for dev at timesofindia .. And it's Monday morning . Didn't knew they had hybrid app untill this . Love Js .
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I have a single WinForm class, stuffed with all the logic it needs. 11k fucking lines of fucking nightmare code!!!4
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Basically, going to an IT school and being the only one who actually knew how to program, every group project was a nightmare, now at university I don't have any group projects luckilly
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Why do I always have to refactor bad written code ? Is this some kind of karma ?
Undocumented, written by a senior but looks like it was a junior, no unit tests, variables with meaningless names, duplicated code and every possible thing you can find in that kind of code.3 -
I'm a bit cornered. A week into an ambitious refactoring effort that was supposed to take just a couple of days to finish, the end doesn't seem anywhere near. The system went from a messy albeit perfectly functional state to a much better structured non functional bag of bugs. If I leave the branch all the efforts are lost. If I soldier forward I'll be unproductive for good knows how many days to come.
How did I ever fuck myself so hard!1 -
Writing code for software that was deprecated since 2015 it's a nightmare. More when the unit tests take way more time than the actual fix or feature. Just kill it with fire
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ln -s **/node_modules/bin ~/.node_modules/
...proof that Satan is real and also that he has push access to this git repo
In what nightmare world does this work and/or is it a good idea -
ArseHole, for simple CRUD, my client suggest to use WordPress. Then they added payment and booking system. I asked why still using WordPress????? It's nightmare to work three peoples on functions.php file.
Fuck off. Go fuck yourself. 😣7 -
The next time I have the brilliant idea to make a visual studio multi solution template, will someone please slap me? What a fucking nightmare.
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I think I just woke up from a nightmare and inception.
I was dreaming about not being able to sleep because I was hearing loud noises all night.
Anyone else every had that?2 -
!dev
Had a strange dream. I was in some place where I looked at some people or maybe one person I don’t know now making some ritual. Some sort of forming a new life being from white piece of modeling clay of something. Telling some spells. Standing in front of big jar. Like you see some old pictures of the witch or something in front of big jar telling spells and this white piece of clay was forming but I didn’t saw it to the end. Those people or person didn’t see me and I was very absorbed by the whole ceremony. I was alone ? I don’t know now but probably. Maybe I was in some sort of jar in the room of this witch as one of her trophy watching it behind the safety glass. So me was very small and this ritual was made by some giant.
As my mind start becoming aware what I am watching suddenly I heard voice of my mother that was screaming to me to get the fuck out of here.
I saw her running and someone was running toward me with big knife to kill her before she reach me.
I didn’t saw his face, before my mother reached me I turned around so he didn’t know my face either. I covered my face with my hands to don’t see him stabbing me with his big knife made of steel. Then I woke up lol. When I woke up I felt like I am slowly going back to my body.
I still have thrills 40 minutes later when I am writing this.
I probably didn’t suppose to see this ritual.
I slept for about 2 hours and I am fully awake and feel rested.
Well some of my dreams are really fucked up.8 -
Working on personal app project..got a feature idea... work all night to develop the feature, at morning I realized that feature is useless in my app ..Fuck that moment
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Can this week be over now(), it's been an absolute nightmare in terms of development. I just want to sleep.1
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android, a real nightmare to get something working in all its versions and screens and different vendors devices2
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When you pass a subject in one go where you cannot even fucking pronounce terms, symbols and notations in half of the chapters.
Also, just few hours before the exam, I was like, "Fuck this shit lets watch football".
P.S - Physics, the biggest nightmare of any CS student.
(Sorry it might sound a little OT but it had to be posted 😅)
7 -
Being in a meeting my colleagues "caused" by not meeting an impossible deadline for a project I wasn't assigned to...
I just sat there not being able to say anything because I didn't know what the hell was going on.... -
Weekend's ruined, thanks to QAs for more bugs. Having a fever and bugs together? It's a nightmare, a potential lifetime trauma.
(ノಥ,_｣ಥ)ノ彡┻━┻2 -
I lost the book that i store all my passwords on it
I almost had a heart attack and
I woke up from my dream2 -
woke up in a cold sweat and all i can remember from my nightmare is "there's a party in ring -2 and no one's invited"7
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The man just asked how to make folders with the command line, what on earth is this 100-line nightmare json?
https://superuser.com/a/14187013 -
Trying to get Darkflow running on Windows is an absolute nightmare of endless debugging. Now I understand why everyone's been using Linux distributions for Tensorflow stuff.
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Goddamnit, why did yarn have to replace "yarn install" with "yarn add"? When you're switching between npm and yarn, its a fucking confusing nightmare.1
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Today I had a dream, not sure if I can call it a nightmare:
I was doing ReactJS + TypeScript. but no matter how much I try, I can't seem to match the type of the variable/object. The IDE ( WebStorm ) kept showing RED marks under the variables & I kept trying, but no solution!
& Finally I woke up at 3 am :|1 -
Arrrrgh Fuck this shit. I thought debugging someone's code was fucked up. I was wrong, try debugging someone's unit tests.... Absolute nightmare
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Ethernet switch is broken
This happened last week, parts of our lan was working so could still connect to our svn server but no internet at work for a couple of days bar stack overflow on my phone. -
Worked on a project where for three month had not even a single task. First week was a nightmare, later on ive lost hope and decided to learn something fancy. So in the end it was fun.
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Once I wanted to be part of a prpduct development team, until I got to see its code. Layers and layers of code like baklawa, even worse maybe. Every dev using that layer in his own way! A nightmare!
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When you open a SQL File and you just here Maligaro whisper in your ear: " do you know the true face of nightmare, exile?"
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I didn't realise how much home office messed me up until I went into the office again... holy fuck, it feels like I just woke up from some nightmare.
I cannot explain it, but I feel a lot better now.2 -
How do I find all of the AWS resources' arn identifiers? I'm trying write shit in terraform but making granular IAM policies is a nightmare.3
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Bugs: These are not bed bugs. For programmer they are a nightmare, to customer we introduce them as a new feature and say, “My software has no bug. It just develops random features.”
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I've went away but now I'm back. My last job was a fucking nightmare, they were well into my rants! New job now. I'll be tearing into my old one in due course. Watch this space.
3 -
SegWitAdress.org is really awesome if you know how to use it.It was my nightmare so do not use it...3
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A new company I work at just revamped their website but decided to keep their live chatting system. LiveZilla.
What a piece of shit system. Forums are a ghost town, and documentation is crap. Full of bugs. Programmers' nightmare -
A lot of my apps are hosted in Debian servers from a long time.
I'm upgrading some machine to Debian 10 and it's a nightmare: phpmyadmin and monit packages are no more available.
Any suggestion?
Is there someone in the same situation?6 -
The worst technology for me is definitely c++ build system. Every other library is using something else. This is why I stopped using c++ these days. To get all libraries and build them is a nightmare.3
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So we just started being taught javascript. God, this syntax is a nightmare! The jump from ruby has not been a pleasant one, but picking up Jasmine at the same time seems to be helping a little. I can learn this in a week, right?1
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What is your worst project you have worked on ?
Ans) my self, I have worked on CMS project called as Ellis pathway, which is my ever worst project I have worked on. It was developed on the language called omnimark, have you by any chance heard about it ?. Moreover it was used to process XML and the worst nightmare would when XML is 500mb and it is not valid after process. I have spent shit lot of hours fixing XML manually.. I literally fucked my self there. Thank God I somehow managed to quit and move on. -
I had a dream last night that I saw php error logs from my code floating above people's houses if they were using the site.
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Learning ES6 arrow functions from Kyle Simpson's workshop video. Amazing how something that was designed to be a syntactic sugar turned out to be a code readability nightmare :(1
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filled train. to the left business men with maximum size balls, to the right an elderly woman talking nonstop to a stranger. and no power outlet for my drained computer.10
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Did you ever had a dream where you didn’t know the solution to a problem and you tried to Google it, only to get frustrated and find no results? Did I have a programmers nightmare?2
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Old man wants to update site/blog. What can I set up that would be (very) easy for him to use (add posts). Currently on WordPress and it's a nightmare!2
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i start to believe that cache odd the browser cache is the worst and in the same time most brilliant invention.
because it's a nightmare to serve the right content at times but other time is the perfect escape host for any problem. ;) -
I hate so much RStudio that it gives me anxiety attacks whenever I try to debug something with it. What a fucking nightmare1
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Building atom on an RPI 2 with this fuckstickle of a package manager is a bloody nightmare. Works without issue on Raspbian Jessie, implodes into a spectacular clusterfuckeroni on Raspbian Stretch.
Been on it since yesterday, 10/10 weekend saved. -
Will the cocksuckers who create remote syslog viewer applications as abstractions over standard Linux tools create some Linux-like fucking abstractions. One can only learn so many different query langs(however similar) in his fucking lifetime. It's an operational nightmare ffs1
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I had a nightmare where I was in my bed, unable to move, and my stepdad was touching my body and smiling creepily13
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Today I used NDepend to analyse my new jobs code base. It looks like the classic big ball of mud :(1
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We receive by mail the build report launched by Jenkins so I get It on my smartphone. Bad idea, I make nightmare of "BUILD FAILURE" and endless stack traces..
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I get why people like to split code in multiple files for maintainability but its a fucking nightmare if you want to understand code and you have to go from file to file to file to find the origin of 1 API-Call.1
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GameSparks. Flaky, slow, unreliable, overpriced, uses an antiquated JavaScript interpreter (Rhino), no real modules, a f'ing nightmare.
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Rather than using the project management software that the company has spent the past year getting set up and stuck into, the new ops manager seems to think that faffing around in Google Sheets and making pretty schedules is the way forward.
If you're doing some work that's in your actual job list, but not in the new pipeline, ohhhh boy. -
Just rebase a merge conflicts with LFS enable. What a fucking nightmare. And bitbucket, please eat a dick you useless cunt.
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