If you're not learning anything new at your job it's probably time to move on.

My worst developer sin is probably me talking sh*t about programs I could never have done better myself.

"Omg, this is so inefficent!"
"Omg, the ui is so confusing!"
"What kind of idiot would do that?"

...I'm not the only one who does that, am I?

Client: Can you build a Snapchat clone but better?

Me: I’m going to say probably not logical given the resources they have and what we have, but for curiosity, what kind of budget do you have?

Client: $2500.

Me: Get out.

Trying to make a not realistic deadline,set today for yesterday. Pleasing clients is what I do.

With a little #catsupport, she is probably wondering why I'm not in bed so she can sleep on me.

bitchface micromanager keeps telling me i don't communicate enough, don't do enough, am not fast enough, etc.

So i've been sending her a weekly summary of ~50 bullet points of things I did during the week, issues encountered, workarounds found, research findings, who i talked to, etc. all organized by task with links to the tickets.

My work volume hasn't increased (probably decreased, actually) but it certainly looks like I'm doing a lot. probably because i am? but she doesn't listen during standup, so... victory by a hundred bullet points it is!

Hello everybody! I'm probably not supposed to be ranting here becuase I'm not a dev but I started my journey today towards Android by spending a whole day successfully making a Java program and just wanted to share my free and satisfied feeling with you all!

Probably not how it works

Just set up a Vim profile on my keyboard. Is it going to help me any? Probably not. But it does look cool!

I'm currently programming on the cms REST api for the privacy site (its finally getting somewhere by the way) and I just noticed that I'm programming way cleaner and WITH comments.

My subconcious is probably keeping the fact that the entirety of devRant will see my code in a not too far future 😅

Just discovered that one of my coworkers(well...my boss really) has the uncanny ability to detect fonts and sizes with extreme accuracy.

For some of you that may be not impressive at all and some can probably do it too. But its like...not only on websites man...she can do it on things that we see printed, menus and stuff.

That to me at least is very impressive.

Dear Telegram, the fact that you're using a service which provides app usage/metrics/analytics kind of is not nice.

"But they've got the right to!"

Of course they do. But, when you advertise yourself as a messaging app focused on privacy, I expect you to behave that way.

And yes, we know your crypto is broken as fuck but that's not the point right now.

Oh and yeah, the next blog item will probably be about Telegram and how not-privacy friendly it is.

Boss: we have to cache everything.
Me: but some parts of the page are dynamic, we can not cache them
Boss: EVERYTHING!!!!

Few days later...

Boss: This part of the page displays the wring content!
---------------------------

Well duh. If content changes with every request caching is probably not a good idea...

I saw this yesterday and thought it's kind of nice. Probably not everybody will understand it as it's German. But the level of creativity is definitely gratifying

On the train's public WiFi while traveling and want to use a VPN connection to one of my own VPN servers.

I'm now just realizing that the openvpn port is probably not an allowed one on this network and I set the port to the default openvpn one 😥

Fuck me sideways right now.

Nose picking manager.
I mean this fucker picks his nose even when he’s talking face to face,
And am not talking about just cleaning it,am talking about putting the finger in all the way and probably trying to dial a number...

What do you call 8 hobbits?
A hobbyte!

You've probably already heard this one but if not and your a LoTR fan, your welcome.

Note: 40% of the time this works all the time as a pickup line.

Not even algo this time. Probably not what the ranter meant by change log, but close enough

Biggest dev insecurity?

Probably http://
It’s not secure at all, never feeling very confident when browsing that protocol.

I feel the need to take a different approach to this week's rant. I think someone needs to defend teachers, for a number of reasons. Obviously this is probably out of place on devRant but it is a kind of rant against those who think they know everything and have nothing to learn.

1) Teachers are not industry specialists. They do not spend their lives keeping on top of the latest framework or project management methodology or code management tool. They are educators and that brings its own set of out of hours challenges and training exercises.

2) They have a course to teach and have probably used the same one for quite some time. Years probably. They (should) teach the fundamentals of programming not a particular language or syntax or quirk. Those fundamentals don't really change. Logic, problem solving, precision, structures, etc.

3) They need to provide a course which will cater for different skill levels. There are always class members who are bored because it's too easy and others who struggle in any subject.

4) Teaching is like any profession - there are really, really good ones, OK ones and there are shit ones.

5) They have probably never developed a detailed project or solution in their lives. They don't know the pitfalls and challenges that teams face in this kind of environment. Should they - maybe. But the probably don't.

I think that's all... I'm not a teacher (although I did fancy the idea at a time) but just feel they get a rough ride sometimes (particularly on here).

This guy is supposed to be a "spring framework guru"

Yo Mr. Guru, this is not how you write a pom file especially when you are teaching someone who probably is new to programming. Just think if the new guy/girl goes on to write such xml files in the future. What are you even trying to do man.

Me: will you be my date this valentine's day?

Her: What? No ways!!

Me: sudo will you be my date this valentine's day?

Her: Hell ya !! 😘
.
.
.

Me: *wakes from sleep* Damnit, wish I could sudo everything!!😓

HUGE FUCKING DILEMMA FOR ME.

I will probably get the chance of choosing a company phone soon (as in, next few days).

Option 1: Android - not allowed to root or anything crazy so I'll have a partly open system but with google tracking fully enabled at all times (most probably).

Option 2: iOS - Also not allowed to jailbreak or anything 'weird' but it's entirely closed source. Although no Google tracking shit.

I honestly have no clue what to choose.

Halp.

When the code is not working:

I have failed my parents, my job and everyone. I shouldn't have taken Software Engineering as my profession. All I'm doing is giving pain and frustration to everyone. *thinks about a clean way of suicide*

Then after a while the code works:

I am probably the best engineer to live on these planet.

Got my long-awaited stickers a few days ago, thanks devRant! Now I 'just' need to buy a new laptop to stick them on (which will probably not happen until ~December..)

So this guy starts a Kickstarter campaign to collect 50$ for his chicken nugget calculator app...
He wants 50$ to get a playstore license which costs 25$? (I think)
And then to make the app probably takes not even an hour.

I hope this is a joke haha

!rant
Something that has probably stuck with me the most and has changed how I think about things:

"If you can't think of at least 3 different ways to approach an issue, you do not fully understand it yet."

Probably the first time I ever saw a picture of a semi-naked girl on a screen and had a moment to myself.

Oh, that's not what you meant by "exposure"?

Probably the jankiest fan that I've ever built 😂
I just need it to not sweat gallons on the bus and needed it to be done quick and dirty to not miss the bus so meh.. kinda curious about the looks that I'll get for using this thing to cool myself though 🙃

If your issue is not on StackOverflow and you can't find it on the web:

Go another way, you're probably doing something very wrong!

(I have solved many problems remembering this)

How tf does these even make sense?! That's a fucking sledgehammer and large metal chisel on fucking steroids. If your parents don't know what the fuck those are and realize they have nothing to do with fixing a relatively flimsy box (in comparison) they probably need more than their WiFi fixed, but since they managed to fucking raise you, I doubt they're that dumb. I get that parents might not always understand technology, but shit, at least respect the fact that they survived without the Internet, which you probably couldn't do...

Before you rant, make sure it's not a repost.
Q: How do you know if it's a repost?
A: If it's a meme on the internet, so very probably that it's already posted here.. so don't

Me: *click click click click*

Girlfriend: Do you have to be so loud when you're typing?!

Me: probably not *CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK*

//Gonna see how far this goes... Buying a mechanical keyboard on my break :D

I fucking hate paperwork. I can't switch to the network team for probably 5 more months because it got lost somewhere. I want to put my degree use!! I'm not doing a damn thing with it at the moment 😭😭😭

In approximately 9 hours I'm probably going to humiliate myself in a meeting
I was given 5 days to write a sh script.
And guess what..
I still have not started
FML...🤦‍♂️

Is it just me or does this shirt make no sense? If your coffee was empty, then it would return true and you would keep coding. If it was not empty you would fill it.

Plus it's not a while loop, so unless this is some sort of recursion you wouldn't keep going....

This is probably my last post for a while! I’m leaving for my honeymoon and we are going on a cruise and I ain’t gettin the WiFi! Hell naw!! Not taking any laptop, not answering phone!! Feels sooooo gooooood!! Especially after this shit week. I’ll be away from it all for 9 days!!!!!!!

We are going a day early so I might lurk a bit here and there but not much. 86 everything and everyone’s bs! Just me and my beautiful wife!

If it doesn't make you wrack your brain, it's probably not worth doing.

My coworkers are all working remotely because they're hungover, and all shocked I'm in the office today.

You think a night of drinking and 4 hours of sleep is enough to hold me down? Please. If I'm hungover enough to not go to work it means I'm probably in the hospital lol.

That being said, I have discovered that scotch does not agree with my stomach, so I'm not having the best time. At least I'm here though!

Foday my father argued with me that:
* "HTML programmers" get payed a lot
* WordPress is awesome
* wordpress programmers get payed a lot
* WordPress doesn't need to be secure
* FileMaker is 100% virus-free (probably malware free), because not many people use it
* UX and UI design are exactly the same

When in doubt, just add another ; or }

Not cleaning before committing.
You'll probably see lots of /*unused codes*/ in my projects.

It's a weird feeling when you find yourself wondering why the button is not responding, only to realize you've been clicking on the design mockup and not the actual web app you're making...

...at least it probably means the implementation is getting really close to the design.

I'm expecting probably no, but in the name of outdoorsy things not at all related to code, anyone else here enjoy electric bicycles?

Just grabbed this thing and it's absurdly fun, and helps me put some social distance between myself and other riders.

The 2018 bucket list!

I sort of swear to be a good coder, to take honour and dignity in all the lines I write, I will not take shortcuts, I will obtain a +80% test coverage across my projects, write clean and accurate documentation, and ultimately I will write less bugs!

Yea..., probably not but worth a try anyway!!

them: "This external HD isn't compatible with my Mac."
me: "It is, it probably just needs to be formatted."
them: *hands me box, with HD still in plastic wrap*

So, how do you know it's not compatible?

Next time my wife falls asleep on the couch, I am not going to play Battlefield, I'm going to work on my side project...

Yes I am...
Yes I am...
... Probably...
🤔

Years of mandatory corporate IT security training has taught me not to open this car, its probably a virus.

Couldn't remember how to write to console in c#. Refused to Google it. Wasted probably a good 10 minutes being stubborn. Turns out it was Console.WriteLine not Console.WriteLn

NO! I DO NOT WANT YOUR SLUTTY USB IN MY LAPTOP'S HOLE, It's probably infected by all those computers of people installing every single program on earth.

Me: eh probably shouldn’t push to prod on Friday, maybe not even before the first...

Co worker: no balls

Me:

The worst (best) pun I've seen in a while.

I hope it was intentional. Probably not. But one can hope.

"We should probably fix that security issue, but the application already works, so it does not matter" - My boss

when your boss can't distinguish back end from front end web dev

I admit the lines are blurred, but the guy whose background is pure front end probably shouldn't be designing databases, and I'd rather not spend my days trying to make videos autoplay on mobile on the company website

Google: buys Android
Makes tons of $ from Ads
Meanwhile 7 year old bugs
Are still not fixed

A bug reported in 2012: recently created files are not visible when using MTP protocol.

Guess what? I still have this bug on my 2017 phone, like many other people.
Probably has something to do with file cache.

Because obviously 7 years is not enough to fix a stupid bug. Especially when Google is busy implementing all the other features nobody asked for except marketing department

Boss: So what are your biggest achievements for this year?
Me: mmm, probably not killing myself
Boss: .....
Me: I meant I reduced the number of fraudulent transactions in our service by adding machine learning to flag suspicious transaction
Boss: Yeah, you should've start with that
Me: .....

Is unlimited beer involved?

If not, probably the first thing would be a micro brewery.

FUCK, I just realized something..

A lot of people are probably aware of the statement "Respect is earned, not demanded/given".

Now, if you are aware of the meme "Press F to *pay respect*", you probably know where this goes.

The statements "pay respect" and "respect is earned" are actually connected. Just like money, you pay money to people who deserve it. You work hard for it.

But if this is true, is "attention" also earned? I often hear "Please pay attention" from my teachers back then.

This is some big brain shit right here

MMMH DEVELOPER PRODUCTIVITY IS NOT THAT GREAT... YOU KNOW WHAT I'LL MAKE SURE THEY SPEND 90% OF THEIR TIME IN FUCKING CONFERENCE CALLS, THAT IS SURELY GOING TO HELP THEM GET THEIR JOB DONE

Some manager at my company, probably.

I use this timer app... probably more than most people (for food). It works fine and looks nice but the undismissable warning message is a real eyesore. Why not just let me dismiss the message.... why...

1)Don't overestimate your abilities. H1Z1 killer is probably too complicated project for starters.

2)Choose proper tools. Yes Notepad++ is not the best free code editor.

How to tell this person nicely, to provide meaningful commit messages?

I know it took me probably for ever to learn it myself, and not all of them are meaningful, but come on ...

It's blind, musically gifted and starts at zero?

Array Charles

[Charles,Charles,Charles]

My mom asked me to speed up her PC's startup process. I looked into it and and probably found the problem: G Data.

I told her she has to delete it, there is windows defender anyways (and virus scanners are just snake oil). She refused and said: But I bought it from the local IT shop. They said it is the best.

I said: Yeah because they cannot sell windows defender...

She still argued that she paid for it and wants to keep it.

That was were I said: then enjoy your slow startups.

She also said she feels more secure with it. 🙄

I would not even be able to work with that PC! Its not old at all, but the permanent scanning comes at a high cost and probably does not help much.

But she trusts that local it store guy more than me apparently.

After the technical round, HR to me. Do you have a girlfriend? If not why? People in your age probably have one.

We are probably reading alot of "this co-worker was so bad because blah blah blah..." from people who actualy were the real shitty co-worker and are still blaming others for his/hers mistakes.
Not a week rant that i can trust...

Oh, it's finally done and works well!
Oh, let me just optimize that a little... And probably rename this...

5 minutes later:
Shit it does not work now.
10 hours of debugging later:
I'll fix it later

To all new devs:
Commit more regularly

IBM is taking a shit in our mouths. I suppose we should have seen this coming, but almost our entire environment runs on CentOS. Not only will we have to find a new distro (which will probably be CoreOS with kube, bleh) but we'll have to get everyday trained up on it.

Pro Tip: If you spent all day debugging and shit's still not working, go get yourself an oversized, fully functional enter-key-pillow. Your code will probably still not work, but now you can at least spare your keyboard and smash that enter-key with all your built up rage

We're having build system problems and I'm probably the most experienced when it comes to build systems.

I'm not experienced with build systems.

1) Read the wiki on git. I probably have enough shorthands and test methods that you won't need much other shit to debug issues.

2) when debugging, remember that if it is there, there's a good reason why I put it there.

3) commented-out code is probably useful for maintenance. I left it there for a good reason. 😛

4) chances are whatever I wrote, was the state of the art at the time I wrote it. There might be better ways to do it now tho.

5) I always work modular. First, understand the structure. (probably also documented on wiki) DO NOT fuck up the structure. If you change it, you document it.

6) If you feel I wrote shit, it's probably because management annoyed the living shit out of me. Pun intended.

7) Your confusion is normal. I don't do dumb shit.

Quitting nicotine starting tomorrow.

Anyone have any tips or advice to expedite the withdrawal process?

I have already decided I'm going to start going for morning runs and take probably 3 hot showers a day.

My biggest fear is that I'll get insomnia and I will not be able to keep up with my school work due to fatigue

1. Focus on learning; earning should come secondary
2. If it doesn't add anything to your resume, it's probably not worth picking up
3. Do not re-invent the wheel. Explore third parties and libraries thoroughly. Use them as much as you can.
4. If you stuck at a problem for more than 2-3 hours: post on stackoverflow
5. Plan, create deadlines, and focus as if an executive chose you.
Lazy = failure!

I probably just found out that a table in our db has two columns for the same thing. And yes, the numbers are non-trivial and do not always match each other. My senior is now looking into it and it seems hilariously painful.

Today, Linux kernel 5.8 was released, here is how it runs on my new laptop.

- Realtek shit ethernet still doesn't work (no, I didn't return it, because I would have to buy at least 2 times as expensive docking station instead and it is just not worth it), but considering Realtek, it is probably not a Linux kernel issue
- Battery life while watching videos was improved pretty significantly from 6.5 hours to about 7.3 hours (1080p HEVC)
- All temperature sensors are now working correctly
- Fan is a little more silent overall, probably because of some power draw improvements
- Subjectively, the system is a little bit more responsive overall

npm: "npm does not support Node.js v10.24.0; You should probably upgrade to a newer version"

Also npm: "Supported releases are the latest release of 4, 6, 7, 8, 9"

Uh...good to know this piece of software is still a dump where rejected code goes to rot.

Android, please fuck off. I cant install/update apps because i don't have enough space. So 1gb of free memory is not enough for a 10mb app?

This is my 3rd android phone, and I've had the same issues on all of them.

Probably getting a iPhone 7. Sad, i know :(

!devrant

So today my CTO reigned, and I heard rumours that they probably will have me as the next CTO. Me personally, I'm not ready for this ... Even as a Senior Software Engineer , sometimes I have obstacles leading the my Juniors (6 of them).

Also, for the same pay, I rather maintain my current position.

I am not ready yet.

One week since I disabled my Facebook account, do I spend more time on Twitter ? Probably not… on @devRantApp ? Definitely ! 👍🏻

For the last time, SLOC is not a measure of anything.
Have too many, the code probably isn't DRY.
Have too few, you probably don't follow a style guide and have 120 char lines because you invented "oneliners" which you were so proud of that you had to put it in there.
Have just the right amount, and the code likely suffers from both of these at the same time.

An interesting python function I just made. Probably not the first to do so.

def printf(fmt, *args):
print(fmt, args, end="")

It has been months that I am not working productively. Probably almost a year. I am not sure. Especially development related work. I would only start work at the very very late last minute (mainly because of clients and deadlines) and the outcome is usually very poor. Something is definitely wrong with me.

Recruiters on linkedin...

Recruiter: You'd be a great fit for this senior position! Let's chat!
Me (knowing I'm not senior level): Sure, let's chat!
Recruiter: Wait, you only have 3 years experience. You're not really qualified.
Me: Yup. You should probably look at a profile before starting a conversation.

Has anyone heard of the new OS that Google develops. Fuchsia. It is now not based on Linux but Magenta (Developed by Google) and will probably not use Java but Dart

This is probably not a popular comment, but here are the reasons I sometimes do not like working from home.

- if I don't get food, the kid starve
- if there's a meeting, the kid decides to play piano
- I have to watch delivered food that needs refrigerated to rot, while I really want to focus on that mudafukin bug
- if misus is not sleeping during the day, there is a 50% chance I smell something burnt in the house

Feel free to add to this list

Archlinux.org went down just now for probably not only me. Guess who was in the middle of setting up his system again

People that comment random subreddits on platforms other than reddit, such as r/whoosh, are the bottom feeders of comedy and are definitely mouth breathers. Probably have a smooth brain too.

That shit's lame asf and not funny at all.

Had this life not turned out the way it is. Had you not been a dev, what would you imagine you would have been?

I'll go first.. i would probably have been a librarian or a security guard. Someone with lot of time at hand to read.

I really don't mind it as long as the work is on track but damn it hurts to read the git commit messages with messed up spellings. In some cases it's not just that, but variable names, file names, etc. as well.

English isn't the first language in my country and a lot of people are not as proficient with it so it's probably not appropriate to judge, but the cringe is real.

Sometimes I wonder if I am that cringeworthy person to someone else.

Business: "should we use this technology?"
Developers: " probably not but we will do a full investigation and give you a report on the pros cons and our professional opinion... No we should not use that technology"
Business: "oh yeah why you guys were off seeing if it would work we did the deal so now we have to use it"

Scenario A:
Your code is working. You run again, now it's not working.

Scenario B:
Works on production. Next day it doesn't.

It is nothing you just experienced alternate universe. You probably with your manager temporarily jumped into another timeline where your code is not working.

Next time it happens tell your manager it's not your fault.

Eureka!

When your plugins list in your newly "coded" WordPress site could use an infinity loader, that means you are probably​ one of those fucking two weeks fucking coding bootcamps miracles. Fuck, that's not how the website is done...

TV Show 'Loaded' premieres tonight. Four friends sell their app to a big company. Comedy tonight at 10 p.m. Eastern time. Probably not in the league of Silicon but might be worth a look.

I probably should learn how to take vacations more often, not only when I feel mentally exhausted souch that I can't really do anything

2 birds, 1 stone...

Thanks @dfox for the awesome and much anticipated stickers. Still not decided where they're going, but probably on my MacBook Pro.

Here's my humble setup, @localhost

I'm hoarding free courses on Udemy which I probably won't even watch. I even enrolled in stuff not related to dev, things like meditation and etc...

So I have this idea of a potentially amazing idea but I'm so conflicted as to whether or not it is a good idea (I know it will probably never happen) but it's really hard to put it in writing for people's opinions and input on it...

Anyone else have these moments?

Kubernetes is actually sick. I love learning about it and playing around with localized clusters. The only thing that sucks is I would never use this for anything while I'm still a CS student. And I probably won't ever use this if I'm not in Devops. *sigh*. fun to learn about, regardless.

So I'm rebuilding my personal site, creating a nice layout, etc. I only just thought about checking how it looks in ie. That horrible bastard browser just fucks up the layout, and I'm not sure why some css rules don't even seem to fucking work. Probably gonna say screw it and not support ie, but it still sucks.

Time for late night coding, debugging, thinking..been busy since I woke up, work, college, exams, work..work while waiting for an exam..

Coffee - check
Cigarettes - check
Music to keep me motivated - check
Laptop still not lagging - check
Will probably want to sleep in couple of hours - check

A couple of years ago I was working on a fairly large system with a complex (by necessity) access control architecture.

As is usually the case with those projects, it's awkward for developers to repro bugs that have to do with a user's accesses in production when we are not allowed to replicate production data in test, let alone locally.

We had a bug where I ended up making myself a new row in the production database for a thing I could have access to without affecting real data to repro it safely. I identified the bug so I could repro it in dev/test and removed the row and ensured everything worked normally, whew scary.

Have you ever walked into the office one day, and everyone is hunched over in a semicircle around one person's workstation, before one turns around to look at you and says - after a pause - "... ltlian?.."

Turns out I had basically "poisoned the well" with my dummy entity in a way where production now threw 500 for everyone BUT me who had transitive access to this post-non-entity. Due to the scope of the system, it had taken about a day for this to gradually propagate in terms of caching and eventual consistencies; new entities coming in was expected, but not that they disappear.

Luckily I had a decent track record for this to be a one-off. I sometimes think about how I would explain testing in prod and making it faceplant before going home for the day, other than "I assumed it would be fine". I would fire me.

-Come up and C me sometimes.
+Probably not. John C na. 😒😒

@dfox what if you add an advertisement category? Then advertisers might think that "oh, that'll probably make it show up nicely", though in fact it's not shown at all.

I run my first program in Java on Linux... I feel like most powerful person in the World! xD
I still have some complications but it will not be better probably :)

New coffee machines at work. Real beans! What's the equivalent of the Ballmer Peak for Caffeine? Posting this at 4.04am, lying awake in bed and not coding, I'm probably past it.. sleep not found

Can you guys list some of your favorite recipes in the comments?

Trying to find new food to cook, because I'm tired of making the same like 7 meals and that's it lol

If it doesn't have a meat, it's probably not for me, btw. But I will be open to trying things

Have you heard of "Thunder client"? Meh... That shit is cool. I came across it on my YouTube recommendations, installed and gave it a try. I'm probably not going back to postman.

If I wasn't a dev, I'd probably still be in sales somewhere.
Can't say I miss that life, customers are a pain in the ass you can't punch in the face. at-least with IT, if I smash my keyboard, it's not going to complain 😇

I think microsoft buying github will probably be the death of atom editor ... not that I would mind vscode was always way better then atom 🤷

!rant Bought a fertility hormone test and so I have to wake up early tomorrow to lancet two (or more!) fingers and bleed on some index cards (not literally index cards, probably) before mailing them to a lab. Fun times, fun times. 😅

"Our supplier asks that you double the number of php child processes for this fpm pool"

"Are you aware, that that would lead to about 100% of memory overcommit, taken the current limit of 128MB/child, and that if a lot of them started at once, the system would probably go for OOM-Kill, which would most probably kill your database, that still runs on 100% MyISAM tables that do not support transactions, and you'd have to kiss your data integrity goodbye, right?"

"Uh... Nevermind then"

I get that some people are not IT-versed, but really... Hire someone who knows what they are doing and doesn't live 20 years in the past, god damn it!

I get listening to music while you code, but I’m afraid I just can’t believe in watching a TV show while you code. You’re not coding, you’re watching a show. Or if you are coding, the level of code that’s being written is probably low enough to make it a waste of time.

YikYak will probably be used as a lesson in app development on what not to do. They killed their entire app in a single release. Biggest mistake was never listening to their users.

I want to stop for a while, leave the city and go live somewhere quiet. Grow my own food and raise some cute chickies. Then I'll probably miss coding, but definitely not the corporate hellholes I worked and still work for. This is obviously not a goal for this year but my wish for before I turn 40.

Does anyone else feel that "retirement" is an outdated concept? Our generation will probably never truly retire, not in the same sense that this word meant in 20th century.

Considering how much the government-mandated retirement age went up; most of us will prolly die from continuous stress way before the day of "retirement" comes

Saw lots of regret posts about being in dev field. Then why bother living that way?

Not like engineering, medicine or business management fields, I believe programming needs passion similar to art related careers like acting, music and painting etc. So if you don't have any passion for programming, you won't be successful or satisfy at all.

That doesn't mean it is all good and happy days for every passionate programmers. We sure have ****ed up days (probably more than other fields.) Seriously that's why we have devrants. No? But it doesn't reach to the point of regret to me.

Here our national programming language is probably PHP. The pays are lower than your part-time fast food chain workers. The internet speed is in kbs with 2 digits most of the places. Government doesn't give a crap about IT. No IP copyright laws and so on. I probably would earn more and live better if I were not running this IT business.

But hell yeah I never regret at all.

"New facebook dating service! It's absolutely free! Just sign this user agreement and durable power of attorney. We promise we won't rape you with it later. "
It's a joke now, but probably not for much longer.

Just learnt that Stack Exchange servers are using Windows servers with IIS. Codebase written in C# (probably ASP .NET). Not sure how I feel about this.

Things you should probably not say in an interview += "I like Rust because I get to write a lot of code before performance starts to become a problem and I have to optimize"

*not a rant*

For the fans: Mr. Robot s02e04 came out today! Have fun watching.

For who doesn't know Mr. Robot; it's an amazing show and you should probably watch it.

If your problem has not yet been answered on StackOverflow, your probably doing something horribly wrong.
Consider a new approach.

I’m really liking the Algorithm Design Manual so far, except for the fact that there’s not a glossary somewhere for “random mathematical symbols you have probably never had to deal with but we will use in psuedocode examples”

Im putting together a new stack (i do it every 8-10 months). Queue the dramatic music, its not java this time. So far i got Python Flask and maybe React but im not sure yet. Question is, what db should i use? Ill probably go for a json one, thinking about rethinkdb for now, but if anyone has a better idea, please share.

If you suddenly get a connection request on LinkedIn from someone you work with, and their profile finally got updated to their current job, they probably will not be at your company very long.

I code. I'm not a network or security admin. Did you even read my resume before hiring me? It says "math degree then data analysis then programming degree" Subnets, firewalls and security certs are not my areas of expertise. Given enough time, could I stumble through? Probably. But I'd probably come up with something worthy of mocking on networkadminrant.

We're having a training session on how to speak with clients because we're getting feedback that we seen annoyed in our emails.

Probably my fault, not that I mean for that to bleed through into my replies

If we were talking - and then all of the sudden, I don’t talk to you anymore... it’s probably because you ignored my advice and chose to go to an especially bad boot camp. Now - that’s fine! But the reason I’m not talking to you is because I just don’t know how to say anything positive about your terrible decision and the terrible school... so - I’m just not saying anything at all.

I'm not a dev, but the laziest thing I do is probably not programming at all or just copying stuff without much thinking... just not really trying

So, there was an Internship and Recruitment training seminar held in my college yesterday, by a firm that's very well known apparently. Some wonderful new things that we learned:

*There are 4 types of loops, not 2. (Okay, maybe on a technicality, but still not conventionally)

*You aren't asked to write code when interviewing for a programming job. (Well, what?)

*A rolling stone has no mass. (Probably the worst mutated proverb I've ever heard)

I'm not going to sign up for this program.

*use windows, ms office, vsc, skype probably code in ts, ... *
*rant about microsoft buying github*
I'm not a microsoft fan either, but thats the sad truth.

Folks,

What static site generator do you prefer, and why?

I want to set up a website for a small business and do not want to spend a lot of time on it but it also should be blazing fast.

My familiarity with react leads me to Gatsby, but there are probably good alternatives.

It should also be easy for the (non-tech) admin then to create posts on a news page or even new pages (probably with Markdown).

Thank you in advance!

I'd probably get laughed at for even mentioning "php"..

But what is the best framwork for getting started with PHP to build some complex site?

I have seen some here talking good about either codeignitor or laravel. Not sure.

If you're looking to buy IoT stuff, you should try Xiaomi. Not only their stuff works, even when you block Xiaomi servers, but it can still be controlled remotely from an independent server. Although they are probably not happy about that lol. (i realize how much this sounds like an ad, but I'm too excited that it actually works :D)

I can't be arsed with jobs that mention tensorflow alone as their main tech.

If your company is willing to use tf and not keras, then y'all probably didn't understand what you're dealing with to begin with.

*Red flags and sirens in distance for bad designs*

You know how we mock recruiters for not knowing anything...
I wonder if they have an app where they mock developers ... Probably not they'd need one of us to build it.

Ever tried explaining GitHub to someone? I swear it's like trying to teach a dog to ride a bike. You can try, but it's probably not going to end well.
Okay, rant over. Back to coding... and dealing with merge conflicts... and pull requests... and GitHub issues... sigh.

Hi devRanters, hi you all.

I really appreciate all of you that are patiently reading, humorously or not so humorously commenting and wise or not wise giving advice to my semi-serious rants.

It's a great stress relief for me in this moment to know somebody it's out there listening to my stupid problems.

And probably will also improve the life of people around me.

I'll probably start my startup in Italy next January.
It won't even be related to technology, but I hope it will do well.
It will be a second-job, so not much time, but I'm gonna push into it all I have to make it works as well as possible

Stack Overflow people have profound buffallo bullcrap on their skulls, they are some software engineers who have fucked COBOL and BASIC, probably somewhere like NASA, just pondering out where someone post a question. They're probably some etilist cult banging a prostitute while delivering that awful downvote imitating the slap they give the chick during sex. They desire questions such as

"RANDOM_fuck_module_Abdul.method() not working in python" or "how to dock the dock by undocking" (tagged: AWS). Not things like "why does the audio tag not work in a PC but works in w3school tester?" or a genuine programming question. Fuck.

We don't tail recurse or loop abc for k in godfuck loops, huh? We make simple things as: a form, a http request to dell.

I hope there penises get rotten in the hell. Period.
this is just a part of SO.

I don't know exactly what year my dad bought the PC with a hard drive of 4GB, but it was not in the year 2000 and following. I'm not sure if it was running win98 or win95. Probably win95. Aaah those were golden times.
I remember having no internet, but still having fun drawing images on ms paint.
Oh and there was a game named sesame street for that os. Sometimes I miss those times.

bug comment in the tracker, from the new junior dev, during her first week:
"probably fixed by [other dev]".
Among the unhelpful comments, this was a special gem. really special. a What the Fuck did you mean by that special. Was it fixed or not? who fixed it? [other dev]? someone else?
it was better not to have any comment at all.
later that junior became a really good dev...

How to impress the extent of your power over your employees and partners:

1. Make the tech team spend inordinate amounts of effort to investigate someone stealing an almost worthless piece of junk, to make an example for the rest of the workforce.

2. Complain in "secret" meetings that the tech team is not up to the task of delivering the project.

3. Announce that the project will probably, but not certainly, be shut down.

I don't know how people dont get annoyed with ads on their fucking phones home screen from some weird apps they probably felt needed to install because the next sheep (online or not) told them so.

God damn it, if you (libGDX) have default values for public methods then make those constants public. Now I am writing wrapper and I either create my constant with same value as your private one, or do some reflection black magic which will probably break after obfuscation. *sigh* Going with my copy of the constant, not happy about that...

I really hope to not be into desperate needing of the squishy ball.
Because even if I buy it, i will probably kill somebody in the expedition time.

Please 2018 be a lowstress-year
Please

Not caring about code styling and just committing because whiny people annoy me. It works; it works. I should probably abid by code styling standards and do a precommit but bite me 🖕🖕🖕

"If you think you're the smartest person in the room, you're probably not*."

*You probably are a fucking idiot though.

Since when is it possible for other (administrator?) users to edit my questions on StackOverflow? I just got alerted that someone removed a sentence from a post I made there. It's not terrible. I probably should have excluded that sentence myself. But that seems really heavy-handed.

Prettier formatter, AirBnB linter.

Prettier defaults to double quotes for strings. AirBnB loves it some single quotes. Would probably be able to change the configuration in order to maintain sanity *now*, but when I was a newbie dev, I was given a repo with AirBnB linting built in after being recommended Prettier.

It was not fun times.

Where art thou semi-colon? Probably not where it fucking should be if I had to bet.

Just found out that Ruby does not have any formal langauge specification. Instead, they just use the ruby-spec test suite. If your compiler can pass those, then it's probably a ruby compiler.

This is a pure duck typing at a compiler level. LMFAO.

After merging 2 branches, Git randomly decided not to merge one particular line (the place where my newly defined function was called) and that caused a fixed bug to reappear. First time in 4 years I am witnessing Git do something strange like this— probably an issue in the “merge by ort strategy”.

Been at the same company for 2 years, this has been the worst day, hands down. Probably going to be fired soon, or end up quitting. Yaay more time for personal projects, yaay not having money.

POP mail, I just prefer it over IMAP, but I am probably the only one, and my reasons are questionable. But I care not.

What would you use for building the baclend of a moderately complex web application that probably will have a small userbase?
Ruby on Rails
Django
ASP.NET Core
Spring/Springboot
Node.js
Deno

If what you would like to use something else that is not listed feel free to tell about it in the comments

How do you guys prevent burnout when working on a side-project? I'm probably not the only one here, with multiple unfinished projects.

MS Teams is not my favourite app right now. To be honest, it has never been, and will most probably never be.

Internships just kinda suck.
Like sure I'm probably not as good as the other Devs but knowing I'm getting over 5x less pay than anyone else in the room hurts.
Salaried and it works out at less than minimum wage if you convert it to hourly. Honestly what the fuck.
The experience im getting has been good but having to continue being on a student loan while working 38.5 hours a week is outrageous. Living in an already expensive city and I'm probably spending 10% of my pay on lunch in the office's canteen.

Trying to run our Angular application today, got this error message: "Node Sass does not yet support your vurrent environment: OS X-64bit with Unsupported runtime (64)"
JavaScript frameworks cause problems on different hardware architectures and platforms. That probably was not easy to break...

Do some of you make a passive income from something dev related?
What are your experiences?

I’m thinking about starting a dev blog with focus on financial software, but it would be nice to do something that brings in some extra bugs. There are so many blogs, mine would probably not even be seen by anyone..

I wish I could give an interesting story, but because I'm not in the workplace yet, I don't have stories yet (I probably will one day!!)

I'm a CS student. I'm a little bit sad because I no longer have time for the personal projects I used to have time for in highschool.

“To deal with hyper-planes in a 14-dimensional space, visualize a 3-D space and say “fourteen” to yourself very loudly. Everyone does it.”
- Hinton.

P. S. Can't vouch for the quote's veracity, but it is too good to not share. Probably the best thing I have seen on the internet today.

It's not enough to be clean, perfomant and maintainable, it needs to be beautiful. if it looks bad it's probably bad.

Why all these SW engineer interviews include 2 days of questions about sophisticated algorithms which i have never (and probably will never) have chance to even reuse, because they are NOT simple & understandable for any project community? IMO It is like asking to show Assembler skills on frontend-dev interview...

Used to work tech support at a school.
The sheer amount of people that would come from buildings away to ask for help with the mouse or keyboard not working was weird. The annoying part, most have probably guessed, was that it was always just unplugged. Teacher's did this too.

Caught myself rationalizing a $50 in game gold purchase... That I'll probably banned from eventually the moment I can cheat again...

Must remember I'm playing bc I'm bored... Not because I wanna win...

Seriously fuck Microsoft. I'm not one of those entitled brats but Microsoft can't do anything right. Not even a fucking web page. Seriously what the fucking fuck is this shit? I'm trying to download this fucking driver and every where I look links me to this fucking page. This is just beyond lazy

I'm desperately looking through the console hoping to find this (probably) shitty drivers download link. So damn annoying

Having other people pitch you to hiring managers, raise the hype, and profess faith in your abilities is kind of nerve-wracking. But I found a tutorial to teach me how to write a compiler and it’s not in a language I know, so that’s fun and distracting. Been up since 4am. Is now 12:30am. Should probably sleep.

Probably a cook or a chef, I like the kitchen and cooking in general.

Maybe owning a small barbacue joint somewhere not so remote, like a route stop near some touristic place.

the more i think about the effort i've poured into various projects and products over the years, for clients or my own, and how little its payed overall... its quite depressing (people probably understimate, but i'm talking years upon years, not all at at time, but month spurts where i'd be done for the day at 7 PM or later) 12 hour days are easy to hit quickly when you are cranking out software

if you need an application requirement i've probably built it before, probably most of them twice

everyone tells me "it will pay off in the long run!" or "its great you have so much experience and built those different things!"

great to say, but i'm not getting payed for it / see no benefit from it

not fun to think about

and every place i go i know its gonna be filled with the workaday dev bros who are just there for the paycheck, have no passion, and who don't even know what TypeScript is (true story about that TypeScript one, i shit you not, occured only last year, and the guy is a frontend dev)

😩😩😩

where do i belong devrant?

Today I've seen 2 bsod on 2 different ticket machines at my local train station.

I'm late as hell, probably not arriving in time for the exam, but at least I laughed.

So a friend got on MATFYZ (best and probably hardest Uni in our country - Math& Physics) and told me some first impressions today and well, fuck me.. or us..

One dude said he hadn't had much of a time for preparations on getting onto the Uni because he was busy writing learning book about nano stuff and not only for students, but for fucking TEACHERS! He was at the same age as I am now when he wrote this. There were more stories but this one's insane.

Meanwhile I'm here programming fizzbuzz not even studying IT related school (don't ask, bad decisions, or maybe good, probably good, but still) and not knowing shit really.

Is it just me orrr ?

I haven't. Yet.

I started taking programming seriously when I got to 9th grade. 3 years isn't enough time. Probably enough to be able to put out okay-ish code in a scripting language, but not good code.

Got a mac to use for work, and to be honest, I never thought that I would say this... I kind of like it.. The gripe I have with mac's is that it's not user upgradable having the ssd and ram soldered on. If this weren't the case I would probably buy one myself

damn

even hacktoberfest is going woke this year

no more t-shirts

some stupid digital pin probably that can forever spew out CO2 somewhere on some server farm in iceland or something

to be clear, i'm not a climate change denyer. but it stupid shit like this as to why we can't have nice things. all the incentives are backwards. change my mind

would have been the 5th shirt too... 😉

i'll probably print myself one anyway

In coding, projects and life in general, how can i know when should i say

"hey this isnt working, i should probably go and do something else"

and when should i say

"damn its getting difficult but i must not quit, i have to remain focused and consistent even when I don't want to"

?

Unsure of what path to take as a developer.
I'll be graduating from uni next year and I'll probably go into web dev but I'm not really passionate about it building websites for a living.

Feeling useless over something probably ridiculously simple and straightforward.

Test written: check
Route defined: check
View created: check
Controller method defined: check

Testing... Error: Controller method not found

Save me stackoverflow!!

It's probably not good that I just slept through my (fairly loud) alarm for 45 mins but oh well

there are probably a lot of console enthusiasts here, but i discovered that i can actually access my raspberry pi with RDP via xrdp. While limited in actual use it makes some stuff a lot easier for me and i did not knew this before yesterday.

I am actually astonished that microsoft has a native tool that can in any sense communicate with non-windows stuff. how unusual. Although the work is probably not on kleinweichs side.

I hate developers that don’t apply logic to non programming concepts. Like when someone declares what they don’t want instead of what they want. For my sake just say what you want to see.

I’m thinking of an animal. Guess what it it is not. Congrats you probably won.

I’m thinking of an animal. Guess what it is. Sorry you probably got it wrong.

Anyone who's been part of the community has probably noticed a little OS mud slinging. It's natural, as everyone cheers on their "team".

I just realized that no one is ranting/name calling/general mockery of the BSD crowd! They just get away without a scratch. Not fair 🚫

First Rant...
Why the fuck do I get on a C++ interview the question if I now Javascript......everytime.... NO I DON'T WANT TO KNOW JAVASCRIPT!!!

Real coders code in C/C++ and not hipster javascript. Am I alone???(probably)

We had our first "real" sprint planning yesterday. This was a very superficial planning session, as my manager is, by the looks of it, not to keen on the whole "new process thing". Probably because it's not his way of doing things... or simply more simply put - this way round means he'll need find some new ways to crawl up the CTOs ass!

So glad I'm leaving!

I’m a homebody anyway and never want to leave the house. Now I have a valid excuse for not leaving the house. Feeding toxic and unhealthy behaviors? Yes. Is right now the time to care? Probably not. Queue bingeing 12 hours a day of Udemy courses.

Oh boy... "Swordfish" is probably one of the best comedies I've ever seen... How did I not see this movie before 😂

I already got tired of “AI”. The hype train has been so ridiculous. It’s been months since at least 50% of the orange website is not about AI. Every other tool/company that I use is adding new gimmicky “AI” features.

It’s probably just me but I’m exhausted of AI…

So.

a few good old firends of mine wish to learn some coding to make a simple game. Probably for lolz, I do not think that they´re up to anything _too_ serious. Guess who they contacted for mentoring...

They´re up for boot camp, I say.

I started sending my resume everywhere so whoever accepts my person first and makes final offer the better or worse ( didn’t decided yet ) for them.
Probably better... I hope lol.
Let the fate decide... it never worked so I hope to not be disappointed also this time and got fucked up et the end.

I'm probably going to have to say IE. Microsoft pretended like they fixed everything, then removed conditional comments to "prove" it, except now you have to have five times as much code and eighteen different file formats just to get a stinking video embedded in a web page.

Welcome, Edge. Not a moment too soon.