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A guy and a girl are in a Java seminar.
Afterward, the guy approaches the girl and asks, "Hey gurrl, can I get your number?"
Girl says "Sorry, I don't give out my number, it's private."
Guy says, "Oh I'm sorry, I thought we were in the same class!"15 -
This shit is real.
Guy comes to my desk.
Guy: Do you know Python?
Me: Yes
Guy: I want a program that reads a CSV containing IP addresses and tells which of them are valid.
Me: Sure thing. Show me the CSV file.
Guy: (Shows the file)
Me: (Writes a small function for checking whether the IP is valid)
Me: Done Here you go.
Guy: You should be using regex.
Me: Why? This is perfect. No need for regex.
Guy: My manager wants a solution using regex only.
Me: Why so?
Guy: I don't know. Can you do it using regex?
Me: Only if you say so. (Stackoverflow. Writes a humongous regex). Done!
Me: Just for curiosity, what is your application?
Guy: I will port it in Java. You see, regex is easy to debug.
Me: Ohhh Yes. I forgot that. Good luck with your regex.22 -
*In a team meeting*
Me: *happily jotting down notes in markdown*
Other guy: "Dude what are you doing? Pay attention."
Me: "Umm... I'm taking notes?"
Other guy: "But why does your MS Word have black background?"
Me (a bit lost): "Umm... That's not Word. That's my text editor."
Other guy: "Alright... But how do you convert your notes into Word then?"
Me: "... I don't."
Other guy: *stares at me*
Me: * stare back*
It was a nice conversation.16 -
CEO: "What if we invest in our devs (i.e. trainings, certifications) and they leave?"
CTO: "What if we don't and they stay?"10 -
Random Guy: So you wrote all this in Java?
Me: JavaScript
Random Guy: Yea. What i said. It's the same!
Me: *triggered*11 -
I've tried to joke about it, but you won't pick up the hint. I've told you about the smell, but you think it is a joke. It's not. It. Is. Not. A. Joke.
STOP MICROWAVING FISH IN THE OFFICE YOU FUCKING SOCIOPATH!11 -
Amazon support guy: Oh its a Windows instance. I'm a Linux Engineer so...
Me: I know your pain. I'm in pain, too. Now help me.9 -
Guy: I don't understand how people could actually learn or work as programmers.. It's so boring.
Me: have you ever programmed before?
Guy: yes
Me: what language?
Guy: matlab
I punched him in the face and kicked him in the balls. Actually just I thought about it. Maybe 3 hours later.17 -
Guy: you said you were a software developer right?
Me: Yes
Guy: Do you know how to reset my phone?
Me: You do know a reset will wipe out all contacts.
Guy: Yes
Me: What phone do you have?
Guy: iphone
Me: (looks it up on google and shows him it)
Guy: is that a special app?
Me: its google
Guy: oh
I swear this was tuesday night and i was the one out of us that was drinking11 -
Non-dev friend : hey I've got a cool idea, we'll create a site where people can post jobs and people can bid for it. We'll name it freelance.com. We gon be rich!!!!..
Me: okay....
Friend: so you in?
Me: No.
Friend: It's really easy, just build it like you built that website you did the other day (talking a landing page he saw me do in a week). In 2 weeks, we'll be millionaires. You'll do all the programming stuff, so you get 30% of the money, I'm the idea guy so I get the other 70%. About that, you in now?
Me: have you heard of odesk, freelancer, jobberman.
Friend: no... Does a freelance site exist.
Me: boy, it's 2016.
Friend: I just thought of it few minutes ago and my other friends thought it was a great idea.
Me: 🙈🙈🙈🙈😶🔫🔫🔫14 -
New guy at work doesn't have admin rights and the company wont install anything until Monday... He is going through the code in notepad to learn our system.11
-
Does anyone else have that one guy or gal you work with that's ALWAYS the one to find the weirdest, inexplicable bugs possible? Yup. That's me. Here's some fun examples.
*Unplugs monitor from laptop, causing kernel panic*
*Mouse moves in reverse when inside canvas*
*Program fails to compile, yet compiler blames a syntax error that doesn't exist*
*malloc on the first line of a program causes a segfault*
And for how the conversation usually goes
Me: "[coworker], mind taking a look at this?"
Coworker: "Sure.This better not be another one of 'your bugs'. ... ... ... Well, if you need me I'll be at my desk."
Me: "So you know what's causing it?"
Coworker: "Nope. I've accepted that you're cursed and you should do the same."9 -
This actually happend in my secondary school class. A new guy came to our class. The whole family moved from another city.
*new guy want to start conversation with me*
new guy: "So you into computers and stuff like that?"
me: "Yes" *seems like a cool guy , want to develop the conversation further* "what about you man? do you like computers? do yo program or smth?"
*new guy wants to look cool in front of me*
new guy: " Yeah dude, actually I am hacker"
*me saying to myself, oh fuck not again this shit*
he continues with: " Once I got into the NASA system"
*switches mode to making fun of him*
me: "what the fuck man? really? that´s freaking cool, how you manage to do that? "
new guy: " you know the thing when you press F10 when starting a comupter? "
me: "You mean BIOS?"
new guy : "yeah yeah man through that shit"
* I am done, laughing my ass off and walks away*1 -
API Guy.
He has a serious regex problem.
Regexes are never easy to read, but the ones he uses just take the cake. They're either blatantly wrong, or totally over-engineered garbage that somehow still lacks basic functionality. I think "garbage" here is a little too nice, since you can tell what garbage actually is/was without studying it for five minutes.
In lieu of an actual rant (mostly because I'm overworked), I'll just leave a few samples here. I recommend readying some bleach before you continue reading.
Not a valid url name regex:
VALID_URL_NAME_REGEX = /\A[\w\-]+\Z/
Semi-decent email regex: (by far the best of the four)
VALID_EMAIL_REGEX = /\A[\w+\-.]+@[a-z\d\-.]+\.[a-z]+\z/i
Over-engineered mess that only works for (most) US numbers:
VALID_PHONE_REGEX = /1?\s*\W?\s*([2-9][0-8][0-9])\s*\W?\s*([2-9][0-9]{2})\s*\W?\s*([0-9]{4})(\se?x?t?(\d*))?/
and for the grand finale:
ZIP_CODE_REGEX = /(^\d{5}(-\d{4})?$)|(^[ABCEGHJKLMNPRSTVXY]{1}\d{1}[A-Z]{1} *\d{1}[A-Z]{1}\d{1}$)|GIR[ ]?0AA|((AB|AL|B|BA|BB|BD|BH|BL|BN|BR|BS|BT|CA|CB|CF|CH|CM|CO|CR|CT|CV|CW|DA|DD|DE|DG|DH|DL|DN|DT|DY|E|EC|EH|EN|EX|FK|FY|G|GL|GY|GU|HA|HD|HG|HP|HR|HS|HU|HX|IG|IM|IP|IV|JE|KA|KT|KW|KY|L|LA|LD|LE|LL|LN|LS|LU|M|ME|MK|ML|N|NE|NG|NN|NP|NR|NW|OL|OX|PA|PE|PH|PL|PO|PR|RG|RH|RM|S|SA|SE|SG|SK|SL|SM|SN|SO|SP|SR|SS|ST|SW|SY|TA|TD|TF|TN|TQ|TR|TS|TW|UB|W|WA|WC|WD|WF|WN|WR|WS|WV|YO|ZE)(\d[\dA-Z]?[ ]?\d[ABD-HJLN-UW-Z]{2}))|BFPO[ ]?\d{1,4}/
^ which, by the way, doesn't match e.g. Australian zip codes. That cost us quite a few sales. And yes, that is 512 characters long.47 -
Discussion between me and my N+1
(Note : I'm in the company for 3 months)
Me : As the tech leader, shouldn't you review my code ?
N+1 : I'm not the tech leader.
Me : Wait what ?
N+1 : I wrote the app from A to Z, hence I'm the architect.
Me : That's what I mean. Being the most knowledgable dev in the company makes you de facto tech leader.
N+1 : No, I'm not the tech leader. The CEO is.
Me : But he didn't even know the tech we are using !
N+1 : .... Anyway, I won't do code reviews. I don't like that.
(2 hours later)
N+1 : You made a mistake in the code. You broke a hidden functionality. You should be more careful, or ask me if you have doubts.
This guy is collector.3 -
!rant
!!git
Who here uses `master` for development?
My boss (api guy) tried to convince me that was normal practice. I gently told him that it sounded crazy and very very bad.
Here's the dev path I'm enforcing on my repos:
(feature branches) -> dev -> qa* -> master -> production*
*: the build server auto-pulls from these branches, and pushes any passing builds to staging/production.
Everyone works on their own feature branches, and when they're happy with their work, they merge it into `dev`. `dev`, therefore, is for feature integration testing. After everything is working well on `dev`, it gets merged into `qa` for the testers to fawn over and beat with sticks. Anything that passes QA gets merged into `master`, where it sits until we're ready to release it. When that time comes (it's usually right away, but not always), `master` gets merged into `production`.
This way, `master` is always stable and contains the newest code, so it's perfect for forking/etc. Is this standard practice, or should I be doing something different?
Also, api guy encourages something he calls "running a racetrack" -- each dev has their own branch (their initials) and they push to that throughout the day. everyone else pulls from it regularly and pushes to their own branch. When anyone's happy with their code, they push from their (updated) branch to `qa` (I insisted on `dev` instead.)
Supposedly this drastically reduces the number of merge conflicts when pushing to an upstream branch due to having a more recent ancestor node?
I don't quite follow that, but it seems to me that merging/pushing throughout the day would just make them happen sooner? idk.
What are your thoughts?30 -
Guy: I don't trust password managers
Me: so how do you remember passwords?
Guy: oh, I just keep them in a note in the iPhone notes app/iCloud.9 -
Once upon a time there was a dev.
The dev had a resume that said he could dev.
We called the dev, he sounded intelligent.
We hired the dev, who was a bit green, on a three month probationary period.
The dev did very little.
When asked, we said he contributed to discussions, but seemed unclear about what to do, and maybe they could keep him as an intern if they wanted to have him at all.
They hired him. As a full time dev.
6 months later, that dev was shocked to find we could log into the servers with a privileged account.
We (his team mates) were sad.
We asked him to fix a few prod errors.
A little while later he said "Done!"
We then had to walk him through how to actually fix them, not just add a couple pieces of info to the table.
We were sad, again.
We asked him to fix some prod errors again.
We had to walk him through the process again
We expressed concerns to our superiors about his abilities because he was all theory, no hands on ability
They promoted him
We were sad
A few of us said "Fuck you guys, I'm going home"
They said OK
Now that guy is the only one that "knows" that code base
I get calls sometimes asking me questions.
I told them to pay me a consultant fee.
They said no
I said no
They called again
I laughed at them
Listen to the people who know when you ask them questions.
Listen to the people who know when they tell you there is a problem
Don't be like that company6 -
Seen on a lottery commercial:
Guy 1: That can't be right check it again.
Guy 2: Computers can't be wrong, they're programmed that way!2 -
A guy is sitting at a bar when the guy next to him lights up a cigarette. Horrified, the guy turns to him and says "hey! Don't you know the surgeon general warns that cigarettes can cause cancer!?" The guy next to him replies "I'm a software developer, I don't care about warnings. Only errors"2
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!rant, a success story.
I made a tool for a live streamer I like, for free. Something to find highlights in a VOD based on the chatlog.
It took me around 15h to make. It is a very simple electron app, the "valuable" code is ~70 lines.
I wasn't sure he would even bother to try it.
Anyways, I send it to him. 10 minutes later, the guy tells me that "this is amazing! You just saved me hours of derushing my streams ❤️"
That's great already, but it does not end there. A few minutes later he asks me "I know other streamers that would love it, can I share? And can I add you in our private discord?"
I have now a direct access to some of the best youtubers/streamers in my country 🤩.4 -
A few years back we hired a new guy for our sales department. He worked with us for less than a week and seemed pretty normal.
Until one day he came into my office sat reeeeally close to me and actually whispered into my ear: "last night around midnight i was a bit hungry so i got up and fried some sausages".
Then he looked at me with the weirdest grin ever and just sat there for like 15 seconds not moving a muscle.
😳9 -
Recently found so many 299++ and I gave them all the last one for the stress ball. Enjoy it fellas3
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*girl in office call IT guy*
Girl: my computer isn't working
Guy: what happened?
Girl: screen is blank.. nothing on it
Guy: ok... I'll replace the monitor (starts unplugging)
Girl: wait.. wait.... I didn't took backup yet..
Guy: *face plam*6 -
Just happened at my internship:
Guy: hey could you come over here for a sec and look at this problem?
me: Sure! *walks to table*
guy: the FTP server isn't working. I added config files etc but nothing!!
me: *does some terminal stuff*
me: uhm.... the ftp server isn't installed......
guy: *poker face*
guy: *poker face*
guy: *poker face*
guy: *plz don't tell anyone face*
guy: could you pls install? *desperate look*2 -
:-)
I think that "family guy" is telling me That is time to close netflix and read something......
5 -
Guy: We should build a Blockchain based review website.
Me: Why does it have to use a Blockchain?
Guy: That way we can verify that only real people are leaving reviews and not bots.
Me: That's not really how Blockchains work.
Guy: Blockchain!5 -
It's kind of neat knowing people who are famous for things I don't care about, and having their numbers / talking semi-regularly. They're a special person to so many others, but to me they're just some random person that's mildly annoying.
Like API Guy.
Freaking API Guy.
He's a millionaire musician who's adored by literally millions of people, but none of them know he writes absolutely terrible APIs, zero tests, rushes to the shiniest new things, and happily agrees to everything (often without listening) only to deny it later. Absolutely infuriating.
Or knowing one of Netscape founders as that strange and really terrible trumpet player with the great tequila. He did give me his copy of The C Programming Language (the bible) though. He was cool. Super weird, but cool.
It's just a strange feeling. I don't care, and yet others inexplicably think I should. I don't understand it. They're just people? idk.14 -
!!office drama
I haven't been around much in recent weeks. Due to family illness, christmas shopping, dealing with estranged parents, and brooding over the foregoing, I haven't had a lot of time or energy left to myself.
tl;dr: The CTO ("API Guy") is ostensibly getting fired, and I might be taking over his job. I don't know if I should accept, try to stave this off, or simply flee.
------
Anyone who has been following my recent rants knows that API Guy is my boss, and he often writes terrible code. It's solid and unbreakable, but reading it is a *nightmare.* One of our applications is half the length of Leo Tolstoy's War and Peace, and it's difficult to tell what code is live and what amounts to ancient, still-active landmines. This is one application; we have several, most of which I've never even looked at.
Ostensibly the code is so terrible because the company grew extremely quickly, and API Guy needed to cram in lots of unexpected / planned-against features. From what I can see, that seems about right, but I haven't checked timeframes [because that's a lot of work!].
Here's a brief rundown of the situation.
- API Guy co-founded the company with the CEO.
- CEO and API Guy have been friends for a long time.
- CEO belives the company will fail with API Guy as head of tech.
- They could just be testing me; I have zero way of knowing. API Guy seems totally oblivious, and CEO seems sincere, so this feels pretty doubtful.
- CEO likes pushing people around. CEO believes he can push me around. API Guy doesn't budge. (I probably won't, either, except to change task priorities.)
- API Guy's code is huge and awful, but functional.
- API Guy is trying to clean up the mess; CEO doesn't understand (maybe doesn't care).
- Literally nobody else knows how the code works.
- Apart from API Guy and myself, the entire company is extroverted sales people.
- None of these sales people particularly like me.
- Sales people sell and sell and sell without asking development if they can pull enough magic features out of their hat to meet the arbitrary saleslines. (because the answer is usually no)
- If I accept, I would be the sole developer (at first) and responsible for someone else's mountain of nightmarish code, and still responsible for layering on new features at the same pace as he. Pay raise likely, but not guaranteed.
- My getting the position is contingent upon the CEO and the investors, meaning it's by no means guaranteed.
- If I don't accept, likely API Guy will be replaced with someone else of unknown ability, who doesn't know the code, and whom I must answer to regardless. Potentially OK, potentially a monumental disaster.
Honestly, it feels like I'm going to be screwed no matter what course I choose.
Perhaps accepting is slightly better?
The best would be to assume the position of CTO and keep API Guy around -- but that would feel like an insult to him. I doubt he'd be okay with it. But maybe. Who knows? I doubt the CEO would seriously consider that anyway.
I feel like a lamb between a dim, angry rhino, and an oblivious one.23 -
Hi I am new here!
My friend told me that devRant has a great community, he told me to post here and see what happens...14 -
A friend called ITIS guys about some network issue on his system.
Frnd : Hi, I'm facing some security policy issues on my system. Could you help me connect?
ITIS guy: Ok. Please run 'gpupdate /force' cmd from cmdpromt.
Frnd: Well actually I'm on Linux.
ITIS guy: Well, at least give it a try and tell me how it goes.
*Facepalm*? *Bodypalm*? Murder?4 -
Last Friday company-wide call consisted of the sales CEO bossman, the remote contractor dev, and myself. The only topic of discussion was CTO-bashing (bossman's favorite). Neither person had much of anything to say about their week, and they didn't want to hear my rather-lengthy summary either (I did a lot). All they wanted to do was bash the CTO (API Guy).
The CEO asked how many hours I had worked, and seemed annoyed when I said less than 40. Well screw you. Monday was Christmas, and Sunday was Encroaching Estranged Asshole Day. (Earlier rant)
I've been spending most of my time trying to learn the steaming mountain of rancid hippo shit that API Guy squeezed out, since he's leaving forever in 10 days. Sure, CEO bossman says he'll still be around to answer questions, but even with him right next to me in the office he's less than useful. After he's gone and finally feeling free of this farce? It'll be worth fuck-all.
So bossman is mad at me for both not working enough over Christmas, and not pumping out features at a frantic pace despite multiple explanations of why this is a bad idea. And he didn't care about what work I actually did do.
My every interaction with him makes me angry. Whenever I -- or anyone else -- does something he doesn't approve of, seemingly no matter the reasoning, he makes it out to be a failure on their part, and like he can't trust them as much now.
Well I'm sorry we're trying to make sure our websocket works perfectly before putting it in the hands of our customers who rely on it for cash processing.
I'm sorry I'm trying to recall printers that aren't configured properly, which also prevent customers from using our goddamn service they're paying for.
I'm sorry I'm trying to learn how everything works while I still have someone to talk to and ask questions of.
I'm sorry I'm preparing for the day I have to take over and have you breathing down my neck. Once API Guy's gone I'll be responsible for everything, and you'll be yelling at me and having a @Root bashing session instead if I don't know how to fix everything right away.
But no. All you care about is that I talk to you about what's going in so you can micromanage development despite having zero fucking understanding of goddamn anything. All you ever fucking want is the next shiny feature you can push to make more sales / keep your current contacts happy. Doesn't fking matter if it makes development awful later; that's tomorrow's problem. And yet you have the gall to bash API Guy over and over and over again for the codebase being a mess? Sure he's a terrible programmer, but been putting up with this exact same shit for five years. No wonder it's a mountain of rancid hippo shit. That's as much your fault as his, asshole.
I'm so sorry you "have serious concerns" about me. I don't want to put up with your shit either.
Fuck off and die.22 -
!drunk (yet)
It's whiskey and code tonight!
(Whiskey because I couldn't get to my rum. annoyed face.)
Why? Because rum is so much better. duh.
More seriously: My boss has thrown me every single one his current tasks and is refusing to answer simple questions about them, such as "oh, so you already know about this bug; what's the cause?" or "how do i test this once i've fixed it?" or "where the fuck are you?"
and I'm also getting lots of bugs from other people. They're all basically categorized "urgent, please fix immediately" but should instead be categorized "super-boring and not-at-all-important, and should get fixed on the off chance you happen to remember it next year". That's the best category of bug.
I just gave up on fixing a Rails pluralize bug which fits into the aforementioned category quite nicely. It's returning "2x round of golves" -- which is hilarious and I might leave it in just for the amusement. But now it's back to fighting with ActionCable! Everything has been getting in the way of me finishing that. I'm about to start biting.
Speaking of ActionCable, it turns out my code wasn't wrong after all (have I said that yet?). Since the official documentation and examples suck, I've been digging through the (generated) javascript source and working my way backwards to learn how to use it. I cleaned up my code a little, but it was still correct. The reason nothing is working correctly is that API Guy gave me broken code. ...Again! Go figure. So I'll be rewriting that today. or tomorrow. (Whiskey, remember?)
I also have some lovely netcode to debug and fix. So totally not looking forward to that. The responses are less bloody reliable than my boss's code ffs. *grumble grumble*6 -
The "new guy" just merged master into a release branch.
The build server started bumping versions on the release branch and build "corrupted" installers.
Another developer had to spend a whole day trying to remove all the invalid commits.14 -
Some how somebody managed to fill our repo with the following branches:
Origin/master
Origin/origin/master
Origin/origin/origin/master
Origin/origin/origin/origin/master10 -
I spent an hour arguing with the CTO, pushing for having all our new products' data in the database (wow) with an API I could hit to fetch said data (wow) prior to displaying it on our order page.
He never actually agreed with me, but he finally acquiesced and wrote the migrations, API, and entered my (rather contrived) placeholder data. (I've been waiting on the boss for details and copy for three days.)
Anyway, it's now live on QA. but. I don't know where QA is for this app, and it's been long enough that i'm kind of afraid to ask.
Does that sound strange?
well.
We have seven (nine?) live applications (three of which share a database), and none of their repos match their URLs, nor even their Heroku app names. (In some of these Heroku names, "db" is short for the app's namesake, while in the rest it's short for "database").
So, I honestly have no idea where "dbappdev" points to, and I don't have access to the DNS records to check. -.-
What's more: I opened "dbappdev" on Heroku and tested out his new API -- lo and behold! it returns nada. Not a single byte. (Given his history I expected a 500, so this is an improvement, I think. Still totally useless, however.)
And furthermore: he didn't push the code to github, so I cannot test (or fix) it locally.
just. UGH.
every day with this guy, i swear.16 -
Guy i just met: So you are a programmer??
Me: Yaa, i known a few programming languages.
Guy: So can you like, make games and shit??
Me: ...6 -
During code review:
Guy (also the same guy who pushes code without making unit tests): "Hey, this thing you added is unnecessary. Remove it."
Me: "Have you read the rest of the changes? It isn't unnecessary."
Guy: "Not yet"1 -
It has now officially been 3 days and I haven't fully configured softwares on my new "windows" laptop( errors that takes google's 3rd page to solve😊) ... Because... "This guy fucks"
7 -
Legacy code.
Honestly though, this is some of the better legacy code I've worked with at this company. It's a nifty alert system wherein you can trigger sending messages to subscribers of that alert via whatever means (phone/email) they've entered.
I'll save you the technical analysis of its internals, but suffice to say it's actually pretty nice, with good separation of concerns, internal logic hidden away, dead-simple public interface, etc. documentation is kinda crap, but it exists (!), so that's a nice change.
but.
For some unknown and bloody bizarre reason, the thing breaks when a user wants both sms AND email notifications. Either by themselves work totally fine, but both together? nonono. Email alerts give ArgumentErrors, so something internal isn't correct, and SMS alerts complain about uninitialized Twilio::Error constants.
but.
they both work fine otherwise?
also, the two notification preferences aren't stored on the same object anywhere. if a user wants both, the user creates two AlertContact objects with different info, and when performed, the Alert basically iterates over these and does its thing for each, so there is no knowledge shared between them. totally should work the same regardless.
idfgi.
ALSO.
AND THIS PART REALLY PISSES ME OFF.
WHEN THERE'S AN ERROR, THIS THING DOESN'T LOG IT. IT STRINGIFIES THE ERROR OBJECT (basically just extracting the message) AND INSERTS THAT INTO THE DATABASE INSTEAD. WHAT THE CRAP.
So, I don't get a stack trace, line number, or anything. just the basic error message. instead of my alert text. because of course that makes sense and totally helps debugging.
aklsjfak;sldfj.
legacy code.5 -
Cute Girl: So you're like a computer guy, right?
Me in 2012: Yeah, I do some programming and...
Cute Girl: Ok *walks away*
Me in 2012: ........wait, come back! Don't go! I'll fix your printer for you! Or hack your friend's fb. Or make this cool app that you maybe have an idea for..? Don't leeeeeav...ah nvm, she's gone.5 -
Guy A : so I had to downloaded the one you sent ...
Guy B : wait you what
Guy A : I downloaded the file you sent
Guy B : you didn't need to download, you just had to save it
Guy A : NO, I had to download, if not it will cost my mobile bill
Guy B : NO, saving it won't cost any
And here I am : (屮゜Д゜)屮3 -
I’ve started the process of setting up the new network at work. We got a 1Gbit fibre connection.
Plan was simple, move all cables from old switch to new switch. I wish it was that easy.
The imbecile of an IT Guy at work has setup everything so complex and unnecessary stupid that I’m baffled.
We got 5 older MacPros, all running MacOS Server, but they only have one service running on them.
Then we got 2x xserve raid where there’s mounted some external NAS enclosures and another mac. Both xserve raid has to be running and connected to the main macpro who’s combining all this to a few different volumes.
Everything got a static public IP (we got a /24 block), even the workstations. Only thing that doesn’t get one ip pr machine is the guest network.
The firewall is basically set to have all ports open, allowing for easy sniffing of what services we’re running.
The “dmz” is just a /29 of our ip range, no firewall rules so the servers in the dmz can access everything in our network.
Back to the xserve, it’s accessible from the outside so employees can work from home, even though no one does it. I asked our IT guy why he hadn’t setup a VPN, his explanation was first that he didn’t manage to set it up, then he said vpn is something hackers use to hide who they are.
I’m baffled by this imbecile of an IT guy, one problem is he only works there 25% of the time because of some health issues. So when one of the NAS enclosures didn’t mount after a power outage, he wasn’t at work, and took the whole day to reply to my messages about logins to the xserve.
I can’t wait till I get my order from fs.com with new patching equipment and tonnes of cables, and once I can merge all storage devices into one large SAN. It’ll be such a good work experience.
7 -
A College Friend of mine has offered last year a free C++ course for everyone who is interested, this year he is doing the same in Rust. This guy can explain and gives a big part of his freetime for this.
He is just amazing.
Thanks to everyone who shares his/her knowledge!4 -
Guy: - "Your restart script doesn't work."
Me: - "What do you mean?"
Guy: - "It does nothing."
Me: - "It should kill every processes that's running within the project and start them again. Wait... Why do you terminate it?"
Guy: - "I don't. It just stops."
Me: - "It says `Terminated` here. You killed it. Just let it do it's job, don't kill it."
Guy: - "I'm not killing it! It just stops!"
(...two hours later...)
Me: - "Wait... Where do you run it from?"
Guy: - "What do you mean? I just run the script you gave me."
Me: - "Yeah, but where do you run it from? Where did you put it?"
Guy: - "It's part of the project so I put it in the project, d'oh!"11 -
*first class*
Teacher: Ok, you have to write if you know how to code, and write the languages too.
Guy in front of me: Yeah! Code!
Me: Hey, you know any language?
Guy: Sure! PHP...
Me: *Hm, okay, maybe he's goo...*
Guy: ...and HTML
Me: ...6 -
[PM] - "Hey, <that guy> is joining our team for the next 6 sprints"
[Me] - "Really?, <that guy>? You want bugs? Cos' that's how you get bugs"1 -
New guy (good friend) is on the line with me shadowing. OMFG THESE PEOPLE HAVE HEAVY ACCENTS. Only reason I can hear them is my babysitter has a heavy Vietnamese accent as well, so I'm used to it, but HOLY CRUD this is painful. I feel bad for my newest teammate28
-
So...new intern , table paired to mine , get my hopes up that it's hopefully not another stuck up uni kiddo , hopes get ruined . He asked me my name and what I do , when I told him I do product security his reaction was 'oh so you're not a dev ?' . Go.eat.shit.and.choke.with.those.alienware.headphones. he didn't even listen to what I had to say about that , just put on his headphones and ignored me . Prick.11
-
Today something amazingly incredible happened, I met a nice guy on stackoverflow, he even asked me if he could edit my question to make it better, and did not reproach me for asking a RTFM question.5
-
Freelance project I was working on was deployed. Without my knowledge. At 11pm. Their in-house "tech guy" thought that the preview build i gave them was good enough for deployment. Massive bug, broke their api endpoints.
Got a call at 2 in the morning,asking for a fix. I told them how it was their fault and the App they deployed had TESTING written right on the main screen.
They promised additional payment to get me to fix it asap.
Went through the commit history (thank goodness their tech guy knew git, fuck him for committing on production though) and the crash reports.
Removed three lines. All became right with the world again. 😎2 -
I started attending this IoT class in some computer training school. During my first class, I was early because I had the raspberry pi class earlier in the day. A guy came up to me and started chatting to me, he was bragging about how he created some big projects, how he works in his dad's company which develops IoT products (he codes it). Later on in class he talked about how he hacked his school's server or something and changed his marks. Whenever he brags, he has a tendency to use a deeper voice (which is pretty annoying).
Anyways so I thought he is pretty good and maybe I can learn a thing or two from him. A few class later, I started having my doubts, why? Because he doesn't know how to debug code, he copies the lecturer's code and still copies it wrong, and he doesn't know what variables and constants are. He uses IE and doesn't know about GitHub.
Now he asks me or the guy in front for help in class. He makes the class more fun, it's funny listening to him brag. Love it.2 -
"You should record video tutorials of how to do stuff", people say to me.
#1 - I suck on camera. I have a really annoying nasally voice that I just can't stand to hear in my own head, let alone on video.
#2 - I look like every stupid a--hole fat old ugly white guy people love to hate. Nobody wants to see that.
#3 - I suck at remembering what the f$$# I was going to say to begin the video, to show the thing I was going to show, and how to end it without sounding like a complete #@#%@# moron.
#4 - %@%$#@ QuickTime! And any other video screen recording software that NEVER $%#@#$% WORKS for me!! I'll be in the middle of a very complex process I'm demonstrating and BAM! The whole recording crashes. Six takes and six more crashes later and I'm @#%#@# done with trying to do this #@$@#%.
Screenshots and text it is and always will be.9 -
Guy 1: Can I come to your house
Guy 2: No don’t I don’t want to be ashamed by my fat mother
Guy 1: How fat is your mom
Guy 2: FAT 323 -
That guy at the office who's constantly and vocally upset he hasn't gotten into Bitcoin a long time ago.
That fucking guy.5 -
Sunday afternoon extra work..
New guy: what do you do?
Me: backend, mainly
New guy: c#?
Me: yeah, but not just..
New guy: so you're good at it?
Me: I'm a fucking proctologist
Awkward silence, followed by nerdy giggling -
FUCK YOU BUSINESS GUY
FUCK YOUR SCOPE CREEP
SOLO DEV AINT GIVING U 20 FEATURES IN ONE MOTHERFUCKING WEEK
Seriously, though. Being a solo full-stackq developer who can do both frontend (react, redux) and backend (feathers, node) does NOT mean you have twice the manpower to accomplish all of your shitty shit. Just because you have an idea does NOT mean I have to implement all of it. You don't even have a motherfucking specifications for me, yet you expect me to deliver shitloads of complete fucking feature in a fucking week. This is not a fucking joke. I am NOT your mother fucking tool. I need time to build my stack, design and perfect the interface. I don't want a shitty motherfucking product on my fucking portfolio.
*dies inside*
11 -
Once a weird co-worker gave me a condom..since I'm a weird guy too, I accepted it just to have a peculiar stuff in my wallet...I'm a guy, no girlfriend, he's a guy too...im straight tbh...him..i dunno1
-
I've been offered some freelance work.
The marketing guy in me says I can do it in 1 month. The technical guy in me knows I'm bullshitting.2 -
When your hardware friend keeps referring to Javascript as Java...WTF I figured you would know the difference!!!!!#/###!!!#2
-
Random guy to 3d artist : Want to listen joke
3d artist : sure
Random guy : Mac
3d artist : Fu×k u2 -
Guy talking with me a month ago:
Me: So you wanna take over project x now or shall I stay po/dev lead for some other months until you are worked in?
Guy: No, No it's fine lets continue for a while like this. Just assign me tickets and review my PRs.
Guy talking to Boss a month later:
Guy: There is no perspektiveeeee. I want to leaeaeaead! I want responsibilitiiiiiii.
Wtf do you want. -
One guy buyed a remote for his tv which moves the mouse's cursor by pointing with the remote. And inserted the usb receiver into another's guy pc: restarts, antivirus scan, nothing worked for the poor guy. His mouse was crazy.
-
I'm a guy and when the migraine hits me I feel like crying. Is it normal for a guy to cry, coz I'm not able to handle this pain.17
-
New guy started today. Nobody knew this. CPO forgot. There was no computer available. He was sent home after an hour of waiting in reception.12
-
Guy studies programming for a year.
Guy: I am going to start this amazing project wanna help
Me: Sure what is it
Guy: ***Long story of a decent idea***
Me: Sure Ill help, what do you need me to do
Guy: Only a few functions
A few days later...
Guy: Hey I don't where to start or how I should do it can you help me with like THE WHOLE PROGRAM?
If you haven't gathered from this story. Don't be that one guy who has an idea but doesn't write or make a plan for it as your just going to waste other peoples energy and resources.8 -
An IT guy told me during a phone meeting set up to talk about how he builds these web forms on a dumb CRM for a client of ours that he has been an IT professional for 25 years.
He says he doesn't know much about the codey stuff.
What do IT professionals do again?8 -
!rant
Neighbouring nursing student asked me to recommend her a good laptop. I take a look at her existing one and it's an ultra book in pretty much decent condition. I ask her what her issue with this one is and turns out there's not enough space on the hard disk (30 GB SSD). I advice her to consider upgrading instead of buying a new laptop and she agrees. She also asks me if I can fix the track par of the laptop as it's not working. I take a look at the system tray and then work my computer science magic (press the fn+F9 to activate the trackpad) and boom! It's a miracle and she's squealing with delight. I even ran a disk cleanup and wiped 3Gigs of space so that she could continue downloading the episode from Netflix.
I hear a lot of you people complain about being asked to do outrageous tech shit because you're a computer person but man, I sure love being the "tech guy". :D16 -
There's a guy who uses a small electric scooter to speed across the office. It's less than 30 meters to the other side of the office.
Guy is going to hurt someone at some point. I don't even know the guy but I can already tell he's a dick.3 -
Currently playing "the IT guy" for my uncle. I'm supposed to "speed up" the laptop. It's a low tier Toshiba from about 5 years ago, that while idle sits at about 100% CPU usage and 80% RAM usage.
From what I can tell, it has NEVER been turned off since I set it up for him 4 years ago, or unplugged..
16 -
Google creates: "Ad Plugin"
Opera creates: "AdBlock Plugin"
One guy creates: "BlockAdBlock Plugin"
Another guy:
2 -
My manager: Hey don't be afraid to ask the team for help if you feel blocked on a task.
Also my manager when I ask for help: I think you need to understand the task better before you ask for help.
WTF! Make up your mind. Do you want me to make progress or not? Freaking sucks being the new guy. 😑3 -
Doing coding from past 5 years.
Everyone treat me like regular working family member.
and then one day Dad stuck on some .gov site filling form.
He was not able to use backspace as developer forget to allow
backspace. So, I open console type the basic
document.getElementById().value = "";
Now, I am getting respect as a doctor get =_=3 -
Family moves abroad.
Has trouble with internet. They called the internet company who sent a repair guy to their house.
Since they couldn't understand what the repair guy said, they have me on FaceTime to talk to the repair guy.1 -
tfw...
• the new "sr dev" asks what the point of TDD is
• being polite, I answer in an ELI5 format
• rest of the room nods head in agreement
• new "sr dev" still has baffled look on face -
When I see bunch of errors in my code this badass guy comes in my mind who spend 22 years just to break a mountain who killed his wife.
Salute to such badass!!!
You can read more about him here :-
https://quora.com/What-is-the-most-...
11 -
Ranting about the guy on DevRant.
Business Guy asks me what app I'm using.
Open Midget Porn instead.
If he found out, I'm fucked.4 -
This happened yesterday during 1-2-1 meeting
My dear teamleader telling me.
"You're just a stupid consultant"
Well, this 'stupid consultant' has had enough of your bullshit and will look for future endeavors elsewhere.
You are free to consider your options and make the bad decisions, dear team 'leader'.
Cry at the sheer amount of work 'your' project really entails and I will revel in your failure
I'm done with this guy.
Team leaders should be ousted if they fail their team members and the projects they are responsible for.6 -
I need quit my job, my boss is an as***le... I want to kick my boss as** but, suddenly remember that I need this job, I need this money to help my mom and my sister to rise her childrens, my nephews...6
-
Used to be the intern in the company I work at...
Finally became a Jr software dev, I get to select the next intern...
That was 3 months ago, he has started and I get to bug fix all his stuff...
He's a nice guy tho -
Our smart and very professional sales guy strikes again,
I had to do some research on if I could print a pdf file directly from the server (be it php / nodejs)
When I told him I had found a solution he said, good job and went away, I was like...hmm k..
A few days later he came to my senior being mad that the project wasn't done in time.. And we were like.. Dude... What project!?
Apparently he made a deal to have a working demo in two weeks, but we (our dev team) never got that message...3 -
Shoutout to all the sales people in every organisation: the thing that you are selling with so much pride, someone smarter than you is making it. Don't be an asshole to the developer.
-
Oh gosh... This week a "friend" of mine will have a job interview for a company I am working at. This guy really just can't Code. He has no understanding of clean code, abstraction etc. He just knows the basics. But he loves to brag how good he is and got his bachelor degree. Damn I hate this guy and I hope HR won't hire him.7
-
Nobody's fault. It's just my naiveness.
Meeting time is at 1pm.
2 guys from 2 different companies and me.
Guy A and Guy B offices are a bit closer.
Meeting venue is Guy B office.
Guy A confirmed and reminded me about the meeting around 12.
I had my lunch early and left my office at 1230.
Got a call from Guy A while I'm on route.
Guy B forgot the appointment, went out and they have rescheduled it to 530pm.
In the end I had to pay a round trip ride for a taxi.
Well at least it's cold inside the taxi while outside temperature is 38°.2 -
My best prank: A year ago I was at my friends flat, which he finally rented with his new girlfriend. He is a kind of person, which has like constantly opened 110 tabs in chrome, three or four instances of chrome running, torrenting at full speed and in the meanwhile a few films having opened to "watch" later. He is very very secure about his computer and NEVER leaves me or anyone else alone with his computer. That day we were just talking in the same room, and he goes for some food. I was like yeah thats my chance to prank him. So I opened a new tab and came with an idea - what If I change his desktop background to some random chick, to prank both him and his gf. I knew she will not be mad but his reaction would be priceless (it was his first gf). So I started googling, found a three pretty naked chicks. This was like soft porn, they were still "dressed" but not much. I did not wanted to use a porn for this.
So I was about to download image - right click - save as - little window opened and..
...what the hell, that guy had literally like terabytes of porn in download folder, all totally in one chaos, thousands of images, millions of downloaded videos, all categories just everything from gangbang to milfs or old/ young, what the fuck that computer was like cursed station of porn.
In that point I was like fuck that. This prank has no sense then. So I just closed that little window and did nothing. Prank failed.
Nowdays, He still does not know what I know about his "hobbies". And I will never say him lol. About a months after he broke with his gf and moved to different house. He has now three monitors attached to his computer and 4tb of space. He is still complaining about "lack of space" and "too big downloaded movies" but we all know what is going on lol. We call his "working deck" a sacred porn station.1 -
Sometimes I hate it to be a "computer-guy". There is this one beautiful girl, I see her everyday in the train, but I just can't talk to her. I hate myself for not just saying " Hi" or whatever. I'd love to "just say something", but it doesn't work! Why the fuck am I thinking this much?!
Any tips? From dev to dev? Please?!33 -
Back where I used to work, we had this a-hole call center guy who isn't a programmer but got promoted as our team leader. He said he used to program on his early days at the company (?) . He claims that made back-ups of his source code in MS Word and even tries to gives us a lecture about backing up programs.
I really hate those a-wipes who often get promoted and suddenly goes up to their heads
7 -
it was not a technical interview.
just screening.
guy: tell me smth about redis.
me: key value, in memory storage.
guy: more
me: umm, the concept is similar to localStorage in browsers, key value storage, kinda in memory.
guy: so we use redis in browsers?
me: no, I mean the high level concept is similar.
guy: (internally: stupid, fail).3 -
I work as a .Net consultant. Currently I am at a company that blocks all sociale media sites and sites that look like 'em. I don't mind the social media, but YouTube is also blocked and I need my dose of daily epic music world while developing. So, I set up a proxy on my server to easily bypass these blockades. Note: company policy says nothing about not being allowed certain websites, I always read this before using this trick.
Last week, a new guy joined the company and gets a desk just next to me. After a lot of looking at my screens and trying stuff he asks me for the entire office: "Hey how are you going on YouTube? It doesn't see to work for me.". 😫
The rest of the day, I had to explain to co-workers what a proxy is (they don't care about any tech they don't need...). And I had to explain to the pm that I was not hacking their network...
I'm not sure if I will be getting along with this new guy.... 😧1 -
The guy kept laughing all the time, so I turn and I see… a guy browsing anime underage feet pics.
And yes, before you ask he looked like the basement dweller meme guy.4 -
I worked with a delightfully eccentric co-worker for many years... He was a UI/UX guy by trade but had a uniquely broad set of experiences in life.
Typical day often included singing, nerd-ranting and general jovial conversation. He was always a hoot at lunch as well, choosing to loudly proclaim his ultimate satisfaction and enjoyment at the meal he was consuming. -
My friend asked me how to root his phone because I'm the computer guy, of course.
I didn't want to be a douche to him so I googled and directed him to a few pages that may help. He kept asking questions regarding rooting until it worked for him and it was all fine by me.
His last question though was how much it cost to replace the broken screen on his tablet!!3 -
I remeber being classified as the nerd at school. Picked on because i wasnt socially normal or part of the croud. Programming became my love and a few years later. Im doing very well and now those that use to think it was fun picking on me see me as the guy they need inspiration ideas and help from because im doing well for myself and im considering helping them.
It sucks being a good guy.. I cant get myself to turn others away that needs help2 -
Personally, I am fine with Windows and I run it on a couple boxes. Just don't be the Ignorant Windows Guy at work who needs constant help when there's not a GUI for something. Not as annoying as Elitist Linux Guy or Pompous Mac Guy, but still annoying.1
-
Best explanation of callback from Stackoverflow:
Guy 1 to Guy 2: Hey dude I wanna do something when a user clicks in there, call me back when that's happens alright?
Guy 2 calls back Guy 1 when a user clicks here -
A programmer wrote scripts to secretly automate a lot of his job -- including to automatically email his wife and make himself a latte
Read more at https://businessinsider.com.au/prog...2 -
!rant
When you inherit some code from the job student and you notice how well written and commented it is. I'm glad he is soon returning as a fulltime employee. Hope he will keep this up. -
me making new dev friends
[...]
me: yeah that's cool what IDE are you using for C++?
guy: like an editor where I write the code?
me: ......yes?
guy: hold on, I don't know what it was called
> taps around his desktop
> guy shows word 2007
> I'm laughing a bit uncomfortably because I'm not sure whether he is serious or not
> guy opens up .cpp file in word
> so many questions
> mfw
2 -
In 2 months this guy redesigned 5 times the same website. Without saying nothing to the backend developer. Oh wait... this guy is me...
-
Had a university project with friends, got another guy (#1) in our team. Upon being asked if we would take yet another guy (#2), we were sceptical if he was a good developer... Turned out guy #2 is one of the best of us, guy #1 can't do shit.
-
And this happened today:
While on ssh session, this guy restarted network manager. According to him "his Facebook page wasn't showing him recent feeds". -
My family thinks me as
- the guy who fixes computers
- the guy who fixed mobile devices
- the guy who knows (must know) about mobile phones (which I personally can care less)1 -
Can't decide between the guy that used gedit to code and the guy who wouldn't read the documentation.
Wait, that was the same guy! -
New guy hasn't written or commuted any code, yet he is the most annoying person doing code reviews with bullshit comments.
Normally when I start at a new shop, I hold off on code reviews until I'm at least familiar with the project(s).1 -
QA guy: Your app crashed on this Samsung.
Me: Checks Firebse logs and finds out that phone was rooted and tells QA guy.
QA guy: You must consider all use cases.
Fuck you dude!2 -
Any linux distro recommendations that works well in a virtual machine? Would like to try Linux but I still use Windows for my everyday C# and student life.29
-
So my client want a bottom navigation bar item that opens a side navigation drawer on click. And this drawer has even more navigation item! He says "my UX guy said this is correct" WTF2
-
One of the things that fascinates me about software engineering, is how there is no metric to determine who is the best software engineer.
The guy who worked at FAANG?
The guy who started his own company and created their own product?
The guy who owns a RGB and two monitors setup?11 -
I hate it when an opinion is valued by someone seniority.
Sure, you might not like react, fine, but if your only argument for that is it being built by Facebook, you're just an ass.
Sure, you might not like node, fine, but if your only argument for that is your prejudice towards javascript , you're just an ass.
Normally this guy is pretty nice, but fuck you for talking about shit you don't understand6 -
The tale about our famous imbecile IT guy goes on.
After 7++ emails from the CXO and 4 emails from head of dev department, the IT guy has still, not provided the access I requested for our servers.
Do note, the head of dev department has been appointed by the Board of Directors to manage the infrastructure upgrade and merge.
The way everything has been done till now, is that one person controls everything and holds the usernames/ passwords. That’s going to change. At least 3 people will know it. And a super user will be created, and password given to the board of directors in a sealed envelope
I guess someone is at risk of loosing their job...
/me looks at IT guy1 -
It sucks when you’re also poor cause you need to go out to ex. empty trash can. If you’re living in small apartment it will get claustrophobic sooner or later. If you live with family you’re hero if you won’t kill them.
Now if I can’t travel around I see no gain at all and only pain points.
So if you can’t afford big house with swimming pool, gardener, maid, bar and bartender, private lake and car racing track you still need to go outside of your property.
So if you’re poor and you’re working remotely during pandemic you will most likely gain depression, claustrophobia and other mental illness that will sooner or later ruin your and other people’s life except psychologists if only you can afford one.3 -
So I help I help this guy with setting up a Ruby Api backend for free.. First mistake,
Guy: hey you want something in return like LinkedIn endorsements.
Me: sure that be cool!
Guy endorses me for HTML...
Guy: your welcome!!!
Me: wtf.. HTML???
Guy: Dude your so ungrateful.1 -
Am I weird if I decline lucrative job offers just to have a job that is fun and kinda meaningful even if I don't push my limits here, but they really can use my expertise? On related note, is there a bag of money that would convince you to do some boring job in corporate environment working on some fucked up internal systems of some fucked up bank? I found out that twice my current salary is not enough but tempting. Am I weird?2
-
Sometime last year I had an internship at a small company.
Test servers weren't a thing, and after local testing, it would go to production with a backup of the files that we would put back as soon as we notice something was broken or off.
We used symfony and sonata admin was part of the bundle.
One day, boss asks me to show all the items in a table on the admin page instead of 30 rows.
Me being good guy intern say "sure no problem" so after finding the magic number, I set it to 0 instead of 30.
I gave my work reviewed by my supervisor (senior dev there) and he approved it.
I try to upload the file over FTP. No permissions.
Ask the other dev what it's about, his response: "no idea"
So he tries, fails and decides to try SSH.
Somehow, after fiddling for 20 minutes with ssh, we managed to upload the file.
As soon as we did we hear a scream from the boss's office, we refresh the site, and no matter what page we went to, all we saw was white and the logo of the company in the top left corner.
So this time, we fiddled around with ssh to restore the file for 20 minutes.
Finally succeed all goed back to normal.
A little while later, we call a meeting with the bosses and ask to rewrite the website, BAM, we get approval.
We said "two weeks tops", well that lasted 3 months.
In the end bosses are Uber happy with the work and everything ended well.
Also, development speed has multiplied. -
So I'm working on a project with another developer and a frontend guy. Now the frontend guy has the lead as the other dev and I can only do our job based on his work. So he had 3 months to deliver us the first part BUT has rarely been in communication. When he does email he just says "designing concept "FOR 3 FUCKING MONTHS" Now we are 1 week before the project is due for delivery and he is saying that he will send us over the concept this FRIDAY!! 3days days before project is due.........................................................................................AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHRBFKDBDKSJRUDISNCFKSORVEOFBFOWBFFKDKWNDB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!2
-
OMG!! the SCSS is so Sassy..... perfect name for an extension....
SASS : Syntactically Awesome Style Sheet.
I wonder what this guy(the guy who named sass) named his child/pet1 -
So last semester for my English class, I had to learn a "new skill" and write an essay [the final] about it. So naturally instead of taking the time to learn something new, I just slapped together a c# (in which I'd say I'm already fluent) calculator app with winforms.
When it came time to present my "new" skill to the class, everybody was overimpressed. Then at the end of my little presentation, one guy goes "Oh! Is that all done in HTML?".
Without giving it a thought, I instinctively replied "No, it's a programming language". He just looked so confused after that. -
This is an actual transcript...
Since it's way too long for the normal 5000 characters, hence splitting it up...
Infra Guy: mr Dev, could you please give some rational for update of jjb?
Dev: sparse checkout support is missing
Infra Guy: is this support mandatory to achive whatever you trying to do?
Dev: yes
Infra Guy: u trying to get set of specific folder for set of specific components?
Dev: yes
Infra Guy: bash script with cp or mv will not work for you?
Dev: no
Infra Guy: ?
Dev: when you have already present functionality why reinvent the wheel
Dev: jenkins has support for it
Dev: the jjb is the bottle neck
Infra Guy: getting this functionality onto our infra would have some implications
Dev: why should I write bash script if jenkins allows me to do that
Dev: what implications ??
Infra Guy: will you commit to solve all the issues caused by new jjb?
Dev: you show me the implications first
Infra Guy: like a year ago i have tried to get new jjb <commit_url>
Infra Guy: no, the implications is a grey area
Infra Guy: i cant show all of them and they may hit like in week or eve month
Dev: then why was it not tackled
Dev: and why was it kept like that
Infra Guy: few jobs got broken on something
Dev: it will crop up some time later
Dev: if jobs get broken because of syntax
Dev: then jobs can be fixed
Dev: is it not ???
Infra Guy: ofc
Infra Guy: its just a question who will fix them
Dev: follow the syntax and follow the guidelines
Dev: put up a test server and try and lets see
Dev: you have a dev server
Dev: why not try on that one and see what all jobs fails
Dev: and why they fail
Dev: rather than saying it will fail and who will fix
Dev: let them fail and then lets find why
Dev: I manually define a job
Dev: I get it done
Infra Guy: i dont think we have test server which have the same workload and same attention as our prod
Dev: unless you test how would you know ??
Dev: and just saying that it broke one with a version hence I wont do it
Infra Guy: and im not sure if thats fair for us to deal with implication of upgrading of the major components just cause bash script is not good enough for u
Dev: its pretty bad
Infra Guy: i do agree
Infra TL Guy: Dev, what Infra Guy is saying is that its not possible to upgrade without downtime
Infra Guy: no
Dev: how long a downtime are we looking at ??
Infra Guy: im saying that after this upgrade we will have deal with consequences for long time
Infra Guy-2: No this is not testing the upgrade is the huge effort as we dont have dev resources to handle each job to run
Dev: if your jjb compiles all the yaml without error
Dev: I am not sure what consequences are we talking of
Infra Guy: so you think there will be no consequences, right?
Dev: unless you take the plunge will you know ??
Dev: you have a dev server running at port 9000
Infra Guy: this servers runs nothing
Dev: that is good
Dev: there you can take the risk
Infra Guy: and the fack we have managed to put something onto api doesnt mean it works
Dev: what API ?
Infra Guy: jenkins api
Infra Guy: hmmm
Dev: what have you put on Jenkins API ??
Infra Guy: (
Dev: jjb is a CLI
Infra Guy: ((
Dev: is what I understand
Dev: not a Jenkins API
Infra Guy: (((
Dev: (((((
Infra Guy: jjb build xmls and push them onto api
Infra Guy: and its doent matter
Dev: so you mean to say upgrading a CLI is goig to upgrade your core jenkisn API
Dev: give me a break
Infra Guy: the matter is that even if have managed to build something and put it onto api
Infra Guy: doesnt mean it will work
Dev: the API consumes the xml file and creates a job
Infra Guy: right
Dev: if it confirms to the options which it understands
Dev: then everything will work
Dev: I am actually not getting your point Infra Guy
Infra Guy: i do agree mr Dev
Dev: we are beating around the bush
Infra Guy: just want to be sure that if this upgrade will break something
Infra Guy: we will have a person who will fix it
Dev: that is what CICD is supposed to let me know with valid reasons
Dev: why can't that upgrade be done
Infra Guy: it can be done
Infra Guy: i even have commit in place3 -
where was that guy that was citing "eFfIcIeNT MarKeT HyPoThEsIs"
clearly its a poor guy who doesn't know what math is
#quantsunite
3 -
About to start a new job in a few weeks. I haven't been the 'new guy' in a couple years. Any advice?12
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Customers CEO insists we need to start the 3 weeks to deliver crunch website project by having the hottest UX design on the planet done by a professional UX specialist specializing in hotness who might charge a lot and take a few weeks and leave us no time to deliver said hotness. Grrrr.
I felt like Sirus Black as a dog bouncing of the chest of the werewolf.
When I explained in full why it's a great idea to have a great UX concept, the project is an education website, for the government, and it's WCAG AA. Balanced against all the reasons that we had more urgent things to look at with such a short timeframe they insisted "The UX Guy" will save us. Dear fascist bully boy. I am a UX guy! I may not be "The UX Guy" but I remember when Javascript was for popups and the extent of most peoples PHP was sending forms via anonymous SMTP. I bet the design will look something like the CNN website or Apple.com. Both bastions of web accessibility standards. Grrrrrr. -
Anyone here also knows/works with someone who is really great at POCs but sucks big time when it comes to the real thing? I hate that guy. Dont be that guy. That guy will be your team's downfall.
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Finished vocational training! :) Fulltime front-end guy now. #happy no hassle with shitty school or something anymore - lets focus on side projects again :)
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So we had a new platform guy start this morning.
*2 hours later*
They fired the only previous other platform guy. Well this'll end well... -
A new guy joined my team two months ago he is more experienced than I am, but his knowledge yet is not good enough for our project. He is on live project working with me on a feature. I have major trust issues right now. How do people handle that in your teams?3
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Ive been working with APIs in web dev for a couple of months now and now I think Im ready to make my own. However, im not really what what I should make an API for. Any ideas?9
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When you have a degree in computer science, certifications and the non-developers know you as the Design Guy/CSS Guy 😞😞😞
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I'm very new to the business world, this is my first freelance project, a website with articles, editable profile pages and a calendar. I can't say no to the customer so the scope grew a bit too fat. I'm moving to England and starting university next week, and the project is going to be transferred to some guy, supposedly for maintenance, but it's not even close to complete. I feel like shit for failing them and especially I feel bad for the poor guy after me.2
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