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4am
"I need to brush my teeth before going to sleep 😵"
*goes to bathroom*
*washes hands*
*goes to bed*
1minute of heavy processing later
"FUCK"7 -
It's such a lovely day, sun is shining, think I'll sit outside with my laptop and a beer and continue working on personal project.
(...goes outside)
It's too bright, can't see shit, plus working on two screens is easier
(goes back inside) -
I don't even know if this should be a rant or a good thing, but here it goes:
my boss smokes (legal) weed in the office, under the AC, so the smoke goes up and it spreads all over the place => we all get a bit stoned8 -
This happens everyday
> Picks phone up to test changes to mobile app
> oh look I got a notification
> Scroll, Scroll, like, like, lol, lmao, that's gross, lol, haha
> 5 minutes goes by
> Puts phone down
> Goes back to computer
> What the fuck am I forgetting....2 -
I accidentally broke our office’s tablet device. Operations manager said it will be deducted from my salary next month.
Few weeks later, my operations manager breaks his laptops touch screen. I almost did a naked run in excitement.9 -
*launch software*
> goes tits up with no info
*restart machine, launch software*
> still goes tits up
*su to the user it runs as and run it manually because fuck you shitstaind*
> still goes tits up
*launch with debug logs enabled*
> suddenly works
What is this black magic?!10 -
Why do people always think the following:
When something goes wrong on windows its the fault of windows.
When something goes wrong on linux its probably a misconfiguration.
Most of the time things that go wrong on windows are misconfigurations or faulty software.10 -
I think every programmer goes through this time every day....
#Don't wait for inspiration, become it. #balls
-
Tooday
Movie sucks
Games sucks
Most programmers sucks
Buying a house sucks
Try to get a grocery under 200$ for nothing sucks
Have child with no future other then capitalisme sucks
Friends that don't take any news in 8 years sucks
Have a girlfriend that don't sucks sucks
Buying pricey shit and thinking i will survive at least 10 years and broke after 3 years with warranty sucks
All social platforms sucks ( other then devrant)
Working for a shit salairy and doing everyone jobs sucks
Lossing mind about idiots in our world sucks
My english sucks
You sucks
My water heater sucks
My landlord sucks
My budget sucks
My old 16 years old bike i use to go work sucks
Government sucks
House builder sucks at 80%
Bank fuck you everytime sucks
Taxes for any service sucks
Medical system in canada sucks
Educational system in canada sucks
Goes on each day i realize something sucks...12 -
Tried installing docker on windows today (for an experiment) and after it finally installs and goes to start up i get the hyper-v required, installing will prevent virtualbox from working.
Yea... FUCK NO! There goes that idea 😡3 -
> reboots PC
> goes to work
> goes to hang out with friends after work
> comes home 14 hours after rebooting PC
FML... damn thing even has an SSD in ir for crying out loud
6 -
In my day off I was eager to try overclocking in my pc and this is how it went:
- Fucked up overclocking parameters for cpu and ram speed.
- BIOS is broken, had to take out gpu to do a reset taking out the bios battery.
- BIOS is up again, default values loaded, bla bla
- Did not try to fuck off anymoar with overclocking, just kept playing star wars and went to sleep safe and sound like a baby.
- Gotta work now. docker does not start, closes itself after tried to start, docker panic, I panic, tried to uninstall, tried to update. nothing works
- Then I remember bios default values leaves virtualization off. enables it again, docker still not working. I panic again, restarted pc like 10 times between disabling/enabling hyper-v in windows.
- Docker dies. not gonna change my overclock options again. silly me 🤦♂️9 -
Basically all those graphical applications for developing apps and programs.
Take fucking Thunkable for example.
Or the unholy abomination that is scratch.
Contradictory to the education system, I believe that it absolutely does not prepare students for programming.
Like "ummm puzzle goes there uuhh that goes there ajdjsudheirnrifksmci"5 -
This day I have received the most glorious news in e-pistolary form. For some years, I was suffering in support of a client who was, well, insufferable. My presence there paralleled the divine comedy in both essence and fact.
I opened the missive, expecting another plea to bail them out of whatever clusterfuck they found themselves in. Instead, what I found was something truly magical.
"Hey Human,
I hope this finds you well. I'm not sure if you remember a few years back, we were trying to decide between IBM Cloud and AWS. Well, after years of battling FF*, we're finally moving ahead with AWS. He failed one too many times to deliver anything visibly. After you left, there was no one left he could use to steal credit, ideas, and work.
FF is still pushing to have them use IBM cloud as a "warm backup" in the event "AWS fails." We will see where that goes.
I figured you'd like to know; you were the void in the wilderness for a long time. I don't want to think about how much time we could have saved if we had just listened.
PeeEm**"
This event represents a personal victory, albeit belated, over a few peoples' absurd amount of privilege. Towards the end, I was vicious about my contestation to the insanity of adopting a desperate hedge attempt-as-cloud offering from a failing company. Some examples:
// cloud 'strategy meeting'
Moi: What cloud platform are we looking at using?
FF: We're looking at IBM cloud and AWS as a second.
Moi: Why is that? I understand you're obligated to rep your offering first, but that decision doesn't seem to have the customer's best interest at heart.
FF: IBM cloud is a market leader; AWS isn't as good.
Moi: I see. I mean, that's the tech equivalent of the company's fleet management considering monkeys on tricycles as a strong competitor to service trucks, but I get what you mean.
// steering meeting
Director: Who can we look to as an example? Who is currently using the IBM cloud?
Moi: No one; they account for a single-digit portion of the actual cloud market. Their long game to sell you a "Hybrid Cloud," which means put some front end payload in a CDN, and buy n-frame units of IBM z servers for the DC with IBM gateway appliances acting as connective tissue. So it's not the cloud at all, really.
Director: How does it compare in cost?
Moi: It's generally 40% more expensive than other clouds, and it only goes higher as you option their software.
Director: What about Watson? I hear Watson is good?
Moi: It's a brand name. Most of the "Watson" product is just a facade on top of FOSS products like Spark, Hadoop, Elasticsearch, etc.
Director: Those were words. They sounded good. FF say it's good tho so we'll believe him because we're from the same city.
Moi: *deletes Director from LinkedIn*
Moral of the story: Never trust a vendor that only recommends their products.
*FF = FatFuck - an embarrassingly rotund individual whose girth is roughly equivalent to his height. He shit his way into an IBM architect position in his mid-20s purely due to winning the visa lottery. He had fake hair glued to his head for his wedding to hide his male pattern baldness; his arrange-married wife undoubtedly cries herself to sleep after sex.
**PeeEm - the then project manager, now portfolio manager of some satellite projects. An overall decent human being, capable.9 -
*Writes Slack message*
*Sends*
*Notices mistake*
*Goes to edit*
*Accidentally pins message*
*Goes to edit*
*Accidentally deletes*
*Gives up on life*3 -
"No i mean the bot goes offline like whatever is hosting it goes offline and then the bot literally doesnt respond to commands"
- One guy trying to prove how "unreliable" a bot is.
Kill me.2 -
Ffs😪, Google play rating is worst than the University GPA, you get 10 5 star rating it goes up 0.1 you get 1 start rating it goes down 1.5 😂😂
-
My director has started a new thing. We all have to tell what we did the previous day, what we are planning to do in the current day and if there are any blockers.
Good thing, right?
The only thing is that all these things are already plotted on the sprint board. It’s right fucking there in front of our eyes.
So what do we do? Just reiterate what is already written there. Fuck my productive life.6 -
There are two stages in programming.
The first is when everything goes smooth as heck, and you're a god.
The second is when everything goes to shit, and you don't understand anything.2 -
Code katas are by far the most cringe thing I've ever seen in the dev world. Second place goes to dan abramov, third goes to python's “zen of python” naïveté being baked into the fucking language itself and printed out when you write “import this”.
4 -
"Holy shit, my computer is laggy, what's taking this much ressources?"
> top
"Holy shit why the fuck is Java even running? Let's kill this son of a bitch"
> kill -9 <process>
> Rubymine closes
I'm a fucking idiot. -
Here we go again.
GitHubs copilot goes live and Amazon introduces their own.
https://aws.amazon.com/visualstudio...5 -
Today is my last day before my annual two-week leave. 🌝
“Can you do this quickly before leaving? 🤔”,
“Yeah, ofcourse, np. 🤷🏻♂️”
But why would it not.. Everything that always ran smoothly and used to work without ever giving me issues.. is now giving me issues.. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻1 -
Imagine this scenario:
You'll no longer be living the life you got accustomed to. You'll no longer be seeing people you used to see and interact almost everyday. It's quite overwhelming feeling when that reality hits you.
That's how I'm feeling right now. It feels weird. A major part of my life since over a year will no longer be there.
Though i hated most of my time there, it still feels.
😑3 -
Dev DB just auto shutdown in the middle of a restore.
From an online backup.
With NORECOVERY.
Shit.1 -
"I'm gonna wake up early, and hammer out this feature, being super productive tomorrow"
Tomorrow comes:
- unexpected build errors
- unexpected runtime errors
- intermittent CI pipeline errors
- spends two hours trying to resolve errors
- literally hasn't touched the thing that's important
What else is going to go sideways? Watch Bitbucket or CircleCI fuck up and refuse to deploy this live for some stupid reason.8 -
Bad day already, code to upload to to sites and the network goes down. while working to restore network, laptop battery goes. plugged in laptop and now it won't boot in to Xfce!!!! totally FML day.1
-
When you are planning to do a great amount of work during the weekend but you get stuck on one thing and there goes working on that one thing the WHOLE weekend.
There goes my project plan.
*Frustration at its best * 😣😣 -
Python file truncate instead of actually deleting file contents...
there goes a weekend of log backups.. FML -
x = 10
while (x --> 0) // While X goes to Zero
{
print(x);
}
// Output: 9876543210
"Goes to" is the funniest operator, also it works in almost any language XD4 -
Never lose your confidence as a dev, especially when those fucking managers tryna blame you for anything that goes wrong in the system or just wanna make you feel like shit.
This goes out to y’all managers. Fuck you!!! -
!rant
Coordinate with hosting to create a backup and a snapshot for a week prior to crazy intrusive data cleanup we will be doing this weekend.
Saturday comes, here I sit waiting for confirmation of the backup for two hours now.... Dicks. -
I just realized I can easily sanitize the data by using + as “ and I haven’t even had coffee yet. I might be on a roll today.
-
Me at 9 pm working on a project: this will only take a couple minutes...
Me a few minutes later: fuck, it's three in the morning...
And that's why I have sleep issues. -
Procrastination bash script, goes really well with a cup of coffee! ;)
https://gist.github.com/paulera/... -
> 2018
> yay, let's write some android code
> oh look, socialRepository.getMember(memberId);
> let's see what this method does
> ctrl + click
> goes to an interface ಠ_ಠ
> find the implementation
> oh look, apiClient.getMember(memberId);
> let's see what this method does.
> ctrl + click
> goes to an interface ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ
> find the implementation
> oh look, apiService.getMember(memberId);
> ctrl + click
> goes to an interface ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ
At least the last interface was the implementation of the api service with Retrofit.1 -
Anyone find it a little worrying the when amazon AWS goes down a large portion of sites goes down. Just my opinion but shouldn't there be more than one company or subset of that company handling smaller portions of sites?2
-
Story : https://devrant.com/rants/7718922
Update:
The first girl goes to Sweden.
The Second girl goes to the UK.
The third girl temporarily moved to Kuwait
I'm not gonna lie, felt so sad when the first one goes5 -
My first production support release is next week and its from midnight till 5am and be at work at 8:00am. If something goes wrong with any of the other developers from our team goes wrong I have to figure it out. And this image is exactly how I picture it goes, if any tickets fail. (🤘🏽 bring it on! )
-
I love deadlines.
I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
--- Douglas Adams
Work in the team goes
Whoosh whoosh whoosh
Whoosh whoosh whoosh
Work in the teams goes
whoosh whoosh whoosh
Although the sprint
-- me
Reference
Rhyme - wheels on the bus goes
Quote - https://goodreads.com/author/... -
So, yesterday I downloaded Manjaro KDE Linux, and I don't why, but when I scroll down something, the page goes up and scroll up, it goes down, it's so frustrating, idk what's happening thier ಠ︵ಠ4
-
This morning, my teacher in Integration course showed us a demonstration of Fourier series converging to the graph of their function using Maple.
He tells us it is advised to know how to use it and experiment in order to comprehend the lesson in a more intuitive way.
I check out the computers there to see if there is a licensed Maple software. There were none of it.
Okay then, can I get it to download on my PC ? Sure... For $100 to get a lifetime student version.
Heeeeeeeeeeeeck...2 -
When the users say UAT went brilliant yet mysteriously all goes BOOM when feature goes live. #aDayInTheLifeOfAdev
-
How can I make a slideshow like this that goes so when you touch the screen it goes to a page to display options in html css js?
6 -
So much rant about managers...Managers also got managers...and so on...Hence the rant goes and goes on...Goes higher...Any idea where it may stops?
🤔🤔🤔🤔
- A quick thought rant..5 -
Why deVops?
Because developer and production team team blame each other. when things goes crazy.
#DevopsForPeace
#DevopsFor2 -
Contributing to big repositories on git be like,
and here goes my push,
Wait, I need to rebase
Ok, done, now push
Oh fuck, I need to rebase again.
The cycle goes on 😓 -
npm install
iCloud Sync goes boom
webpack
iCloud Sync goes boom
git anything
iCloud Sync goes boom4 -
There was a good old barber in Mumbai. One day a florist goes to him for a haircut. After the cut, he goes to pay the barber and the barber replies:
I am sorry, I cannot accept money from you; I am doing a Community Service.
Florist is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is a "Thank You" Card and a dozen roses waiting at his door.
A Confectioner goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber. He again refuses to take the money.
The Confectioner is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, there is another "Thank you" Card and a dozen Cakes waiting at his door.
A Software Engineer goes for a haircut and he also goes to pay the barber again refuses the money saying that it was a community service.
The next morning when the Barber goes to open his shop, guess what he finds there......
A Dozen Software engineers waiting for a free haircut... with Printouts of forwarded mail mentioning about free haircut.
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