Halloween is right around the corner and I'm getting ready for the trick or treating kids 😂

A super creepy webcrawler I built with a friend in Haskell. It uses social media, various reverse image searches from images and strategically picked video/gif frames, image EXIF data, user names, location data, etc to cross reference everything there is to know about someone. It builds weighted graphs in a database over time, trying to verify information through multiple pathways — although most searches are completed in seconds.

I originally built it for two reasons: Manager walks into the office for a meeting, and during the meeting I could ask him how his ski holiday with his wife and kids was, or casually mention how much I would like to learn his favorite hobby.

The other reason was porn of course.

I put further development in the freezer because it's already too creepy. I'd run it on some porn gif, and after a long search it had built a graph pointing to a residence in rural Russia with pictures of a local volleyball club.

To imagine that intelligence agencies probably have much better gathering tools is so insane to think about.

Boss: "I don't want to comply with the GDPR"

Me, DPO: "I've told you the house rules. You must comply, stop arguing"

Boss: "But I don't want it. Bobby doesn't have to, and Eve doesn't have to, their moms are cool"

Me: "I don't give a crap about the other kids, you're going to be GDPR compliant. Bob and Eve will end up being raped in prison. It's that what you want?"

Boss: "What if I just pretend to do it."

Me: "I'll take away all your marketing toys. No more mailchimp for you young man."

Boss, crying: "You wouldn't touch my Facebook pixel!"

Me: "Especially your Facebook pixel. I'm so sick of that thing...."

Me: "...Look, you can still play with your toys, all I'm saying is you need to be honest and ask your buddies for consent before you put your pixels up their various holes"

Boss: "But they will never agree!"

Me: "Maybe that is good thing"

Boss: "But how will we get people to like us if I can't feed them pills and insert probes into their holes to measure their responses?"

Me: "Maybe you should focus on being a nice kid, someone people like to play with. Your buddies will tell other kids that you're a nice guy. Now, I'm not going to lie to you, it will be hard work. Much more effort than what you're doing now. But you know, those friends will stick with you for decades, instead of just until the marketing-drugs wear off"

Boss: "I think I want a new mom"

Me: "You signed a contract. You're stuck with me for the next 2 years. And as long as you're living under my roof, you will follow my rules."

11 kids in Sydney recreated Martin Shkreli's drug for just $2. The moral of the story? When you do cool shit like this, it's ok if you don't wear pants!

Person: "I'm using Ubuntu. It's my first time using Linux. It looks pretty nice and it works for me."
People: "Eww. Loser. Ubuntu sucks! I'm a Linux god."

Person: "I think PHP is fine and has improved."
People: "Yikes. Don't use PHP. Everyone hates it."

Person: "I like using Angular. It gets the Job done."
People: "Boo! Use React. Angular sucks!"

So there you go, kids. If you wanna stay cool, listen to other people's opinion and their way of thinking. No need to really immerse and try out the tools that seem to work for you.

So, I grew up on the US/Mexican border, in a city where saying there's no opportunity is like saying the Titanic suffered a small leak on its maiden voyage. There were two kinds of people in said town: Mexicans trying to find something less shit than juarez and white trash reveling in their own failure. I came from the latter, for whatever that's worth.

I graduated high school when I was almost 16 years old. Parents couldn't really afford to support three kids and pay the rent on the latest in a long line of shit holes we migrated in and out of. If being a serial eviction artist is a thing, my family were savants.

I applied to college and got accepted only to be told by my father that he didn't see the need. Turns out the only reason he'd helped me graduate early was so I could start working and help pay his bills. I said okay, turned around and tossed a bag and my shitty af spare parts computer into the back of the junkyard Vega I generously referred to as a car and moved cross country. Car died on arrival, so I was basically committed.

Pulled shifts at two part times and what kids today call a side hustle to pay for school, couch surfed most of the time. Sleep deprivation was the only constant.

Over the first 4 months I'd tried leveraging some certs and previous experience I'd obtained in high school to get employment, but wasn't having much luck in the bay area. And then I lost my job. The book store having burned down on the same weekend the owner was conveniently looking to buy property in Vegas.

Depression sets in, that wonderful soul crushing variety that comes with what little safety net you had evaporating.

At a certain point, I was basically living out of the campus computer lab, TA friend of mine nice enough to accidentally lock me in on the reg. Got really into online gaming as a means of dealing with my depression. One night, I dropped some code on a UO shard I'd been playing around on. Host was local, saw the code and offered me a job at his firm that paid chump change, but was three times what all my other work did combined and left time for school. Ground there for a few years until I got a position with work study at LBL that conflicted too much for it to remain mutually beneficial. Amicable parting of the ways.

Fucking poverty is what convinced me to code for a living. It's a solid guarantee of never going back to it. And to anyone who preaches the virtues of it and skipping opportunity on grounds of the moral high ground, well, you know.

Me: we only got 40 minutes notice that we had to stay in late for a meeting with the USA team. Can we politely ask them to give us like a days notice in future? I can’t just stay late at any time, neither can the guys with kids to collect.

Manager: oh ok. I’m very sorry this has affected you. Here, let me explain why this is going to keep happening and you’ll need to deal with it.

A couple of weeks back, I met some of the kids from my old school. They had joined together to form a small team and were designing and deploying websites for local businesses.

Turns out that they were mailing each other and using Dropbox to manage the source code. This had been going on nearly for an year.

I spent a couple of hours showing them how to use git and gitlab. Basics on committing, pushing, pulling, branching and merging.

I will never forget the look on their faces! They had seen God and its name is Git.

JS.... you know... For the kids..

Saw this quote in a local newspaper. The guy is against buying laptops for school kids which I also am against but he makes the wrong argument. 25 years ago my school had computer rooms where we learnt how to code and although I don't use that language now it is still the same concepts as any modern language.

I googled "fuck apple" and ended up here... so yeah fuck this piece of shit company with shitty overpriced cancer inducing products. Xcode is the worse garbage I've ever seen in my life. For a company that masturbates to their superior design well they can eat a fat dick cause its horrible. Everything this fucking company does makes me waste my time. Add a fucking notch to their displays, retarded app store process, makes you workaround to install latest OS on older machines, hide options in convoluted interface, everything, make you feel like your 12 again and living with your parents. fuck them. fuck apple fan boys. fuck tim cook. fuck kids that jack off to iphones fuck you if you own a macbook and drink at starbucks . this is the last fucking ios app I ever make. bye

In my 1st semester, they taught us C++ basics
In my 2nd semester, they didn't teach us shit about CS.
In my 3rd semester, they taught us C basics
In my 4th semester, they taught us Java basics
In my 5th semester, they are teaching us Scratch and Python basics

Can you be fucking done with basics already for fuck sake? I'm a fucking Front End Developer here interning with companies and getting paid whilst I pay a fucking huge sum as college fee and learn fucking basics I knew back in high school? And you're teaching me Scratch, what the fuck is wrong with you; kids in pre-school are taught scratch. Fuck you education system, India!

Which countries should I consider for my post grad?
I'm so fucking done here.

Working from home in 2020:

Both kids haven't interrupted me in an unusually long time.... That likely means they're up to no good.

On the other hand I'm getting a lot of coding done (bunch of fixes done / misc new tasks done).

So now I sort of do a little mental math to guess if the damage they might be doing is less than the value of me getting shit done for work....

>be me
>graduate
>find job with a start-up
>offer me 1% share as signup bonus
>why the hell not
>make 50 dollars/hour
>lowkey they didn't give me any real work
>only had to write some simple ass JS functions for the website
>asked boss to work from home
>he accepted
>tfw i get paid to play games, watch tv shows and write the occasional shitty ass piece of code for 50 dollars/hour
>that's about 1 AAA game/hour

Stay in school. Get your degree, kids.

Am 23, I plan to have 4 kids in the future.

This will be their first names
1. Ruby - Female name
2. Pearl - Female name
3. Haskell - Male name
4. Python - Last born. Most loved. But am sure he will hate me for his name😂😂

All I need is a wife now or a girlfriend could do🤔...

So Scratch is well crazy ass stupid, but for kids this is freaky awesome for a simple game builder that gets them interested.

This thing took like 10 minutes to make 😂

Move the witch with arrow keys and score points for catching the Ghouls.

I am not a smart man.
Usually when I abandon project, I abandon it hard. Delete every trace of this failure, it never happened.

Well my friend doesn't, and two weeks ago he applied for a job as a game dev, and in resume he showed all of his work. Even the ones so barely functional that I wouldn't feel comfortable showing to my most compassionate friend. Somehow, he got it.

So for the past two weeks I've done nothing other than painstakingly recreating most of my projects in order to apply for the position before it fills.

Save your projects kids, no matter how crap they are. One man's trash is another man's treasure.

So I teach a Lego mindstorms class to 5th graders for fun on my spare time. My other classes the kids usually seek me out for any programming questions but this one class of rambunctious boys would always say they're fine when I offered to help and then when they thought I wasn't looking would ask the male teacher or would pretend to listen to my explanation to not hurt my feelings. Finally my co worker told the guys "you know guys she went to school to program she does this for a living full time when she's not here. **room goes silent** In fact she's way better at programming then me". The whole room the boys mouths were open and one kid actually said noooo. We blew those kids minds. Most quiet day of class we've ever had after that.

Today I saw a stupid kid at a hardware Facebook group saying that the Core i7 is for laptop and the Core i5 is for desktop...and the worst part is that he thinks he's right. OMG what this kids have in their heads this days...

My wife is a teacher doing a technology course that includes basic coding for middle schoolers (11-13 year olds). While she admittedly would make a terrible developer, she just spent her own money on 30+ finger puppets so the kids could practice rubber duck debugging. Maybe something did rub off on her!

When I was 10 years old, all kids at my school got access to school emails. The email address book contained everything in my city, like fire department, all pupils of all schools etc. So I decided to "test" the system by sending out a mass email to everyone in the address book (about 3k) with the question "Hi, how are you?".

The sys admins apparently didn't think very far as I got some responses saying like "You have crashed a server in the capital city" and "I have contacted your local IT admin".

So I went to the IT admin and told him the situation. His face turned red of anger and I remember him almost screaming at me.

Who the fuck doesn't set up protection for this and gives out access to 10 year olds? This was 15 years ago, I really hope sys admins are smarter today!

It wasn't my curiosity that introduced me to programming. Actually, it was my mother.

It was about six years ago, when I'd told her I'd like to make video-games, like all kids do. She didn't just nod and go about her way. She found a free course that taught programming to kids my age and immediately enrolled me. Looking back, it was surely the best thing she'd done for me, because it gave me a purpose and a future to look forward to.

The course was interesting. We learned the basics of C++, then moved on to harder topics like algorithms and data types. But more and more, I was beginning to feel left behind. Like I didn't belong there. It didn't help that I only programmed on the course, with no practice back home.

I felt scared of the future. Thought I didn't have what it takes to become a programmer. I might have broken the last straw when I started playing truant and went to McDonald's to pass the time. Because every time I did go to the course, I felt stupid and anxious. So I simply skipped.

Time passed. I got more depressed, became more antisocial, my self-esteem took a nosedive. And when it comes to depression, people always seek an escape path.

I got my escape in fiction. Started reading books, tried writing stories, and it got to the point where I asked my mother if I could become a writer and not a programmer.

And guess what? She said, "Do what brings you happiness. This is your life."

It's funny, that such a silly line stopped and got me to think. Turned out, I didn't program for fun, for myself or for my career. I'd done it for my parents, for their expectations and I was scared that in failing, I'd become a loser in their eyes.

I dropped out of the programming course. Not because it sucked, but because I wasn't going there for myself, but for my parents. But I didn't quit programming. No, I watched countless tutorials, youtube videos, browsed StackOverflow, read some books, coded every day, and now I can say without hesitation, that I love programming. I'm hooked. And I don't want to stop.

If you've read this so far, I'm sorry for my rambling. I will now leave you with only one tip: If you decided to do something, do it for yourself. Forget about parents, expectations, career, future, time or money and do it only because you want to. Because nothing else matters. Only your happiness.

Started this machine for the first time after 18 years!!

IBM R51 (32 bit single core Pentium M), 1gb RAM, 40gb old mechanical hdd.

Installed Ubuntu 12 (32 bit from old iso) , installed some educational software to teach mouse n keyboard (my daughter is good in touchscreen on ipad), she is getting hang of mouse so quick, amazed how fast kids learn, wish I could be so fast too.

So, my wife is in the hospital with two of the kids for an annual checkup. Should be nothing to worry about but still it's stressful and I want to be there.

I'd booked the day off (until the end of the week) and last week I got told, you've taken too many holidays, just the Friday is approved.

Ok, fine, I'll do some extra hours work from home and be there for the appointment. But fuck no, they schedule an "important" client meeting this morning and I'm required to attend.

TWO FUCKING HOURS and I contributed a sum total of 2 sentences which could have been filled in just as well by the other developer on the call

Just another reason I'm happy to be interviewing at other companies.

I am old enough to go to jail.
I am old enough to have my own household.
I am old enough to pay my own bills.
I am old enough to have children.
I am old enough to take responsibility for my hypothetical kids and for my self.
I am old enough to gamble, drink and lease cars.
I am a self confident dude who took responsibility for creating machines that were worth millions.
And so on and so on..

But hey, it is ok if the fucking teacher at technical school treats you like a 16 yo pubescent child. Im glad he is interested whether i do my god damn homework. And yes, it is totally fine for me, that im getting treated like a unworthy dog who needs surveillance.
So, maybe i should suggest that we should ask for permission if we want to go to fucking toilet. Yes. That would be great. Gonna do that.

I was once at my uncle's 40th birthday party and bored to hell, so he gave me a book that was supposed to be "Python for kids". I started reading it and soon fell in love with programming.
Since then I've often learned new programming languages by reading books or lately mostly the internet.
My books here should be in chronological order:

I have my best moments but the first time I felt badass about computers was when I was at kindergarten.

There was one computer with one cool game with skateboard. I wanted to play but the other kids didn’t let me.

I thought that if it look like I fix the computer they will let me. I took me month or little more but I made shutdown bat(I didn’t really understood fully) and I added it to the game shortcut from usb.

One of the other kids started the game and the computer turned itself off. Hi tried a few times and then I offered to fix it, I created new shortcut replacing the “hacked” one and the game ran.

From that moment the computer and the game were always free for me.

10 years ago, I found a vulnerability in the connection between an insurer I was working for, and the network of databases of municipalities. I was only a hacker in so far as kids who watched Hak5 are considered hackers, so I always carried this laptop with a fake access point, package sniffer, wep crack, sslstrip, etc with me.

The vulnerabilities allowed me to register a new identity, for which I requested a passport.

Walking up to the town hall desk with two passports with different names, both mine, was pretty cool.

I did not do anything malicious, and was hired to fix the issues (wep encryption on insurers trusted wifi, and municipality postgres gave write access to all third parties)

For a few days I was the coolest kid in school though!

The awkwardly embarrassing moment when you realise your junior, a fresher out of college, knows more than you... Shittt... Why kids are so fucking smart these days!!! I'm looking for a place where I can go and just hide from the world. If you know one, please help.

Why the fuck cant people keep their hands to them selves???
I had a fucking moron come up to my desk, say "cool toy!", grab it and play with it.
For him that was fine....

I on the other hand wanted to stub that mother fucker to death and feed his organs to his kids.

That mother fucker grubbed my probe holder, shorted out an 8k$ evb and failed my 12 hours hardware test.

WWDC was not about developers this year. It was a conference call with shareholders and investors. No bold moves, just several consecutive "this product will no longer suck" and "look at what you can do now, big companies" announcements.

watchOS will work now (it's too slow ATM). tvOS will just be less cumbersome. macOS still lagging behind (I mean, I already have great third party apps that clean my hard drive, but thank you for solving a problem I didn't need fixing). iOS 10 is simply about messages (it's not going to make me ditch Telegram, because it doesn't have an Android client, regardless of how large you make emoticons appear on screen). Apple Music will still suck, especially if you have more than one Apple ID. And Apple Maps will continue to be useless outside of the US.

Where did the bold moves go? Where's the "we're breaking up iTunes into several distinct apps that serve their purposes really well"? (Guess iTunes is too valuable a trademark...) Where is the "we will end the WKView vs UIView vs NSView nonsense"? (You know, OOP is about creating classes, which are abstractions and whose instances deal with the particularities of their environment; a View is a View, regardless of where they live; an instance of a View should care about being on a watch or on a phone, not the developer.) Where is the "we love indie developers and will help you"? They showed off a lot of integration with well established apps, that don't really need to stand out any more. They showed that video of "normal people" who have developed apps, but no one knows about them! And then they changed the AppStore so you can pay to advertise your app, but who has the means to do that? Indie devs are surely on a tight budget, so who's that helping again?

For me, this WWDC was sugar coated with a "we love you developers" BS, but was a business statement to large companies ("see what you can do now Uber, Lyft, WeChat, WhatsApp, Doordash, all the P2P payment apps, ESPN, WSJ and so on?"). It's already a known fact that the bulk of the AppStore revenue goes to the top 1% apps. And what's the point of having tvOS be open to developers if it is very unlikely I'll ever develop anything for it unless I work at CBS?

It's great that they want to make it easier for kids to learn Swift. But there's very little point in that, if those kids' apps aren't going to be used and are simply going to make the "we have 2 million apps on the AppStore" announcement look shinier for shareholders. Without a strong indie community, the Swift Playgrounds app for the iPad is just manufacturing workers for large corporations.

And without a strong indie community, things get tougher for indie clients as well. Who will have the money (and therefore the time) to implement all those integrations in order to even dream about competing with heavily funded apps?

Yeah... So thanks, Apple, but no thanks.

I really love to share my knowledge and I have a opportunity to teach kids coding as a lector. I even switched my f-ing theme to light for them so they can see the board (they're already saying light theme sucks, I love them). Maybe it's only html/css but they're learning so fast even though they're just bunch of 12-13yo Minecraft kids 😂 I'm myself only 17 but I can see the "age gap" between us, I'm getting old...

We've been trying to hire a greenhorn, fresh-faced intern from India for like a month now.
Plenty of applicants, most with very nice curriculums, a few even can think on their feet while grilled by my questions.
I've sent to talk to HR three almost college-graduating candidates, who convinced me they know the subject of data engineering enough to be working with me and that they are actually gonna do the tasks assigned.

The fucking tweep at HR, an old fart who I had to convince that HVAC maintenance is not the job of the IT department nor the data team, calls my approved candidates "too junior".
WTF, I ask. - "Not professional enough", says the human toad.
Yes, they are to be interns! - "But they do not show professionalism", answered the hag.
Yes they do! They were very professional on the interviews! - "That is for me to say!" barked the reptile.

A week pass by while I try to find more just as good candidates who are also "more professional" when the hag has the audacity to say "here, I found someone. He knows everything about computer things and is very professional".
I took like 20 seconds to find out that the kid she'd given my number to, and was now messaging me IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING NIGHT, was her niece's fiancee and wasn't even in uni! He was just a high school graduate!
Seriously, nepotism kids, delete your Instagrams, tiktoks and every single piece of social media.

I scaled the issue to my VP, who contacted the HR VP for India, who gave the worst possible excuse for her behaviour: "She knows nothing about computer things!" for what my own boss said "so why was she assigned to oversee the data team's new hires?!". The HR slug mumbled something and then doubled down with "well, the kids you sent her were all girls! she had never hired a girl to a technical position, she wouldn't know what to look for in an interview!"

What. The. Fuck.
My boss, my VP of a very strategic technical area, happens to be a woman who lives in a place where women's rights are for real. I had *never* heard she swear on a non-football-related context. She did. Loudly. On camera. As if the HR boss was a referee who just disallowed a goal for her team due to an very ambiguous forward pass.

Shit is still flowing, but it seems that the hiring process of the entire company is being restructured because of that.
I guess I've just sped up this process in about one hundred years?

Ok so I started doing Minecraft development because why not and it's super easy to jack the prices up on projects...

THEESE COMMUNITIES ARE SO TOXIC!! I have worked on ~ 13 servers in the past month and have built myself a pretty good reputation. Recently I was hired by a network who wanted a few plugins made and I agreed. There were two owners, one who was paying me and had already paid me and paid for everything and another who is a very popular YouTuber and streamer (~100k subs). Both owners were in a disagreement and the one who was paying for everything including my second paycheck which I thankfully recieved requested that I erased the server so the YouTuber couldn't steal the server files.

I hesitantly copied the files and sent them to the person paying me. The YouTuber then got furious and blamed the server not working out on me and now I have a bunch of 8 year old fan boys destroying my rep. I swear to god I'm going to destroy this kids YouTube channel if it's the last thing I do.

Never underestimate the power of a decent chair!

Was staying at friend's for a couple weeks with a horrible chair - my back just spasmed so hard that I am physically unable to get up from bed. Thank god for devRant to keep me occupied throughout the night.

Stay safe kids

Fuck off you disturbed snowflakes with your SJW bullshit.

I get it, words cause damage, but words taken out of context for emotional self pity is on you.

Ok I expressed my feelings on the matter, see you next year for the next round!

I had a co worker who was a bit of a robot with little to none tact or social skills (let's call him Bob Bot). Once, we had one of those company events where pointy haired boss had the cringe worthy idea of having everyone share an "unusual secret" about themselves as a team building exercise.

"So Bob Bot, what is your secret?"

Bob (in the same tone you would use to deliver the weather forecast): "So for those who don't know yet, I am polyamorous. This means that I have multiple sex partners at the same time."

(Dead silence in the room)

Bob: "Oh but wait...she gets to have multiple sex partners as well!"

And that kids, was a great example of gender equality!

Worst hackaton? The one when i realized too late i was stuck with a bunch of kids bragging about being "devs" because they knew how to download an html template for wordpress 😭

I don't always listen to music while coding, but when I do, it's because things are absolutely unmitigably fucked and it's going to take some herculean effort to unfuck it.

I have this thing I've done for more years than my kids have been alive when shit really hits the fan and I need to show the staff the old lady can still lay waste.

Step 1: put on "the playlist," which consists of only the most aggressive 90s marilyn manson songs.*
Step 2: put on the headphones, which are noise cancelling and super bassy
Step 3: pound a monster (blue, obv)
Step 4: get super manic
Step 5: get in the zone and destroy several features or a flotilla of bugs in a single night
Step N: make absolute fucking magic
Step N+1: call in sick the next day and sleep til noon

What's your hero process?

*Content has less to do with it than the headspace I've come to associate with it and the fact I can't get drowsy with the constant aggression.

FREE!!!! At last, my kids are out for the whole day!!!!!!!
No more nagging, crying, bitching from them while I'm in the zone!!!!

FREE!!!!!!!!

Eid Mubarak everyone. For those who are not familiar with Eid, we have two Eids in a year, this Eid is called Eid Al fitr, which is the celebration day after 30 days of fasting in Ramadan. In this day everyone celebrates by wearing new dresses and visiting their relatives and friends. Also kids get 'Eidiyah', which could an amount of money or candies.

Secret job interview tomorrow, I've had it with this place and it keeps getting worse. Today they took away the last thing that made it liveable and forced me to have 5 hour longer days for the forseeable future. 3 of them with no extra pay.
I have kids I barely get to see today with longer days I will never see them.
Fuck this, I'm out.

Why the fuck do people care about age so much?
Unlike other activities, you can be 15 years old and be as good as a senior dev, so why the fuck do you need to degrade me because you found out my age?
I still deliver the promised work, so what the fuck?

As for kids who try to get recognition because they're young and program, well, fuck you too!

Programming isn't about age or maturity, since in this age of tech, anyone can pick up a computer and an internet connection and learn, so why do you feel that younger individuals have less capabilities?

I just had to get that out of me since it pisses me off a fuck load.

In college we were assigned to groups for a semester long project. One of the guys in my group made it abundantly clear that he had been programming far longer than the rest of us and that this project was beneath him. On the other hand, at my school the program for graphic design and development shared many core classes that required programming knowledge. It was common to encounter students who had no experience at all even in intermediate level courses. Fast forward to the end of the semester right before finals. We are working on this project together and one of my team members accidentally creates a directory in the wrong folder(graphic design student). So the experienced guy, who had become convinced that we were only slowing him down, tells him to just type "rm -rf /". Everything on this poor kids whole hard drive...gone. Design projects due the next week all deleted. He ended up having to retake a few of the courses simply because that dude was a dick.

I have teens in my classroom who want elite hacker status but complain about doing programming exercises outside of class. >.<

I explain to them that learning to code takes a lot of practice and can be frustrating at first. Some still went to the dean complaining that my class is tough. I work at a private school where open communication is encouraged and social justice is a thing.

So, I'm over here like "How do I reach these kids?"

I'm optimistic and I try different approaches to teaching and learning. Some stuff has worked. A lot haven't.

I figure I'd ask here: Does anyone have a suggestion for any creative programming exercises/projects that are beginner-friendly, legal, and hacker-ish? (I teach intro to Java.)

I teach kids (7-12 years) to programming. Yesterday my colleague had the last class for this semester, where parents joined their kids to see what they done. They were presenting their projects, and a guy whose father is really strict with him, saw what variable names his son was using. Some of it (censored) are: "d*ck", "p*ssy", "f*ck". The guy is really scared of his father, because he's agressive with him all the time. I don't want to know what was his punishment for this.

My company got another contract to support a research institute. My current contract has shitty leadership that won't back us against our boss (different company, same contract) without proof. The fact that 3 of the 4 of us dread going to work isn't enough?

Anyways. Talking to the other site about transferring. Need to gtfo to a less toxic environment where I won't be made to work fucked up hours with a boss who doesn't like women in tech, and thinks he's something special because he's vegan (but had real leather jackets and bike seats, but that's an entirely different story) and does yoga and plays the guitar.

Meanwhile, he resents his kids and seems to regret getting married. All because he used his military education benefits to pay for their school.

First junior software dev job, asked what I wanted for hourly pay, replied “I need at least $13/hour to survive.” (This is in US, 2007, I was almost done with Bachelor in CS, single mom with two little kids, was also in the army national guard at the time)

I grew up poor, and was very ignorant about salary negotiations. So of course they offered $13/hour. I accepted, thinking it must be fair, and was glad to be making more than minimum wage. Six months in, I’m doing the same work as their devs with 2-4 years experience, find out they are billing clients $100/hour for my work. Then, to top it off, the COO makes a joke in a meeting about how it’s not a big deal for their “technical assistant” to be doing lackey work because he’s only paid $13. Fuuuuuuuuck. That comment still makes my blood boil.

I had a nice manager at the time that explained how salary negotiations worked, but I still think it’s lame as hell. I ended up getting put on salary, $50k/year, after threatening to leave.

"Sooo, children of the village, what are we going to write front-end in?" - I said to my infant students.
"Typescript with ts-loader/awesometypescript loader for webpack" - simultaneously yelled the kids.
"Exactly! Brilliant! And now, what are we going to be writing back-end in?" - asked I then.
The kids yelled: "PHP 7.2 with Laravel, or Go with Gingonic and juliensmith/httprouter, or Typescript without loader, with express/koa"
Truly stunned with their excellence, I asked "Well, now you 100% ain't gonna get it right - what are we going to be writing a desktop application that doesn't require a lot of native functionality and preferably, cross-platform in?" And the kids didn't hesitate to yell happily "Typescript targeting Electron", which has only brought tear to my eye.
"A native ms windows app?" "WPF under C#"
"A native gtk app?" "Vala"
"A native KDE/XFCE app?" "Cpp/Qt"
"A native mac app?" "Swift3.2/4"
I was in tears, just thinking about what future these kids have, but suddenly I have noticed one of kids seemed puzzled. It was Pajeet, an indian guy, ugh, his mom was a bitch. I asked him "What is wrong, little acoustic?" "But I like Java, and I would like to make back-end with Tomcat!" he replied. "Ooooh :3" cutely I moaned, trying to reach the handle of the table locker "I've got something just for you". I pulled out a rope, with sewed-in spikes, covered in drool and piss, came up to Pajeet and tenderly put it around his neck, making a knot. Pajeet fell under the table, and I got fired.

Today I volunteered for an iOS event to help people get started with Xcode and swift. Granted, I only volunteered because my gf is part of this startup and the pay was 50 bucks ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The fucking stupid organizer (has no idea what programming is) thought it would be a good idea to have a gaming section where people can play video games. Well stupid fucking fortnite had everyone's attention, and only a little group of people was interested in participating in the workshop (build an iOS game from scratch) that my gf worked her ass off to create.

Also, fuck trying to teach programming to kids.

My son is remote learning, 5th grade.

When the teacher calls on one of the student's named Alexa and asks a question... some kids with Alexa devices in their house get the answer for free....

I. HATE. HUMANS!
A family of four lurking side by side on an already extremely small sidewalk? Stop reproducing or I will start kicking your fucking kids in front of the next truck.
Ignoring the traffic laws as a biker and almost crashing into me because you just didn't care for the traffic light? Fuck you! Next time I see you I will stick a steel rod in between your spokes so you fly into the next cars window.
Randomly and spontaneously stoping on the sidewalk while I am at my top walking speed? Next time I will just run you over. With a bulldozer. And than again in reverse. I just don't get people, I guess.

My preciousssss!!

Fucking assholes! Just spent 3h debugging for bugs that weren't there.. Our client insisted we must rollback the whole update, because gui was broken.. after analysing data & testing I figure out that there must be something 'wrong' as there was no data to copy from in the first place...so there should be no bug..
Aaand here goes the best part: they didn't want to point out missing data bug, they just wanted one restriction to be removed, because it 'broke GUI', to allow for empty value on save... WTF?! How can you insist that gui is buggy & that you don't want an update, if you just want something to be optional?! Which was done immediately, one change in one js file?! Dafaaaaaq?!

Kids, English is important!! Otherwise you end up debugging ghosts for 3+ hours withou a cigarette...and waking up a coworker with bad news of rollback at half to midnight... Aaaaaaaargh!!!
сука блять 

A kid that went to my daughter's preschool class died (they are in the 3-4 years old range)

The parents still don't know what their kid died from some virus.

They said the kid became braindead so I'm guessing meningitis?

Meanwhile we're pretty scared, and unsure if we should keep sending our kid.

I'm very disappointed in the way the school handled this, like no quarantine, no fucking notice on our kid's book about how they're going to deal with this.

Fucking piece of shit school.

Everyone on the whatsapp group is sad, saying religious shit. Hello!!!! Can I know what this kid died from so my kids don't die too????

I feel sad for the parents and the kid but... everyone is reacting in a very stupid way to this.

Like no one's gonna even fucking ask if this kid went to class this week and potentially passed it to other kids?

Fuck this dumbass mediocre country.

A fucking rant to me from myself.
I want to take control of my life. I want to fucking change my life. Want to move my lazyass and want to work on myself. Want to build awesome stuff want to help others want to change something for good. Want to learn new stuffs want to learn new skills want to travel want to go see new place want to know about other countries and learn about their culture and want to tell them "we are fucking humans stop finding stupid reason to hate each other for literally any fucking small reasons. Stop fighting yes there are bad guys, really fucking bad guys who deserves to die. Then kill them and finish the matter stop fucking keep making complicated and keep involving more and more. There are little kids who keep dying and need our helps it's feel so helpless sometimes and we sitting on sofa eating popcorn and complying about government there are kids in every country who don't even fortunate enough to have basic human needs and there are people who fucking throw food over there mood. A fucking Mood. Gosh I hate people sometimes so much.
Don't know why fucking writing all this on a Devrant supposed to talk about our devshit but couldn't control more.
A introvert don't got many friends to talk this shit and most of them worrying about there Instagram followers fuck this shit .
And here I am fucking trying really hard to pass on fucking useless boring exams for fucking degree which doesn't speck about your skills or show to the world anything besides you are good at memorizing shit.

I've been encountering a problem in my personal projects code weeks.
fast forward to today, and i'm sat enduring a wedding.
Out of no where the soultion hits me and I spend the next 25 minutes running round asking for napkins, so I can write the soultion on said napkins with a kids crayon.

Work. Never. Stops.

Once I've worked in a start-up located in an engineering university "incubator", so we had a lot of engineer-to-be students applying for part-time jobs.
One of these kids was hired by my boss who labeled him "highly technical, very skilled in IT".

One day, while very busy with my own upcoming release, I had to help him finding a bug in his (horrible) code.

Me: Oh, that's easy, you need to load the image from the parent directory
Guy: ...
Me: You know how to do this, right? You're 1 exam away from being a computer engineer
Guy: ...
Me: Ok, ok, don't worry. Just type "../" right before the path

The guy starts typing, literally, "dotdotslash" into the path.

I immediately stopped him, almost crying. Then, I asked him to go for a walk.
"Don't mind about your bug, I'll take care"

Am I really unlucky, or are juniors these days all lazy af and such pampered babies that need hand holding all the time?
So back when I was a junior, when I wanted to learn something new, I would ask for some pointers from my seniors, could be an article, a video or even a book. From there I would look up further knowledge, play with the idea in my machine. If I couldn't understand something, or if I needed a better explanation of something, I would go back to my senior, but it was really rare.
Then comes this modern day, I'm the senior now and I'm in charge of mentoring a bunch of kids, who would treat me like their personal chatgpt. "Hey Junior #0, this is something you may want to read to help your next ticket, let me know if you have difficulty". Next day junior #0 would come back and say "I don't understand, the article mentioned X but I don't know how to do X. Can you show me how to do X?". Bro, no one knows how to do X after being born, just google "how to do X" and it gives you the fucking answer. Why the fuck do you have to circle back to me because of this. Junior #1 would refuse to read any articles longer than 250 words, and require constant 1-1 meetings to give him personal lectures. Dude this is not a class room, grow the fuck up! Junior #3 would write the messiest code possible despite my efforts to introduce tons of resources, then complain "why I'm still junior, how do I grow". Bro maybe if you learned half of what I sent you, you would have gotten promote by now. Fucking lazy kids these days!
Oh I can't fire these juniors. Top management was very clear that "we don't have budget to hire other devs for you, it's your responsibility to train them better".

Holy shit why can't you just work. Stop talking about your kids from 9 am to 5pm with the orther person sitting next to you who clearly wants to get some work done.

Also, good on you for baking a cake and your kid saying this is the best cake. Every kid says that to your parent.

FFS, shut up and work, and let people around you work.

P.S. I need good headphones, preferably in ear wireless buds. I'm waiting for Pixel Buda 2.

A good friend of mine turned 38 yesterday. It will be his last birthday. Last month was his last Christmas and New Years. He entered hospice care this month. His doctors have said he's only got a few weeks left, so he's come off the treatment for his brain tumour. His kids are old enough to understand he won't be here much longer. A bunch of us, friends from high school, flew up to see him in the fall. It's hard to believe someone our age won't be with us to see another year. It puts things in perspective.

one of my kids has a sleep problem, night terrors.

she wakes up in the middle of the night and just screams and says nonsensical shit.

we live in an apartment and our understanding old pieces of shit neighbors have complained already in the past.

no matter what you do, she'll increase the intensity every minute. you can hug, you can sing, you can ignore, you can try to soothe. She'll still screamcry.

We also have a 8 month old that obviously reacts by crying.

So imagine that, you're there, calmly sleeping, well into your deep sleep, and suddenly a symphony of pain and suffering visits you, and destroys your emotions in a couple of minutes.

I'm not even fully conscious to adjust. It just strikes me really hard.

I think it's a 6 in the scale of mental pain for me.

Anyhow, other people have a higher threshold, this is my experience.

The manager and selfperceived omnipotent cult leader was the worst kind of businessman. Slimey and trecherous, zero sense of ethics, but felt holier than the pope because he "helped" his weakling herd of piteous employees.

These employees were smart kids, most of them in their late teens. All of them legally disabled. There was this kid who gobbled up ritalin like candy, a boy who had received his measles shots and turned socially awkward (/s), a chubby girl who could name all the hex colors of her chocolate stained shirt... you know, what we call skilled developers in the industry.

Fiftyfive of them.

They were awesome, awkward highschool dropouts, like I had been a decade earlier. They worked 50h a week. They had great humor, were passionate, devoured information about new technologies, and they built custom websites from scratch in no time. I had to lead this flock, and felt honored to work with them.

Then things started to smell funny.

I discovered all 55 of their workstations ran pirated software, from Windows to Adobe CS. I'm not without sin in that regard, but as a company it's just plain stupid.

Clients were treated like shit. I mean, we all feel like punching a client in the face sometimes, but I'm taking about unjustified debt collections paired with death threats.

Then I found out these kids were often disappearing for a few months, only to return months later.

I started digging, and discovered they were all working reintegration internships (because they were on below minimum wage disability payments), at almost zero cost to my employer.

After 6 months, my boss gave them a negative recommendation, they were all too "sick" to function in normal jobs.

Then they were rotated to a shadow company, doing the same work for another 6 months, and so on to a third company.

He broke these kids, talked them down, made them feel worthless. He threatened the ones who understood what was happening.

I ended up bringing the company down, with the CEO and two government officials jailed for fraud and corruption.

Some employees were quite mad about it, at least at first — I was the shepherd who abandoned his sheep. Luckily, most found better paid positions in no time.

Truly one of the most fucked up and difficult situations I've been in.

I have three sons 5 and under. I made them email addresses I intend for them to use as they age the other day. I used their first initial, last name and the last two digits of their years of birth. In binary. Poor kids. They never had a chance.

Boss came in with new project:
boss shows me the design
me: it's a wordpress website ?
boss: client wants it with prestashop
me: but the brief is for an ecommerce website with 2 categories and a blog, wordpress with woocommerce and a blog should be enought
boss: no, client wants it with prestashop

oh I forgot, client wants it in a shared hosting server, where I can't add php extensions

started the project, fucked my weekend with anxiety and depression, and then products list came in ... 15 product

me: ok, I need to get the fuck out quick

I quit, I sleep at night, I smile with my kids ...

My ideal dev job...working for a charity that creates free tech solutions for primary schools and children to promote safety and learning. One app I have in mind is a resource for victims of bullying, and another is an integrated Virtual Learning Environment that truly provides pupils and teachers with the tools they need and want.

Basically I want to make a positive impact on the lives of children and make that available to everyone, not just the schools who can afford it.

That awkward moment when you can't figure out the shortest solution in the Google Code For Kids doodle thingy.

!rant - Story:

I got accepted to the university of Osnabrück!

Finally! I've had a though time.
After kindergarten kids went to primary school while I had to go to a place called "Vorschule". Kids with disabilities go there. I, for one, was not physically disabled. I was psychologically disabled.
My German was not that good. My native language is Turkish. I had to spend 1 or 2 years there, before I was able to attend the primary school like the normal kids.

In the primary school a few teachers started making racist comments. I didn't really understand them, but my father did. After 2 years of attending that school, I switched to another primary school and continued with everything there.

In the secondary school (comprehensive school) I got bullied a lot. I was getting racist comments on a daily basis. Even by some teachers. Whereas some other teachers were showing it indirectly.

In the same school a teacher made me get a bad grade in one subject on purpose. Thus I got a bad certificate. Not the certificate I deserved.

I spent a year in economics after the secondary school. I was in a vocational school. I didn't like it, because I wasn't really interested in economics.

"Why did you choose that then?" you might ask. That's a legitimate question.

I didn't get accepted in anything related to informatics.

Anyways, I got bullied there, too. Physically beaten by trouble makers in my class and mentally by a french teacher.
He told me that I will not be able to get my certification that allows me to attend a university after me telling him that I will change the school and try it again in informatics. Several times.

I was in the new vocational school after that one. It was very stressful.
I, again, got bullied there. But this time not by the kids, but by some abusive teachers and directors.

One of them was a racist moron. My ex-PE teacher. He someday told me that I won't be able to achieve anything in my life.

I was always naive and kind of let all these words destroy my future plans in my head, but I had a little bit of hope nonetheless.

Today, I got a letter in which it was written that I got accepted to the university of Osnabrück!

Omg! I'm so fucking happy! I could explode! (A lil racist pun)

Wtf bs is this? Can't governments just stop trying to control the internet?

It's literally the closest thing we have to a free and fair society on the planet and that's with all the tracking and abuse of information going on. I think we need to start applying our minds to creating a decentralised network with p2p discovery routed through our phones if we want to keep any semblance of freedom of speech or privacy around for our kids. Routing traffic wouldnt use more than 50-100mb of ram and would probably use a lot less battery than Google does listening to our conversations or transmiting our location data so we wouldn't even notice. If only we could find a cable free decentalized way to get data across the ocean no one would be able to control it again, I doubt we would be able to shut it down either.

To people who have done tech support:

Shoot me. Do you know what it is like to teach kids to use a mouse? Or even type in a keyboard? They don’t even know how to double click. Gotta call google chrome the circle of colors for them to understand. Some think the video that is giving the instructions is actually them doing it. So when it ends they are like alright done.

FYI: working in an internship currently where we teach kindergarten up until 5th graders from scratch to Minecraft modding. Btw it is an unpaid internship.

So ive been messing around with my Google Home.. because having a voice activated weather station is cool and all, but as a developer it needs to be useful no?... and Raspberry Pi, cause you know, we cool kids have those sitting around doing nothing useful.

But back on track, getting these two to actually work together, and that almighty moment you can say "Hey Google, Deploy Project -X- to the Pi" and the Rpi just kicks into gear and pulls down the latest master branch from Gitlab for the correct project is mind boggling.

No more ssh + sudo git pull !!!

Disclaimer: i didn't pay for that Google Home, but its in my house, listening to my TV, so i may as well use the damn thing.

There's this insurance chain in the US that says its goal is to save America $500 million, so for their ads they ask a bunch of kids what they'd do with $500 million. What they neglect to mention...

Just wanted to leave a little encouragement that can be hard to find on a 'rant' board: As a 40 year old dev doing this for 16 or more years... I'm not jaded, I still have a burning enthusiasm for software dev, I'm lucky to be able to pursue this career. Have I been in some shitty situations and health damaging levels of stress? Yes at times, and I've ranted about them here. This career isn't an easy ride, ultimately there's a reason it's well paid - for all of its physical ease it's mentally and often emotionally hard. But, I still find the highs match the lows, there's still thrill in the chase to make the project and product work right. Only advice I would give is be prepared to shift down a career gear for a while when you have kids. That shit is hard. Keep having fun people, we work with machines that extend and force-multiply our minds, what a time to be alive!

Anybody's a father here? My 10 months kid is giving me hard times waking at 2am and not going to sleep till 4am (it is 4 now, here). That's a really repeating problem. I'm loosing my focus at work, tired after few hours of coding, couldnt mange to learn after hours. Makes me frustrated. My PM understands situation (actually he have 5 kids!), tries to help. But can't figure it out how to overcome this. Any ideas fellow dads in code? To make it clear - I really love my son, but if I'll fail to keep my level at job I could loose it one day, don't feel like beeing able to find new decent job with current exhaust level. Also I'm the only one who makes money in our lil family, loosing job for too long means loosing the roof under the head for all three of us. My wife is barely living after beeing there for son whole day, so please dont point at her. Our kid is really demanding on attention and love, and thats like a sweet poison. Love kills.

There's nothing like sitting on the edge of your seat when you see a monster batch of records get sent updates.

This system was built 5 years ago and it's "peak" batch size has been < 400 records in a day, it usually sits around < 100.

It's not a big system and just runs in the background. So yea small numbers for this guy.

today though, I thought something fell down and shit its self, someone decided to add a a few thousand records to this thing and update a fuck tonne of data (for this system anyway)😬

The damn thing is standing it's ground and churning, but fuck, the scale of things is beyond what we ever thought it would have to deal with at any one time.

Build for the insane benchmarks kids, one day... someone's going to drop an elephant on it.

Manager: Can you stay late as fuck today? One of our bitchiest vendors is gonna update their piece of crap and I'm pretty damn sure shit is gonna hit the fan

Dev (inner voice): no fucking way, I have kids to watch and chores to do!
Dev (outer voice): can't we just check everything in the morning?

Manager: No fucking way! If there is some fucking "challenge" when our "people" try to log onto their shit, I'm gonna look like a chump!
Let's talk silvers, I will sign on that bloody commie bullshit for your hours tonight.

Dev (outer voice): Fine. Until how late?
Dev (inner voice): Wait, I was supposed to do it without getting overtime bonus?

I know it's not a story and also not a joke or meme but then also I want to share it because this gives me goose bumps

This photo won award for best photo and led the photographer into depression.

The cheetahs chased the mother deer and her 2 fawns(baby deers), the mother could've easily outrun cheetahs but instead she offered herself to cheetahs so that her kids can manage to run safety.

In this picture she is looking at her babies running safely as she is about to get torn into pieces.

She is about to get torn to pieces but she is dosen't look a bit hesitated.
That's mother for you!!

I thought searching for Rust answers was slightly annoying, with that stupid survival game poisoning the search results.

But trying to find answers about C programming is definitely worse.

You can make fun of the Javascript kids with their silly flutterbutt, ultrasauce and wrinklesack library names, but at least it gives clear search results.

So I got a ring doorbell for my father in law. Of course I'm setting it up for them and their WiFi is not working, they lost the router password etc..

So Im in the middle of ... reset the router added new password new ssid new wep-key etc..

Mom in law is over my shoulder "wow you are really good at this technology stuff. You should get a job with a company".

I kid you not I have been married to her daughter for 21 years WTF 🤬

So I'm like I do work for a company. My company and I get paid much more than anyone else would pay me. That how I could take your daughter and our kids to Hawaii for vacation.😠

Typos kill, kids! And deploying to production.

Instead of "for item in items" in my script, I accidentally did "for items in items". Thus, an exponential loop has been entering things into the database for the past few hours before I found the place to fix it.

By the way, this runs on cron every minute. So there are processes still running exponentially right now, possibly 180+.

Yeah, I'm setting up a a test server instead now.

There is absolutely no reason, what so ever, that you should ever own a fucking Wi-Fi enabled washer and dryer!

Like if you really need to check that your kids haven't done the chores while you're at the grocery store, from your phone, you have some bigger issues. You're basically giving LG the ability to make money off your laundry habits for years and years after your purchase.

My company just acquired another company from some losers.
Gotta load their pittance database onto our thing.
Their entire "Technology Department" is one old fart.
One even older fart runs their accounting.
I asked the IT boomer for their accounting data.
He tells me to get the head accountant.
The head accountant says they do not have any historical accounting data.
I threaten to call the (equivalent of the) IRS on them.
They give up, admit that they do have some historical data. But they attempt to pull a "malicious compliance" on me, send me a pallet full of old receipts, on paper.

I do what I have done one hundred times before, I go to the closest community college (equivalent) and ask/bribe a teacher to offer the most trustworthy kids some pretty pennies to scan all those files for me.
A dozen of them barely took a week to do it using their not-so-bad camera phones.
It all for about the same price as a couple of older-but-still-good iPhones.
Then it's on to some simple OCR and data normalization tasks.

This morning I had another meeting with the losers, the first since I told them their "data" had just arrived in the mail (but a couple weeks after that). They log in for the meeting all smug, thinking we would ask for more time to load their data, and it would be my team's fault for any delays.
Then the regional business evaluator logs in and said he reviewed their financials yesterday and we have a lot to talk about.
I will remember their "just got punched in the gut" faces forever :)

I thought I'd always be a die-hard proponent of working from home; it can be great for the right person: and I thought that would be me; but with the family I have? It's turning into a disaster. They're too used to having me around, my wife is becoming too used to making arrangements that involve me taking an hour or two out of the day here and there; she doesn't know the impact of context switching in the middle of the day. If I refuse to help her out, that makes me the asshole. Then I get ratty because I feel the stress of being unproductive, and guess whose fault it is again? Mine. The kids rush in and out of my work area, or get upset when I come out for a coffee and don't want to spend time with them, but it's not their fault, at 2 and 4 they don't understand. Take me back to the fucking office, I'm done.

I just want to work. How hard is the concept of being left the fuck alone.

Ya boi got a new vehicle. Its an SUV(cuz i got kids) a nissan murano 2017, maaaan this one is a good vehicle.

When I leave the truck on and I take the keys with me it makes this little beeping sound. And because I am weird I like to say: "ah, sentry mode"

I spent 10 years driving a Honda Civic. Not gon a lie, it was a really good car and it never gave me any issues. But it was starting to show its wear and tear and I didn't trust it for a long trip sort of deal.

Is this dev related? Fuck no, I was just fixing to be random and te y'all I got a new vehicle.

Texas

Can we rant about coworking spaces?

I like the coworking office concept and I love this desk I have for myself, I like this building, the supervisor is sweet and I made new clients here...

But I hate one of my "neighbours".

We have several office rules and he constantly breaks them.

No music allowed without headphones. Nope, gotta listen to shitty radio straight from the smartphone speaker.

No loud conferences or phone talks. Nah, let's set the volume to the max. And leave the phone behind and let it ring loudly forever.

You can only occupy one desk unless you rent more. In comes his coworker who keeps occupying an extra desk for free and who's as loud as he is. And bring the kids because hey, growing up bored inside a office is good for them.

And today's newest: no eating in the office. Coworker brought her kid who set up a -dinning table- on the extra desk and began eating her lunch leftovers. It wouldn't have been so bad and I wouldn't have noticed except the office was overflowed with the stench of overheated pasta.

This is a big office. I had to open the windows. I can still feel the smell. It's nauseating.

I didn't say anything because it's not the kid's fault they didn't take her to the building's canteen space. But at the risk of making enemies where I shouldn't, I need to have a "fun" talk with someone.

At the ranters who use Vim as their primary IDE. How do you manage to get some autocompletion working?
I want to be one of the cool kids and use Vim for coding but I am so used to a good autocompletion like the one IntelliJ offers.
I want to be able to browse through every method of an object or function of a module. But Vims build in engine sucks ass and YouCompleteMe doesnt seem to work that good either (only tested with Javascript, Typescript and Elm). They dont show all the correct identifiers but they do show some other random stuff.

How do you guys manage to be productive? How do you make it show only the usefull stuff?

Time for moms to start asking kids to play GTA V to get some piece from the outside world.

Legit GTA V is less violent than many places in America right now.

Professor:
For your first assignment, create a Java application which can do the tasks X, Y and Z but make sure that your output is formatted exactly the same as my two examples in the PDF I've provided. You don't know if these are tabs or spaces? Just pick one and hope for the best. Oh, and don't forget to save all the generated objects in a Collection. The fuck do I know how they should be sorted in there, just make it look the same. Anyway, you can upload your code on our server sometime next week where your program will then be tested. Good luck.

PS: All my presentations are written in Comic Sans. I heard you kids love that shit.

I appreciate Minecraft and Minecraft mods. Teaching kids to eat tasty animals, and make glue from blood. There is a mod the literally makes glue by putting horses in a smelter. You can even heal the horse and keep it alive indefinitely. In constant agony. lol

Although, the idea that you can sustainably produce energy from wood is a bit suspect. Thankfully mods jumped in with nuclear reactors for real power generation.

Fuck apple for making it as hard as fuck to sign in to my fucking apple id. Because my ex wife was my "trusted" number, I couldn't get an authentication code. Tech support told me it would take 3 days to reset my password.

After 3 hours of fucking around, I finally was able to reset my password.

I've been trying to get my kids to watch stupid Indiana Jones for years. They finally agreed. After going through 3 hours of BS so I could buy the movie, we start watching it. Literally, as the boulder is rolling down toward Dr. Jones, the movie stops suddenly so that Apple can verify my purchase!

Then, it asks me to buy it again!

For every developer, who lives a nocturnal life.. the toughest job is baby sitting for a week..
At least for me.. Already missing the 3 AM idea cracks and coding..
Waking up at 6am is not my cup of tea and getting the kids ready for school.. I would rather prefer to work all night...
Another 3 days to go...

I used to screw around with the school computers, nothing much, a few batch files here, a few html scripts there. But once, they took away my use of the computer for, "Tampering with very important parts of the computer." Yeah.
Don't do html in school, kids.

I started out learning Python. And before you "tsk, kids these days", it was before Python became the go to starter language for a lot of universities. No, I started learning around age 12.

My dad (a programmer himself), bought "Python Programming for the Absolute Beginner" and we went through it together. He started out holding my hand as I went through the exercises, but pretty quick I was getting through them mostly on my own.

It was really fun, and I'm absolutely going to do the same if/when I have children of my own. The books exercises were all games, which made it really fun. Instead of "hello world", the first program printed "game over". I was super proud of the hangman game I eventually wrote.

It gave me a leg up when I started taking actual classes, and really instilled a love of coding and puzzle solving in me that propelled me through two degrees.

When I was 11 or 12 and I found a magazine for kids that for some reason had an HTML tutorial to build a personal site with Microsoft Frontpage. I think it was 2006 back then and for a few weeks I learnt a lot about HTML, managed to create my site and upload it to a free host. I was fascinated. That was my first close up, at least, to something related to programming. From that day, I knew I was going to work with computers. Now I'm a Java dev but I'm still seeking the language for me. Maybe Javascript.

!rant
I've lost all fucking motivation to do anything at the moment.
Fuck not even gaming is much fun anymore.
Also amazing that I have so little time on Mondays that I can't even eat properly.
Literally living on caffeine, a spoonful of, like, porridge and water on Mondays.

And of course the nice bistro is closed on Mondays.
Then there is that motherfucker of person at school that just randomly starts sharing weird ass details with you and promptly started to break out in tears when she failed maths today.

Like fucking hell, then for some reason the same person fucks up everything in her volleyball group by literally doing nothing and complains when she gets hit by a fucking volleyball, like, she doesn't even attempt to dodge it catch it.

So much for that fuckery.

Then there's these little brats that just completely play asshole and are being jackasses to everyone including upperclassmen and teachers.
Grab em by the throat and fucking put them in a toilet.
Literally the reason why our school is generally known as the 'Drecksloch', literally dirt hole.

The fucking volume is driving me batshit insane in school to the point where I just start yelling at people.
Fucking kids, it literally doesn't cost you shit to just shut the fuck up.

Okay, vent over.
Sorry for that.

So Google, Microsoft, Facebook, Amazon and many others just gave $50mil (each) for CS education in USA. The program is intended to help minorities and kids in highschool learn coding.

That's pretty awesome. Say what you will about these companies but they do some really great things sometimes.

Also, Ivanka Trump was helping this along. I'm not a fan of the trump administration but still, that's awesome!

How do working professionals find time to learn new tech? Work all weekdays... Shit tired on weekends this happens for few months and suddenly kids are b building ai and stuff and u just feel dumb.. how do you guys do it? How do you stay on top of the game?

Rant

So a couple months ago, my dad called me to try and solve a problem he was having in his work.
You see, my dad owns a driving school and he was teaching 14 and 15yo kids how to ride mopeds and their theory exams are made in the school's facility, by going to this website of the entity that rules the moped teaching thing. When the time to have the exams came, they couldn't even see the exams and one of the kids had one of his attempts wasted (they had 3 attempts). We mailed and called the entity multiple times, to no avail, as they told us to "check the website, the instructions are all there". They were also trying to get it together but they couldn't. Here's the "funny" part: the software in which the exams were done ran on XP and there was no way in hell we could make it work on our W10 PCs. Not to mention this is a natiowide problem.
We reinstalled Java to v.7.9 (I think...?) as the "instructions" told us, with no results whatsoever.
So my dad decided to call me and asked me to bring a PC that didn't run W10. The closest thing to XP I could think of was my uncle's Toshiba, that had Vista, so I went to his house and grabbed it and drove to my dad's school. Even in compatibility mode, it didn't work. Everyone was in despair LoL. I was even put on the phone with the entity's technician, who didn't know how to solve it either but was trying, as well with our tech guy.
After a bit of running around and crying inside, our secretary remembered we still had a tower on site that ran XP. We went for the thing and connected it and booted it up. After reinstalling Java and setting security to "medium" (required), and meddling with zoom (the window was too small to show the whole exam and if the window showed up before we set the zoom to 75% or so we couldn't choose the answers) it was finally set to do the exams.
I've never felt so relieved for solving tech stuff LoL. It took me 3h to get it done and I feel it would have been easier if we had remembered about the tower earlier but oh well what can one do.

I taught an intro to programming class today, brought back memories of highschool...

I remember when I started my first IT class in grade 10, it was a 50/50 split between IT theory amd programming. Choices were java or delphi...I made the uninformed choice to do java (thank goodness) and really enjoyed it. For some reason the logic and OOP concepts really made sense to me and i was well ahead of the class. I was always top 5 for maths/physics/chem and english literature but never enjoyed them for a second. On the other hand programming was something i could do for hours and still enjoy. In my final year we had to do a project, most of my class was still struggling with very simple for loops and jframes. The projects were terrible drag and drop NetBeans UIs that would convert meters to feet.

I remember being upset with the quality and ended up writing an entire client/server chat system with file sharing, voice notes, voice streaming, server admin controls, usernames and passwords (plaintext sql of course 😂), admins/mods/guests etc...

Got 100% and a personal recognition from the headmaster...found out yesterday the staff at the college have actually been using it since the time I left.

I don't know why i typed this whole story, something about teaching the kids where i was myself made me feel warm and fuzzy inside

!dev

I am a simple person, and i life by simple rules. Doing all necessary tasks of the day eat/sleep/work/socialize. Keeping myself and people around me in a good shape, without bothering anyone.

And then i see the majority of humanity. wasting their existance, poising their body making their brain numb with smoking, drinking and all sorts of drugs, caring only for themself and bothering others.

Please fellow devs rais your kids properly, dont let them become a worse generation then what was the last 50 years. Give them the present of logical thinking and show them kindness while also showing them the harshness of life.

I am going to post cryptic ass shit on y'alls shit that gives over a fake sense of me knowing what I am talking about in terms of faking my credentials from working on big companies and having tons of knowledge of software development in an effort to convince you all in of my credentials to get massive upvotes by making you all think I am intellectually and technologically superior to you in multiple senses! I will use a thesaurus for this btw! not my general day to day speech! after all, it will give my fake ideals of credibility more success and acceptance! remember! i worked for all companies starving kids in different parts of the world did! nothing but my word for it!

Some people really need to consider the shit they read online from people that have been caught bullshitting all the time.
9/10 your shit is good enough, stop letting phonies make you feel inadecuate over their supposed success in this works ffs

everyone who bought a domain just to reserve it and sell it for $5000+ and dont even use it: i hope you and your whole family and ancestors and kids die in the most painful, brutal Ruthless death, prior to suffering in pain, agony and torture by the satan himself.

Let's talk about kids!

Do you have any?

Do you want to have any? When? Why not?

I have two kids, one girl (2 yo) and one boy (5 mo).

The loves of my life and my main motivation for everything.

Wtf... kids coding by google. I cant figure out the shortest route for this last level. Any ideas???

In sweden, probably in many countries, we have this chocolate calendar where u get one piece of chocolate every day til Christmas. This is usually for kids but we "younger ones" got one from a colleague as fun gift. After about half through December when I came back on Monday i realized that someone had emptied my chocolate box and had thrown it in the trash. I was devastated. So I wrote an angry email, ending with "Merry fucking shit christmas", to the whole office in order to make the guilty one feel more guilty.
As it turned out, another colleague had found an exact same box, emptied that one and replaced mine. He came crawling 2min after I sent the mail😂

Back then when I was working on a website logic, I didn't want to comment my code. Despite that, I wrote some things which were obvious and I thought it would be funny to explain obvious things in code. I made a joke out of commenting.
Recently I needed to use a part of the code for a different project and the comments were exceptionally helpful and I would be lost without it.

So, kids, comment your code!

!dev

Why do I hate my extended family coming over for lunch and dinner you ask?

> kids, who will ruin the remote by pressing the keys so hard, I'll have to get a new remote.

> NO PEACE. I'll have to move from my comfort spot to another spot where, again kids, will come and ask if I have "GAMES" in my mobile or laptop

> and this happened after lunch while watching a movie which I never watched before, my imbecile cousin decides to spoil the entire movie just like that, like, FUCK YO, LIKE REALLY, I KNOW YOU'RE MY RELATIVE IN SOME WAY, BUT FUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUU, spoilers is one of the things I cannot stand.

> I really do not like to be annoyed again and again and again and again, so please stop asking me if I want to have lunch or dinner with everyone because I really HATE the talk during that time.

> I leave my laptop for one microsecond and they surround it like scavengers, I MEAN FOR FUCKS SAKE, GIVE ME MY PRIVACY, (I have my own room, but it's under renovation).

The best I could do was to put on headsets and pretend like I'm working while browsing LinkedIn.

> "Oh I see you have HD TV, but the picture is blurred" NO SHIT, SHERLOCK, It is due to I chose not to buy HD Pack because I live stream HD Channels and cable is a backup

I feel like I need to clarify the concept of toxic masculinity and toxic femininity.

The masculinity itself is not toxic! Being a masculine man is not being toxic. Being a man is not being toxic.

Toxic masculinity, in a nutshell, is:
- Teaching boys to never express their feelings. Men don't cry. You should always maintain the “tough” image. If you open up about how you feel, you're a pussy. Domestic abuse of men doesn't exist. A man can't be raped by a woman.
- You should only depend on yourself. Even if you're in trouble (say, with depression or bullying), and you ask for help, you're a pussy.
- Boys will be boys. Aggression is typical for men, and expressing it beating other men is a manly behaviour.

There is also toxic femininity:
- Men should work and provide for the women. Women shouldn't work, they should instead be housekeeping and raising kids.
- Women should be pretty and work on their looks (to attract men).
- If you don't have kids by the age of 30, there is something wrong with you.

It almost seems like traditional grotesque gender roles diminish the personality for the sake of social conformity. The pattern is always “men should”, “women should”. They tell you what to do, authoritatively so, based on your biological sex. They try to “put you in your place” where you “belong” just because of your genitals. This is toxic.

It is important to retain personality. The ultimate goal is to get rid of those stereotypes and finally throw them in the garbage bin where they belong. Because of them, we have anorexia in women (the most deadly mental disorder), and also male suicides through the roof.

Before you label me “feminist”, bear in mind that the third wave is all over the place, to the point they can't agree on what feminism is.

Worked for a party supply chain on their e-commerce solution for less than minimum wage and was overworked.

The only reason i did it was so i could visit my girlfriend 3 hours away each weekend.

We are still together 7 years later and have 2 kids.

When I was in high school Facebook was just coming out and it was...

- a way for the cool kids to exclude anyone they didn’t like from a visible social circle.

When I was in university Facebook was taking over the world and it was...

- a place for your mom to embarrass you and your racist aunt/uncle to make uncomfortable racist comments.

Today Facebook is...

- a serious threat to society itself. A direct threat to truth and the enemy of the press.

And yet most of these weak-minded, short-term dopamine addicts are still sucking Facebook’s flaccid cock.

———

To loosely quote iceberg slim...

A real pimp can eye a bitch and gauge right away how much mileage she has...

“That hoe is good for 500 fucks”

Once the mileage runs out the bitch gets strung out and you gotta let her go.

I wonder how many more likes these dopamine-driven Facebook hoes have left in them? I wonder?

Ps. Yes, Facebook is a pimp and every time you look at it you are a hoe. You give up the preverbal pussy to them, they sell your pussy to the ticks (advertisers) and then you get fucked, getting just enough dopamine so that your fine with them selling your pussy for profit.

So someone decides that the employees need to do these stupid Web-based training's that not even high school kids should be looking into.
What is about ?
Security and Cryptography, and now event the real stuff.

What it covers?
Alice and Bob, Bob and Alice.
Alice wants Bob some pics/messages that she suspects someone else will see. DDDDDDAAAAAAAFFFFFFFAAAAAAAAAKKKKKK

A total of 7 useless time wasting interactive and annoying training's, 20+ min each.

But someone forgot that please do not send this shit to engineers of your company, specially Software/Network engineers. Oh another subset, specially not to those who work deeper into the domain.

I'm getting paid to do this time wasting activity, and still.

I also may come back and remove this BUT FOR NOW I NEED TO RANT.

I fucking hate malls.

People don't walk in any regular pattern or at the same speed. Full of smelly kids and their dumbstruck parents. I REALLY do not understand how some choose to spend their time at the mall as a recreational activity (other than going with a specific destination in mine, like the cinema). Whenever the circumstances force me to wonder around one for more than ten minutes, for me it's the equivalent of several hours of work, energywise.

Generally I hate people, but malls are the places where I hate them the most. Fuck!

So yesterday ended with me becoming a first responder in front of my house. Talk about a crazy day.

Guy sped up down my very short dead-end road and flipped a school van down the embankment. Thankfully there were no kids in the van and the driver was okay.

I've never had to run into the scene of an accident before, and what the brain does in a time of crisis like that is absolutely amazing.

Feeling everything but the immediate need drain away. It was like time was slowed. I took in all the information of the scene and somehow worked fast while also double-checking every action I did.

I remember hesitating for a moment, worried about what I'd see. School students on the back. Would I see injured or dead children? Body parts? I remember saying "Fuck it" and running down the embankment and that was about it.

So serious props to any of you who read this that also volunteer as EMT or fire/rescue. I've long considered doing that myself and I may very well step up now that I've had first-hand experience.

And now for the requisite joke: Usually I only have to help out when Windows crashes. :)

Oh for crying out loud. Master/Slave has been the defacto way to describe dependent interactions between electronics since the birth of the silicon chip. Even IDE used to implement it as a standard for running multiple devices over a single cable. Just because a handful of fresh faced 18 year old kids think the world owes them a soap box and a rock to hang themselves over, it does not mean the world has to bend to this oversaturated retribution complex that seems to be affecting every college student lately. Grow the fuck up.

What the fuck is up with interviewing these days. Now I have to invent a video game and work for free for ten hours just to find out I have no idea what the fuck video programming has to do with frontend. You kids need to figure this shit out. It’s really fucking annnoying.

Anyone else like stickers for their laptop, but not the stereotypical "there's no place like 127.0.0.1" stickers?

Like I've got one for a local charity that supports teaching underprivileged kids that want to learn how to surf, a cooler brand one, one for my school, a clothing brand I like, ect?

Idk I just don't like the typical computer nerd stickers 🤷🤷

Tried getting enough sleep for the Monday and failed miserably.
First, I made my kids washed, like usual, around 6pm. Then tried to put them to sleep. The younger one went to sleep, the older refused. Wanted to play, run, jump, sing and scream. After an half an hour his screaming woke up younger. Now I had two kids to put to sleep back again.
The younger is one year old and requires more attention, otherwise cries.
After serious fight the older was forced to sleep. He tried to jump over me, bite me, kick, hit, eat chocolate, wanted to pee, then jump, run and fight again. I ended up lying him forcibly in the bed, holding his hand by kind of a block, so that he couldn't move to much. Took 15 minutes, but he felt asleep. It was 22. Joys of having 3yo kid.
After more 30 minutes and a bottle of milk the 1yo was sleeping.
At 2am the older woke and cried. I woke, tried to make him calm, he pushed me away and went back to sleep. Now it's 3:40, my sleeping pill wore off, and I won't take another one, because I need to get up at six.

This is how you get a good night's sleep before having a busy week.

My mom (a single mother who had to feed 4 kids) feed me, let me stay in her house (at least until I was 21) and let me use the motorcycle.
Instead of running away and giving up her children to child institution (because that's probably what I will do being a selfish person that I am)
If that's not support, I don't know what that is anymore.
It might not be much but at least it gave me the time to grew up and be independent to pursue my dream of working in IT.

Her strength and toughness facing the hard life is also the main inspiration for me to keep going, to prove that I can do whatever I want if I put enough effort on it.

Many people / engineers around me talk about trendy stuff like Cybersecurity or AI and show off what great encryption and neuronal networks they 'have built' ( I would rather say 'using').

I kinda get the feeling of 'Everbody talks about it - no one really knows what's goin' on inside (especially those guys who hate math and even algorithms).'

Am I just stupid or does somebody else here feel the same way? I mean people have been doing serious research about this stuff for years. And currently many kids are coming up with it as if it is easy stuff like the bubble sort.

My First !Experience : Disappointment with a computer

My mum kept tons of floppies but we didnt have a computer at home. Went to my friends house, who had one, and had Encarta 95 (its like a fun wikipedia for kids). When I mentioned I had floppies, he asked for one, since he didnt have one. We copied Encarta to that floppy hoping we would cheat in the next computer science test. We even tested it.

After we were certain that all works (you should know we were surprised that it could fit in one floppy), we got to school, put the disk in and voila

we had copied a shortcut :)

Fuck WFH. I'm so tired of kids yelling. people eating, fucking noises and people leaving their desks for hour, and sayigg I'm sorry I was speaking on mute. Fuck WFH. Everybody needs to get their asses back to the office, and actually do the damn work.

WFH only works if you have kickass passionate people who love their job with an ounce of responsibility.

Mobile phones are from hell >:[ Well, at least my gf's Samsung is from hell. It makes noise for anything. If someone calls, play a stupid melody. If there is a text, play a stupid melody. If its battery needs to be charged, play a stupid melody. If its battery is fully charged, play a stupid melody. Even if it's in the middle of the night and people just maybe would like to get a few minutes of sleep! What's next? Play a stupid melody when the stupid Samsung Android piece of junk wants its diaper changed? Or when it's bored? Or just needs attention? Or when it realises that the word "smart" in smart phones actually means stupid? SHUT UP!!! We don't need a tamagotchi, we already have two kids and two cats to fullfill our tamagotchying needs! Technology is supposed to make life easier, not worse FFS! No wonder so many people get stressed out these days! And you, pathetic people at Samsung, or whoever that come up with these "smart" features that deprave decent people of their sleep, now it's your turn to be woken up! WAKE UP IDIOTS! Get outside your small mobile-bound shitholes of confined fart-filled bubbles! Learn about REAL LIFE, get yourselves nagging gfs, screaming kids and a PUNCH IN YOUR FACES! Maybe that will teach you to manufacture phones that SHUT THE FUCK UP during sleeping hours!

Got my first legit side-gig as a developer (like had to write an SOW and everything): my kids' pediatrician is amazing, but shes switching to a concierge practice, meaning she wont take any insurance, and shes going from about 1500 patients down to about 200. I already pay my mortgage-worth in insurance on a monthly basis, so we were prepared to say adios to her. At my daughter's last appointment, she pulled me aside and said "what can we do to keep you guys as patients?" and i somewhat jokingly suggested "I dunno, need any websites written?"

As a matter of fact, she did: she just fired her practice's web developer, who gave her a shitty wordpress site and fought like hell to avoid any further maintenance or updates for her. She hates the site's current layout (no surprise there) so she is basically giving me full control over a rewrite.

No user logins, no worries about compliance with PII or any of that. Literally just turning a brochure wordpress site into an angular app, hosting it on her own server and eventually building an admin page where she can change the banner text and upload new images.

And my kids will get free, top-notch health care.

Code your own damn stuff!

I am building a RFID and button controlled music player for kids.
I am using a couple of different modules for that. The one for the input was really laggy. I thought it was so laggy because of the network delay. I tinkered with it a week but it didn't improved. So I just coded my own module which was much easier to do than I thought.
It was a really rewarding to code something yourself in less than a day instead of trying to get something working for a week.

First exposure with c# - working with the Kinect SDK to create a program for kids with autism at my uni's hackathon in 48 hours

This was about two years ago, and is so fucking simple. But it's because I fucked up something so goddamn simple that I'll never be able to forget.

One of the stupidest fucking things I've done?

Went into the GNOME Disks utility trying to wipe a SanDisk Cruzer USB drive. BAM! There goes the entirety of my /dev/sda disk! Oh, and you know all partitions on that disk?? Gone!! Nothing I could do.

I don't know which pisses me off about myself more: The fact that Linux has more complicated tools that do the same exact job but make me think about what the actual fuck I'm doing thus preventing fuckups, or the fact that I was too fucking lazy to use them and decided to go with the dirt simple option and still managed to fuck myself over in the end...

Lesson for you kids that haven't fucked yourselves over in a way this dumb yet: ALWAYS have that backup installer USB somewhere. ALWAYS.

something like a 3.96 undergrad GPA

ivy league masters degree + scientific publication

first job -> $4500/month for first 3 months (some dumbass 'intern' rule even though i had a masters -> then $6000 -> then $6400/month (insane amount for me, at least IMO)

second job -> $4000/month

third job -> $3600/month

in each one, skills and responsibilities increased

and now i can't get hired 🤷‍♂️

pretty sure i did it all backwards

just remember kids, nothing that society tells you is actually true. everything in the corporate world is controlled by emotions and narratives, not logic, hard work or anything actually valuable

just get that cozy 9-5 and kill all your hopes and dreams before they start

Who thought Lua was a good idea for extending gameplay functionality??

It's weakly typed, has no OOP functionality and no namespace rules. It has no interesting data structures and tables are a goddamn mystery. Somebody made the simplest language they could and now everybody who touches it is given the broadest possible tools to shoot themselves in the foot.

Lua's ease of embedding into C++ code is a fool's paradise. Warcraft 3's JASS scripting language had way more structure and produced much better games, whilst being much simpler to work with than Lua.

All the academics describing metatables as 'powerful extensionality' and a fill-in for OOP are digging the hole deeper. Using tables to implement classes doesn't work easily outside school. Hiding a self:reference to a function inside of syntactic sugar is just insanity.

Nobody expects to write a triple-A game in lua, but they are happy to fob it off to kids learning to program. WoW made the right choice limiting it to UI extensions.

Fighting the language so you can try and understand a poorly documented game engine and implement gameplay features as the dev's intend for 'modders', is just beyond the pale. It's very difficult to figure out what the standard for extending functionality is, when everybody is making it up as they go along and you don't have a strongly-typed and structured language to make it obvious what the devs intended.

If you want to give your players a coding sandbox, make the scripting language yourself like JASS. It will be way better fit for purpose, way easier to limit for security and to guarantee reasonable performance. Your players get a sane environment to work in and you just might get the next DOTA.

Repeatedly shooting yourself in the foot on invisible syntax errors and an incredibly broad language is wasted suffering for kids that could be learning the programming concepts that cross all languages way quicker and with way more satisfying results.

Lua is hot garbage for it's most popular application, I really don't get it. Just stop!

Nope, too young.

Though some smaller kids than me DID come and ask for advice on how to start learning and I told them that they have an entire internet to learn from, there are guides online, and everything that stands between them and success is their DESIRE to learn computer science. And if they really do want to learn CS - really stick to it along the years and try to get as much head start as they possibly can.

I learned in my limited experience in software development (for the uninitiated, I am 16, started coding at 12), that you must want to learn it DEEP DOWN, because if solving problems is not your cup of tea and you don’t like thinking big, then GTFO lol.

Recently I receive a ton of mails from cool/hip/rockstar startups. They all run like this:

"We are a innovative Startup based on a [insert some random stuff or buzzword] blockchain! If you're a student with skills and experience in blockchain, machine learning and AI willing to change the world with our sick technology and make it a better place..."

The best thing about this: since they are a innovative Startup they expect you to work for free.

But who am I to judge something so brand-new and innovative. I contacted them to find out what these dank innovations are about.

They can't even explain what a blockchain is or the basics of ML and AI, they basically just want someone do it for free...

It's still ok since no one is gonna fall for this bait... this morning a friend of mine told me he got a new job... and he even can work from home...

I'm not even mad, I just feel sadness and sorrow specially for him, because he is a good dev and accepts big times underpay and now free work, because he thinks a day off in his CV will lead him to be unemployed 😭

Fucking hate it how people successfuly manipulate kids and youth to them to work 24/7 for minimum wage or even for free and some other douchebags trying to take advantage of this 😡

After ten years of working sh*t jobs I finally got the chance to study CompSci at a top university... All the kids look at me as if I've been programming for years, truth is I just study a lot because my scholarship requires me to get B+ or above.

so this client asked me to build a fully functional financial education app for kids that she needed to present as a project in the next two days...

I did attempt it and it felt good but failed to meet the deadline cos I almost died

DAPHNE: We finally caught the mean old Edge Browser! Now let's find out who you *really* are!
SCOOBY: Ruh-roh!
SHAGGY: Yoink!
DAPHNE: Gasp! It was Old Man Trident Rendering Engine all along!
VELMA: We could have worked it out from how Edge has exactly the same bugs and performance problems is IE!
OLD MAN TRIDENT: And I'd have got away with it if it wasn't for you pesky kids!

3 days 2 nights with only 20 min naps and max 1h of sleep in between. I was finishing my masters thesis. Then I handed it in the next day and everything felt like it is in slow motion? The printing, the going there to hand it in, etc. Couldn't sleep for that day either xD do not recommend. Start writing your thesis on time kids

A year ago I was hired as a Jr dev to assist the senior dev because he was so busy. Within 2 months he was pushed out and I replaced him. I thought maybe he just got busy with other things or found a new job.

After working alone this past year, I was told last week that since I am so busy with things outside the job, they were hiring someone to help me finish the project I'm currently on.

(for context : I work as a contracted dev for a small dev company of 5 or so people. One for each language/os.)

I can't help but think that I'm probably being pushed out and replaced. I flat out asked that, but never got a reply. Now I'm 70% through a project and disgruntled with everything. Not sure how I'm supposed to feel really.

If they want to replace me for one reason or another that's fine, I just wish they weren't shady about it.

I should probably be working right now, but I'm going to take my kids to the pet store to clear my head. I'll enjoy a little time away from my computer.

Hm.

Was very frustrated from work.

Started cooking.

Simple gnocchis with tomato / paprika sauce.

Might have been a little distracted...

I've grabbed a regular sized spoon instead of a tea spoon.

I've handmade ungarian puszta.

I've added a full spoon of it to the sauce.

It's very spicy and hot.

I'll guess my guts are in hell mode for the next days.

But it's delicious.

Remember kids: always eat up what you cooked.

Even if it seems to kill you by burning your insides out.

I gotta say I never understood owning a Roomba until my wife got me an off-brand Deebot one for my birthday. I named it “The Kraken”, as in “release the...” because it sees nothing and devours all. My kids can now rest easy because they won’t hear me complain about how the floor is always dirty and how nobody wants to vacuum but me. Now I just fire up the app, hit “Auto”, and The Kraken cleans my house. It even mops! I feel bad for the doggo, though.

90% of beginner questions are so damn annoying. I get it, some people are new and still learning but for the love of God, I just want to tell these kids to shut the fuck up, sit their ass down and WRITE SOME DAMN CODE, instead of bitching and moaning about what they best language is or how to magically read a tutorial and become a ninja in a day.

Fuck.

Started with a "Python for Kids" book when I was in fourth grade, hated it, but a week later I went to a summer camp with my friend where we made a cool CSS3-styled website. Then on, I've finished most of the courses on codecademy, and built some games and apps, and more websites that my friends wanted. Welp :/, if you need me I'll be making my AI or working on an OS. I guess you could say my process was giving up on Python ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I just switched from Arch to Fedora...

I know I know that all the cool kids use arch, but right now I'm not up for checking out random gdm bugs or some other manual tasks. I need a stable, fairly supported and well maintained distro and fedora just works!

Been coding with Vim for about half a hour, after I while I notice my pinky bulges, I push it off but...
Now, whenever I keep my fingers in a Vim-typing position the pinky bulges on it's own.

Don't try Vim kids, wrong for your health.

My father had a PC with Win3.11 where young me was allowed to play solitaire and an educational programs for kids, later on, followed Win98. I was fascinated with this big grey boxes which could do so many things, especially connect you to the Internet where you could find knowledge about EVERYTHING. (Someone remember the "Blinde Kuh" search engine?)

I remember my father connecting the modem with a long cable all the way through several rooms to the TAE-outlet and the weird sounds the device made.

I often heard "Get away from the PC or your eyes will become rectangular!" when I was sitting there for hours over hours reading and playing.

When I was ten, I got my first own computer, a trusty 486er (386 with logical coprocessor! 8MB RAM if I remember correctly. Weeee! :D) which was my uncle's old PC with Win95.
I started writing on the PC and got into several online communities ... it went downhill from there. :D

As someone who uses UNIX and UNIX-like systems on a daily basis, and someone dealing with computer support in a school, I experience so, so many issues, many of which others have already ranted about.

For no reason at all, I find it incredibly frustrating how many high school students' understanding of sudo is limited to this:
Student: Hey, isn't sudo the minecraft command
Me: Erm
Student: You know, the one skeppy uses... to troll players? Anyway, you're doing it wrong. There should be a slash before you run the command
Me: aaargh.
and so on. Happens probably every 10th time I invoke sudo.

I mean, really? Surely these kids, with all their complaints and lines: hacking into the mainframe/whats the admin password/why did you block my VPN/ and so on, would know what sudo is. But NO, they just don't seem to get it. Sometimes I lose my hope in the futures of these kids.

Fuck Governments and schools for not teaching kids basic financial knowledge or how to identify scams and how to determine if the returns that they got told are realistic.

The amount of people that call me and ask me if they got scamed or how to invest in something because I am "that guy" that they know that's into Computers honestly scares me. I think many countries have a huge problem with basic financial illiteracy. People call me all the time and ask me about investing in crypto currencies etc. or ask me if they were scamed and I often have to tell them that they indeed got scamed. Does that only happen to me or does it also happen to you guys?

Entering Week4 post-layoff. Week2 of pretty much nothing but playing with my kids, doing house chores, exercising and job searching.

I spent like 3 hours in the gym last Friday. Instructor there turned to me and said "tough divorce?". To what I answered "very happily married, got laid off from work". He said that it would be his second guess.

Even before this whole crap I had enough cash flow-yielding investments to just about make rent. My wife makes enough to make sure we will want for nothing, our old folks have our kids' tuition fees covered, and we have some savings anyway.
But the anxiety-laden period between "send a dozen messages and resumė's" and having the same "greetings, fellow millenial!" meetings with different sets of tech-illiterate boomers and toddlers is becoming a boring nuisance, one that "having a side project to keep my mind warm" could solve.

Maybe I will fix the Stardew Valley Mods API for Android. I haven't done the C#/.NET thing since uni, and my frontend Java game is weak (at best) but how much could have it changed this last decade or so? /s

Maybe I will write a MongoDB Runner for Apache Beam. But I'm afraid that won't yeld enough street cred to be worth it Does anyone knows what it means?

Maybe I will finally be done consolidating a lifetime of cloud storage into a big-kid glacier-level LTS solution.

Dunno, bored here. Need some 20h/week project I can quit as soon as some job appears to be lining up. Ideas?

You know what you shouldnt do? Leave your bag with your work laptop at the stairs.

Woke up as normal today and helped the kids down the stairs without checking. Then I just heard how I stepped on something.

Lets say its a big crack in the middle of the screen and you see shit. But gladly it work with work with external screens so its just the screen that are damaged. So tomorrow I must either:

- Work as normal with an external monitor and simply wait to call the boss for fix until after christmas.

- Or call the boss and tell him how stupid I am and hope its okay and I van get a new one/fix this.

Right now I feel for the first one.

Dads of DevRant: Will I ever be able to work on personal projects again? I have a half-complete project that was going really well, that I have immense enthusiasm and drive for, but I just can't get to it, kids/family takes up 100% of my time & it's honestly depressing me. I'm finally at a stage in my career/skills where I could complete this; the technicals and business are all within my grasp, but I've fucked myself by having a family, my life isn't mine any more, I gave it up. Not their fault. But will it ever get better? Maybe someone out there understands this pain; nobody around me does, I keep it inside.

+30C in the sunlight, +24 in the shade. As soon as I step out of sunlight, it feels like standing in -7 for 5 minutes...Naked. Light-headed af and limbs feel more flexible than gummy worms in a microwave. Even if I've consumed like 2 liters before noon.

Seems like I've managed to fuck up my hipothalamus.. Shit... No more coding for this lizard today

stay safe, kids. Keep your bodies properly cooled.

Being on time for that 10 am stand-up meeting.

Yes, all the cool kids are doing it. Yes, sometimes there is a benefit in being in the office at the same time as your colleagues. Yes, communication and backbriefing is important.

Yet why has it to happen at that early early possible time? Yes I know other places are worse demanding to be in office starting from 6 to 9. (I wonder why I don't work there. Oh wait, I don't.) Some companies even try to trick you with free breakfast in the morning. Thanks, but no thanks, I just want coffee.

Here's a crazy thought: You let me do my work on my terms when and where and I guarantee I invest the hours we agreed upon in the contract and try my very best to achieve the current goal, and maybe I'll be a happy and productive employee.

How about that? No. Ok. By the way, is this a good time asking for the possibility to work from remote? Also no? Ah okay. Didn't think so ...

Biggest lesson learned for me was believing some guy wearing a comb over & a fake tan who sounds like a car salesman. He claimed selling web app services to companies was no different than selling cars. It turns out that a lot of investors were not too happy that the company went under (b4 anything was released) b/c the CEO/CFO somehow managed to burn several million dollars on first class flights, cruises, 5 star restaurants, a luxury company car (for himself), hotels, etc.,. oh and even some fake tans!

Worst part about all that he wasn't even worth sueing because he had no money after all that. He even signed the 'company' car over to one of his kids!

I would replace it completely with industry apprenticeship, along with every other major. Education in the USA has become a scam designed to mine children for debt. If we're shackling kids to their student loans we at least owe them relevance in their chosen workplace.

Germany apparently let's people choose apprenticeship over university for work such as engineering. Does anyone know more about that? Does it work? Would it work for programmers?

if i'm gonna build a toy, like a internet connected teddy bear with a touchscreen in it's belly. What options do I have for the operating system?

Cant believe this shit happened in my country today

A mass school shooting where a 13 year old kid shot and killed 9 kids, teachers and a security guard. Several other kids wounded and one girl having brain surgery

All of this because he got an F in history class

He was a quiet kid, well behaved, got straight A's and very intelligent. But he was reportedly bullied and no one did shit about it

This the type of shit you see in america daily. But now Serbia marks #1 country in europe with a school shooting

The kid planned all of this attack for 1 whole month. He drew a sketch on the paper of the school's pathway so he can know where to go, from enter door to exit door. Even wrote the names of kids he planned to kill, sorted from high to low priority

Due to Serbia's law, no one under 14 will be held accountable or go to jail for any crime, and this 13 year old kid was so intelligent of knowing this dumbass law that he executed on this plan Now in May because he turns 14 in July this year

Ironically, his dad was a well known doctor, and now the dad is fucked. Dad's gonna go to jail. Because the kid stole his dad's gun with 5-6 clips of magazine

Very bizarre

I liked to toy with and edit stupid batch scripts in high school and put them on school computers to see if kids run them

Lucked into an internship that was structured enough to learn but laid back enough to have freedom to learn on my own my way. And it included programming
Semester after had a python elective. Was ahead of everyone due to my internship so teacher let me do what I want to if I help other students so I just experimented with stuff

Few months after high school I dropped out of one college after a gap year I ended up in an associates in programming program at another college. Graduated July 2020

I feel I'm doing alright for myself most of the time

36 Hours straight. Admittedly I was on a study drug for this.

I had a mobile application module. The whole thing was marked on a massive project that I hadn't touched... until 36 hours prior to the deadline.

Brought a shed-ton of study/concentration pills from the darkweb, and designed, programmed and deployed in 36 hours (for Android).

... Also got a first in that coursework... mhm..

... And slept for 4 days straight after...

So, listen Kids! Don't do drugs!

Been asked to give a lecture to the freshmen at ye olde alma mater.
They are gonna pay for the air ticket, the shuttle to and from campus and a couple nights at a fairly ok hotel.
Feeling like a fucking rockstar.
...
Gave the lecture. Only half those kids spent the whole time on their phones. My old drinking buddy and now a professor at the school said it was more direct attention than one could expect at a music concert.
...
Feeling kinda scared about how young women dress nowadays, but I do am an old indian dude, so what do I know?
Also, since when is lifting weights and running a half-marathon a requirement for a degree in computer sciences? Turing might have been an Olympian, but I'm pretty sure that since the invention of the integrated circuit my people have spent more time in labs than in gyms. That is not true for those kids.
Maybe it's a freshmen thing, and they will age out of that healthy living nonsense. Maybe the real world will crush it under bills and tuition loan repayments.
...
Tried to ask the university for a refund of the hotel and taxi bills that I've paid out of pocket. Two hours in four different queues and two opposite-sode-of-campus buildings. Suddenly remembered the true meaning of the word "Kafkaesque".
...
Remembering the old uni days with some still-in-grad-school / faculty old friends and getting drunk in the old watering holes? Priceless.

Devs with young kids: how the hell do you do it?

I am a foster parent for my cousin who is 4 months old and I don’t know how in the fuck to make this work. How do you do it? How do you balance code and kid?

For reference I work full time at a tech support place, I go to school full time, and I’m trying to pivot into software development, which means any free time is spent coding/studying code/building a portfolio. Problem is I don’t have free time because of the baby. How in the hell do people do this.

I'm so fucking non-agry right now and really feel like posting the following:

What do you fucks do when not waiting for Windows updates to finish, compiling Linux kernels or waiting for job interviews? What do you guys/ladies do for fun? What would you do if you didn't have to work in this, at times, horseshit tech industry?

I like exploring cities and villages by foot or bike with a backpack full of beer. My wife and I have explored more than 200 places across 3 continents, from London to Chernobyl to out of the way Cambodian towns and 20 hour drunken Paris hikes. We drink in parks like hobos and try to strike up conversations with everyone we meet, especially other foreigners/immigrants.

I also love Formula 1 and try to watch a race at least once a year (went to Monza last year).

If I had many bucks and a smarter/sharper brain I would get a pilot's license...but alas..

I also love playing colorful little kids games on my 3DS.

So yeah, curious what you guys do for fun? Any dreams for the future?

Answering this question is compulsory!

So, my son is in the STEM program at school. They are suppose to use engineering methodologies in their learning process, according to the school. Apparently there is a new engineering process of step 1 try to write code for robot, step 2 build robot, step 3 make CAD design of how you will build the robot, step 4 write requirements for how the robot needs to function, step 5 robot doesn't work right, and step 6 lose robotics competition.

The other thing that is irritating me is they don't require kids to meet deadlines, just whenever you get it done is fine or if you need 10 tries to get it right. This is the second time the whole class has been disqualified from a competition because the teachers can't keep them on task.

I'm starting to really think public schools suck.

PHP is like the janitor in the school who has worked there for 40+ years and is liked by the authorities of the school. He has stood the test of time and has seen the highs and lows of life.

And the new gen-z kids, who don't even know how the world works/recently started exploring the world, hate that man for no reason except to look cool.

BTW, if you plan on commenting anything negative, just remember that the very platform you're using to do so, is built on PHP.

For my design thesis I'm gonna design a banking app for kids. And i'd like to have a look at competitors apps screendesign.
Is it possible to open android and/or iphone apps in android studio/xcode in order to have a look at the screen designs?

Because I'm no kid or parent so getting accsess the legit way is out of question.

Here's my idea. In light of all the efforts to teach kids how to do programming, why not start with an introduction to discrete mathematics instead? From a lot of the programs I've seen, the kids are taught different structures such as if else, while, and for loops, but they don't attempt to start teaching them about recursive methods or even other structures such as linked lists, queues, dequeues, binary trees, heaps, different sorts, and other things. Am I just not looking deep enough into those programs? Or are the creators of these programs not wishing to cover those things because they feel like children wouldn't be able to comprehend such things?

Thank god there are (web) proxies.
The Turkish government is blocking access to many porn sites (which I find kind of ok - to make a barrier for the kids), but then again also German Streaming websites.
They are not blocking most German websites tho. Just the websites in the "illegal to non ethical" category (which I also find kind of OK), but it annoys me.

Guys, why does every idea project I get are already made!

"
Hey I have an idea, I could create a linux distro to replace those 🤬 windows 7 that have office 2003 and all that crap and that always update at my brother’s school.

I should base it on Ubuntu, as it is the most popular distro with the most support on the Internet (for those teachers that can’t enter a 🤬 ‘ , yes an apostrophe).

It should have all those sweet open source softwares to show the kids the open source world.

It should have a centralized restriction thingy.

How could I name it? Oh maybe Edubuntu, yeah that’s a cool name.

*searches it*

🤬 you!

I guess I could contribute to it, but I think it’s dead

A 20-Something: “Hey, why aren’t you dressing up on spirit week decades dress theme days in the office this week?”

“Because I lived in all those decades and my childhood is not a costume.”

“Okaaaay…”

“Because when we dressed up for spirit week in high school we nerdy kids would always get made fun of by the jocks and cheerleaders because we didn’t get the memo that spirit week was only for the cool kids. I have trauma I’m still working through because of that.”

“Geez, I…”

“Look, I got rid of all that shit years ago. Now I’m supposed to go to a thrift store and spend money I earned here for real world needs on 4 new sets of clothes I will wear one time each? That’s literally my gas money to get to this office in an inflated economy. No.”

Me. In my head. Coming up with things to explain myself when I show up at the office dressed like it’s a regular day.

ok, fuck people. i mean the people who talk about things that are a big deal. you don't need to take a course in html/css to build a website, you need documentation.

people act like programming languages are a whole separate literacy. they're not. it is not a big deal, nor an accomplishment of any significance, to learn any language to a basic extent. variables, control flow, functions and scope should not be considered challenging topics, and people should stop bragging about them. i'm pretty sure this is because programming is new. as people, i think when something is new we tend to think of it as more complex and harder to understand. basic programming is not that.

ok that was a tangent from my real point. college is a scam. anyone can learn anything from books and the internet. any time you want to learn about something, go to google, and search "${my topic} site:*.github.io" and you'll have a page about that topic written by someone who is knowledgeable and passionate of the topic. colleges don't teach people how to think like these books/websites do. and i'm fucking sick of people who'd rather see a degree then a portfolio. fuck them shits bro. i can distinct my smart friends because my smart friends speak logically and enjoy becoming smarter. i would take the kid who watches aerodynamics videos on youtube and then built a plane over a kid who studied and got a five on his ap physics exam. watching then doing is better learning than watching and repeating. after all, creativity is not at all measured in our grades, and i'd like to argue that sometimes intelligence isn't even measured. i mean, people can say they're good at math, but the kids who talk about fibinnoci numbers and why there can never be two primes more than 7 (i if i remember properly) integers apart or the ones who prove cryptographic algorithms. i guess what i'm trying to say is the dumb kids aren't dumb and the smart kids aren't smart (well not that) but kids who are passionate and just do something instead of waiting for their degree to do the same thing are the best and brightest. i forgot what i was talking about. sorry it is almost 2 am and i am intoxicated , and i don't believe i got my point across very well either.

I think all our jobs are safe
I've been sitting in a laundromat watching what passes for children's tv because they won't change the fucking channel.

This is not return to oz or something wicked this way comes or even Aladdin's

This is in fact more retarded than the tellitubbies and it will make the gen of kids that watch it amazed with us as if they we were goddamn magicians

God damn

Found this book amongst other 7 grade school books...
Fuck, kids are learning the basis for every technical job this days, in my time even chemistry was only theory... Let alone practical lessons

Family support (2 phases)

When I was younger my mom bought me a 486 from the cow spotted company.

I didn't do much development as being kinda isolated in computer land didn't really make that easy to understand / do, but I messed with everything else.

At that time (somewhere near the invention of the wheel) just exposure to computers really gave a huge leg up on getting into tech.

Moving on until MUCH later in life I was working in tech, often with developers, but not in development. That company was acquired by an overseas company, the head of the new company appeared on the white house lawn and Trump said this would be great for America jobs ... so of course they laid a huge number of people off just before the acquisition.

I was kinda done with that corner of the industry, no matter how good you are / who you work for it was an area that just sort of decays in in importance. I'd go visit the developers and they'd share their excess free lunches they got each day.

Then I'd go back to my corner of the offices and read an email about how the quarterly crappy ass pizza party (that maybe cost a couple hundred busks) was called off due to "cost cutting".

By this time I've got a family and kids, and I decide to take a chance at starting a new career and they were kind enough to go along with my "sleep, care for family, school, care for family, code, sleep" lifestyle for a number of months.

And it worked out.

I legit had this dream early morning today.

A bunch of kids (grade 10ish) were stuck somewhere and helicopters had been sent in for rescue. Strings were thrown down to airlift 'em and just like that, one kid was being pulled up. Everyone was horrified to see that the strings were giving way for just this kid while the others were being pulled up easily. The rescue team attempted the act multiple times but no go.

After all the hullabaloo it turned out that the pen-drive in his pocket had a node_modules folder. Deleting it made him lighter and that saved his life omg. :')

I don’t recall why but a project was in need of an all-nighter and I was the only programmer available to do it. I even brought a sleeping bag and, about 2 hours before people started arriving for work the next morning, I slept in a gap between my cubicle and a wall. I brought a shaving kit and everything. For some reason I didn’t want people to know I had pulled the all-nighter so I had to make sure to get up and look presentable before the first person got there.

When my kids get the mistaken notion that they’ll be able to be like me right out of school and be able to make the money I make and have the flexible schedule I have and work from home and choose projects I like, I tell them my war stories about how I had to work 23 years of some hellish stuff to gain that privilege.

This is why "machine learning" is still flawed:

"Stations you might like:"
- Lullabies & Bedtime Music
- Instrumental Lullabies
- Rockabye Baby
- Toddler Time
- Twinkle Twinkle Little Rock Star
- The Wiggles

Perhaps I should get my kids their own account. Perhaps the algorithm should now that if I'm looking for music after 9:30 on my phone, and not the Alexa, my kids are already asleep.