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Users: Are you going to make your Products cheaper and put better GPUs and CPUs in your desktops and laptops?
Apple:
7 -
CAN WE JUST MAKE IT ILLEGAL TO LET YOUR ENTIRE PAGE JUMP AROUND BECAUSE THE ADS ARE SO SLOW TO LOAD?
FFS!12 -
Whenever you figure out an incredibly simple solution to make your code work after being frustrated by it for hours on end.
3 -
Pro tip: NEVER work when you’re tired, and if you absolutely HAVE to, make sure you do it in your TIRED branch.10
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Really Quora? You're going to make your site mobile compatible, but you're not going to let me use it. Fuck you.
7 -
DX is more important than UX.
First make sure that your developer has the best experience, he will make sure that your users have the best experience.7 -
Ok, so, to every pieces of shit out there that got a "revolutionary idea that will change the way we look at things" and who asks you to code it :
Fuck you, you sons of a cunt
No, i won't make your app on 3 different platforms for free, i'll make you pay for every platform you wanker, i'm a freelancer, i need money.
No, making database is not something that a little business cunt like you can handle, you don't even know what sql means
And fuck no, I won't make that shit in 2 weeks just because your peabrain thinks that it'll make mad dosh and that "It MusT bE eAsy to Do!!111", "a dating app but with a twist" won't work you gobeshit
If you want me to work on this shit, you give me money, specs and shit, you handle the rest, if it doesn't make money, it'll be your problem. I'm not your employee you wanker
Fuck y'all4 -
You know your idea was shit when you ask a freelance dev to make it for you, get denied and then see your idea being ranted about on devrant...7
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When you make major database scheme changes and run your tests afterwards. Here’s to an all nighter!
3 -
A message to all Android developers:
MAKE YOUR APP SUPPORT SPLIT SCREEN.
Sincerely, a pissed off multitasker.12 -
*opens a random website*
*chat pops up*
well done, going to make sure to never click your website again.4 -
When your brain only functions at night and morning meetings with your team make you look like you never coded in your life.1
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When you're typing "make sure noone else is ..."
but your fingers automatically types
"else if"
Damaged beyond repair2 -
If you're going to add a fucking CAPTCHA to your already poorly-designed website, MAKE SURE IT FUCKING WORKS YOU FUCKING IDIOTS.
5 -
The face you make when you're daughter takes your squishy ball and you're forced to make a devRant football instead.
8 -
That moment that you need something but your skillset isn't good enough to make it and your time is too limited to learn it.
I fucking hate those moments.26 -
How many devranters here cook? Post your latest creation!
Pic related, chicken pie I helped make with my girlfriend.
31 -
For the love of God stop having your fucking secretary make the design decisions. "Make the logo bigger"
The header looks like shit if it takes up 1/4 of the screen Karen 😡😡8 -
Fight against procrastination.
//now I can cross "make your first rant" item on my todo list from 2016.6 -
Emojis can make messages playful, fun, exciting.
Your documentation and commit logs should be none of this.
Keep your emojis the fuck out of them.13 -
He: Honzo, you are great coder, but can you please stop using those sexy anime chicks as placeholder images in your templates?
I: Ups, i forgot replace them.
He: Don't worry, client also enjoy it, but he maybe is only one. He also want to know where you found them.
I: Konachan.com
What can i say, i have exciting work.
22 -
Once it really hit me hard. The father of my brothers wife once told me that I'm not fit for IT in general. He thinks that I have pseudo knowledge of IT and Programming.
He just works parttime at home as "computer scientist" and sells routers, pc and such stuff to some private customers. Before he used Filemaker and sayd that he already coded his own CRM with it.
When he said that it really made me sad. But after we talked I looked back what I already achieved:
1. I build for me and friends custom PC's with Case mods and Hard Tube watercooling
2. I can programm in HTML5, CSS3 and PHP
3. I raised a Community with over 60 people in it. We got 2 dedicated Linux Roots (I7-6700K, 64GB RAM, SSD)
4. I manage the Linux Servers on my own with VoIP, Mail-, Web-, MySQL- and Gameservers
5. I built up a complete Community Solution with Game Groups, Forum, Tournament System and a lot of custom scripts.
6. Now Im almost finished learning the C++ Basics to code and manage to learn the beginning of GUI/UX programming.
7. Next thing Im gonna learn is Javascript (Browser) and Java, so I can complete my Web Skills and also can code Java Desktop Apps and Java game plugins (don't rant, Javascript is not the same as Java, I know 😉)
So I thought to myself "maybe in the eyes of others Im not a computer scientist, but then Im on the way to be one at least"
But please dont be a douche (the father) and prejudice me, before you don't know what I already can and achieved.
Just because you're are selling computer parts and installing them doesn't mean, that you are a computer scientist and telling me that I'm not 😉
In IT you're the smith of your own merit!7 -
I don't care what codestyle you want. I even can deal with codestyle I detest. (Looking at you, Vertical Alignment)
There is pretty much only one hard requirement:
It must be enforceable via autoformatting.
I won't manually edit a file because you have a preference.3 -
"Could you quick make my website responsive?"
..sure, just let me press the responsive button on your website.4 -
A coworker just died. He wasn't even 50.
Everyone make sure you're keeping your stress in check, and prioritizing your health. Go get that thing checked out you've been putting off.
This career is lucrative but it has its toll. Make sure you're taking time away.30 -
When you make a tech-ish joke and you have to explain it because your coworkers aren't that tech-ish.2
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Waking up after a drinking night and rushing to your computer to make sure you didn't mess around with your projects 😨1
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*How to graduate in style*
(And prob get arested)
(Because i am graduating soon)
-Make a simple reverse_tcp payload with persistence and encode it with veil or do it yourself. Make sure it connects to your VPS.
- Give it to your classmates and teachers! Sharing is caring!
- make a wallpaper that says "Happy graduation class 404!" (Isn't our class number awesome?!)
- wait until graduation to... i think you know what i plan to do ;)30 -
Would you like to make Internet Explorer your default browser?
Suuuuuuure why not, it will only affect my job and life3 -
RantComics - Make your own devRant based comics with the community!
(Ideas / PRs welcome)
(Subproject of devBanner Org)11 -
If your developing a game and it runs at 30 FPS do not make your menus and cutscenes run at 60 FPS (looking at you farcry) and vice versa, if your making a 60+ FPS title do not make your cutscenes fucking 30 or 24 FPS... It's the most jarring thing and of you do it, go fuck yourself, be consistent7
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When your web design professor expects you to make your whole final HTML and CSS website project with NOTEPAD... 😖😵11
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When your friends/contacts presume you'll make them a free website just because they are your friend...1
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this is ridiculous...
I have to use a tool that only works on IE browser. (yes, I know, sucks. Regardless...)
1. open up the IE. Navigate to https://google.com
2. google is opened in Edge instead
3. Edge insists on setting Edge as default
4. google.com loads up and insists on installing and using Chrome as default.
... I just wanted to search for stuff and instead, I got 2 offers to change my browser....8 -
If your JavaScript and css is not loading on your server, make sure your folder and files have the right permissions.
Two days of running around like a headless chicken because I'm retarded... 😫4 -
Don’t work from exact place you eat everyday or sleep or entertain.
If you can’t focus set timer from 15 minutes to 1 hour and do something else that is not engaging your brain the same way your work does.
Go for a walk.
Take a break from electronic devices.
Take a shower.
Take a nap.
Take a dump.
Make a list of things todo before you eat.
Make groceries.
Clean your house a little.
Make a laundry.
Any manual labor helps if you need brain muscles for thinking.7 -
Make your dream as your wallpaper, so that it reminds you not to stop until you make that dream into reality.
6 -
When all your friends ask you to hack someone for them when you only know how to make websites and games 😤6
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C is nice and all but have you ever had to massacre your code with preprocessor instructions to make your code portable?3
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JIRA, the haiku (w/Bonus Dilbert strip)
Please make a ticket
Please move the ticket you made
Please tag your ticket
3 -
Let me make this clear.. overusing ξ, ζ and ς in your equations or formulae does not(!!) make you smart!4
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Yes LinkedIn, the middle of a pandemic is the perfect time to make a career move.
Turn off your marketing campaigns assholes!
4 -
How to make a movie hacking scene:
Pretend like your typing while running a Linux make build from source3 -
!$rant
"Always make sure to have good documentation in your code."
And I still struggle with this advice xD -
Whoever is reading this...
Have a great day! I know the world is in a bad place rn and everything is chaos but take it upon yourself to strive for a great day everyday. Make sure you eat your food drink your water and take some time for yourself to relax and do whatever makes you happy! Spend some time with your loved ones, start a new project that could help the world, go outside, etc. Make the most of your day!5 -
Top tip back for beginners, make sure your dev and live environments are identical.
And do your testing in dev!1 -
!rant
It's weird how a tiny gesture from someone you care about/like is enough to make your whole day.2 -
Make a script which can basically tell you what is happening on your server from your mobile device basically server analytics11
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I’ll quit swearing when you stop moving user-stories in and out of the sprint DURING THE FUCKING SPRINT.6
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Holy fucking shit germany... what the fuck is wrong with you?! the FUCKING TELECOM CONTROLS MOST OF THE FUCKING INTERNET?! Like holy fucking shit?! And what did they announce? svdsl... SVDSL?! SUPER VECTORING DSL?! I mean... you take the oldest car... make it a little better... you get SDSL... And then? you go for Fiber? no. YOU MAKE THE FUCKING SHIT EVEN DEEPER! You take your OLD FUCKING CAR AND MAKE IT A ZOMBIE! And then you get Super Vectoring DSL... holy shit germany... take your shit together and EXPAND YOUR FUCKING FIBER NETWORK! Fuck.7
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LMAO... Exercise can't make you grow beyond your genetics profile. How did this got into the store?
11 -
Dear Client,
Mentioning "Dear Friend" in email won't make your bug as top priority.
Seriously,
Developer4 -
When your PM files a ticket saying "make better use of space" on your UI feature
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??7 -
The moment when it's absolutely quiet in the office and you accidentally make a weird sound with your mouth and then make the sound over and over again so co-workers don't think you farted......6
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1. IDE connected to your brain that does the coding according to your thoughts.
2. Compiling and deployment for your applications take little to no time.
3. Not having to wipe your ass 50 times to make sure it's all clean.3 -
Does anyone else lose respect for IT or programming companies that use OTHER companies to make their websites?
You mean to tell me, you want me to hire you to make a website, when you can't even make your own? Not happening.8 -
HEY!
JAVASCRIPT!
I wasted 3 hours on your this. self. null, undefined, + asynch functions, bullshit "features"...
AGAIN...
and your taking 8 seconds to compile and test each wild guess that I make until I finally console.log every single fucking variable in order to make sense of it all
so, as usual, FUCK YOU17 -
writing a whole god damn function in one single line doesn't make it "one liner" and it DOESN'T make your code better and more readable!!!2
-
When you look through two year old code and have to make it conform with your new and shiny code.😀1
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Job title: python developer (entry level)
“We are looking for a dot net developer…”
Wtf make up your mind lol2 -
3M used to make sticky notes. Now they make composite helicopter armor as well.
When you need to pivot your startup, do it. There is nothing to be ashamed of.10 -
Be proactive and improve your own projects. Publish them on GitHub, and make sure your LinkedIn profile is set up. You'll be contacted soon by companies for sure!3
-
Is it too many or too few then? Make up your goddamn mind! (the two errors are coming from the same line).
14 -
People say that if you make your hobby your job you will never get bored but isn't it that if you make your hobby your job you would eventually get bored??3
-
Well since vim & git has already been said gpg. you can use it as ssh keys and sign your commits to make sure nothing nasty is added to a git repo under your name
-
School, if you're gonna define a custom local DNS for your networks, maybe make sure it's healthy?
2 -
To whoever builds electron boilerplates.
STOP ADDING FUCKING JQUERRY AND WEBPACK TO THIS SHIT, I DONT EVEN USE YOUR BULLSHIT BUT OTHERS DO AND THATS WHY SO MANY ELECTRON APPS SUCK. WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND THINKS THAT THIS MADE SENSE PUT YOUR CSS LOADER ANAL PLUG IN TO YOUR ANUS AND BUNDLE THEM TO YOUR SINGLUAR BDSM.JS WITH BROWSER BACKFALLS AND BETTER MAKE SURE TO WHIPE YOUR DIRTY SHITFACE WITH A FULL BLOW CSS RESET BETTER MAKE SURE THERE IS NO ACCIDENTAL MOZILLA STYLE IN YOUR CHROME.3 -
Today is “Visit your parents and secretly install Chrome as the default browser” day.
Make sure you’ve visited your parents and switched their IE to Chrome.9 -
When you hash time entries by year and you are freaking out to make sure your server doesn’t crash due to differing time zones while your family is celebrating New Year’s...2
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Make a folder about your idea, generate a visual studio solution about it, and bam, you got something to write in your resume.1
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Why do people think that I'm a computer technician? I'm not here to fix your WiFi or make your system faster. Leave me alone! I got my work to do.1
-
Post your favorite/usefull bash_aliases here and I'll add them to https://github.com/olback/... .
Feel free to mod it/make your own/whatever.13 -
Imagine coding being like designing. Customers would look at your code and say vague things like: "could you make it more cool?", "could you make it more wow?", "could you make the background white?"2
-
Sometimes 3 lines of code can make you question your abilities about yourself, make sure you comment them 😭😭😭😭😭
-
Make sure you are noted for every work you do. Don't let upper managers to take credit of your work.2
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That moment when you understand you are going to commit suicide if you dont make a ":q" alias for your shell1
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Dear Client,
If you could go ahead and decide your product pricing instead of having me publish the wrong pricing and get all your customers excited only for them to see you double the price later? That'd be greeeeaaaat. M'kay?
P.S. I make money when you make money. You're gonna lose money now. Lots of it.1 -
No your nested if statements dont make an ai the same way logging into a txt is not machine learning2
-
Best toothpaste it will make your teeth extra white. As a bonus it’ll get you past border security while they check your temperature all that heat will be appropriately spread out to a cool 98.6F.
4 -
So easy to make typographic attacks on image recognition models.
Depending on your implementation, you may need to change your entire model.
FML.2 -
When you get to the office and see your coworker starting to make coffee...but they always make it with 1/2 the required grounds.5
-
Guys I work for myself and its great (love being my own boss) but after covid I decided to look for work for some company because financial stability is everything in this life
Last job I had, I quit because the boss asked me to make coffee sometimes. We had a good relationship but fuck that 'can you make me a coffee', go make yourself a coffee..
Please god give me patiece..
Pray for me 😅13 -
ArgumentError (wrong number of arguments (given 0, expected 1)):
ArgumentError (wrong number of arguments (given 1, expected 0)):
Rails, I love you, but sometimes you should simply go fuck yourself. -
"White" Background is killing my eyes..
Please make "Black" as default website background color.
(Common google, atleast make dark theme for all of your apps)
(Who think is a good idea that your google launcher background default color is fucking White, Drop your default bright colorscheme bullshit. Hey you fraeking huge company, stop this trend please.)
(For every designer with dark colorscheme, Thank you for making my life easier.)2 -
"It's not easy being a dictator. You have to constantly monitor your citizens, oppress dissent, and make sure your hair looks perfect." - tropico 63
-
Don't translate your shitty software automatically dipshits. I'd rather have no translation than one that doesn't make any sense1
-
Dear Python,
Seriously fuck your horrible compression APIs. What if I want to make a normal stream a tarball stream?
- Me2 -
Do you think your job is actually making a difference to the society? Do you think it's necessary to make a difference?7
-
do you do any rituals to make it psychologically easier to deploy your code into production / replace an existing working system?10
-
When meta-programming finally clicks and your code can make its own code, which in turn makes its own code.1
-
Don't understand file perms?
No prob...just sudo chmod -R 0777 /
and don't forget to make all your S3 buckets public!3 -
I repeat
Make google (or any other search engine) your best best friend.
Understand the art of asking questions.
Dont be ashamed of asking most of the developers no matter the experience still ask questions thats how people succed.
Make some projects .
use sites like hackerrank.
Learn utilise make.3 -
Make someone create a shitload of tests for your shitty code, then don't give a shit when your commit break almost everything, finally; make the guy who wrote the tests figure your shit out.
Bonus points: Whine about something that's been broken for weeks "without you knowing" when the test suites have been saying exactly that since your commit.1 -
This guys in my college talk so much about hacking and make it look like its so cool and all they tell is how to trick your neighbours to make them 'give away' their pass.
2 -
I hate when game developers make games without difficulty settings. Some people are more interested in the story, some are handicapped and so on... Don't tell your users how they should play your game...1
-
Someone should make an app which takes a screenshot of your laptop screen and sends it to your phone when you take a picture of your screen using the app. And immediately goes into crop mode. Not sure how to do it exactly.. It can rely on local wifi to send data with minimal lag, maybe have a QR code icon locked to the launcher, always visible on screen to detect it's your screen.
Please oh please someone make this! I don't know the j of java.5 -
where should I start, having something different to work on weekly, being able to work from home, alot of income possibilities, can easily start your own businesses, compared to other jobs a good community, if there isn't something you want made you can make it, and if you can think of an idea for a website or program you can make it.
-
Day 4 of devWholesome...
Lets try and do something good today! Exercise and eating healthy is important. Go for a walk with your dog today or go on the treadmill. Any amount of exercise is good for you! Make sure you are also eating healthy and eating all 3 meals of the day. Make sure you are keeping up with your hygiene and making sure your body is healthy. And as always, make the most of your day!1 -
PSA: Writing code right now? Taking a quick break to check your phone? Make your effin commit. Git, SVN, etc.... Don't care. Do it.1
-
Want to make yourself feel good as a programmer? Casually run this command on your friend's computer:
grep -r -l ";;" ~/1 -
If you ever make rating request pop up when user makes something else, I SWEAR TO GEEBUS, I'll make you regret your life choices!5
-
Alright, if you don't make apply a little feature, which you already use in your webpage, in your API, I'll have to fucking parse that shit.
Screw you, I'm sacrificing my free time... -
Ideas of things to do while you're running `npm install`: - Make some coffee - Clean your house - Write a book - Text your parents - Balance your portfolio - Go for a run - Play Monopoly3
-
What's worse than being underpaid for your work?
Asking you to make stupid and pointless changes to it time and again.8 -
Colleague: hoe you like your coffee
Me: make it a Latte Macchiato
Colleague: wait what???
Me: see attached image
4 -
"Make your working process clear and thereby attractive to your client"
Yeah , this email sure does ! Way to sell a product 😁
-
Endless loop from workstation to bathroom.
Enough coffee to make your central nervous system depends on it.2 -
!rant
Where the fuck y'all make your resume? My current one is made in Photoshop to accommodate things on one page.34 -
How are you going to make your life better this weekend?
Previous Week : https://devrant.com/rants/86391819 -
The worst part being a designer is when your client has zero design sense and you have make them some shiity stuff
-
Scared of losing your job? Just sprinkle a couple of bugs here and there. Make sure they still need you6
-
What are your resolutions for 2021? What mistakes do you promise to not make any more and what mistakes are you yet to make? What wrongs are you to right next year?6
-
What was/is your plan to make the most of your college time ?
(You know lots of unnecessary classes , homework, etc)
I mean a plan to be acceptable in classes but also make money / or at least learn cool things6 -
When your extreme workstation doesnt make any sound when starting up so you just sit there waiting in tension... :/1
-
Nothing like changing state contract ws-security polices to make your eyes bleed and your brain melt with symmetric encryption binding in WCF services
-
Client asks if we could proceed with migration today, or on monday
We agree on today and proceed to spell out the procedure, if it's okay
Client replies that they would prefer to migrate on monday, and asks how long the downtime will be, and whether it would be possible to migrate without downtime.
Why, of course, but only if your frickin infrastructure didn't consist of a *single* machine!
Ugh, why me... -
Just because your friends are all learning JavaScript, doesn't make it the best language to learn first.3
-
This has been a test from your international weather service…. 📢👁️
Sound does indeed, make rain. Carry on. Goodbye.
-
Have you ever replaced the rubber non-slip feet on your keyboard? If so, can you make a recommendation?3
-
To make something clear;
I'm not undermining you, just disagreeing with everything you are saying.
I totally recognize and respect your authority. -
Yellow represents the lions,the kings of forests
Yellow represents the griffindors, the kings of Quidditch , kindness and bravery.
Yellow represents the Lannisters, the powerful and riches
Yellow represents the Sun, the fire of power.
Join the team Lions today, we got the muscle force here 💪3 -
When you feel like crap but your boss might make you work on the weekend, unpaid, if you take the day off. -_-4
-
PM on the first of the month: Okay, if you can finish the next part of this on-going task by the end of the month that'd be sweet.
PM today: I need you to finish this today. Oh and this extra job for another client has come out of nowhere, but that needs doing before the end of the day too. -
Is there any way to make a file on your Linux or Windows computer where you can back up your phone through the magic of the interwed?
-
Have any of you used Godot Engine to make anything? If so, what was your overall experience with it? I'm thinking of learning it fully to make some game side projects3
-
How do you going to make this weekend awesome?
@thebiochemic How is your game progressing?
Previous Week : https://devrant.com/rants/94806388 -
* music * sun is shining, the weather is good yeah, make you wanna move your dancing feet... * music *2
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Why the fzck do you release new features in your engine and change how port-mapping works but don't make your deployment tool compatible? I look at you docker!
-
Make a difference integration with twitter. Linking your twitter and when you post a dm to @devrant to post in here.
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Didn't know just chewing a gum can make you lazy enough to not get up from your desk and help your teammates in the project. Don't know, either they're fucked up, or I am.2
-
Blender oh how i love you so....until you open your doors to your api.
I feel like i've been catfished.
Seriously, debugging blender addons is i imagine like doing your make up in the dark. -
String displayTextEatDay = cheatDay == day ? "Your cheating has begun! Enjoy your day and make sure you're getting back soon!" : Values.isCheatMode ? Constants.CHEATDAY_PREFIX + "\n\n" + Constants.EATDAY_TEXT : Constants.EATDAY_TEXT;
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