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GF: What are you doing there?
Dev: I've been trying to reproduce a bug for two hours now...
GF: You need two bugs the opposite sex, otherwise they won't reproduce.
From a sad true story.8 -
Colleague: "Python is slow..too much slow."
Then I look at the code:
Eight nested for loops, inside two of them, two function calls and three list comprehension. That function has 2 nested loops and two "objects.all()" Django method, plus a list comprehension too..
Yep, Python is slow.20 -
This is one of the best birthday present I had so far. It's a handmade keyboard where almost every key has a special meaning that represent a little story from my past.
A truly geeky gift from my best friends. Thank you!
17 -
Vacation for two weeks, fuck yeah, two weeks of not having to give a single fuck about customers and their problems.
🍺🍿17 -
It's such a lovely day, sun is shining, think I'll sit outside with my laptop and a beer and continue working on personal project.
(...goes outside)
It's too bright, can't see shit, plus working on two screens is easier
(goes back inside) -
They announce the results and that was where the fucking plot twist was.
I was *not* on the list. I was devastated, to the point of depression. I refused to get over it, sulked at home, fell sick, skipped college for next two weeks straight. It took a few more days for me to recover.
After several visits from my friends and a lot of convincing, I decided to go back to college. I felt hopeless and had pretty much resigned to my fate. Being the idiot that I am, I missed several other interview opportunities during that interim when I was despairing-away.
Semester exams were about to start and I get a call from my staff saying I had cleared the coding exam for one of the companies that was coming for recruitment the next day. I had written this exam like several months ago and didn’t even remember having written it. It was such a short notice and I had zero time to prepare and my psyche didn’t want to(remember how I had resigned to my fate?).
I did manage to make it to the interview. I was expecting a tough interview (this company had a reputation for having tough interview rounds) but all I got was a bunch of tree and linked list and search algorithm related questions (internship interview). I had two rounds. It did really go well but I had learnt to not get my hopes up. Then I noticed other interviewees being called for a third round and they asked me to go home. I was like “meh”. I was used to it at that point in time.
Very unexpected to me, (but i’m pretty sure y’all have guessed at this point) I get a call saying, they have recruited me as an intern! 6 months later, I was working as an employee!
When I look back today, I realize that my current job, in every way, is waay better than the one I had so desperately wanted! The pay, the timing, the location, my actual job description, all of it! As a bonus I have an awesome manager who trusts me! I work with remotely with a team with such high standards and I learn something new everyday.
In my two years here, I have built a couple automation systems from scratch, I have mentored an intern and got him a full time offer, I have had two free two-week trips to the US and I have been promoted once! I’m so glad I was rejected that day (:
Thank you for reading!17 -
Co-worker put in her two weeks notice, then found out the company doesn't pay out remaining PTO.
.. so she took a two week paid vacation with her remaining 14 days. XD3 -
Client asked for Two Factor Authentication as a part of the webapp we're building and then were confused as to why they needed a second password to login
"we don't want to add an extra step into the login process, can you remove it please"
fml6 -
Client: Build me two websites and I will choose which one I like best.
My Mind: Would you ask a builder to build you two houses then knock one down?!8 -
After 2 weeks in vacation, first day back on my job, I spend 2 hours trying to remember my Ubuntu password.
Relaxation is not good!4 -
Dev: we have two days until go live. We got 20 bugs, 5 stories and two people on holiday.
PM: ok so could we get these 3 stories squeezed in as well?2 -
There are two types of people in this world: those who understand recursion and those who don’t understand that there are two types of people in this world
-
After 8 hours of focusing on two monitors at work, I go home so I can focus on my own two monitors.3
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How to develop Android apps -
1. CTRL + C, CTRL + V, CTRL + C, CTRL + V...
2. ALT + ENTER, ALT + ENTER...6 -
Hey look, npm broke my project again. Surprise!
Code and dependencies on my local machine, all untouched for a couple of weeks, no longer works. I've no idea how it even managed that.
Oh, and `npm update` crashes.
eventually solved by upgrading npm and running `npm update --depth 500` because some arbitrary child dependencies changed without updating the parent packages, ofc. on my local machine. without me having run `npm update` for about a month.
because of course that makes sense.
Second time in two months, too.
isn't npm great?3 -
Wanted to automate some stuff through bash scripts but did want to separate tasks so I wrote two bash scripts for data processing.
Hmm.. two scripts..... how could I even further automate thi....
*writes script which executed those two scripts*
😄4 -
Question regarding implementing two factor authentication.
I want to implement 2FA for at least one service I'm writing but I'm wondering, next to email, what services/implementations could I use?
I know that email isn't the best when it comes to security but I also don't want to force (a-technical) users to install an app specifically for 2FA so keeping email as an option as well.
But except for email, any ideas? Anything related to Google/facebook (prism integrated services) are a no go anyways (this has, as mentioned before, nothing to do with my ego or giving myself 'a pat on the back')
As for costs, I don't mind a little bit of money but the service will be free at first and I'm not rich :)
Looking forward to the comments!22 -
Bugfix. About two years ago. Old C# codebase, MVC project... A fucking piece of it was sending money to the wrong Dynamics account, FOR TWO FUCKING YEARS.
Anyway...4 -
There are two records in this table.
I can confirm that the second one is currently being pulled.
One of the values I see getting pulled is different than either two of the records.
😶6 -
“An omelette, promised in two minutes, when not ready in two minutes, the customer has two choices – wait or eat it half-cooked. Software customers also have the same choices.”6
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10 years experience in DoD C4I enterprise hardware and software.
Looks at civilian job (requires A+)
Gets A+
Looks at civilian job (requires Network+)
Gets Network+
Looks at civilian job market (requires Security+)
Gets security+
Looks at civilian job market (requires CCNA)
Getting CCNA
Looks again at job market (requires CCNP)
Fuck...
Job interview "we don't think you have a strong enough background"
Looks back at my 5 million dollar military flying robotic server FML4 -
So this post is going to target an irritating aspect of a specific culture based on observational evidence over the last 20 years, and has reared its hideous face yet again. If you're triggered by that, stop reading here.
I'm flatly fed up with two-faced onshore Desi coworkers. They make up 95% of my colleagues and the following sequence of events has played out repeatedly over the course of my career, consistently, though it's slightly more pronounced in other women for whatever reason :
1. Work with them for years, good relationship, teach them all sorts of skills (which I will do freely for anyone, for any reasons as I view it to be a moral imperative), general lifting up and solid teamwork.
2. They move up in the hierarchy, generally to management, usually project
3. The second they view themselves as higher in the pecking order they start treating me like shit as if we have no history. Rude, commanding, unwilling to share details, obligatory exasperated thank yous if any at all, not interested in anything I have to say even if I'm the noted expert on the subject.
I understand a lot of their etiquette culture, specifically the level of "directness" or politeness they employ is based on the estimated risk of loss in the interaction. I find that disgusting, but I understand that academically. I just can't get my mind around how universal this shiftiness is, as it happens over and over again. It's like human decency and respect go out the window the second they don't feel like they have anything to gain from you. In *my* culture that is the lowest form of behavior a human can exhibit, and it causes me to rage because I can't imagine being so utterly devoid of altruism.
Fuck. It's just so sickening. It's fucking debased, and selfish and greedy and fuck. I can't even, this is one of those things that so irrational my mind can't accept it and I just go around and around on it.
Tl;dr you want to get throat punched? Because that's how you get throat punched. It's definitely getting this person doxxed to USCIS12 -
Considerable size storm. No internet for the past two hours or so. This is so inhumane. Clinging to the two songs I have fully buffered on YouTube.
Send love...7 -
Stougles of a developer whose native language is not English.
1 ANSI keyboard for dev
1 local ISO qertz keyboard for everything else with weird characters
8 -
“An omelette, promised in two minutes, when not ready in two minutes, the customer has two choices – wait or eat it half-cooked. Software customers also have the same choices.” - Brooks.
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I am too lazy to automate a task from which I suffer each month one or two hours (for the last 7 years).. Automation would cost me only one or two hours at most!6
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Two prisoners built two computer from recycled parts, hacked into the security system and also gained access to the Internet. They got caught because they probably downloaded too much porn.
http://gizmodo.co.uk/2017/04/...2 -
I have been in Netherlands for just two days and I am already in love with this country...
Too bad I'll leave in two weeks 😱😢13 -
!Rant
Fuckkkkkkkk youuuuuuuu CLIENT :/
Client asked why two weeks for refactoring.?? When you already know the functionality and he gave us two days.
After two days we successfully renamed everything!!! 😣5 -
I just sent two emails for an internship in two companies.
Hope they'll reply back.
I'll keep you updated on that5 -
Declined a job offer with a startup, partly because of imposter syndrome. Applied for position as programmer, showed up for interview and got cold feet when it turned out they actually wanted/needed a senior programmer/chief technology officer and offered me the position after having asked me no technical questions, seen none of my code or previous projects.
Still, it was a job that paid money... And I'm still jobless two months later :(7 -
My advisor: Can you teach Lean to these juniors?
Me: When shall we start?
Him: In two weeks.
Me: Sure.
And that's how I learn a new language in two weeks!5 -
Well I never! Did you know: C++ is the 'incriment' of C and that C# is C++++ (two + on top of the other two + to make a # sign)1
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Fifteen minutes of coding
Fifteen minutes of specs
Five minutes of debugging
Two minutes of specs (just failures)
Thirty seconds of tweaking
Two minutes of specs
Ten seconds of tweaking
Two minutes of specs
Realize I made a typo due to RubyMine input lag
Two minutes of specs
Ten seconds of fixing and tweaking
Two minutes of specs
And so it goes.
All. day. long.
Sometimes it repeats.
That’s sort of nice.
Is it any wonder I can’t focus?5 -
Read a blog post at work yesterday from the company head of IT security. Line 1:
As part of our company policy we enforce the use of usernames and passwords, known as two factor authentication. However we also need to ensure.....
Stopped listening at this point as I hit Google to confirm the definition of two factor auth.
Nope I'm not loosing my mind, the blog post is insane....1 -
This is a short tale that can be summed up as "oh fuck meee".
After finishing an API the night before I settled in for a day of bug fixes and tidy ups. Until slack went off.
The front end dev was getting an error, a code breaking error. After doing the standard process of request checking i went okay must be me. I find the script that is has the error and the line that it is failing at.
Que 2 hours of the full cycle of anger, sadness, pleading, and finally acepting that it had finally happened I had gone insane. The code was to documentation best practise correct and it still had the same error.
I the cheaked the DB on a whim and I found that my code was not wrong and it was doing exactly what I wanted the data however had a single record that was old and the schema had change juuussstt enoigh to break everything at that record. One 3 secound deletion later code ran perfectly.2 -
I spent two days of debugging for a typo. Literally two characters were switched.
Took my coworker 3 seconds to find it.1 -
sleep. this isn't even a fucking sarcastic answer. my motherboard almost got fried from my drool after falling asleep on my keyboard.2
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Fuck people that do not show up on Mondays because"they're sick".
Thanks for extra workload of two more people on top of my already two-man job.7 -
I wanna have 8 arms.
Two to rip heads off.
Two to tear people apart.
Two to wank.
Two to code.
All at the same time, best.14 -
The bathroom in the building where I sometimes VPN from installed motion activated lights. The sensor does not “see” inside the stalls. Unless someone else enters the room you have about five minutes to perform all acts or the lights will turn off.
Then you are left with options:
1) finish all paperwork in the dark
2) finish all paperwork with your phone’s flashlight.
3) Open the stall door and wave to enable the light.8 -
"I'll just create these two tables without a foreign key. Nothing else will ever need this data except my app."
Another app looking at those two tables filled with information it needs:
2 -
That moment you ordered a "starter set" for arduino just for the cables, servo and sensors, buy an arduino uno because it wasn't listed in the set description and now you have two...
Never thought it would be so cheap (25€ for the set apparently including a arduino uno)9 -
You guys remember that awful Java class that I'm taking at uni? Mentioned in this rant here: (https://devrant.com/rants/1461472/...).
Well we had an assignment to make a program that accepted any amount of numbers from a user and add the unique ones to an array (so if 2 was already entered, it would not be added to the array a second time), and then print the array out backwards. Simple as fuck right?
I checked my grade from the assignment I turned in and see that I only received 10 out of 50 points. Why?
"Program compiles and works with expected output. Partial credit for using ArrayList instead of array".
Uhm.. Partial credit is 10 out of 50?? And what the hell? Yeah okay let me go make this stupid program that involves an array with an unknown length and see how fucking perfect it works out for me.
Fuck you for docking my grade because I made a program that was sensible.
Fucking dickhead. -
When our colleague got twins we put two out of everything into his cubicle: two chairs, two keyboards, two mouses, two lamps, two plants, etc... and two "welcome back" signs too
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60 min before closing on the day all but two employees are on company outing: most profitable client website flatlines.
15 min after closing on the day all but two employees are on company outing: most profitable client website flatlines.
30 min after closing on the day all but two employees are on company outing: Windows Updates.
Well fuck you too, world.1 -
lol. i wanted to make a computer game with two friends...
at first the tasks were clear.
f1: coding
f2: drawings
me: coding + sound
now guess, who now has to participate in all three areas.9 -
Go on holiday tomorrow for two weeks. Not sure what's most scary, turning off my Mac and PC for two weeks or having two weeks of no code.
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Just got my first iPhone today. Any idea on how to get rid of these two? Using the Google keyboard and I hate that so much of my screen is occupied by these two
6 -
Two day off from the deadline, stressed asf- haven't really slept in two days and client is becoming impatient... My back hurt.5
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Why the flying fuck does one indent Java code with two spaces? Coding standards exist for a reason, for fuck's sake!4
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8 hours of networking/static routing exercises...
Result?
Windows bug: system provides two standardgateways
Let me write that again:
Two STANDARDgateways
Neither me nor my teacher found out how this happened -
That feeling when your debugging your code for two days only to relies that the file extension you passed to a method and the file extension you expected are two completely different things :facepalm:1
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If anyone is interested in crypto challenge. This one started 30 mins ago. First one to complete, will receive a free ticket to JSheroes conference.
http://crypto.jsheroes.io3 -
They call it security questions.
I call it social engineering backdoor.
I'm supposed to enter those questions after logging into my account and I'm not able to skip it nor to set a proper two factor method.
Well, fuck you. Did you ever thought about dying by a two factor method? Ever watched a Saw movie? You got the idea. -
Currently working on two site builds in two different CMSes, one using Bootstrap 3 (LESS) and the other Bootstrap 4 (SASS). Great way to confuse yourself 😂1
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Someone in the company wants to make one (database) field multiple choice. HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THIS18
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A language with the ability to write in two different syntaxes is nice until you start mixing the two..
Yuck1 -
I once saw a DBA using two for loops in PL/SQL to join two tables. I wonder if he knew about the "alternative" way to do that...2
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Two idiots, one keyboard. The creators of this clip demonstrate a level of technical stupidity I didn't think was possible.
https://m.youtube.com/watch/... -
that moment when you wait two weeks for client confirmation then he comes back with minor or silly edit then goes again another two weeks...
-
So, there was that post about Valve that send your steam password through an email. I changed my password to see if it was true (I couldn't believe it). And I had to do phone verification....
I thought for a sec it wouldn't stop, but yeah atleast I got the message.
5 -
The feeling of telling your boss that you hate you are putting in your two weeks is a feeling like no other. I'm FREE!
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TAP ONCE WITH TWO FINGERS FOR A RIGHT CLICK!!! ONCE WITH TWO FINGERS !!! NOOO NOT THE TOUCH PAD RIGHT CLICK DON'T TOUCH THAT!!!
NO NO NO DON'T DO THAT...
DON'T SCROLL BY HOLDING THE LEFT BUTTON AND DRAGGING...
TWO FINGERS SLIDE TO SCROLL
BARBARIANS ALL OF U3 -
Dealing with a project which should be together in a single location, but no.. two solutions, two web config files... FFS
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I hate devrant''s 2 hours limitation for posting :( atleast give option save as draft or set publish time (even it after two hours just disable the timer for two hour)7
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The cheapest fucking new macbook air is about a whopping US$1851 where I live
It only has two fucking cores, Apple, TWO FUCKING CORES.
What am I supposed to do with these?8 -
Speaking with my former coworker about networking:
Me: Coaxial uses the Ethernet layer two protocol.
Coworker: No? Coax uses the RADIUS layer two protocol.
And this guy was my "superior." -
I sometimes accidentally press back two times when I close a rant. Can there be something like: "press two times if you wanna close"?2
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well, drawing and nesting two radial progressbars, one clockwise and one anticlockwise, sounds easy i thought. it's two fucking circles, that can't be hard i thought...2
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Ugh, just when I thought I really understood JS after my revisions yesterday, ES6 Ajax requests are kicking my butt today. 😣3
-
And hours of debugging later, I realized that:
"xyz-" + cond ? "one" : "two"
is different than
"xyz-" + (cond ? "one" : "two")
I hate Groovy truth.2 -
Recommendation for mobile css queries?
I want to use one or two queries. Not more. And I find lists of way too many.
Is there a guide that covers like.. two? Two additional widths you should design? How do you do responsive webdesign?5 -
I just deleted two big partitions in the windows installer to make an even bigger one. Now I have two separate unallocated spaces. Nice.7
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I am lucky enough to work in a place where my coworkers are awesome and spending time with them is a blast.
Otherwise I reserve one day of the week for tinder dates, two for myself, two for tabletop rpg and two for my partner.1 -
Two reviewers two comments on the same content, both comments conflict with each other and I'm required to apply both, how exactly?2
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Accidentally JSON.stringified my data twice on the API call and couldn’t figure out why it wasn’t working. One API rewrite and two weeks later I spotted my mistake. Damn that was a shitty two weeks3
-
I don't usually put stickers on laptop bit these two are awesome ;)
But I don't know what to do with these other two..
8 -
I'm unironically VERY excited. In the last month, TWO real people, both of them into devops according to their profiles, have begun watching avtomat (https://github.com/Liebranca/...), and yes I WILL continue spamming the link if this keeps up. Would you like me to stop? Then give me a dislike and tit-slap the "unsubscribe" button NOW to end my suffering!4
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How does this function not work??? It worked TWO phucking days ago... WHYYYYYY??? I hate compilerbuilding4
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Am I incredibly paranoid with my idea of multiple(>2)-factor-auth like fingerprint+yubikey+password+OTP aso?4
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Developers don’t have access to the test database so I had to put in a request for a dba to add two columns and it took over two hours for them to complete it.5
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The worst part about being a dev is having to deal with resource allocation of two hands, three keyboards, two mice 😂and a coffee all throughout life1
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X11 question.
I'm trying to read two properties with XGetWindowProperty.
Opening a connection
Reading
Closing the connection
works, however if I read two
things in one session, it fails.8 -
I'm a web developer for some time now and I want to try something new. I don't know exactly what, but here are some possible "candidates"
- blockchain
- AI
- tree.js/Webgl
What do you think?4 -
@dfox I'm not sure if this is entirely kosher, but if you added an option in a menu somewhere to watch a video or two to support Devrant, I'd partake every day or two.5
-
Iphone 11:-selling one kidney
Iphone 12:-selling two kidneys
Iphone 13:- Selling two kidney , two eyes, two lungs😂😂
Iphone 14:- Selling brain
To whom I am selling brain:- YOUR BRAIN IS USELESS😑
ME:-why
To whom I am selling brain:- If your brain was usefull you would not sell your eyes,lungs etc for a phone
ME:-😶😶😶😶😶😶😓😓
Lol😂😂3 -
God damn it! And all that time I thought it's the dust causing my runny nose and sneezes and that it's exhaustion that causes G feel like 19.8 rather than 9.8.
Turns out, what happens in Grece does not necessarily stay in Grece.
9 -
Put my two weeks in because I'm moving to a different state. Now my boss has made an 180 change in his attitude towards me, awesome this will be a fun couple of weeks....
-
AngularJs:
Two main Controllers (main layout, sub page) and two directives with controllers. Controllers and directives have two-way data binding. All of them use $watch, $broadcast, $on.
BRAINFUCK OF MY LIFE. DO NOT COMBINE WATCH WITH TWO-WAY DATA BINDING. -
Two VSCode windows open, with two "almost" identical files, but they get deployed to two very different contexts.
What could possibly go wrong?5 -
I don't know what it is but yesturday we were missing one team member.. today he got back but now we're missing the other two. This have happend atleast two times...😅
-
Books ( stieg larsson, randall munroe, ...), and very old first aid kit,, 2 handmade ludo games, several keyboards, two ood screens, two notebooks, several harddrives and more stuff that should go to recycling.
-
Follow-up of https://devrant.com/rants/2014517/...
It took me two days to finally get my discord bot to a specific voice channel in my guild/server. It turns out that there are two gateways and one https gateway. The https gateway, the main gateway with a websocket connection and a voice gateway (with udp I guess).
Guess that I will be able to let my bot speak at the end of this week.
The documentation of the Discord API is not so good. It contains examples that won't work even if correctly modified. That is why I joined the Discord API guild/server yesterday and they helped me find the solution to the "I get no response from the voice gateway".
It is only getting more complicated, but I love it. Maybe I love hurting myself lol.4 -
The internet is for two things and two things only: cute cats and porn, in that order. If you’re posting/discussing neither of that, you’re a guest here, so behave accordingly.3
-
!rant
So, at this day I have two jobs as software engineer (I'm self thought). The first one with a friend from high school, a billing platform. The engineer he had flew to Canada and leave him with nothing, so I made one from scratch, I couldn't deliver on time and most of the clients he had moved to another services so the benefits of the deal I made with him ended being less than expected (there was a deadline set by our government as these clients are merchants and the Costa Rican IRS equivalent is moving everybody to electronic billing to mitigate tax evasion). The backend was done using Go, the front-end with React and MobX.
Then, the second job. I'm being staffed to a big outsourcing company for a North American business. The engineer team is small compared to the other departments and the people are really nice. Their stack is Python and React, I'm the only guy allowed to use a different editor than Neovim (Emacs in my case).
between the two I work 11 hours per day, and I'm satisfied with this.
This is way better than my old CS job at Amazon Spain where I couldn't use Emacs to have a decent text editing experience.
Thanks, Lord.2 -
If you're wondering how many hours of Marvel's Snap you can play on your phone per day before it melts your cpu and kills your device, it's two.
Two hours per day.
You're welcome.1 -
There are two types of coders out there:
int main() {
// code here
}
int main()
{
// code here
}
Which one are you?8 -
Was asked to write fsds for a project I've never heard of today, asked when it's needed... Two weeks, asked to speak to pm he's off for two weeks ffs
-
The tokenization of Orchid files depends on the exports of imported files, but in a way that never influences their exports or imports, so Orchid allows circular references.
I sometimes feel like my subconscious and conscious mind use the scope of my projects to annoy each other.2 -
I was thinking about making a PWA website for devRant. It's really only an excuse to play more with some frameworks.
Of course I will make this project open-source so everyone can contribute ;)
What will you choose for this and why?
* Vue
* Svelte
* Marko
* Hyperapp
* maybe even Choo2 -
The conVuesing part about Vue is that there are two APIs + two kind of file (plain js & SFC)
other than that it is good -
Nice. It took me two hours to figure out that Helm was reading from the wrong config file. Two fucking hours. I'll just blame it on Covid-19 and call it a day.1
-
Ok see this "trend" of adding a number 2 to a class name. To denote the new version of an object, surely I'm not the only person who thinks this is horrible. E.g Entity2, Renderder2 etc. It just creates a really bad API, I understand it's needed for backwards compatibility, but honestly there must be a better way....5
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Solve the given riddle?
Two pheasants in front of a pheasant Two behind a pheasant, pheasant in front of pheasant pheasant behind pheasant Tell me how many pheasants.6
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