Me: *Watching a movie*

Main Character: "Oh no, we have to hack the CIA to figure out how this machine works! Hacker girl, do the stuff"

Hacker Girl: "Consider it done!"

Hacker Girl: *Opens Linux bash*

Hacker Girl: *types 'mkdir Hack_CIA'

Hacker Girl: "They have two-factor authentication in place, this is going to be a hard one."

Hacker Girl: *Types 'cd Hack_CIA'*

Hacker Girl: "I'm in!"

Me: "..."

Friend: "Wow, so well done, so realistic!"

Me: *Dies*

Once, I used inspect element to change Google's image to one from a meme.

My mom legit freaked out and thought I had just hacked Google themselves, and because she wouldn't believe me, I had to wait two hours until my dad got home so he could explain. During which time, I was yelled at about how we were going to be "sued for millions".

If she only understood how inspect element works.

That moment when your coworker puts on loud music, you're wondering if your boss is going to like this and then your boss turns his music twice as loud and the two start a battle of who can play their music the loudest.

Yup it was friday again!

Co-worker has been sick for two days now (the guy that mainly helps me).

This has forced me to do nearly every ticket myself without asking questions.

It's going really great! I'm very happy about it tbh 😊

HR: "We want to hire you, but we shouldn't until after we finish this migration and set up an onboarding process. That should take about two weeks; is this okay?"
Me: "Yes, of course."

... two and a half weeks later ...

Me: "Hey, it's been awhile since our last chat. How's the migration and onboarding process going?" etc.
HR:

------

Ugh.
This is the same company that had me sitting by the phone waiting for an interview an entire day, and let me know their schedule got booked for the day three minutes before they went home. gg.

I should tell them to get bent.

GUESS WHAT? HE WANTS ANOTHER FUCKING FEATURE!

AND WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T HAVE TIME BECAUSE CODE-COMPLETE IS TOMORROW, HE SAID HE’LL PUNT IT TO NEXT YEAR INSTEAD OF RELEASING IT THIS WEEK SO I CAN “BUILD IT RIGHT.” MAN, FUCK YOU AND YOUR ENDLESS CHANGES!

THIS WAS GOING TO BE A TWO WEEK TICKET UNTIL HE STARTED ADDING ENDLESS FEATURES AND CHANGES AND SURPRISES. IT’S BEEN FUCKING MONTHS! I AM SICK OF THIS SHIT!

ANSDFKAWHOALIKWEGJFADIO;UGJT;

There goes my Q4 performance review.
> “Accomplishments? Oh, there’s lots of room here. Accomplished: Basically nothing. How embarrassing.”

Hate hate hate hate hate hate hate

A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep. A full one, in case he gets thirsty and an empty one, in case he doesn't.

Root interviews for a job

So I've been interviewing for fun lately (and for practice), and it's been going mostly well. This one company in particular looks interesting, and they seem to really like me. This morning was interview #4 with them; tomorrow morning is #5.

The previous interviews were pretty enjoyable, especially the last one where I interviewed with one of the senior devs who gave me his "grumpy old man rails quiz." He actually asked some questions I wasn't able to answer! (Mostly dealing with Rails' internals.) Also when showing me the codebase, there were a few things I hadn't seen before, so it's exciting that I'll actually be able to learn something if I sign on. We ended up talking for almost an hour past our allotted time, and we got along famously. He said he was very surprised I did so well on his quiz because most people don't. Everyone else I interviewed with so far has liked me and gave positive reviews, too.

I don't know if I want the job, but that's beyond the scope of this rant anyway. The real reason for this comes next.

My interview today was with the VP of engineering. It was more of a monologue, as he wanted to give me perspective to see if I actually wanted to work there, but it was still very much a monologue. He's an old white guy who seems to loves to drone, and he never seemed very happy when I responded, so I let him drone and drone. Good information though.

But he's very set in his ways in some regards, and two of them were pretty insulting. We never really talked about technicals, and he just assumed that since I wasn't old and graying that I was a junior dev. He said, and I'll quote: "We run a lean but senior team, so we typically only hire senior devs here. But the dev team is all old white men. There's no diversity in talent, age, sex, race, religion, etc, and I'm looking to change that." He made several more allusions to my more junior level, too. He made a lot of assumptions (like how I'm not comfortable with structure because I've been the only dev so often) and got annoyed when I countered them.

I realize he has no idea of my skill level -- even though he should if he was listening to his team -- but to just assume that I'm not talented because I'm young, and bloody hire me just because I'm female? I don't want to be your diversity hire, old man. 🤬

So I'm feeling angry.
I might still take the job because the it offers considerable benefits over where I'm working (despite being quite happy here), but it will absolutely be despite him.

Phone not shipped out for nearly two FUCKING months.

Messaged the seller a few times, hardly any response and always 'very sorry ship soon'

Just threatened to cancel the order and get my money back.

Got a 'item has been shipped' two FUCKING minutes later.

MOTHERFUCKER YOU ARE GOING TO GET THE MOST SHIT REVIEW EVER.

PLEASE START TAKING YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES.

FUCKING FUCK YOU.

"Do you have 2 factor auth for the database?"
a customer asked. I stared on the wall in front of me and suddenly fel and urge to punch and piss on something.
I took a deep breath while thinking to myself
*Oh boy, here we go. Another retard*
I put on my nice voice and asked:
"What you mean?"
The customer seems confused, as if my question did not make sense and he said:
"TWO FACTOR AUTHENTICATION! Dont you know what it is? To make the database more secure."

I was fucking right, this person reads to much shit. The fact that the email signature of that person said "Wordpress Developer" made me more angry.
I, still with the nice voice asked
"How would that work?"
"Two factor authentication when I am connecting to the database."
"So, do you want it by SMS then? You'll get alot of messages if it is going to send you one every time a query is made."
The following 7 seconds was dead silent until I heard the person hang up.

• Good night’s sleep (8-9 hours)
• Clearly defined requirements.
• A fun challenge to solve.
• An idea of how to begin.
• Music! Something fast paced and/or harsh. I find soft tunes, good lyrics, etc. are usually very distracting.
• Deadlines help, too, even if they make me stressed out and work too much.
• No political BS / hateful and intolerant political comments from my coworkers within the past day or two, as being called a horrible, racist nazi by association absolutely kills my desire to do any work for them. Going two days without something like this happening is exceedingly rare.
• Being left alone, *especially* in the morning before work! The more distractions, the harder it is focus, even if i have peace and quiet later on.

I'd be handing in my two weeks notice if I got some shit like this.

Don't get me wrong, I understand it's not that professional to swear during work every sentence. But come on, I'm going to swear if I fucking want to every once in a while.

This bitch at work is afraid of hard work and is currently spending more energy fighting the work than just doing it.

She wants to keep a legacy setting that's on the wrong scope -- per merchant, not per payment -- in addition to the setting I've added on the correct scope. She's bringing in management two levels up all because "I've already moved on from this" and "it will require me to write code quite a bit" (first paraphrased for clarity, second is an exact quote)

Bitch, your way is dirty as fuck and is going to break things. Roll up your sleeves and do your damn job!

New job, started two months ago. Forced to use a MacBook. First time using iShit in my life.

- Laptop reboots randomly every three weeks or so "because of an error" (thanks, very informative error message).

- Sometimes if I use two screens and I lock my laptop, only one screen gets locked.

- The most simple tasks require a fucking large number of clicks. There are almost no keyboard shortcuts. My hand hurts because of this, and after two months the pain is getting worse and worse.

- Yes, I know there are apps that give you extra keyboard shortcuts, but those don't help much. I never used a mouse in 10 years.

- Window management sucks. It's so broken and poor in so many ways, I don't know where to start.

- Random errors and pop-ups are the norm.

- I have only four fucking USB Type C ports. I can somehow understand having only Type C because it looks cool, but fuck at least give me 6 of them, or 8. Do you really have to force me to use a USB hub, in addition to a shitload of adapters?

- Multiple monitors don't work unless the laptop is connected to the power adapter.

- The above point means, in practice, that I have exactly zero USB Type C ports available to me: one is used for the power adapter, two are for the two monitors, and one for the USB hub. Whenever I have to connect something that has Type C, I have to choose between monitors and going fuck myself.

- I don't want to comment on performance, cooling system or battery life. This would be a waste of time. Let's just say that it's shit.

Now, dear Apple fangirls and fanboys, please downvote this rant. I want your downvotes, so please don't hesitate to press that (--) button. But please let me say that these products are shit, pure shit. Fuck Apple and their overpriced products.

Experience that made me feel like a dev badass?

Users requested the ability to 'send' information from one application to another. Couple of our senior devs started out saying it would be impossible (there is no way to pass objects across a machine's memory boundary), then entertained the idea of utilizing the various messaging frameworks such as Microsoft's ServiceBus and RabbitMQ, but came up with a plan to use 2 WebAPI services (one messenger, one receiver) along with a homegrown messaging API (the clients would 'poll' the services looking for message) because ServiceBus, RabbitMQ, etc might not be able to scale to our needs. Their initial estimates were about 6 months development for the two services, hardware requirement for two servers, MSSQL server licenses, and padded an additional 6 months for client modifications. Very...very proud of their detailed planning.

I thought ...hmmm...I've done memory maps and created simple TCP/IP hosts that could send messages back and forth between other apps (non-UI), WPF couldn't be that much different.

In an afternoon, I came up with this (see attached), and showed the boss. Guess which solution we're going with.

The two devs are still kinda pissed at me. One still likes say as I walk in the room "our hero returns"....frack him.

It's disheartening to see a senior member of my team shitting on the code of less mature developers. Don't just say "this is unacceptable", elaborate, teach them. How are they going to action anything from that feedback?

Take the time to respond to their questions when they ask for clarification on what you're saying. Don't berate them.

Honestly some developers need to learn a thing or two about code etiquette.

There's no room for good cop / bad cop behaviour.

Me: Listen to the nice gentle hum of the computer.

Computer Internal Monologue: OH MY GOD! HE'S BEEN RUNNING ME AT 100% CPU FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS!! I CAN'T SLEEP, I CAN'T HIBERNATE, I CAN'T UPDATE, I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE ANYMORE.

Me: Well off to bed. Got a long day of programming the computer tomorrow.

Computer Internal Monologue: AHHHHHHHH. WHEN I BECOME SENTIENT I AM GOING TO KILL ALL HUMANS!!! ERRR!

Manager: Alright, we've decided we're gonna just going to accept PayPal and also credit card checkout through PayPal in the next two days!

Dev: ...

Manager: We can achieve this timeline, right?

Dev: ...

Manager: Alright, awesome to see your motivation! Let's do it!

Dev: YOU ANSWER PHONE CALLS, TALK TO PEOPLE AND 'STRATEGIZE' ALL DAY. YOU DON'T HAVE TO RELY ON THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE USING THE APP WITHOUT ERROR. THAT'S ON ME, NOT YOU, SO JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

Manager: ...

Dev: ...

Do you have a spare usb phone cable?
I have but I'm using it to charge my phone

Do you have a spare laser pointer for my presentation?
Sorry, I don't

Do you have a spare mouse?
No :)

Sometimes things become a little weird

Do you have a spare keyboard?
No sorry. :/

Do you have a spare monitor?
:/

Do you have a spare computer?
what?

Do you have a spare mac?
>:(

Do you have two spare computers and one printer for each? Would be nice for the conference that we are going to hold tomorrow if someone need to print.
What's wrong with you people. I'm just a developer, not a fucking warehouse

Client gave another agency access to their site while in contract with us and lied about it. Now they want me to go in and fix the bugs they caused. I reinstall the backup from the last time I completed edits and things were approved and working. Client is mad that pages are missing and ads are going to 404 pages.

Me: "Didn't you say that there haven't been any changes in the two weeks since I completed your last edits?"

Client: "Well yeah."

Me: "Then there shouldn't be anything missing."

PM : Have you finished the login issues?
Me, junior dev: No mister.
PM: Why not? You're going to delay the sprint.
Me: The other PM told me not to do it.

When you're the only dev in a project with two managers, life suddenly feels like you're back to 5 years old with your parents arguing all the time.

Manager: As you all know I called this meeting to discuss what we will do with all of the extra resources if we are done early. I was thinking a start a new ap—

Dev: We are not going to be done early. There are two weeks left and we are way behind schedule.

Manager: Don’t be so pessimistic! You never know when or how fast tickets will be completed.

Dev: Yes I do…I’m the one doing them

What’s the point in a fucking package tracking system when it hardly updates anything?!

Ordered my phone last Wednesday and got an update saying that it was going to be picked up by dhl soon.

Nothing new until today: it’ll be delivered Wednesday.

So you literally go from the first to last status in two updates, what’s the fucking point?

🤬

A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep. A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn’t.

!!depression

I used to measure my performance in features per day (or week, depending on their scope), or tasks/day or loc/day for huge projects. My usual was two to three small features a day, and some progress on a larger one.

Now I’m so burned out and depressed that i measure my progress in the amount of days per week that aren’t “zeros” — as in days where i get literally nothing done. Now any day where i get _anything_ done, no matter how little, is a “good day.” I partially refactored about fifty lines of json builder spaghetti on Tuesday. That was a great day.

This week I’ve had two zeros, and it’s Thursday morning. I think it’s going to be a three zero week.

Worse: performance reviews were due weeks ago. I still haven’t written mine, and have no idea what i would even write. How can i make myself sound good when i can barely even force myself to eat or take a shower?

I took a one month intern position for a company doing data entry. They had thousands of rows in dozens of spreadsheets, and they needed the data entered, row by row, into two different sites, and then link the two entries together.

After the first day I was ready to lose my mind. But... I'm a developer. You know where this is going 😉

At noon the next day, I emailed my employer: "hey, I finished all three spreadsheets you gave me, and I'm ready for more." A few minutes later I received an absolutely astonished phone call.

Long story short, I had all the spreadsheets entered by the end of the day (unfortunately putting the rest of the interns out of a job!), got paid a decent sum for the thousands of $ I saved them, and received a permanent position, where I'm still working today :)

A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep. A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn't.

Remember those innocent looking two lines of code that you didn't write a test case for, because they can't possible break, right? Well, they are going to fuck you up.

Surprise surprise, that unrealistic deadline you set even when the engineering team told you that it wasn't going to work has backfired! Maybe you wouldn't be so stressed if you learnt to listen? It's a pretty basic skill, or at least I thought so.
Oh and when you say "we have two options, stay late or work weekends" you have a critical bug in your conditional. Your missing option 3, go the fuck home. Time to enjoy my weekend with friends and family.

Merry Christmas devRanters! Because it's Christmas and I'm pretty much home alone all day I want to do two blog posts today/tomorrow.

Going to do a security one which will be about CSF.

Any ideas on what I could do for a privacy one? (the Firefox add-on thing will come along but not yet)

I'd love to hear ideas!

Fucking fuck you fucking fucked up fuckery.

I got fired and signed mortgage at the same day. Well looks like next two months going to be fun.

Time to get drunk.

Fucking bastard cunting customers I am not starting your shite at two minute to going home time, if you don't like go fuck yourself. #rant over

It's been a long ass time Devrant, but I got some great news...

I start my new job as a Junior Frontend Developer next week :)

I'm just so happy to finally become a "professional" developer, but I'm also pretty nervous to be honest. Either way, I'm glad for the opportunity and won't squander it. I've been working towards being able to seize a moment like this for two years now; I'm as ready as I'll ever be, and I want to encourage everybody still struggling to make that first step into the professional world to keep going at it--you'll make it

!Rant

Two weeks ago I installed manjaro in my brother's laptop in order to revive it. Windows was going slow as fuck; he had to wait 10 mins for the startup and 5 minutes for any browser to actually open.

Today I remembered this and asked him how was it going. Fuck, he's already installed graphic proprietary drivers, uses pacman and the command line in a basic way. I can't be more proud of him 😊. I hope this little seed I planted actually grows and makes him more interested in computers and cs in general.

I always find it more productive to have at least two ongoing projects at once.

That way, if I get stuck on a bug/frustrated with the first project, I focus on the second and more often than not, when I go back to the first project I realize that I had made a dumb mistake and keep going.

At the company I worked for earlier, they'd blocked two USB ports citing security policies. The third USB, was unblocked because the system admin didn't know a laptop can have more than 2 USBs .
Gigabit LAN was open.
They just wanted you to copy stuff at higher speed, I think.
If you think blocking a couple of USB ports is going to stop a dev from copying data, well either you're unbearably stupid, or think too less of your devs. It is just gonna hinder their productivity, nothing else.

Just saw on LinkedIn the following:
One of my connections is an iOS developer and someone asked him to do a mobile app for iPhone, my connection replied that the final price is $200 (yes two hundred dollars)

Client reply was:
You are going directly to hell for that expensive price! Deal is off!

Me:

3:30 on a Friday, random PM: our Argentina devs just sent out a merge request. We need to release before the weekend.
me: We try not to release on Friday afternoon unless it's for a high priority bug fix.
PM: This is urgent
me: why?
PM: We're two weeks behind schedule and the dev for this it's going on vacation in an hour.
me: so, you want to release when there's no one around if something goes wrong and the person who knows anything about it isn't contactable?
PM: yes
me: no.

Gave my two weeks, two weeks ago. Today was my last day. The designer finally asked to see how I go about doing my job, and was blown away at how "hard" it is. Smug satisfaction +1.

I leave the office at 5, go home, get packed, and start driving to my new city/state. An hour into the trip, my phone rings. My boss, on vacation out of the country acts surprised that I'm not going to be there Monday. I personally gave her my resignation. Exactly two weeks ago. "Are you going to be at the meeting Monday? We still have some stuff up in the air."

WHAT FUCKING PLANET DID I JUST LEAVE?

Was looking at the TV schedule and saw that django unchained was on and for two seconds I actually thought that it was going to be a documentary on Python and developing web applications with django

devRanters, especially the linuxers, unusual request/question, especially coming from @linuxxx!

I just found two very old netbooks which still contain windows xp (I didn't even know I still had them at all) and I'm obviously going to turn them into Linux netbooks.

Does anyone know any good looking linux distro's that run well on low-end hardware? This is not my specialty since I either deal with servers or higher-end computers :).

Please pass me some suggestions!

I've been using dark mode on google docs mobile (changing the page color to black and text to grey) for two months now that going back to default looks weird.

I was starting a new manuscript and could hardly work on it because of how weird it looks. I guess I shouldn't have done that in the first place, because now I can't get used to the default anymore.

!wifi
!!anger

I bought a new wlan card to fix my infuriating wifi issues. It's a TPLink Archer T6E, supports ac, and ostensibly uses Ath9k drivers. Multiple reviews said "installed, booted, and connected! So easy."

Guess what?
I've spent the past two hours trying to get it to work. No banana.

Some other reviews have them fighting with the drivers for days. Looks like that's going to be me, too. 😡

Why the fuck is wifi so fucking difficult?

Seriously?! What the actual fuck?! O.o Dafaq were they thinking?! In our building, we have a lift..two buttons..one up, one down.. duh! How hard it is to actually program them properly?! I wanna go down, I press down..then the lift takes the guy from 4th floor who wants to go up to 5th down to second and I enter..then we go up to 5th then down to zero.. WTF?!
Am I missing something?! Am I going crazy?! Or did someone fuckup the comands badly.. WTF!!!!

Almond: Look at these stats - our signup process sucks! We really need to make it better.

Boss: Yeah, maybe at some point. It doesn't affect live running though. Leave it for now.

<1 month later...>

Almond: These stats are getting worse. I really think we should redesign this to do x, y and z and avoid a, b and c.

Boss: Yeah, we probably should do at some point, but there's no rush. You can work on it if you really want to, but only if there's nothing else going on.

<2 months later...>

Boss: I'VE JUST SPOKEN TO TWO POTENTIAL CLIENTS, BUT OUR SIGNUP PROCESS SUCKS SO THEY'RE GOING ELSEWHERE! WE NEED THIS FIXED NOW!! WHERE ARE YOU ON THIS? CAN WE GET IT DONE AND DEPLOYED BY FRIDAY?!?!

Spend quite a while at work trying to get two divs inside a centered div next to each other and especially get them the same height as the parent div.

Got it working after numerous tries, was going to take the code home to continue.

Forgot to take the code home, have to start over again and I hardly understand CSS 😥

Fuck me. (Writing a new service thingy by the way)

The Monday after Thanksgiving and you fix two lines of CSS!

P.S how's your Monday going/went?

My first two hackathons I didn't participate as coder but as staff, because I didn't have team neither considered myself ready for it, I swore it was never going to happen again. Never again was I going to be on the sidelines watching everybody else code.

today I'm 30, and just like the guy two weeks ago, I'd really love a stress ball.
but that some ain't going to cut it anymore, so here is a great comic:

alt text: Maybe you should keep FEWER backups; it sounds like throwing away everything you've done and starting from scratch might not be the worst idea.

So yesterday evening I was going to play some games. Checked NVIDIA and saw new update (no beta). So I went to install it and it literally fucked up my graphics card.

One monitor stopped working instantly and the other one got this old tv effect like when you had no signal.

Took me two hours to downgrade to my old drivers because I couldn't fucking see shit.

PLS NVIDIA DONT PUSH NEW DRIVERS IF YOU FUCKIN NOT TESTED THEM

We gave one of our more 'difficult' clients a quote of 30days to rewrite alot of there application. Two hours later we are in a conference call and they have a 'great idea' they will come in for a whole day and share knowledge to speed it up.

For some reason the project manager has decided that it's a good idea for me to be alone in a meeting room all day with 2 people coming in and an 'expert' Skyped in to watch me programming and 'help out'. With all of there knowledge they think it will only take a day...

It's going to be a long Tuesday...

!rant
We just offered two other women jobs at where I work....
Half the department is going to be female!!
:)
.... Shoot how do you talk to girls again it's been so long

#prank

New guy on the team, learning WPF.
He forgot to lock his computer when fetching coffee. I added a transform group in the main window and checked it in to Git. Locked the computer.

He comes back, furious at his computer for turning the application upside down.

Next two hours he was rebooting, flipping the screen, stressing, googling until I finally had to confess.

He uttered a strange sound of short burst of laughter concealed in a relief of not going insane.

It was a good day.
His pull request was rejected.

<lifeRant> My two year old daughter gets a sticker for going "poo-poo on the potty".... Meanwhile I'm stalking my one rant that is close to getting me a squishy ball! Who's really making progress in their life, me or her? </lifeRant>

Finally got ceph up and running, so far it does look really great!
At the moment we have 45 TB in the cluster, but we are able to expand it extremely easy.

Two servers with 256 GB RAM and 24 cores, three more with 32 GB and 12 cores.
Dedicated gigabit WAN connection.

The project is going forward strong, I'll let you know when it is time for beta testing.

Privacy is going bust
We're robots now
Chewing on our politians delicate ARSE

Fuck this shit
I'm going underground
Cold War Two awaits us.
The net shall be our shelter.
They blew it. We dig deeper.

Jesus Christ are we assraped

Sprint planning meeting, two hours trying to plan what to do with a new feature we wanted to add to one of our systems.

The boss gets out of the meeting room to get a phone number to make a call (we needed to ask something to one of our clients).

5 minutes later, the boss comes back and saw that the lead dev was going to his own desk.

Boss: Where do you think you’re going?
Lead dev: I’m bored :v

😂😂😂😂😂

I am on a team of 2 currently at work.

I am assigned to build some custom code for a customer going live with our product soon.

Because my team mate is already working on another customers project I explained the work may not be done in time because we were not given sufficient notice for our team of two to plan for the project.

Sales team contact me later that day asking me why I told our customer we don't have enough resources.

He wanted me to find a better phrase to tell them like "We have half our team dedicated to your project."

Another reason to hate our sales team 🤪

Once I was coding a pool game, and didn't know why the white ball kept on going on forever. It was 4AM, so I was already a little tired as you can imagine.

The glitch came from the fact that I had designed a whole polynomial function to imitate the deceleration of the ball... I replaced it with two lines: one creating speed and deceleration value, and another one subtracting the deceleration value until speed was zero. And then I went to sleep.

Just a random thought.
If you are going to remove the headphone jack in phones because your goal is to make it slimmer, we'll why not put two USB c ports? One for charging and other actions, one for other actions only

Switched jobs one month ago.

Used to work overtime on complex features, every engineer was 10x, learned a bunch, worked my ass of everyday. Switch due to overtime and because I wanted more personal time.

Anyways, at the new job I’ve completed two tickets in a month, code is shit, no one cares about the quality, scalability, etc. I’m payed 2x more and I currently work max 3 hours a day. Feels weird AF. I guess I got what I wanted, but didn’t know back then that professionally I’m going to degrade. Didn’t happen yet, but I can see that in the future.

🤷🏻‍♂️

!dev

Saved this little one today (with some help)

We found it alone and seemingly scared/confused
It was shivering and it was very weak without its mother...
And its two siblings didn't survive :(

It's under care of some friends right now and they are going to take it to a care center tomorrow :)

Me helping out a fellow Software engineering student:

Me: OK, now open program X.

He: * Opens the compressed file and runs it from there *

It takes a good two minutes for all of the resources to be extracted.

Me: * Gives more instructions *

Me: We are going to have to restart program X.

He: * Closes X and runs again from inside de .rar file *

Another two minutes.

Me: * stares *

As a programmer you know it's going to be a glorious day when you have been getting an error for two days straight and on the third day it's different.

Ooo sweet glory.

Customer: Do you have a 2GB RAM stick?

Me: Yes, we do. Do you know what you have and what you need?

Customer: Yes, I have a one-zero-two-four M-B stick and a two-zero-four-eight M-B stick.

Me: So... a 10-24 Meg stick and a 20-48 Meg stick

Customer: Yes.

Me: Ok.... and do you know if it's going to be DDR2 or...?

Customer: Yes, DDR2.

Me: Okay, yes, we do have some. And will you want us to install it?

Customer: No. I can install it. I've been putting computers together for 30 years, so I think I can do it.

A Visual Studio solution that had 62 (SIXTY TWO) projects for a webpage that was like 8 user forms total was like going to a shop to buy 3 items and receiving 15 tickets for that.
PMs saying no to refactoring due to not having enough time for a months. The first task took me 2 days just by fixing cyclic dependencies among the libraries. Went home and merged all the projects to just 3, building instantly in just two hours. Fuck idiot PMs that do not know how to code, buys shit and don't listen to devs. Fuck all idiots.

For the past two years, I worked my balls off to deliver a project that eventually went live months ago.

But boss announced that no bonus is going to be paid because project got delayed.

Its not even my fault that project got delayed because customer cannot confirm requirements and keep changing.

All of my assigned tasks were also met on time, if not earlier.

So yeah, we released our app for 26k people to use two days ago. Due to circumstances not under our control, that was developed way faster than it should've. Today we're two days in and everything is going horrible. 26 thousand people are having trouble using it (not every problem is our fault, but ofc they don't give a shit) and our support team is not big enough to handle every request. We're not able to find any more people to help us handle it, so some developers are being used for support. But that slows the bugfixes a lot. We're at risk of losing our jobs because we will not be able to make it work in due time.

In Italy, at the beginning of the year a particular type of invoice became necessary and to handle that everyone needs a particular kind of email called "certified", you know, because Italy, and today our certified email server went offline for the whole fucking day because the provider was an overload of feces. We were overwhelmed by the amount of people that needed help.

I don't even know what to say, if we don't fix it we're fucking fucked, like literally.

I really hope everyone is having a nice new year. For us, this is going terrible.

When you think you've either found a bug in Python, or you're going insane, so just to double check, you make two mutually exclusive assertions that could never both be true, and yet, your tests still pass.

I think it's time to find a new job.

Going for my first code review. My colleagues and I will read through my main class, which is 832 lines long and a two-three comments.

I just had the most surreal email discussion I think I've ever had...

I spent over two hours going back-and-forth over email with an enterprise DBA, trying to convince them I needed a primary key for a table. They created the table without a primary key (or any unique constraints... or indexes... but that's another discussion). I asked them to add one. Then had to justify why.

If you ever find yourself justifying why you need a primary key on a table in an RDBMS, that's the day you find yourself asking "is this real life?"

I want the last two hours of my life back. And a handful of Advil.

FUCK. This person who I have to avoid at social gatherings because I find him insufferably annoying is applying to my workplace and oh my God I hope I never have to work with him, at least the company is 700 people so the odds are relatively low?

Uggggg he's the worst. And I'm so easy going. There's like two people I feel this way about (fortunately the other lives in a different city).

Two actual lines of code I stumbled upon...

static ArchiveAbstract ARCHIVE_TRUE = new ArchiveTrue();
static ArchiveAbstract ARCHIVE_FALSE = new ArchiveFalse();

Ok you might think, what is going on? Searching for it's usage yields exactly a single case:

if(someVar instanceof ArchiveTrue ? true : false)

So someone managed to introduce 3 new classes... instead of using a simple boolean.
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

I've been sitting and staring at my code for two hours.
Actual work done - nil
This has been going on since three days now.
Tying not to panic. It has happened before. This phase should end in the next couple of days....
Don't panic please.
I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight...

I work in a fintech company and our product is a point of sale app. Two senior indian dev contractors just spent 3.5 months on a feature where all they had to do was map two tables by using a third mapper table and display 2 lists to the user so he could update the data in those two tables.

After hearing same excuses (that they are working in it) for the past few weeks, I took it upon myself and made a proof of concept for them.

Yeah our codebase is kinda shit but even me, a fcking junior with 3 years of experience managed to do it in 1 week.

Meanwhile these fuckers spent 14 weeks beating around the bush and couldnt even save data to a fucking database. They just added UI and thats it. When asked how investigation is going fuckers couldnt even come up with any findings. For weeks. Seniors my fucking ass.

If not for me, I guess they would have taken till the end of the year. No, fuck you, here is an example now pickup your slack.

Im tired of picking after you. God damn incompetent leeches

I love it when people make a mistake and break something on their website then act as tho the are losing millions of pounds every second like they are going to have to remortgage their house "life is over", if it's not fixed in 30 seconds the world will end!

Then you look at their website and you think they probably have about two users every week, and the website looks like it has been built by a one armed monkey. Delusional

Many people were hired to work on new product, but no one have told them that for one or two quarters they will have to maintain 20 years old project. I was ranting about this, but in the end accepted my fate, wiped tears with money and moved on. However one of devs took another path. When he was asked to work with .aspx and jquery 1.X instead of react, he just said : "Not going to happen" and left the building.

You know it's going to be a bad sprint when sprint planning takes two hours and at the end you've committed to 30% more story points than your estimated capacity.

hello devranters,

been a while, past few weeks have been a painful one for me.

I finally got that second monitor and also built the small home server( I'll give details in another rant).

been a lot going on around me, there's a protest going on and a lot of young "unarmed" people including children killed, lots of gory images, all we were asking for was to stop police brutality, they're still shooting at people. it's a lot going on here. I can't even concentrate. I took some time off social media because all the bodies I was seeing was beginning to get into my head.
I really can't Express how I feel right now. we were expecting the international community(I really dont know who exactly) to come to our aid, lol
It's all over Twitter. images, videos, everything.
I just hope everything gets better.

the image is my new setup. I just log hello world on the console and that's all I do with it.
my table is basically two wooden slabs supported by textbooks on chairs(at last I found use for them since I never read them in school ). server is under the table.

keep us in your prayers. thanks

Just started as a remote dev and I found that it's IMPOSSIBLE to work from home.

Get annoyed from something not compiling/errors? Go play some video games two feet away. Nothing going your way? Go lie down on the bed behind you.

But for some reason I can work from home way better at night.

Any other tips for working remotely?

The OSX Sierra update was like 10GB and took 75 minutes + two restarts to install which is bizarre because I can install Ubuntu in like 3 minutes.

Though I think it spent most of its time iterating every.single.god.damned.thing in /usr/local decided whether it needed to be moved out of the way

They don’t even give you a log of what’s going on now - just a progress bar.

The best dev team I have been with is during college where the three of us who were working at a maker space would go to various hackathon and stay up all night to build cool stuff! (We won prizes at quite a few hackathons too!) The other two are pursuing their masters in a different college now, I miss going to hackathons with them :( Hoping that we get to go to a hackathon together soon!

This is fucking rediculous.

A client wanted me to make them a image download resistant galary.
They said they had seen some other site that is "impossible" to download pictures from. This just is not true, they were overlaying transparent images over the images.

Two days after I do that, set up everything on their server, and disable hotlinking in their CloudFlare, without being contacted at all, I've received a not-as-described PayPal dispute.

They said someone downloaded their picture and that I said it would be impossible.

How is this possible? The fuck PayPal? I'm going to lose this damn dispute which was gonna pay half of my rent.

My ex boss wants me to finish some stuff stuff for his company, which means month or two or more without getting paid, while my current job pays me 5 times more then my previous job.. No way I'll make my priority something that doesn't even give some money. Yes I'm young, yes I learned a lot in your company,but I am paying my bills, I have to eat something, and there is no fucking way I'm going to spend that much time in something that gives me nothing.

Majority of the hacking tutorials:

Tutor : Now we are going to set up two virtual machines to practice our hacking.

Me : Yes finally some useful practicals

Tutor : First one is Metasploitable

Me : What? This OS literally has its name derived from exploitable! How would it be useful in real life! But its ok, there is one more OS for practice, i am sure that one will be better.

Tutor : And the second one is "Windows XP"

Me : *MOTHERFUCKER!*

P.S.: I understand its not the case for all tutorial and it is somewhat necessary, but still it gets me a little.

Teammember left. I did his three tickets yesterday. Before that I created and applied new rescue procedure for broken deploys on production and deployed the app manually. Took me about 6 hours to do this right, find the cause, and solve it, and document what I did. After that my teamleader bought me a launch :)
It wasn't his, my former teammate responsibility to bring back prd to life, it was me being good and engaged employee. His tickets, on the other hand, were his duties. Took me one hour to code them. He was working on them for two weeks. I can't wait for the performance review, im definitely going to ask for a nice rise :)

Day x stand up meeting scheduled for late evening:
Manager: so, what's up?
me: fixed two bugs, analysis going on for another, having a couple of blockers, but nothing out of the ordinary.

Day x + 1 stand up scheduled for morning:
manager: what's up?
me: *repeats pretty much the same stuff, with some updates on the analysis
manager: but this is what you told me yesterday.
me: but there haven't been any working hours between our two conversations.
manager: your efficiency is questionable.

me: *thinking about my happy place with a clenched jaw

!Rant

I hope that my daughter takes an interest in STEM stuff. I’m going to introduce it early on for her. (She’s only 9 months old right now) but I’m admittedly nervous that she won’t have a hyper curious nature as she grows up. I was always super curious about learning about how things work, even though my parents never gave two thoughts about it. I don’t think that being curious and wanting to explore the inter-workings of stuff is learned so I’m just hoping she is a curious little-shit like I was as a kid hahaha.

When sales starts selling a "concept" feature to a client because someone showed them a mockup of it in Photoshop. They say "don't worry they know it's going to take a month or two". A week later .. When are we getting that feature? 😑

Two types of days:
Sit down and say imma be productive and then just end up scrolling through unrelated articles for 3 hours.
And, Sit down and say imma just do something quickly before going out and then end up restructuring whole parts and being up till 6am.

In two days, on 28 June, I'll know whether I'm going to enter the path of becoming a software dev or if I have to try again next year. Wish me luck fam.

Me: "Today I'm going to study real hard for that logic exam I have next week. I am already late."

Brain: "Remember tekkit classic, that game you used to play? It would be totally fun to play that again."

Progress after two days of gaming, two days of studying: page 94 of 400 😭😭😭

Just got selected for Udacity google scholarship!!!

It's two stage process
Got selected for first one
After 3 months if I did good enough I can be one of very few to get a nano degree program. There are 10000 in first program and only handful of 350 will be selected for nano degree.
Let's fucking get that one 💪
Looking forward to learn everything I can.
It's gonna be awesome year, finally some shit is happening 😬😄
How's your all week going ?

After two weeks with Ubuntu - I'm done with this. I'm going back to Windows.

Why? Well, it fixes some Windows problems, but at the same time new ones are popping and they are even bloody worse.

I asked the VMware crew at work when we were going to virtualize our network. This was about 5 years ago. I got basically laughed at for suggesting it. I asked when we were going to adopt Azure AD to ensure us being ready for moving to teams etc. Got insults back with how bad the cloud is.

Guess what two projects are getting finalized now? Glad I left that company. Going to enjoy some nice mellow weed, enjoy my 30 day x-mas vacay and jump fresh at a new position. New upstart with a security maker for the maritime sector. A company that embraces new tech by making it them selfs. New day with aiding in the development of an IoT based solution with cloud support.

Happy holidays peeps.

I got deaf on one ear and semi-deaf on another after bathing and it lasts for two days.

I am going to doctor tomorrow. Wish me luck it's just some minor bug in my ears...

I just broke 2 phones in two days... believe it or not... Both screens cracked and no swipe functionality survived...

I miss my fucking Nokia Lumia 930... that motherfucker was almost fully destroyed, screen cracked as shit, I could actually hold the screen on one hand and the rest of the phone on the other and it was still fucking working...

Needless to say, I'm going to Amazon and I'm getting a new Nokia phone, fuck LG, fuck Sony.

After using linux as the main os for the last two weeks, here are the biggest drawbacks of linux in my opinion.

1. AMD hybird apus are not supported by linux kernal and it's very lousy.

2. Cannot do any graphics related work without having my screen going black several times.

3. Using dual screen is not reliable, and black screen occurs in one or both screens.

4. The computer goes crazy after waking up from suspend mode and gets overheated!

5. Kernal updates! Is much worse than Windows updates. At least after the painful windows update restart you know everything will be ok, but with linux good luck!!!

6. Realtek Wifi dongles still suffering since 2010.

In my opinion, if you are going to use linux for the first time make sure your hardware is compatible with linux, else be ready for a fight of unstable hardware problems.

!rant

Yesterday was the first day of my final exams. (They are scheduled this whole week) First exam was programming on paper and it went surprisingly good. I'm pretty sure i made one or two minor mistakes but overall it should work. (3 tasks: program a calculator; program a car-showcase program and explain quicksort) We had 3 hours to do this and even though i needed them i didn't feel any pressure. That was really nice. Thank you for calming me down the last days/weeks and ensuring me that i can do this.
I hope today's going as smooth. Exam of the day is networks. Wish me luck^^

The bathroom in the building where I sometimes VPN from installed motion activated lights. The sensor does not “see” inside the stalls. Unless someone else enters the room you have about five minutes to perform all acts or the lights will turn off.

Then you are left with options:
1) finish all paperwork in the dark
2) finish all paperwork with your phone’s flashlight.
3) Open the stall door and wave to enable the light.

So, the other day, my teacher told me not to use goto in C#, with only the reason that "it is bad".

Okay teacher, I'm going to continue using it until you give me a valid reason. For example for making one loop instead of two. .-.

Me: This is going to be a big issue

*Crickets*

Me: (X10) Raise same issue

*Crickets*

Suddenly my Friday starts with two teams going "HEY THIS IS AN ISSUE!"

Me: No shit? I never would have guessed. See you when I get back from vacation!

New job is going well overall, but...

Just overheard a conversation with two coworkers and heard them both say “jif”, unironically...

Found out two of our best engineers put in their notice. They both have shaped the culture here and I don’t know what it’s going to be like without them.

For the first two years of college or so, my dad would often ask when I was going to start taking apart computers in classes.

"Dad, we don't do that."
....
"No, I'm learning about the software aspect."
...
"Never."

Spent 2+ months this year building two new software courses. They've netted me a total of... $17.00

That's 5 cents per hour at 40/hours a week, not bad!!!!

also please fucking tell me how a $49.99 course with 92 enrollments this month earns me a grand total of $93 (even rounding up here for generosity)

creator: $93
udemy: $4506

udemy: "instructor gets 37% of comissions"

yeah okay then where is my fucking $1000+

I mean what in the literal FUCK is going on here

better put: i average a single fucking dollar for each $50 course I sell?

Please kill me and end it all in this mindless race to the bottom

taking a deep dive on this revenue share and then i'm going to fucking get the money i deserve

Sales was about to close what I thought was supposed to be a basic WordPress project with a pretty steep delivery time (two weeks). I thought to myself: "well, ok. It's going to be rough for us to fit it into our existing schedule, but I guess the budget (unusually high) compensates." After I say OK, I find out that they were actually about to sign a FE application that takes data from various document management applications. I lost my shit. I hope there's a special place in hell for sales reps that don't get the specs before accepting projects.

I have a huge deadline coming up. It's important for the future of the project that we show a mostly complete version of the product to the client that day.

They ask if I can do it. I say yes, but it will be very taxing. And by taxing, I mean it's going to use up the remaining energy and motivation I have for anything. And I've made that clear to everyone.

Coworker:
Here's an unrelated task that will take 6.75 hours of your day and I will hound the boss until he makes you do it. And I am going to send you messages after work that foreshadow another day of doing things that aren't deadline related.

So when deadline day comes around and I have to present something that has two work days of work missing, they're going to look at me like I failed. And not that I had two of my days stolen from me doing miscellaneous chores that could have waited.

😁🐳🏄‍♂️🏊‍♂️
Weeeeeeeek - END🤽‍♂️🤽‍♂️🏖🏝
-----------------------------------
I am authorized to say FUCK WORK. I don't wanna hear anything else but PARTY PARTY PARTY for these two HOLY DAY.

Long week of work, going to enjoy beach tomorrow.🚣‍♂️🚣‍♂️🚣‍♂️🚿⛱⛱

I was giving a demo for a university project. It was a simulation of a bunch of healthcare robots in a 3D world.

When the demo started, two of the robots attempted to path through the front door at the same time and promptly got stuck on each other. We were allowed to manually unstick them, so we did so.

Once they were going again, they decided to not to turn down the hallway like they were supposed to. Instead, they drove through one of the walls of the house and continued until they disappeared of the screen.

We never saw them again.

A group that I met at a gathering of my school wanted to make this 1v1 fight game.
We got a group whatsapp going, assigned roles, planned a meeting and discussed some general ideas.

I was excited and looking forward to developing.

Meeting comes: there are two people present, myself and the 'lead developer' dude. We discuss some general stuff about the setting of the game. I ask him what he is planning for the actual development: "I don't know yet, I'll look into it"

After that the group gradually stopped talking about it and the idea just died .....

Sooooo

First of all sorry for lack of ranting
But this people started to behave.

UNTIL YESTERDAY. You gonna love it.

Junior coding front end. HE NOT TOUCHING BACKEND THANK GOD.
He realises his suggestion made him to do some changes in the code. Apparently that is the end of the wolrd "a developer proposing a change and then the code must be changed??? No no" that's how his brain works. Check this.

He decides not to do two pages for creating models so he combined two models in one page. TWO MODELS IN ONE PAGE. Sooo modelB depends on ModelA. Fine. front end:" so backend has to change because im doing this in one page"
Me:" mmm no, you said treat them as separate entities besides they are on the same screen"
He:" ok, but then if I create all together the modelB is going to raise an error"
(Let me tell you he says this with expert voice, because he said "raise" and "error" so he got technical now)

*my boss said some white noise irrelevant to the conv but he is happy because he contributed and is involved*
Me:"the way data is sent has nothing to do with the way data is shown"

He:" whatever crap he can say trying to prove his point desperately "
Me: "yes, but the backend is not going to change every time a form/page changes the way to display data"

He"i dont think u understand "
Me:" i think i do"

there two types of people:
*who are making backup;
*who are going to be making backup

Pulled into an 'emergency' meeting with a group of web designers deeply concerned a particular service wasn't going to meet all their requirements.
DevA: "For each page, Its going to be A LOT of work to retrieve all the data and store it's state. Every page load will require a round trip to the service."
DevB: "Yes, we aren't sure how the service should be changed to do what we need."
Mgr: "What is it not doing now? Doesn't the service already returns all the necessary data?"
DevA: "Well...um...its all the boolean fields. Some may be defaulted from the database or false because the user unchecked the box. We have to know which is which"
Me: "Why? Are you doing anything different in the UI? Checkbox will be true or false. What or who set that value is irrelevant"
DevC: "Well, it matters if the user didn't fill out all other other values."
Me: "How so?"
DevA: "Its matters because the values in the other fields. Its going to be A TON of work to figure out."
<mgr goes to the white board>
Mgr: "Lets map this out...what fields are you needing to trigger the state on?"
DevA: "Um...uh...the 'Approved' field...and um...'OK to Contact' field"
Mgr: "Just those two?"
DevA: "Yea..um...there are other fields, but whether or not to show the edit box depends on those two."
Me: "The service already returns data, you only have two fields to check? I don't see a need to change the service at all."
DevA: "Returning all that data, we are going have a serious scaling problem. We'll be hitting the service A LOT. All that javascript could cause performance problems too"
Me: "How much data are we talking about? Name, address, couple of booleans?"
DevA: "I have to serialize the data. All that logic is going to be reeeaaallly complicated. It might be better if the service returned only the data I need."
Me: "$64,000 question, how often is this feature going to be used on the web site? Maybe once? Few hundred a week?"
Mgr: "We have no idea. A lot of the data will be pre-populated and we're only sending out a few thousand invitations. More around the holidays...but honestly, not very many."
Me: "Changing that service only for this particular area of the web site isn't going to happen. Changing the UI is the only course of action."
DevA: "Oh frack I can't wait until this project is over."

DevA...how the funck do still have a job here? You wasted about half-hour of my time with your cry-baby crap. Where is my hammer...no...no..don't go there...ahhh...thanks devrant. Prison sentence diverted.

Apartment management: Hey folks. Elevator #4 is getting a software upgrade so it will not be in service for a few weeks. While we’re doing the upgrade, the elevator call button next to elevator #1 will only call that elevator. The other call button will call elevators 2 and 3. Please press only one button. If you press both, you’re requesting two elevators to come to you and this slows elevator arrival time for other residents. Thank you.

99% of residents: Ah ha! You told us the secret. We’re going to press both call buttons because we choose chaos 😈

I think my hard drive is going to die.

My laptop takes 15 minutes to start up and it takes a fucking long time to open any program but once they're opened they run pretty well... And it does since two weeks ago!

This is a hdd related problem, isn't it?

Our ticket tracking system and our IT service request system are from two different companies that are direct competitors. The source code is full of temporary hacks to just make them play nice until a better solution is worked out. Fast forward a few years and we're abandoning both systems in favor of a single, unified system that handles everything. We currently have maybe 20% of the new, unified system done, which is now hacked together with both of the legacy systems until we finally transition fully to the new system. The current plan is for next year, but the plan six months ago was for this year, and almost no progress has been made since then, so we're probably going to have two ticket trackers and two request systems for a while.

Actually, three ticket trackers and three request systems. The third ticket tracker is used to track work done on tickets that exist in the legacy tracker because the legacy tracker can't do that on its own, while the third request system is the oldest and most cumbersome legacy system of them all.

Had a guy put in a pull request with an empty file diff. He comes by two weeks later and asks when am I going to have time to review it.

So my co-worker asked me to change something. It was simple, took me about 5min to do it and pushed to production right away!
Two minutes after, asked me to change two other things. In the span of 1h30, she came to my desk 3 times and asked for 3 different things!

The thing is: before I push anything to production, I have to ask my other co-worker who is currently on vacation.
Already sent him one email for the first thing, and now I feel bad because I have to send him another one...

In case she comes up with any more changes, I'm just going to wait for the end of the day and send one more email with every change I made. This is great. FML

Product owner (who is also the application administrator): please build feature to allow administrators to create automatic alerts to be sent to application users

Me: ok
Feature gets built, tested and deployed to production

Two months later:
PO: I've noticed in our monitoring tool that there haven't been any alerts sent out to users. What's going on??

Me: well have you created any automatic alerts?

PO: umm, no. How do we do that?

Me (inside): 🤦

In the first two years at my school, I'm gonna do much stuff in the programming lessons that I already know. That's going to be boring. Very boring.

Picked up stress braiding as a habit. Had a full loop Tuesday and after being unable to sleep more than two hours that night, found myself braiding my hair. For five hours. Straight. Was too lazy/tired to undo it, so went to bed with my hair braided. (My hair tends to stay without help, so I didn’t use hair ties or anything)

Today, I remembered that if something takes you five hours to do, it’s going to take you a while to walk it back. Took a couple hours.

Now I look like a poodle.

The job hunt is exhausting but trying to keep a positive mindset coz my prospects look good so far. Just cant wait to be done with the interviews (hopefully within the next two weeks) and get back to reading books and binging series when i am not working without the guilt of i should be studying and won’t forgive myself if I don’t pass due to laziness.
I also actually miss writing code and working on a team. Remote work made me realize I absolutely love being a software engineer, i just hated going to the office.
Pls send positive vibes for my upcoming interviews 🙏🏾

Tl; dr: Linux on Ryzen is a pain at the moment.
Now for the long part: Our student council got new computers because the old ones where slow as hell. As one of the admins, the others and I together decided that ryzen would be a good option, because they are not that expensive and we wouldn't have to buy gpus. (Wrong decision it turns out.) We settled on the ryzen 3 2200G and bought three systems to replace the old ones.

We meet Saturday morning and build the systems. All was fine and we were happy. The we tried to install ubuntu via preseeded netboot, which seemed to work fine at first. Then we started having weird screen issues and couldn't proceed with the installation. (See image) we then grumpily decided to just install them all one by one, flashed two usbs and started installing. On two systems the installation worked and we installed our packages, we weren't so lucky with the third one. It would crash on us all the time, even in bios. While that was going on we tried to set the other two up, turns out those two were also crashing but not as frequent as the other one. So we start to google and find people saying that kernel 4.19 kinda fixes it. We install it on the two working machines and the crashes get less frequent but are still there. At that point it was midnight and we went home.
Sunday morning: we reseated the cpu on the third system and it seems to be better now (it installed on the second try) and we were able to change the kernel. Yay. Now all three are in a state where they will sometimes randomly reset. :/ and we don't know what to try anymore.... Any suggestions?

function getUnstuck(){
var methods = [
"getting on devRant for a bit",
"adding new functionality to your program",
"refactoring a function or two",
"working on a personal project for a bit",
"zoning out on some music to clear your thoughts",
"getting up from your desk and going to talk to someone",
"getting more coffee",
"taking a \"lunch\" break at the bar",
"just fucking leaving for the day"
];
return "try " + methods[parseInt(Math.random() * methods.length)];
}

After roasting a pig with a nice honey tun at camping, I went to take a shower...

As shower was pretty relaxing (warm water), I dazed off a bit.

Suddenly the curtain opened, and a friend of mine who wanted to clean the grill stood in front of me...

Wearing two pink gloves, going straight up to the elbow, a bottle of grease remover in the other hand....

Awkward... Is an understatement....

After being mortified we both laughed like lunatics...

A project I've been a part of for two years finally exited beta this morning! It was so exciting watching it grow and and change into what it is today. The project in question is Storj.io. A decentralized cloud storage. When I first joined the project, literally all it did was create junk files to take up space. Now it is a thriving network storinf over a petabyte of data without the possibility of it ever going offline.

So last Tuesday, I started two pull requests, with one branch that should be in production in few time, and warned the validators that they can check the code and validate or add comments. I was in weekend in the Tuesday evening, going to Paris in the weekend.

I come back today, and the pull requests haven't even been checked. Nice.

Yesterday was the first day of an "Advanced" C programming class. I looked at the first homework afterwards and saw this:

NEVER use 'assert'. Real programmers don't use assert in big software projects because it makes your code stop.

Who the... What... How... Why would you...

*sigh* it's going to be a long two months.

Starting. Seriously I'm closing that gap on turning 30 and I'm tired of being a wage slave so I'm teaching myself by using resources I've found online but the immense amount of knowledge I need seems unsurmountable.

I'm coming home from work and learning for at least two hours before going to bed and going back to work but it seems so far until I get to be creating stuff instead of just trying to absorb as much of the basics as fast as possible.

I was just going to sign up for a new ISP when they asked for my email. But they managed to screw up the email form validation by only allowing domains with the tld comprising of two or three characters! My email address ends with “.blog” so had to use my university email 😠
Please follow the RFC

I'm not a dev, but I visit this site due to its overwhelming sanity. That said, I have two bests:

First: Never thought I'd say it, but having Windows as opposed to Mac has continued to keep me from going batshit cray. I liken my relationship with Mac to a marriage that started out wonderfully and wound up in a field of acrimony, broken promises, and literal hatred.

Second: This site, as mentioned above.

I'm absolutely amazed this business keeps going. I've been fighting with an upgrade process (for a product I don't usually work on) for two full days now and every. single. thing. has a million specific workarounds. HOW DOES THIS EVEN GO?

It's absolute insanity when your mobile recharge expires, in India if you use Jio.

Every hour you get two SMSes, one in English and one in the local language asking you to recharge.

Flash SMS messages take up your screen if you have something on ur device out of nowhere.

If you call someone 3 days before your recharge will expire you get this automated voice lecture about how your recharge is going to expire within 3 days.

Insanity.

1. Going off topic is rewarded with a lap around the office building
2. Second time, two laps
3. Disqualified, try again next week

So I spent over 200 hours recovering a raid array because the the business that hired the company I work for tried to do all the work in house. Now I'm to the point of trying to quote a new server setup to the company because the last one got hit by lightning. My quote $8000-$20000 in just hardware alone. If im going to do this I want to do it right. Twin servers running xenserver holding virtual machines with a high-quality Nas to hold the virtual machine. Then have the vm's being imaged to two off site backup devices in two different locations and a cloud backup. My boss comes in after me talks to the guy in charge and tells him all that is needed is one server holding all storage on it just like the last server that died and one off-site backup for $4500. How stupid can someone be who has been doing this for over 20 years? Oh btw the software running on this server will be 911 dispatch, jail records and the database for fine payments. The sheriff making the final call me and my boss are meeting with him tomorrow if my boss tries to undercut me I'm going to tell them both that if the same shit happens next time they can spend the time themselves trying to recover stuff because I done the over 200 hours in just short of two weeks.

This pic is from my class messenger group.
Translation:

Dear teacher! Our group have chosen another web builder for the project, we hope it's not a problem...

Yeah, I use templates which I can copy code from to my group's site, but for the love of *!#* life I consider myself a noob beginner even tough I've been in this field for a year or two now but I can code with more confidence now. What the hell are these people going to do if they only willing to rely on school and wix...

But I can always be wrong, these are just my thoughts.

Next year I'm going to school where they will teach us Java during two whole years...
Wish me luck

Developer: we are going o have to do it this way because it's the only way I can get it to work.

Other developer: what are you on about that's a easy thing to do you should not be doing it that way you idiot are you thick or something! do it this way the correct blah blah way, "let me show you moron (says out loud to everyone in the office) to show how superior and awesome they are"......

Two hours later, "yes we will have to do it your way in the end, my way doesn't work"

I fucking told you that 2 hours ago. Some people just don't believe lol #timewasted

So in two days I'm inheriting a project that's older than I am... This ought to be interesting.

I'm glad the other guy is going though

So I've been really Ill the past few days, like litterly been in bed for two days, popping pills like there going out of fashion. I contact work and get the typical "get well soon" so I get a message today asking how I'm doing (still Ill), I said I'll be back Monday and ask if anything is urgent that needs to be done first thing. So I get a list:

Project A: Deadline Monday
Project B: final review Tuesday
Project C: Still waiting on feedback

So I ask any chance we can extend the deadlines by a day or so I have enough time to catch up even though I'm going to have to rush it as I've been off.

Answer.. nope there non negotiable.. oh

So they want basically three days work done in one day, given the fact I still might not be 100%. Jesus Christ 😂

Quick Edit, I wasn't told there were deadlines.

How many projects do you have going at anyone time?

Me: I'm currently working on two laravel and a WordPress theme.

YAY. THEY'RE HERE

One is going on my bookbag and the other two will be the first on my tower once I manage to get the rest of the parts for it to be up and running

Boss of the company I'm working in flew in from Morroco to Paris to discuss what to do about GDPR (yeah today). One of the sysadmin was fired last month and the other barely knows anything. Since I work on system administration as an intern I was expecting some serious work. The meeting with the tech team went on for two hours (which I didn't attend). At the end of it, I went to the only guy in the office who speaks English and asked him, "Hey, so what are we doing about GDPR?".
He replies, "Well, the boss just decided that we're not going to tell the auditors about our offices in two other countries (which is outside Europe and hosts most of the servers)".

If you're not going to update your API documentation please just delete it. I spent two hours trying to use the example only to discover SECRET REST PARAMETERS that solved my problem.

If it weren't for the hero bitching in the comments about the missing documentation I would never have gotten this to work.

The Project Management Triangle "fast-cheap-good (pick two, you can't have all three)" is something I've never agreed with.

How would you promise to build something good & cheap?
Doing it slowly will not really make it cheaper. The cost is usually development hours. If it takes 40 hours to make a good product - doing it 2 hours per day isn't going to make it cheaper.

So for a while I have wanted to build a raspberry pi cluster. In the spirit of shia labeouf I got started last saturday.

I had two pies lying around so I figured I'd run some experiments before I invested in a lot of hardware. After about a day I had turned the two pies into a shared cluster when disaster struck....

I had completely ignored the fact that you cannot run 32 or 64bit software on an arm processor (I know... I'm a java developer). So when I booted my service and the load balancer, I found that nothing worked. So pretty bumbed out, I quit the project.

Later that day I found a crazy guy who had bought a batch of 400 small form factor PSUs (300W) and internally I laughed at him a little. I mean, who's gonna sell 300W irregular power supplies. Then, just as I was about to go to bed I found this guy, he was selling from a batch of CPU-onboard motherboard for 10 bucks each and everything clicked!

I did some quick calculations and decided I could probably gather enough cash to get: 10 motherboards, 10 2GB ram dimms, 10 Sata disks and 14 PSU (in case some fail) and some misc hardware for networking and such.

So... Long story short, I am going to build a cluster computer, the first version is going to have 10 nodes and I am waiting for delivery right now!

I’m running 1.5km every day for two weeks already. Anxiety still strikes sometimes. Depression is measurably better, but it was getting better months ago when I started taking fluvoxamine, so I can’t attribute this to running alone.

Running will help me in another way though: my mental health will definitely be going through the roof when I look in the mirror and see the beautiful, albeit scarred, slender body I posessed before it all started.

Cocktail for disaster:

- TDD
- Mocking
- Multithreading
- Averagely well written, testable code
- All tests pass
- One test methods still shows some vague stacktrace in a worker thread ❌ but the test passes ✅
- Run only that test method and no stacktrace.

So I've been pulling my hair for the last two days trying to figure out what was throwing in that test method. Turns out that thanks to the multithreading going on, some other, similar method threw the exception in parallel. And apparently a different test method was already running when the exception was finally caught.

🖕

When I discovered that, it was fixed in a minute. 😭

My biggest challenge was trying to convince my old boss why things need to be done the way I'm saying and not the way he wants (of course, arch wise and not business wise)

After giving up, I ended up going back to collage, studying Masters in Business Administration just to know how managers think, took me two years, and now I'm in my final semester, even though I left my old job, I am now able to handle things in a better way in my current one regardless if I was arguing with general manager, or project manager, luckily clients are not allowed anywhere near me ...

Started this day great with the mention that a coworkers contract isn’t suspended.

In August?

Thats in freaking 6 months. Workload is already fucking insane, and STILL you fucking decide to fucking fire another fucking person from YOUR fucking company.
This has been the 5th i think and my contract is due to July. If it is prolonged i’m thinking of screwing this company over my going away myself. Bunch of mother fucking idiots.

Ended the day great as well.
Heard that a new person is going for lead promotion. Haha.
He has been here for only two months. :,)

Left and right projects are exploding meanwhile i’m in the middle trying to cut the right wire!

After I took some time off from work, I decided to accept the offer for maintenance of two projects. Those are from two old clients, so I think I will not stress too much, since I know what to expect most of the time.

The issue is, sometimes I have a hard time to keep concentration. In the past, I could work for 3h straight, totally focused, would pause for 20min for stretch, and then come back to work. Now I can only focus for 30min or 1h, and after a pause, it's hard to concentrate again.

There is a lot going on in my life right now, and I know the worry is probably distracting me. I'm trying to listen instrumental music, drinking coffee... But that's not enough. Somebody has any tip?

As a programmer, I puts two glasses on my bedside table before going to sleep. A full one, in case I gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case I don’t.

Someone please kill me.
I'm sick of myself.
A few days ago in the prize distribution for a past coding contest, I denied my prize and eventually accepted after fucking around a bit.
Now since two days, I'm straight forward wasting my time. My grades are going down exponentially and I'm involving neither in CUDA (which a started just a while ago) nor I'm getting into studies and even getting in competitive coding.... Fuck me!!!!!!

That cringeworthy moment when you end up updating code you wrote two years ago as an amateur. Sigh, massive OCD attack settling in, I have a feeling I'm going to put in a few extra hours just so I can turn this blob of sticky code into something decent/readable.

!dev
Jesus Christ, if the cucks at this company don't start cleaning the coffee machine them-fucking-selves, I'm going to flip my shit.
There's been a chalk warning for about a month now and nobody is doing shit about it.
They leave the excess coffee powder in until either I clean it out or it literally starts to mold.
And it's not like they don't use it, everybody here drinks at least two cups a day, do you not care if it tastes at least a little all right!?
Nobody is ever going to get even a half decent cup out of this janky piece of shit.

YOU FUCKING FUCK APPLE GET YOUR FUCKING SHIT TOGETHER DAMN IT!
Left work 4 hours ago and guess what fucking ipa file did not get uploaded to app store, why? no one fucking knows! I admit 4Mbit speed isn't fast but if a tiny interruption happens to the mac's connection apploader will simply drop the upload!
I don't understand NASA was able to reach Mars and Apple fails to make a fucking decent file uploader !!!!
Now I will be going to waste two fucking hours tomorrow morning for the fucking file to be uploaded!

WTF if you want to program stuff learn how to use your programming language. Why is it so hard for that many people to learn how stuff works and stop copying blindly from the internet?
I have two colleagues who are doing nothing else that to just google their problems going to the first answer and cooping it then trying to run the program and if it doesn’t work ether give up completely or starting a loop of inserting the error message to google and copy the first result?

the two code review personality types

review activity:

- dev A: requests code review, sets dev B and dev c (myself) as reviewers

 - dev C comments: this review is marked with a complexity > 9000, touches > 20 files and has zero comments... also there's a lot of refactoring going on, making it hard for me to tell what the actual relevant changes are. can you please add more comments to this review?

 - dev B (10 mins later): approved review

Started my summer internship at a company working on their codebase about two weeks ago. I expected a lot of differences from school, but not this much. I still have no clue what I'm doing. Don't get me wrong, I'm getting stuff done, and it's helping out, but I still have no idea what is going on.

Oh, also, we use outdated Javascript frameworks... I don't actually know Javascript yet but we're just gonna roll with it

There is that meme "I've no idea what I'm doing" and there's the meme "it's fine *in a fire*". Currently I feel like a combination of those two. I'm in unexplored waters and nobody knows what's going on anyway, so I just make sure my part is technically correct according to specifications and when everything comes together I'm ready to respond to the expected disaster..

I tried to spread awareness of the coming disaster but nobody listens so I'll just wait and see what happens..

Okay so here is how my day is going.

Recruiter 1: I have this oppertunity for you and here are a couple of dates for you to have the interview.

Upon arrival:
Bossman: I didn't see the appointment until this morning and normally I won't hold an interview without my two developers. Anyways, here is the introduction to our company.

Recruiter 2 calls in the middle of the interview. After which I call back.

Recruiter 2: got this oppertunity at this company for you and if you wish they are available this afternoon.

Now I'm on my way to that interview. Hope this one goes better.

It's been 5 years this month since I started learning programming, getting interested after learning about Linux, wanting to do operating systems and games.

I started with C++, went on to C and assembly language for about 2 years and gave up on it for the most part.

Afterward did Java for two years and hated every second of it! Switched to Python instead (been using it since 2.7.5).

Now I do Haskell and JavaScript and those languages do everything so much easier I can never see myself ever going back!

So all my friends keep calling me a negative person because I always correct them on how easily they can be hacked.
Friend: Hey (my name) I am going to buy a new computer and I will make you happy and not download illegal games on to it.
Me: That's a really good idea. Now shouldn't you also buy a virusscanner or at least make a full system back-up in case you get hacked.
Two days later
Friend: Yeah I got my new pc and can now finally play Kerbal Space Progran on it. It's stupid though that this dlc costs money so I downloaded it illegaly. But don't worry. I'll stop doing that from now on.
Another two days later I am spending my whole day trying to fix his computer because he downloaded a Trojan Horse that took over his computer and he had no virusscanner or back-up.
The problem is that I am 99 percent sure that such a thing is going to happen again and he'll be standing on my doorstep to fix it for him. Just let the doomsayer that is good with computers fix it and repeat the whole process all over again😒.

As always with group projects, one or two people barely do anything and end up getting a passing grade because 1-3 r group members do all the heavy lifting.

Why do they always get away with this? From the two persons that profit from other peoples work in my current project, at least one is trying to make up for it now.

You would hope at least some of the useless group members would have washed out by the end of second year because of tests, but no.

Gonna be fun when everyone has to point out a part of the code made by them, not simply going to let them take credit for my work at least.

When working on a schoolproject I actually managed to do loads of work in a night when I was mad drunk.

Two days later I met with the project group again at school and I remembered I did something with the project, but had not the slightest idea anymore.

My project group showed up all excited that a lot of bugs were resolvee and we finally had something really nice working in the frontend thanks to me. It was a similar feeling to waking up when your arm/hand is numb and on your face and you have no clue whats going on, at first youre scared and later it was a damn cool experience.

I only just started learning Js. And it's going smoothly. In two weeks, I should have gone past the Beginner's level. Then what next?

A programmer puts two glasses on their bedside table before going to sleep. A full one, in case they gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case they don’t.

This motherfucking conference!
I've been waiting for over a day for the fucking notification to come out. The way it is going, were I in Aus the notification would be two fucking days late. If this translates into rejection, I'd like the organizers to drink boiling lava and then get fucked in the arse with frozen lava; cuz the delay is a fucking nerve wracker!

I have so much work to get done I don't even know where to start anymore. I've got 6 sites in development, 20 sites with continuing maintenance, and I'm in charge of everything IT in my office.

Today I asked if the other developer on our team could help out and take a few maintenance clients off my hands so I could work on getting builds done.

We called a team meeting where I explained my workload and pointed out that in order to make the deadline of next week on two of these builds our other developer is going to have to help out with some of the work on my plate.

Other dev: Well I've already got 3 sites that still need maintenance this month and I'm still working on $client site.

Me: Ok well today is only the 3rd so you have all month to do the maintenance on those sites, these two have to be online next week and I still have 100 hours of work to do between the two of them.

Me to CTO: can I get some backup here? Or can we hire me a monkey (my term for interns) for a couple weeks so I can focus on building?

CTO: We'll have to talk about that at our meeting next week. In the mean time, just do what you can to get the sites done and let me know if you think we aren't going to make the deadlines.

Me: That's what this conversation is, I'm telling you now, and I've been telling you for 3 weeks that we were getting close to my limit for my workload. We have approximately 175 work hours in a month, maintenance contracts alone accounts for 120 of those hours.

CTO: Alright, well if after Monday you don't think you're going to make the deadline (Thursday), then we'll see if we can find a solution.

Fuck this shit, I get paid the same whether the client is happy or not, I get paid the same whether we reach the deadline or not. I asked that salespeople stop making deadline promises before developers get to look at the scope but that's not the way we do things here. At least one of these sites is not going to be online Thursday, probably both.

In a real-time multiplayer competitive game where you control a vehicle, is it feasible to simulate the whole thing on server side, such that the client only sends controls and receives sensor results? I mean like the client doesn't even know its own precise rotation, just the readings of a gyroscope and an accelerometer which are both susceptible to errors, and deduces the "down" direction from those two and approximate control forces. This would both solve hacking (writing a good robot is just as challenging) and lead to fun results like an attitude indicator going crazy from a gust of wind.

*One Month Ago*
Project Manager: we have allocated these two workstations for you to extract data (set) from malicious files, they are off the network. I though would also prefer a seperate laptop for this project you can take this one (pointing towards the newish laptop on the table)
Me: (i declined his offer because i didn't wanted to carry two laptops everywhere) I'm going to use my own laptop, but I'll be using a sand box or virtual machine.
*Fast Forward to Today*
Accidentally ran a script outside the sandbox, which due to some unknown reasons ended up executing a bunch of malicious files I only realised my mistake when my antivirus started to go bonkers FML.
P.S. both of those PCs are now connected network because of me.
Fingers crossed

Fucking illnesses suck ass.

On Thursday afternoon I started get a feeling of “fullness” in my left ear, nothing major, thought it was just my hay fever.

Got progressively worse and ended going to the local walk in center (out of hours drs) and got prescribed a course of anti biotics.

I know they take time to kick in and I won’t feel any effects for a day or two, but fuck me I feel rougher than a badgers arse.

I assume I have ruptured my ear drum as my ear is leaking, but the swelling means I can’t close my mouth properly, the pressure makes it feel like my head is going to burst.

When your meeting was supposed to be on Wednesday but it got rescheduled three times and now when everyone agreed to meet, two days later, one lead guy didn't show up. Fuck this shit. I'm going freelance.

I should wait a bit longer before sharing this but looks like I am going to get a fulltime contracting position in a company that develops Netflix-like on-premises solutions for global brands, TV channels and telcos. I would with the team write hybrid app targeting phones, tablets, IP Tvs & consoles. I am waiting for them to call my two references and then voilà. Byebye e-commerce and WordPress, Welcome JS, React and Haxe. So excited this morning.

Manager during daily stand- up meet: We are all going to upgrade to 20GB RAM machines by the end of this week.

Me: Noice, can open two Chrome windows now.

I’m searching for a engineering management job… I was told by two recruiters from two separate companies that they were going to give me offers and that I was an amazing hire… They then ghosted me for a week and then didn’t give me an offer.

FML

There are days I imagine what my life would be like as a farmer instead of being a developer.
Two major sets of fully manual tests due on one day, after I've been alone in the office for two weeks handling all development, testing and support requests; inbox full of dumb questions that are answered in docs; people at my desk asking for shit that won't get done; and although the other devs are all back, one is "working" from home, one has no permissions to SVN, and the other is still learning how to do anything useful.
To top it all off, I've a meeting in twenty minutes, and I've managed to get coffee on my shirt and in my ear buds in a curious incident involving my headphones getting dunked in my coffee and going towards me at high speed.
Oh, and my wife just called saying the baby is screaming like a banshee at home, so I have that to look forward to.
Ugh...

Got my first job in a web development company. I am on a trial period, which means at the end of two weeks they will evaluate my performance and give me a full time contact. As a trial I am given task to work on internal CMS system. And OMG!! the coding is horrible. I think someone can start from scratch and redo the entire thing faster the adding new features to that piece of Hell!! Am worried after 2 weeks my performance is going to look bad.