Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
Search - "eat it"
-
Today at work, still laugh thinking back to it!
We were on lunch break but the linux support engineers who are on the phones as well have to pick up calls anyways (very small team).
*engineer walks to the table, sits down: Ahhh rest, finally!*
*tringggggggggg*
*engineer pulls a face like 'oh for fucks sake' and walks back to his desk*
*puts headphones on and clicks the answer button just as it disappears*
"really!?! Alright lets finally eat now"
*sits for literally one second*
*tringgggggggggg*
*Engineer seems quite pissed off now. walks to his desk again, puts on headset, clicks the answer button JUST as the call stops again*
"Mother of god, fucking really?"
*stays as his desk for a minute or so, walks back, stays hovering above his chair for a little and finally sits down again*
"Finall......"
*TRINGGGGGGGGGGGG*
"MOTHERFUCKER. THESE GUYS TIME IT OR SOMETHING!?!?"
*walks back to his desk very frustrated this time*
*puts on headphones very quickly and presses the answer button*
*answer works but the call is literally dropped the second he starts it (it was a real client)*
"OH FOR FUCKS FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING SAKE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK"
*walks back to table again and sits down. Takes sandwich and....*
*TRINGGGGGGGGGG MOTHERFUCKER*
"FUCKING COCKSUKING MOTHERFUCKING PIECES OF WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK EVER"
*gives a deadly look to another engineer: "I am NOT going to take it this time! En-fucking-joy."*
We laughed so hard xD15 -
Few months ago, I ate so many MBs (just 300+ GBs) in a month that my ISP blocked my connection and sent a worker to check if i was sharing my internet connection with neighbours etc. { They say UNLIMITED downloads when selling packages }
I was so pissed that after restoration I wrote autorun-on-startup powershell which keeps downloading a 100MB file forever just to eat bandwidth.
This month my downloads crossed a TB.
I feel like I've pissed in ISP's face just to show that if I'm not eating TBs every month, it doesn't mean i can't do it.14 -
Friend texted me some binary.
Decided to impress him and decode it by hand.
Spent 5 minutes decoding "I eat ass".6 -
Speaking of bad dev days, what a week I'll be having.
Lead-dev: I've got some bad news for you.
Me: Client X?
Lead: Client X.
Me: How many pages do I have to change?
Lead: All of them.
Me: On how many of their websites?
Lead: All of them.
Me: All of them?
Lead: All. Of. Them.rant it never ends fml client eat my ass all of them kill me now intern struggles i'm not getting paid18 -
So, my broadband internet is not working. Naturally, i called my ISP and complained.
He enlightened me, "Turn on your TV and watch the news. Theres a deadly computer virus on the loose and it is affecting banks and businesses and everything. So we decided to help our customers by turning our services down for a few days."
What the actual fuck?
Its like to Not eat anything due to a bird flu.
Oh! and i have an exam tomorrow.
Thank you muggles.17 -
I'm really down.
I spent 10 years building on an application worth 800K$ revenue per year.
I tried to build a technical team. All left, because of fights with stupid account managers, CEO, business managers.
I was left alone for almost one year alone, working like 60-70 hours per week to keep the things going and adapt to more customers.
And looking for potential partners to outsource things.
Now out of the blue, 3 weeks before my summer holiday, investors introduce me to a "partner" that will rent to us a "developer" for 2 months. from tomorrow.
What the fuck I'm gonna do with him in 2 weeks I don't know.
Actually I understand that this "partner" will take over the whole project.
They used the word "to help me", but actually during the meeting they said to fix things that are not working, and to develop new features because the project is blocked.
Of course there are bugs, I have no developers with me and hundred of features and integrations to maintain. And of course everything is blocked because I have to think hard about priorities.
I feel humiliated in the worst way.
I don't know what will be my future position.
I wasted time contacting potential partners and the answer was always "there are no money".
The business strategist, entered one year ago and said "no more IT investment".
Basically as cofounder and cto (of myself), they will not fire me, if I stay silent. If I accept to be a puppet. And eat, eat eat a lot of shit. I'll grow fat from the shit I'll eat.
I feel I've lost all my hard work, and I'm alone.40 -
Javascript is McDonald's.
1) everyone says they hate it....but they just keep going back.
2) very few people admit they keep gong back...
3) When McDonald's started doing salads, dressing nice, and delivering to tables it seemed a little much, you're a burger place. A few years later I'm writing my app in react JS, serving up eJS templates with my NodeJS server, running off a NOSQL JSon database, and munching down a Greek salad from McD's.
4) you start your burger (project) with high hopes. As you eat though....you start to regret it, but oh well, you're halfway in. By the end, never again, last time. A little while later, npm asks you if you'd like fries with that.
Feel free to disagree or add more!12 -
Me: hey dev, my in-app purchase isn't reflected on other phones with your app
Dev: *cricket noises*
About a week later...
Google Play: an update for this app is available
20 minutes later...
Dev: nope, that isn't an issue.
You updated the app minutes ago after being silent for so long. No mention of it being fixed in the changelog, no mention of it being fixed in the reply.. nothing. But I'll eat my hat if you didn't silently add it in and shoved it under the rug. Dickhead.
At least the issue doesn't exist.. anymore.
Please don't be like that...6 -
Named my dog sudo, so that i can call or command him with authority. Sudo sit! Sudo eat! Sudo roll over! Isn’t it cool?14
-
This mother fucker right here.
Today I was asked as a favor by one of our vendors to assist one of their other customers with an API integration issue. We work very closely with this vendor and help beta their products etc.
I'm helping as a favor. And this guy could not be more of a dick. Constantly throwing his 20ys of experience at me and saying the API is broken. A good portion of my job is API integration so I've seen 30+ platforms all done differently and this one in question is by far the simplest.
Where does this chodemuffin get off being a dick to me? You know what buddy. Eat a dick. Figure it out yourself.3 -
I spent about 5 hours today coding and I was totally in the zone. I'm talking things were working properly, tests were passing, bugs were being squashed all over the place. It was completely amazing, I felt like a god ruling over my code kingdom.
After about 5 straight hours I realized that I needed food so I got up, stretched my legs and had some dinner. Well I sat back down about an hour ago and I am SO far out of the zone. Everything is breaking, I can't focus and I have no idea why. My kingdom was overrun with a plague of bugs in just the short time I paused to eat.
Moral of the story: when you get in the zone don't stop for anything even if it seems like basic human necessity. After all we aren't human when we're in the zone, we are coding gods.5 -
Coworker: You've merged the wrong PR. It is broken.
Me: is it marked as broken? Is there a mail marking it as broken?
Coworker: yes. I wrote something in the chat.
Me: 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
I do NOT read and click every brain fart from the chat. I had the PR (as reviewer and dependent developer) open on my desk and waited for the coworker to fix his merge conflicts.
OK then, try to revert. Git reset hard. Push -f. Policy does not allow master modification. 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
Fuck this company. Fuck the policies. Fuck them all with a chainsaw. Forced me to work 2 weeks more. 17.04 should have been my last day at this circus. Let 3 other guys go to vacation while I have fix their management's mistakes. Fuck. You. All. Eat shit and suffocate in piss.8 -
Boss: Oh can you add this feature?
Me: I added that function already and you said to take it out.
Boss: Can't you just copy and paste it from an earlier version?
Me: No its really not that simple, I removed a bunch of tables and went to town cleaning the code so it's super quick and "sexy fast" as you put it.
I go home, work all night and forget to eat.
nextDay++;
Boss: Actually just hold back on that, I'm having second thoughts.
When a project seems to be in an endless for (fucks sake) loop.8 -
Valentines day, other people buy flowers. I buy bread instead.
I've been buying a giant loaf of sour dough bread for years and my wife is just as happy.
Why buy flowers and see it die when you can eat bread. It's just makes more sense logically.5 -
It wasn't enough that the iPhone X's notch was making developers' lives hell; now each Android phone is trying to have its own style of notch. Eat a dick device makers.11
-
My family: Can you repair the printer ?
Me: No ...
My family: can't send my emails, fix it !
Me: No ...
My family: why this people can share my photos on Facebook ? Stop it now !
Me: Then stop sharing all your god damn life each time you eat, fart or go to the bathroom !!!! For fucks sake !
Also me: why have I started computer science ?2 -
Conversations between 2 java programmers.
Me: How it's possible that your code works?
Frank: I don't know. I try 10 times, and each time, I get an error.
Then I take a break...
Eat a humburger, play ping pong, drink coffee.
Me: That's it?
Frank: Yes
Me: I need a break...3 -
Whoever is responsible for the responsible for the refund process on airbnb can eat a bunch of dicks, watch me spill all of the fluids over his keyboard and then watch me break every single one of his/her fingers.
How the fuck do you dare to keep all of my money in some kind of internal wallet while I clearly need it to get a hotel after your starrated host left me hanging, autoaccepting but then telling me via phone that he using vacation till Friday... Half a goddamned fucking hour after I tried to call him. I want to report the shit out of this asshole, but no I can't because I cancelled my stay.
For the love of God and his creation is it this hard to punish assholes for ruining my new year and making me freeze my hand and ears of?2 -
!dev
!!misery
I'm drunk, so it's time for some faux-emotional, blunt oversharing. and lots of profanity. It won't be pretty.
------
I'm miserable. I can't sleep at night. When I finally manage to, I sleep like crap. In the morning, early, I get woken up by my children screaming or pulling my hair or jumping on either the bed or me, or talking ad furore, or any number of other miserably unpleasant things that completely prevent sleep. So I'm tired every single day, which totally surprisingly makes focusing on work fucking difficult. Doubly so because the work is fucking uninteresting and the code is awful to read and difficult to understand because it's complicated and often poorly written. And extending it takes enormous mental effort I simply do not have to give. Oh! Guess what my job is?
To make matters worse, time to myself basically does not exist, ever. I wake up, I attend standup, I cook and eat breakfast, I work while fighting against endless distractions and interruptions, I cook and eat dinner, I work some more, and finally: I can go to bed and try to sleep. The next morning, I wake up and repeat this misery, ad nauseam.
Et ad nauseam? Nauseam est nunc.
It's not proper latin, but fuck you. it's good enough. and nobody speaks it anyway.
Ego sum miseriae. Is that good enough for you?
I can't find it in myself to care about anything. I've been doing whatever I can to feel a little more normal, but mostly I just feel numb. If I drink, it helps a little because I notice my misery a little less. That's a great solution right there: drink until I don't care anymore, and keep doing the same shit without even trying to make things better. Why? Because I fucking can't. I hate this house, I hate the lack of quiet, I hate this city, I hate the dust and the clutter, I hate this state, I hate this codebase, I don't like my coworkers, I hate that I can't get a fucking thing done without spending 6x longer than it should, I hate that I can't fucking think of a single thing I want to do, I hate that I can't ever enjoy anything, I hate that I'm beginning to hate myself, and I fucking hate everything else, too.
In short:
I'm not happy. I'm fucking miserable.
And no, I'm not posting this here for you to psychoanalyze me or suggest solutions. It's for me to vent. Fuck your opinions and fuck your advice and fuck you.29 -
Screwed Interview Hackerank.
Now remedy to getting out of the depression.
Watch Pokemon
Drink Tea
Eat Noodles.
If you ever feel bad about life. Watch Pokemon episodes. Look at Ash and you'll be optimistic again. Seriously try it.7 -
after weeks of living on my own the inevitable occurred.
I forgot to eat.
it's so distracting to eat. When I'm focused on something I just want to get it done. but by the time I'm done it's way past eating time.13 -
!rant
Colleague handed me an orange to eat it, I returned it with a minor improvement. She didn't get it.4 -
I taught my 9yo sister to SSH from my Arch Linux system to an Ubuntu system, she was amazed to see terminal and Firefox launching remotely. Next I taught her to murder and eat all the memory (I love Linux, as Batman, one should also know the weaknesses). Now she can rm rf / --no-preserve-root and the forkbomb. She's amazed at the power of one liners. Will be teaching her python as she grew fond of my Raspberry Pi zero w with blinkt and phat DAC, making rainbows and playing songs via mpg123.
I made her use play with Makey Makey when it first came out but it isn't as interesting. Drop your suggestions which could be good for her learning phase?13 -
Mondays - the day everyone hates and the day that I hated.
But I made changes to my routine on mondays. Instead of trying to maximize my time in the bed - I go up before 5 AM and drive to the office. Spend a hour in the gym (I really need it), eat breakfast and have a couple of hours for myself in the office.
I manage to get more things done during this time, because people are not bothering me :)
Well, happy monday to you!8 -
Some words of wisdom passed on by our Scrum.
1. I am responsible for setting boundaries. Work time, sleep time, family time, me time. If I don't set them properly, things WILL get unbalanced very quickly. (And I would add, burnout will follow closely).
2. Being productive isn't about doing more and more in less time. It's about doing only the most important things well, and either saying no to the other things, or finding another way to get them done. (Prioritize!)
3. I can't win (let alone run) a marathon by thinking of it as a 26 mile long sprint, or a week as a five day sprint. (Eat a digital elephant a byte at a time).
4. Loved ones are good judges of when things are in and out of balance.
5. Taking time off is essential. Vacations, yes, but also nights and weekends. (Or you WILL burn out and hate what you do).
Comments in () are mine.1 -
12 - 1pm is lunch time. What the hell is it with this team and arranging meetings for this time, does nobody eat?
*Propose new time*
Justification: ... i'm fucking hungry4 -
Once upon a time as a developer for Palm handhelds I wrote an application in C which had to print via a Bluetooth printer.
When connected by wire everything was perfect, switching to BT it kept crashing for weeks without me finding the source of the problem.
Then came the day of my companies summer party. I've been the last guy to sit in front of the PC, investigating my problem, when at about 9 PM my boss came and told me, I should grab something to eat. So I went down, drank three beer and got back to work.
At about 9:45 PM the damn wrong * was replaced by the correct & and everything was fine.
PointerIssuesSolvedByBeer++; -
I found an interesting job post on SO, I decide to apply. It comes with a programming test. A simple unit test that must pass (see current-1 post). I get it passing, go to send off my resume and code and the fucking email they supplied isn't valid or active. Fuck you. Eat dicks. Useless fucking HR.
-
Fucking kill me right now please. How the FUCK am I supposed to get any shit done when I'm learning something and the fucking DOCUMENTATION has been UNAVAILABLE for the past THREE MOTHERFUCKING DAYS.
GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER MICROSOFT.
Fucking idiots.
It wouldn't be so fucking bad if things like this didn't happen all the time.
But when EVERYTHING is FUCKED - ALL THE TIME, it kinda makes a person lose all hope in humanity and technology.
A typical motherfucking day for me:
Wake up
Go to work
Come home
Eat dinner (if I remember)
Attempt to code shit for 1 - 3 hours before I have to sleep
CAN'T FUCKING CODE SHIT BECAUSE:
1. Internet disconnects every 5 fucking minutes
2. DOCUMENTATION SITES ARE FUCKING DOWN
3. Shit Windows is UPDATING
4. a previous windows UPDATE has royally motherFUCKED my PC
5. etc
FUCK14 -
Manager: "We can't have new releases breaking older versions of the mobile app!!!!! We'll lose all our customers!!!!"
fullStackChris: "That's fine, we can do API versioning, but it will take some time to implement, I'll have to be quite careful and write some tests to implement it. Probably 2-3 weeks..."
Manager: "NO WAY, THAT TIME ESTIMATE IS WAY TOO LONG, WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT!!!"
fullStackChris: "So how do you wanna support multiple versions of the app without doing any sort of versioning?"
Manager: "...we'll think of something!"
Dev: "..."
And with 99% certainty, I expect to hear this in a week or two:
Manager: "fullStackChris, we'd like to introduce you to the highly technical concept, API versioning. It's a way to version the API so we can support multiple versions of the application our customers use! It's amazing! Please implement this immediately so we can support multiple versions of the application!"
Sigh... each day managers learn a bit more how physical reality works... you can't have your cake and eat it too.7 -
I've been working exclusively from home for over 2 years now. I've been seeing several posts from people talking about adjusting to working from home, so I figured I would compile a list of tips I've learned over the years to help make the adjustment easier for some people.
1) Limit as many distractions as possible. WFH makes it much easier to get distracted. If you have roommates/family members at home, ask them politely to leave you alone while you're working. Make sure the TV is turned off, put your phone on silent, etc.
2) Take regular breaks. I find it easier to accidentally go hours without taking a real break from work. Try working in half hour intervals, and then taking 5-10 minute breaks. Read an article, watch a youtube video, grab some coffee/tea, etc.
3) When you eat lunch, eat it away from your computer. I often find myself eating lunch trying to wrap up fixing a bug, which makes it feel like I never really "took a lunch." Lately I've been trying to step away and do something else completely unrelated to work.
4) Get ready for work like you normally would. It's very easy to wake up, throw on your favorite pair of sweats and sit at the computer with messy hair half awake "ready" to start the day. Instead try doing your normal morning routine before sitting at your computer. It will help your mind and body go into "it's time to work" mode.
5) Keep your work area clean. I find it very difficult to work when my workspace is cluttered. Studies have shown working in a messy place tend to make us less efficient.
6) Keep your work area work related. Try to only have the things you need for work in your workspace. If you're working from your personal computer this can be difficult. I always end up with camera/music equipment left over from the previous night's photo editing/jam sessions. So try to clean off your desk when you're done for the night so it's ready for work in the morning.
7) Prepare for meetings. I have alarms set 10 minutes in advance so I can go from programming mode to meeting mode. During this time I'll go to the bathroom, grab a snack, water, mute all my email notifications, close any non essential programs, get my code ready if I need to present it.
Stuff is hard & stressful right now, but hopefully these tips will make it a bit easier. If anyone else has any good tips please share them.5 -
Sick.
Worst sleep of my life last night.
Freezing cold, weak, sore, can’t think, starving but can’t eat or drink, as low energy as a dead Chinese “heavy duty” battery.
Finished some changes to my feature today anyway; everything should be done now. Refactored some specs, and got them all to pass.
Falling asleep on my closet floor. Heavy winter coat, fuzzy pants, space heater. It’s warm in here and there’s a shelf for my lappy. Floor is uncomfortable but idc. I’m so tired and out of it I don’t even notice.
This sucks.
At least I have the rest of the week off.21 -
Week 26 advice - you all probably know this but good to refresh!
Eat healthily
Sleep well
Document clearly
Annotate your code
Use version control properly
Keep yourself in check with project management tools
Your peers are your friends... And competition.
As much as your boss is an idiot respect them and your life will be easier.
With great power comes great responsibility; don't touch that keyboard until you think through what you are doing chances are your first idea is not the best.
Don't write quick fixes and say you will go back to clean it up later on when you have time. That time will never come.3 -
Some days back before, it was my birthday so I invited my friend who make apps and games with me and I said "lets eat raspberry pi" so he came to my house and said where is the pie. I pointed at the green board at the table. LOL2
-
Sandev. The santa dev.
If you are a nice dev, he makes your code work... If you are a naughty dev, he fills it with bugs.
If you are an immensely naughty dev, he disables all browsers except for an older version of IE, rm -rfs your linux distro, and magically makes android studio eat up more ram than usual.7 -
Developed my own programming language to teach programming at community college.
I needed an easy to learn language with as few brackets as possible cz these caused the most problems for beginners. Called it robocode. =)
Then i built an IDE around it where you have to program a little sheep to eat all gras in an area. The goal was to teach how to learn the syntax, the libary, debugging and to "see" the code run while the program and the little sheep runs, ..halt the programm, inspect variables, check the positions on the grass, ...i think you get the picture.
Later i built another IDE where you can program a Tetris.
robocode now also powers the calculation in our buisness application.
...i think thats my most successful project so far.
here's a screenshot of the RoboSheep IDE (be nice, it's a few years old) and the links to the download sites. I'm sorry, it's all german cz i never localized it.12 -
This spring I was working on a library for an algorithm class at uni with some friends and one of the algorithm was extremely slow, we were using Python to study graphs of roads on a map and a medium example took about 6-7h of commission to finish (I never actually waited for so long, so maybe more).
I got so pissed of for that code that I left the lab and went to eat. Once I got back I rewrote just the god-damned data structure we were using and the time got down to 300ms. Milliseconds!
Lessons learned:
- If you're pissed go take a walk and when you'll come back it will be much easier;
- Don't generalize to much a library, the data structure I write before was optimized for a different kind of usage and complete garbage for that last one;
- Never fucking use frozen sets in Python unless you really need them, they're so fricking slow!3 -
My Perfect Day : Assumption
Woke up at 6. Went for morning walk or do yoga or some sort of stuff.
Came back at 7. Went for daily routine, like bathing and all.
Went to prepare breakfast at 7:45. Prepared some eggs and bread and coffee.
It is 8:15 now. Reading news papers or watching tv and doing breakfast.
At 9 check mails and prepare some stuff.
At 9: 30 went for office. Reached office 5 minute before 10, safe and sound.
Came back at 7 by evening. Did some rest. Prepare dine till 9. Take a bath. Complete the dine.
At 10:30 ready to sleep.
Actual Scenario :
Woke up at 8:30. No time for yoga or morning walk. No time for preparing breakfast as well. Went straight to bathroom. Came back in 20 minutes. Made a cup of coffee. No time for newspaper or tv.
Feeling lazy and tired already. At 9:10 went for office. Before reaching office stopped at fast food joints. buy some junk food. Eat them. Got traffic jam and reached office late.
Started working but feeling lazy. Boss asked twice about the project status and i am unable to think a single line of code.
However, days passed. Boss scolded me. I promised him to finish the work after reaching home.
Reached home at 7:30. Late for no reason. Went straight to bed. Sleeps a hour. But took 20 minutes to leave bed.
Started working on projects i did not complete in the office.
Time fly and it is already 1 in morning. No dinner. Tired as fuck but hungry as well. So made some eggs and eat. Wrapped the task but it is 3:30 in morning and i jumped to bed for sleep.
Loop.3 -
First rule of Apple beta software: do not talk about Apple beta software.
It doesn’t matter, that there’s PUBLIC beta. You cannot talk about it, cause you violate some idiotic NDA. And then, we get software that looks and works like everyone sees now.
Eat shit, Apple. And all of your fanboys.3 -
PSA: if, for whatever shit reason your brain comes up with, you decide to run a webminer in your retarded useless piece of shit website, at least HAVE THE DECENCY TO WARN USERS ABOUT IT. And while you're at it, implement some basic monitoring and safety functions. If you don't, you can set yourself on fire and jump from the top of the tallest building you can find.
Some basic tips:
1) don't run that shit on phones. The fraction of a fraction of a cent you're gonna earn from them is not worth the risk of overheating them and draining their batteries.
2) add low battery/overheating protection: the last thing you want to do is kill some poor sucker's laptop (and potential unsaved work) just because they forgot a tab open. Every time a laptop dies because of you, a knife will slit your throat.
3) WARN YOUR USERS ABOUT IT! You are straining someone else's resources for your own profit: at least have the balls to be open about it. If you try to run a miner silently in the background, I will make you eat whatever is left of your fucking brain, then drown you in the shit that comes out of your ass.5 -
Was joking with my sister about who has more steps. She had done more steps so far, so I said that I would walk 20 times around the McDonald's, where we were going to eat. She replied that she would walk 50 times around it, so I said that I would walk 2 times more around it than she would. She then said, that she would go once more around it. In the end, I explained recursion and infinite loops to her. Her comment was "großer Blödsinn" (German) -> "big bullshit".3
-
Me - I am sorry my dog eats my homework
Comp sci professor - your dog eat your coding assignment?
Me - ...
Professor - ...
Me - it took him couple bytes10 -
“An omelette, promised in two minutes, when not ready in two minutes, the customer has two choices – wait or eat it half-cooked. Software customers also have the same choices.”6
-
Current work project is microservices architecture out of 4 - 8 components.
It is fully Infrastructure as a Code automatized. I just change somewhere code, git pushing
And it automatically invokes Gitlab CI, terraform, ansible, kubernetes helm charts.
Auto checking itself with unit and integration tests in autoredeployed staging env. Then it saves tested results to docker registry and asks for one button verificating click to be rereleased to prod.
I just go for drink or eat food. While all the stuff is happening.
And I am proud that all the infrastructure, backend and frontend I made on my own.
I don't need to remember how to Deploy it. It is all automatized3 -
For some reason my manager freaked out after her non developer husband told her that each of the web pages for our main service would take months to build. Shit man its just static content with some animations here and there. It is a total of 15 pages and this dude estimated that I (as in yours truly) would only be able to do 2 per month. Bato stfu. Stick to banking (hopefully your time estimates don't suck ass there) and let me woo your woman with my frontend godspeed.
So what did I do?
Simple, asked her to show me one of the design models she already created on photoshop. Saved that thing to my computer and coded it at home. In 2 hours (It was originally one but my dumbass gor tab trigger happy with rm rf autocomplete so I had to do it again...fking dumb) and showed it to her this morning.
Eat a dick dude. The woman is already going apeshit over all the other shit we have to do plus working on her masters and attentind 100+ pointless meetings a day whilst still being able to be the best fucking manager I've ever had. I really don't need her freaking the fuck out over your dumbfuck estimates. Why in the wholy fucking world she listened to your dumbass is beyond me, probably stress made her freak out.
Its cool b.....I got it under control.
Fucking chill woman damn.
**drops mic2 -
Holy shit my server survived a DNS amplification attack!
I thought my iptables rules were not very effective, since I kept seeing 1-2 ANY requests getting through my pihole (only to be ignored by the upstream cloudflare server).
Turns out, they never actually *kicked in*, until now.
The craziest part is that one ip belongs to the Ministry of a country!! :O
Eat that, motherfuckers! God I love it when this shit actually works!5 -
My Javascript professor explained Boolean to me using an allegory about pizza: "If I give you pizza, under what condition do you eat it? Your hunger must be true or false. Boolean does the same thing, but with things less exciting than pizza."
It didn't even begin to make sense to me until it became about pizza.
I vote for ALL future computer classes to be taught in terms of pizza.12 -
I eat food. And I cook food. Believe it or not, cooking is very similar to coding. Things you do at the very beginning haunt you till the very end. Also, premature optimization is the root of all evil (in both domains).4
-
Anyone else find the eat sleep code hacker / soylent chugging caffeine energized all nighter coder beast idea immature? I run into people who think that those ideals are what makes a good engineer and it irks me. Maybe I'm just too judging.6
-
Yesterday, my new (Irish) co-worker comes to my desk and asks me a question about an issue in his code.
His commenting all done in Irish.
Him: "If you want me I can translate the comments for you?"
Me: "Ní gá, is féidir liom é a léamh go foirfe." ("No need to, I can read it perfectly fine")
co-worker looking at me like: "wtf just happened?"
After a while, I spotted the issue (I noticed the expected output from one of the functions not being of the correct format - an integer instead of an array).
So I fixed it.
Next day (this morning) I came back at work, looked into my food drawer to see what I would eat for breakfast (yes, I have a drawer specifically for food, and yes, I eat breakfast at work), found a small box containing an Ulster Fry :D
Best breakfast at work in a long time :D6 -
1. Ability to freeze time... (except for internet & computer speed). Too many ideas, not enough hours in a day. Sleep should be declared optional as well.
2. Ability to not eat/drink at all, or eat/drink in copious quantities without negative effects. I enjoy a cognac, pizza & chocolate binge more than nausea, upwards BMI creep and hangovers.
3. True Virtual Reality. None of this headset crap, but immersiveness rivaling reality itself, with voice-controlled AI-assisted interfaces to "program" anything by simply describing it, iterating over details to add increasing complexities. Not even for porn reasons... my head just overflows with creative ideas for "holonovels" and interactive worldbuilding, but I don't have the patience nor artistic skills for game development.3 -
Did someone here partecipate to the International Olympiad of Metropolises in Moscow?
I've been there this year and it was an excellent experience.. If you want it, share your thoughts or impressions!
(Picture of me trying to eat a pen and trying to find every fucking error in my code)7 -
I used to get gigs from a freelancing website. Some guy posted a project where he wanted a website with complementary Android and iOS apps for $50. My bid was "Sir, would you like fries with that?". It was uncalled for I guess but after seeing so many projects like this, I was pissed to no end.
2 months later I get an email from the website saying I received an infraction due to my behaviour. Wtf is an infraction? Fuck you and fuck the English dictionary! Or pay me fucking 50 dollars to find out what it means!
Basically, I shat where I used to eat. Fuck my life.5 -
TL;TR
My mum just came to me asking me why the mouse is not working ...like I'm GOD of electronics :( (I'm just a simple dev) I simply though that the battery is dead because it's old. Soooooo.....
I showed her how to open it and how to change the battery. After 5 min she came back with a new battery and the same mouse asking me to fix it for her....
In my mind I literally snapped my brain was bleeding and exploding at the same time.
I just cringed a fake smile and changed the battery in front of her very slowly. I sure she won't remember how to do it next time.
At the end of the story I can't talk back or be angry to my parents I have to much respect for them. They though me everything from how to poop, speak, dress, eat and so on.
Be kind to your parents.5 -
Participated in a hackathon two weeks ago.
All 3 winners were established startups or had already developed product. All they did was, come, sit, eat, spare time and pitch.
Did organizer mistakenly named it HACKATHON 🤔 ???
Though, made it to TOP 10 and got incubated at incubation center of organizer2 -
i am fucking tired of companies that come to me expecting to magically fix their STEAMING PILE OF BULLSHIT AND TRASH CODE. how about when i ask "can i get a project brief", instead of saying "just fix it" or "it just needs to do this", GIVE ME A FUCKING COHERENT AND DESCRIPTIVE WRITEUP OF EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED. i can't read your minds, let alone read the code the previous cock sucking developer wrote, so guess what? i'm left with no other option but to completely rewrite it. to top it off, instead of giving me god damn excuses as to why you can't get me the api key for your order processing, MAKE A NEW ACCOUNT AND GET IT TO ME. how the fuck do you expect me to test an application when i don't even have access to the fucking api the whole shit pile is based around? i swear to god if these people expect me to have this done by the end of the week but want to be little cunt nuggets they can go eat shit. fuck you, fuck your "contract", fuck your company, FUCK EVERYTHING. greedy, shit faced bastards2
-
So everyone is complaining about working from home. Fuck it, I love it. My productivity was never higher than now.
I didn't have an office space before at home, so I created one. I spent money on it but that's good because this whole corona thing made me realize how much I don't miss:
- company politics, who said what said
- commute
- people bothering you in the middle of you doing something
- catching-up breaks with people I hardly care about asking about holiday I took last year but they "ahhh thought it was just last week! so did you eat anything nice?"
- answering forced "any plans for the weekend" questions
- participating in conversations about nothing
The worst thing is that I'm actually a very sociable person 😂 so working from home means I can go meet my friends at 1630 sharp instead of 19.
I just don't need those fake relationships at work I guess.
Im already discussing with my manager possibility to work from home most of the time and I think I'll soon start to search for something 100% remote.9 -
Food and computers.
Sorry for the fat people as well but i think those is legit.
I am sitting next to this friend of mine in class. She is a bit big. Anyhow.
She opens her laptop and i see her screen. Its dirty. But by dirty i mean fucking dirty. Like brow transparent circle like things all over.
I`m like: “shiiiet, whats that on your screen”.
She: “i am not really sure”.
2 days layer in another class we sit together again and she looks at me with a smile.
She: “look my screen is clean. It was dirty because sometimes o sit in bed and eat chicken then type on my keyboard,so when i close my computer the keys touch the screen and voiiiila!”
Me: “..... Wow”
She was quite proud she had elucidated the problem and did not really understand the meaning of my wow.4 -
You fucking dense motherfucker of a professor. You mentally disabled shit-eater. You fucking perfectly know that I have been offered a very good position in a company I really wanted to work at and you fucking force me to stay and wait for the next graduation date to make me get my fucking degree. Just because you offered me a PhD position and I didn't want it.
I sincerely hope you lose all your prestige. Fucking choke with a big ass cock in your throath, eat your own vomit disgusting piece of shit. You are a fucking 60yo child. You have no respect for people work, you always want more. Get cancer fucking animal.
HOLY SHIT HANG URSELF9 -
So working on the Android for work, and go to add in images for parts of the app. I add in images and load the app up and it crashes, I thought hmm maybe I missed something for the imageview.
The exception was an out of memory exception and from looks of it, it exceeded my phone memory by quite a bit (OnePlus 3 has 8gb LOL), I was stumped since I don't typically run into this.
Turns out this time around it wasn't my fault lol, I had some images outsourced to a company our company uses for doing design work and well Android doesn't like 2000 x 2000 super high quality for logos.
I mean sure it's good it's high quality but to have 3 images eat up a lot of memory (I assume my phone won't allocate all 8gb to one app lol).2 -
How do you like them apples ?
Devrant style
No kidding she was looking at me while I was drinking coffee, I almost spill everything up seeing that.
Dammit apple let me have some privacy !
I eat it...4 -
When you and your colleagues fight over code intending whether it should be a tab or ''x'' spaces.
My reply: It doesn't matter what you use!! It's like eating with either a fork or spoon, as long as you eat, dammit!!
My friend:5 -
*Swiches on the PC and opens VS*
Probably I should get some coffee.
*1 hour later, with 0 LOC written*
I should probably code now. Umm, I need music, else I might not focus on the code.
*another hour passes by headbanging to led zeppelin and still on 0 LOC progress*
You know what, this wont work. I should eat and will code with a fresh mind..
*has lunch*
I'll code now.. Maybe I should check up on devrant...
*time goes by with 0 LOC at the end of the day.*
I'll do it tomorrow.
*Next Day, repeats what I did on the earlier day*3 -
It says here https://lingolex.com/ants.htm that ant brain has 250000 brain cells, so 40000 ants add up to one human.
The biggest unitary colony found so far has something over 300 millions of ants. They also form federations also called megacolonies and those spread across large areas and are estimated over a billion.
They have insect version of agriculture and they can decide what is the purpose of an ant when it's egg is laid (also depends on time of the year). They don't fight other ants with the same smell, which pretty much carries down.
What are they thinking about all day? Are they like "let's lay three more billions and then take over" or is it more like "how does my butt smell to you? let's eat that leaf" Because if they have hive mind as they say then they add up to some serious intelligence :-|
>.>
<.<
¯\(0_o)/¯7 -
Has it ever happened to anyone that you get hired as a backend java developer without going through any sort of evaluation and for some reason you start getting only design/frontend tasks and you politely complain but the dickhead says "well you should be able to do everything, and I want it before tomorrow" but you kind of need the money so "what the hell" and a couple days later you fully remember again how much you hate spending a whole day trying to get a bloody bar sticked to the bottom of the page while some dickass hits your slack and whatssapp with the nerving "where are my screens?" and start thinking "...do I really need to eat this month..." but anyways you make your research and ask for help and stop sleeping and do as much as you can to get the sh*t done and please the dickhead because you want his money?
...Anyone?
...No?
...Just me?
...Oh well, have a nice day/evening6 -
“An omelette, promised in two minutes, when not ready in two minutes, the customer has two choices – wait or eat it half-cooked. Software customers also have the same choices.” - Brooks.
-
It looks like I FINALLY stopped binge spending.
Two years ago I was making like $500 a month and couldn’t manage it properly so sometimes I couldn’t even afford to eat.
Now I open my banking app and it puts smile on my face.3 -
Oh yes, today was a fugly nice day.
Fuck you my dear boss.
Your mindless way of taking a dump onto my code, moving my classes (CSS) away and adding new classes to refuck my unfucked fuckery clearly shows how much brain is left in your hollow skull of nothingness.
It took me only 2.5 hours of my precious time to unfuck your refucked fuckery and implement the fix you wanted me to do because you fucked up my code.
Go eat a bag of segfaults and get cast to void* (void pointer).
I am also very thankful having spent the whole day today to fix cross browser fuckups, hacks and #!&$+@.
Normally I really like my boss. He is a cool guy and an innovative and mostly intelligent person.
BUT FUCK HIS CODE.16 -
TLDR; i wrote recursive compression with random algorithm to fuck up some lazy ass girl.
one day, unknown classmate told me she has a family reunion and cannot do his programming assignment which will be collected next day in the morning, so she ask me to do it. i say i need to put a price tag to it because i want to buy a new RasPi --i don't know her either so i don't feel bad about it. i told her i need $20 and after some bargaining it settled at $15. i work on it about 3 hours and told her it's finished and send her demo video as a proof. she happy with the result. and will come to my house later that night to get the source code. at night, she came, and give me only $8 bucks, of course i get mad, with every arguments she throws at me i resist to give her the source code. but since i tired enough to get into a longer arguments i accept the 8 bucks i go upstairs to get the source code. but instead of giving her the actual source code; i wrote a quick script to do 50 compress source code folder recursively with random compression algorithm--sometimes gzip sometimes lzma. and give her the final 50 times compressed source code. EAT SHIT MOTHERFUCKER11 -
2010: haha yeah I use StackOverflow too
2011: SO, amirite?
2012: omg SO servers are down
2013: am engineer and I use SO to remember how to eat and breathe
2014: guys, what if SO was down. CODEPOCALYPSE!
2015: I use SO and have imposter syndrome
2016: omg, git checkout this SO meme on /r/programmerhumor
2017: I'd rather skin my mother alive than have SO dowb
2018: Stack fucking Overflow... like.. what if... you... can't... use it... in an interview...
2019: check my twitter @paresh, tons of SO references with barely intelligible english
just fucking drop dead, pieces of shit...5 -
That feeling of wanting to walk away from coding forever and not having a single thing to do with it ever again, but also having nothing else you can do and a powerful need to eat and have shelter.8
-
I was looking around to do some stuff with wireshark and I stumbled across a forum question from a 2012 in which someone actually replied with the people from the future in mind.
God bless you shearn89 🫡
Youre a real one
And to those that reply "I found the solution thx" and don't post it: eat a dick11 -
!rant
TL;DR: "Gather all resources before working on any project and committing to the client... & over smartness can be deadly"
Couldn't stop my laughter after reading this one.
A new vacuum salesman knocked at the door….
A lady opened it. Before she could speak... The salesman rushed into the living room and emptied a bag of cow dung on the carpet.
Salesman: - Madam, if I couldn't clean this up in the next 3 mins with my new powerful vacuum cleaner, I will EAT all this!!
Lady: Do you need Chili Sauce with that?
Salesman: - Why Madam?
Lady: - Because there's no electricity in the house...!!!
😂😂😂 -
If it is lunch time and I have a sandwich stuffed halfway in my face, do not walk up to me with your computer asking for help. It doesn't take me long to eat so give me 3 fucking minutes to finish.
I will help you...I will touch your keyboard with my greasy fingers...I will touch your screen...multiple times.
You're welcome.3 -
I am so fucking done with all these incompetent fucktards!!! Why would you keep a client-brief in secret from your colleagues?! Why on your screwed delusional Earth you think it is perfectly okay if you don’t communicate the changes ahead your team? How could you - microbrained prehistoric dinosaur who petrified to your own semen - think that I can estimate with my time and do my work when you are barely able to think ahead 2 minutes without letting me know the actual scope and deadlines???!!! AND NO telling me the day before NOT GONNA MAKE IT VALID!!!! You failed in life you failed in evolution you played my trust and I don’t give horseshit about your career! Go fuck a hedgehog, eat it and shit out on the same fucking day. Tomorrow a new era starts and prepare yourself as I am hereby vow that I am not going to care any of your bullshit! I vow that every time you come to me with a new task, I will start it WHEN I can and do it between 9 and 17 and if anyone asks I will calmly tell the hard truth about the overbred, human shaped, evolutional dead end you are...5
-
Here's what being in a rut is like:
You wake up to the alarm, you waste an hour or two in bed stalling browsing social shit. Finally got out of bed. You have a todo list. You ignore it. Get something to eat. Open Netflix or some brain numbing shit while having breakfast. A few hours go by, you're still watching Netflix and switching to browsing social shit in-between so your brain is numb as much as possible. It's lunch time, you're supposed to cook something, nah, I will order something. Oh, it's bedtime, let's make a todo list and go to bed and start over tomorrow...5 -
“Hey what’s this issue? Can you tell me what’s going on?”
“Yeah sure, what is it?”
[login page alert displaying “your email or password is incorrect, please try again.”]
How do people like this live? How do they not forget how to breathe or eat?11 -
I'm very dependent on my sense of smell. I always smell whatever I eat or drink. Because of some stuff about my brain that my doctor told me and I forgot, this sense is very precise.
It's so precise in fact that in a closed room I can tell whether a woman is on her period or not. But we're blessed and we're also cursed – put any kind of paint, nail polish, rotten food, so-called "car perfume" near me and I have a headache until I get a full night of sleep.
Coronavirus however fucked up that feeling. When it initially disappeared I was panicking because I felt like a cat with his whiskers cut off. Now it's back and it's strong as usual, but it's different.
Now I can't eat chicken. No matter if it's fresh or not, if I smell chicken my brain just fucking nopes out and tries to vomit.
Corona sucks. Stay safe.37 -
Dear people who create frameworks and libraries,
Please don't advertise your stuff as 'super easy to use', 'incredibly lightweight', 'no configuration needed', 'seamless integration' and shit like this. We all know it's a big fat fucking lie. Just be honest and write 'it supposed to be all-purpose but won't solve your problem', 'a huge fucking chaotic mess', 'slow as shit', 'will eat up all your resources', 'might be good but we've lost the documentation' or 'actually worse than vanilla'. If you'd do this, the world would be a better place.
Thanks,4 -
Went to a Hackathon, the platform looked like bs and the documentation was mehhh. So spent the time sleeping, waking only to eat Pizza :3.
(Know it was bs when no one cared >.>)2 -
Not much of a story but about 2 years ago, I had just got to the mall (at its opening time so many shops were still closed). While walking through to find a place to eat while my mother went grocery shopping, my phone started buzzing. Upon checking; it had hundreds of notifications and emails. Our production server was malfunctioning.
Not much that I had to do, but I ran around to find a computer store to use their model computers to see what was happening.
However, while the problem was fixed, I did notice how friendly Mac stores were as opposed to windows dealers that day. Windows dealers did not allow me to use the computers while the Mac store connected me to wifi and allowed me all the time needed to fix my issue. 👀 -
I appreciate Minecraft and Minecraft mods. Teaching kids to eat tasty animals, and make glue from blood. There is a mod the literally makes glue by putting horses in a smelter. You can even heal the horse and keep it alive indefinitely. In constant agony. lol
Although, the idea that you can sustainably produce energy from wood is a bit suspect. Thankfully mods jumped in with nuclear reactors for real power generation.10 -
I hate it when I'm working on something and then I have to eat/drink/take a piss/shit. Come on, body, just let me fucking work4
-
Fuuuuck you AWS!!!
If you have a feature called “termination protection” perhaps it should actually prevent an instance from being terminated!
But nooo, you add *one line* of text on a documentation unrelated to ec2 terminations saying that in this particular scenario, it will terminate your instance.
Eat a dick. Eat a bag of dicks. Eat all of the dicks you fucking turd munchers.
Now I have to manually enter a month of invoices from the order emails that were created. 😡2 -
So, I'm a Jr. Webdev started one year ago to work on a €200mln. retail platform. Our development team consists out of my Sr. dev who designed the whole platform and it's basically his baby. Now he's leaving and it's expected from me to do new developments, support, meetings with managers from all over Europe, roll-outs in new countries, deal with all the issues SAP has, eat their bullshit when they can't upload a .csv file because they are too stupid to check for missing leading zeros. Listen to important their new functions are that they want because 120% of the salespeople needs it. How stupid can this company be to take the financial risk? I'm done.9
-
Fuck me I forgot to eat (was too busy at work) and I lost my chance to eat anything from the cafeteria.
Oh well...vending machine it is.2 -
I keep seeing comments like “This should be on spotify” under youtube videos. Guess what — I download them with youtube to mp3 converter, drag n drop them into apple music, and boom, it syncs to my phone. They live among apple music-native tracks. They don’t eat up icloud space (I don’t use icloud), and they don’t disappear when apple music subscription expires. I don’t know any music streaming service that has everything in hi-res or lossless and allows that.11
-
One of my employees just gave me a panchito(basically a fried tortilla chip with cheese, avocado and meat) and went away. He legit bought it from the cafeteria, walked all the way to the office to give me one, and left to eat it back at the cafeteria 🤣🤣🤣 bless him.
-
Not exactly a co-worker, but one of the devs from the client's team spent a few months working in our office next to us. He would always take a nap at lunch time and snore loudly, and eat an apple afterwards and it seemed to be impossible for him to chew with his mouth closed.
Whenever he had a cold and his nose got blocked he would still force himself to breathe through his nose, so it sounded something like a mix of darth vader and someone drowning.
He also lacked any notion of personal space, and would always sneak behind us to ask questions and then put his laptop right on top of our keyboards or in front of our screens and start talking while we still had headphones on. -
Whoever is reading this...
Have a great day! I know the world is in a bad place rn and everything is chaos but take it upon yourself to strive for a great day everyday. Make sure you eat your food drink your water and take some time for yourself to relax and do whatever makes you happy! Spend some time with your loved ones, start a new project that could help the world, go outside, etc. Make the most of your day!5 -
Yo...wtf
A node package, event-stream. Was infected. Basically, the exploit seems to steal data from mining cryptocurrencies. What was amazing was the github repo owner's attitude about it. I would normally agree with it not being his issue anymore if it weren't because:
1. The pendejo did not archive the repo to indicate that he is free of fault and not his anymore.
2. You can't just entrust a fucking software lib to any pendejo that asks.
3. Eat a dick nigga
Peace out
https://github.com/dominictarr/...13 -
I own my grandfather's Victorinox Swiss Army Knife, probably from the eighties. I absolutely love it — it's just like the standard Unix toolkit. Minimalist, multi-purpose, efficient. This is what I have in my knife:
1. Two blades. I call them master (yes) and slave
2. Corkscrew. I call it "ed".
3. Hole puncher, but not just any hole puncher. Mine has an angular sharp edge to carve holes instead of just punching them. Super efficient for wood, plastic and thick fabric. It also has a hole so it can be used as a needle. I call it "vi".
4. Bottle opener which is also a screwdriver. I call it "more".
5. Can opener. This is my favorite one.
It can help you open just about anything. Any type of cans, closed pistachio nuts, oysters, your barely legal girlfriend's virginity — anything. When I eat pistachios, I'm holding my Victorinox in my hand opening tough ones with the speed of rm -rf ripping through your files. Oh, and it's also another screwdriver. I call it "cat".
But let's take a look at modern Victorinox. Maybe it's better? No, not at all. It's totally metrosexual featuring nail files, nail clippers, nail scissors and a flash drive (not even a good one).
Newer doesn't always mean cooler.
(I have the exact same one, photo from the internet because I'm too lazy)19 -
Ok, time to eat some humble pie. I seem to remember ranting about the fact we were going to use an offshore dev house a while back, and I'd convinced myself they were going to be absolutely useless.
Far from it. It's certainly meant I've had something else to do in managing them, and I can't say everything has been completely rosy - but overall, they're a bunch of hard working, decent devs who write good, well-tested code, are receptive to feedback in code reviews and take the initiative and ask questions when they need to. Shame on me for initially thinking otherwise - I'll miss working with them when I leave this place.3 -
Heres a rant:
Ion fuckin care if people post memes, not even if they post it as rant. But when they TRANSCRIBE the fucking meme im really tempted to make like 10 accounts just to downvote that shit. Eat a dick you fat fucking whores.7 -
2 in 1
How I fucking hate people that are over apologetic, but don't actually learn anything out of it, maybe next time you do the same fucking mistake again, I'll shove a fucking spiked metal rod up your ass and twist it, so next time you sit down you seemingly still fucking feel it and remember to check beforehand to avoid the fucking issue, you fucking buffoon.
--
Another thing I'd stick a rusty crackneedle pipe up somebodys internals is "for each day late we will penalize 500$ from the budget" while the budget is like 2k, go fuck yourself and eat your cash, with your "30 day challenge" job, you fucking cumstain.3 -
After seeing everyone arguing about coffee on my post yesterday, I thought you guys might like to see my new invention.
I call it "the late man's coffee" for when you don't have enough time to eat breakfast and drink your morning coffee.6 -
Why are vegans & mac users so fucking annoying.
Eat what you like.
Use what you like.
Why tf you have to tell me what you eat & what you use is the only good thing in the world. Stop going 'how can you eat that?' & 'how can you use that?' Keep it to yourself 🔫😠6 -
Walked past one of my employees as he was talking on the phone. He says something along the lines of "oh no that was totally my fault" to which I just blurt out "haha dumbass"
And he just goes O.o and then to the phone "oh, yes, no sorry, yes that was my manager" to where someone just roars out laughing on the other line.
Him: "apparently the director of X department found it hilarious that your standard automatic response was that out of nowhere"
Before I get called an asshole or whatever, my dudes regularly leave notes on my office with messages such as "die", "eat shit" etc. Its good fun lads, don't lose yer heads over it.6 -
Monday starts amazing.
Team Leader is mad that i didn't attend a party, and insists to know, why i wasnt there.
An event, that per my understanding was obviously an optional event, where colleagues meet, talk about some stuff, and then eat and drink, because it was fucking worded that way in the email. Ah and in that email they also asked us to actively respond, if we want to participate.
Me, naturally: Obviously an optional event, go figure.9 -
So, I'm a veteran. I served in the Army as an information system operator/analyst. Glorified help desk, set up some equipment in the field, a few other small things. But I can make fun of vets, other branches, and those serving. I've paid my dues, and they're OK with it. Hell, they all do it too. But you have to be a vet or currently serving.
I feel like that with tech too. My buddies and I call each other geeks/nerds all the time. I get annoyed (read as pissed off) when someone from the outside does it.
I got an email from a recruiter that said something along the lines of "..basically a bunch of really smart nerds building software..." What the actual fuck? Go eat an entire bag of dicks, and choke on every single one.12 -
Coding is like the minds virus for me. I can't stop, but I sometimes question if it's good for me. Work is ok nowadays, but keeping a balance in hobbies is so hard. When I discover something new that's fun it can eat me up for days. But that excitement can leave just as quickly with very few projects ever finished as a result.2
-
Just had a talk with my manager who wanted to know why I removed a feature from an application we had. This removal had been discussed WITH THE MANAGER several months prior, but apparently they hadn't written a little note or anything down about it.
I told them we had discussed it earlier. They didn't believe me. They checked the project technical specifications that said it _should still be there_. I told them we talked about it previously. They told me to prove it, so I go looking through the commit history.
Lo and behold:
- Commit <hash> authored 4 months ago.
- Update to specifications, asked for by <manager>
Eat it.2 -
I hate touching my keyboard when I eat... I usually put some video to watch and start eating. But every single time it goes like this:
Me: "Finally finish that piece of code, time to cook some food!"
*After cooking and back in front of my screen ready to enjoy the next episode of my favorite show*
Brain: "Wtf are you doing! You have better things to do than watching this garbage! Like implementing all 101 improvements you thought about while cooking!" -
I am currently doing my first ever internship. It is a medium-ish sized IT company and I basically do stuff in networking and software development. I sit on my chair, wheel it back and forth the small space behind my desk for like and hour. Then I go to the cafeteria, eat whatever is there (it’s absolutely free? Hopefully). There is a pool table which is always occupied. Then I sit in the lab and configure routers till 8 in the night. Boring.
I am developing a management system side by side so I break my head over server side routes (seriously, they are confusing) over the night.
So coffee is my mantra and boring is my life.2 -
Just don't open it...
Will definitely not pretend to be productive 24/7. But the below help me reach a satisfactory 8/5 most day's.
- Exercise in the morning
- Eat breakfast
- Listen to good music
- Make sure to have fun moments throughout the workday (++ for initiating)
- Catch air, have a walk, take a break
- Minimize interactions with toxic people
- Be open in sharing knowledge, thoughts, work , good people will repay you
- Get in the kitchen, cook nice healthy meals
- Set concrete and reachable targets
- Remain eager to learn
- Celebrate successes
- Spent time with friends and family
- Catch enough sleep
And above all, DON'T open devRant!!! -
1. Go to my setup
2. Lights off
3. Lamp on
4. Door closed
5. Headphones on
6. Run zone.bat or zone.sh depending (yes, I have a script - it puts on music, at wherever I am in the album, changes sound & display settings, and a few other things.
7. Set breaktime alarm (I forget otherwise)
8. Code
9. When breaktime alarm goes off:
9a. Get a ginger beer and since biscuits
9b. Eat
9c. Repeat from 74 -
For fucks sake! It's 2018 and MS™ Excel™ is still not able to store a file in UTF-8...
And neither can you choose the separators when opening a CSV.
Go eat a bag of corporate dicks and greedily choke on it to an agonizing death.5 -
Question for the old timers: is it possible to work as a dev for the rest of your life and be happy?
.
.
.
Does it get any better or is dev burnout baked into the business model of every company?
The CEO flat out admitted it was exactly that where I'm at a few weeks ago 😞16 -
programming is not a piece of cake that you come and eat.
friend of mine thinks programming is so simple.
fuck you who think its easy it takes hours of dedication6 -
I'm trying to explain to this dumb mf-er why we can't use send data simply.
It's a mobile platform I said, you can't rely on having network I said, the dumbass users might try it on 2% battery I said.
DO'H BUT MY INTERZ CAN DO IT IN 5 MINUTES.
Yeah, enjoy crashing the app with asynctask like a stupid bitch. When it fails under nearly every possible condition that deviates from the ideal, you can go write down how great your interns are, eat it up, shit it out and when you grow a flower from that, then I might help you again.
Retard server people.6 -
I had a question about a software concepts I didn't understand so I posted it to softwareengineering.stackexchange.com since stackoverflow would eat me for trying to ask for help with a concept.
I thought nothing was worse than stackoverflow...
I was wrong, in the first 2 minutes I got 2 downvotes and no comments why I got downvoted. I checked other posts...
All downvoted at least -3 and no comments why.
Congrats Software Engineering you stole the crown for most toxic community from stack5 -
It's interesting that AAA games are becoming analogous to pop music, as they relate to the medium of which they are part. E3 is just a bunch of trailers for rushed sequels to existing, played-out franchises. The big price tags are almost universally not worth it, as these games typically release with major bugs, and often rely on grind-enforced microtransactions.
Meanwhile, indie games keep getting better, more innovative, and remain reasonably priced. Ubisoft, EA, Bethesda, Rockstar, and the rest of the big-budget studios can eat my ass.14 -
While attending an internal training session (some joining the meeting online and some present in the room), an online attendee did not mute their microphone and proceed to eat a packet of crisps/chips. And not softly, but like a horse.
We were also recording it, so now we can listen to it over and over ...1 -
Look here Mr Senior Tech if you don’t know 100% what you’re doing, don’t fucking touch the goddamn firewall with your fucking sausage fingers and you overblown call center team lead. I mean you need to have the confidence you would have if you were eating a banana and some one told you it was a poisonous berry, you’d laugh and eat it anyway, cause it’s obviously a banana. That’s the kind of confidence you need to have when fucking with the entire goddamn network configurations. I just went thru a 7 hour shit show because you THOUGHT you knew what you were doing. Not a damn thing was broken there. One service needed a hole in the firewall and you fucked all this beyond an easy fix. Now I’ll admit I don’t have that much confidence working with the firewall, that’s why I would fucking cal one of the companies that set it up even though we don’t necessarily have a support contract, it would have cost a lot damn less to have them work on it than for the whole company to be down and for me to have to stress over every fucking thing going (or not going) on.
-
This is fucking mental. Nextjs is a fucking unoptimized piece of fucking trash framework. When i dont touch it for several days magically everything breaks and no longer works. What the FUCK is this garbage framework.
Also i just npm run dev after 3 days of not touching the project, when it started routing is fucking dead, freezes and loading forever, getting stuck at UI, checked activity monitor just to see this piece of fucking cum eat 330-390% of my fucking CPU
Powered by Shitcel
Nextjs unstable cum gargled bullshit garbage framework for script kiddies who think they know shit about programming but they're mindless retards who know nothing about security, jwt tokens or even devops infrastructure or IaC. Fucking useless overexaggerated trillions of dollars of marketing budget for Shitcel's framework called nextjs is not as good as the fake marketing campaign portrayed it to be. It was all a fabricated lie. A fascade. A hollywood shitshow. A faked moon landing type of framework. A fucking meme framework. Fucking pissed off for wasting my time learning it15 -
Why do people eat at their work desk? This fuckety fuck is putting her sticky spoon in her mouth with some pungent shit in it. And its fucking my nose up.
They also make their workplace dirty with bits all around. You have a cafeteria for fucks sake. Get your lazy ass up there and eat.18 -
Come the fuck on!
AngularJS, or should I call it AidsJS, seems to magically stop sending data as 'form-data'.
2 hours of debugging and this rusty piece of junk won't bow down before my magic hands!
Go eat a rotten turd candy, Google!4 -
Today I went into the 1 holer restroom right after my boss. I braced myself for the worse as the toilet seat was down. To my surprise it smelled like bubble gum. So my boss's shit doesn't stink, it smells like bubble gum.
What that hell do you have to eat to make your shit smell like bubble gum?24 -
>Why is chrome making my computer turn off all of a sudden?
<Boss, you have a quite old iMac with fully updated chrome, which is known to eat RAM. PLus, you've been using that computer as a donkey to do video editing, even tho it's not made for that (looking at the stats), and you have your home folder on an external hard drive, plus like 10 other apps always active, including premiere, illustrator, airmail (with 12k emails always loaded smh), slack on 2 workspaces and at LEAST 12 chrome tabs on some of the heaviest websites
>Mmh... yeah you're right, I'm kinda asking for it2 -
Today the struggle was real.
But damn if it isn't days like this where you learn real shit.
Fighting with a debian VM for half the day to make a local development environment. I'm tired, but everything works, the project looks good, and I'm just sorta angry/tired/proud now.
I learned so much, and now want pie. I am going to go eat some pie.3 -
My olfactory hallucinations really made things complicated. Not only whatever I eat that is not raw iceberg salad smells like rotten flesh, I also can’t choose a deodorant.
I got nivea one and threw it away.
I got old spice one and threw it away.
Now I got chanel one and I like it and I DONT FUCKING KNOW if I like it because it smells good to me or because I’m actually hyperconsumerist no matter how hard I deny it. Does being a hyoerconsumerist make me bad? What is bad in that context? Is a kind of reasoning bad only because if everyone follows that reasoning the world will be fucked? Are there good reasonings then, but not like zen, the ones that actually lead to scientific progress. Is scientific progress a good criteria to judge?23 -
Why do co workers find it acceptable to eat and type on their keyboard with greasy fingers and then go on to ask for help only to realise that my fingers are wet / greasy seconds later.... eugh1
-
NO MICROSOFT FOR FUCK SAKE NO!
I have a fucking 15inch screen and that left side menu is eating 25% of it! IF you gonna throw in a new "Creative" design, make the damn menu re sizable, NO I DO NOT WANT TO HIDE THE LABELS AND MEMORIZE YOUR STUPID ICONS!
At least do what Gitlab did, a nice small menu that DOES NOT EAT HALF THE DAMN SCREEN!
Oh, did I say anything about sub menu hell that pops up whenever your mouse hover over any of the items on the left? Yaaa... that goes to a brand new rant!19 -
Just spent 6-8 hours or so trying to get image uploading to work with sending messages with firebase. Finally completed it.
Disclaimer: this might not make the most sense as I am completely drained mentally.
The issue was that I wasn't calling the send message method inside the upload image method. Meaning the images would upload but before I would be able to get the Uri back from firebase to put in the hashmap for the messages, the message hashmap would already be sent.
It was a pain in the ass to do. But 5 windows and 40 tabs later, then some doc reading. Then a quick break to eat. And some more stressing about my code. I finally realized that I should have just called the send message inside the incomplete listener in the image upload.
TLDR;
"uploadImage(), sendMessage()"= no Uri; :(
"UploadImage() { sendMessage() } = Uri" :)
PS: Yes, this is me talking to myself on my other account10 -
That's it, where do I send the bill, to Microsoft? Orange highlight in image is my own. As in ownly way to see that something wasn't right. Oh but - Wait, I am on Linux, so I guess I will assume that I need to be on internet explorer to use anything on microsoft.com - is that on the site somewhere maybe? Cause it looks like hell when rendered from Chrome on Ubuntu. Yes I use Ubuntu while developing, eat it haters. FUCK.
This is ridiculous - I actually WANT to use Bing Web Search API. I actually TRIED giving up my email address and phone number to MS. If you fail the I'm not a robot, or if you pass it, who knows, it disappears and says something about being human. I'm human. Give me free API Key. Or shit, I'll pay. Client wants to use Bing so I am using BING GODDAMN YOU.
Why am I so mad? BECAUSE THIS. Oauth through github, great alternative since apparently I am not human according to microsoft. Common theme w them, amiright?
So yeah. Let them see all my githubs. Whatever. Just GO so I can RELAX. Rate limit fuck shit workaround dumb client requirements google can eat me. Whats this, I need to show my email publicly? Verification? Sure just go. But really MS, this looks terrible. If I boot up IE will it look any better? I doubt it but who knows I am not looking at MS CSS. I am going into my github, making it public. Then trying again. Then waiting. Then verifying my email is shown. Great it is hello everyone. COME ON MS. Send me an email. Do something.
I am trying to be patient, but after a few minutes, I revoke access. Must have been a glitch. Go through it again, with public email. Same ugly almost invisible message. Approaching a billable hour in which I made 0 progress. So, lets just see, NO EMAIL from MS, Yes it appears in my GitHub, but I have no way to log into MS. Email doesnt work. OAuth isn't picking it up I guess, I don't even care to think this through.
The whole point is, the error message was hard to discover, seems to be inaccurate, and I can't believe the IRONY or the STUPIDITY (me, me stupid. Me stupid thinking I could get working doing same dumb thing over and over like caveman and rock).
Longer rant made shorter, I cant come up with a single fucking way to get a free BING API Key. So forget it MS. Maybe you'll email me tomorrow. Maybe Github was pretending to be Gitlab for a few minutes.
Maybe I will send this image to my client and tell him "If we use Bing, get used to seeing hard to read error messages like this one". I mean that's why this is so frustrating anyhow - I thought the Google CSE worked FINE for us :/ -
Best:
Leaving my work in the soul crushing dog eat dog world of transportation and logistics for higher education software for colleges and universities .
I work at a college and I fucking love it and love my team.
Worst:
The soulc crushing dog eat dog world of transportation and logistics where I worked as a backend developer and lead mobile developer. Not only did it made me hate and despise native android development, but it also made me despise the human race as a whole. Watching a motherfucker letting go of employees that he knew personally (as in bbq with their families and shit) because my software automated a large portion of their work(it was meant to make it easier for them for that i was originally told) was absolute and total bullshit and i still carry that fucking remorse with me. After that I vowed never to do that sort of bullshit work again....sort off. No one gets fired at this institition for it. Logistics sucks big monkey dick and the people there are the absolute fucking worst. Every single motherfucker i met was a fucking shark, all of them and they would not think about fucking people over if it saved them some money.
Yeah, that even tops the military and that was fuuuull of fuck fuck games and other similar fuckery.2 -
I am learning java at school and my teacher asked me to make a work on JTA (java transaction API). There's not a lot of tutos on it on the web so I say to myself "go on, give it a try, you'll only learn by trying."
I finally find how to make the @TransactionType, where to put the @Stateless, my test works, nice. Finally I want to try a case where it shouldn't work, just to be sure the rollback works well. The test goes and... NullPointerException. Wtf ! Normally, my catch is supposed to, well, catch the error !
And finally, I was just stupid. My catch worked great. But I put a "throw e" inside.
Now I wanna hides under blankets, cry, eat cake and never see my coworkers again.2 -
Have u ever opened youtube app on ur phone and started watching a yt video but before u could watch that video u got interrupted with an ad that u can not skip and so u got so frustrated to the point that u grabbed ur dick and slapped the phone screen so the ad can eat ur dick and just before the ad expired u jizzed on the face of that ad and so when the ad was about to finish there was a skip button so u tapped that button not with ur finger but with the tip of ur dick although it was difficult to do that because the jizz kind of interfered with ur touch screen controls so u had to wipe the jizz from ur phone screen with ur dick into the mouth of whoever was in the ad in order to properly press the skip button for that ad so u can simply skip it and finally start watching the yt video that u were initially trying to do ?6
-
After I cured my depression with Vortioxetine which was prescribed to me because of pure luck, I can notice that something has changed.
I can't tell if I like or don't like something anymore. It doesn't matter now which food to eat, what music to listen to, I just can't see the difference. I dropped all my side projects, quit my job and got another, much easier one. I don't see the big picture of things anymore. I also lost my ability to reverse-engineer problematic outcomes and find solutions.
I used to be an architect but now I can't design anything, I just forgot how to do what I could do without thinking. I forgot Lisp and Clojure, functional programming is too hard for me now. I just don't understand it.
My iq also significantly dropped.
Summarizing all that, and also remembering that liking or not liking something implies that you have a personality, I can only see one reason – I probably don't have a personality anymore.
Here's a summary of my experiences from when I was depressed:
depression makes you dumb
you struggle with simplest tasks
you only eat and go to the bathroom because sometimes your basic instincts win
depression takes your power of will – the most valuable thing you have
society doesn't understand and shames you
you can't think
you can't focus
you can't study
you need money but you can't make it
you don't have that save space inside your thoughts anymore
you don't have dreams
your sleep schedule is fucked
every night there's a nightmare and you can't wake up
you can't cry
they prescribe you one neuroleptic after another and they only makes it worse, turning you into a vegetable
you feel nothing but shame and irrational infinite guilt10 -
Having the coder anxiety, can't finish code in one sitting, getting anxious, not eating because cannot eat while in the middle of something "important". Trying to finish it anyway, getting more tired, staying up too late, losing concentration on the next day and doing it all over again...2
-
I'm fucking tired of putting my efforts into bug fixes.
5 years of web. I never had a client that likes to keep it's crappy slow piece of shit product on the market in the exact same way it is.
If they didn't sell it to state employees (and good luck for them if they do not use it) their product would be dead.
That's the only way they get money: bids. And the minimum a state pays is 15 MILLION.
And they don't have 90K to pay another dev to help creating a new product.
Their CEO fucking REJECTS anything that's not a bug fix. Once he said to our PM:
"It's pretty and more fast, but wasn't this way that made me rich"
I'm thinking I'm getting another client, seriously. Everyday the same thing breaks and they already know the fucking answer:
WE NEED TO FUCKING REFACT
CREATE A NEW FUCKING PROJECT
This shit is making crazy. I can't sleep. I can't eat and I'm always fucking tired, no matter what I do.
I need to stop working for Brazilians.
I'll try US, Canada or somewhere in Europe.8 -
How many of you actually study without any sort of aiding substance such as coffee or vitamin pills? I do, for instance.
I don't use any aid but it makes it more difficult sometimes. I just eat wholesome food and work out to make my brain have enough energy to process difficult matter.30 -
My superpower: having the flu will not affect me whatsoever...but it will get everyone else in my vicinity SICK af.
Which is why my sexy ass was sent home since Monday and I have been living life at home this week. I haven't taken a vacation in so long, and this feels nice. HR fucked up and their dumbasses said I was not "cleared" to work from home. Yet I have over 200 hours accumulated of sick leave.
My department is in flames because I am needed there. Of course, every other department thinks I don't do shit all day, the only one that knows how much I do is my boss, bless him. But for every other motherfucker that thinks that I am here just playing with my thumbs all day: eat shit...und die.11 -
Hi all,
This might be a long post so bear with me. I work for a company and there was a project for a huge client. I'm junior in skill (been programming for about two years) but my job title doesn't reflect that. Anyways, I got the design about a month ago but I was on deadline for two other projects so I couldn't pick it up until last week Wed. Ironically, that's when the final design was delivered & told me it was due next week Wednesday. I built it as fast as I could. Finished mobile but for some reason, this last part for desktop just wasn't working out and it just so happens to be the most crucial part of the piece. (I was also sick the entire time and didn't sleep for the last two days nor did I eat). I was supposed to demo it yesterday but I still needed to make a few updates and the project coordinator took me off the project & gave it to a dev with more experience. This has never happened to me before. I'd go as far as to say this is my first big fuck up. I've always delivered on deadline and I'm taking this pretty hard. Has anyone been in similar situations? What do I do? Any advice?1 -
Separation of concerns is a beautiful thing.
JSX is fucking ugly. Fuck that shit. I hate JSX with a passion.
Here is one. Did you know that the digestive system works really hard to digest the food eaten?
How about we blend all the food before consuming it? Take a blender and add a cup of coffee, add some salad, add a piece of cake, a few slices of pizza, hot sauce and for good measure add some juice, or whatever-you-eat-for-lunch.
After all, all that food is going to get mixed anyway. This is more efficient!
No? Why not? Because it's ugly, highly unappetizing, disgusting even, and it takes away the pleasure of eating, the enjoyment of a good meal.
That in a nutshell is JSX: mashing up everything together under the pretext of efficiency.
Web development not only is an art, but above all must be enjoyable to those who devote their lives to it. And ugly ain't gonna cut it.11 -
Multiple all-nighters (all day every day):
1) Working, studying and developing an Android game as pet project. Last few weeks before release (yup, I've set a deadline for a pet project) my day consisted of uni, work, more work and 4-5h sleep.
2) Having worked on my thesis (Development of a CPU/SoC + Firmware + Linux kernel) and actual paid work. In parallel. Because, you know, I need to eat and pay rent and shit while I'm writing the thesis. And debts at that moment were not an option (still made some). All-day all-night all-week. After submitting the thesis I went to the doc and enjoyed 2 weeks of doing nothing.
3) Sometimes on my main open-source project after regular work hours. If I have the motivation and ideas that I want to check out or prove it gets late/early too fast. -
You see that, over there?
That massive, 10-ton bag of dicks sitting there in the corner?
Secure Code Warrior can eat that ENTIRE FUCKING THING!
SO many flaws in their tests... SO much HIGHLY questionable content... utterly RIDICULOUS bullshit code with no comments and no context... asking me fucking Angular questions when I'm doing an Express test... two answers that are IDENTICAL... and a busted-ass site on top of it all.
I hate this motherfucking bullshit SO much, and at this moment I hate my employer even more for forcing me to deal with it.
But, hey, I hope you enjoy no work getting done today since you seem to prefer I do this instead, so I guess I'll just scare my dog some more as I yell about this bullshit.
Fuck you Secure Code Warrior, fuck you very, VERY much.7 -
• I listen to music
• I eat/drink something
• I go to the toilet and think about unrelated stuff (which might actually provide a solution)
• I go to sleep
I try the top one first, and if it doesn't work, the next one, and so on, until I am done with the last one. -
I am in a ranting mood today.
I HATE "day in the life of a SWE" videos. Especially the ones where they work from home.
They basically show that they sleep/eat all day and get very little done. I know it's for entertainment or comedic effect but it makes me uneasy about the image that they are projecting to the world.
People already don't think we deserve the salary that we make and when they see these videos the idea gets re-enforced into their heads.
I've been working from home for 3 years and my day is NOTHING like what these content creators show in their videos. It's a bunch of meetings and a lot of coding with very little rest.2 -
#require "A rant from a few days ago in which some guy actually did this";;
Current fantasy: I wish the two assholes sitting at the table next to mine in the cafe and being super loud and obnoxious were discussing a business idea so that I could buy their domain name and put a large "eat a bag of dicks" type picture on it.5 -
Hm.
Was very frustrated from work.
Started cooking.
Simple gnocchis with tomato / paprika sauce.
Might have been a little distracted...
I've grabbed a regular sized spoon instead of a tea spoon.
I've handmade ungarian puszta.
I've added a full spoon of it to the sauce.
It's very spicy and hot.
I'll guess my guts are in hell mode for the next days.
But it's delicious.
Remember kids: always eat up what you cooked.
Even if it seems to kill you by burning your insides out.13 -
!dev
I'm always torn at the gym:
As a former rower, it gives me almost physical pain to see people on the rowing machines, flailing around and almost falling off sideways (rowing is an elegant, albeit masochistic sport).
However, as a swiss person, strangers are my natural predator and might eat me alive if I dare speak to them...3 -
In-person interview follow up from my phone interview last week. I hope I nail it. Stressing though. Gotta eat, drink water, and calm the hell down.1
-
Just found this today in the Terms for a VPN provider...
hide.me uses Google Analytics to analyze in aggregate information about our website visitors. When your web browser loads a page on our site, a small snippet of javascript code is executed within your browser which submits information about the device from which you are connecting such as your browser user-agent, language, screen resolution, referring website, etc. to the Google Analytics service. To enhance your anonymity, hide.me have opted to only allow Google to collect only a portion of the IP address. Google Analytics may also store a web cookie to facilitate the identification of users who revisit the site. If users are concerned with being tracked by Google analytics scripts on hide.me or any other site running Google analytics, we recommend installing a browser add-on which allows you to opt out.
source: https://hide.me/en/legal
ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING?!? GO BOIL WHAT SMALL MAN JUNK YOU HAVE AND EAT IT.2 -
Dev hours for a 2 week sprint is eaten by countless meetings and the deadline will not move. During sprint planning all meetings should be stated there or there will be number of hours allowed for the meetings as it will eat development hours.
I hate meetings all of a sudden during development.2 -
Microsoft is asshoe.
They tried to force update a Windows 10 Home machine to Windows 11. Nobody clicked okay on anything. It had icon in task bar indicating it would install it on reboot. I had to go into the update settings to click "no for now". Fuck you microsoft. Eat shit and die. Just leave my shit alone.11 -
During Summer I'm tired because it's too hot.
Now it's getting cold, it's getting harder to get out of bed...
And the heater makes me tired too...
Plus there's the not going out or, moving as much... Which may also be due to being tired.
And well in general, I seem to not feel like doing anything lately... Because I'm tired....
Seems like my routine is consolidating to: sleep, eat, work...
And if I had a choice it would just be sleep...
I need to get out of bed now so can eat and go work..... But I don't wanna.....
Is it just me? Any tips to break the cycle?18 -
I really gotta stop accepting food from other people
my birthday was the other day and my roommate wanted to get me something special to eat for free
I said I keep dreaming of the samosa salad from Indian places he would get and I would keep stealing a spoon full of to try (this was after I got sick and insensitive to food so I was cautious)
he insisted it was from this fast food place... that's weird. I don't think it was. he insists all Indian places have it on their menu but he just didn't know. and he was getting this fast food's place one and that's the one I liked. ok. I consent.
I go running, come back, shower, hungry and food arrived, so I scuff down half the samosa salad thing
now I feel like trash
and it tastes nothing like it
it has fucking BBQ sauce in it. no yogurt. it's supposed to be Indian. what the fuck, sweet-ass bqq sauce? the spiciness is some retarded white people taste. this isn't the punch of Indian food.
30% of the mass is cucumber. wat. there's fucking pomegranate seeds in it so you can't even chew it. what am I even eating. the samosa pieces are all soggy and not crunchy like I remember. the spiciness sucks. there's no yogurt to counteract it either. just pathetic
and now I feel like garbage. I feel sick to my stomach. because that BBQ sauce was a lot more sugar than you could taste.
I fucking hate my life. I hope I don't get sick from the food, cuz I have food insensitivities... and I knew before when I took spoonfuls of what he ordered they didn't effect me... but that wasn't this.
this fucker literally lied and used me to order food guilt-free under the pretense of "hey it's your birthday and I wanna get you a meal". and he orders disgusting fast food that isn't even food. "for me". while lying to me. me who can't even eat the damned cherries I love without my brain degrading because those are too much sugar. what the hell is wrong with this guy
I know I got downvoted for this before but fuck I hate fat people. I don't want to eat fast food. I want real food. I don't want to get sick off fake fucking BBQ sauce infused with disgusting sugar. all this guy does is make excuses for the food he wants to eat. maybe I'm just literally food insensitive watching him eat himself to death I don't know. I feel like puking
I swear nothing good anyone ever does for you is ever for you. people are rotten.40 -
HP makes shit devices. How the fuck you gonna regress with product design from 7 years ago?
Like whos the fucktard that thinks “how about in order to swap a keyboard, we make the user take EVERYTHING out and then put it into a new upper housing?”
Or my favorite is “instead of screwing a screen panel in, lets use some painfully difficult to access stretch tape?”
Fuck HP’s product design team. If by some off chance any of yall know anyone who’s part of that team, tell them i said they can eat a fat dick and get aids.6 -
I'm the lead dev on this team. The project is split into multiple separate modules to comply with separation of concerns, and so new devs don't need the whole fucking codebase (risking them running away with everything) to contribute to the project as a whole.
So we don't need a fucking config file to enable and disable features.
So we don't need to upload a 500mb monolith every time we want to test a change.
So we can test old fucking versions of modules without merging it back into the entire codebase.
What did this fucking dev do? He was having one small issue with Maven. One. It wasn't updating his local snapshots to the correct Artifactory version.
He decided, instead of trying to fucking fix it: HEY, LETS IGNORE THE LEAD DEV'S DEMAND TO KEEP THEM SEPARATE. IM GOING TO MERGE THEM INTO ONE MODULE FOR SOME FUCKING REASON.
I refuse to continue working with this dev if he's going to sidestep my demands and undermine my authority. He wants to go it alone? Be my fucking guest. I'm not touching his shitty single-codebase monolithic monstrosity.
If this is going to be a regular fucking occurrence, he can eat a dick and choke on it.2 -
There should be one day a year when random spam emails become true when you click on them.
It should be random for everyone so you never know what day it is and also happen instantly when you click on message.
World would be full of millionaires, guys with enormous penises. Everyone will eat food all the time cause you can lose all of your unnecessary weight with single click and whole internet will flood with spam emails.
Instead of scrolling trough news and social networks people would click on spam emails waiting for the day their spam will be fulfilled.
Economy would eventually collapse and most of us would be no different than monkey in some crazy experiment waiting for it’s banana.
It can be called fulfilled spam message paradox.
It would be funny alternative reality.3 -
Fuck these SJWs, what kind of society respects and validates the opinion of irrational, psychologically mutilated humanoids. how long will people let them.
And I don't care if try to mute my freedom of speach, I will say what I wish, whether is sexist, racist, or offensive in general
But what happens when progress decays because of it?! Yesterday, this master/puppet situation, today Linus leaves Linux, what if tomorrow I am not allowed to eat chocolate because it's offensive for the people of Ivory coast who slave for it, what if tomorow I can't say that the sun is blue, because it'd be offensive to colorblind people? Until when is this society going to regress?
I hope live in a modern Babylon world which is to be teared down and burned to ashes, buried deep underground, down by fascist nationalist with no sense of moral freedom of speach and justice, because I feel like it would happen anyways.2 -
FUCKING SANGOMA WTF???????
You buy FreePBX and then convert great modules from OPEN SOURCE to Commercial.... I get it. Developers need to eat. But I've reviewed the new features and you aren't adding value. Just hiding precious standards behind a pay wall.
FUCK IT. I'LL CODE THIS SHIT MYSELF.1 -
I can't work
I can't sleep
I can't eat
I can't code
I can't go have fun
I can't have a conversation
Because I've got a new exciting idea "💡" buzzing all over my mind all the time.
It's been 9 days already and it's still exciting, probably even more. I think that means it might be worth going ahead and realising it.6 -
Dropped Comcast cable & phone. I have to keep their internet. 11 days ago after cancelling the service on the phone I went to UPS store and shipped their equipment. A few days ago I get confirmation email that my equipment has been received by them. Today I get my bill and it is the whole bill despite my cancellation and despite the fact that I was without any service for 13 days. So I call them for a wtf session and they tell me my services show all up and nothing has been cancelled. I have to call the cancellation department again tomorrow because they are closed Sundays. I have had at least twenty calls with Comcast this month. At this point I am willing to pay twice the going eat for Google Fiber just to get rid of Comcast once and for all.5
-
Selenium++
Woke up at 6am today and couldn't go back to sleep...
So I my Watcher app to support Selenium and provide it to all the extensions (plugins) via the common Interface.
Now I don't need to check the Anime site manually when they release movies or blurays...
And have 1 hr to eat breakfast and get some coffee as I have a release at 9... And now I'm sleepy... -
my covid is still not recovered. Today marks the two weeks. I got fever the first day and then fever was gone but body pain and weakness was there. In 2 days, body pain was gone too. Now I couldn't only eat well. So tried light food but after sometime it was harder to eat properly.
Now I'm having the same diet I used to have before covid, but I'm still not feeling well. I feel pain in my shoulders. My heart races almost all the time and that gives restlessness to my days and it's very hard to focus because of that. Family issues, work, excitement of switching companies, even small bit of sound makes me more restless. If someone has the same symptoms when did they last?27 -
!rant
Met up with a good friend today we go off roaring all the time since we both own hooked up Jeep wranglers. Well we got together and after a fun day of crawling (no coding 😞) lol, We went to eat and I pulled up devRant and kind of mentioned how much I loved this little app and stuff and why it was about. Well turns out that I’ve been friends with this guy for sometime and we never talked profession. This guy is the Vice President to a large scale software development company here in my state!
I was dumbfounded ! Lol all this time this dude has been in the same field and I had no clue.
(I don’t get out much) 😅8 -
Day 2 of devWholesome...
Have another great day! Have fun and do something productive! It is always a great feeling when you finish something that requires a lot of time and effort. Finish that project that you started but never finished, clean your room, or maybe just catch up on school work! Make sure you are also taking care of yourself with your hygiene and to eat all your meals and drink plenty of water. If you are feeling stressed today, take a break and relax! And again, make the most out of your day!4 -
Man I am sick and tired of developers (I was about to put that in quotes, but it's mean), acting "cool" all the time. Like let me just put it out there, WTF is dAy iN tHE LiFE oF A sOftWaRe deVELoper.
Get the fuck out here. All you do is eat, walk, eat, chat, laugh and fuck around all day, with no work being done. And I'm supposed to respect you. Educate these young and fresh developers on what it is really like, rather than teasing them with the ideal life they think it is.10 -
Is it okay for software engineers like us to go out to eat every day? I just don’t find the time to cook for myself. And honestly the time spent cooking would be better spent learning (judging by our hourly rate). Do you think it’s okay for devs to have such a luxurious life style (eating out is a privilege!) because our minds are so taxed on learning and creating?4
-
Just came across a few rants blaming coursework, which doesn't have anything to do with programming. To them I wanna say two things:
1. Programming is modelled on everything other than programming. So it helps to know a bit about that 'everything'.
2. The famous author James Altucher has had 14 careers in 25 years. Not 14 jobs. 14 careers, including photography, authorship, entrepreneurship, finance planning, and more.
So stop bitching and eat your frog/broccoli.7 -
Happy Christmas to you, your Family and Friends!
Take rest, eat well, go to places you like, meet people who you like and who like you, travel to nearby places, learn a coding thing or two, listen to music or watch your favourite movie/TV show. Just do what you want to do. Have fun and make it memorable! :-)1 -
New in my job
Start to work on a abandoned project for one of our client not very happy cause the lack of update
Go for a critical issue which exists since 2 months where everyone was telling me that they passed a huge time working on it with no answer
*check error*
*check code*
The code is so fucking much not DRY so I was able to see the same 4-5 incriminated lines elsewhere
*see that the request is lacking of one parameters just has the error suggests*
*copy paste the missing line*
*it works*
I’m now a hero for them but they become fucking peasants for me
(In addition, when code reviewing, some one had the nerve to tell me that “haha it was nothing much finally, it was easy”
To him : fuck you, eat my 💩) -
Write an app or design a toilet that checks consistency of my poop and tells me what to eat
Suggestions are welcome on what to call it11 -
Why is learning a new language from python such a bitch? Like, w h a t t h e f u c k. Syntax can eat my ass with that semi colon no semi colon bullshit. Also fuck the compiler with it always having an error and shit. I was lowkey just trying to compile the shortest shit but cant get through s h i t. Fuck life I swear I'm gonna shoot my computer if I get another error.25
-
dark chocolate is so good. I'm addicted and keep eating so much of it every day of late
is there foods you find extremely pleasurable to eat?19 -
Fucking regulations, can’t play with twilio api.
Waiting for verification of my identity to make a fucking test call to myself.
Wanted to make a proof of concept during weekend, but won’t happen cause some fucking policies.
Fuck you government pigs.
Probably need to wait to fucking Monday. I will forget what I wanted to do till that time.
We are making your life easier all the time in the news, yeah right eat those popups motherfuckers.
Next regulation - government code reviews before push to master and programmer certification, for sure those fuckers are able to do it.
Really considering emigration from Europe right now.
No fucking point to start a business on this continent.
More fucking law please so we would need a lawyer before wiping ass.
Need to watch that southpark episode about security toilet checkout once again.2 -
So, is there something called Chicken Snack Wrap in other McDonalds ?
It has chicken, bacon, and lettuce in tortilla.
Just got curious cuz thats the only thing i eat in McDonalds. Lol11 -
The real problem it is that i can write lines of code and build algorithm in a fastest way in the late night.
Meanwhile in the afternoon I just wanna eat pizza and sleep on the sofa.5 -
Caffeine is crucial but I’m trying to moderate it! What good does it do if you have to drink 5 cups of coffee everyday to feel normal! I drink coffee like Hobbits eat! Breakfast coffee, second breakfast coffee, elevensies coffee, lunch coffee, onesies coffee...2
-
I think my ultimate life fantasy is to chew mouthful of m&m's for hours.
It feels kind of extremely selfish and greedy to eat it like that.2 -
Windows defender, this is for you:
GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU CANCEROUS PIECE OF SHIT!
If you were as advanced as you claim to be you'd realize that the EXE you've just deleted originated from a compiler. Unfortunately, your target group exclusively consists of people that are incapable of using anything that goes beyond a web browser.
If your developers would have some kind of integrity it would allow you to be turned off permanently instead of making users leave the Windows platform entirely.
Do Microsoft employees even eat their own dog food like they did back in the golden NT era?8 -
Establishing an eating schedule was truly a brilliant decision. It allowed me not to eat right before I go to sleep, keeping my stomach empty and making my body lose fat every single night.
As far as I keep breathing, the chemical reaction that makes me alive (CHn + O2 => H20 + CO2 + Energy) just need to continue, and when my stomach is empty, my body is just forced to burn fat.
It works like a charm. No “fat-burning” supplements and other MLM BS is needed. You just need to adjust the schedule so you never feel hungry. If you need to eat five times a day to achieve this, so be it. Just allow two to three weeks to establish a schedule and learn how to maintain it. Recurrent reminder apps are helpful.
I’m off liraglutide for more than two months now and I’m keep losing weight without any meds and my digestive behavior changed entirely.
If only I had emotional resources to make this happen earlier, there wouldn’t be pre-diabetes, numb feet, apnoe, stretch marks… -
Between me and my wife, we pull in 300k CAD a year, but we're still middle class. We should be fucking ballers living in a mansion, but I'm still budgeting at the grocery store.
I can afford to keep my house up, raise a family, and have 1 nice vacation a year. I guess it's fucked to complain since others are struggling to eat.
Still it seems crazy.13 -
I think I'm reaching now 40 hours in 3 days coding a function for a nasty grouping report.
Now the report is ready.
Testing with real data I'm 3/4 units off.
Now start at least one full week of monster counting-debugging-fixing on hundred of data.
If somebody get close to me in these days, I'll cut their throat drink their blood and eat their heart still beating, like Aztecs.
I'll have no time to cook or buy anything else to eat anyway, so it will be for survival.1 -
Addition to my posts about getting accepted to faculty of information technology at the Czech Technical University in Prague:
I am now officially in the student life mode :D
Tasting the life at a dormitory and living on my own... (still okay considering that I don't have to work for money, I just ask my mom to send more money when I don't have anything to eat so I can buy the cheapest food I can find to live yet another day 😇)
Soo does anyone reading this post happen to be living at koleje Strahov? I'm in block 7 and you can find me by looking for an MSI gaming notebook with devRant stickers all over it. Hit me up and we can go out and have some beers :)1 -
I've been dreaming about an eat() method in, I guess, Javascript. It would accept a string as parameter and set the cursor position further by the width of that string in the current font and size without displaying the string. A bit like a span with FG == BG.
But the best was the debug mode: the characters would be printed, but a yellow duck would appear from the left and eat them in Pacman style.1 -
I've been in a fucking chat with a Verizon customer service rep for 45 fucking minutes....
Talking about everything under the moon to help the man out from having to do legitimate work. We've talked about phone preference, what phone's we have, what we want, favorite features, ect.
It's fucking hilarious and I'm genuinely entertained right now.
Glad to know I'm helping someone out.
Edit: I was honestly sad when I had to end it so I could eat before my food got ice cold lol3 -
Unfeasible deadlines eat motivation.
I'm wondering how many such deadlines it needs until I'm incapable of doing anything.2 -
33 hours
My shift (9h, afternoon-evening) + a shift I had promised to cover for someone (9h, evening-morning) + a day full of lectures (seminars) (morning-afternoon)+my shift (9h, afternoon-evening).
I know that the lectures do not account for "working", but it definitely wasn't "resting" either. Hadn't time to sleep or eat at any point. I think I didn't even drive back home after the last shift - took the bus, because at that point I couldn't even remember where I left my car... And I don't remember getting out of the bus at my stop. No clue how I got to my home/bed. I must've ridden the bus standing to stay awake -
Any people here who experienced derealization?
Just sharing it here because I think that devs (or other stressful desk jobs) are especially susceptible to it.
I’ve had the feeling that my perception of the world has been kinda „weird“ and unsharp for months but I always thought „I’m sure it’s because I drink too much. I’m sure it’s because I don’t eat healthy. I’m sure it’s because I don’t do sports. I’m sure it’s because I don’t sleep enough“ etc.
I knew about derealization but I always had the opinion that it’s one of those psycho diseases that are all made up.
When I started doing some research on it i learned what it actually is..
A „defense“ mechanism of the brain to protect the brain from shocks and stuff or just a mental disturbance and that it’s kind of a vicious circle once you actually notice it.
It’s only getting worse because you focus on it and check in on it if it’s still there..
Just a few days ago I started to ignore it and told myself „it’s fine, it’s a natural experience, just ignore it“. It changed things a lot..
I feel much better just because of the fact that I’m no longer afraid of it.
Enjoy your weekend, cheers!6 -
Hey if you make a js library that doesnt need to be run on backend and dont put it up on a cdn service just npm,
eat shit.3 -
Do you make popcorn because you want to eat it...
Or because you want to see if you can pop all the corn? -
I was trying to build a simple 2D (drag the fish to eat other fish) game in JavaScript, cause why not there are already many libraries i will certainly find one for my use.
I'm already familiar with p5.js thanks to Daniel Shiffman and his coding train sessions.
I thought to build the game with p5.js with the play and 2Dcollide libraries, but it turns out they don't have a custom irregular sprite collision detection neither the other thousands libraries which are rotting on github.
Guess, I need to build somethig own my own.
And I also hate it, cause I have to design those fishes, the main game logic, this collision detection function and levels
I need a coffee with a coding partner2 -
After I was woken up in the morning by my friend that had a meeting nearby.
We went for coffee and as part of usual Wednesday I also decided to go to cinema to see Dr Dollitle ( not verry funny ).
I felt relaxed as everyone fucked off from me since Monday.
I was so happy of doing nothing after the movie I decided to try to make both frontend and backend for new application screens in finite time.
I could have waited for frontend developer to be back from his vacation but since I can also do it I decided to do it myself.
I did frontend part first with mock data and after finishing it before 2 pm asked if client will have time to discuss it. He didn’t so we decided I try to add real data and publish it on test environment.
Well those are mock up screens anyway so I decided to eat and smoke to chill but also try to work anyway.
I just finished backend for those screens and switched test environment to new branch.
Looks like they’re working for biggest client customers.
Usually it takes about a week or two to describe frontend developer what client wants but let’s see if I still have some frontend UX empathy left and can speed up development by couple of days. -
It's just that your team doesn't have experience in "insert platform name here" so we want to use a third party to move "insert product name here" into it.
My first thought: why don't you just train the team with the product knowledge in the new platform rather than the other way around? Does anyone else see this happen and want to eat glass every time it does?4 -
Being the only developer in your circle of non-tech friends is weird 😕.
And why are most female programmers not appealing 🤦♂️.
The beautiful ones are usually clueless and can't get into a ”deep programming concept ”conversation.
I guess I can't eat my cake and have it at a time.18 -
PC Trivia-
1. What does a baby computer call his father?
Data
2. What do you call a computer superhero?
A Screen Saver
3. Why did the computer cross the road?
To get a byte to eat
4. Why did the computer get glasses?
To improve its websight
5. Why did the computer sneeze?
It had a virus
6. Where do computers go to dance?
The disk-o
7. Why did the computer squeak?
Because someone stepped on its mouse
8. What happened when the computer geeks met?
It was love at first site
9. What is an alien’s favorite place on a computer?
The space bar
10. What’s the best way to learn about computers?
Bit by bit3 -
!rant /* but */ is funny == true
Developers! - should browsers forgive you ?
Or put a curse on you so you can never align your elements like you want to ?
You will know you don't want it there and it will annoy you, it will eat you inside looking at that webpage..
Again, W3C guys being straight up no sugar coating 😂😂😂1 -
coding so intensely you forget to eat or sleep and you finally look at the clock realizing its been 3 days since you taken a break and you're wondering how the time disappeared. it feels like it's only been a few hours.
-
The earliest high-profile “native ad” I know of happened in 1831, when Alexander Pushkin released “Evgeny Onegin”. This is a very big deal. Russian Empire had huge cultural influence back then, and it was fashionable. Everything coming from it was cool. Sobranie London still has Russian Empire coat of arms as their logo. Also, Pushkin is regarded by many to be the best Russian poet ever, with Evgeny Onegin being his flagship masterpiece.
So, Breguet, the watch company, decided to advertise in this very piece. It went like this (sorry for the lack of rhyme and the overall lameness in my translation, it is hardly possible to translate Russian poetry to English):
Wearing a wide bolivar hat,
Onegin is going to the avenue
He's chilling there until
Breguet that never sleeps
Chimes him that it is time
To go and get something to eat
To put it into a context, it's as if someone bought an ad in Romeo and Juliet.7 -
Exploring myself was always an existential dread for me, even in childhood.
For any arbitrary thing I always struggle to give straight answers to following questions:
Do I want it?
Do I like it?
The complexity of the topic itself doesn’t matter. From choosing what to eat to reading about ideologies, the fear and confusion remains.3 -
Programming is like getting a crush.
When you couldn't turn her on, you never figure out why.
Even if you did it, you still cannot believe why it could succeed all in a sudden.
The first time you did a unit test
is when you asked if she is okay
for a date; step by step,
In order not to break.
First, ask if she is free; Then, if she really need to eat,
she said OK there.
But, finally she didn't turn up
Integration test failed.
She was such a bitch. -
Viruses are little monsters that eat your computer away (or what's left from it) after it's dead. They start with the heart (BIOS) and then go to the CMOS chip.2
-
Two things I learned in 2023:
- If you want to lose weight, you have to eat more (protein), not eat less
- Unhealthy coping numbs the pain at the moment for the price of amplifying it later4 -
I think Im subconsciously planning my suicide. I already abandoned close relatives and friends. I refuse to work or apply for Jobs. I am lazy and spontaneous. Im back on drugs. I take unnecessary risks. Time is moving fast but slow at the same time. I’m fine with the monotony of slipping down into a deeper hole. I don’t know what hope is. Some days I don’t eat at all or get out of bed. I even started confessing my feelings to people I love but have been scared of. I feel that there is nothing left to do but get rid of this alive feeling and reality as I know it. And related to all of this, I feel apathetic and bored.10
-
For you freelancers out there, I've been working on trying to make some income with it locally, making single page static sites for some local businesses and restaurants so that I can get a couple hundred for making the site and a little over the cost of hosting each month residually, offering like one free menu change per month, but all redesigns and support being hourly.
I want it to be accessible pricing cause like 5 of my favorite places to eat have defunct sites that I think weren't worth the cost anymore, and I'd love to be able to see up to date menus and hours and I'm certain others would too.
Basically, I'm trying to figure out what hosting would be best for this and if I'm being realistic enough with pricing. I like the idea of surge.sh, but I feel like 12/mo for a custom domain SSL, which is good for SSL, is higher than some of the other alternatives for a lightweight one sing page site.
Any help would be great, Have a great new year guys!3 -
I give a draft version of my report to my colleagues so they can review it with things to add or correct while I eat. One of them:
"This report is really well structured. I think there's nothing more to add. Good job!"
I think the finishing touch consisting of "[...]" here and there had him fall in love with it. -
Professor: Where is your coding assignment? Didn't you complete it?
Student: My dog ate my coding assignment.
Professor: How can a dog eat a coding assignment?
Student: My dog started off eating a couple of "bits" of my assignment and didn't realize how did a few "bits" turn into many "bytes".😮1 -
Why is it?
My RAM 8 GB
Chrome eats it all (Talking the pun in it)
My RAM 16 GB
Chrome eats it all
My RAM Infinity
Chrome wait here I come
Why does it eat so much?????18 -
Visual Studio, it was a pain in the butt installing it, it took 5 mints to open in a normal computer, debug would eat all my ram and without resharper is basically uselessundefined seo more useless tags pichardo for president visual studio linux lover algo wk60 hate stuff2
-
A tech as well as a life question (actually more of a useless sleepless thought) : What do you think is more important? Exposing yourself to multiple technologies, career paths and life experiences or diving deep into a single technology, career path and life experience?
I feel like being an expert in 1 tech might pay off in terms of job life , and it would be bad for a person who is constantly switching between career paths, but sometimes i feel like i should have tried other paths too. Not just the life of a techie, like people who are deep into media and journalism, accountancy or those film industry jobs ; politics or finances , etc.
Its like, we found an apple to be a tasty fruit and now we have to be the apple guy forever. The better i am in being the apple guy, the more i will have to eat apples and the more i will earn. Why can't i try pears or oranges?7 -
Eggs cost now 6$... WTF??
I just paid 2 coffees, 1 mineral water and 1 water for 5.36$. ALL OF THAT IS CHEAPER THAN 1 FUCKING EGG??
Serbia is the biggest dogshit country you could ever imagine
The most expensive bullshit that has became is food now.
Why?
Even eating out in restaurants is much fucking cheaper than buying food in stores and cooking at home! This is absolutely fucking ridiculous.
1 egg = 0.01% of my salary (if i accepted such salary). It should be so unbelievably low that i shouldnt worry about buying food. Now i have to be very picky what food i buy and not eat too often
Fuck odff13 -
anyone else ever focused so hard/long that they peeled an orange(mandarin) to eat, then forgot to eat it so long that it was crispy?
i mean like literally the thin skin remaining was actually crispy... this is me taking a break to remember last times i ate/etc... and hopefully not have more crispy oranges... though tbh wasnt bad10 -
everytime i see posts of code humor of doing ordinary things (for example while hungry eat) i wished i was dead.
they are too lazy and beginner. and they exist because the internet gives everyone some chance of exposure.
while this may seem like a positive and democratic thing, it results in too much low quality and everyone's standards getting lowered.
i don't mind people telling bad jokes to friends and family, because at least then even though sometimes people laugh, a frown will surely happen.
while in the internet, you don't get that reaction. In fact, the shittier the thing you post, the more points you get!
this is my version expressing how i feel about the matter:
while !is_dead()
eat_excrement_from(corpse)
bile_and_shit = vomit()
eat(bile_and_shit)
while it is true that most things online are garbage, that also means that some isn't.
for example, code-poetry.com has very clever code poems that actually does run and has some interesting STDOUT. and those do are worthwhile.
let me also do a preemptive comment to the first fucking idiot that posts a "you must be fun at parties". fuck parties and fuck you too.1 -
So, i decided to Start making an Android App (quite a big Project to me), so i we're Reading books und Programming Yesterday for 12, today for 10 hours, everything worked Out perfectly, i fehlt great.
(But, Thats the rule, never feel too confident)
So i wanted to Put the Last Activity in my App, chanhed the XML etc.
At the end i thought i should run it one Last Time before i shutdown my PC.
Well, Error in my XML, tried to fix it for 1 hour (quiet a Long Time for 8 lines of Code), didnt Work.
I pressed Ctrl+z until it reached the Point where it Last Time worked... Still doesnt Work.
So, i am quiet pissed Off, and sleepy.
My Dilemma, eat and sleep? Or try to fix everything...2 -
While I was in my computer science bachelor, I had the VERY best coworkers. I would always make group projects with my friends BUT I decided to open my horizons! So I tried to find other classmates to work with.
ANNNNNND it was terrible...
Here’s a little list of why they couldn’t work during the projects:
_ Dude, I left my charger at home (I had one to share)
_ I’m gonna eat! (He never came back)
_ Sorry the wind is too strong, I can’t even open my door. I won’t come today! (It was just another rainy day in Paris)
_ Crap, I forgot to tell you it’s Chinese New Year today, I’m with my family! (Ok, no problem but he was missing 2 WEEKS! The time of our project)
And maybe my favorite:
“SORRY, I CAN’T JOIN YOU I DIDN’T MANAGE TO OPEN THE DOOR OF THE BUILDING”.
(The building was our school building and it was WIDE open...)
Fact is when you study computer science, it’s easier to work online with your coworkers but these one... They just never came online.
I think, now, no coworker can hurt me x) -
!rant
We got a new Macbook pro, 2017 model, i was all excited for it, my 2 coworkers and the manager not so much. But being that I am the only one that knows how to use it and will be working on new web related tech as well as advising our contractors and helping them with the ios and android part it was decided that I shall use this baby. So fucking excited. I get to use this baby at work as well as the overpowered work station that they already gave me :] dis gon b good manerant gon buy another one eat it fk it i already have one at home aewe yii it came with everything not mine tho love me a macbook didnt pay for it1 -
This is a rundown of my day.
Today I had the immense pleasure to continue implementing an web table with server side paging, filters and sorts, and to persist all those values in the url query strings.
Thank fucking god for vue.
And just before sleep, I inflated like 40 balloons for a bday tomorrow and I didn't have an inflator, so let me say this.
FUCK BALLOONS. The brand of these motherfuckers was horrible.
I hate it that they all come with this fucking dust in the bag.
Bitch, I'm putting this shit in my mouth.
Isn't it curious how bitch is like a very powerful insult in the sense that it's very funny but also very validating.
Like you could say that in the middle of argument against a woman and actually win it.
But sadly women don't have an insult against men of which make use, so it's very unfair in my opinion.
In fact there are so many female targeted insults that you kinda feel untouchable as a guy.
Except if a woman insults the size of your dick. That is a fucking tomahawk missile.
Anyhow, not making any type of gender inequality analysis or whatever, I just thought it was a peculiar observation.
Even bigger anyhow , I'm not good at inflating balloons, I'm a web dev, what did you expect? That I could have basic ordinary skills in life.
Helloooo, I said I am a WEB... DEVELOPER.
It's a fucking miracle I am able to complete basic day to day tasks necessary to live.
All I know doing is adding 5 unaudited packages everyday to my current project.
(Just kidding, i'm relatively ok as a coder, but if you actually thought it was true just because of being a web dev, then go eat a dick, and if you didn't like this dyslexia fueled rant, go eat another dick)1 -
I feel accomplished. After arguing with my family for a month or so, I finally solved the WiFi issues in my room! (We live in a flat. And the thick, concrete walls eat the signal super well)
I used to have 2 MBs downstream at most, with very common disconnects and general connection issues.
Now, just yesterday, I laid about 50 meters of ethernet cable all the way from my room to the other end of our house. Laid the cable along the top of our walls so that mom did not have to constantly whine how bad it looks.
Biggest issues were doors (Parents refuse to drill into the walls here, they tend to crumble a lot), but ended up running it under the door just tightly enough that the doors don't squeeze it in any way.
It works great! The cable is almost invisible, and now, my downstream is 30 MBps!
The only downside is that I used an old wifi router in my room that supports only 802.11b/g/n, not ac.2 -
Am i the only one having a strong tendency for afternoon sleep?
It's 5.12 in the morning now, and i am still awake because of this stupid , holiday routine that unknowingly happens on every damn holiday.
I wake up with a sound 10-12 hours sleep at 12 noon or 1 pm, eat some breakfast (or "brunch" , you say) , turn on some youtube or web series, watch it till 2/3pm, then try to study/ code , and then... Zzzz am asleep..
Usually am on my bed full time: eating there , studying there, watching movies there... so maybe that's the reason, but i sincerely don't understand where this sleep comes from?
And then i wake up at 9 or 10pm, eat some more on the bed, back to binge watch till 12 or 1 in night , then eat some more, then binge watching some more , and then when my mind seems to drift back to sleep, i realize i haven't studied anything and then i start at 4 or 5am..(that is , now)
Every fucking holiday ever. maybe these web series and other diversions that messes my brain, but even if am not watching any web series, i am in front of youtube tutorials , stack overflow, twitter , my IDEs,... for almost an equal time.. and the sulking extra sleep routine still happens.
I am starting to think that its somewhat related to being in front of laptop for full day than what am watching on it. whatever this is , I only want to be able to work on my usual holiday afternoon, like i would do, when am in college or some coaching centre5 -
TLDR: Decision making is hard...
Get up at 7am, weather looks crappy but need go to the Drs today in NYC.
Original plan was to spend the morning in the park catching up on my reading list. Don't really want to goto the park now but lunch is still good? (Appt at 4pm, was only one left)
Walk into train station, pay for ticket. Get email from Drs saying he's sick...
Oh good... Except I already paid for the ticket.
Decide it's not worth it since weather is crap.
Walk out the station and... it's sunny... Fck...
Now what.... I can either go home and code or go shopping locally and eat out.
Currently decisions these and well shopping and eating out are also hard decisions... -
fuck my amount of things I have to write is exponentially increasing as I fail to keep up with all the features i need fucking hell
at least I bought groceries before shops closed today. gotta go through my potatoes and make sure they're not bad and throw out all the bad ones and eat any sus ones first
fuck I haven't even began exploring how to do a TUI. I need a few days to explore it but the things I need yesterday are stressing me out so I don't know how I could calm down enough to have a nice deep dive into it and gain expertise if I'm so distracted all the time but coming up with more fucking things I need, fuck
how do i15 -
Now im eating some cheap food. Holy shit how GOOD it feels to eat food. I cant believe as a software engineer with computer science degree earning $3.75 usd an hour feels so good to eat some cheap food29
-
In my freshman year of college, I ran into a grouping of circular dependencies that were so intertwined it would have warranted a total rewrite. I spent 28 hours fixing it. I took over my dorms common area, had about 5 movies playing on repeat for background noise, and stayed in the same seat for the whole period.
It was rewarding, but also showed me how easily I can get tunnel vision on a task. Now that I've graduated and moved on to a real job, I have certain back ups to make sure I don't forget to eat or take my breaks. I almost got in trouble for not taking them when I first started. -
One of my friends brought vape oil to class and was giving it out. (To eat) He gave it to everyone close to me it. I refused. He told everyone it would give them a high. I had to tell an adult. I feel like I did wrong and I’m scared of my friend find out if they will unfriend me. I’m scared. What should I do?9
-
A long time ago in a decision poorly made:
Past me: hmm we're having trouble getting IT to give us a new build machine with the new compilers.
Past me: I know we'll just use one of the PCs that belongs to a member of the team to tide us over.
[2 months pass]
Present me: that's odd, Jenkins is really slow today.
[Several minutes pass]
Present me: holly shit fuck; it's building the whole weekends worth of builds at 9am on a workday and eating licenses like a cast away that suddenly teleported to an all you can eat buffet.
Present me: [abort, abort, for the love of fuck abort]
Present me: contacts IT, they can't find any problems, wtf happened.
Present me: discovers team member turned off his machine on Friday and builds had been stacking up all weekend.
Lessons learnt: disable power button on team members pc and hire a tazer guy to shoot whenever someone goes near the wall socket.
1 hour lost and no build results for the last 3 days.
It's looking like a bad morning -
is it ok if im the only person who codes an android app and i code it by my own free will and skills?
meaning im not following any design pattern while doing so.
i dont like following design pattern because it narrows down my freedom of writing code the way i want to write it.
its like, imagine, you have a strict schedule or a dad who says at:
5:59am: get up
7:15am: study
9:01am: eat breakfast
11:00am: go to college
3:07pm: eat lunch
5:14pm: come home
8:02pm: eat dinner
9:00pm: brush your teeth
10:58pm: go to bed
11:59pm: you must sleep before midnight
IMAGINE THAT. be honest, could you actually follow this schedule in its exact hour and minute as it was written down for the rest of your life every day, no exceptions?
if you're a sane person, you would answer - no, of fcking course not.
life is much more broader and dynamic than following a static pattern every day forever.
so is not following a static design pattern while coding an app.10 -
Aaaaarggghhh
Having to think about what and when to eat is such a fucking pain in the ass. I don't want to search for recipes. I don't want to think about nutrition. I don't want to count calories. I just want something to tell me exactly what to eat, when I should eat and what to buy. Same goes for workout routines. Just tell me what to do I'll do it. I want an autopilot for that sort of stuff so I don't have to ducking think about it anymore. It's such a giant waste of time to have to manually plan this shit through, I want to use my brain for other things like math or chemistry or Programming. In fact I don't even want to cook because I am alone and cooking for one person is so ducking pointless. I lost over 40kg in the last years. I learned my lesson, most things taste like shit now because I associate food with all the pain and depression that I had to overcome to achieve a normal weight and fit body. Food went from being a joy to being an annoying necessity. I got fit and I want to work out even more but I really don't want to think about this shit. The exercises and pain and hunger are all nothing but planning is my true enemy. It bores me to death, it's more painful than running until I break down I absolutely fucking hate it.
I am really close to start some kind of open source food planner where you can type in your goals ( weight loss, muscle gain etc.) In great detail with all kind of options ( vegetarian, vegan, allergies, budget, country where you live in for local recipes etc.) And it generates a food plan for you with exact details of where exactly to buy the ingredients how to cook them etc. No fancy Ui No bullshit ads for some kind of wonder drug nothing annoying. Something so easy that it can be used as an autopilot for ones fitness and life. Do what it says and you'll look decent, don't think about the rest. Having that would be so great and I could finally think about more important shit than this. Less overhead more time for things that can't be automated.
And Yes I know that this is exactly what a personal trainer would do, but I am not going to spend 600€ a month for someone to tell me exactly what to buy, what to eat and how to work out.23 -
The eggs have to make a symmetrical pattern in the box otherwise something doesn't feel right.
They used to do boxes of 15, which worked perfectly. Now it's either 6 or 12, both of which potentially require you to adjust the number of eggs you eat to get a symmetrical pattern.
It is both necessary and sufficient that the number of holes in the egg box should be an odd number.
Nine and fifteen work really well. All the other odd numbers are either too big, or negative, or prime, which would be impractical.9 -
git rebase is like fish.
Hours after the kill: hmm, tasty.
A day after the kill: not too bad.
A few days: time to toss this in the trash
More than a week: dig a hole and bury this thing before it stinks up the neighborhood.
That being said, I'd rather eat a plate of Hákarl than deal with rebasing a diverance that is over a month old. I simply don't use rebase. It's just too stinky. I just merge very often and keep things in sync.
If you need the effect of a rebase without the crazy hassle:
git checkout master
git checkout -b rebase_branch
git merge --squash dev_branch2 -
Has anyone else found that not all USB C inputs are the same? You can't just buy an cable and expect it to plug into any socket.
1. I replaced the cable for a power pack, but the new one didn't fit my OP6 socket well, no clicking and have to push it in very hard to get it to charge, and still eat to fall out
2. The pixel 2 cable fits it nicely and all cables are ready to plugin and work
3. I tried charging my new Pixel 4a with ur though but very hard to plug in. Had to install the charger and cable that came with.
4. Amazon Fire takes all of them nicely and send all the others can use the cable that came with it too8 -
I'm working with a nice piece of code written 6 years ago by somebody who isn't in the company anymore and only the fact that they live on the other side of the continent prevents me from physically strangling them.
They must have thought that they were very smart trying to use JavaScript as a functional language. A shitload of library-specific decorators that ultimately don't do shit except for raising the cognitive load of anybody who hasn't worked with it before. Why the fuck did you use 'curry' in a function that then is never called in a functional manner? Because fuck me, go check the documentation of ramda because you obviously have too much time at work if you ask questions, just to learn fuck all.
It fascinates me how people take this steaming pile of shit that is JavaScript and then try to work against all its design assumptions to create something that is even more slimy, disgusting and smelly. It shows a radical misunderstanding of what you're even working with.
Take shit, add straw and you might have a docent construction material. Take shit, sprinkle it with chilli and try to eat it and it's just hot shit. But at least you will make everyone else try to find out why the fuck is that chilli in there because why would you expect it there. I'm a coprologist, not a cook.3 -
This job will eat me up.
I did not feel good last week due to my vaccine. I really don't know what happened what even after a week of it, I feel week and dizzy.
I couldn't work at all due to all this, and now the senior from my team is indirectly saying that this project is slow. I know it is slow because I couldn't work without getting 13 hours of sleep.
I am scared. I think I do not the element of good developer. I am trying my best though.
But whenever I get these kind of remarks I fail to do even the easiest thing possible.7 -
It's been for a while that I'm dreaming about food ordering company where I can choose from the different foods in the way of: " I want 100g rice, 150g brokkoli, one baked potato...". Probably the calorie would be automatically added up maybe even the macros. The assembled packages for a week will come every day or single order would be possible as well. It's a so beautiful idea. Here we have some similar companies but they deliver raw stuff so there's still a hustle to cook it... And of course there is the fastfood nightmare... Imagine you could eat stuff you assemble yourself, you know the calories as well and there is no overhead of shopping and cooking. Basically every single all-you-can-eat could implement the idea. I'm really sorry that there's no such service. :( One day if I get really angry I will start it...1
-
anyone else having a few hours of not being able to focus after lunch? Or is that just me?
It doesn't matter what I eat or what I do, after lunch I just can't focus on anything. Until 4-5 pm. then focus comes back again.
The only solution to this that I have is basically don't eat a full meal at lunch, but try to have healthy snacks instead.
I dunno.
Any ideas? it annoys the hell out of me.4 -
deploying the apps in production...
Devs: i'm confident enough that i can do this. Docker? wtf, i know how to do it.
after successfully deploy in production, 30 minutes later...
Devs: Hey, team lead. I can't access the DB, why?
Team Lead: what? why? what did you do?
Devs: I just successfully deploy in production using the tutum interface deploy button.
Team Lead: Did you uncheck to deploy the DB again?
Devs: Thinking.... hmmmmm No?
Team Lead: Opppsss, that's good. We can't eat our lunch until we fix it. We need to deploy the db back-up again.
Devs: Did I delete the db?
Team Lead: No? probably not you? LOL's
Devs: But who?
Team Lead: It's tutum but it's your mistake to unchecked to redeploy the db before you deploy the apps :D
DevOps / Software Engineer => IT -
Colleague at work gets pissed of when I 'tell' them what to do.
Change tack to suggesting things. These suggestions don't get followed and explosions ensue.
Colleague gets pissed off that I did not prevent these explosions. Simultaneously I get criticised for being angry that my suggestions were not followed, when what I'm primarily trying to do is defend myself for being blamed for the explosions in the place.
You can have your cake and eat it too folks!1 -
Oh my... Webkit is trolling me again. How easy was it to style a website in Firefox and then I found out it looks like shit in Chrome. I can't event fix it fuckkkk.
The best part of the story - it's Bootstrap so I would assume it could work the same across the browsers.undefined no way to fix i wont change my whole template webkit rip chrome eat it google fags bootstrap ez firefox2 -
Lately I read post from democracy developer how we are unable to run democracy in direct way. We know something in some fields and are si fucking dumb in others. Sure we could make research, but it takes time which most of us don't have, so we could chose as we feel which could be more less correct, but even doing research could lead as nowhere. But it isnt only fucking democracy, same goes with medication, food, raising children and there goes fucking shopping. We ass people don't like shitty things or more correctly we don't want ti fucking know it and don't want expensive things, middle is the best, but when you could afford best quality it us easy to associate it with price which is so fucking lie. There is this ios and android battle and a lot of others and it is fucking insane. Why? Because everything is advertised as fucki.g awesome, cocksucking shit which could you eat, shit and eat again. It makes you full, well feed and slim, also makes you boobs, penis, ass of whatever bigger than average (always bigger no matter how much average is).
You want to buy coffee? Our brand is fuckj.g best roasted, best seeds from best plantation and costs only 7$ per kg, fuck you because it tatses like shit and makes me vomit. sure obvious scam, but what with 20-30$ coffee? It is well roasted, freshly roasted and do they fucking know how to do that?
Fuck coffee, go to buy t-shit which one isnt fucking cut off efficiency which also make t-shit stretched as ass after naked night in prison?
Laptop? Fuck you each one is fucking best for everhtbing, 4GB of RAM, slow HDD, shitty CPU and windows 10 onboard? Beast of performance and also mobile, the best laptop ever. Obvious scam, sure, but 1000$ laptop? could be decent? Fuck you, shitty hinge and case so it is like fuckenstein monster.
Why couldn't we have honest advertising? because noone will buy it, shitty shit. Even fucking numbers don't always tell you which is better... fucking shit.
Have a nice day ;)4 -
Currently trying to make newer C++11 code run on a gcc 4.8 compiler. Also making Qt 5 code run on Qt 4.8. Enabling experimental flags on gcc like std=c++1y and turning on flags to turn off complaints about pre c++11 code. Have my cake and eat it too. My favorite so far it to create a proxy object so I can connect lambdas to Qt signals. This is supported in Qt 5, but not Qt 4. I feel like I am traveling back in time to when stuff was shittier standards wise.5
-
This muesli tastes of fish.
Fucking fish.
I'm going to eat it anyway, because I'm old and tired, and I like fish.8 -
Do reports actually make people dumber?
I write a lot of reports that output for our customers into excel. I'm starting to suspect that for many customers it doesn't actually help them, rather it might actually hurt them (also eat all my time).
If a user generates their own report via search options or etc to pull out some data, they usually SEEM to have put some thought into the actions required to find the data they want.
Accordingly:
1. They immediately know what information is there, and why some information might be excluded.
2. They can do a little trial and error to solve their own problems / better understand what is going on.
3. They're a hell of a lot less likely to insist that something is "MISSING!!!" without seeming to actually know what the thing(s) are that are missing.
With auto generated spreadsheet that shows up in the email there's just little no critical thinking outside of some stray thoughts in their head when the spreadsheet showed up ...2 -
The History of The Scriping Lanuages (JavaScript, Python, and especially PHP):
Once upon a time someone found themselves stranded in the middle of the wilderness without nothing to eat or drink. Having watched Bear Grills as a kid, they grabbed a chunk of elephant excrement and started drinking from it, and the poop saved their life. In that moment, under those very specific and dire circumstances, in that very small scale, excrement was an appropriate solution; but that person did not ever drink from poop again.
Alas, upon hearing this tale, people from around the continent got fascinated with this new extraordinary recipe that had the capacity of saving lives! This new treat became viral. Shit juice, shit pie, and even a shitmulated Microsoft 98! Businesses built their foundations with shit, shit factories, individual shit brokers and recruiters! Everyone wanted a piece of this convenient and disruptive delicacy!
But, alas! as that first person knew, these implementations were not much more than mere shit1 -
I just completed this heartfelt and sincere little cry for help on another ste but it wasn't verified because I'm not special enough to format it like a PAD, whatever that means. I cannot seem to simply burn music files anymore. I'm using a Samsung laptop Device name DESKTOP-AII2T2S
Processor Intel(R) Core(TM) i7-2675QM CPU @ 2.20GHz 2.20 GHz
Installed RAM 8.00 GB
Device ID D766A89B-5671-4D9F-B6F9-2D884E9EA309
Product ID 00326-10000-00000-AA880
System type 64-bit operating system, x64-based processor
Pen and touch No pen or touch input is available for this display
Edition Windows 10 Home
Version 20H2
Installed on 09/08/2020
OS build 19042.928
Experience Windows Feature Experience Pack 120.2212.551.0
The music is a combination of commercially relased material as well as bootleg recorded material.
I am not looking for a "This is Why We Can No Longer Burn Our Music Files" Intro. All you need to tell me is the corporations that eat the world are protecting their copywrighted music and I must be up earlier and eat bettter breakkie than those individuals. That I can handle. Although I'm not a dev, I'm sure you can understand the feelling after you have worked for hours on attempting something, only to discover your effort has been in vain (much like my former relationships). Again, if you can give me any direction aside from hanging it up and attempting to find happeniness elsewhere, sock it to me. I deserve it. Thanks.
11 years ago when I used a Macbook putting together a playlist, inserting a blank CDR, and burning the file onto the CDR was very easy. I\'m am now faced with hurdles I sometimes scale, only to fall on my face.
I\'m not stupid, or uneducatated about flac, blah blah. I learnt it all myself. I\'m now using a windows operating system. Afew weeks ago I was able to burn what ever I pleased and it was OK.
Then one day, it just wouldn\'t do it. I was following no altered procedures. Since then it\'s been misery. I remember that ocenaudio once burned music files for me.
I don\'t know how to go about retrieving an instruction manual that will take me step by step as to how to do this.
You help would be appreciated.
Cheers,
Jonno
I've been lurking here since 2017 when my Macbook died. I've always enjoy the level of sanity and have attempted to add my jaded, distant and nihilistic spin on a few threads. It won't destroy me if I can't burn files anymore, I'll just go back on heavy tranques and change my name to Ben Zo. Dia Za P.een3 -
Those times when something just won't work and you have no idea why, and how to fix it and hours or even days passed without any progress and you wonder if you even deserve to eat dinner...
-
My stomach is fucking me up every time i come to office to work. It is growling & growling & growling & growling & on & on on non FUCKING stop. FUCKING, STOP!!!! YOU PIECE OF FUCKING DHIT STOMACH. I CAN'T FOCUS ON WORKING. GET SO EMBARRASSED AMONG THESE 2 GIRLS IN MY OFFICE WITJ MY DIPSHIT STOMACH GROWWWLIINGGG. THEY MUST THINK IM SO POOR AS FUCK THAT I CANT AFFORD FOOD. AND WORST THING IS -- IM NOT EVEN HUNGRY!!!!! ITS GROWLING OUT OF BOREDOM AND I CAN'T CONTROL IT. I DONT WANT TO EAT, I HAVE TO WSTCH MY DIET AND NOT BE FAT ASSS GOOFBALL. HOW DO I STOP THIS PIECE OF FUCK TO STOP. FUCKING. GROWWLINGGG3
-
Why is it that I eat 60% of my daily food intake past midnight while I'm coding, anyway? I could sit down for a real meal but nooooo, let's have a leftover sandwich at 1:30am, desperately praying I don't wake anyone else up to see my shame. These projects have thrown off my entire living schedule.1
-
Hi all. I'm now connected to wifi of another restaurant ordering expensive food and cheap lemonade. Next (hehe nextjs) to this restaurant isa cinema and Barbie movie is being emitted in Extreme IMAX 2D should i go and watch it with my blonde gf after we eat (expensive) food? (last night and this morning i got lots of sexes from her so im pretty low on bullshit today and dont care about wave 2 shitstorm from last night)16
-
If you want to be strictly vegetarian, e.g. only eating plant-based food, and you have a nervous system (e.g. you're not a vegetable), then that's not possible. You need B12.
B12 is complex, and it can't be found in plants — lifeforms that obey laws of evolution don't just spend energy to create a complex substance they don't need. Plants don't have a nervous system, hence no need for B12.
In animal kingdom, there are no animals that are only eating plants. Not a single one of them. Herbivores eat their feces regularly, as B12 is there, but it's synthesized in our bodies at the point when there is no chance that it can be consumed.
Deer eat lemmings on a regular basis. Among herbivores, this is not uncommon.
If you want to be strictly vegetarian, and you don't want to eat B12 from supplements (because it's derived not from plants as you probably guessed), you can make it happen with certain kinds of fermented food, where B12 is synthesized by specific bacteria.23 -
Wah wah wah, my teacher is yelling at me because I wasn't allowed to use my fancy Pant tech instead of what was required because I think it's shit but never bothered to ask for permission beforehand and now I'm bitching about it on here.
Man, eat a bag of dicks. You didn't do what was required, without coordinating with your teacher.
And you think their way of doing shit is retarded? That's essentially every other customer you'll ever have. Grow the fuck up.1 -
Day 8 of devWholesome...
GUYS IM FINALLY BACK! I am so sorry for the stop in posts, however I would like to make it known that I am still a student and still need to pass school. devRant was just not my priority at the time, but with the break coming up and weight off my shoulders I can continue doing these posts. In proper fashion, I want you to tell someone you love, "I love you." or "I appreciate you" today. You never really know when that might get taken away and I don't want you to miss the chance to do that. Make sure you eat all your meals, drink your water, and as always, make the most out of your day!
P.S.
I missed doing this so much, I am glad to be back at it!2 -
Facebook should switch to NodeJS, seriously.
They eat the memory of my devices, that's weird it's only Messenger and Facebook who do this..Don't use Ajax when you don't know how to profit from it without affecting the user experience.13 -
So... I went to bed Thursday with a mild headache, which turned into a full migraine during the night.
Friday morning I couldn't even open my eyes. Had to stay in bed, sleeping through almost the entire day.
Saturday was slightly better, head still hurted enough to keep my bedridden.
Sunday I managed to leave the bed, eat something and wander around the house a bit. My wife and kids seemed a bit quiet and subdued but I was still to groggy to think anything of it.
This morning I wake up, feeling good enough to check the news and the work chat.
😱 WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!?
I'm out of it for a day or two and the entire country has gone into #coronavirus lockdown!1 -
python's threading is like cake. you eat one piece, then it eats the rest, and if you want the rest, you gotta convince it to vomit it out by doing absurd code. Then once it vomits it out, its still bad. So in the end, you can never win :p4
-
"we don't care about the statement of work or that you've fulfilled it. We want <insert massive list if unrelated and unrealistic requirements here>."
Yeah, we'll eat a bullet you ham-fisted, knob gobbling buffons. -
there will be war they said
kind of playing with legacy code,
they didn't say
importing css from scss file. yep react is cool but this freakin import css from scss is kind of bloody weird for me. k let's just keep it small, can you just reply in 3 words e.g. use freaking vim or go eat bacon as an advice ty?!4 -
I hate when I buy a new mouse / keaboard and after short period of time it looks like I would eat a meal with it... I think that for my new mouse I will buy a robot arm to use it 🤣
-
I am very obsessed when it comes to things I'm developing or making. I can't work on that project or even take a look at it if I have some other things I need to do that day because I know I'm not going to be able to concentrate on anything else if there is something that needs to be added or fixed until I successfully finish it. And I will be very grumpy and aggressive to other people that interrupts my thought train. I understand taking breaks and talking to your coding buddy is a must. But I go absolutely obsessed if I can't figure something out. Which I won't eat nor converse. I will most likely get over this problem of mine eventually but for now devrant is the ideal place for me to relax and get my thoughts together which I am very grateful about ! Keep being awesome.
-
The stress that hit me unprepared on june 9th was of such large magnitude that i just realized i havent eaten anything yesterday for the whole day. I also can't eat anything today. And most likely i wont be able to eat anything for the next several days. I tried eating by force but then i have a compulsion of puking, so i can't eat even forcefully. Just woke up with nightmares dreaming the stress that just happened to me on 9th june. And as soon as i woke up my head is decomposing of pain. Very large headache of exhaustion and stress. Can't even fucking have peace in the fucking dreams while sleeping. It's day 2 and I dont even feel like im hungry. it feels like this latest stress has deformed something in my organism either physically or mentally. What would happen if i dont eat for the next 5-7 days, can i survive? I feel no hunger at all so i can't tell if i should eat or not. I can only drink water as a replacement of eating food2
-
I hate heavy-duty frameworks. I'm currently working with both ABP and Angular and they're both just godawful. They're inelegant solutions that just fucking eat through my computer's RAM. It's just slow, generates code that my IDE analyses and finds problems with. And the application runs so. fucking. slowly. I like how it enforces a separation of concerns, but that's about it. Oh and in the name of God, why would anyone do anything with angular now that we have Vue? Why? I can't...2
-
Be me.
Writing a java class for uni work, that'll eventually run on android.
I get kicks from making functions work using as few steps as possible, using minimal code.
Explain to someone how I'm doing it.
I learn that loops and the rest of it generate more code and take longer than unwrapping the loop and writing every case manually.
Shit ffs I spend hours making my code more concise :(
Then, I'm told the recursive method I'm using for checking for a win is too complicated, that I shouldn't start looking for a win from the last counter I placed, but should scan the WHOLE board for a win in every angle.
Eat my food, open my beer, pet my dog, trundle off back to work. -
I simply don't understand anyone who uses Adblock.
I have had a single virus in my entire computer life, and it was from a dodgy .exe on someone's flash drive, so I don't need it for that.
If a site is too ugly with ads, I leave. Otherwise, I deal with it because people need to eat.
If you use it most places, you are cancer to the web.
If you live, like I did for 18 years, with the <200kbs peaks or less, maybe I could understand, but for the rest of you, I have no respect.7 -
broken down. shattered into pieces. i lost weight. couldnt eat for days and now im eating very barely. started gym aggressively. every single day. changed my diet, eating and drinking only healthy. bought whey protein, consuming it. no idea where life is taking me anymore. no idea what new future this will create. but if im doing everything right then its impossible to create the wrong future i would assume. God help me4
-
If i shit too much then that should mean i eat too much, but how come im not fat then? 🤔 Im normally looking. Normal weight for my height and age. Unless my body shits so much that it auto balances my weight. Holy shit. My body is a Load Balancer! And my asshole is a java garbage collector! It all makes sense now2
-
When I was started my journey in coding, what ever I do, I think about coding. Sleep code, eat code, dream code, dating code. Its become my usually nightmares.
Its become worst when I got stucked in coding. Ppl see me like a geek zombie.
Coding used to ruin my life.
But when my code working like charm, feel like god. I can do anything. 😂😂😂
Sometime l just love it, but most of the time I fucking hate it. -
People all over the world own dogs as pets. In some places in the world people eat dogs.
Is it okay to feed your pet dog the scraps left over from eating dog?
I also pointed out to a coworker that New York has huge rats. I then said: "street steak".
The response was: "Why?!"2 -
Been developing a website for a few months for a group of people who started a company in their spare time. Basically, everyone puts in about 5 hours a week. The two founders spent a year planning the site, creating mockups and collecting data. Site has user login, 5 main sections that all require custom programming to do what they need it to do.
After a month, the one dude is getting pissy with me because I can't get their site up any faster. I agreed to 5 hours a week, in my spare time for equity to a project that has no clear monetization plan. Sometimes my main job and paying clients eat even that time up.
To date, I've only got about 30 hours of actual dev time, and 15 hours of meetings. The first launch is in sight, but the site is a monster and has more phases to come.1 -
I am so hungry asf but i cant eat cz i have to take my blood out tomorrow morning. I hate going to bed hungry. I cant focus on coding or doing anything else. My mind is focused only on food
I realized food and money is like oxygen: try not breathing for a while and see how bad you need it3 -
Honestly tired of those "let's put a bit of random AI here" talks. All it does is eat money for pointless features, and with the average trend duration in 2k23 it will not even have the slightest impact.3
-
A small instant cocoa package. Pink and blue. It said “Mine. Autonomous. Immaculate.” My sister gave it to me. It was made from human female skeletons, because you can't make them from male ones. Eat it as-is, or dissolve it in milk. It tastes like ketone bodies.5
-
Hello to everybody. I used to be on this site like every day. I rejoined data lounge after accepting that everybody there gets their arses flamed and it's like initiation. But they're still mean.
I hope we are collectively not losing our fucking minds with this shite virus. I am uneasy. Something's not adding up.
I haven't felt this way for over 50 years, and that was during America's pig headed remaining in Vietnam rather than pulling out and letting Red China just fucking eat North Vietnam as a snack.
I've never had a sense that I don't know where things are going. And that those who should be able to tell us something are fucked up firecrackers with wet diapers.
Whilst I've never been overly fond of humans to begin with, I can only wait and see how long it takes for reason to prevail.
Peace out.
Jonno -
i have to say this. its very important and mind blowing even to a shitbeast like me. a few days ago i shitted such a massive turd that it got stuck in the toilet. the shit was THAT big. BIG SHIT 💩.i flushed. nothing. flushed 3 more times. nothing. i gave up and went to work. i completely forgot to flush it again. came back to shit again now and the toilet STANK LIKE A MF. worse than a sewer. i could see my HUGE TURD floating in pieces in the toilet, while the other BIG turd is still stuck in the fucking toilet. i flushed aggressively again. the fucking turd is still stuck and wont get the fuck out. now i have a toilet with shit in it and it stinks like sewer cause the turd was there for several days or so. i have to get a plunger 🪠 AGAIN to get this shit out of my fking toilet! 🚽 Right now, i have to go to my 2 of 3 toilets to take a new shit, and i hope it doesnt get clogged again! as i am shitting while writing this, i can already see how HUGE the new turd is! this is incredible. what the fuck am i shitting?! did i eat a fucking elephant or sum?8
-
God damn sourcetree.
You already annoy to use, now i have to deal with this stupid thing eat up my work
All my local commit in last 10 days, gone. because I just change from HEAD branch to master branch. WHY THE FCK YOU REMOVE IT.
GIVE ME BACK MY WORK!!!2 -
For the final week of a group project at university, the project members and I ended up staying in the computer labs pretty much for 5 days. Another project group did the same (to this day we're still good friends). Everyone brought in their PCs from home and we ended up sleeping in the labs overnight. None of us went to classes as it was pretty full on crunch time to get the project done.
When it was time to eat, we each took turns to go on a food run for everyone, like getting McDonalds, or getting everyone coffee or energy drinks. Of course it wasn't all just work. At the time Quake 4 was just released and we had some pretty epic matches at 3am. -
// Religion
"This life is intelligently designed"
Lemme critically analyze and explain why this life is fucking dumb as shit, whether it was designed by an intelligent Celestial Being (God) or not, the design is fucking STUPID
⚠️ 1. SLEEPING
Why do we have to waste 1/3 of our already very short lives on sleeping? That doesnt make any fucking sense. Sleeping is a waste of time. So many things could have been done if sleeping didnt exist.
✅ How i would solve this problem:
- not require any fucking sleep and still able to function perfectly fine.
⚠️ 2. EATING
Why? Who gives a shit? Why do i have to eat to live? How about not waste time on that shit and just live anyways?
✅ How i would solve this problem:
- not require to fucking eat and still function perfectly fine.
⚠️ 3. DRINKING
No one gives a shit. Why do i have to drink to live. What if i cant find water to drink. Its stupid
✅ How i would solve this problem:
- not having to be forced to drink water and still able to live fine.
⚠️ 4. SHITTING
Its fucking stupid and disgusting. Why do i have to shit through my asshole after eating? I just shit out everything i fought for to eat! Thats ridiculous and STUPID DESIGN.
✅ How i would solve this problem:
- embed toxic chemicals within the organism so the food that was eaten gets dissolved by ACID ☣️ within stomach. Same way how snakes have acid, they never shit, snakes just swallow and acid eats up whatever they ate. This same bullshit can be applied for pissing so I'll skip stupid design issue #5.16 -
So hey
Cultists
Does a little of your souls die everytime this happens or is it just me ?
Do you have souls ?
On another note does it surprise anyone else how little human beings actually need to eat to meet their daily nutrition requirements and then some ?11 -
Like all good games, OBED has absorbed all the best that was created in this area before its appearance. Let's figure it out in order.
The idea of the game is quite simple - put Ivan in a chair with the ability to toss and turn. Give it Marya so that it becomes a round dance in your mind. Strengthen this round dance with another Marya, sometimes with a burnt mustache, sometimes in some other way. Give the opportunity to speak monologues and eat from time to time. And set a goal: to eat everything that is in the square marked on the table. -
So... The system encountered some error and couldn't wake from sleep when I was gone to eat...
And the code which was already running since days needs to be re ran
I hate it