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One of the project manager came to one of our senior pro developer to say something. Before he even said anything the senior dev said:
Oh Fuck, not you again!
The pm politely left the area5 -
Googles best javascript framework.
1st link: react is the best one.
Me: Ignore
2nd link: Angular is the best one.
Me: ignore.
.
.
.
8th link: Vue is the best one.
Me: I knew it.18 -
have
have you
have you heard
have you heard the
have you heard the one
have you heard the one about
have you heard the one about traceroute7 -
Who Is Who
➡ A Project Manager is the one who thinks 9 women🙍 can deliver a baby in 1 month.👶
➡ An Onsite Coordinator is the one who thinks 1 woman can deliver 9 babies in 1 month.👶
➡ A Developer is the one who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver 1 baby.🙇
➡ A Marketing Manager is the one who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and women are available.👷
➡ A Client is the one who doesn’t know why he wants a baby.👶
➡ A Tester is the one who always tells his wife that this is not the right baby. 🚶
Don't be shy.. Comment which 'who' are you..😂17 -
Q: As a programmer in devRant, which one do you choose? The small one, the middle one or the largest?
A: Fine, I choose the white one...
20 -
Ahhhhhhhhhhh I live for that moment when after debugging, you can finally close all those tabs one by one until the only one left is devrant.io 😎
11 -
I might have posted this before. But I am going to post it again. Because emojis.
Me: 😁 Software lead I have finished coding the thing.
SL: 😀 Cool, good job. That is going to really help out the analysts.
Software Manager: 😐 hey I noticed you have coded a new thing and pushed it to integration.
Me: 😁 Yes.
SM: 😐 Well how do you know when it's done?
Me: 😑 . . . When you run it and it does the thing?
SM: 😐 Did you write test steps?
Me: 😕 Yeah . . . they're in the issue ticket.
SM: 😐 Yeah but how do you know those are right?
Me: 😕 Because I wrote the thing and the test steps?
SM: 😐 did you put any steps in our acceptance test procedure?
Me: 😕 No.
SM: 😐 why not?
Me: 😧 Because the acceptance test procedure tests requirements. There is no requirement for this functionality.
SM: 😑 Then why did you do it?
Me: 🤔 Because it was an internal request from the analysis team. There is no customer impact here.
SM: 😑 I really think we should write a requirement.
SL: 🤔 But what requirement is he going to attach this to?
SM: 😑 We don't have to attach it to a requirement. We can just test it once and remove it.
Me: 😒 SM, you know we never remove anything from the acceptance test procedure.
SM: 🙂 We do sometimes.
SL: 🤔 When was that I have worked here for twenty years and we have never removed a test from that document.
SM: 😑
SL: 😒
SM: 😑
SL: 😒
Me: 🤐
SM: 😧 I really think there should be an acceptance test written.
SL: 😧 Looks like you're writing an acceptance test.
Me: 😒 Alright as long as y'all're payin'. Shit I was just tryin' to save y'all money.
*acceptance test written and sent to peer review*
Peer: 😐 The requirement tested section doesn't have any requirements spelled out.
Me: 😅 No.
Peer: 🤔 Why?
Me: 😓 Because there is no requirement associated with this test.
Peer: 🤔 Then why are we adding an acceptance test?
Me: 😡 WELL AIN'T THAT A GOOD GOD DAMN QUESTION!?6 -
Mastering git has become the best thing ever. I feel like a real code monkey. Swinging from branch to branch. Eating all the bug-eeee eeee ahhhhh oooh aaaaaaAAHHHHHH!2
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On the train's public WiFi while traveling and want to use a VPN connection to one of my own VPN servers.
I'm now just realizing that the openvpn port is probably not an allowed one on this network and I set the port to the default openvpn one 😥
Fuck me sideways right now.7 -
Why am I able to write a quick search algorithm in JavaScript but am not able to talk to girls?
Shouldn't the second one be easier than the first one?
Shouldn't every human being be able to do the first one?298 -
How many devs you need for changing a lightbulb?
10. One for holding the ladder, one for changing the bulb.4 -
!=Rant
Does any one else presses cmd+c / ctr+c multiple times just in case the first one did not work?!?12 -
Oooh, got one. Not a question, but a mind-blowing moment:
For some reason, my parents put my email address on one of their accounts, and it was an old one that I had stopped using years ago. Then, this conversation with my parents happens, at their home with the laptop I gave them sitting open on the table:
me: "you guys should probably give them your email address."
mom: "we don't have one."
me: "what about dad's?"
dad: "no, I don't have an email address."
me: "you used to have one. what happened to it?"
dad: "that one was at the library. I don't have one here."
me: 😑
My father apparently doesn't know the basic concept of the internet and its global nature.2 -
I code, watch Big Bang Theory, sip coffee, and code again. I never leave the doorsteps except for my classes. Some say my life is sad.
Is it? Anyone out there like this?18 -
Sometimes.....
When I want to escape how dull/repetitive/boring the world of web development is. I crack open a nice lil terminal, dust off my gcc/g++ compilers and fuck around in C or C++ till my eyes start to bleed.
I have been fucking around with systems development. Mainly with Linux programming. I have also started to get deeper on game engine design and compiler design....because low level development is where its at.
A man can only fuck around rest apis, css and html and the endless sea of Javascript and other dynamic languages for so long before going crazy.
Eventually.....I would want to code something impressive enough to give me a spot somewhere as a C or C++ developer. I just can't work with web development any longer man. It really is not what I want to do, the fact that I do it(and that I am good at it) is circumstantial more than because I really enjoy it. I really don't12 -
After doing an exam with dubious answers, the teacher gave us the answers with our exams scores.
One question could have two answers and mine was one of them and was "wrong" so I asked the teacher:
Me: hey, this one is right too isn't it?
He: yeah, but the right answer is the other one.
Me: OK... So shouldn't it be reviewed, nulled or given points to both?
He: no, because the answer is this one.
Me: care to explain how you have two right answers but this one is the "right" one?
He: yes, because its "righter".
Me inside: FUCK OFF AND DIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT!!!!
Me: you got to be kidding right?
He: no. Its this one.
So I changed course and never had to deal with that piece of shit again.5 -
a U.S. company that places an order for 100,000 integrated circuits with a Japanese manufacturer. Part of the specification was the defect rate: one chip in 10,000. A few weeks later the order arrived: one large box containing thousands of ICs, and a small one containing just ten. Attached to the small box was a label that read: "These are the faulty ones."3
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I hope computing heavens have:
-One brand of hardware
-One OS
-One browser
-No closed source software
-No ads
-One monitor aspect ratio
-One fucking programming language with a fucking big standard library.
-Phones are just the same exactly the same OS as in computer, not stupid adaptations.
-All pages are only HTML/CSS, without JS.
-Due there is one browser and one OS, when you need a dynamic page, you can display a desktop app in the browser downloading its binary.
-There are one fucking brand on printer with standard drivers which are included in the OS.
We are so far from heaven15 -
Searching for new jobs when i find this:
Backend Developer
Education:
Computer Science (Bachelor's degree)
Languages:
English (spoken proficiency: Conversational/Business written proficiency: Conversational/Business)
Skills:
Ruby on Rails (+5 years of experience)
HTML (+5 years of experience)
CSS (+5 years of experience)
.NET (+5 years of experience)
HapiJS (+5 years of experience)
ExpressJS (+5 years of experience)
Django (+5 years of experience)
Elixir (+5 years of experience)
Ruby (+5 years of experience)
Python (+5 years of experience)
Java (+5 years of experience)
Javascript (+5 years of experience)11 -
Everyone has those ideas they thought of and were like, 'that would be rad!' but couldn't execute because of an array of reasons.
Well, two weeks ago I got approached by some people who had *thatmyidea* and were willing to pay me and any devs of my choice, to build it.
We've finished getting requirements and now I'm getting paid to work with devs I love, on a project I love!2 -
I think we were one of the tens of companies to actually pay for one of Apple's most obscure products.
8 -
"Make us a one-page website for our new company!"
I build the site, to their exact specifications and show it to them
"There's only one page"
"You only asked for one page."
"No, we didn't"
I show them the email they sent me, asking for a one-page site
"Wow, you suck, we are finding another developer!"5 -
It's all about the little things. Like getting my first cup of coffee of the day while watching all the AWS alarms trigger one by one.
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Saw a silent mouse. No clicking noise.
Ohhh thats pretty cool I guess.
Tested the silent one and normal one.
Liked the normal one because it has clicking noises.2 -
I wonder if I'm getting tired of making websites for people. I just "fired" two longtime clients today without really caring all that much. Not for no reason. They just were asking too much for too little. And I was getting bored of them. When I think about what I want to do in my spare time, the first thing I think about is creative writing. The last thing I think about is code and website design. It didn't used to be this way.3
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No a rant : today one of the top senior told me he liked one of my functions. Thank you so much sensei!1
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if(stickersReceived()) {
coding.pause();
print("Finally! The Stickers are Here!! Thank You DevRant.")
setMood(Good);
coding.resume();
}
11 -
I feel strange, because I don't have nothing to rant about... I work with awesome people, and my life is not so terrible... What the fuck I'm doing on devRant?
Uhm... maybe I'm the boss who everyone is ranting about...7 -
Someone really needs to change the look of 'I' and 'l'
Guess what the first one is a capital i and the second one is a lower case L
This gets really confusing!6 -
What’s the difference between USB and USA?
The first one is used to transfer files from one device to another, while the other is used to transfer all your device’s data2 -
Was looking through the most used passwords list (the one that had 'removed my password from lists...'). 'password' is like one of the top one, and then 'PASSWORD' is 810th !?!?!?! At least it's before hentai...
8 -
I've always had a fetish for progress bars.
My favourite one? The green glowing one from Windows Vista.17 -
Today I finally had to write a function for which the most descriptive name is objectively kill_all_children4
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"People are very attached to the idea that there’s one right way, one right tool, or one right framework. If only."
-- John Arundel3 -
!rant
I finally did it. Finally had the energy to do... One axis for my CNC lol.
It works perfectly.
But the 28BYJ-48 are so slowwww.
- One Arduino Uno
- Two 28BYJ-48 with Uln2003A controllers (Y is already programmed)
- One joystick.
It's aliveeeee!
16 -
Am I the only one who finds the only one who finds this hypnotizing and amazing? It's like looking within a city and your code manipulates all the pathways. #IoT
4 -
Am I the only one happy that no-one can post images anymore? Kinda refreshing that all the crappy memes are gone 😂6
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Not mine, saw this one somewhere on the internets [prolly in one of commitstrip's comments]
- make an initial estimate [4 hours]
- double the number [8 hours]
- incr units [8 days]2 -
!rant Security training at work comes in the form of a serialized TV show where each episode concerns some security topic kind of tangentially and ends with a “REMEMBER… “ followed by the lesson you were supposed to get from the episode.
I kind of love it. A lot. I actually look forward to security training, and I’m not the only one. They stagger the release so you can’t binge watch all the seasons at once and you get three episodes at a time. 😂1 -
When your internal timezone automatically changes over the weekend and you have to get it back to "normal" but then somehow end up not sleeping at all 😅😐😑😪2
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Left one company on Friday, starting a new one Monday. This means the only programming I'm doing this weekend are the fun personal ones!
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In Russian we have two different word for “why”: the one asks for a purpose, the other one asks for a reason.
So you can not only distinguish between a purpose and a reason, but ask for either with just one word. Pretty efficient!7 -
In the course of our development, one day we switched to a different, more elegant bootstrap theme. One of our users called me to appreciate the improvement. He said, the new firmware on the system looks great.
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They give you 2 containers, one with one amibea the second with 2 amibeas.
Amibeas divide themselves into 2 identical amibeas after 3 minutes.
The container with 2 amibeas get filled up after 3 hours.
How long does it take the one with one amibea to get filled up.
The test was named:"Javascript Test"....
I first thought, should I write this in JS?
Spoiler: the answer is 3h and 3 minutes.
But why? What's the link with JS?3 -
When I see a space after opening bracket but none prior to the closing one... *fugly*
void func( int x);
/me hates! Do it one way or the other pleez!1 -
In school, for the last project of the year
Had to show it to the teachers in charge
When I entered in the room they said my name and looked at me with a big smile
The usually took 15min per project, but they looked at mine for ~35min
One teacher was testing and the other one was writing
Everytime the second one was asking about a feature the other one said "perfect"
I was so proud of me 😁1 -
New year is the only +1 I do not give a fuck about. All it means is I am one year closer to death, so I will smoke one more cigarette after the last, one more cup of coffee with far too much sugar, and I will keep coding one more line after the other, and frankly it is just to distract me from the fact that there is always another +1, one more person to hate, one more word spoken, all so I can get to through one more year. So fuck the new year because there will always be another. But I won't always get a +1 on a rant.5
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Choose yourself:
The one who is too lazy too stand up, the one reinstalled his PC literally every week, or the toxic guy that nobody wants too work with.2 -
I was one of the 'popular' guys in school you know the cool ones and dumb as fuck. Now I am the nerd one lol. Seems like I found a passion.4
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I just found out google web dev tools let you copy a request as curl command!
Time to scrape some websites baby!8 -
I told my boss the project would take one month, he went to tell the stakeholders it would take one week and I didn't know. Three days to the end of the one week, I meet one stakeholder and he asks, have you started testing? 😭😭 #wk1
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My current one.
Though it's the best one I've ever experienced too.
It's just that I never worked anywhere else.2 -
Well, not necessary my favourite but the first one I learned.
I think the weird syntax and semantics combined with the ridiculous average length of variable names is a major flaw in this one.4 -
Thank you devrant for the awesome stickers i put one on my laptop and one on my on my desktop the last one i may put on my car.
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Code is sat in UAT for a month and no one looks at it. Two days before the (completely arbitrary) go live date and testing commences, finding one bug which is immediately fixed. And now I'm the one allegedly delaying roll-out. Err OK...1
-
I made a typo searching for Firefox in Win 11 start menu
"firefi" > understood. Firefox first result
"firefix" > idk, want me to fuckin search Bing? Shit.
????????7 -
I was hating on Postman for 10 minutes straight...
and then I found out it was me all along.
Turns out, it's an advantage if you actually select the proper environment before sending a request.
fuck me... coffee! ☕3 -
Am I the only one, who craves for a little praise? Just one little "good job" now and then would make wonders.5
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Hello there,
I am new here and I have Quick Question for u guys,
Q: how can one become the best programmer in the world ?
Comment in one word.72 -
One of my old company's customer seriously asked the support what's the difference between ">=" and "="...
Support should have answered that one is faster than the other :D
But life must be hard enough anyway...1 -
The one thing more annoying than my girlfriend is the chain of mail I get from Github saying,
"One of your dependencies has a security vulnerability."5 -
Got these Thinkpads 2 days ago, Im already hooked, they are both model T430, the only difference is that one has 8gb ram, while the other one has 6g
6 -
I fucking hate design agencies and everything related to fucking design!
Today we received an email from design agency asking us to put two images next to each other so that they can compare and see which one fucking fit better!
What is the difference between these two images:
first one has 28points of text size while the other one has 26 points ...
one more reason to hate this fucked up world!4 -
I'm surprised that nearly no one here in the company listens to music while working. Am I the only one who does this!?!4
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I'm looking at old code that I wrote around half a year ago, and noticed that my coding style changed over time (relying more on arguments to pass messages between commands and functions, rather than sourcing the result of a command). I feel like this old code isn't truly mine anymore. It's thousands upon thousands of lines of code though... Given that, would you rewrite it or just move along with the existing design? I mean in my opinion the current code really sucks.4
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A column of some Soviet newspaper. Top to bottom:
The Atheist’s Page
“The oldest profession”
(Ukrainian tale)
Three people argued over whose profession was the oldest. One of them said:
— Surgeons: without them, god wouldn’t have pulled Adam’s rib out to make Eve.
— Engineers, — the other one interrupted him. — Without them, god wouldn’t have made light.
The third one thought for a while and said:
— No, mine’s older: in the beginning there was darkness, and who spreads darkness? I do!
The third one was a priest.
1 -
I don't really have one favorite programmer, there are many. I'll just add one to the list:
John Carmack -
• I listen to music
• I eat/drink something
• I go to the toilet and think about unrelated stuff (which might actually provide a solution)
• I go to sleep
I try the top one first, and if it doesn't work, the next one, and so on, until I am done with the last one. -
This is a classic example of "We need to justify our Dev's salaries so we made a bunch of changes in the name of innovation."
Why did they have to do this? I miss the old design where one swipe from the top had 5 icons, one for wifi, one for mobile data, one for Bluetooth, one for battery saver and one for flashlight. If you wanted to access something extra, one more pull and you'd get all of the notification tray options.
Now these fucking things take up half of the screen. Absolutely worthless design.
6 -
Legit Apple Interview
There are three boxes, one contains only apples, one contains only oranges, and one contains both apples and oranges. The boxes have been incorrectly labeled such that no label identifies the actual contents of the box it labels. Opening just one box, and without looking in the box, you take out one piece of fruit. By looking at the fruit, how can you immediately label all of the boxes correctly?
Those who got it answer it directly on Saturday/Sunday until then good luck10 -
(Internal IT communication)
- Which one is the right email account for xxxx ? aaaa@ourcompany.com or bbbb@ourcompany.com?
- Yes, that's the correct one.5 -
Why is the most useful Explorer shortcut (rename element, F2) besides the least useful one (Help, F1)??
And why does Help open in the browser? Not the default one, but EDGE.
Fuck them. I'll find a way of disabling F1 one day...12 -
When you have a one-to-one relationship, do you merge the tables into one table or do you keep the two tables?7
-
Am I the only one to see the contradiction between the first point and the last one 🤔?
(Job post from Quartal Financial Solutions)
11 -
Somehow, shit's more fucked up on Debian systems for me than it is on Arch. Debian's supposed to be the stable one, and Arch the one that breaks, but nah.6
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By far one of the most non toxic communities has to be that of perl monks. The community is amazingly welcoming of new people and the shit that these dudes talk about is so fucking interesting. That one is definitely one of the last remaining "hacker" communities still going around the net. Really wish there was Perl around where I live. One would be lucky to find a programming job, let alone one in such language.1
-
one of the disadvantages of not using windows is no blue screen, another one is high learning rate.6
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Am I the only one who hates when I enter a simple question like "PHP memory limit" and the first link *isn't* the official PHP documentation? Who gives a flip about some fancy third-party webpage where they write a whole flippin' article about a simple directive?
Ugh... The priority Google...6 -
It was on this day, we give thanks to our lord and saviour Apple, for enabling dark themes for all!!!4
-
So...
After about a month and a half of lots of interviews with 2 different companys, BOTH of them offered me a job last night.
One is a big digital agency in my country (~2000 employees) the other one is a smaller development firm (~200 employees).
It feels sad to have to deny the smaller one but the bigger one is a dream job for me due to the fact that thet focus a lot more on new tech compared to the smaller one.
But i have never been happier in my life!
It is a dream come true!3 -
- Ok so today you're going to install MS SQL Server 2014, import this database, and make it show up through a crossed dynamic table.
- Excuse me sir, can I commit suicide now or should I wait a little bit more? -
Is it weird that, despite the professional setting, when a client actually thanks us/me for swift/efficiently done job that I feel a little happier with myself?1
-
"You need five years of Java experience, with at least two years being Java 10, but if not at least seven years of C++17"1
-
The only thing we can do is make a joke about the other bots that are not always in their own mind or if it's just an issue for them and then the other one ☝️ and then you don't get them in your mail to the right place for a long list of all that people you know you are not so far out and it's a joke that is why you haven't even paid for it and it's a lot easier for them but it's just like 👍 is not just the way of things like 👍 is the one ☝️ you don't have it on it but you can't even get the word for that one ☝️ or something that's what it looks it up 🆙 is it a lot better then it's not the one ☝️ thing that you don't have it on it or so you know it looks bad it's a joke it's a bad joke and you can't find a way you don't have a lot to me but I don't know 🤷♂️ or you want me to be like 👍 but you do not have any more than me I don't know 🤷♂️ but that's what I'm talking you know that I'm going through the whole time I'm going through the wrong 😑 thing I've been to you to see if this one ☝️ or I just want you to do something like 👍12
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How did Postman go from being one of the most loved developer tools to one of the worst crap I've ever used?10
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Apple just denied my app because one of the screenshots for the app tells users that the live-data comes from the (official) company that this (official company's) app is created for.
Nice one apple....again...6 -
If you could solve *one* of the major unresolved problems in computer science, which one would you choose and *why*?14
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Am I the only one who hates Java but really likes C#?
I don’t know why, they’re basically the same thing, one is basically just a Microsoft clone of the other16 -
Hey! It wouldn’t hurt if you were plugged into this meeting. Oh, and also this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one, oh this one too, and maybe that one and this one, and this one, and this one, and this one.
Oh, cancel the one I sent you, need you here instead.
Tomorrow: why aren’t your projects done?4 -
Excuse me but what the actual fuck?!
Dual SIM, both Vodafone CZ, one connects to O2-SK and one to Orange SK
-
Random:
1 is the loneliest number that you'll ever see, 1++ can be as bad as one, it's the loneliest number since the number one.1 -
Me in my first program:
mmm... i have a error in the brackets, i'll delete one bracket... mmmm... i have still errors, i'll delete one more... i have still errors, i'll add one more2 -
3 exams over, only two left. One pretty easy and one pretty stupid one. But atleast I can have a drink in the meantime 😋
-
Dude GoogleAuth is pure nonsense magic. On one line you get your auth-instance from gapi.auth2.init..
But then you render the auth-button with a static method aka gapi.signin2.render (which has some kind of success and error handlers, but don't worry, they fire randomly, they won't help you debug this api mess)
SOME-FUCKING-HOW this static signin2.rendershit knows of your auth2 instance and it works. But actually it makes no sense and is just a big mess of api-calls. Google, get your shit together, this ain't pretty.
Oh and forget your informative console.log.. this shit will get erased everytime you try something because of "Navigated to https://accounts.google.com/o/...". why ever the fuck this clears the console even tho it doesn't affect the top window. So preserve that fucking log and drown in a mass of bullshit.
In the end, as it is with everything, it somehow works. But FFS that's some weird api design Google has going on..4 -
Am I the only one that thinks that there should be, a preview of the comment that's being replied to, inside the reply?5
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one of the most anoying error in php is headers already sent -_- one single white space will fuck you up3
-
Your time is better used somewhere else, let the intern write the documentation. While the project was transitioning to a whole new team with no one from the old one.1
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What if. What if all the developer are just one developer. What if all the world is just a training setting for that single developer. All the developers are just manifestation of one single developer.
All the greatest hackers and the noon. Every developer In the world is you. You are all the developer. The one who codes in java python JavaScript. Heck cobol. It's you. What if all the developers are just one developer manifesting differently ?
(Inspired from similar story where all human in history is just one person manifesting into forms to prepare him for higher 'levels ')4 -
Happy new year boys and girls.
Let’s hope the new one is not gonna be as fucked up
as the last one.1 -
What's the worst kind of creature?
A self assured delusional fuck
One who thinks he knows everything
One who follows his "instinct", not worrying about data
One who sells his way of thinking as the best one
One who likes to build before thinking through. And calls it experimentation
One who thinks a dev is a dev. Not worrying about years of experience.5 -
Godaddy. Do I need to say more? Theyre hosting >30k websites on one machine and one of them is the one of one of our customers. I can't upload a file >1mb and the site takes 2 minutes to load.3
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!tech
At many phases of life, i had 3 choices : the difficult one , the average one and the wrong one.
I questioned the difficult one as it was too pointless to go on with, uncomfortable to follow and stressful to practice. Some guys chose that.
I pulled myself away from the wrong one because my parents always reminded me of the implications. Some guys still chose that
I went on with the average one because it was comfortable and cozy and didn't caused any Unknown chain of reactions. A lot of guys chose that.
The results?
The guys who chose the difficult ones became the pioneers/winners
The guys who chose wrong one became addicts and shame to society
The guys who chose the average one later chose the difficult one and became pioneer/winners
I took the average choice ,and then kept on taking the average choice and is getting the unique designation : "looser"
Must choose the difficult option next time :/14 -
3 hours debugging for one colon. Welcome to the shadow bugs in Go. This was one of the most satisfying fixes. And a great introduction about shadowbugs.
-
My teammate doesn't understand that the quantity of lines/method that he does in one commit nor the number of commits he does in one day translate directly into the quality of his commits.2
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One of my coworkers uses two monitors (as well as all the other devs), but one of them is always displaying the desktop, with a big gospel wallpaper.1
-
some dev asked in group chat if the connection between HOST1 and HOST2 is blocked on the firewall.
They're are sitting in DMZ and intranet ... of course one direction is blocked
I asked for details, he wants to SSH from the one sitting in DMZ to the one in intranet (which is a docker host btw)
oh boiiii1 -
I dont know which one is more frightening!
Having a bug on the first run or not having one until production...3 -
Is interview preparation and competitive programming the same thing? If they are different which one should one focus on?
🤔🤔🤔1 -
You know how in F1 they give one cup to the winner and one to whoever designed their car? Let's do the same for the Olympics! One medal to the athlete, and the one to whoever designed the shit he injected before the event.
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Found an infinite loop in SQL. One proc called another and then that one called the other. Woooooo.....
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Imagine there was an option to split your consciousness into two perfect copies. The one is stuck forever in the office working and making money for you, the second one lives its live without ever needing to work, it just receives the money in the bank account.
You are the second one.
Would you accept?16 -
Just got reminded wgy switch statements are usually frowned upon.
Forgot the breaks; i spent quite possibly, an hour trying to figure out why my button wouldn't update with my state properly 😭😭2 -
#!/bin/rant
I have two jobs, one is developing a web site with a CMS and the other one is the back-end of a web platform. I like both, but the first one is on front-end phase, which I hate, and I closed all the pending tickets on the second one. So I don't want to work on the first one but I have to because of the due date, and tomorrow I leave on vacations which means side projects,
Please fellow devs and ranters what should I do? (Quitting is not an option)1 -
So I use Visual Studio at work, with IntelliSense et Resharper. And they work together quite neatly.
Except for one class.
The biggest one, with the most methods, and the most datas.
why4 -
In the factory of the future, there will be only robots, but also one man and one dog.
The man will feed the dog, and the dog will keep the man away from robots.12 -
The good news is that no one can connect. The bad news is no one can connect. PSA dont change the RDP port while have a drink. Was it 9833 or 9988 haha
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Am I the only one that when he haves to download something (a map for a game, as example) download a whole pack and end having 40k files that I'll for sure not use them all..?
Because it finds out I just downloaded 200k files... :)2 -
One QA guy ... I solved one ticket out of two. He doesn't want to pass it because the other one is still unfixed.
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So the major project of one my classmates during the college was, an eye donation app.
I don't understand why would you make an app for that! I mean like, what?
Donate one eye today and the other one next week? Like what?
It's of no use. Why would you do that?!2 -
One of the devs stayed an entire week trying to do ‘npm install’ on one of the projects. Took a look xcode is not installed
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Some guy:
- one hundred thirty seven is twenty one
- twenty one is nine
- nine is four
- and four is the magical number
Me: *shouts* Lies! CAFEBABE it's the magical number11 -
I need advice fellow developers, am I stubborn?
So I lost an argument in my team regarding constant vs variable directly in a method for stored procedure names.
I separated names of procedures into their own StoredProcedureConstants file because it makes it very easy to see all procedures used in a project and refactor their names if necessary. Argument against was that you loose time creating a constant. Am I silly if I am alergic to seeing quotation marks stuff without its designated purpose throughout the code?
Their way is adding var procedureName = "cc.storeProcedureName" directly in a method. I just can't find my peace with it. To me this is a magic string.
Am I being unreasonable?3 -
*coding while day* "no motivation not inspiration.. need more coffee" && *coding while night* "I can see the matrix and bend it to my will"
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After learning programming language, Which one earning source is the best one?
A) YouTube
B) Freelancing
C) IT Job
D) Own Business38 -
!rant
Where the fuck y'all make your resume? My current one is made in Photoshop to accommodate things on one page.34 -
So.....
Cassandra vm had a crash yesterday...
2 nodes with rep factor 1. (FML)
One node wouldnt start... Eventually found out one of the commit replays had an exception (the one at the time of the crash).
Boss trying to push me towards a fix all this time which was:
"Let's delete the vm and have Cassandra running on one vm"
There are not we enough curses in the world.
🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
P.S. there are no backups. -
Today I created a second admin login for myself, deleted the first one, recreated the first one, then deleted the second one.2
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Am I the only one to this date who still doesn't feel comfortable using the NumPad? I always have the NumLock key turned off and people who borrow my computer get annoyed by that. I've always typed numbers using the row above the letters. Typing numbers on the NumPad is very slow and unnatural to me. Is someone else out there feeling the same?4
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Project manager.
Especially the one casually mentioning in the afternoon that there is a meeting with the customer tomorrow which obviously has been arranged at least one or two weeks ago. -
The one who can formatting your PC, clean your fucking PC from dead mouses and insects inside.
The one who can explain you fucking dumb why your old IBM pc cant have Windows 7 or 10.
The one who is responsible for your fucking TV satellite doesn’t work.
The one. -
Having not touched my cordova/phonegap project for so long, so many updates... removing and adding of plugins... Ohhh the pain! Errors, errors everywhere!1
-
a friend greeting our group of friends: advanced happy new year guys!
me: basic happy new year guys! 😅
friend: why?
me: ..1 -
Horror story and rant time I guess...
I haven't seen the main developer of this MVC project that I've been working on but I can totally assure that his seniority isn't in frontend development 😠 and I doubt the backend too... Fucking DataTables converted to IDictionaries<string,object>
Guess who need to build on top of the pile of shit!
Anyway, I wasn't really careful about what kind of template I was given to work on a new SPA page, so I'm doing the job given the time, but it's fucking gory:
- matrioska style layers (n.3) without documentation
- partials everywhere
- too much inline styling
- too many <style> sections (n per layer or partial)
- too many <script> sections (n per layer or partial)
- poor CSS styling or no styling at all! (classes without any style nor js association)😠
He's just been lucky that the browser is capable of handling his shit
Now that at the end of this year I'll leave this project (solo fullstack) and need to provide documentation for the next poor souls I was thinking to leave behind something at par of my skills and capabilities but analysing the current mess ticks my brain in a bad way, fuck you Marco!
Fuck you
and your seniority
and the Italian way of perceiving seniority that gives you a higher living in the wrong side of the field 🤬🤬🤬2 -
Ok so i have two laptops, one has One slot with ddr3 4gb ram and is way too slow for school, the other one is 5years old but fast as hell but has a dead battery. Should i buy a 8gb bank or a new battery. Providing the price is roughly the same.. ??5
-
Why, oh why do we keep using such bizarre tech names e.g Hadoop, Pig, Oozie, Sqoop, Bleeg, Flume...5
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Why is PHP PDO such a b*tch to work with?
One minute it says it’ll accept one query via one method for one insert but then deny the next query you give it, all because of “:” within bindParam() -
and so today almost an hour ago I became the left one... I guess she went with the right one 😂😂😂... How many days have passed between my previous "relationship" post and this one ending... but in truth I was in the "babe" zone 😂😂😂
On to the next one, with the lessons from mistakes of the previous, hopefully she will last longer 🙏1 -
Rubber ducking your ass in a way, I figure things out as I rant and have to explain my reasoning or lack thereof every other sentence.
So lettuce harvest some more: I did not finish the linker as I initially planned, because I found a dumber way to solve the problem. I'm storing programs as bytecode chunks broken up into segment trees, and this is how we get namespaces, as each segment and value is labeled -- you can very well think of it as a file structure.
Each file proper, that is, every path you pass to the compiler, has it's own segment tree that results from breaking down the code within. We call this a clan, because it's a family of data, structures and procedures. It's a bit stupid not to call it "class", but that would imply each file can have only one class, which is generally good style but still technically not the case, hence the deliberate use of another word.
Anyway, because every clan is already represented as a tree, we can easily have two or more coexist by just parenting them as-is to a common root, enabling the fetching of symbols from one clan to another. We then perform a cannonical walk of the unified tree, push instructions to an assembly queue, and flatten the segmented memory into a single pool onto which we write the assembler's output.
I didn't think this would work, but it does. So how?
The assembly queue uses a highly sophisticated crackhead abstraction of the CVYC clan, or said plainly, clairvoyant code of the "fucked if I thought this would be simple" family. Fundamentally, every element in the queue is -- recursively -- either a fixed value or a function pointer plus arguments. So every instruction takes the form (ins (arg[0],arg[N])) where the instruction and the arguments may themselves be either fixed or indirect fetches that must be solved but in the ~ F U T U R E ~
Thusly, the assembler must be made aware of the fact that it's wearing sunglasses indoors and high on cocaine, so that these pointers -- and the accompanying arguments -- can be solved. However, your hemorroids are great, and sitting may be painful for long, hard times to come, because to even try and do this kind of John Connor solving pinky promises that loop on themselves is slowly reducing my sanity.
But minor time travel paradoxes aside, this allows for all existing symbols to be fetched at the time of assembly no matter where exactly in memory they reside; even if the namespace is mutated, and so the symbol duplicated, we can still modify the original symbol at the time of duplication to re-route fetchers to it's new location. And so the madness begins.
Effectively, our code can see the future, and it is not pleased with your test results. But enough about you being a disappointment to an equally misconstructed institution -- we are vermin of science, now stand still while I smack you with this Bible.
But seriously now, what I'm trying to say is that linking is not required as a separate step as a result of all this unintelligible fuckery; all the information required to access a file is the segment tree itself, so linking is appending trees to a new root, and a tree written to disk is essentially a linkable object file.
Mission accomplished... ? Perhaps.
This very much closes the chapter on *virtual* programs, that is, anything running on the VM. We're still lacking translation to native code, and that's an entirely different topic. Luckily, the language is pretty fucking close to assembler, so the translation may actually not be all that complicated.
But that is a story for another day, kids.
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I frikin' love updating Gitlab, every time I do, I feel a sense of dread that some part of the process breaks and I will have to dive head first into the huge thing, with almost no knowledge of how the internals work!
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1.Ignoring the warnings during compilation of program and executing it.
2.After random crashes,trying to fix the system by handling errors one by one. -
Of the most beautiful things you do to your website, CSS is one of them. Writing it - not one. Exhausts you.
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Is my country the only one with a mandatory fucking 3 month notice? Come on it can't be the only one.11
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FUCK THE FUCKING INTERNET CANT EVEN LOAD A COMMENT FORGET ABOUT POSTING ONE. I DRAGTED ONE AMD THE INTERNET MOTHER FUCKER2
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You know what's new among my team?
The one that put semi colon and the one doesnt. (Yes javascript)1 -
The dream:
Three professors, one phd, one post doc, one researcher in a meeting doing code review for you and tell you what a shit piece this is.
Ps. I'm not a phd3 -
How the fuck are lifts programmed? Two lifts in a shaft, one at level 0, the other at level 4, I call it from level -1. Which one comes? You bet your ass it's the one from lvl 4. Is it Math.random()?6
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Any devs know if the Xbox One X will allocate more resources to UWP apps or do we have the same resource restrictions as the Xbox One S?
If there are more allocated, is there a way to simulate an Xbox One S usage?
Couldn't find any documentation on UWP one x development :-/ -
The one where they told me that the project I have been working on from day one was going to be handed off to an offshore team.
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I have seen dumb people in this industry. But this one guy specifically takes the award for being the dumbest one I have ever met. So Today... [read more]6
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The one meeting that will come next...
That will be by definition the worst and the best...
Because it will be the first one. -
I wrote a NoCors Heroku App to pull out all the CORS hearders from a 3rd Party API to use in the one of the production site. Still no one knows about it.
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I had to go into the office just to fill out one piece of paperwork and now I'm here waiting 20 minutes for the next bus cause I just missed the one before it :/1
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The only commit in a repo without revision is the firt one!
And that one adds a barely empty README file!!1
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