Actually finish a proj.... Oh I'm sorry I got distracted and started a new projec... Oh look a bird...

The new iPhone 7 comes out on August. If you want to have a sneak peek at the new iPhone. Take a look at the your current iPhone and pretend it costs 200 dollars more.

Current me

Dev: what do I call this file ?
Me: just name it something meaningful so other dev's know what it is

Two days pass

Me: time to do code review .. oh look a new file ..

Git comment : new file for sax parsing , architecture gave the ok.

File name : SomethingMeaningful.java

My friend called me up once saying the new mouse he bought to use with his laptop wasn't working.
I told him to just plug it into the usb port and it should just work immediately.
After an hour of trying shitload of things I finally gave up and said I'll come over and have a look.

And there was his mouse.

Connected to a phone charger.

To a wall outlet.

LET'S LEARN ANGULAR2

* look for some good tutorial *
* download atom-typescript *
* type "ng new demo" in console"

1185 errors.

FINISHED LEARNING ANGULAR2

So YouTube is busy soft launching it's new look and guess what?... It has a dark theme!

-Some run marathons, I run Python
-Some have energy drinks, I have Java
-Some fight in MMA, I fight with CSS
-Some see new places, I C new Places();
-Some are quick, I am Swift
-Some go camping, I Go Compiling
-Some can judge objectively, I can judge Objective-c
-Some climb mountains, I Scala Structures
-Some live adventurous lives, I live a BASIC one
-Some go ball, I COBOL
-Some watercolor, I Pascal
-Some look for diamonds and emeralds, I look for Ruby and Perl
-Some write novels, I TypeScript
-Some banter, I SmallTalk

This actually happend in my secondary school class. A new guy came to our class. The whole family moved from another city.
*new guy want to start conversation with me*
new guy: "So you into computers and stuff like that?"
me: "Yes" *seems like a cool guy , want to develop the conversation further* "what about you man? do you like computers? do yo program or smth?"
*new guy wants to look cool in front of me*
new guy: " Yeah dude, actually I am hacker"
*me saying to myself, oh fuck not again this shit*
he continues with: " Once I got into the NASA system"
*switches mode to making fun of him*
me: "what the fuck man? really? that´s freaking cool, how you manage to do that? "
new guy: " you know the thing when you press F10 when starting a comupter? "
me: "You mean BIOS?"
new guy : "yeah yeah man through that shit"
* I am done, laughing my ass off and walks away*

Me when I look through my old projects: Man, what the fuck was I thinking.

Me when I look through my new and current projects:
Man, what the fuck am I thinking.

1. Create user on website.
2. Receives mail with username and password.
3. Changes password.
4. Receives mail with new password.
5. Delete account and look for another service.

My fresh new look

A: Hey look! I have a brand new computer!
B: Oh, so you use Linux?
A: No, I use Windows.
B: Than it's not your computer.

What an awful day :(

The server where I host my 4 clients websites crashed.

Unable to reboot from the console.

I contact the support. 15 minutes later: "we'll look at this"

No news for 1 week despite my messages.

Then... 1st ticket escalation... 2nd ticket escalation... 3rd ticket escalation...

Answer: "Sorry, your server is down and cannot be repaired."

Fuck.

I ask "is there any way to get my data back?". Answer: "No, because we would shutdown the whole bay and all our clients would be impacted".

Fuck.

I subscribe to another server, at another provider.

I look at my backups... shit, the last one is 4 month ago!!

I restore the first website: OK

I restore the second website: OK

I restore the third website: My new server is "too recent" and not compatible. with this old Wordpress. Fuck! I'll look at this later...

I restore the fourth website: database is empty!! What??? I look at the SQL backup for this site... it failed...

I lost ALL my 4th client data!!!

I'm sooooo piece of crap!

I'm moving to a new place soon meaning that I'll have to get a new desk/chair. (current ones suck)

I need a good one of both but I'm not rich so was looking for more cheap options.

The guy next to me is moving out soon as well appearantly and he came to me and another roommate like "hey I'm going to buy everything new, fresh start! If you guys would like to have anything, let me know!"

Me: also a desk/chair by any chance?
Guy: yup, take a look :)
*takes a look*
Me: the damn they look very good! Are you sure you want to get rid of them? I'd think they cost quite some money.
Guy: yeah, you can also have the couch table/clothing closet if you'd like! (all designer/quality stuffs)

😍

Boss: I need this page to behave in a completely new way.
Me: that's all fine and dandy but it requires a rewrite.
Boss: nah just look man, it's really simple all I want is blah, blah blah...

I'm too tired for this shit

The director of then dutch intelligence agency AIVD (nsa/gchq equivalent) said, because the new mass surveillance law is getting loads of heat/criticism, that before the Dutch citizens should worry about the new surveillance law, they should look into which online companies they trust with their online data and why they trust those companies.

Nice try, sir. You're (probably deliberately) missing the entire point.

Designer (to the client): Yes it'll be exactly like this mock up after I hand it over to the iOS developer.

Client: Awesome! Looking forward to it.

* Designer goes to developer *

Designer (to developer): Hey these are the new designs for the app, let me know if you have any questions, ok?

Developer: Cool.

* 1 minute later *
* developer goes to designer *

Developer (to designer): How should error messages or notifications look like?

Designer: Oh we should just email those because it won't look good.

Developer: The fuck? And are you going to design this email service too?

first day of new junior.
me : tell me what you know about inheritance
junior : don't look at me, we're very poor, if my parent's die i wont get a single dime

me(in my head) : this is gonna be fun.

Me: So, I need stay focus on my open source projects to get some GitHub stars...

Five minutes later ...

Me: oh look new movies on Netflix !

Daaaamn !!!

Recruiter: Hi practiseSafeHex, I’ve looked at your LinkedIn profile and you look like a perfect fit for my new client. The role is a lead Java developer with experience in .......

Me: Where on my profile have I listed or mentioned Java in any way?

LinkedIn Notification: a person who chose to remain anonymous, with the title “Recruiter” just viewed your profile.

Wow, I wonder who could it possibly be? I’m stumped!

Also probably the first time he did look. Getting fed up with these asshats

That moment when you have things to do, but instead you're learning 4 new languages because they look fun.

Today @ 4pm:

New dev: I need help with this issue, i've been stuck on it all day.

Me: ok let's look ...... ok, and did you try google this?

New dev: ... no

Me: ... why?

New dev: well this is clearly my issue, why would I google it? I only google for things I don't know

Me: ... ok ... we'll do you know what this bug is then?

New dev: haha ok, fair point, I'll give that a try. Thanks for the tip.

Seriously, should I be worried? I feel worried

We’re recruiting new team members, and so our recruiting staff wanted some input on what to look for. We told them that we need more frontend devs, mainly for JS frameworks like React and Aurelia.

And now a few weeks later we find out that our newly recruited Java developer is starting this monday. Thanks

Take a Look at my Brand new stress ball

Schrödingers WhatsApp, I both have new messages and I don't have new messages up to the point I open it and look.

Thanks for the useful notification!

// Translated: "You might have new messages"

Have a look at my new coding buddy and all its awesomeness!

Overheard this conversation today:
1: look at this! My shiny new iPhone can measure stuff!
2: how accurate is it?
1: not very, it is pretty buggy.
2: how did the bugs get in there?
3: it is an apple so

I've been a hardstyle fan/freak for about 8 years now and this music helps (rawstyle in particular) me through anything really.

But, since I love this genre/music to the point, I'm looking at producing it myself currently and fresh/new music is a good thing for me because it allows me to get in touch with loads of different techniques.

So there's this YouTube channel (the only Google service I use) which makes it easy for new rawstyle talents to enter the scene. You can send them tracks and if they meet a certain quality criteria then they're uploaded with proper credit given.

So anyways, when I've got a bad dev/sysadmin day, I go there to look for new tracks and re-listen 'old' ones in order to feel better, get to know more awesome music/new talents and listen to new techniques 😃

Jokes aside, this got me thinking html is most used and most successful hacking tool out there.

99.99% of the time it's far easier to socially engineer and phish for existing credentials that scan networks, sniff ports and look for vulnerable versions of software, new vulnerabilities etc.

We (people) are ad always will be a zero day exploit.

!rant

Just finished the new voting system for the school representative of my school, tomorrow ~600 students (including me) will use it, feels good! :)

Btw, I'm 16

Also, I am working on another project if anyone wants to take a look and give me some design feedback, as I learned everything I know by myself (It's in German though, I'm from Austria)

I wonder why new Office icons look like a ripoff from stack exchange....

Agile in practice.

I finished my story with 3 days left in our 2 week sprint.

Me: What story should I pull in next?
PM: Story <number> to add <new feature>
Me: ok, sounds good
PM: Will you finish it before our sprint ends?
Me: No, probably will take me 5-7 days.
PM: But it can't spill over, it will make our metrics look bad.
Me: I can't finish it in 3 days.
PM: ....
Me: Can't you just explain the spillover as us working ahead?
PM: It will look bad on our <automated-report>
Me: ....
Me: So don't want me to get started on <new feature>?
PM: ....
Me: <internally sighing> What do you want me to do?
PM: Maybe you can pair program with <Overpaid-Idiot-Programmer> to help finish their story
Me: ....
Me: feelsbadman.jpg

Doesn't it look like Bixby(New virtual assistant from Samsung) logo got inspired a bit from Clippy(Microsoft office assistant)?

Or is it only me?

!Rant

I am in love. Her name is Valerie.
I can tell you 4k reasons why I love her.
She has turned my view 180degrees.
She is so cool. And so fast.
She is slim, pretty.
She is colorfull and has depth.
She also has huge ... things to look at

Man I got to buy the new Razer

Visual Studio 2019 is gonna look awesome… even though I don't get why the new "blue" theme will be violet. 🤔

- Hey, have you heard of devRant?
- Look I have been a developer for more than 20 years; new IDEs, editors, languages or whatever that is, appear every week and they all just die. I'm sticking to my guns and nothing you can say can convince me to even look at this devCrap or whatever it is.
- Oooooookay...
#devCrap

Holy fucking shit!
Look, I know I'm kinda average, I actually think I'm kinda stupid... But holy fuck this new mother fucker at work is in a fucking new level of dumb ... OMG!

I'm actually thinking about asking my boss to let him go and this guy isn't even there for 2 weeks yet.

Started working on a new project. One test failed, after unsuccessful tries to fix it, I ask the team lead for advice and help.
The guy takes a look and just deletes the test and says "There, done!"

That's why Amazon is special. Look at the what's new section for the app update.

!rant
Finally did a clean reinstall of my six-year-old Macbook. Decided to change up the theme too, really liking the new 80s Outrun look. Running so smoothly too!

**Overheard new intern struggling with git talking to lead developer

Intern: "I am having trouble with the git repo on my local machine, can you take a look?"

*** Looks at code for three seconds

Lead developer: "Yeah, I suggest you just delete and reclone the repo."

Seriously, look at this guy’s bloody phone. He’s not letting go of it, it’s been like this for ages. He’s got missing pieces of glass above the lcd, there are cracks all over, sellotape all over. At some point you gotta realise it’s affecting the user experience.

If you don’t want to get a new phone, at least have the screen replaced!!

That moment when you show a funny devRant to your group of friends and you sit there crying from laughter while they just look weird at you because they doesn't know how to code. I think I need a new group of friends...

My mobile provider doesn't allow me to set a password that contains any other symbol than letters and numbers for the website where you can look at how much data you consumed (and can order new data, change plans, etc.). Are you kidding me. This is making shit insecure, you fucks!

me: "hey look, something new and awesome I could use in my projects!" (WebAssembly in this case)
also me: "I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT I WOULD USE THIS FOR"

Start a new job working in systems administration.
Create redundancy so you can finally pull out cables.
Trip over the fucking cables before you're able to impliment the switch.
....
Look for a new job

It's my 2nd week into my new job. I asked people what they think they are doing.

The summary:

Senior dev: we fix bugs
Junior dev: we write code
Intern: we create the future

It depends how you look at it. They are all called software engineer or developer.

Meet my new toy, Centos7 as of this afternoon (once I get the usb burned and installation done)

She's not much to look at, but she's mine.

Was coding and tired as hell, my light in the room blew this week and I haven't got around to replacing it - the darkness is not exactly that exciting.

Pressed a wrong button by accident, lo and behold my laptop has a backlit keyboard. I had no idea that it had this. Blew my fucking mind (I have never had the time to just sit and look at the function keys - I suppose that is one downside to never having to look at the keyboard when one types).

A new flow of inspiration came upon me, I opened up VSCode and put on some Pantera.

Code beware, I'm fucking hostile.

I absolutely hate software that throws error message boxes that look identical to their "please enter new password" message box.

User called and said they needed their password reset. I give them a temp pin and tell them to press ok to the prompt and then put new password in. She says it is still saying invalid pin. This goes on for 10 minutes. I hang up and try on my laptop. Works fine. Then it hits me.

The message boxes look the same. Have the same width and height and shitty little yellow triangle with ! In the middle. The only difference between them is the text in size 9 font.

Gotta read people...cause sometimes the people developing your software assume you can. And to all the software people out there....end users don't want to fucking read.

The best thing about having COBOL in my last internship is not that it opens you a lot of new job opportunities, is the look of fear and respect of your coworkers when you say that you learned it.

Look at my new 4k display... *-*

I want to leave my job because it only uses old technologies but when I look for jobs they're looking for people with experience on new technologies. Catch-22.

Modern tragedy in four lines:

- I just bought a new 1TB SSD
- Look at all this free space
- Let's do npm install
- Oh no

!rant
I'm currently helping a junior developer in my team to get on board. He is new to Linux and whenever I ask him to work on vi editor, I get to see that look on his face!

so I was working on a new frontend design for our desktop app when I told my boss

me: this will not look good in a lower resolution. I think we should reconsider

boss: thats ok. its the customer's fault for using that kind of resolution

after a week

boss: we should reconsider the design. the customers are complaining about resolution issues

Here's how Google icons will look from the perspective of a colorblind individual (deuteranopia). See how bad the new icons in the second row looks like.

My work just gave me a new MacBook Pro with the Touch Bar. Dear Apples, I can’t even!!!!

What a piece is shit! I can’t charge my phone, plug in my monitor or my mouse without a freakin dongle! Worse of all, I can’t feel the keys to reduce volume, I always have to look does at the Touch Bar, tap twice to reduce the volume. How inefficient!

FU Apple! FU!

Friday 4:59pm
PM: hey, we need to add this new feature to the project.
Me: no problem, I'll take a look on Monday.

Monday 8:01am
PM: how's that new task coming along?
Me: 😩

FIrst look at chromes new UI and all I could think was ewww...

Customer wanted us to put XP on a netbook after having us look at her XP tower.

This is what we all want to say about her "new" PC

Look i have new space for new sticker
Hmmp

Im thinking devRant sticker would be there.
Help me to reach this post 20 +++

1 like = 1 prayer
Haha
😂😂😂

Me: (upon waking up) "I am going to be very productive today."
Me: (during my commute) "I am going to be very productive today."
Me: (getting coffee before going in) "I am going to be very productive today."
Me: (sitting down to be very productive today) "Oh look! New devRant notifications!"

I like coding at night, nobody bothers you... Anyway, I'll never forget when I had to write a Huffman compressor(and decompressor) in C for a school project. It was New Year's Eve of 2016, as fireworks were blowing outside the window of my room, I was fixing bugs. Then, around 4am, I fixed all the bugs. I felt exhilarated as I started compressing and decompressing random images on the internet, comparing hashes.
One of the best New Year's Eve ever... Don't look at me like that... I like being weird.

Just bought a new monitor.... Look at those blacks!

When you no longer need to search SO in your daily work, it's time to look for a new job.

Happened at work a few months ago (I'm new to devRant, that's why I post this now):
"I have bugs!" - "Then fix them..." - "No, come here and have a look, I have bugs!"
He literally had a bunch of very small insects inside of his monitor, don't ask me how they got there.

Been a while since I've posted, so I might as well look into getting active again, so hello old friends and the new guys :)

Ever since finishing my bachelors, I've been mostly working frontend with React and Jest testing. Might as well throw in my workplace.

How you look when you show up to your new job as a Senior WordPress Developer

When you're training a new guy who thinks hes better than you and completely overwrites all the code you've been working on because he thinks UX designed it wrong and it should look "correct". Thats not how corporate business works buddy...

Earlier today I went to the store to buy some new goods. Noticed some other person who was listening to music.. wirelessly, just like I often do. Wow, that's not something that I see every day. Normally everyone still has these wired headsets. So I took a closer look.
…
I shouldn't have. He was wearing AirPods. You were so close bud.. so close!

This will definitely trigger some people.

New smartphone releases aren't 'tech news'.
An implementation of a technology ripped off from other devices (GPS, VR etc..) isn't 'tech news', it's just implementation of an existing technology.

So please, everyone who reads the self-called 'tech news' to look for a new phone release to waste money on - stop calling yourself a 'tech geek' - "Oh my god, I'm such a tech geek, it's embarrassing - this new iPhone was released and I just couldn't wait to get spend my money on it".

Just shut the fuck up - you are willingly dragging a tracking device everywhere you go and you are PAYING for it to look cool and be full of features you won't even fucking use.

Subject of message: "Important: New feature for all 000webhost users." Thanks, 000webhost, an hour of downtime a day was exactly the feature I wanted to be implemented. P.S. if you have OCD, don't look at how many unread messages I have

Let's learn something new
P.S. look on the comments, that's something eye opener

Not a rant, just a gag I do from time to time. Today a new colleague arrived. He presents himself and after sometime he asks me:
- so how long are you working here?
I look at my watch and say
- oh just about six years now.
They always look so confused 😂

Bethesda is full of shit. Starfield somehow needs a super new PC because it alledgedly uses modern SW tech.

Strange point: while a high-end PC with 7800X3D and 4090 makes the performance bearable (though not great), the graphics don't look spectacular. In fact, they look outdated.

No Bethesda, you don't use modern tech. You require modern HW tech to make up somewhat for your shitty engine and incompetent devs.

I've had my wallet for a good 5/6 years. I love it. It's getting old. So much so I was about to go look for a new trusty pocket friend, however, thanks to devRant it now has a new lease of life... Well, hopefully for a few more months at least. 😪

*starts to work on a new project while others remain unfinished*
*bulb lights up* oh look a new project idea
*goes on to start on that one instead*

Being a student developer is awkward.

The new iPhone will be out soon. For those who want to know what new features will be coming with it: have a look at last generation android phones.

Oh look a new chrome update!

*Installs update*

I regret everything!!!!

Come on Google I love material design but fuck me is the new update ugly... Besides the new tab page.

Seems my robot project is postponed for some days :) Let's have a look at some new interesting firmware first... . And some minor testing of course.

!rant
Love the new look of Windows with the Insider Program!
Slick!

Me to gf: hey hun look what I built! (Shows off new project)

Gf: (sees video playing in background) oh that's so cool! Did you do that? (Points at video)

Me: no, but look at this! (Shows off feature)

Gf: oh... well that's great hun, I'm so happy you are doing what you love

Look, I got a new Molex-Watch.

Me in front of an year old code snippet:

1) "omg, wtf did i write that time?"

2) "i'm going to fix it"

3) after 2 hours lost trying to get new code working... reset from git

4) look around feeling guilty

How I want my Git history to look like:

New Feature - Step 1
New Feature - Step 2
Adjustments
...

How my history looks instead:

Super massive Mega Feature
Fixes
Fixes
...

So yesterday i solved 7 tickets on my own for this project while the teammate was "testing".

Solved nothing and checked fb or new everytime i took a look at his screen.

Can comeone please fire this guy?

I must say I like the new Chrome look and feel update.

Thanks, good folks! Took a little while because I ended up moving before the letter arrived, but it's finally in my hands. Look at my shiny new devRantBook!

Since learning electronics I have a new found love for fixing peoples printers:

Now I actually look at it before saying "yep it's fucked! Better get a new one, do you want me to toss the old one for you?"

I'm now only one rail away from having a cnc machine.

Had to integrate legacy code into the new framework.

Me: Where does the virtual sensor come from?
Colleague: It's in the docs.
Me: That step is not in the docs.
Colleague: It is, look into the file $FILE.
Me: Yeah, it's empty :D
Colleague: Nope, it's not.
Me: See, empty (pointing to laptop screen)
Colleague: Why is it empty? (keyboard typing...) Damnit, too many git remotes in my repo :D

Alright, it is propably time to look for a new job

I bought a new car, I cry every time I look to the radio switch ...
Why Volkswagen ?

The project is complete, i am free :') Time to look for a new job, maybe try myself at big data

I need to do codereviews at work...

Everytime i get c# code im just happy, it's beautiful to look at, easy to follow, new language features every couple of months or so...

And then I get Java/Android Code.... 😩☠🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️.

(I mainly code in C++)

Got a text message from a former coworker who was spared the layoffs from $last_job.

"Go look at the status board, they left it up after the layoffs".

The 99% uptime is now down to 80% and you can practically pick out the exact week when the company laid off half the engineering team.

But hey, they redesigned the homepage and got a new logo.

Do you guys think that in terms of a design, we're in a refresh loop?

Like, I don't think the goal of a design is to be user friendly and optimal for all human eyes. There's a million ways sideways to achieve that.

I think the real thing most designers go for is to just make something look "new". And every few years that needs to be redone. Forever. In an infinite loop.

Fuck actual usability, thought-out layouts, contrast rules, what-the-fuck ever. 99% of the goal is to make it look "modern"

tfw...

• the new "sr dev" asks what the point of TDD is
• being polite, I answer in an ELI5 format
• rest of the room nods head in agreement
• new "sr dev" still has baffled look on face

Some days ago a friend told me about this good site to by the new .app domains, bigdaddy.com.
So I wanted to look for a domain and ooops, thats gay porn 😮
I confused names with godaddy.com. Maybe a lecture at uni is not the best place to open this site 😅

* 1 day of requesting the feature, deadline not for a while*

switch{
case 1:

Manager: How's the new feature going?

Me: I've done a bit of the front end. Here's how it will look.

Manager: Oh great it's done! Does it do ABC as the client requested? Does it also do XYZ that I just thought about this second?

Me: eh this is just part of the front end, I haven't even connected it to the backend - I haven't even started the backend.

case 2:
Manager: How's the new feature going?

Me: I've done a bit of the back end.

Manager: ok. Can I look?

Me: we'll it's just code... *shows them the code*

Manager: oh... so it's nothing really. Call me when it is done
}

I'm pretty sure my clients would fail the marshmallow test 9/10 times if not 10/10 times. We have a certain time period of the day set aside for me to look into new reported bugs but besides that I'm supposed to work on regular tasks. Of course, they ask me five hours after that time period is done, whether I can look into a new (non-urgent) bug. At the cost of the new thing they want to launch in 2 weeks. 🤔 I would love it if we actually had time to fix every single bug in the codebase but what typically happens is I get about 15 bug reports (most duplicates) and I'm expected to fix all of them in a span of 2 hours.

Finding the right balance between well written, need-one-week, maintainable software, and fast-written, ready-in-2-hours-and-never-look-at-it-again software.

Last time it took me 20 minutes to integrate with a new API. I had a script that did everything you needed. I then spent 2 weeks on handling error responses, unexpected responses, exceptions, intelligent retries, logging, unit tests, integration tests, caching, documentation, etc.

After a not-so-great week last week, look what magically appeared to wish me a better week this week. 😊 Saving these for a new machine I plan on ordering soon. Thanks!

Me: We have a new research project for you. We need you to test these 2 new services, see how they will fit into the new application, look at alternatives if necessary etc. At the end we need you to write a report with your findings, showing how you would integrate them to achieve X, Y and Z, and how much it would cost each month.

Dev: sounds good, I'll come back to you when I have it.

*2 and a half weeks later*

Document paragraph 1: The new language translation service doesn't support the languages we need.

Document paragraph 2: Here's my proposal for integrating the new language translation service.

*review*

Me: So I had a look at the doc and it says it doesn't support the languages.

Dev: yeah unfortunately not.

Me: Ok, so when you discovered that, why didn't you look for an alternative? Or come back to me and say it's not going to work.

Dev: I dunno, I thought you'd want to see the rest of the research first.

Me: ... not if we know for 100% undeniable fact that it will never function.

Dev: Ah ok, I didn't think of that. I'll do that next time, don't worry.

... aw how sweet, he thinks there will be a next time. Poor guy.

Hey Guys Look.
It's that asshole who never paid me calling me about his brand new idea.
Should I pick it?

I am driven by my love for this industry and wanting to do everything to the best of my ability.

Being a strong advocate for quality i am always on the look put for new practices and finding new ways to improve my code.

If you consider a project 'done' then you gave up on it.

When I "just" have a quick look at this new framework...

tldr; devRant is great

My favorite part of devRant is I ask an opinion on a technology and so many people give me alternatives or ideas to look into and learn about instead. This is why I enjoy this community I'm always learning about new things i probably wouldn't have heard about otherwise. Or at least wouldn't have run into for a long while. Thank you all

So TripleByte ended in rejection though they gave very detailed feedback and specific areas and even resources to look at. 👍

But it seems I'm not going to be able to escape algorithms in interviews so I'm not getting a new job anytime soon, even in tech.

So the only thing left to try in order to get my cake seems to be joining an open source project.

Ordered a takeout wok/poke this evening from a new place. The only thought after tasting - what kind of junior made this....? I hope I write code better than he cooks food.

It looks like what it's supposed to look
it smells as it should
it has all the ingredients

but the taste is just... Not right.

I takes special skill to make it so wrong!

Boss: look we have only VR projects this year. You need to learn Unity.

ME: NO fucking way..... FUCK You unthankful PRICK. I'm not going to learn your fucking unity bullshit after all those backends, mobile apps, code I've wrote for you? I FUCKING HATE UNITY. Time for a new job I guess.

I'm lazy as 🦆 duck

e.g
If I want to implement a new functionality I'll just look for a library for it, rather writing it from scratch

that feeling when you start looking at code after dinner, correct a bug or two, start implementing new features, tweak the code a little bit, you are really focus in your coding... then look out the window and realize the sun is about to come up. it's great 🤓

I have this super comfortable OpenSUSE Tumbleweed shirt that I really like, but my girlfriend does not. She says it makes me look too geeky.

Fine, I wore it to the gym and made new Linux friends there. So I guess I won in the end.

"Why don't you look for a new job?"

I have a monthly coffee meetup with an ex colleague, where we rant about each others frustrations at work. Since she used to be part of my team she knows everybody and can relate to my stories and updates. In short: she was the kick in the boot I needed to start looking, and after the summer break I'll start a new job making 45% more.

On today's episode of devRant we have..... 🥁

No really, What's new in the world on this windy, cold, miserable, wait what day is it again? Oh Wednesday, I seriously had to look that up.

COVID staycation is blending the days together now.

Everytime I present to an older client (40+) his new website, he look at me like I am some kind of magician, when I show him, that he can easily add & replace any text or image. Surely I am.

Just had my year 1 review.
They love what I've done so far, exceeded every expectation. But the salary will be looked at 6 months from now. It's already awful enough at work.

About time to look for something new in case they take the piss out of me in 6 months.

When you look through two year old code and have to make it conform with your new and shiny code.😀

Just...Macbooks

(sigh)

The entire day wasted having to install a new OS to install a new Xcode to export an app, only to find the xcode was installed under a different user (who has long since gone from the company) to then have to look up what to do, to then just sit...........and....................wait.............for Xcode to download again.
And I know when I try to export my app (which had zero problems being exported to Android) I'm going to hit an entire day tomorrow of bug fixing for ios sh...stuff

Random rant: You should always look for a new job, even after landing a good(seemingly) one. It keeps you on edge and synchronized with the market.

Employers also should not shun people who are looking for new job, if they somehow find out. A developer who looks for a job, gets offer but decide to stay is better than who lost his/her/xir fire.

Looking through some code from a new project at my old job.

It seems they are sending off some audio files from interviews into an online transcriptions-service, and putting the result unsanitized into a string-concatenated INSERT-statement into the db.

I look forward to the demo, I’m going to yell “single quote Drop table users semicolon dash dash”

Late update to the party, but I’m temporarily occupying the newly decorated living room while my room / office is being prepared for a swish new look.

Obligatory code included.

Wondering why I haven't received deposit for new job yet. Check for signed quote and contract... Yep, both there. Look I account program to see when I sent invoice.....

I haven't sent it yet!
I'm a dick!

Goals for 2018

Finish all my udemy courses I purchased back in 2016 and never watched

Learn to write tests for all my work

Figure out the shitty api in Drupal 8

Redesign my apps so they look pretty and make me more money.

Learn to Automate my app feeds

Redesign my company website to look more professional

Sell my townhouse

Start running again

Loose weight

Be a better husband and father.

Learn new tech and make something fucking awesome!

Go to tech Meetups

Hang around smart people and learn to be a better coder.

Battle my demons and autism.

Once had a manager who would say things like "you're odd" and didn't have the decency, and was paid double. Some people just step on others to make themselves look 'taller'. Had to leave that negative space immediately. Got a 40% pay rise at new company. Win!

For this new project I'm looking into a neural network the same way neuroscientists look into brain and ngl, it's so fucking cool.

Maslow's hammer is my new favourite quote.

Ad-libbing - when one only knows how to use a hammer, a lot of his problems start to look like Nails.

This is so true

If you're a reasonably established dev and looking for a new role, never.. EVER make your CV public on a job board! I put it up for one day, ONE DAY and yesterday I had 42 phone calls, 15 voice messages and about 25 emails. How is anyone supposed to choose a meaningful, suited opportunity in all that! Information overload! And then trying to sort out times for someone you are interested in to phone you and picking up the phone at that time to accidental answer the phone to someone else (a new agent who has some excellent job roles for you!). Fuck this. Immediately took it down and hoping to look and apply to some myself that I like the look of. Don't do it man, unless you're a junior and it can be quite humbling how agency led it is, look for the right job yourself and apply individually! I have been on edge the last few days, especially where I haven't told my current place I am looking yet!

12:55 AM, Subject gets and decides to look at crude oil chart.
1:05 AM, At it.
1:10 AM, Subject decides to check the temperature, using laptop screen in dark.
1:12 AM, Does a wild aerobic move to save flying laptop.
1:13 AM, Finds out that screen is gone.
1:23 AM, Orders new screen.
1:26 AM, Types this rant.

"Hey, our client proposed a new feature, can you take a look at it?"

Hi. I'm new here and liking it.
My rant today: Lofty business guy tells my small dev team that he knows exactly how everything should look and work because he knows exactly what users want out of the webapp experience.... goes on to tell us to make an editable, side-scrolling table that is also mobile-friendly, for users to manually input a ton of data....

Deepin's new appearance is Godawfully ugly.
Plus it has issues now reading password. Plus I can't fucking opt out of their "user experience program" for any fucking reason.
Great! Just fucking great!

Where do I migrate to from here? 😡😠😡

When you join a new project, look at the git log, and all the commits say 'initial-commit'... 😭

Learn nodejs, love it, abandon it coz most jobs in the country want php and none heard about the new js frameworks.

1 year later, decide to change job, look at posting to find senior php position, all companies want node, angular, react & vue...

Got a new motherboard today, a Asus crosshair vi hero, AM4 for amd ryzen.

Bought is as broken / defective, it supposedly works except 2 ram slots should not get detected.

On a closer look, the story of water-damage didn't seem right.

Disassembled everything and took another look.

😲😨 "Is that solder tin? What the actual fuck?"

*Scratche it with tweezers

*"Supposed solder tin" becomes liquid and moves

😱 "The fuck that's liquid metal"
😵 Who the fuck sprinkles liquid metal all over a board?
😳Ryzen is solderd why the fuck should someone use liquid metal?

What the heck

Hi everyone I'm new there =)
Basically i'm just here for the stickers.

But this look like a really fun place to be as a dev, so i'm maybe going to stay a while ;)

anyway have a great day, you can resolve this bug !

So my friend told me that he recommended me to be a new Creative Engineer.
-Oh shit, sweet, what are the requirements?
-I don't really understand that kind of stuff man, just look it up, here' the link
*Hmmm*

-Html,
*ok*
-Css,
*mhmm*
-Javascript
*sure*
etc etc...
and,
Actionscript
...
Excuse me?

Who the FUCK use actionscript nowadays ???

CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG.

Didn't server industry and technology get a little.. stale?

I mean, just look at similar industries
For example - mobile phones, they are everywhere now and each year we get new technology, the new big thing and whatnot.

Other example - gaming, VR came up moderately recently to a usable state, we got a great influx of flexible languages like C#, Java etc.
New engines to build games on top of, new graphical apis like Vulkan and whatnot.

..and Servers? It feels like the last big thing (and makes me feel like the only one) was Cloud Storage.

wdyt?

It's time to look for new job thinking of doing freelancing

MRW I start my new job and look at the code that the last developer left

Curious. What's your definition of a full stack developer?

Is it just about knowing all necessary languages? Does it also include various business oriented soft-skills? What about handling server and stuffs?

It is a new term I have been seeing a lot lately (especially after 2016, if I'm not wrong). Of course, I could google and look for the answers but I prefer to know devrant community edition 😀

New normal. New app to build.

- Still have to maintain older systems in parallel
- That leaves 1 week for developing the new app
- Slept 2 hours a day, coding coding coding
- Tested the shit out of the app because.. hey, its to help the customers' safety and health... I don't mind staying up late
- Finished the app in 5 days, code is now on prod
- Could barely look myself at the mirror because I look like shit
- Btw the app requires an external device as an input, the existing device works flawlessly based on my testing
- We need more devices
- Clueless manager bought new model instead. He assumed everything is fine, no testing is required
- Tested the app with new device model, doesn't work
- Deadline closing in
- Thanks, there goes my sleep
- THANK YOU

Look at the picture. I know what you're thinking...

Believe me.
* I executed save all in VisualStudio
* reset all changes in git
* cleaned working directory with git
* restarted VisualStudio
* double checked if it's the right file
* double checked if there are new changes in git

Fuck this. VisualStudio, you suck.
Where are you taking these informations from if not from the project file!?

Let's say *poof* Google is banned from the internet and it's 10years later how would the internet look would it be existing services or do you think new ones would arrive.

Having that teacher that just laughs at you and makes you look like an inferior piece of sh*t just cuz you ask a question in CS class..
Any question for that matter
And of course he is the head of department...

And with that: hi guys, i'm new, seems like a lot of fun here :D

Why do I have a hard time finding a new job when senior devs are not only changing the data model, but naming keys "key" and "value"!?
"Oh look, a SQL error."

Busy debugging look up to see this..... Need new pants

Everybody keeps complaining about people who center content (expecially in websites) not appropriately.

So I'm just watching the WWDC 2018 (never watched one before and don't own any iDevice) and see the new aproach on Apple News.

So, "centering is ugly" is out and instead "gorgeous".

Have to admit, that this does indeed look nice. Just funny when centering content often embodies bad design choices.

After updating my firefox to 57.0, I am relieved to see the new look. Quantum is the best.

Still not sure about this new guy, not trying to be rude but everytime we're talking about code he says shit that makes me wonder how he got hired. (btw he is hanging with the IT department all the time) He's a very nice guy, but talks massive shit when it comes to bugs/new features/etc.

Should I have a look at his pc to see what he's doing when in office or is it none of my business. Help me out here, I'm really curious but don't care if he's a fake at the same time lol.

We got new workstations today and the following happened:

Me: We got your new workstation but your screen doesn't have the right input to use it, so we'll exchange it too.

Her: No! I love that monitor!

Me: Well you won't be able to use the computer if you don't wanna change it.

Her: There has to be a different way!

Me: Okay I'm going to get some adapters and we'll try again.

After literally 30 minutes of searching I finally made it work.

VGA->DVI->HDMI->DisplayPort

That just felt so wrong.

Me: So it works now

Her: Thanks but why does it look so bad?

Me: It's because of the old monitor.

Her: Oh... *10 seconds silence* Then I'll get a new one.

public const bool DEBUG_THAT_SHIT = ConfigurationManager.ParseBool("debugThatShit");

public const bool DEBUG_THAT_OTHER_SHIT = ConfigurationManager.ParseBool("debugThatOtherShit");

public bool iMadeANewFeature = ConfigurationManager.ParseBool("newFeature")?true:false;

Fucking new guy, can you not fucking read the other constants and make them look the same? Apparently not and I am the asshole.

Alright let's get real and finish this module
* 5 mins later *
Ooh look, a new js framework. I wonder what does this do hmm..

How do gophers (Go devs) feel about the new Go logo ?

I can get used to it but it feels more like a logo of a company that might rival Uber.
The gopher gave it an easy to use and understand feel, this new one gives a fast and sleek look. It wants to showcase "Fast" more than anything else.

Look at my new toys 😁
I really look forward to play with these beacons! I want to use them in my wedding app. I will place two at the church and two at the party location, one for iBeacon and one for Eddystone, and the guests will get a message on arrival and departure.
Unfortunately I already broke the case of one 😅
Have any of you other good ideas I can use them for?

When you start at a new company, look at extremely complex code and ask yourself every second line: What the hell? Have I ever wrote code before?

Just a small discussion topic, if you could look through the source code ad have full access to 1 project/application/game/moon base forever, what would you choose and why?

For me, I would love to go through the source code for the game Hyper Light Drifter, would love to see some of the inner workings and just learn new methods of doing things.

hello guys u guyz look awesome
I am new here also I am new for all this stuff as I recently completed my 12th
I love coding and I want to make my career in this field.
I hope u guyz would help :)

Just got the first invoice from my new flat. Who the hell writes invoices in comic sans and why? Well, I know who now. But why? So it wouldn't look so serious? But there is only few things that are more serious than invoice! Invitation to funeral im comic sans will look even weirder, but still...

someone on discord asked me "why do you code for such shit computers? they can't even play games and you can only do one thing at a time, just program for new computers"

because if i'm gonna suffer in the name of curiosity i'm gonna make shit for other people to look at thx

back to suffering from a 1KB RAM limit

21 hours before the big release:

"Oh, hey, we just got 'round to taking a look at the new version and we've got a whole list of stuff we need to change."

New hire and haven't did anything other then look at the code base. How long did it take until you actually start contributing code at your first job?

Using the new project as an excuse to try out the language I was an absolute newbie at. (Python, at the time).

A couple years later when I’m much more proficient and I go back and look at that code, I want to slap past me for putting that spaghetti mess into production.

It's been 1 week since I started my first Job. Currently I am given task to do bug fixes on WordPress. In 1 week time I am already under extreme pressure. Today is Friday and I need to look at 3 different projects. Plus on top of this I am new to WordPress. I sometimes go home and continue the work to meet the strict deadline. God this is hard!!

Hey everyone, today i got the very good surprise to receive a package i was waiting a little late but I'm happy to show you my new keyboard! (Christmas gift) aaaaaaaaah, it's look very nice, it feel perfect (tried few sentences), and got few features. (weather shown... But there is a project progression tracker), let's try!

I'm new in the programming world; when I need to learn something new I generally look at documentation and articles to get an understanding of the basics.
Then, if it's still interesting to me, I just try it out.

Sometimes I might ask a fellow more experienced programmer or a teacher to explain it to me.

when my boss gives new customers a tour of the company i quickly open hackertyper.com to look extremly productive and talented.

need some advice

i resigned from my job today , it was my first job worked 2 years here.
i kinda wanted to rest a month or two is it a good decision or i should look for new one immediately

Swapped workplaces as the previous one wanted to get rid of me, the new one so far feels even worse.

Teammates are too busy to help, codebase makes spaghetti code look like a compliment (and it takes forever to compile) and my manager somehow believes I’m super man, supposed to finish everything faster than speed of light.

I’m miserable.

*opens up any form of internet page*

Oh look... Another group of people using memojis as their profile picture complaining about slacks new logo and touting their own design...

*Opens up another page*

Oh look same fucking thing

*Closes browser and opens letter to reveal random slack logo*

Can everyone just shit the fuck up about the new logo... Please...

Unpopular opinion: I like the look of new Mac Pro

Fight me

Before starting the project team lead told me this is the page of apidoc which will be updated after each new service call so that the communication is clear and i know the parameter of each api call well to use them.

1 month passed and no new service call appeared so i got curious and took a look at his code. He has created 8 f****g nrw calls but did not update the docs.

I have working on a new website for a client that interfaces with their internal systems, meaning we must collect the data fields required by the client. A look over the designs reveals such huge inconsistencies in the data input that we may as well not have bothered designing it.

I'm currently interviewing, but I'm so exhausted that I am seriously considering to quit without having a new job. When I look at that legacy mess and try to make sense of it, my monkey brain just says "no".

wow, the new devrant just scared the shit out of me for a second.(Web version).
anyways its nice to see devrant like this :)

New update available on your phone...

Wait people to teste it before installing. It look stable, ok i will install it

After the update

Fucking shit the clock is on the left side 🤮 what the fuck is this shit android... The settings menu is now a ducking mess. The finger print scan is so slow i can cooke an egg before he unlock the phone. The multi tasking screen is like iphone and look like a garbedge. Some applications rushing running.

I just blew up at my boss again.... I'm doing something and then he asks about including a new feature and figure out if it's doable. A quick question is ok but an analysis of a new feature.... NOT WHEN I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF RESOLVING A MORE IMMEDIATE ISSUE.

OPEN A FUCKING JIRA, SEND ME AN EMAIL, AND I'LL TAKE A LOOK ONCE I'M DONE WITH WHATEVER I M DOING.

Started new job and they say...yeah we like to refrain from using third party code...look in source code and half the code is using third party plugins...so does that mean they are starting this logic today??? *confused*

Joined a new workplace. Lead wants me to research on the available list of certain frameworks.

But they have already built a couple of services using certain frameworks and they don't seem to be having any issues with them.

I asked why look for new ones when you already have stuff that work for you and they're like "It's working - is not a reason to not look for new ones".

I mean WTF? Isn't "Don't try to fix things that are not broken" literally the point?

Customer asks us to add an exception report to a file upload process, to show which users failed to be added, and why.

File has 4 fields per record: id, first name, last name, and email.

Customer: "some of these records aren't uploading, and when I look at the new report, it says 'email required' for those users. I don't understand. Does that mean they can't be uploaded without an email?"

I like Amazon's new look.