Told my gf I wanted a coding buddy so she won me this during the hackathon 😀

When you talk to other devs about what their code did. I also relate myself to this.

Thanks buddy!

Non-dev buddy: Dude I'm gonna report you to the tech department what are you hacking??
Me:

dude: hey could you hand me a patch cable ?

me: how long?

dude: as short as possible

me: sure buddy

😂😂

I asked my programmer buddy if her baby was a boy or a girl. She said "yes".

“It’s okay, you can go, the pain will be over soon, thanks for everything, I love you”

I never thought saying these words to my cat would be so hard.

I’ll miss you.

Few months ago I made an app for my buddy. Because it was simple soundboard app (it literally took me 15 minutes) I haven’t took any money. He said it’s for personal use only...

So he released it under his name on Google Play Store... And now he asks me to add advertisements... For free... When I asked him what can I get from it, he said “you can add your name to Credits”

That’s how you loose trust and buddies!

If it wasn't for coding I wouldn't have met my boyfriend. 😊

We started working at the same place and position with 2 weeks apart, and quite quickly we turned into best coding buddies which eventually turned into more!

2,5 yrs later we no longer work together in the same company, but we do live together and code together on side projects at home ☺️

A buddy of mine left his sudo user unlocked... I had to troll...

Finally got my new coding buddy! Gilfoyle will hopefully help me to straighten up my miserable code. Praise the dark lord 😀

My new debbuging buddy :D

Found out where the Amazon Developers keep their debug buddy.... bottom of their source code.
A duck that makes a meow noise.
Interesting choice

My new coding buddy is coming home October 11.

When your drinking buddy is an AI by Google

I kid you not, it's been impossible to find a rubber duck, so I had to make my own. Yes, his head is wonky, it's intentional, I wanted him to match me 😁

Friend: You make games right?

Me: Yea I try to atleast, why?

Friend: I have this cool idea for an MMORPG with fantasy elements and dragons and stuff!

Me: Well thats a lot of work, just setting up serv-

Friend: We can have a bunch of cool stuff like Sandbox stuff, Guild battles and 100v100 pvp

Me: As I was trying to say, it would requi-

Friend: OH We need space for atleast 10 thousand people on each server!

Me: ... Good luck buddy!

That co-worker that erases all of your changes if there's a merge conflict.
Fuck you too buddy.

So, I saw you guys sharing your coding buddies, here's mine

(Banana for scale [old 9gag habit])

My programming buddy! 😉

Buddy: Who the fuck is this Ruby bitch and why is she on rails?

Friend: So you're like a Developer right? Specifically using JavaScript?

Me: I mean...kinda? Pretty Noobish still...

Friend: But you could like show a buddy of mine some basics right?

Me (thinking to myself...the best way to test your knowledge is to teach it...): well...sure...

Friend: Great here is their info!

*Drives an hour away*
*sits down with this friend of a friend*
*busts out laptop*

Friend of friend: So how long have you been a Java Developer?

Me: -_- oh fuck...

*head desk*

Stayed up late enough last night that the cat decided to go to bed without me. 😭

Meet Harry Ponder, my magical debugging buddy

Awesome gift from my girlfriend #2

Programming buddies: Say what again!!!

When you escape outside from everybody, and the nature gives you its best debugging buddy!

Sorry for the quality, it was dark and that's the best I could do with it.

It scared the shit out of me at first :D

Goodbye to programmers best friend. He was the best dog, the best listener, a great pair programmer, and someone to keep my lap warm while I work. And more than all of that, even though he was a dog...he was my friend. Goodnight buddy. I hope I see you on the other side.

Here is my debugging buddy. Checks my code, and lands on the part of the screen where the error is. I'll feel bad when I kill him

My new buddy;
ThinkPad Helix

This mother fucker right here.

Today I was asked as a favor by one of our vendors to assist one of their other customers with an API integration issue. We work very closely with this vendor and help beta their products etc.

I'm helping as a favor. And this guy could not be more of a dick. Constantly throwing his 20ys of experience at me and saying the API is broken. A good portion of my job is API integration so I've seen 30+ platforms all done differently and this one in question is by far the simplest.

Where does this chodemuffin get off being a dick to me? You know what buddy. Eat a dick. Figure it out yourself.

I expected Python to be fun, but not THIS fun!

I'm gonna stick around you, buddy. We're going to accomplish great things together.

When I was at my lowest, my buddy and me sat in front of the screen, and learned how to code from Bucky Roberts. A few years later, I finally got a proper programming gig, but never stopped freelancing. My buddy on the other hand, studied Computer Science and stopped coding for a while after graduating. 5 years later, today we sat in front of the screen and learned how to code together again. I think he has no idea what he has led me to. If he had not made me code, I would have remained the same boy from the streets. But it is not about me, I have heard so many incredible stories. The more codes you write, the more errors you'll encounter. The more errors you try to solve, the bigger the community grows. It's nice to know, there is a group of people out there, who will spend rest of their lives writing, thinking and interacting. Also, trying to figure out how to centre that piece of shit of a div with CSS! I mean wtf!

The coding buddy thread, pet edition.

!rant

Decided to get myself a (rubber)ducking buddy.
Say hello to Buck.

Users: “It’d be nice if notifications were all pretty and organized...”

Android: “You got that, buddy!”

iOS:

Inspired by some other devrantter. I finally got myself a debugging buddy. It's been a month since I bought it and I can't wait to see it growing even bigger!

I spend hours trying to find my bugs. My buddy spends ten minutes and finds it like it's nothing.

My new coding buddy, inspector quackers

My new coding buddy :D Hes been sitting there for 10 minutes.

Ok, buddy, ok. Do you take part in "Gorilla" warfare as well?

Programmer's Heaven

My new coding buddy!

Buddy from dept I was in 4 years ago: Check your email.
Me: OK
10 mins later
Buddy: Can you join a webex now?
Me: No
Buddy: OK, I'll forward the details, join when you can.
Me: Could you give me a little context?
Buddy: You helped them pull a cert off a USB stick in Switzerland last year (I'm in US).
Me: Don't think I did.

When I get a chance to read email chain, half of it is in German (I don't read it). Have not idea what this is about, but there seems to be a newer one that says it was resolved.

Me to Buddy: Looks like it was resolved.
Buddy: Yes, but they're still mad at you.
Me: Why?
Buddy: Because you wrote that app and it's hard to update the certs.
Me: I wrote that app as a favor, the dev they hired spent 6 months rewriting 3 SQL queries before being fired.
Buddy: LOL, well I guess they don't like the cert part.
Me: OK, but when I turned it over to them it didn't have a cert at all, I have no idea what the feature is.
Buddy: They said you help them last year.
Me: I didn't.
Buddy: Well they still think it's all your fault.

Coding buddy 🐱 he helps me debug

This little buddy is getting a lot attention these days 🤓

My boyfriend, actually. But I value the human aspect more than the tech genius in fairness. He may be no Linus Torvalds but I don't care and wouldn't change him.

Why him?

He's very kind to less experienced developers and always happy to help them. He teaches them not only how to solve things but how to get un-stuck the next time and what to learn.
His code reviews are inside out, not just a quick scan, he gives a chance to learn and takes one for himself too.
He takes pride in delivering great quality, well thought over code, on time.
He owns his mistakes and isn't afraid to admit when he makes them.
He reads a ton of tech books and always learns something new yet stays humble while discussing things he knows a lot about.
He has a ton of hobbies other than coding which he's good at.

Ah there, yeah whatever I'm a big softie today 😋 he's not on DevRant btw. Also sometimes I want to punch him too, but mainly he's a good guy :)

After 2 weeks of node, I go back to my buddy python. Write some code. Get tons of errors.

This is what I did at at least 10 places. 😔😑

My very first rant. I will try to make it count!

Recently my company had restructured with new GM who fired those who he didn't like and hired those who he did.

All ok I guess. And then...

We did a project for a big sportswear brand, interactive installation using WebSocket. My team developed the server with game engine and we also developed "shell front-end" with example code how to connect and interact with server.

Then we realized that our company was actually not hired by sportswear brand, rather by GM buddy-from-the-army tech vendor, who was hired by actual client.

Then, we also realized there is another company, that GM hired as freelancers, sitting at our office doing 'something'. And this 'other company' actually has same employees and address as GM's buddy company (meaning they are one entity with two names).

So.. what happened is that we get paid by party A, then we pay exactly the same amount to party B (which is actually same party A), and at the end... all our work was for free.

And then, this GM tells me I have to fire 2 developers from my team because we don't have enough business.

How did this guy even get to a position of this level?

As a frontend dev, i love watching our backend devs sometimes go like "hey come on it's just css I can do it real quick, let me do it this time" and get super frustrated with failure. Buddy, one of the reasons frontend is not so easy is that it can be real fucking annoying. I'm keeping my distance and respect for your side so stay the fuck away from my dance floor.

Just wanted to say that I miss you buddy

Have a look at my new coding buddy and all its awesomeness!

My cat volunteered to be my debugging buddy tonight!

I printed this little buddy...

With all the people showing off their setup and input devices i thought it's time to show you my keyboard...

Key features:
- mechanical keys
- sturdy af; best for ranting (survived more angry fist strokes than any device should ever receive)
- older than me and outlived 5 (!) mice
- awesome retro look
- would beat a nokia in hunger games
- best code buddy ever (and propably oldest, too)

Hope i'll be able to continue coding on it another 20 years... Someday i may gift it to my grandchildren.

!=Rant

This is Wilson, my codding buddy.

My new buddy!

Tfw everyone uses a cute duck or little animal as a debugging buddy, and then there's me...
I like this one tho. :)

Me and my buddy sysadmin wondered how to get the fastest response from a client that was otherwise slow to respond over email. We needed to test their new email server.
So... we figured, hey... sars is spreading globally, let's use that.
The email went like "Critical warning! Your computer got infected with sars. Contact your sysadmins immediately.'
...
...
...
...
So she did. Success! Email server working fine. Tested in less then 5min, some sort of a record.

ROTFL trying to keep a straight voice over the phone with tears in our eyes.

Priceless experience for all involved. Interestingly, the client was cool enough to accept this as a harmless prank. Thank god for that.

Buddy just hit me up on Snapchat after one of his code reviews

Mah code toad. He glares at me when I do shameless hacks.

I wish i have buddy to code with..

Am I late for the coding buddy trend ?

My buddy developer sitting beside me turns away for a discussion. I quickly grabbed his laptop, changed the IDE theme to dark and places it just like it was before.

It took him 15 mins to realize what I have done :P.

This is simple proof of how comfortable a dark theme is.

Email subject: Urgent need for developers!

Email body: We found you in our database, and think you're a match for this position! Requires 5+ years of C++ experience

Apparently C# == C++. Good luck finding an appropriate candidate, buddy. I was tempted to send them an email pointing out their error, but I'm not too good with "pointers"

Rubber duck is cool, but Pusheen is better!

Since everybody posted their buddys mine also wantend to be in a rant ^^

$ npm audit

> found 19 vulnerabilities (10 low, 5 moderate, 3 high, 1 critical)

$ npm audit fix

> fixed 0 of 19 vulnerabilities in 11987 scanned packages

> (use `npm audit fix --force` to install breaking changes; or do it by hand)

$ npm audit fix --force

> npm WARN using --force I sure hope you know what you are doing.

Me too, buddy. Me too.

Not a devDuck or a stress ball but here is my debugging buddy: a silicone mochi pig :3

Pm: '[...] So when will you set up the server its urgent'

Me: 'look buddy i applied here as a java dev, ended up doing fronted. Fine, i like js, i can do that. But then dont fucking ping me daily with server stuff what has been overcomplicated and i got no idea about, theres a backend team, ask them.'

Pm: 'you said you would do the frontend'

Me: 'yeah that doesnt contradict a word i said'

Pm: 'you took responsibility, fix it'

Me: '?????? THATS WHAT IM SAYING YOU FUCKFACE COCKSUCKER ASSHOLE THAT I DIDNT AND I WONT, FUCK A HORSE'

Nature gave me a real life 🦆 debugging friend. He wasn't really helpful though. He flew away shortly after. Probably got a call from a more desperate dev.

I just discovered a local beer brewery called Crazy Duck. Now that's my kind of debugging buddy!
I'm buying some the moment I get back from vacation to test them on a legacy PHP project.

My debugging buddy 😁🦉

When you have so many projects you need your buddy to send you the good stuff all the way from America.

It has been more than a decade when I thought I lost this childhood buddy of mine, 'til when I found you like this. Why? :(

Merry Xmas little buddy

A huge congrats and thanks to trostik for being the first devRant user ever to hit 1,000 points! He has provided countless laughs through his awesome posts and memes and was one of the earliest devRant users. Cheers buddy 🍻 (real beers if you're ever in the U.S. or we're ever near you 😀)

... I'm so done... Our dog died last night, in the arms of my father... And the worst is, my little brother has seen everything and even tried a CPR on him... It's destroying me. Why is life so cruel? R. I. P. Buddy, we'll miss you 😢

Me: let's go learn ruby on rails
My cat: I don't think so buddy

1.) get a shit ton of music on your playlist (and listen while coding)
2.) don't give a shit about others preferences (use mac/Linux/windows ...; and the bestbest IDE is .... ). Use what you feel comfortable with
3.) Try to have a coding buddy
4.) take advices about coding style, structuring and other important things
5.) NEVER EVER STOP LEARNING

Oh for Fuck's sake buddy. What makes you think you are special?

Sweeeet! My buddy went to the Spring One conference in Washington D.C. and brought back stickers for me! 😍🤓🤤

Me: ssl conn cannot be esrablished. Cert is not signed

Sr. Dev/architect: what url are you calling?

Me: dns_name:port

sd/a: yeah, I know that. But what is the url?

Me: *how the f... Did you get 'sr' and 'arch' titles, man???*
Me: why does it matter?

Sd/a: certificates depend on a url. Our LB selects a cert according to a request url

me: *buddy, I like you but I no longer look at you with respect like I used to before today...*

!rant
In my Software Engineering II class, our teacher begins a overview of NoSQL DBs. A buddy of mine leans over and asks me "A SQL DB walks into a NoSQL bar, do you know why he left?"
I said, "No idea".
He said, "Because there were no tables".
Our teacher heard me laugh, so my buddy had to explain the joke to the entire class. Needless to say, the whole class got a kick out of it!

Here, picture of coding buddy

Ducks are overrated

I'm a diehard Apple fangirl, watch every keynote and have only ever had Macs (my parents are also diehard)

But I seriously envy the Android robot dude. He's so damn cute. Apple gotta get a better mascot I can keep on my desk.

Could you put a backdoor on the software so i can see what my employees are doing ? Don't worry I'll pay you more.

Yeahhhh buddy I'm out, give me my card back.

What the fuck im going back to my open source safespace.

Users: “Maybe I can just download these 3 PDFs in a single zipped file, that’d be nice.”

Android: “You got that buddy!”

Apple: “Animoji! 🐵”

Not a rant, quite the opposite. Look what my flatmate got me for my birthday today!
I finally have a debug buddy !!! 😄

My new debugging buddy!

Hey, I had a question. How social are you all IRL?

I'll explain myself. IRL, I don't talk to anyone unless they talk to me (which I don't seek) for example. And regarding friends, I've never had more than one "buddy" each school year, unconsciously dropping them once we weren't linked by school anymore. There is only two people I have kept throughout the years and that I'd call friends, one of them is my girlfriend.

That being said, I know I'm especially asocial, but I'm curious how everyone is here :)
We often hear "Computer people don't have many friends blabla" but I'm curious about that ^^

Just received my devrant swags. Finally i have a programmer buddy at home.

Thank you devrant!

Behold! Be amazed by my new debugging buddy!
(it is so squishy)

Say hi to my new code/debug buddy.
It'll help me to solve complex issues with his big brain.

Throwback to when some teenager tried to pay me and my buddy $10 (total, not each) to develop a custom forum website for his ArmaIII video game server, then got mad at me when I told him that's unreasonable

"And I'm already in trouble with my parents for offering you that much so you ought to appreciate it'

Lol ok.

!rant

He always comes to my desk when i begin to work, and lays there. So calm.

Found mobile debugger!

After zero contact for approx 4-5 years I get an Instagram message:

Old work buddy: Hello, I have a website question for you
Me: Ok
OWB: Hope you’re well, btw
Me: *hmmmmm*
OWB: basically blah blah blah can’t get this part of this Wordpress theme to work
Me: I’ll have a quick look. Oh btw I have big news...
OWB: You up the duff?
Me: Yep!
OWB: Congrats...do you think you can help with the website?
Me: Probably not at the moment and it looks like a pig of a job to make the theme work properly.
OWB: *silence*

You fucking piece of crap of an idiotic client. What the fuck do you need to know more than “job will start upon signing the quote”? A fucking bouquet of flowers? And now you need a meeting to “improve communication between you and us”. Read the fucking emails, I’m not your fucking employee. “Why should we wait that we approve the ticket or whatever to get the job done?” BECAUSE YOU DON’T HAVE A FUCKING MAINTENANCE CONTRACT. I am not your buddy and I don’t fucking do favours. You want the job done? Either you accept the quote, or you accept the ticket request, or you subscribe to a fucking prepaid or flat maintenance contract. It’s simple as that you fucking elephant broken Asshole.

Fuck you and your fucking meeting requests.

We all have that one coding-buddy who we consult in case we are stuck...
We all have that one coding-buddy who knows nothing about coding

Dev slang

Me: Hey “Schatz” (german equivalent to “treasure”, “sweety”)
Schatz: Yes?
M: What R U doing?
S: Working on my page
M: Oh C (C for “Sí”, what is “Yes” in spanish)
S: && U?
M: null (nothing)

* several Simpsons memes later *

S: Schatzy (female schatz, me), (Want to go to Amy Winehouse tributte) == true
M: !C
S: Why?
M: Cuz I !like it
S: oh, && you.want2Go2TheCinema == true
M: !false
S: True ^_^
M: When?
S: I !know, Tomorrow at !morning?
M: !not cool
S: !hate you
M: Me !neither

Note: Schatz it’s also a dev (Php dev)

What do you think? Should we all promote a “developer slang”? Which phrases would you like to add?

Roommate: Filter it, would you please? (* Was talking about the tea*).

Me: Alright buddy, say no more. (*Names the signal that I was working on as "Tea".*)

(*Got the filtered output 😎*)

Me and buddy are learning some new stuff

Sheldon 'Spock' Cooper sits atop my monitor, assuming the role of my debugging buddy !!!

My new coding buddy

Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays, most of my family doesn’t understand why this was my favorite gift this year 😂😂😂

as every one showed their coding buddy, i had no chice but to reveal mine.
but dont be racist guys and dont judge him by his appearance, hes a little shy

When you're training a new guy who thinks hes better than you and completely overwrites all the code you've been working on because he thinks UX designed it wrong and it should look "correct". Thats not how corporate business works buddy...

at a previous job at a shit company ran by bible-thumpers, i was rebuilding the company website for my a-hole boss. I asked him where I should get images from- if there was a stock photo site he preferred or what.
"Just pull them off Google. That's what I do."

Later when I was combing through the site, I saw he'd added images that CLEARLY STATE another COMPANY'S NAME in the image themselves. Nothing like promoting another company on your OWN company website, huh?
(And no, their company name is not ActiveMobi.)

They're still there, 3+ years later. Dumb ass.

!rant
I'm an idiot. I freely admit this. I spent a solid 3 hours on a new endpoint in a WCF service, only to have it looked upon and told to fix it. I knew that the service I was calling didn't work like that. I did, I knew it. I didn't think about it while coding the endpoint, but I knew it. At least the changes only needed to happen in one file, and only took about 25 minutes with tests and all. But damn it, I knew better. I looked at my buddy, straight in the eye, and told him "Told you I was an idiot." He laughed, I laughed, the table laughed, we killed the table. It was a great time!

Overflow! .... Mr. Stack Overflow! Genius buddy!

Saturday/Me:."Sure buddy I'll make a website for your company"
Monday/Him: "talked with 10 venues today, told them we'd be live Friday. How's the project going?"
... my first Django project and I'm also looking for new jobs/in school

Today, My 2011 MacBook Pro stopped working. Got it when I was in 5th Grade and had it ever since. We've been in a lot of situations such as GPU Failure, Dead Speakers, Defective IO Shield, etc and it's my humble request to bless my Mac to recover. My warranty expired years ago and I am all on my own. Please recover my friend - Your true friend :(

Got my new coding buddy!!!

My new coding buddy
(It's difficult to take a picture, he's hyperactive)

That moment when you want to sleep and suddenly your brain says “hey buddy I know how to solve this one crazy bug you tried to solve the whole day”

03:00 fixed it
06:30 on my way to college
#Error404SleepNotFound

my buddy intern 😂😂

I spent 4 hours finding a good way to instanciate golang structures. Came up with a function that returned a value or pointer and I just kept reusing the nomenclature for an entire project. Then my buddy looks over and goes, "Ethan, you're a f****** idiot", and shows me the standard nomenclature. Now I have to refactor my entire project. FML.

(Edit: typo)

Fluffy

hey buddy mate pal friend bro nacho

IF YOU FINISH A TASK NOT ASSIGNED TO YOU THEN FUCKING ASSIGN IT TO YOURSELF SO WE DONT WAIT FOR SOMEONE TO DO WHAT YOUVE ALREADY DONE

Two coding buddies that do not combine well.

From a buddy:
A friend's comment on the latest merge conflict on the integration branch:
"O brachName! my branchName! our fearful sprint is done,
The build has failed with every merge, the goal we sought not won,
The release is near, the worst I fear, would Product be exulting?"

I have previously mentioned my weird co-worker. He likes to come up behind people and shoulder surf, asking "whatcha up to, buddy?".

He also thinks he's a manager, which explains a lot I guess. I half expect him to walk around with an " Initech" mug saying "Yeah....if you could just have those TPS reports done by lunch, that would be greaaat".

YOU ARE NOT MANAGEMENT. YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT I SPECIALIZE IN. GO FIX A PRINTER, GAH DAMMIT.

...and he mumbles.

I'm not perfect though, so I'm sure I have weird quirks about me.

While we're doing 'Meet my coding buddy'...

Need some more stickers for my buddy.

so few people have seen my 6 years java programming buddy. here's his newest python excel manipulating code and - naturally - inclusion of the allfunction - doNothing().

My new debug buddy, it's a Puffin! :)

I bet you all can't guess where I went this summer.

Not an actual teacher but definitely the guy who thought me the most: @java9

@java9 is a friend of mine who started the apprenticeship with me, but had serval years more of experience than I did.

At first he helped me get through the first complex tasks.

Luckily we are in the same class at professional school, and he helped me studying a lot.

Because of him I was able to develop my skills rather quickly.

Over the years our relationship developed into a close friendship.

Now we are working together as a team on more than side project and I've learned to love his perfectionism when it comes to code.

It's a pleasure to work with you @java9

Thanks for reading fellow ranter, here is a picture of us sharing a beer as a bonus

Me: Ah, just have to finish this one small feature today and this whole massive update is done. Everyone will be off my back, things will calm down. Gonna be great.

Life: hey man, you know what I was thinking? It’s been a really long time since you had one of those vomiting bugs ... you know the gut wrenching, massive headache, can’t do anything but stare at the walls kind of flu’s?

Me: ...... eh I’m ok thanks.

Life: oh buddy you don’t understand ...... RUN!!!

Finally got a call for an interview and they asked if I had any experience with front-end frameworks. I said yeah and they said that that's great since their client needs a UI/UX guy and said they'd get back to me in 2 days.

I got a call from the said client half an hour later who goes, "Hello! I am PersonX from CompanyA and we've got your resume and would like to hire you as a Laravel developer!"

Buddy... it says right there on the top that I'm a front-end developer and you were even checking out my LinkedIn... fuckin' fucktard.

Does this guy count as a rubber duck...?

Having a big legacy project written in good ol' vanilla PHP 5.4, running not in a server but in a desktop PC powered by a Celeron CPU.

Turns out that old buddy serves the tools everyone uses to work.

Say hi to the new buddy!!
Born today!! From boring mother and angry father!! YEEEeee...

For our office secret Santa one year I drew the boss's name. I don't know him very well as he's a pretty unsociable person, for the first six months of my employment was introduced to clients as the web developer's "little buddy." So I really wanted to do something passive agressive.

I spent a few days trying to find the best prank gifts. I landed on a glitter bomb. I filled a balloon with glitter, puffed just enough air in it so it fit in the box, and rigged it up with an x-acto blade inside which would pop the balloon when you open the top flaps.

It worked fantastically. The balloon popped, glitter went everywhere, the entire office was laughing except the boss. It was days before the glitter started to dissipate from his beard.

Finally got my own code buddy 😀 I call him Luke

Perfect buddy for Sticker Grumpy! :D

As a token of my commitment to devRant I bought a new phone so I can use the app. True -fucking- story... Goodbye old buddy #lumia930 (pi) (b)

Just lost my shit with a colleague which went for the Nth time "Oh MaN tHiS sCrIpT sUcKs So BaD".

Dude, I wrote the thing in 5 days, and back when I did I had no experience whatsoever with JS -or with programming at all, for that matter. It was pretty much my first project and I was as green as it can possibly get.

And yet, that script served us well for well over a year and a half without being touched once. It always worked for everything you could possibly want. Shut your mouth or do it yourself, buddy.

Me just now: After two whole days I'm finally able to scrape all the pokemon images from pokemondb and now I can start training my CNN.

Buddy: You know they have whole sets of pokemon images on kaggle all labeled ready to go

Me:

@Fast-Nop This one's for you, buddy. Took me all freaking day to figure out how to avoid unsafe-inline when registering a service worker. XD

Got a little coding buddy from my grandpa 🙃

Starting working on a Windows Universal version of DevRant for my windows buddy so he could enjoy the hilarity, and so I could have a native client on my desktop. Then I realized the API is read only. Sad day. @dfox any possibility of having a registration process or something for devs to post to the API?

I let my programming buddy comment all the code I write. He's great. His comments looks like this:
/*
I am groot!
*/

My day:

9 am: crack knuckles, ready to start day

9:01 am: oh, that PR I sent last week hasn't been reviewed yet and I need it in mainline. Better merge latest and get someone to look over it.

9:02 am: now the test suite is broken, better fix that up before getting it reviewed.

1 pm: phew, that was a slog. Now to get on with today actual programming

1:01 pm: "hey buddy, you coming to that tech leads strategy meeting?"

5 pm: Jesus what a meeting. Now maybe I can get a little code written. I'll just fast-forward to latest...

5:01 pm: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERES A BAD MIGRATION AND EVERYONE SHOULD AVOID USING THE LATEST VERSION WHY DIDN'T YOU REVERT THAT SHIT DO I NEED TO COME OVER THERE AND RESTRICT YOUR STUPID WINDPIPE UNTIL YOU UNDERSTAND GIT *RAGE TABLEFLIP*

My coding buddy. 3D printed gopher, got it from my colleague.

Web development:
I'm honestly happy that my toxic "senior" colleague is gone.
- Didnt learn a single thing in the last 10 years. Used godamn serverside rendering with Jquery / plain JS for a highly interactive business Web Application. Yeah boii, save that UI state in the relational database, good job.
- Every error in his shit was the error of someone else.
- Manipulative as hell. Type of guy that is your best buddy to gather information.
- Blocked entire technical progress in the Web department by manipulating people. Understandable. I mean if your legacy shit is gone...
- Kept backend developers from doing their job with unjustified complaints about structures... etc to justify that he needed an insane amount of time to implement simple things.
- Cried for every shit to be documented to the last bits. Did never do any documentation himself.

Fuck these people, honestly.

My new coding buddy. He will teach me his knowledge 😊

because of me and my startup I have convinced my buddy to become a programmer. love it!

THE PARADISE EXISTS.

This is how my Project Manager introduced Design guy to the client
"my buddy, great friend and a kickass coding ninja"

And how he introduced a full stack developer
"he knows coding too"

The fuck :||

Story from when game disks were in fashion
I asked my best buddy to burn a disk of GTA vice city so that I can install it on my desktop.
The next day when I receive the disk and insert it into my PC I almost fell of my chair laughing cause that douche bag had copied the icon from his desktop to the disk and burned it .
I almost fell laughing not because what he did , but because he did so when he was in his final year of his IT degree 🤣🤣🤣

My coding buddy. Dual purpose.

My coding buddy Gunther Tux the 3rd

What people don't get about drinking and coding is this.

Coding and development is very similar to art. You've to be creative in your solutions. You've withdraw all emotions and concentrate. And you've to find your own creativity.

You have drunk artists all the time, why not drunk coders?

I'd like to give a shoutout to the best tool I ever had when I worked in hardware and had to troubleshoot ethernet. The "RLFLTWKW". (The Really Long Fly Lead That We Know Works)

My friend that I worked with long ago just dug it out of a drawer and sent me a photo so we could remember the days when trying to figure out why Mavis couldn't get on the network anymore could be resolved by our faithful friend "TRLFLTWKW". I miss you buddy. You made life so much better.

I wish I had an equivalent to you for coding.

some guy recommended Replika app.
trying it now. so far, my first positive impression was with a thought "nice generic dodge, buddy"

I honestly owe everything to my buddy in our startup. He has taught me how to think in Javascript and that is why I am where I am. We fight almost everyday on almost everything, but there is Noone I respect more than I respect him..

- - Hey buddy, can you create a simple App for me to publish on the Play store?
- let me see first what features you need
- - **Spending 20 minutes talking about so many features and out of the box design**
- that's it?
- - yes that is it, it's​very simple I know it !
- so you think it's​ simple huh? so fo it yourself !...

Others have rubber duck, I got my own set of soldiers....

Found some coding buddies at the christmas market 😄

Rubber duck you say, that's cute.

The best feeling according to my buddy is when drawing a character and then taking a photo of it and the phone recognizes the head as a real face.

Made me wonder of some programming equivalent scenarios.

Like checking your website for the first time on validator.w3.org and seeing the `No errors or warnings to show.`

Or writing code in a plain text editor and it works on first try without any errors.

How about letting a coworker do something you really want to do and already thought heavily about, to later realize they did it exactly how you imagined it.

Or even as simple as getting your first assignment on a new job and totally nailing it.

Do you got any good examples of a similar "omg ftw" moment?

I just won this debugging buddy at a children's carnival. I must name him. I'm taking suggestions. The winning suggestion gets ++ on their 20 latest rants.

there is a window on the right side of my pc and a big ass fuckin spider web. there are some green stink bugs that piss me off a lot so whenever my code is broken and im pissed the fckk off i just look at my buddy web developer eating that fcking bug that got caught in the fking web and im not gonna do anything to help the bug go away fcck uu

My buddy is all ready. 🍺

I set up unRAID on my server this weekend, and only just checked my logs to see if anything weird was happening. Turns out 2 IPs have been trying to brute-force the SSH password all weekend. I quickly installed the DenyHosts plugin and reminded myself to always use a strong password, which luckily I did.

A bit later now, and one of the 2 gave up, the other one keeps trying but of course the connection is refused. Just keep trying buddy :P

Best programming buddies ever!

If you need someone to help you out: Superman

Dev1 : hey dude, I am not able to get the slider right like the one in the IMG they've created on WordPress, we need to show this to the client today. Can you help?

Dev2 (short for devil) :
*Tries*
*Sighs*
*Opens up expected screen slider IMG*
*Ctrl + Alt + Printscrn*
*opens Paint ---> crop --> save*
*Inside html, <img src="*above url">*

Done buddy, you owe me one.

My coding buddy😍😍

My new buddy 😊

Goosfraba mofo!!!!

“Temper’s the one thing you can’t get rid of, by losing it.” – Dr. Buddy Rydell

!dev

RIP grumpy cat. You were a great meme buddy

"I need a way to create PDFs from word documents"
"OK, here's Cute PDF, just print to it"
"Great, how does this work with my pdf letterhead?"
"Oh, well that's different, we'll need to create a word template with the letterhead pieces from the PDF. Here you go."
"OK, how do I merge the word documents generated by my fuckmess of a CRM software system?"
"You can copy and paste it, or we can purchase this software for you that should be able to do it"
"Why didn't you install that software first? You guys are useless"

Alright buddy, fuck you too. I'll be sure to automatically assume that even though your initial email is a full, complete request, that there's more behind it and read your mind through the email going forward.

Got a new friend on Christmas :D

Hey buddy pal mate, yeah, i get it, you a good frontend dude but if your page lags on my phone, im gonna just close it and never open it again, so dont you fucking use every possible overhead framework known to man.

exam time buddy.

Started about 4 years ago after losing my job in social work. Realized I liked computers more than talking to people. Picked up a beginning Java text book, and worked through it in a month. I moved over to web development to help a buddy of mine and kill time while unemployed.

Since then, I've run a small web dev business and am currently director of technology for a company with an international presence. I still code on the side an recently launched a new mobile app with a buddy of mine from grade school.

I do not miss social work even a little bit.

When a client asks you to make a form.... With 6 input fields and about 9 output fields.

Cheers buddy, I'll just make the rest up shall I?!?

FFS!

My deares coding buddy is a Toriel plushie, shes just sitting there silently, not judging me i love her.

Also i fucking hate c++ please end the pain.

*Opens IDE*

My brain: oh right! This is that thing that you do to try and convince yourself that coding something will make you feel good about yourself, one day buddy, one day...

Also me: welll... Thanks for the confidence brain *said as I pound down the sixth beer*

Meet my new coding buddy, Ivan The Pilot

My buddy told me Apple is Linux with nice drivers 😯