Told my gf I wanted a coding buddy so she won me this during the hackathon 😀

When you talk to other devs about what their code did. I also relate myself to this.

Thanks buddy!

Non-dev buddy: Dude I'm gonna report you to the tech department what are you hacking??
Me:

dude: hey could you hand me a patch cable ?

me: how long?

dude: as short as possible

me: sure buddy

😂😂

I asked my programmer buddy if her baby was a boy or a girl. She said "yes".

“It’s okay, you can go, the pain will be over soon, thanks for everything, I love you”

I never thought saying these words to my cat would be so hard.

I’ll miss you.

Few months ago I made an app for my buddy. Because it was simple soundboard app (it literally took me 15 minutes) I haven’t took any money. He said it’s for personal use only...

So he released it under his name on Google Play Store... And now he asks me to add advertisements... For free... When I asked him what can I get from it, he said “you can add your name to Credits”

That’s how you loose trust and buddies!

If it wasn't for coding I wouldn't have met my boyfriend. 😊

We started working at the same place and position with 2 weeks apart, and quite quickly we turned into best coding buddies which eventually turned into more!

2,5 yrs later we no longer work together in the same company, but we do live together and code together on side projects at home ☺️

A buddy of mine left his sudo user unlocked... I had to troll...

Finally got my new coding buddy! Gilfoyle will hopefully help me to straighten up my miserable code. Praise the dark lord 😀

Manager: Does anybody having any money saving ideas?

Dev: By switching our supplier from X to Y we could save $10,000/year and they have much better customer service.

Manager: So? I’m looking more for savings opportunities in the +$100k range. That’s a small idea, I’m looking for *BIG* ideas.

Dev: Do you have any big ideas?

Manager: No, but I really really want to save big money like that. I thought you would have something worthwhile.

Dev: $10,000 still a lot of money

Manager: I guess…. Ok we can do it. But don’t bother me with peanuts like this again.

Dev: ??? You asked me buddy

My new debbuging buddy :D

My new coding buddy is coming home October 11.

Found out where the Amazon Developers keep their debug buddy.... bottom of their source code.
A duck that makes a meow noise.
Interesting choice

When your drinking buddy is an AI by Google

I kid you not, it's been impossible to find a rubber duck, so I had to make my own. Yes, his head is wonky, it's intentional, I wanted him to match me 😁

Friend: You make games right?

Me: Yea I try to atleast, why?

Friend: I have this cool idea for an MMORPG with fantasy elements and dragons and stuff!

Me: Well thats a lot of work, just setting up serv-

Friend: We can have a bunch of cool stuff like Sandbox stuff, Guild battles and 100v100 pvp

Me: As I was trying to say, it would requi-

Friend: OH We need space for atleast 10 thousand people on each server!

Me: ... Good luck buddy!

So, I saw you guys sharing your coding buddies, here's mine

(Banana for scale [old 9gag habit])

That co-worker that erases all of your changes if there's a merge conflict.
Fuck you too buddy.

Friend: So you're like a Developer right? Specifically using JavaScript?

Me: I mean...kinda? Pretty Noobish still...

Friend: But you could like show a buddy of mine some basics right?

Me (thinking to myself...the best way to test your knowledge is to teach it...): well...sure...

Friend: Great here is their info!

*Drives an hour away*
*sits down with this friend of a friend*
*busts out laptop*

Friend of friend: So how long have you been a Java Developer?

Me: -_- oh fuck...

*head desk*

Buddy: Who the fuck is this Ruby bitch and why is she on rails?

My programming buddy! 😉

Awesome gift from my girlfriend #2

Meet Harry Ponder, my magical debugging buddy

Goodbye to programmers best friend. He was the best dog, the best listener, a great pair programmer, and someone to keep my lap warm while I work. And more than all of that, even though he was a dog...he was my friend. Goodnight buddy. I hope I see you on the other side.

Programming buddies: Say what again!!!

When you escape outside from everybody, and the nature gives you its best debugging buddy!

Sorry for the quality, it was dark and that's the best I could do with it.

It scared the shit out of me at first :D

Here is my debugging buddy. Checks my code, and lands on the part of the screen where the error is. I'll feel bad when I kill him

I expected Python to be fun, but not THIS fun!

I'm gonna stick around you, buddy. We're going to accomplish great things together.

When I was at my lowest, my buddy and me sat in front of the screen, and learned how to code from Bucky Roberts. A few years later, I finally got a proper programming gig, but never stopped freelancing. My buddy on the other hand, studied Computer Science and stopped coding for a while after graduating. 5 years later, today we sat in front of the screen and learned how to code together again. I think he has no idea what he has led me to. If he had not made me code, I would have remained the same boy from the streets. But it is not about me, I have heard so many incredible stories. The more codes you write, the more errors you'll encounter. The more errors you try to solve, the bigger the community grows. It's nice to know, there is a group of people out there, who will spend rest of their lives writing, thinking and interacting. Also, trying to figure out how to centre that piece of shit of a div with CSS! I mean wtf!

My new buddy;
ThinkPad Helix

!rant

Decided to get myself a (rubber)ducking buddy.
Say hello to Buck.

The coding buddy thread, pet edition.

Users: “It’d be nice if notifications were all pretty and organized...”

Android: “You got that, buddy!”

iOS:

Inspired by some other devrantter. I finally got myself a debugging buddy. It's been a month since I bought it and I can't wait to see it growing even bigger!

I spend hours trying to find my bugs. My buddy spends ten minutes and finds it like it's nothing.

Recruiter: hi, I have an iOS Developer role. Would you be interested?

Me: sure, send me on the spec.

Recruiter: ok great so for this Full stack app developer role we are looking for someone with:

- 5+ years embedded C/C++ experience
- 5+ years of working with Windows and Linux
- Native Android development
- As well as Native iOS experience

Interested?

Me: ......... ok buddy, you and me are going to have a little chat about what “iOS Developer” means

Ok, buddy, ok. Do you take part in "Gorilla" warfare as well?

My new coding buddy, inspector quackers

My new coding buddy!

Buddy from dept I was in 4 years ago: Check your email.
Me: OK
10 mins later
Buddy: Can you join a webex now?
Me: No
Buddy: OK, I'll forward the details, join when you can.
Me: Could you give me a little context?
Buddy: You helped them pull a cert off a USB stick in Switzerland last year (I'm in US).
Me: Don't think I did.

When I get a chance to read email chain, half of it is in German (I don't read it). Have not idea what this is about, but there seems to be a newer one that says it was resolved.

Me to Buddy: Looks like it was resolved.
Buddy: Yes, but they're still mad at you.
Me: Why?
Buddy: Because you wrote that app and it's hard to update the certs.
Me: I wrote that app as a favor, the dev they hired spent 6 months rewriting 3 SQL queries before being fired.
Buddy: LOL, well I guess they don't like the cert part.
Me: OK, but when I turned it over to them it didn't have a cert at all, I have no idea what the feature is.
Buddy: They said you help them last year.
Me: I didn't.
Buddy: Well they still think it's all your fault.

Programmer's Heaven

Coding buddy 🐱 he helps me debug

As a frontend dev, i love watching our backend devs sometimes go like "hey come on it's just css I can do it real quick, let me do it this time" and get super frustrated with failure. Buddy, one of the reasons frontend is not so easy is that it can be real fucking annoying. I'm keeping my distance and respect for your side so stay the fuck away from my dance floor.

This little buddy is getting a lot attention these days 🤓

My very first rant. I will try to make it count!

Recently my company had restructured with new GM who fired those who he didn't like and hired those who he did.

All ok I guess. And then...

We did a project for a big sportswear brand, interactive installation using WebSocket. My team developed the server with game engine and we also developed "shell front-end" with example code how to connect and interact with server.

Then we realized that our company was actually not hired by sportswear brand, rather by GM buddy-from-the-army tech vendor, who was hired by actual client.

Then, we also realized there is another company, that GM hired as freelancers, sitting at our office doing 'something'. And this 'other company' actually has same employees and address as GM's buddy company (meaning they are one entity with two names).

So.. what happened is that we get paid by party A, then we pay exactly the same amount to party B (which is actually same party A), and at the end... all our work was for free.

And then, this GM tells me I have to fire 2 developers from my team because we don't have enough business.

How did this guy even get to a position of this level?

My cat volunteered to be my debugging buddy tonight!

Just wanted to say that I miss you buddy

With all the people showing off their setup and input devices i thought it's time to show you my keyboard...

Key features:
- mechanical keys
- sturdy af; best for ranting (survived more angry fist strokes than any device should ever receive)
- older than me and outlived 5 (!) mice
- awesome retro look
- would beat a nokia in hunger games
- best code buddy ever (and propably oldest, too)

Hope i'll be able to continue coding on it another 20 years... Someday i may gift it to my grandchildren.

After 2 weeks of node, I go back to my buddy python. Write some code. Get tons of errors.

This is what I did at at least 10 places. 😔😑

My boyfriend, actually. But I value the human aspect more than the tech genius in fairness. He may be no Linus Torvalds but I don't care and wouldn't change him.

Why him?

He's very kind to less experienced developers and always happy to help them. He teaches them not only how to solve things but how to get un-stuck the next time and what to learn.
His code reviews are inside out, not just a quick scan, he gives a chance to learn and takes one for himself too.
He takes pride in delivering great quality, well thought over code, on time.
He owns his mistakes and isn't afraid to admit when he makes them.
He reads a ton of tech books and always learns something new yet stays humble while discussing things he knows a lot about.
He has a ton of hobbies other than coding which he's good at.

Ah there, yeah whatever I'm a big softie today 😋 he's not on DevRant btw. Also sometimes I want to punch him too, but mainly he's a good guy :)

!=Rant

This is Wilson, my codding buddy.

Have a look at my new coding buddy and all its awesomeness!

Tfw everyone uses a cute duck or little animal as a debugging buddy, and then there's me...
I like this one tho. :)

I printed this little buddy...

My new buddy!

Mah code toad. He glares at me when I do shameless hacks.

Buddy just hit me up on Snapchat after one of his code reviews

Rubber duck is cool, but Pusheen is better!

I wish i have buddy to code with..

My buddy developer sitting beside me turns away for a discussion. I quickly grabbed his laptop, changed the IDE theme to dark and places it just like it was before.

It took him 15 mins to realize what I have done :P.

This is simple proof of how comfortable a dark theme is.

$ npm audit

> found 19 vulnerabilities (10 low, 5 moderate, 3 high, 1 critical)

$ npm audit fix

> fixed 0 of 19 vulnerabilities in 11987 scanned packages

> (use `npm audit fix --force` to install breaking changes; or do it by hand)

$ npm audit fix --force

> npm WARN using --force I sure hope you know what you are doing.

Me too, buddy. Me too.

Since everybody posted their buddys mine also wantend to be in a rant ^^

Pm: '[...] So when will you set up the server its urgent'

Me: 'look buddy i applied here as a java dev, ended up doing fronted. Fine, i like js, i can do that. But then dont fucking ping me daily with server stuff what has been overcomplicated and i got no idea about, theres a backend team, ask them.'

Pm: 'you said you would do the frontend'

Me: 'yeah that doesnt contradict a word i said'

Pm: 'you took responsibility, fix it'

Me: '?????? THATS WHAT IM SAYING YOU FUCKFACE COCKSUCKER ASSHOLE THAT I DIDNT AND I WONT, FUCK A HORSE'

Am I late for the coding buddy trend ?

Not a devDuck or a stress ball but here is my debugging buddy: a silicone mochi pig :3

Email subject: Urgent need for developers!

Email body: We found you in our database, and think you're a match for this position! Requires 5+ years of C++ experience

Apparently C# == C++. Good luck finding an appropriate candidate, buddy. I was tempted to send them an email pointing out their error, but I'm not too good with "pointers"

I just discovered a local beer brewery called Crazy Duck. Now that's my kind of debugging buddy!
I'm buying some the moment I get back from vacation to test them on a legacy PHP project.

Nature gave me a real life 🦆 debugging friend. He wasn't really helpful though. He flew away shortly after. Probably got a call from a more desperate dev.

When you have so many projects you need your buddy to send you the good stuff all the way from America.

It has been more than a decade when I thought I lost this childhood buddy of mine, 'til when I found you like this. Why? :(

My debugging buddy 😁🦉

A huge congrats and thanks to trostik for being the first devRant user ever to hit 1,000 points! He has provided countless laughs through his awesome posts and memes and was one of the earliest devRant users. Cheers buddy 🍻 (real beers if you're ever in the U.S. or we're ever near you 😀)

Me: let's go learn ruby on rails
My cat: I don't think so buddy

... I'm so done... Our dog died last night, in the arms of my father... And the worst is, my little brother has seen everything and even tried a CPR on him... It's destroying me. Why is life so cruel? R. I. P. Buddy, we'll miss you 😢

Not exactly why I bought a split keyboard but ok, whatever works buddy.

!rant
In my Software Engineering II class, our teacher begins a overview of NoSQL DBs. A buddy of mine leans over and asks me "A SQL DB walks into a NoSQL bar, do you know why he left?"
I said, "No idea".
He said, "Because there were no tables".
Our teacher heard me laugh, so my buddy had to explain the joke to the entire class. Needless to say, the whole class got a kick out of it!

1.) get a shit ton of music on your playlist (and listen while coding)
2.) don't give a shit about others preferences (use mac/Linux/windows ...; and the bestbest IDE is .... ). Use what you feel comfortable with
3.) Try to have a coding buddy
4.) take advices about coding style, structuring and other important things
5.) NEVER EVER STOP LEARNING

Here, picture of coding buddy

Me: ssl conn cannot be esrablished. Cert is not signed

Sr. Dev/architect: what url are you calling?

Me: dns_name:port

sd/a: yeah, I know that. But what is the url?

Me: *how the f... Did you get 'sr' and 'arch' titles, man???*
Me: why does it matter?

Sd/a: certificates depend on a url. Our LB selects a cert according to a request url

me: *buddy, I like you but I no longer look at you with respect like I used to before today...*

Oh for Fuck's sake buddy. What makes you think you are special?

Sweeeet! My buddy went to the Spring One conference in Washington D.C. and brought back stickers for me! 😍🤓🤤

Could you put a backdoor on the software so i can see what my employees are doing ? Don't worry I'll pay you more.

Yeahhhh buddy I'm out, give me my card back.

What the fuck im going back to my open source safespace.

Users: “Maybe I can just download these 3 PDFs in a single zipped file, that’d be nice.”

Android: “You got that buddy!”

Apple: “Animoji! 🐵”

I'm a diehard Apple fangirl, watch every keynote and have only ever had Macs (my parents are also diehard)

But I seriously envy the Android robot dude. He's so damn cute. Apple gotta get a better mascot I can keep on my desk.

Hey, I had a question. How social are you all IRL?

I'll explain myself. IRL, I don't talk to anyone unless they talk to me (which I don't seek) for example. And regarding friends, I've never had more than one "buddy" each school year, unconsciously dropping them once we weren't linked by school anymore. There is only two people I have kept throughout the years and that I'd call friends, one of them is my girlfriend.

That being said, I know I'm especially asocial, but I'm curious how everyone is here :)
We often hear "Computer people don't have many friends blabla" but I'm curious about that ^^

Behold! Be amazed by my new debugging buddy!
(it is so squishy)

Just received my devrant swags. Finally i have a programmer buddy at home.

Thank you devrant!

My new debugging buddy!

!rant

He always comes to my desk when i begin to work, and lays there. So calm.

Not a rant, quite the opposite. Look what my flatmate got me for my birthday today!
I finally have a debug buddy !!! 😄

Found mobile debugger!

Throwback to when some teenager tried to pay me and my buddy $10 (total, not each) to develop a custom forum website for his ArmaIII video game server, then got mad at me when I told him that's unreasonable

"And I'm already in trouble with my parents for offering you that much so you ought to appreciate it'

Lol ok.

Say hi to my new code/debug buddy.
It'll help me to solve complex issues with his big brain.

We all have that one coding-buddy who we consult in case we are stuck...
We all have that one coding-buddy who knows nothing about coding

After zero contact for approx 4-5 years I get an Instagram message:

Old work buddy: Hello, I have a website question for you
Me: Ok
OWB: Hope you’re well, btw
Me: *hmmmmm*
OWB: basically blah blah blah can’t get this part of this Wordpress theme to work
Me: I’ll have a quick look. Oh btw I have big news...
OWB: You up the duff?
Me: Yep!
OWB: Congrats...do you think you can help with the website?
Me: Probably not at the moment and it looks like a pig of a job to make the theme work properly.
OWB: *silence*

Roommate: Filter it, would you please? (* Was talking about the tea*).

Me: Alright buddy, say no more. (*Names the signal that I was working on as "Tea".*)

(*Got the filtered output 😎*)

!rant
I'm an idiot. I freely admit this. I spent a solid 3 hours on a new endpoint in a WCF service, only to have it looked upon and told to fix it. I knew that the service I was calling didn't work like that. I did, I knew it. I didn't think about it while coding the endpoint, but I knew it. At least the changes only needed to happen in one file, and only took about 25 minutes with tests and all. But damn it, I knew better. I looked at my buddy, straight in the eye, and told him "Told you I was an idiot." He laughed, I laughed, the table laughed, we killed the table. It was a great time!

Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays, most of my family doesn’t understand why this was my favorite gift this year 😂😂😂

My new coding buddy

as every one showed their coding buddy, i had no chice but to reveal mine.
but dont be racist guys and dont judge him by his appearance, hes a little shy

Sheldon 'Spock' Cooper sits atop my monitor, assuming the role of my debugging buddy !!!

Overflow! .... Mr. Stack Overflow! Genius buddy!

Me and buddy are learning some new stuff

When you're training a new guy who thinks hes better than you and completely overwrites all the code you've been working on because he thinks UX designed it wrong and it should look "correct". Thats not how corporate business works buddy...

Saturday/Me:."Sure buddy I'll make a website for your company"
Monday/Him: "talked with 10 venues today, told them we'd be live Friday. How's the project going?"
... my first Django project and I'm also looking for new jobs/in school

That moment when you want to sleep and suddenly your brain says “hey buddy I know how to solve this one crazy bug you tried to solve the whole day”

03:00 fixed it
06:30 on my way to college
#Error404SleepNotFound

I spent 4 hours finding a good way to instanciate golang structures. Came up with a function that returned a value or pointer and I just kept reusing the nomenclature for an entire project. Then my buddy looks over and goes, "Ethan, you're a f****** idiot", and shows me the standard nomenclature. Now I have to refactor my entire project. FML.

(Edit: typo)

Fluffy

I have previously mentioned my weird co-worker. He likes to come up behind people and shoulder surf, asking "whatcha up to, buddy?".

He also thinks he's a manager, which explains a lot I guess. I half expect him to walk around with an " Initech" mug saying "Yeah....if you could just have those TPS reports done by lunch, that would be greaaat".

YOU ARE NOT MANAGEMENT. YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT I SPECIALIZE IN. GO FIX A PRINTER, GAH DAMMIT.

...and he mumbles.

I'm not perfect though, so I'm sure I have weird quirks about me.

While we're doing 'Meet my coding buddy'...

Got my new coding buddy!!!

Two coding buddies that do not combine well.

Me: Ah, just have to finish this one small feature today and this whole massive update is done. Everyone will be off my back, things will calm down. Gonna be great.

Life: hey man, you know what I was thinking? It’s been a really long time since you had one of those vomiting bugs ... you know the gut wrenching, massive headache, can’t do anything but stare at the walls kind of flu’s?

Me: ...... eh I’m ok thanks.

Life: oh buddy you don’t understand ...... RUN!!!

Need some more stickers for my buddy.

Finally got a call for an interview and they asked if I had any experience with front-end frameworks. I said yeah and they said that that's great since their client needs a UI/UX guy and said they'd get back to me in 2 days.

I got a call from the said client half an hour later who goes, "Hello! I am PersonX from CompanyA and we've got your resume and would like to hire you as a Laravel developer!"

Buddy... it says right there on the top that I'm a front-end developer and you were even checking out my LinkedIn... fuckin' fucktard.

Does this guy count as a rubber duck...?

My new debug buddy, it's a Puffin! :)

I bet you all can't guess where I went this summer.

hey buddy mate pal friend bro nacho

IF YOU FINISH A TASK NOT ASSIGNED TO YOU THEN FUCKING ASSIGN IT TO YOURSELF SO WE DONT WAIT FOR SOMEONE TO DO WHAT YOUVE ALREADY DONE

my buddy intern 😂😂

@OmerFlame wanted to see more of Soviet pirate stuff, so there you go buddy. This is an example of Samizdat (“self-publishing”) — Soviet people made books of dissident literature that was forbidden in the Soviet Union.

This very book was made by my grandma, with lace fabric cover and sheets cut evenly with care and precision. Everything was typed on a typewriter, yes, the thing that renders the whole page useless with one mistype, as there is no backspace key.

This book dated 1975, the poetry of Nikolay Gumilyov.

Not an actual teacher but definitely the guy who thought me the most: @java9

@java9 is a friend of mine who started the apprenticeship with me, but had serval years more of experience than I did.

At first he helped me get through the first complex tasks.

Luckily we are in the same class at professional school, and he helped me studying a lot.

Because of him I was able to develop my skills rather quickly.

Over the years our relationship developed into a close friendship.

Now we are working together as a team on more than side project and I've learned to love his perfectionism when it comes to code.

It's a pleasure to work with you @java9

Thanks for reading fellow ranter, here is a picture of us sharing a beer as a bonus

Perfect buddy for Sticker Grumpy! :D

so few people have seen my 6 years java programming buddy. here's his newest python excel manipulating code and - naturally - inclusion of the allfunction - doNothing().

From a buddy:
A friend's comment on the latest merge conflict on the integration branch:
"O brachName! my branchName! our fearful sprint is done,
The build has failed with every merge, the goal we sought not won,
The release is near, the worst I fear, would Product be exulting?"

Say hi to the new buddy!!
Born today!! From boring mother and angry father!! YEEEeee...

> turning the whole codebase into a muddy ball of dirt because the leader didn't like 1 (one) call to an async function on startup

Way to go buddy, you sure show them how it's done.

Finally got my own code buddy 😀 I call him Luke

Having a big legacy project written in good ol' vanilla PHP 5.4, running not in a server but in a desktop PC powered by a Celeron CPU.

Turns out that old buddy serves the tools everyone uses to work.

As a token of my commitment to devRant I bought a new phone so I can use the app. True -fucking- story... Goodbye old buddy #lumia930 (pi) (b)

Starting working on a Windows Universal version of DevRant for my windows buddy so he could enjoy the hilarity, and so I could have a native client on my desktop. Then I realized the API is read only. Sad day. @dfox any possibility of having a registration process or something for devs to post to the API?

Just lost my shit with a colleague which went for the Nth time "Oh MaN tHiS sCrIpT sUcKs So BaD".

Dude, I wrote the thing in 5 days, and back when I did I had no experience whatsoever with JS -or with programming at all, for that matter. It was pretty much my first project and I was as green as it can possibly get.

And yet, that script served us well for well over a year and a half without being touched once. It always worked for everything you could possibly want. Shut your mouth or do it yourself, buddy.

@Fast-Nop This one's for you, buddy. Took me all freaking day to figure out how to avoid unsafe-inline when registering a service worker. XD

because of me and my startup I have convinced my buddy to become a programmer. love it!

I let my programming buddy comment all the code I write. He's great. His comments looks like this:
/*
I am groot!
*/

My new coding buddy. He will teach me his knowledge 😊

Day 653

I still didn't manage to close vim but I dont wan't to close my terminal.
Guess I'll accept my new buddy on my screen. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This is how my Project Manager introduced Design guy to the client
"my buddy, great friend and a kickass coding ninja"

And how he introduced a full stack developer
"he knows coding too"

The fuck :||

Story from when game disks were in fashion
I asked my best buddy to burn a disk of GTA vice city so that I can install it on my desktop.
The next day when I receive the disk and insert it into my PC I almost fell of my chair laughing cause that douche bag had copied the icon from his desktop to the disk and burned it .
I almost fell laughing not because what he did , but because he did so when he was in his final year of his IT degree 🤣🤣🤣

Got a little coding buddy from my grandpa 🙃

Me just now: After two whole days I'm finally able to scrape all the pokemon images from pokemondb and now I can start training my CNN.

Buddy: You know they have whole sets of pokemon images on kaggle all labeled ready to go

Me:

My coding buddy. Dual purpose.

My coding buddy Gunther Tux the 3rd

Found some coding buddies at the christmas market 😄

My coding buddy. 3D printed gopher, got it from my colleague.

THE PARADISE EXISTS.

- - Hey buddy, can you create a simple App for me to publish on the Play store?
- let me see first what features you need
- - **Spending 20 minutes talking about so many features and out of the box design**
- that's it?
- - yes that is it, it's​very simple I know it !
- so you think it's​ simple huh? so fo it yourself !...

I just won this debugging buddy at a children's carnival. I must name him. I'm taking suggestions. The winning suggestion gets ++ on their 20 latest rants.

Some motherfucker pulled the entire fucking Lodash library off a CDN so he could use one fucking function.

Buddy, the library is open source, you can just copy the relevant code off Github

This is why websites are slow as fuck, devs import shit they don't need

Others have rubber duck, I got my own set of soldiers....

My new buddy 😊

Speaking of.. What in your opinion would be an appropriate way to warn someone about security problems, like db passwords in git?

I once came across dozens of extremely sensitive services' infra accesses: alibaba/aliexpress, natuonal observatories, gov institutions, telecomms, etc. I had dozens [if not hundreds] routers' and firewalls' credentials along with addresses. I tried one to confirm validity - it worked. I wanted to warn them but did not want to get in trouble.

If it were servers, I'd set a motd or append some warning messages in .profile. But not sure how to do it for non-server devices

what would you do? How would you warn them?

P.S. Deleting that record was a smart move, buddy ;)

p.P.S. Sorry, wrong category... Can't edit now :(

What people don't get about drinking and coding is this.

Coding and development is very similar to art. You've to be creative in your solutions. You've withdraw all emotions and concentrate. And you've to find your own creativity.

You have drunk artists all the time, why not drunk coders?

Goosfraba mofo!!!!

“Temper’s the one thing you can’t get rid of, by losing it.” – Dr. Buddy Rydell

Rubber duck you say, that's cute.

some guy recommended Replika app.
trying it now. so far, my first positive impression was with a thought "nice generic dodge, buddy"

My coding buddy 😁 Her name is Tiamat.

I honestly owe everything to my buddy in our startup. He has taught me how to think in Javascript and that is why I am where I am. We fight almost everyday on almost everything, but there is Noone I respect more than I respect him..

If you need someone to help you out: Superman

I'd like to give a shoutout to the best tool I ever had when I worked in hardware and had to troubleshoot ethernet. The "RLFLTWKW". (The Really Long Fly Lead That We Know Works)

My friend that I worked with long ago just dug it out of a drawer and sent me a photo so we could remember the days when trying to figure out why Mavis couldn't get on the network anymore could be resolved by our faithful friend "TRLFLTWKW". I miss you buddy. You made life so much better.

I wish I had an equivalent to you for coding.

I set up unRAID on my server this weekend, and only just checked my logs to see if anything weird was happening. Turns out 2 IPs have been trying to brute-force the SSH password all weekend. I quickly installed the DenyHosts plugin and reminded myself to always use a strong password, which luckily I did.

A bit later now, and one of the 2 gave up, the other one keeps trying but of course the connection is refused. Just keep trying buddy :P

My coding buddy😍😍

My buddy is all ready. 🍺

Dev1 : hey dude, I am not able to get the slider right like the one in the IMG they've created on WordPress, we need to show this to the client today. Can you help?

Dev2 (short for devil) :
*Tries*
*Sighs*
*Opens up expected screen slider IMG*
*Ctrl + Alt + Printscrn*
*opens Paint ---> crop --> save*
*Inside html, <img src="*above url">*

Done buddy, you owe me one.

Best programming buddies ever!

My buddy told me Apple is Linux with nice drivers 😯

!dev

RIP grumpy cat. You were a great meme buddy

My deares coding buddy is a Toriel plushie, shes just sitting there silently, not judging me i love her.

Also i fucking hate c++ please end the pain.

Started about 4 years ago after losing my job in social work. Realized I liked computers more than talking to people. Picked up a beginning Java text book, and worked through it in a month. I moved over to web development to help a buddy of mine and kill time while unemployed.

Since then, I've run a small web dev business and am currently director of technology for a company with an international presence. I still code on the side an recently launched a new mobile app with a buddy of mine from grade school.

I do not miss social work even a little bit.

Hey buddy pal mate, yeah, i get it, you a good frontend dude but if your page lags on my phone, im gonna just close it and never open it again, so dont you fucking use every possible overhead framework known to man.

there is a window on the right side of my pc and a big ass fuckin spider web. there are some green stink bugs that piss me off a lot so whenever my code is broken and im pissed the fckk off i just look at my buddy web developer eating that fcking bug that got caught in the fking web and im not gonna do anything to help the bug go away fcck uu

When a client asks you to make a form.... With 6 input fields and about 9 output fields.

Cheers buddy, I'll just make the rest up shall I?!?

FFS!

Coworker:Awe..
Fuck me...
Fuck fuck.... I fucked up...This fucking url..

..... Fuck. ... Pages

Me. What's going on buddy
Co worker: pages are down
Me: that sucks bro watchu do

Co worker: nothing too bad

Me: 😕 .. ok..

..... I'm still hearing the "fuuhhhcks" , and groans.

Guess who's delivering the news ... Does dev rants give stress beers.

*Opens IDE*

My brain: oh right! This is that thing that you do to try and convince yourself that coding something will make you feel good about yourself, one day buddy, one day...

Also me: welll... Thanks for the confidence brain *said as I pound down the sixth beer*

exam time buddy.

My best co-worker and teamplayer in games. Unlike like his stupid wireless brother, this buddy is cheap, super-efficient and literally a Genius with capital G.

Today it finally happened. I had a „virus“. I wanted to get KMPico for a buddy of mine since he is to lazy to crack it and installs windows after 2 months again.

Today I woke up to an cheap ass miner I caught by accident. All he fucking did was suspend the task when taskmanager is open. It ran as normal user under the process named „kernel.exe“, no cpu priority/affinity, no elevated startup service, all files in one place (under roaming) and worst of all… he kept an remote connection TO HIS FUKKEN PC open, he even is to cheap to get a root server ffs

I'm I the only one who talks to an imaginary friend when debugging 🌚🌚

In my defense my imaginary friend helps me see things in a different perspective and most times I end up fixing my bugs

Got a new friend on Christmas :D

So after fucking around with me and promising me that I'd be first call if a position opened up but then hiring someone who didn't even show up for there previous interview, one of them messaged me saying a local ISP is looking to fill customer support positions...

Ho ho ho ho! Fuck you buddy! :-D

Had this guy (my debugging buddy) since my first job and it's starting to show :/

I hate so very much about so very many things, I forget some of the things I love.
And what I love is small lines of code that reveal something about their developer. This? This I love to see.

Some guy here studied C at university, decided he liked it so much he would port it over to JS. Absolutely pointless effort, but he decided he would do it nonetheless. The code is clean, documented, just with this little quirk and I'm honestly smiling. You rock, buddy, whoever you are.

I got news for you buddy. The cloud engineers at Amazon are way smarter and better than your idiot staff.

My debugging buddy.🐈❤

So it's Monday and its holiday in my country. But I have a deployment to do. Anyway I have this buddy accompany me which is nice.

A buddy of mine sent this to me from a first year procedural programming course.
The email was in regards to an assignment where they had to print some statistics. The caps letters are the response from the lecturer...
Integers with decimal places hey?